Main Discussion Page

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Tuesday, 18th August, 2026

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They don’t speak clearly enough for me.

And they are too quiet

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Early Christianity has a lot similar with communism. Or I should say, the false and foolish ideas and practises associated with secular communism often find parallels with the practises of the early Christian church.

Some would say that early Christianity was communism and that Jesus was the first communist. But I disagree. It would be better to say that communism is a form of Christianity that got perverted, bastardised and turned into something horrible. Like elf's turning into orcs in lord of the rings.

But the early church was in some sense like communism. But it's better today that communism is like Christianity and the church, just mutilated and tortured into something horrible.

Clarification to prevent misunderstanding.

I don’t like Marxist Communism. It is bad.

I like Christianity. It is good.

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I studied a ton of social sciences and humanities.

^Sorry, someone accused me of just being all about “stem” and not caring about social sciences.

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I actually genuinely despise if you're a member of the Chinese communist party, mostly for all of the wrong and terrible and disgustingly stupid things you've done to the people who happen to share the same ethnicity as you. As well as to the Vietnamese and Cambodians.

By the way, weaponised incompetence is still incompetence. And also, it's a weapon. And if you point it at the people you govern and it goes off, bang! And millions of them die, then you're both incompetent and responsible.

And feigned ignorance is often paired with actual ignorance. And to feign ignorance is often to facilitate it too. And just because feign ignorance it doesn't mean anyone believes you. And if you facilitate the creation of ignorance in yourself and others (which Xi Zhongxun and other CCP members did) and then hide it behind a smoke screen, then you're still guilty of miseducating yourself. And you have made yourself less competent which feeds into the weaponised incompetence.

And so the CCP PRC is guilty of tens of millions of murders amongst the Han people who merely happen to share the same ethnicity as them.

And that is why I despise them.

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Define despise:

To despise means to dislike someone or something very much while having no respect for them.

To look down on with disrespect or aversion.

To feel a strong dislike for someone or something because you think that that person or thing is bad or has no value.

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Elderly people

Personally, old people are a pretty big concern for me. I think the age thing might be bigger deal than gender or race or whatever. Big picture, I'm actually pretty worried about old people in the current system. I think I had two grandparents taken out, maybe a third one got really badly harmed by the system too.

If I'm thinking along the lines of compassion and responsibility, I think old people are a major one to look at.

[A small minority of old people are really evil, but I'll set that aside. And a there is a real problem with some types of old people who don't retire from their jobs and positions of power. And I kind of wish they were forced to retire, especially from politics.]

But I have a boat load of sympathy for old people in general. Both in this current political context, and prior to it. And when I think of how to be compassionate, and how to help people, the elderly are one of the biggest set of people to be concerned for.

They know this whole world situation is stupid and retarded and evil. And they know hivemind stuff and the style of thinking it pushes is horrible. And they hate the silence thing. I know that women have a bad situation being forced to have sex. But I think elderly have it worse. They just can get killed for talking to friends. They get given alzheimers, and they can be intimidated so easily at the street level, and they also can be hurt so easily by attacks on their posture.

I have a ton of sympathy for the elderly. And I think my grandfather got killed because of the game related to me and because he wanted to sleep with Brynn as hush money. It's horrible. Just because he wanted to use a prostitute for her intended purposes, he gets taken out. Too "greedy" they say. A violent prostitute communist who is threatening and harming his grandson. His son Andy became mayor for a while and then is now a member of parliament.

I think that these dregvant falsely accused my other grandfather of sexual molestation, and then there was a court case and he got into a situation where they insisted he get medicated. For alzheimers of something. I think they slammed his brain with electronics and gave him anti psychotics.

And I think my uncle Andy took out grandma, perhaps indirectly, perhaps directly. Or bullied her to death. I'm not sure what happened, but wifi suggests to me that she died of harm to her throat in her sleep. She got suffocated in her sleep by her son Andy. She said something like, I don't want anything.

Anyway, the elderly are a major one for me.

Please don't pay too much attention to the social engineering ideas about disenfranchising the elderly and forcing retirement at the age of 65, and then giving all of them guaranteed state pensions that are fair and decent, but also supporting them. That's just brainstorming and trying to come up with ideas. I do very strongly feel that laws forcing politicians to retire at either exactly 65 or 67 would be a good idea. And judges, CEOs of government entities and directors of state entities too. Maybe CEOs in, and directors of, companies listed on the stock exchange too. Ps: the judges who happen to be old are often good people, and many old people with political power are good too. However, if it was across the board I think it would be better.

The retirement age is just an aside.

Bottom line: I think old people are getting really badly hurt at the moment. And their minds and bodies keep getting attacked. It’s horrible and it’s not fair on them. Because it’s not their fault that the world is governed by idiots and manipulated by retards. And I hope some of my ideas are used by the elderly. To keep them safe, and allow them to engage politically. Hide nestled amongst cupboards in the garage to take naps, watch TV and chat on Facebook. They’re capable of getting a lot done politically, and they can be very effective. They can organise and lead movements, and some of them are quite brave and not at all fearful. They’re not dead weight. The boomer hate I see online is stupid. But probably it’s mostly an internet thing. And boomers aren’t stupid (nor those older). The kids are actually stupid (by that I mean the millennials). Protect and empower boomers, that’s what I say. I’m pro old people and pro boomer.

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What if tens of thousands of boomers and old folks, especially recently retired boomers, started building the garage faraday units and then started talking to one another via Facebook and then started campaigning for improved policing, law and order in their local countries. So much of this is just policing, law and order.

Maybe even hundreds of thousands of older people.

So they’re victims who really need help, and so very quickly. And also I reckon that they’re capable of getting a lot done.

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My political science is economics. With business books, Christian books, ministry podcasts and ministry books, and accounting. Especially economics. It's economics. That's my political theory. I avoided political science itself, and explicitly said that the economics is my political theory. I loved the Austrian school of economics and Friedman. I adored praxeology. I loved the book "Free to Choose" by Milton and Rose Friedman.

"Praxeology is the theoretical study of human action. It focuses on how people make purposeful choices using specific means to reach desired goals.

Action axiom: The fundamental truth that humans engage in purposeful behavior rather than pure reflex."

The study of praxeology trains the mind and improves your understanding of how theory works.

Just read Human Action, twice, and you'll improve. It's not for everyone.

One model, use elections like markets, people are just voters, consumers, workers, producers, political parties are products.

You can just create as many models as you want.

At the end of the day, models and theory are an aid to action <3

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A quick article

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/08/quick-discussion-about-marriage-and.html

Next, I want to say.

When the Christian church arrived on the scene, a lot of free-women were kind of living in a half prostitute situation. They were prostitutes, but I think maybe not always brothel prostitutes. It wasn't nice. Also a lot relied on their Johns to keep them safe. And many became destitute once ugly. Children had prostitutes for mothers and no fathers. Mothers then died and orphans were plentiful and trafficking was rife.

And poverty was horrible, at the lower end of the scale.

It was bad.

Christianity and the church changed things. They showed up and invited so many people in. The offered people the chance to turn away from their old lives and become new again. And to get food and safety from trafficking. And there is another issue, which is that the system of law required advocates and usually a male patriarch was helpful! By that I mean it literally useful to have an adult man to represent you in court. And not every widow, former prostitute or orphan child (in danger of being trafficked into slavery) had one of those. And the church could help you there. And of course they would visit you in jail, clothe you, give you shelter, and tend to you when you were sick etc. They did so much. A note on trafficking: a Roman could just lure a child into doing work at his place, and act nice. And then ask him to work at a different location. Travel with him. And then in a new town, no one knew that the child was a freedman's child, or a citizen/freedwoman prostitute's orphan. So the Roman cooks just say, oh. He's always been a slave. Or her. Aaaannnnddd if you don't have an advocate, you can't actually prove it as a child. Or if you don't basically have community to prove it. And then the kid has limited recourse. Law and order was different back then! And the church provided shelter and advocacy for these kids.

Next, the church provided shelter for children left to be exposed to die (that was the Roman's version of abortion: let the kid be born and then left to die). They would leave them in the side of a hill to die or be picked up by someone. And the church picked up many of those kids: see also this as a counterpoint: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dying_Rooms - that is the heart and soul of CCP China right there.

And so, the church provided a refuge for many people. As well as being a virtual kingdom within a kingdom.

They gave them a new life and a new hope.

Next topic

What then about marriage?

Well. The teaching of the church was that they skip marriage and just focus on serving the poor. Christians, both men and women were recommended to be like St Paul and not get married.

Please read all of this:

I have read it myself dozens of times. I don't remember how many times.

1 Corinthians chapter 7

Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Concerning Change of Status

17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. 24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

Concerning the Unmarried

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong[b] and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.[c]

39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

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It was better to remain unmarried.

To better serve the kingdom of heaven.

But men and women in the church and in Christendom were told that if they wanted to have sex, they were to be married.

From 1 Timothy 5

"As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. 12 Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. 13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. 14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. 15 Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.

I think that this implies that women were being busybodies and also gossiping, and perhaps sometimes they have sex and manipulate people based on that. This is inferred, but not certain.

Anyway, women were refugees in the kingdom of heaven. They were given a place of refuge. And safety. And economic provision. And advocacy. And the husbands available were commanded to be good to their wives, faithful and reliable. And to never divorce them. And instructed to either remain single and celibate or marry. To be able to focus on what's important, such as serving the poor. Which was the biggest issue back then, besides basic oppression.

And so, women in Christendom were refugees adopted by the church, from the horrors of Rome. Adoptees into the kingdom of heaven. Children of God, valued and loved. Invited in, given safety and refuge in this virtualised kingdom within a kingdom. And there were ground rules! Standards had to be maintained, and they were pretty clear.

And the women got a very good deal.

And so I want to make it clear that women weren't enslaved by men and turned into drudge housework and baby making machines. Rather, they were adopted, or given refuge, or given shelter. And singleness was better, if they could handle it.

Women weren't oppressed. They weren't captured and enslaved by men. It wasn't oppresssion. The feminists lied.

Also, marriage for non- upper nobility in the Middle Ages wasn't like you think it is. Plenty didn't marry. And many married late. It's not oppression. Men cared about wives and wives cares about husbands. Exceptions existed, but don't focus on them. Also, many stations of life existed in the "tree of commonwealth".

And so the idea that women are sextastic prizes to be won!! And then controlled by mean nasty men!!! It's all lies. All of feminism is lies. And the romantic movement and chivalry also (chivalry is classist poison and anti Christian poison also). King Arthur and the round table is a disease, and I blame the French. Corrupter of English morals.

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The church offered refuge and shelter to women (and children and men). The church of course being the body of Christ on earth. The earthly manifestation of the kingdom of Heaven on earth.

And then there were ground rules, such as women get married if they want to have sex. Or better yet stay single. Please don't get married aghhhhhhhh. It's better not to.

Single and celibate or married and faithful.

And as part of the rules, there is no divorce and the woman must be obedient to her husband. And the husband must love his wife like Christ loved the church. Those are part of the rules of being given refuge in the local manifestation of the kingdom of heaven, the church or the body of Christ.

Those are the rules.

It's not oppression of a housework doing and baby production machine. Or of a prized sex object.

They weren't oppressed by monogamy.

Marriage, monogamy and lifelong fidelity weren’t oppression. Nor was the command for husbands to love their wives, nor was the command for women to obey their husbands.

Women weren’t a hyper sexy sextastic sex object to be exploited. They were a person be cared about and to be valued.

It was a place of refuge and shelter, and there were rules. And standards.

You actually have to study stuff like history and sociology.

And don't ever forget that women are the weaker sex, and less effective at solving problems. Especially problems in construction, security and politics. And their bodies fall apart heaps.

All of the narratives of feminism are rubbish. Mostly.

But you can just choose as a group to be good to one another. Like at the community level. Or something like that.

Disclaimer: The above is pretty good information, but not perfect. It is a pretty good story, a good take on things. And it’s the best I can do at short notice.

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In accounting terms, they were more of a liability than an asset ahaha. But a labour of love is still love!!

You guys are looking at it from the point of view of a “nation-state” not from the point of view of the Christian church or of Christendom. Many of you never studied the invention and creation of the nation state and why it matters (it was the French). And you look at marriage and family from the point of view of what the nation and the state need. And it shows.

The feminists are wrong about so much, and French thinkers are wrong about so much. Both feminists and French people are to blame for a lot. French thinkers often think from the view of the state and nation: it’s a framing and perspective thing.

That’s a big conclusion.

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Monday, 17th August, 2026

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Have the CCP turned China into their own personal brothel? Like half a dozen normie chicks for every CCP parasite?

And are there tons of educated and over educated young men working jobs delivering food on scooters?

And tons of skinny waif like normie chicks working office jobs for which there were plenty of better candidates?

And do the skinny waif chicks in China get the jobs by shagging communist officials (and other Chinese who need "attention")? I.E. they're willing to be a "good sport" and play ball?

And do the young educated men working food deliver jobs end up doing that because they won't play ball? They won't play the game, and they're too "recalcitrant"?

Is it tied into social credit? Or is it different?

It'll all end badly, I expect.

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I want to be a good person, or a nice person.

But it’s so hard to cope with having words and thoughts shoved into head all the time.

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The people who know my story know that I used to be very religious.

Quite a while ago now.

The people who run these “games” do silly things though and decertify this or that.

But as always I am working on writing my story. And making progress.

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Short clip from Kung Pow! The comedy cult classic from the early 2000s.

https://youtu.be/DpRXj16Fqjo?si=iFECTvkmjDcZKbaM

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Old school friends dressed up in police uniforms imitating the police: Joseph Chapman and Michael Burton

The police in the Hutt were corrupt.

I had a few run ins with the police in the Hutt. And on one or two occasions I ran into a couple of old school friends in the car or on the side of the street dressed as police officers. They were just pretending to be police. Joseph Chapman was driving a police car. While we were in the car, he asked me to guess how old he was.

I also saw Michael Burton in a police uniform. I forget if he was in the police car or on the side of the road. But he attended something.

I had been threatened into doing something dangerous, and the police showed up to talk to me about it. And interrupted. I can’t give many more details. But they were faking being police.

Sooooooooo. The police were involved, and so were the Labour Party (mentioned elsewhere). The National, Act and NZ First coalition were in power at the time though.

By the way…

It’s illegal to impersonate a police officer.

“Impersonating a police officer in New Zealand is a criminal offence under the Policing Act 2008. It covers falsely representing oneself as a police employee, wearing official uniform items without authorization, or modifying a vehicle to look like a police vehicle.

Legal Penalties

Maximum Prison Term: 12 months imprisonment.

Maximum Financial Penalty: A fine up to $15,000.

Additional Charges: Offenders often face concurrent charges depending on their actions, such as forgery, altering documents, or dangerous driving.”

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I like this clip.

Blocking and deflection exist.

https://youtube.com/shorts/9oWS1ltJHj0?si=bH4tHIhd-poI3xj8

And I reckon that overall, Roberto Duran is a good person to watch for a little bit of inspiration.

I posted it because I used to block or intercept a lot of punches with my hands, forearms etc. And I had struggled to explain that properly in previous posts. And so this is a good example of blocking or intercepting punches.

I also ducked or slipped a lot of punches too. And I caught plenty of punches going to the sides of my body with my elbows. And I took punches to my guard if I put my gloves on my face and guarded, although I preferred not to do that as much. But I still did it. They call that the high guard I think. I’m not perfect with terminology. I seldom guarded a hook with my forearm/elbow on the side of my head, preferring instead to just duck the punch. But yes I did still guard that way sometimes.

This one is harder to explain, but I’ll explain it anyway. And I tried to connect my parries, deflects and intercepts with the basic strength of my body. So they would connect in with my frame, stance or posture, so if I parry a straight, or intercept it, it’s connected into my frame or stance, and then into the ground. Making the intercept pretty firm. I hope I explained that one, albeit imperfectly.

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Update: new stuff on top of the “reason”’post below.

Uhhh. If someone wanted something.

Something from me.

Or for me to do something for them.

They could just ask me nicely.

And I might say yes, or I might say no.

They could still appeal to reason.

And say, it's reasonable for you to do this. Or unreasonable for you to do this.

And I might listen to you.

If you're a good person, I might try very hard to help you. And to do good things for you.

If you're a morally mediocre person I might still really go out of my way to help you.

On top of that I might be kind in ways that don't actually make sense.

And even for bad people I might have rules of fairness where I treat them better than they deserve.

I would just use my own standards.

And in general, I might use my own standards and judgement without explaining it or justifying it. To be kind or do good. Or be just or fair. Whose standards should I use otherwise?

Finally…

Who are these people to ask me to explain to them why I do, say, or think the things that I do, say or think? They’re retarded.

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Reason

What is reason?

Am I beholden to it?

Is it the boss of me?

Umm.

No.

I am not beholden to reason.

To my mind, reason makes a perfectly acceptable servant, but a lousy master.

Also

Logic is a good tool, but a daft thing to make your master.

Habits, customs, manners and the choice to be gracious:

I am willing and able to be reasonable in a conversation. When given half a chance. That is I am able to be reasonable.

And I am happy to be sensible in a conversation.

Or to be kind to people, and patient and gracious.

But that's not the same thing as being beholden to reason.

I am free to choose to act or not act in a way that seems appropriate or sensible for me. Within constraints such as violence against my person.

I just figure out what seems best and most appropriate. I’ve had a ton of moral education. And had tons of moral teaching thrown at me. And studied a lot. And I’m quite educated. And I have good intentions and I am willing to communicate with other people.

And besides, these people haven’t made a real commitment to be reasonable. Or to be beholden to reason. So why should I try to dominate them with reason?

Anyways I’m a good man. With tons of integrity. I’m morally excellent. And yeah. That’s about it. And I’m not asking for the permission of a bunch of silly numpties to claim that.

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Definitions and can anyone be bothered anyway?

If I coerce a woman to have sex with me because she is being threatened by a cell tower or satellite… then what is it?

Is it rape at electromagnetic gun point?

Is it kind of similar to rape, but not exactly the same?

Is it kind of in the same conversation as rape, sexual assault, sexual violation, aggravated assault etc?

I think that maybe it's in the same conversation.

Is it the same for all women involved in this?

For a woman who chooses and embraces being a prostitute, is it rape? Sexual violation? Or is it physical coercion to perform a function and role that they have embraced and love and choose? Is it even a role that they fight to have the right to embrace?

For a woman who got pushed into it, is it worse? Is she trafficked, prostituted woman? Is it a worse thing to do morally?

For a woman who embraces physical violence and random attacks on strangers, is it considered physical coercion against her? Or something else? If she just thinks that it is "domination".

Ummm.

Personally, I would rather play video games all day than have to sift my way through all sorts of ethical conundrums all day. I don't want to have to mull ethical conundrums all day. And these "sex games" are all full of various conundrums all day.

I'd rather go for walks, play video games, read books, play with a pet cat, raise a child, work a job creating inventions, go back university to study science and finish my commerce degree, spend time cooking.

Perhaps the question isn't "is it rape or isn't it rape?", but rather the question is "can I just opt out either way?"

And for the record, I said again and again that I didn’t want to participate in the systems of harems and control and sex, because it was inherently coercive towards women.

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Crimes Act of 1961

I was kept in a deliberately crippled state from 2017 to 2022. I wasn’t even able to shower or wash myself. I couldn’t walk around the block or move my arms.

Geraldine and Amanda were “caring” for me.

This is section 195 of the crimes act:

195 Ill-treatment or neglect of child or vulnerable adult

(1)

Every one is liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 10 years who, being a person described in subsection (2), intentionally engages in conduct that, or omits to discharge or perform any legal duty the omission of which, is likely to cause suffering, injury, adverse effects to health, or any mental disorder or disability to a child or vulnerable adult (the victim) if the conduct engaged in, or the omission to perform the legal duty, is a major departure from the standard of care to be expected of a reasonable person.

(2)

The persons are—

(a)

a person who has actual care or charge of the victim; or

(b)

a person who is a staff member of any hospital, institution, or residence where the victim resides.

Section 195 of the New Zealand Crimes Act 1961 defines the offence of ill-treatment or neglect of a child or vulnerable adult, carrying a maximum penalty of 10 years in prison.

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What does respect mean?

In his 1963 "I Have a Dream" speech, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously said he dreamed of a day when his children "will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character." This line links true human worth and equality to personal virtue and moral actions rather than racial prejudice.

Umm.

I have judged the Chinese people, and especially their leadership, by the content of their character, not the colour of their skin.

They are lacking in personal virtue and accumulation of moral actions. They also are lacking in wisdom and good judgement.

Wisdom: knowing and doing what is right, especially with regard to judicial decisions. See Solomon.

Good judgement: they deliberately use bad judgment as part of executing their plans, and kill many. Deliberate stupidity as a part of social change resulting in massive collateral damage is top tier evil.

And so I say I legitimately do not respect the Chinese.

It is a legitimate point of view.

I don't like their language, their philosopher Confucias, I don't like zazen. I don't like their ancient penal codes (knee capping) or foot binding. I don't like Tibetan Buddhism or meditation. I don't like zen. I don't like the idea of people living by Taoism. I don't like Marx, Lenin, Trotsky, Mao or Xi. And I don't like Xi thought. And I don't like their "scientific socialism" (socialism should be unscientific or nothing). I don't like internal martial arts or Chinese footwear. I don't like their boats or sanitation. And I don't like their means of style of governance (psychic attack towers). I don't like their business practises. I don't think they're great at science (mainlanders) and I don't like their classical music. I don't like their internal alchemy. I don't like their views of psychology and edification (theory of mind is a bad term; the way the conceive of the mind working is education and psychology). There is so much to dislike. I also dislike their theories on physical education (medieval, ancient, and early modern, traditional, all of those).

I don't like their manners (they have bad manners). And I don't like their propensity for cruelty.

I like some of the people I have met who are Chinese. I like the style of their gardens, and their little trees (penjing). I like noodles and stir fry and dumplings, chinese tea and kung fu movies (especially Jet Li and Jackie Chan). I feel compassion for Chinese people.

****

Being kind, patient and courteous isn’t the same thing as respect.

And an excellent person be kind, patient and courteous to someone who is unworthy of respect. We do it to be gracious. It’s grace, not an acknowledgement of the dignity of worth of the other person.

****

Sunday, 16th August, 2026

Social Democrats and Communists don’t mix

The battle for the unions: Prime Minister Tage Erlander famously rallied his party against the political threat of the radical left, coining the directive that "every union must be turned into a battleground against communism" to actively out-organize them within the labor movement.

The number one goal of any social democratic movement is to purge communists from amongst their ranks. And if social democracy can't do that, a good social democrat should quit and join a centrist party.

In Sweden they pushed the Marxists out, and often relied on implied support and agreements with a centre right farmers party rather than rely on communists iirc. Marxists are cancer.

Sweden was the most successful social democratic society in the world. And they didn’t like Marxists.

New Zealand used to have a very successful welfare state and social democracy. And our forefathers LOATHED Marxists.

The alternative is.... Hungary in the post war years.

Google: “was the workers party and the AVH kidnapping social democrats, torturing and killing them in Hungary prior to the 1956 revolution”.

Systematic Torture and Killing by the ÁVH

Operating as the "fist of the working class," the ÁVH utilized brutal Soviet NKVD methods against political dissidents at their notorious headquarters on 60 Andrássy Avenue (now the House of Terror museum):

Inhumane Interrogations: Captives faced continuous sleep deprivation, starvation, and grueling physical positions for 10 to 12 hours at a time.

Severe Brutality: Guard forces routinely extracted false confessions using electric shocks, cigarette burns, beatings with rubber truncheons, and tearing out fingernails.

Execution and Forced Labor: Thousands of political prisoners—including prominent Social Democrats—were either executed after rigged trials or perished from systemic ill-treatment in brutal forced labor colonies, such as the Vác Penitentiary.

This regime of extreme terror and the violent elimination of Left-wing democratic options caused massive public outrage. It directly led to the widespread hatred of the secret police, culminating in the outbreak of the 1956 Hungarian Revolution, during which citizens targeted ÁVH officers in retaliation.

****

The word president was chosen because it was the most humble word that they could fine.

It just means "the guy who presides".

In America at least, he was supposed to basically watch over the legislature. And it was supposed to be a legislature and judge driven approach to governance.

A president is the guys who sits in a meeting and makes sure everything flows smoothly. But they decide things by a vote.

****

Saturday, 15th August, 2026

****

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2025/05/not-hivemind-guy.html

Do you remember this page?

Not a hive mind guy?

Do you remember when people laughed at the faraday booth?

Or the faraday mini office?

****

If you guys want me to speak to you guys, then you’ll have to speak up. You need to increase the volume.

****

What does ideology have to do with it?

What you need is to create a product and make it go viral on social media.

To do that you need to have a laboratory and workshop.

But I don't have one of those.

And so I want to do a distributed, decentralised, open source innovation, research and development project. And I want to use other people's resources.

But to do that need to have the ability to go online and post stuff without getting my website take down.

I also need the ability to come up with ideas without the CIA, CCP or French Communists coming to kill me!! And I need time to do that!!

How can I get this ability to have a website without having to take it down?

How can I do a distributed, decentralised, open source innovation, research and development project where I can use other people's resources?

How can I get the time and space to do good innovation and invention?

I guess that I need to be a part of someone else's scheme, and hijack it.

A scheme where it's not okay to kill me! Where killing me is against the rules!

And then I need a way to communicate with the general public and publish my ideas, get them out to the masses.

And so here we are.

Ahahahhahahahhaha. What a crazy world. I’m so tired.

****

Revsoceng

Make democracy democratic again!

Take democracies that have stopped being democratic because of interference and manipulation by corporations, banks, media institutions and universities, big tech and super rich people, and the CCP, and make them democratic again!

That is what I means when I said that I want to "destroy the system".

I wanted to destroy the system of corporate interference, manipulation and control that ruins democracy.

The end goal are democracies where the actual people hold sway.

It's not psychopath stuff to want to "destroy the system" when what you mean is to destroy the system of corporate control that prevents democracy from being democratic!

***

It's not psychopath stuff to want to make democracy democratic again!

***

How? Expelliarmus!!

Disarm the system??!

That's how you do it.

With what?

Sociology and engineering.

Social sciences, economics, psychology, religious studies, philosophy, criminology, humanities, history, engineering, product design, design in general, information science, physics, materials science, computer security and other such things. Especially sociology, engineering, physics and economics.

****

Egypt Sucked

Egypt sucked. They were shite.

There were better people groups with better cultures up in Europe.

Like the beaker people. Or the lake dwelling stilt house people in Switzerland.

Egypt was a crummy civilisation.

****

In 2000 BC (the early Middle Bronze Age), the north side of the Mediterranean did not feature large centralized nation-states or unified empires. Instead, the region was defined by vibrant palace-centered or regional chiefdom networks, early urban city-states, and tribal or shifting local communities rather than formal modern kingdoms.

Major Northern Mediterranean Civilizations and CulturesMinoan Crete An advanced palatial civilization on the island of Crete ruled by powerful kings or elite monarchs, dominating the maritime trade of the southern Aegean and Eastern Mediterranean.

Anatolian Principalities (Asia Minor) The northern and central parts of modern-day Turkey were transitioning into early organized societies, laying the groundwork for entities like the Hittite city-states before the Old Hittite Kingdom fully consolidated shortly after.

Early Helladic / Aegean Communities Mainland Greece and the surrounding islands were populated by early Bronze Age Greek-speaking and indigenous populations living in fortified regional settlements and nascent towns, prior to the rise of the later Mycenaean palaces.

Balkan and Italian Tribal Societies The rest of Southern Europe, including the Italian peninsula and the Balkans, consisted of independent farming, pastoral, and emerging metalworking communities organized into tribal groups rather than kingdoms.

****

Like...

Dude, bro, dude.

What if some computer hacker just turns off all of the satellites and cell towers and associated systems? Using a "social engineering hack" (shout out to Steve Gibson for teaching me about "social engineering hacks" and penetration testing on the area of computer systems security).

****

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbQTh2gjPc8/?igsh=Ymp6M3VrbjlvNWY3

^Are Chinese people just plain childish?

They are adults, and fully accountable and responsible adults at that, but they choose to be childish people. And they seem to choose to “become” childish people. They embrace it and adopt it as their way of life and way of being. They’re not like us. They change themselves into being childish, and they grow in childishness over time. They don’t believe in proper discipline of the heart, mind and soul. They don’t believe in self-discipline or in training yourself to become a better person. They don’t believe in doing their duty according to principle and in being strict with oneself.

For example, they don’t memorise scripture and use that to remind themselves to be better people. They don’t keep prayer journals. They don’t listen to hours of sermons, they don’t listen to lectures and talks about discipline. They just don’t.

Is childishness part of who these (responsible and accountable) adults choose to be.

Note: the video is Taiwan’s parliament.

For extra information, look at the history of Singapore and see how they got kicked out of Malaysia for being jerks.

****

Friday, 14th August, 2026

****

Who is better at foot care?

A Chinese foot binding specialist or a western podiatrist?

Who is better at the care and training of the mind?

A Chinese meditation specialist, or a western thinker. An expert in abstract thinking and a long term _education_ fanatic.

You might think that a quieted mind, a mind where the inner monologue has stilled, the watcher has faded, the sense of self has changed and meshed in with your sense of awareness of the outside world, a mind that thinks ever thing is one, a mind modified by long meditation and mindful awareness, is beautiful.

But some people used to think that the lotus foot was beautiful too.

****

Should a mind be cluttered? Or empty? Like still water in which the silt has settled?

Picture above is from Howl’s Moving Castle. My other favourite book. Along with a Wild Sheep Chase and Thief of Time.

Even though I also like everything Pratchett and nonfiction like J.E. Gordon too.

****

I actually want to be nice to people. And to be kind to them. And to help them, and not harm them. And make their lives better. And heal the situation we see in society today.

[for example, just imagine if we saw an outbreak of mass sanity and basic decency ahahaha].

Real point: I actually want to be nice to people!!

****

Actually not coherent

Seeing other people/identity groups as of equal or similar importance means that I'm trying to come up with solutions that are good for all sorts of people. And that other race/gender/age/intellect groups are worth devoting energy to solving problems for.

And also that I'm not willing to tolerate massive collateral damage in certain groups more than others. For example, 200000 Americans or 200000 people in Yemen. Same to me.

Sooooo. Some people would say meh to a ton of deaths in Nigeria or Turkey/Armenia or in a war in Mali or losses amongst union officials in Latin america, or people dying in conflict with communists in Philippines. Or in a war between Cambodia and Thailand. Or they would be willing to see tons of deaths in let's say, communist Russia invading germany in World War Two. But I'm like... nah. Try to see the deaths as equivalent. Just for my mind. Deaths amongst "natives" or "ethnics" matter just as much. And I try to see it that way, just for my own internal accounting (I'm not externally accountable for that, just internally). By the way, one of the reasons that matters is that... some people will be cut off really hard with the economic reorganisation and stuff over the next 5-10 years. Some people will be seen as "not mattering".

So I see it as, wasting lives in Pakistan, Nigeria or Brazil, versus New York or Milan or Barcelona. Those aren’t any cheaper. Even though on some level they kind of are (even though I hate it). They don’t matter any less.

So I think carefully about who might suffer and die if the cell tower stuff gets dealt with. And I weight it up very carefully. Who kills who? Can we have prison instead of executions in many cases? What happens to women? What happens to Chinese women! What happens to women in Africa or India, not just New Zealand or Australia or America or thenUK. What happens in China? Should worry about the lives of the communists, or just the common folk? How much sympathy should I have for the communist in China? Maybe 3/10? I don’t want more collateral damage than is necessary. I very much want to avoid mass deaths and mass graves and atrocities. We had enough of those in the past. And mass graves and mass murders and atrocities matter whether they be in poor parts of Brazil, Auckland, Hong Kong, Barcelona, Italy, Nigeria, Mali or whoever. Or India. So 50000 people who get slaughtered in Cyprus or something are important like 50000 in Chile. Or 50000 who get slaughtered in India are as important as 50000 who get slaughtered in Canada. But we may be looking at many, many more deaths. It’s horrifying and horrible. But that’s they situation that we may see. 20-30 million deaths in the next few years, and many more in prison? I don’t look forward to the future. But the foolish and irresponsible decision of the lunatics in charge have created an unsustainable situation that is probably doomed to fail. It’s horrible. Unlike some people, I actually care about people and want them to survive and to thrive.

And then… Elderly!!

Elderly!!

I think they’re getting a really bad deal. They matter too. They’re still people. Proper people. They get treated like burdens to throw in the trash. They’re proper people. The cell tower stuff is awful for them.

And what about people with big brains? They get a raw deal sometimes. I think. Anyway. That’s not the main one, just important for me.

****

Just to settle a bickering match between myself and some Chinese people. It’s not actually such a monstrous thing to have suggested that America nuking Beijing back in 1950 to liberate the Chinese from the communists wasn’t a bad idea. To rescue the Chinese people, who are extremely precious, from the Chinese communists, who are extremely evil and basically worthless, is a good thing to do. And if there was collateral damage, then it might still be okay. If you had to kill millions of communists and also millions of normal Chinese, to liberate and rescue tens of millions of ordinary Chinese people, then how many it would be worth it? Don’t forget that the hopeless duffers killed 40 million of their own in peace time, using starvation, during the Great Leap Forward.

****

Reverse social engineering was/is supposed to be altruistic.

And come from a place of love and compassion towards the human race.

Disclaimer: I’m not willing to be held accountable on this. Because people will just play silly buggers about language and terminology.

****

Table Tennis is Awesome

I can’t vouch for this guy as a person, but he’s right.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Db-wBVAMGxh/?igsh=MXM4NjZlZ3I3ZnI4cA==

Table tennis is the best sport out there for preventing alzheimers. It’s great for brain health and overall wellbeing. That’s one of the things China got right. They love table tennis. It’s one of the smartest sports out there. If you’re looking to improve yourself and boost your own well being, it’s the best. If you’re looking to impress people or boost your status when you’re young then being good at rugby, American football or soccer might be better. But think that table tennis IS better for you than most sports. It’s for you, not for impressing others. Not for glory or status.

Like “chess on steroids” for improving your brain.

And it’s less of a hassle to organise than softball or cricket.

****

I’d rather be gaming

I should be chilling out playing Counterstrike 2, Halo Three, Call of Duty and games like that. I should also be playing Skyrim and Witcher 3. I missed those games. I also want to finish Oblivion - I never finished it back in the day. I also would love to play Natural Selection Two given that I have never played it

Other games that I might like to play include: assassins creed 3, fallout 4 and 5, portal 2, all of the other halo games from 3 through to infinite. Rainbow six siege, maybe? For a while. Baldurs gate (maybe! I hated the old Baldur gate) and Subnautica 2. And cyberpunk.

I shouldn’t be arguing with lesbians and Chinese communists. A guy should be able to just say, nah. Nah, I can’t be bothered with your political nonsense. I’m waiting for it all to blow over.

I am straight up not having a good time.

****

Thursday, 13th August, 2026

****

It's okay to insult whiny, bratty, crybaby sore losers who force you to play a "game" that you didn't want to play and then when you win and have been declared victorious try to back out. And keep on attacking you.

I mostly just want to be left alone to be safe and rehabilitate!

****

Carrying Capacity

Carrying capacity is a big problem. See "Club of Rome". Resource scarcity is a problem (that's economic terminology). Oil and soil and irrigation water and fisheries and a few other resources like gas.

Uhhh.

One of the problems is that the communist brigade and dregs might just be too dim to do a good job of adapting society to this, and we need better problems solvers. In fact, we need our best problem solvers for this. And we need all hands on deck to solve these problems of adaptation. So we can innovate. And also so we have good governance and administration. These communist and dregs are very, very bad at environmentalism, and economics and good management. And so maybe we need to get them swept to the side, and put proper in the right positions. So that problems can be solved.

****

I have quite bad myopia.

I also have issues with focusing my eyes and tracking properly. This is related to posture.

And I have some damage to my retinas due to uv light from working at a lab.

Three issues.

And

I can't wear glasses at the moment.

****

They keep on hijacking my day dreams

****

Design brief:

How do I restore privacy to people at a grassroots level in the form of an affordable product that can be manufactured almost anywhere?

Anywhere being any medium sized town in the developed or semi-developed world?

How can I make it possible to mass produce it?

Even at the age of 18 I might have been able to do it. And I would have been thinking along these line, possibly.

I love the faraday slab canopy bed idea.

I adore it.

Normal people can have privacy from the peeping Tom, voyeur and pervert brigade. And their children and teenagers too.

****

I am a fanatic about life long education

(and life long learning and also reading and also life long self education, especially self education).

****

I learned about how to learn and how to educate myself my reading about the life of James Watt and the life of Faraday.

I also learned that genius is not just about being a wunderkind brain box, but also about accumulated knowledge that builds upon itself. And that when you build up knowledge you can do great things.

From other sources, I learned about the importance of being a generalist. And looking and multiple disciplines.

****

These people have blocked me from having conversations about:

What do I want

What am I asking for

What would I like

What do I desire

What would I appreciate

How would I like to administrate it

When would I like it

Can I opt out of sex with dregvant?

Can I opt out of sex with normal women who have been trafficked and prostituted?

Can we clearly define what I want and what I don’t want? Write it down and discus it?

This is history:

By I have tried to have these conversations again and again. All to no avail. Ps: there is no such thing as a “whatever to whatever” it’s just backwards nonsense being spouted by Chinese Communists and Bisexual Harlot. And scientific socialists who can even handle basic science (materials science and engineering as applied to technological innovation).

****

Please increase the volume!!

I can’t hear you!!!!

****

I am not having sex until I am healthy:

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/08/im-not-having-sex-until-i-am-healthy.html

****

Women are people, not commodity products.

I don’t really want to treat people as commodity products.

I have tried saying this to them again and again.

****

I asked to be able to opt out. Of the inherently coercive harem model and approach. I didn’t want to coerce women into sex.

More below

****

They keep saying "prove it".

Instead, it would be more appropriate to say, "Would you please tell me your story, in full, from start to finish. I would really like that. And once you're done, would you be so kind as to explain the details a little bit more thoroughly".

And that is what I’m doing. It’s taking some time though.

****

I tried to have conversations about non-coercion of women into sex and conversations about exploitation of women. But they weren’t willing to do so.

They weren’t willing to even show up for the conversations.

3 years ago, again and again I said that I didn’t want to have a harem because it was coercive toward women. It would be forcing the women to have sex with me.

I said that in theory, I could tolerate a libertarian harem. But I didn’t want to coerce women into sex as part of a harem.

But they didn’t show up for the conversation.

And they ignored me.

And they just pushed for me to “want them”. In a way that “by passed words”. Umm. Basically they just threatened and coerced me into masturbating for 14-18 hours a day, while observing me. I had assumed that it was on camera. I now know that it wasn’t.

And I was so crippled at the time including even shower at all or dress myself properly or floss my teeth comfortably or put on shoes and socks safely or go for a walk around outside or wash my backside properly, or handle doing normal laundry, or cook normally. And also they hit me with hot and cold all of the time. So I had to struggle to maintain a suitable temperature.

I asked to be able to opt out. Of the inherently coercive harem model and approach.

This next bit is prior to the masturbation bit:

This is another period of time:

They would alternate between hot and cold.

To cool off, I would open the door.

To warm up I would stand in front of the heater.

In between cooling off and heating up, I would sit down on a chair and relax. And rest, while listening to banal music and breathing.

I would control my thoughts, manage my posture and body carefully, and try to control levels of relaxation.

It was a real balancing act.

I had to maintain tight physical control all of the time.

It was horrible.

They will dispute it, but they are actually retards.

I was always fighting to get rest, regulate my body temperature, regulate my nervous system, cope and survive. It was a massive struggle.

We were having conversations about what I “wanted” during both periods of time.

If I ignored the temperature changes, I could actually get sick.

I also had to sleep under a pile of blankets with also the air conditioner on full blast through the night, or else I would over heat.

I also had to point a fan at myself to direct cold air at myself or else I would overheat.

I think that I had the air conditioner on, and then a fan to blow the cold air at me when I slept, just to stay regulated at night.

It was a horror show. And all while crippled.

****

Tuesday, 11th August, 2026

****

The ability for me to claim dominion over a bunch of women as mere sex objects is not a “plus” for me, it is a “minus”.

I tried to have this conversation with them hundreds of times. But they denied me that opportunity. I pleaded with them again and again.

It was one of the most important conversations that I wanted to have with them. But I wasn’t allowed to have it!

That was one of the main reasons I wanted to have a proper conversation with them!!!!

***

The ability for me to claim dominion over a bunch of women as mere sex objects is not a “plus” for me, it is a “minus”.

That’s what the inside of my mind looked like. When I was trying to talk to them in the past.

Stuff like that.

I’m not sure they publish it though. When I say things like that.

But I tried to tell them that over and over again, 2-3 years ago. But they don’t care and don’t want to hear it.

***

Digression: FWIW, when I was younger I read a fair chunk of feminist literature and learned a lot from it. And as a compassionate person, I was actually quite sympathetic towards the ideas and issues raised, but from a Christian perspective. And so I enjoyed learning from it, but didn’t share the same conclusions.

I was sympathetic to stories of sex trafficking, child molestation, prostitutes getting abused and mistreated, domestic violence, women who had no options but marriages, female genital mutilation, men who cheat and give their wives diseases, and many other issues. The inability to get loans, mortgages, drive cars, have licenses, have agency, make their own decisions and many other things. I was sympathetic to stories from Saudi Arabia and women being repressed there. And also sympathetic to stories from books like “The Good Women of China” by Xinran and “Burned Alive” by Souad. I was quite deeply affected by The Good Women of China at the time.

Unfortunately, I didn’t realise that a significant minority of women are totally heart, mind, body and soul sold out to total dedication to evil all the time, and they conflate evil with power. Every minute of every day they eat, breathe and sleep evil. And so to feel sympathy and compassion is a good thing, but to understand the depths and horrors of infinite evil that exist in the inner worlds of women is something else. I think they have less power in the world as individuals, so they make up for it with extreme and disturbing amounts of evil.

But I still want to remain a kind and compassionate person but ahahahahahha. What a lovely world we live in.

****

The seriousness of what I experienced from 2017 - 2023 is so massive than I’m just not willing to go along with what these people want. It actually doesn’t make sense to be having sex with any of these people. The level of horror and suffering, and the enormity of what was done over those years was so massive that none of this makes sense.

It might be about an order of magnitude worse than they make it out to be.

How then can I be expected to genuinely and honestly want these women? It beggars belief. And to think that they coerced me into claiming to desire them? Which I could claim only by technicality and with tremendous protestations to the contrary along the way?

****

To the CCP: I'm still stuck in Mao's great famine and CCP officials berating and attacking farmers for not giving them more grain. My head is still there.

Sorry. Not much you say is going to get through to me.

That and I’m still stuck in my childhood reading of holocaust literature.

****

The Industrial Revolution was one of the most awesome things ever. It was epic and tremendously good for people.

And it means that small business owners could show up and get money and could also scale up production and raise more funds (debt and equity markets) and scale up production and make enough money to become wealthy and influential and then use their money to become a reformer and it creates class mobility and also cheap and good consumer goods for everyone. And I love the Industrial Revolution and manufacturing and equity markets and debt markets and investment banks and stock issuance and initial public offerings and companies with limited liability for investors and the ability to trade your initial investment in a “secondary market” known as the stock market and the ability to use various types of debt and the ability to raise capital to increase production. And the Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a boon for mankind and the romantic movement and Marxism have been a reaction against it and a form of cancer. Reformism is okay, and a lot of reformers did good things and basic socialism wasn't that bad and did some good things but at the end of the day it was just reform and reformers and reformism and smart policy and words are just words and the bottom line is that the Industrial Revolution and its consequences have been a boon for the human race.

Action point:

https://oyc.yale.edu/history/hist-251

^Consume this series if you want to know why.

And this one too:

https://oyc.yale.edu/history/hist-251

It was deliberately stream of consciousness. With deliberately awkward use of language and terminology.

****

Human Limitations

I am at the limits of my cognitive and physical capacity. And I've been there for ages. And I'm at the limits of my ability to use my "will". Like, I am functioning at the human entity's limits. I can't do much more than I am. Cognitively, psychologically, physically. I have to micromanage everything: even cognition. That's why I'm odd and normally functioning. And I don't have full access to all aspects of abstract thought, which is what I use to micromanage myself.

The reason I say that is that sometimes I make decisions based on what I'm able to do within my systems of thought, or structures of cognition rather than what might seem ideal overall.

****

New topic:

Sex

Firstly, I will not be having sex until I'm fit and healthy and have been healthy for at least 90 days. I will use my own standards and my own judgement.

***

My vague plan with the women and how to treat them is to use my own judgment independently of what these people (lesbians or bisexual harlots or Chinese or literal pedophiles or terrorists) order me to do. And to do that independently of what they threaten me with. Even if it is to chop off my hands and feet like it's Belgium in the Congo in the late 19th to early 20th century.

And so I'll use my own judgement.

I'm the only one who has a modicum of sense here. The women don't, the Chinese don't. The lesbians don't (they're all lesbian or bisexual pervert harlots). And many of them are either communists or "scientific" socialists, which to me is synonymous with being a bit retarded. Especially because these "scientific" socialists are bad at science.

****

History:

Ps: fuck you kill me..

That meant back then, I will think and act according to my own standards. And especially I will use my own mind to think however I please in whatever words I choose to structure my thoughts. And if you don't like it, your only recourse is to attack and kill me like the daft thugs you are.

****

History:

If I could go back in time.

Maybe I would tell you guys that the only sex I'm willing to have with these prostitutes is in missionary. And only if they're not too diseased to kiss. And afterwards we can sit on the couch and hold hands and watch tv. While having a hot drink and a biscuit. And set an upper limit of no more than once a day (Brynn tried to tell me that I have to have sex lots of times per day to make it worth their while, up to ten times). But they seemed to insist that I have to do crazier stuff.

Or maybe I would refuse to have sex until privacy is restored on planet earth.

Perhaps not until we take the whole system offline. Or invent special privacy beds that shelter us from watchful eyes.

****

Peeping Toms

If you are a peeping tom and invade other people's sex lives and watch them having sex or masturbating. Or interact with them by taking to them. Or manipulate their bodies at all. Then that is sexual assault and voyeurism.

And you are a pervert.

And you should get 20-40 years in jail for participating in that.

And that alone as far as I am concerned is enough to classify you as a pervert for life, tattoo it across your forehead, have you caned and imprisoned for 20-40 years.

Why such severe consequences? Well, ask yourself, if a computer hacker in the old days hacked a camera and watched tuned your spouse in your bedroom for months and months. Would that be a crime?

Well, what if an organised crime group did the same? And did it to millions of people. And threatened these people again and again, and told them to masturbate, all day long, and tell you how hot you were, cut themselves and tell them how much you want them. And jump off of high objects and smash glass objects?

That could be seen as a massive crime.

Organised crime, voyeurism, invasion of privacy, sexual assault, perversion, indecent assault, indecent acts, inducing indecent act by threat. And in my case kidnapping.

Therefore, you are all perverts.

****

Back when all of this started I thought I was on camera. And if I had known a little bit more I’d have refused to have sex until I had privacy again. By either inventing a home privacy device, or doing a computer hack to disrupt and take down the system.

I’m not a pervert freak like these people.

****

These women had real difficulty understanding and interpreting the phrase, "get away from me you pervert freaks, I want nothing to do with you".

I said that phrase again and again to them. About 2 years 9 months ago.

How difficult is it to understand the statement "get away from me you pervert freaks, I want nothing to do with you"?

It's not, is it?

But they used attacks of hot and cold, and other tactics to coerce me into doing what they wanted me to do. I.e. to pursue them. It's horrible.

I had made it clear to them that they weren't wanted.

I will get back to writing my story now.

****

Slapdash information: more back story

Did you know that Amanda used family violence legislation against me to get me arrested and thrown out of the house?

I got charged with family violence and psychological abuse under the family violence act of 2018.

This carries with it a potential 3 year prison sentence

She did this after crippling me for 6ish years, illegally exploiting me for an ivf baby. And corrupt doctors, a corrupt district health board, very corrupt police, corrupt lawyers, corrupt politicians, corrupt lawyers at the pds were all a part of it. Including two of these with a nz order of merit designation. She also attacked me with cutting my face at night, cutting my foot with a razor sharp piece of metal, cutting my feet with porcelain items, putting glass in my morning cup of tea. And shoving me randomly, when I had basically no resilience to being pushing. And striking me without provocation with a hard object on my bad shoulder (believed by my doctor to be partially dislocated).

After subjecting me to years of scientific and medical experimentation and horrific crippling.

I asked her for help and advice by the way, for years and years. About how to get my health back. But she never told me what was wrong.

And so I was kept crippled, freezing cold, covered in dead skin and caked on dirt. Underweight. Incapable of rehabilitation. Effectively denied the ability to read books, go for walks or socialise in a normal manner.

And I wasn't able to shower or dress myself normally.

And in spite of being unable to shower normally. Well I couldn't shower at all, she wanted sex to get pregnant. Which I provided.

I thought I was chronically ill with a mystery illness and that she was my wife and cared about me. And that is why she was keeping me alive.

I felt that if I went to doctors, that they would be incapable of finding anything wrong with me. And would direct me towards care home or facility. And I would be described as mentally ill, instead of seriously physically unwell. And that I would possibly die in a care facility. And so I avoided doctors.

The full story is yet to come. I’m still writing it. Start to finish.

****

Just asking questions?

Dumb question, but are people illegally immigrating into Europe from Egypt, Tunisia, and Morocco, alongside West and Central African countries including Guinea, Côte d'Ivoire, Mali, Senegal, and Nigeria allowed to have basic open conversations about governance and politics inside their own countries?

If they could have basic normal conversations about how to govern themselves, and could solve their own problems at home, would as many of them be illegally trying to get into another place for free stuff in this clown pants world?

Just a thought.

Ditto for Latin America.

****

Monday, 10th August, 2026

****

I want sleep. And to be safe enough to rehabilitate myself.

****

They have this idea they call the "stranglehold" that maybe should be reassessed...

Let's talk more about it some other time..

More: they tighten my neck, and it causes serious long term problems. And perpetuates all of the horrible things they have done to me. They have done it for ages. I think. It ruins the whole posture. (As a secondary effect, it has also ruined my proprioception. I have figure it out abstractly and by imagination and through inference).

****

Instead of saying hajimemashite, I should say, "Buddha, Confucius, Chinese characters (Marx, Lenin)".

I reckon that because of Buddhism, Confucius and the Mandarin Chinese language that the Chinese aren't very good at abstract thinking. They don't have good fundamentals

They aren't good at abstract thinking.

And this also means that they struggle with things that piggy back on top of that. Such as creativity, problem solving, having principles, honesty and integrity. They struggle with doing their duty according to standards. Basic discipline. Basic moral decency. They also struggle with creativity and problems solving in science. They aren't very good at clear headed thinking in general.

And then alongside this they have chosen to engage in a lack of rectitude in general. Just in general. They have decided to be dishonest.

And also along side the abstract thinking problems they have a bad culture when it comes to matters of the intellect. A bad culture when it comes to "thinking really hard about things". A bad culture when it comes to the life of the mind. And so much of education, science, conversation and inventiveness comes down to culture.

And then...

They want to be the ones to define things. Explain things. And classify things. Which I think is bonkers!?

Uhhhh.

Why should they be the ones to define things?

Given that they suck at abstract thinking and have serious culture problems.

And then they define things that relate to my life, and want to do it their way. Such as the word "want", the word "hot", the word "torture", and the definition of words like "crippled" or "disabled". And also things like "deconditioning" and a few other things. They also want to classify things their way, like pretending that they didn't cripple me for 8.5 years.

Or they pretend that I have to prove things to them to make it correct. As though they are a sensible judge/arbiter of anything.

I think that Buddhists aren't as good at building things up in their kind, and doing long term creative work for the sake old problem solving. They don't get lost in thought the same way properly educated and trained people do.

I tried meditation for while, and felt that to continue with it would be stultifying. And so I became a self trained person. Especially in abstract thinking itself, and the roots of it, for the sake of problem solving.

They can handle repetitive patterns okay though, like mandala.

****

B grade post, just a ramble/rant

Meditation is bad for you.

Life long meditators aren't "staid".

Their ideas about what is "normal" or "not normal" cognitively is out of whack.

Enlightenment is lame.

The systems for developing, disciplining and training the mind in the Anglo-western world are better than those in backwards nations such as Tibet and China.

The Anglo-Western approach lends itself better to abstract thinking and problem solving. And I think that the Buddhist approach doesn't. And I think that if you look at the history of scientific and engineering achievement over the course of history, especially physics in the 20th and 21st century, then you'll find a lot of Jews and Christians in there, and not many Buddhist meditators. In particular, look at Singapore, China and South Korea and their Nobel prizes won.

And next, I might suggest that the Anglo-western approach and the Buddhist approach aren't direct competitors towards one another. The Anglo-western approach is actually good, and has depth (it's actually more of a culture than a mere approach). And the Buddhist approach to training the mind is just a clown show. Our approach involves a lot of things. Especially education. But also self education, things like playing the piano, learning languages etc.

The ideas associated with meditation have influenced the thinking of those who developed the satellites and cell tower systems. And it shows.

Their ideas of normality and normalcy when it comes to the proper functioning of the mind are out of whack.

And their ideas of what's appropriate when it comes to the supernormal functioning of the mind are out of whack. Or their ideas of what is appropriate when it comes to the functioning of the supernormal, well trained mind is out of whack.

****

Sunday, 9th August, 2026

****

About 2-3 years ago

I tried telling these people that doing things in a voluntary non-coercive way was my cup of tea. But they weren't willing to listen.

By that I mean that I told them that their idea for a harem was coercive towards women and I didn't want to have one on those terms. And I would only want a harem, in theory, if it were on a voluntary, voluntary basis.

I tried telling them this many times.

But then they forced me to play their game anyway, which I didn’t want to play at all (which I won by the way, and in which I was declared victorious. And also a bunch of women declared themselves to be mine in perpetuity in relation to my victory).

****

If I had a faraday nook, I'd listen to Pink Floyd and get some rest.

****

https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/1614273545?ref_=mr_referred_us_au_nz

^I read this book when I was in my early twenties. Twice.

It is “Human Action” by Ludwig von Mises. It’s a good one. It changes the way I see the world, and the way I analyse things.

****

I imagine... two guys. Sitting in the faraday TV nook.

One is 26, one is 23. They're brothers.

The house belongs to the older brother. The younger brother is temporarily staying with him (paying rent).

They live in Arkansas, USA. They're in a medium sized town. It's not that big, not that small. Not that fancy, not that run down either. It's just normal.

The older brother has a mullet. The younger brother has a gigantic ear ring that stretches the ear out. One is wearing a tap out t-shirt the other one is dressed in a singlet, a plaid shirt and badly worn jeans.

They can just sit there at the TV and watch lizard lick towing, storage wars and bad Japanese games shows. While waiting for the NASCAR to come on. They play Halo 3, Baldur's Gate, Diablo and sometimes mine-craft. They invite 2 of their friends over for Saturday night college football and watch it inside their nook. They just bring out beanbags.

And it cost them less than the price of two second hand quad bikes. Which they had the money for. It's not exactly dirt cheap to build one of these. But it's doable.

They love it.

The normals can afford it.

They're talking all the time about how they want to have a warehouse converted in the local town. But it's too expensive for guys like them to even contemplate funding it themselves. But at least they can afford a space to relax un-interfered with.

The guys mother visits to watch yellow stone and swamp people. And his sister hijacks it to watch American idol with 5 of her friends (how they all fit, nobody knows).

It rebuilds their social lives. All of them.

The brothers and their close family use it to read the news paper and make phone calls as well.

When the younger brother has his girlfriend over, they watch movies together. Mostly dumb actions. And listen to music together. And have literally the first experience of time truly alone together. They can actually talk. Which is a new experience.

Normal people can afford it.

****

Ramble about corporations and the new east India trading company

This is the new east India trading company. It's just corporations doing bad things so that corporate jerks and investors can maintain control and make money. SpaceX and the telco sector is the new east India trading company. And the telco people and the satellites are the private corporate army. And the Chinese are two things: firstly, they are a money and resource laundering operation. Secondly they are a glorified call centre.

Next, the "normal" people on the ground are just sex addicts used as cheap labour, or prostitutes who sell out as corporate servants.

Anyway, I can make models till the cows come home.

Proof: look at Coca Cola corporate revenue. Their company is doing just fine. Corporate profits are great. Look at the last decade. Profits and revenues are fine.

The system exists globally to maintain corporate profits and corporate balance sheets. The people are being attacked, but corporate balance sheets are sacrosanct. The integrity of the limited liability mass shareholder corporate structure is maintained. It is sacred. Protected.

And it is perhaps possible that corporations are so wealthy and so powerful that they can attack, kill or pay off anyone they want.

And use electromagnetic weapons to maintain their profits and balance sheets.

China is hyper super-duped corporate. They're there partially just to launder corporate profits into political repression and clout. They're a state capitalist system dependent on trade. They adopted western styles universities and banking and corporations and consumerism and shopping malls and Keynesianism.

Anyways, what next?

We have shelters. It's a good hack.

I don't have every step of plan built up. I have just release ideas. People can add their own ideas. It's a good hack though. A really good hack.

You can do houses and mere armchairs.

You can shield a house, or shield an armchair. Or shield a bed. Or shield an apartment building (I think).

And now people can figure out how best to use these things.

The home unit, would be good just to rest in, at least.

But expanding locations where councils have many people in it. That’s might be the next thing. People have to take the initiative. And then after that maybe talking to police, regulators, politicians and telecommunications companies. Just regulate them, compel the telecommunications companies to uninstall certain pieces of hardware/software.

Maybe build a faraday shelter in a warehouse. A local politician moves in, and then he facilitates the moving of a telecommunications regulatory body into the warehouse, and some police or intelligence officers. These guys do an investigation. With interviews. Starting with victims, then scientists, then engineers, then interviewing police, then interviewing low down workers in the telco/tech industry, and then working their way up. And then these guys invite the telecommunications company executives to a meeting. Once there, compel them to provide information. And compel them to uninstall the bad hardware and software. They probably already have the legal authority.

****

Saturday, 8th August, 2026

****

My health was so poor that by 2009/2010 approximately, I couldn’t even comfortably practise guitar! And then I had to give up…

****

Are Taiwanese people ashamed to be Chinese?

No, Taiwanese people generally do not feel "ashamed" to be ethnically Chinese, but they strongly reject being politically associated with or claimed by the People's Republic of China (PRC). Most residents in Taiwan view their national identity as distinctly Taiwanese rather than Chinese, shaped by decades of separate democratic governance and cultural evolution.

How do you fuck up so hard that even other Chinese don’t want to be Chinese? And there are even Chinese who pretend to be Thai.

****

This phrase is a famous quote by investor Warren Buffett: "Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked." It means that good times hide risks, but hard times show the truth.

By the way, the system has bad fundamentals.

****

I think that there are people out there who are still swayed by narratives like this. Most people probably have been reached by good information. But for those who haven’t been reached by good information…

Learn about the history of the Industrial Revolution and the history of science first.

Then learn about the history of England, France, America, Italy, Germany, Japan, India and China.

And then learn about economics, and the history of the field of economics. And then look at the history of public health for a while, the history of architecture, housing, building design and building science. And public housing. Then look at the history of engineering. Look at the history of manufacturing. And learn about product development and design. And look at the history of sanitation briefly. And the history of trade. And accounting: the true deep magic of our society (jokes).

And then learn all about how one thing is used to represent another. Look at the use of representation in general. Learn about how social sciences are used, statistics are used, how science is used, and how accounting is used and how economics is used.

Then reassess.

I’m not giving people pre-chewed pre-processed answers. But they will develop some better understanding in general. Perhaps. I hope.

****

Love is retarded.

At least, romantic love as it is currently exhibited and experienced and managed within our society’s culture.

****

Duty is important though. And affection and kindness and tenderness.

And to love your children is important, and to care about your parents and grandparents. But to merely do your duty might be better. As for feelings, those matter too. You should feel something when you see the ones who matter in your family. You should feel a sense of comfort and relaxation when you’re with the people who you belong to. They should be a part of your nervous system’s memory, or something like that.

But love, as it is written about in PG Wodehouse novels, seen in movies like the notebook (there is no reason to be loyal to her, she’s nothing, she doesn’t deserve his love and devotion), the titanic, the count of Monte Christo movie, seen in TV shows like friends, sung about in Beatles songs (I love the Beatles), read about in Wordsworth, Jane Austen (I hate, hate, hate Jane Austen). Percy Bysshe Shelley, Poe (I like Edgar Allen Poe), Rumi (but still like him for quotes).

The romantic movement (England and Germany in the 19th century) is evil. And should be purged from our universities. Unironically, purge it. Except to study it like cancer. English literature is so evil. So much of it. French literature is awful too. It’s so bad. And Goethe sucks.

Affection for, and fondness for, and strong feelings for the people who are in your life and in your heart is a very good thing. Such as a spouse or a child or a parent. But doing your duty by them and being a good person to them is more important. And the romantic movement is cancer.

****

Paul Solt should be done for child molestation and (alleged) witness tampering. I think he has been tampering with witnesses by means of wifi.

****

Kidnapping

Under New Zealand law, kidnapping is defined in Section 209 of the Crimes Act 1961 as unlawfully taking away or detaining a person without their consent (or with consent obtained via fraud or duress) alongside specific intent. It is a serious crime carrying a maximum penalty of 14 years in prison.

Legal Elements

To secure a conviction for kidnapping in New Zealand, the prosecution must prove that the accused carried out the act with specific criteria:

* Unlawful Action: The person was taken away or detained without legal authority.

* Lack of Consent: The victim did not consent, or any apparent consent was obtained through fraud, tricks, threats, or pressure. Under Section 209A, a young person under 16 cannot legally consent to being taken away or detained.

* Required Intent: The action must have been done with one of the following intents:

* To hold the person for ransom or for service. [they wanted babies]

* To confine or imprison the person.

* To send or take the person out of New Zealand.

****

These girls were and are part of a kidnapping, torture and forced breeding gangs.

****

If you haven’t looked back at this page yet, you should.

In it you will find records of the women promising themselves to me forever. And Xi telling me that I had won. You have to scroll down. It’s hidden further below.

The game was/is over.

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2025/05/today.html

They forced me to play a “game”. And then I won. And then later I was declared victorious. And then the women said that they were mine. And now here we are.

They’re attacking me to try to make me go away.

But I won.

And that was supposed to include “the magic wand” which means a cessation of the use of “gravity cannons” that compress me down and hurt me.

This includes Sarah my “lawyer” who promised herself to me in perpetuity as a source of infinite easy sex, and so has a vested interest in escaping from this situation. By letting me get attacked again and again.

****

The question of want and thelema

They used to ask me, what do you want. Again and again.

And so let’s discuss it…

What do you want?

Not to operate according to thelema psychology.

Nor to operate according to Buddhist psychology, or theory of mind created by people highly sympathetic to meditators and the goals of meditation. Nor do I want to operate according to the theory or practises of mind or psychology or philosophy of those who think that life long meditators know what they're on about and are somehow wise and/or enlightened. Nor do I want to operate according to the theory or practises of mind or psychology or philosophy of those who think that the effects of life long meditation are good and make you into a better, wiser, happier, or more capable person.

You should view the harms done by meditation as similar to the harms of full pharaonic infibulation, as practised by the people of Sudan and nearby regions.

****

Friday, 7th August, 2026

I have no interest in having sex until I am thoroughly well and healthy and have been thoroughly well and healthy for a fair while.

I'll probably let people know when that happens (when I'm well and have been for quite a while).

****

I really, really like William Wilberforce. He along with Faraday and Rutherford is one of the people I look to for ideas on how to do things. I.e. inspiration. Amongst other things, he was one of the founders of the RSPCA, campaigned against the death penalty, campaigned in favour of prison reform, of course ended the slave trade within the British empire. He campaigned for a lot of other things including welfare for marginalised and poor groups in society, and worked to reform the poor law. But I also liked his work ethic. He was also a Christian, as so many of the best and excellent of people are and were.

Here's some more stuff about him. I didn't know all of it.

William Wilberforce considered the "reformation of manners"—18th-century code for moral conduct, virtue, and social responsibility—to be just as vital as his famous political crusade to abolish the slave trade. He believed true social reform required shifting the cultural heart of Britain by making integrity and compassion fashionable.

The Twin Goals

The Diary Vow: Following his evangelical conversion in the mid-1780s, William Wilberforce wrote that God set before him two great objects: ending the slave trade and reforming the manners of society.

Definition of Manners: In his context, "manners" meant public and private morality, targeting vices like blasphemy, excessive drinking, gambling, and cruelty, while championing charity and family fidelity.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reformation_of_Manners

***

He very nearly dodged marriage. But ended up getting married in middle age.

Likewise, Faraday almost dodged marriage (for religious reasons).

Neither of them thought it was necessary. They just wanted to do good.

The apostle Paul felt that to remain unmarried was wise. Because marriage and a wife can be a distraction from doing good. Jesus also skipped marriage.

****

Amanda was the first woman I ever slept with. And she was the only woman I slept with for 16 or 17 years or however long we were married.

****

I feel that there is this false idea put out there, especially by American universities, maybe implied without being spoken. That men need to be prepared for violence, or else they aren't real men. Which is why they are expected to play games like American football or wrestling or ice hockey. Places like Rutgers, Princeton, Yale and Harvard historically pushed these sports. Did they invent them? Stuff like American football?

And in English universities, that real men do something like rugby (Tolkein was a star rugby player, for example). Rugby was an upper class sport by the way, unlike soccer. Popular at public school (aka private school).

But I disagree.

You don't have to be prepared for violence or play hyper violent contact sports.

I think it's wise to play at least a smidge of contact sports when you're young. It's healthy. It's good! Especially for guys. But it's not compulsory. And it's really fun to play a combat sport or do a martial art, but it's not necessary or compulsory.

As for investing in martial arts or self defense training. It's wise to do a smidge, but not compulsory. Like a dozen weeks practice. And alternatively people can actually learn just a few moves from friends, family or an uncle. And practise. Especially if they're already well coordinated. But wise isn't compulsory. And you don't need to be hyper prepared for violence to be a real man, or a proper male. It's very wise to learn a few skills along the way, but it shouldn't become a preoccupation (unless you're doing it because you really, really want to, which is why I did it).

****

Thursday, 6th August, 2026

****

Perhaps I only needed enough strict political theory to sort out the engineering side of things. It's also kind of like I also used economics and religion for political theory too.

****

Natural Philosophy

Google:

Natural philosophy is the historic study of nature and the physical universe. Before the 19th century, it was the main term for what we now call natural science, including physics, biology, and astronomy.

Key Concepts and History

Ancient Roots: Thinkers like Aristotle used logic and observation to explain the physical world without magic or gods.

Wikipedia

Natural philosophy, philosophy of nature (from Latin philosophia naturalis), or experimental philosophy, until the late modern period, was the systematic and research-based study of nature and the physical universe, while ignoring any supernatural influence. Used since at least Aristotle (classical antiquity) until the 19th century, the term natural philosophy referred to a branch of philosophy—a broader term then, meaning all rational fields of study and contemplation—that explored topics now considered to fall under the purview of science, such as physics, biology, chemistry, and astronomy. Thus, natural philosophy served as the precursor to, and has been mostly supplanted by, modern science.

****

I tried to just...

Observe things, and use "understanding" in a general sense, rather than labelling everything and trying to make sense of it using the labels. I tried to understand the essence of it by looking at the "unlabelled void" to borrow a term from Laozi, and that's how I tried to understand the quantum-radio-wave stuff so that I could engineer this.

The trick is to have enough understanding to get things to work, not to have enough understanding to explain it. This was part of my overall philosophy on science.

I also knew from faraday, that different language and different terminology can be used to describe the same phenomena. And so I also found that by changing terminology, you can see it differently. So I used terms like aether and susurration. "Believing" in the aether helped me to understand how quantum-radio-wave-electromagnetic effects work and can be disrupted. Aether means that you pretend that there is substance that the waves travel through, as opposed to that it's mere empty space.

That's all for now. Please assume that I thought about more things that I explained.

Natural Philosophy, it was a term I used in the past. I wanted to be a bit of a "natural philosopher". All smart and interesting people want to use their own words and custom built terminology.

Philosophy: I had to used my own methods of thinking to do the stuff I did. And philosophy helped me to understand the difference between "understanding" and labelling/describing/explaining.

Ps: I often downplay what I do. A lot of this bleeds into scientific method stuff, mathematics, computer science, engineering, sociology, design principles of video games, psychology and design in general.

****

I have got to go to sleep.

****

I look upon the goals and effects of long term Buddhist meditation (vipassana, dzogchen and zen) with the same sort of horror I look upon Sudanese genital mutilation.

And fwiw, I respect the rights of other people groups to live the way they want to live. But I think that Sudanese genital mutilation is just too much (it's full insinuation!).

****

I held my father in high esteem as a child and as a teenager. And I loved my father as a child and as a teenager.

Things changed a bit at age fifteen when I discovered that he was with Tomoe Takahashi. But I still liked my father and trusted him and thought he was on my side and that he cared about me.

My father and I were close when I was a child. He was my favourite parent. I spent as much time with him as I could.

****

Some people might say, if women are forced to have sex with a bunch of random and/or gross men and to be generic providers of commodity sex, then maybe makes sense that they might try to claim equality with men. At least in status.

I wouldn't say it though.

I would say, why not be single and celibate for life, so as to avoid distractions as you serve the interests of those who aren't doing so well but are actually really important (especially those suffering from poverty or oppression)?

Or why not focus simply on doing as much as good as possible. Because if you're trying to outdo other people in doing good, then maybe status matters less than otherwise. But still make sure to get educated and to value both lifelong learning and being a lifelong reader, because that matters a lot.

Then maybe the things you're focusing on matter a lot less than you thought they did.

I really need to get back to writing my main story and stuff.

****

Ahahaha

Women are people not pawns.

They’re not commodities, and probably should be bought and sold as though they are.

They’re not a prize to be won, a bargaining chip. They’re people.

A woman is not a cookie, a beer, a biscuit or a coffee. Those are the labels they used. They’re people.

I don’t like their system

****

Header and footers

Are people aware that I do "headers and footers" for what I say, for example, I say, "this statement is not for public consumption, I'm just talking to myself. I'm just doing a silly scenario in my head. To work something through." Or "this next conversation is pretend, and made up, and deliberately metaphorical" and it is representative, not literal.

I do this all the time. For years.

****

Wednesday, 5th August 2026

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What motivates me?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DbX-HWwTHzF/?igsh=MXdxZGMyY2psd2hidw==

Ummm. Stuff like this^

You shouldn’t fear for your life for holding on to food to eat later. I don’t like people using food as a tool of repression for example. And I don’t like people using work as a tool of repression either.

Cambodian genocide, Hitler’s death camps, Mao’s death toll, Bengal’s famine, Ireland’s famine, Stalin’s death toll, Soviet bloc death toll related to farm collectivisation, Ukraine, Kazakhstan, the red terror, Romania under Ceausescu, Masada, the mass slaughter (murder) of the Christians in the Taiping Christian Independence movement in China in the 19th century (20-30 million dead). Belgium in the Congo, Rwanda, Uganda, the reign of terror in the French Revolution, Ethiopia and the Derg’s manmade communist famine. Stuff like that.

Those are some motivating factors.

By the way, I don’t like totalitarianism (whether left or right). Because it tends not to go well. It often creates the conditions for mass murder. Ummm. Not always, but a particular kind of “planned and managed society” type of totalitarianism often has that effect.

But all of the people who have followed me and my life story since i was 20, or even 28 or 32. They knew this about me. They knew that I was an anti-totalitarian, and anti-communist, and opposed to fascism. For example, ever since I read about the cultural revolution and great famine in 2008, I have dreamed of stopping it, or something like it.

I also don’t like the East India Trading Company.

(Perhaps one of the reasons is that people under totalitarianism conditions are often not allowed to solve their own problems in sensible ways. But that is only one of the reasons.)

(Social democracy or libertarianism, or capitalism, or a sensible republic where people are free, or a constitutional monarchy, or a good kingdom with a good ruler [and fantastic advisors] are all better than the horrible things we look at above like communism or fascism or whatever).

[Note: Belgium in the Congo [they’re horrible people when it comes to social planning - never let a Frenchman plan a society outside of his own! Vietnam was their fault too. The French are cool, and they have nice food! But sometimes they really suck. Control freaks! So arrogant! So haughty! Belgians are just Frenchmen. By the way, doesn’t Belgium run ahem, the EU? Or they’re the seat of it. Digression: good people can be found in places like Switzerland and the Netherlands. Bad people come from Austria and Belgium.]

[Note 2: From the sign above Dachau "Arbeit macht frei: Work makes one free". I don’t like work as a tool of repression. Workhouse in England too. There’s something pernicious about work as a tool of repression, especially when combined with policies that relates to one’s access to food. And in situations where you don’t have access to land, or enough of it, because you have been dispossessed. See also: the ongoing dispossession of the Chinese people by the Xi regime, and the Chinese’ attitude to work, and the way they treat young overqualified male service workers who have the wrong opinions and see Xi’s so called PhD. It’s a doctoral thesis on how to drive the Chinese people off of the land so that they can be more readily controlled and the farmland can be controlled by corporations and professionals.]

[Note 3: you should read about Bengal’s famine. Churchill plainly took their food, and denied them the ability to import it, and insisted that they labour for food, sell their land, and sometimes go into famine camps to get food. I’m not perfect on all of the details, but it was a man made crisis. And could be considered genocide by deliberate (and perhaps malicious) neglect and weaponised incompetence and the weaponisation of economic policy. Don’t forget that I trained in economics! And studied it outside of class too. I had my nose to the grind stone even when I was too sick to attend university. Economic policy is a weapon, and a very important one. Libertarians seek to disarm the wicked, social democrats try to tame it and use it for good, totalitarians wield it to wound, maim and kill those who are inconvenient]. - Digression: Churchill also suicided a lot of New Zealand’s best people at Gallipoli in WW1 on an obviously pointless campaign. Possibly that was malicious too. And then right after the war we lost a ton of young military aged men at Trentham to the “flu” aka induced deaths associated with the “Spanish Flu”, which was just a psyops campaign. Which was obviously murder by “the system” (or murder by system oriented public health officials and other “system creatures” who desired a world governed by planner and managers - aka scientific socialists).

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Stalin suicided tons of Russian men by marching them to their deaths on purpose in WW2. I reckon he just wanted them to die. In many cases. And the soldiers who surrendered or got captured, and stayed in POW camps. Many of them got chucked in the gulag system and died. And Hitler killed tons of Soviet prisoners of war. I think they had almost some sort of pact to kill a ton of one another’s guy. Or just an implicit understanding. Or they just used one another. But this is something I do not fully understand. This area of problems.

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Another motivating factor is that I don’t like the idea of the education system or the system itself dumbing people down. Back in 2008, I thought that the system was dumbing people down and that the education system was dumbing people down. And I think that’s horrible. There is a book with the title “dumbing us down”. And I love that title. I don’t want the system to be “dumbing people down”.

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I can't even shower. I don't know why they're asking me to shower and sleep with women.

****

Looking at the actual conversations…

I made qualifying statements to these wretched creatures again and again. Plainly and clearly.

I told these people multiple times ages ago that I believe these games to be entirely arbitrary. And that I stand by nothing I say in these arbitrary and asinine sex games. And will not view myself as accountable to them for anything said in these games.

I told them that I won’t stand by anything I say as a part of sex games.

I said it multiple times and made it clear.

And I told them that I was being coerced into playing these games and that I didn't want to be playing them.

I made it clear that I was being both threatened and physically attacked in order to induce me to play them.

It was also made clear to me that I was not going to have my health restored to me if I didn't play and win these games.

And so I told them that the only thing I wanted was to have my health back.

And that I have no interest whatsoever in any of these women and I'd toss them out straight away.

And they told me that to get the "magic wand" and therefore my health back, that I had to win the whole shebang. And sleep with women.

And to sleep with them I had to express desire for them.

And so I did.

But before I did, I would tell them phrases like, "I don't actually want to sleep with any of you. I want to be released from these games, I want to be left alone. I don't want sex with any of you. And I don't want any of you. I just want my health back. And I'm only playing these games out of obligation. I don't want you, holistically. But because I am obliged to "want you", I will recognise that I am able to imagine being at least a tiny bit physically capable of physical biological interest if I were well. That way I'm not lying if I say that I "want" you. But really I just want my health back, and I don't want you as people.

I would say things like that before I told them that I want them.

I would say lots of things like that.

And only the "I want you, and this is what I want to do" part would be told to the public". Not the long preamble.

This was from a couple of years ago. Early in the games.

Also I told them that due to my health, I actually didn't really want sex. I just wanted to be left alone.

They also were the ones insinuating themselves into my life. I told them again and again so many times that I didn’t want them. But they pushed themselves into my life, and attacked me until I said I wanted them.

They acted like they were handing out an infinite supply of free sex.

Finally, I made it clear to them that they were just prostitutes plying their trade and aren’t as special as they think they are and it’s just a marketable service. It’s not that special and sacred. They’re just prostitutes. You can buy it legally in nz. It’s just sex. I’ve done that before… it’s nice but it’s not the only think in like that’s nice!?

***

Other:

I told them that I don’t stand by anything I say in these sex games because I don’t want to be a part of them and I don’t actually want the women. And so my integrity is fully in tact. Even if they claim I haven’t been consistent.

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Tuesday, 4th of August, 2026

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No citizen of the People's Republic of China (PRC) has won a Nobel Prize in Physics.

1.4 billion people

Chinese scholars first learned about Western science in 1582, when the Italian Jesuit missionary Matteo Ricci arrived in China and introduced European mathematics, astronomy, and geography to the Ming dynasty court.

They have been aware of western science for 440 years and not one prize in physics.

Now… the Nobel prize in Physics is merely indicative. But it is actually a fairly good indicator in a rough sort of way.

Ps: I got my history and much of my knowledge of China from this guy’s lecture series:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_C._Kirby

https://asiasociety.org/blog/asia/review-harvards-online-china-lectures-useful-overview

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Speaking of people I saw

Also saw two counsellors in about 2016/2017.

I saw a Christian counsellor in 2016. His name was Derek Borland.

I saw a secular therapist. Who I think may have been a little bit religious. But I don’t know! I’m sorry, I can’t remember. She didn’t seem to be terribly anti religious. Her name was Jane Webley.

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This is my email from Derek. I think I saw him either two or three times.

Hi David

Nice to meet you yesterday and to hear some of your story

You are wanting to learn some tools for managing your mind. I have attached a doc you might be interested in, which may help give you some reassurance of the benefit of some of the strategies you are currently employing to manage thoughts. Also great that you are aware of the link between diet and nutrition, and using sauerkraut for gut health. If you are interested you might like to take this further with Shelley, who I have respect for: https://www.shelleygawith.com/

As I said, I would recommend that you consider making contact with Sarah Field http://www.monarchlife.co.nz/about-sarah-field/ although you say you are not keen to do so. While you have done some research on the Lightning Process, it would seem wise to explore this further, since you have been suffering largely without relief for so many years.

Because you are interested in trying to live in the present, I wondered if you would like this book: http://www.bookdepository.com/The-Power-of-Now-Eckhart-Tolle/9781577314806?ref=grid-view. While it comes from a broader spiritual perspective that the Christian view, it has powerful insights which might be useful.

We have set up a skype appt for a follow up, at 4.00 pm on Monday 16th January. My skype is derek.borland1, and I will expect to hear from you then.

Best regards

Derek

COUNSELLOR AND CHILD THERAPIST

B. Couns.; MNZCCA (Executive member - PR portfolio); MNZAC (Provisional); ACC approved

P.O. Box 64

Paekakariki 5258

E: derekborland55@gmail.com

M: 021 654 339

www.borlandcounselling.com

He also attached a pdf.

He was a Christian.

I saw him in late 2016 and early 2017.

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Jane Webley I saw in 2017. We started early in 2017 and kept talking until late in 2017. On and off. The whole year. The final conversation, the horrible bad thing had happened.

I'll put it into my full life story later. 2017 was my year of counselling. And also trying to do t'ai chi but also feldenkrais. And also the torso integrity thing happened.

Uhhhh. When it came to seeing Derek Borland. I actually struggled to get up and down the stairs again when I showed up with Amanda. He wasn't very helpful. I was actually struggling with stairs by that point in my life. And I couldn't understand why.

There is plenty more to talk about, but not right now.

I’ll add in an email from Webley:

7th, March, 2017

Hi David,

I'm so sorry, I seemed to have missed this email from you. My apologies.

I could do next Tuesday the 14th at 2.00, if that suited.

The price would be $70.00.

I look forward to hearing from you David, and getting to know you better.

Your wife has explained that you are having to manage chronic fatigue,

which I know is hugely debilitating.

Best regards,

Jayne

****

Random misc information

But I was top of senior mathematics and also top of senior information science at high school. Ps: information science was a subject for seventh formers, but a bunch of us took it in 6th form.

Information science is an interdisciplinary academic field that studies how people, organizations, and systems create, collect, organize, store, retrieve, and use information. It blends aspects of computer science, library science, psychology, and social sciences to make data findable, useful, and secure.

Information science (abbreviated as infosci) is an academic field that is primarily concerned with the analysis, collection, classification, manipulation, storage, retrieval, movement, dissemination, and protection of information. Practitioners within and outside the field engage in the study of knowledge application and usage in organizations. Additionally, they examine the interaction between people, organizations, and any existing information systems. The objective of this study is to create, replace, improve, or understand the information systems.

Information science is the study of how information is created, organized, managed, stored, retrieved, and used. It is an interdisciplinary field.

And so we talked about data, information and knowledge. Amongst other things. As well as the history of computers.

It was just a high school class! But I was top of it. And maybe that helps with the silly computer and wifi people (CCP+lesbians).

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What makes us human?

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/08/humans-of-monkeys.html

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I relisted this page.

How did I get this way pt 1

It’s necessary, even if the page itself needs a total rewrite. But instead of rewriting it. I’m trying to just write my whole story over.

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Off the cuff

This is just an off the cuff remark. I don't stand by it, not fully. Especially because I don't like the definition I gave so far for the word opinion. But it'll do.

An opinion is a personal view, judgment, or belief about a topic that is not fully proven or based on absolute certainty. It reflects how someone feels or thinks about a subject rather than an objective fact.

Very often the opinion of an educated and learned man, from a society with a great deal of wisdom and knowledge is more useful in many circumstances than a misused fact. Or incompetently wielded "facts".

A lot of it comes down to the use of your own judgement.

And it's not that facts aren't useful. Or don't exist. It's just that you need to know what to use and when to use it.

And besides, you've never even shown up for the conversation in the first place!!

How do you tell the difference? Ummm. _You_ don't.

But I can use opinions when I want to, and facts when I want to. I'm an educated man, and actually fairly bright. And many of your guys are deliberately daft.

But anyways you might start learning about information science: data, information, knowledge

And then learn about the following: facts, opinions, data, information, knowledge, understanding, wisdom, the uses of one's own judgement etc. How to categorise things using one's own judgement for further analysis.

And learn about: statistics, the social sciences, investment forecasting and analysis, economics, the scientific method, the history of science and engineering, the history of medicine (and definitions therein), and learn about APA and Chicago style referencing and a few other things like education and law and crime and policing. And a little philosophy and religion too. And psychology. And grammar and computer programming and computer science. And science itself, especially physics.

And then you will be smarter and understand things much better.

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Here is one joke that helps people to understand that facts aren't always useful.

The Classic Lost Balloonist Joke

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced his altitude and spotted a person standing in a field below. He descended a bit more and shouted:"Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am. "The person below provided precise, but useless, geographical coordinates.

The balloonist noted, "You must be an engineer," to which the person agreed, asking how he knew.The balloonist explained that while the information was technically correct, it didn't help him.

The person below retorted, "And you must be in management," explaining that the balloonist didn't know where he was going, used "hot air" to rise, made promises he couldn't keep, and blamed others for his problems.

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Monday, 3rd August, 2026

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Instead of the words:

"Destroy the system" maybe try the words...

"America is run by corporations, banks and big business and this has a negative effect on the rest of the world. Disempower the corporations of America that control and corrupt it, so that the corporate and financial systems that control America don't control it, and instead the people of America control it.”

Do this so that the democratic nations of the world can be self governing and democratic again. And can also restore rule of law. Self governance is the thing, I think. Especially in nations like those in the commonwealth (even the non-democratic nations like Brunei and Lesotho; but mostly nations like Australia, New Zealand, Canada, UK, India, Malaysia and many more). And other democratic nations such as Ireland, France, Spain and the Netherlands. We need to change the regime in the USA and reform/improve it so that we can have better democracies and better self governance and regain rule of law. That's a better way of describing it than calling it "destroying the system". And that's actually what I meant by destroying the system.

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Ramble/post

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/08/ramble-revsoceng-plan.html

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In hindsight, I needed to explain reverse social engineering earlier.

And then back then I should have just said that I don’t want to do it (for fear of causing collateral damage). That’s how I felt at the time (not now).

ZzzZzz. Then people could have helped me!

****

These people constantly misrepresent me.

And pretend not to understand me.

And one of the things the misrepresent and misunderstand most is what the biggest issue is for me.

It's the physical harm done to me, and wanting to get my health back. I just want them to stop attacking or harming me. And also to return my health to me.

And to not maintain my torso in this way. Crunched down.

It's really about this thing I have labelled "torso integrity compromised". That's the biggest issue.

They cause it, and maintain it. And the biggest thing I want from these people is for them to stop using these tools on my body, and to restore me to health.

That's the big issues.

But what they want to do is have me obey commands from these lunatic lesbians. And to have "torso integrity compromised" used as a form of ongoing torment. With additional pain and suffering on top.

That is not acceptable to me.

I understand that inside their minds they have other ideas about how things are supposed work. But I just don't think that their ideas make sense overall.

And with no prospect of a either a cessation of harm to my body physically, not restoring me to health, I just don't see any reason to cooperate with them at all. There is no upside.

I understand that within their minds (the Chinese/lesbian/nz set) they have other pictures and thoughts about reality. But I wonder if their interpretation of reality might be faulty.

****

A lot of it comes down to abstract thinking. And getting better at it.

You can in fact train your mind!

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A lot of it comes down to language. And speaking a high quality language. And reading and writing in it. And hearing it spoken. Until it becomes a part of you. And becomes permanently present in your mind.

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A natural philosopher is a historical term for a scientist. Before the word "scientist" was created in 1833, people who studied nature, physics, astronomy, and chemistry used logic, reasoning, and observation to understand the physical universe.

****

At one point:

I actually told these people that because of the suffering that i experienced. And the extreme horrors experienced in my life. Especially 2017-2022, but also 2012-2017 (late 2006 - 2012 weren't so great either). That none of the women I met before 2022 were acceptable to me. I wanted a whole new set. But they wouldn't listen.

They just didn't care. They don't pay attention. They don't care about the fundamental underlying realities of the situation. They don't pay attention. And they just plough forwards in a pigheaded stiff-necked manner. It's daft.

This segment is here just for information.

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Wisdom and understanding in the area of trying to solve problems using physical goods and physical sciences and in the physical build environment. And also to achieve political, social or economic goals. And to perhaps make changes happen in the structure of civilisation. That is what I worked towards.

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I got misled a little bit by my grandfather in his obituary book.

He posted pictures of me that weren't flattering as a child. Or pictures to make me look derpy.

I think that he did this on purpose, to mislead people. He was deeply involved in this whole situation.

But that is perhaps a story for another day. And one that may perhaps never be told.

Indirectly, I think that he misled a lot of people.

****

"It's the cell towers, that's why you're ill. That's the cause. They attack your body directly."

That’s all someone had to say to me to help me from 2007-2017.

And now I will get back to writing my story.

****

Sunday, 2nd August, 2026

Lee Kuan Yew is the best leader that the Chinese have had in the modern era, or perhaps in any era. Most of them are useless or bad. And he didn't even speak Chinese until he was 32.

And Singapore succeeded only because English became the language of education and business.

Languages such as French, German, English, Spanish, Italian and Japanese seem help you to get smarter. The language of Chinese doesn’t seem to help quite as much.

Literacy by the way supercharges your mind. It changes you (source: trust me). I read about the history of it and also adult illiteracy (but that was a long time ago).

Without the English language, or French, German, Italian, Spanish, Swedish, Arabic, or even Japanese, to speak, read, write and use for thinking, I think that the cognitive development of the mainland Chinese was retarded quite a bit. It slowed them down.

Anyway, here is the blurb.

Keeping My Mandarin Alive: Lee Kuan Yew's Language Learning Experience - Chee Lay Chua

Learn Mandarin while you brush your teeth or shave? Read how Singapore's Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew does it!A Prime Minister as an interpreter? Find out when and why MM Lee had to do it.For the first time, this towering figure of the island-state's politics gives a first-hand account of How he has learnt Mandarin over the last 50 years and kept it alive. He also tells When and Why he decided to learn the language, Where he got hold of the learning materials from, Whom he practises his Mandarin with and What spurs him on.MM Lee goes beyond these 5Ws and 1H in Keeping My Mandarin Alive, to share the agony of a mature Chinese language student and how he has overcome the difficulties -- he strove to learn Mandarin only at age 32 (from 1955) and Hokkien at age 38 (from 1961).The comprehensive package also details how the English-educated MM Lee has been relating Mandarin to his master language in an effort to grasp the former and unravels how the latest technology has helped him in his quest.Edited by Dr Chua Chee Lay, one of MM Lee's Chinese tutors, Keeping My Mandarin Alive.

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A page about seeing the elders, to talk to them about my health and ask them to pray for me.

It’s not really ready, but oh well.

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/08/photo-dump.htm

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https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/08/french-communist-headquarters.html

****

Before I got attacked and crippled and stuff by the Chinese, I was more worried about America and American corporations than the CCP. But that was before 2022. Before everything happened all of a sudden like crazy.

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I’m clouding my mind on purpose. So that it’s harder for people to understand or read it. I do this often.

Often I just clog it. I clog it up with lighthearted silly stuff to confuse people. And to protect it.

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End goals of reverse social engineering

The end goal is supposed to be a self governing nation, usually democratic but not always (for example Brunei). It is supposed to be a society that is founded and governed for the common good. And serves the interests of the common good of the nation. But also is happy to work for the good of the common people of other self governing nations if they govern their society for the sake of the common good. And the end goal is also a nation that is happy to associate closely with other self-governing nations (the commonwealth is an example of such an association).

I also felt that the nation should have a high level of democratic control over what their culture should be: including in terms of education, morality, manners, justice, religion, relationships and child rearing. That was a personal preference. We do our own "social engineering" that is of the people and form the people. Sometimes by setting standards in writing (such as a principles based cultural constitution, but that isn't statute, written by referendum) and sometimes by just direct citizens referendum that creates law directly (for example, reinstating section 59 - and thus decriminalising corporal punishment in NZ, again).

I also came up with ideas about personnel management. Where we maintain our democratic commonwealth by means of choosing who can be our teachers, academics, professors, doctors, lawyers and accountants. And other forms of managing who has power. And same for the civil service. This includes swingers licensing for the sake of pushing them out of teaching, governance, administration and religious roles. And this idea also includes democratic labelling and democratic banishment and management powers. To push bad eggs out of town or otherwise deal with them democratically.

Now not all ideas have to be used.

It's not a one stop shop for ideology and change.

The idea was to create an intervention (enter into the space where an intervention can be created) and then once you intervene, let people figure it out democratically what needs to be done. That could be faraday tech, furniture in the suburbs, real estate development in apartment buildings, hotels and then sheltering leadership, but also sheltering police, regulators and bureaucrats. And building premises for telco companies. And then getting the A.I. disconnected and uninstalled from cell towers using the authority of police, courts, judges and politicians. And then to begins proceedings against international infrastructure companies (such as SpaceX, but also things like EU telcos) to get it switched off. Note: don't forget that politicians are law makers. The word "legislature" exists. And that a lot of this stuff is the responsibility of police, regulators, judges, lawyers, journalists, academics/intellectuals, engineers, scientists and various private citizens (especially those with specific expertise and clout) and domestic intelligence officers (in NZ such as NZSIS and GCSB).

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**********

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A commonwealth is a political community founded for the common good, an independent country or state governed by its people, or an international association of self-governing nations.

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Reverse social engineering:

"Break the system"

No, break the oppressive American corporate hegemony that prevents democracy around the world from flourishing. Break that system of control. And do it in a way that's good for the normal people, the common people. Disarm it, and then the people can govern themselves as democracies.

"Re-democratise societies that are supposed to be democratic but aren't because of horrible corporations and other big players (big business, big banks, big tech, big bureaucracies, university sector, education sector, massive political parties like the CCP, military-industrial complex of the USA, the CIA, NSA)" that was what I wrote it to do. I'm just explaining: it wasn't just "break the system rawr!!?!!!".

I am often misrepresented.

But I was crippled horribly and it was just a pastime I had to keep myself sane! A passion project!! I actually wanted to get my health back and to become a scientist/engineer!!

****

If you’re interested in the history of England, and the commonwealth. Here is a good lecture.

https://oyc.yale.edu/history/hist-251/lecture-2

The whole series is good.

Ps: England and the commonwealth are better than America (splitters). Especially Australia, Canada and New Zealand haha.

America had elitism built into it from the very start. It is also very anti-egalitarian. The commonwealth is better. They wanted a new Rome. But England (and the Anglo-Scots parts of the former British empire) had Christianity baked into it for ages. We didn’t want a new Rome. Rome was defeated by the Christians and transformed. Just look the name by the way, the commonwealth, the “common” “wealth”. Wealth and common. Different people in society, with different stations. But in a community type of way, the wealth should be used for the common good. And used in common, sort of!? I mean, there are ideals: but don’t over think it yet!? Like… the lord might own the land back in the day. But he has to let the serfs use it. They have rights to use it. And they have to give him stuff from it. They have land use rights. The common people have land use rights, and yes they have to pay some stuff in labour and customs to the local lord, but their land is guaranteed. It cannot be stolen through debt and usury. So much farm land is stolen that way. But anyway, it is soooooooooo much better than the Roman system of land ownership where people couldn’t even get work as a day labourer. And might not get paid at the end of the day!!!!! Not the full wage. And men are obliged by religious and I think civil law to support their wives and children. Rome was a totally different beast. Make no mistake about it, Christian Europe was a reaction against the horrible world of Ancient Rome. So many people don’t understand the transition from pagan Rome to Christian Rome to medieval Europe. And they don’t understand the transition from early modern England to the Industrial Revolution, and the development of science. They understand not very much. Not very much at all. I’m not saying “bring back medieval values” I’m just saying that education is really affordable, and you can just educate yourself on history if you so desire. It might help you to develop some genuine and actual understanding if you study lectures like these.

Action point for education: just learn history. It’s free! All it costs is time, attention and genuine effort.

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Saturday, 1st August, 2026

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I basically got crippled and kept crippled so that Amanda could try for a baby. I still have yet to tell this story. That's the gist of it, but it really, really needs to be fleshed out.

She had wanted a baby for ages, I held out because I didn't think we could take care of a child.

And I secretly thought that she wasn't good enough to be a mother, and that she was mentally ill or something. [Psychologically disturbed due to being molested as a child?]

She nagged and nagged and nagged. Saying, I want a baby!

And then I got crippled, but I didn't know why. And then she wanted to have a baby anyway!? I didn't know why I was crippled. And then she insisted on resuming sex, which was horrific. Because I couldn't move properly. I couldn't function at a normal person in general. At all. And I couldn't shower.

But she insisted on sex, "I don't feel loved without sex". And also, I want to have a baby! And so she insisted on having sex often. But turned out to be infertile.

As to why I didn't go to the hospital, it is because on previous occasions when I had sought medical assistance (at my mother's insistence) they had actually made me much worse. They treated me as though I was suffering from psychiatric illness, and prescribed multiple psychiatric medications. Which caused me terrible problems. Massive problems!! And then I got referred to mental health. They basically tried to get me into the mental health system. This happened in about 2013. I was actually very badly harmed physically for years before that. For seven years. From 2008 to 2013. I haven't written about it yet. It's on its way. Still working on to.

Also, my father had implied that he wanted to get mental health services involved. And also he had many times suggested that it was psychosomatic.

Anyways, I figured that doctors would and up harming me much worse. And so I avoided going to the doctors. The crippling thing was way, way, way worse than you or many people know. It's way worse.

I had to learn to walk even halfway capably. I had to learn to lift from my neck to even get my feet off of the ground in a normal fashion.

Anyway, she insisted on trying for a baby.

Even though she was infertile. Anyway, she gets tests from the fertility clinic, they find problems and fix them (ovarian adhesion). And they test my sperm. To figure out what was wrong (my sperm was fine). And I guess they used this sperm to create an IVF baby.

I couldn't trust my family. Because I thought they would force me to go to hospital, because going to the hospital I thought would kill me.

By the way, during the period of time, those five years I mean from 2012 to 2017, I spoke to mum and Matthew a fair bit, and asked them both for advice. I also had dad and Matthew over once for burgers. And had mum and her side of the family over a bit. And grandma and grandpa at least once. And also had Aunty Wendy and/or Nana to visit once or twice.

So I didn't speak to them or see them.

I needed to figure this out for myself.

Anyways I'll tell the full story later.

Btw, These people claim that I wasn't crippled or something. Just "deconditioned". But in actual fact, I was crippled very badly for many years. I was actually there!

Their words are utterly without merit. And don't need to be responded to. For example, the claim that I was "just deconditioned". Umm. No. Rejected. Ummmm. The way to understand this is just to tell the story. Not to frame things according to their manner of speech and conduct. Not in their frame of reference. This is because they actually are dunderheads, and their words are actually without merit. I judge it to be so, based on long association, personal experience and study of their type in history.

But anyways I was crippled.

And having sex.

And I didn’t know why I was crippled.

But Amanda wanted a baby and therefore to have sex.

And anybody could have told me why I had been sick prior to that. My doctors, physios, mother, father, brother, friends, pastors, elders, councillors, in-laws and a few others.

Full story to follow. I'm only up to 2011 in my story!

This is a really messy take on things.

By the way, these people have a largely fictional account of things.

I’d best get writing soon!

****

Maximum Penalties and Sentences

Life Imprisonment: The absolute maximum sentence. A judge sets a minimum non-parole period (usually at least 10 years, but it can be much longer, such as 30+ years), or orders life without parole for extreme mass murder or terrorism.

20 Years in Prison: Applied to specific high-harm crimes like trafficking in persons by coercion or deception under section 98D of the Crimes Act.

14 Years in Prison: The standard maximum for major violent and property crimes like kidnapping, aggravated burglary, and sexual violation.

Preventive Detention: An indefinite sentence with a minimum of 5 years given to repeat sexual or violent offenders to protect the public.

I feel that the whole politburo should be sentenced to 20 years in jail merely for offences against me. And the same is true for Mrs Jacinda "your treatment was state sanctioned" Ardern and Grant "torture you to cover it up" Robertson. And Brynn "I have had one of your babies" and want four more. Siobhan "the stalker" Theresa as well. Paul "the (Chinese) child molester" Solt and Matthew Solt too.

****

These lunatics are trying to claim that I’m on “team skank shaggers” since I was 18. But I’m actually a guy who was a fundamentalist, evangelical Christian and who got married to someone from a troubled background who had converted to Christianity.

They’re just silly horrible people who just talk rubbish.

****

I’m still hoping for a cessation of conflict.

I am possibly hoping to get safe from a lot of this by putting up some shelves of cans.

The main thing I need is some safety. So that I can recover. But also I’m pretty badly hurt.

****

A lot of this technology would protect good and normal people from being attacked. They are suffering from direct attack. And if we can shelter normal people from direct attack. Then that is good too.

It's about protecting the good normal people of the world from horrible crazy people who just plain want to hurt them. It's about protecting good and decent and normal people from totalitarians who are going psycho at one another and at the people. Powerful and insane people are always going berserk at one another, but why should the normals have to suffer?

****

What is respect?

Respect is a positive feeling, high regard, or polite action shown toward someone or something important. It means valuing others, listening to their needs, and treating people with care and kindness.

How does this apply to the CCP led Chinese?

Positive feeling?

High regard?

Polite action?

Valuing them?

Listening to their needs?

Treating people with care and kindness?

This could perhaps be an open conversation?

****

Friday, 31st July, 2026

****

Trafficked, prostituted women aren't a prize.

Or if you prefer:

Coerced, prostituted women aren't a prize.

They're something to be ashamed of, saddened by and appalled by. They're something to feel guilty about!! Winning them isn't a good thing!! That's one of the reason I kept trying to opt out in the last!!

Update:

Or if you prefer: coerced sex workers aren’t a prize to me.

It’s just sad.

I see them as the equivalent of women trafficked into the sex industry as prostitutes. Yes, some are complicit, and some more than others, but that’s not the main or most important point.

I have had this conversation with you guys so much.

****

Extra post:

I’m sorry, but the explanation I gave in “how I got this way part two” and torso integrity compromised is the best I can do. I can’t calling it better. By the way, the thing that happened, and the two years from mate 2017 to late 2019 were so disturbing and traumatic that I lost memory. It’s just like my mind didn’t keep receipts of what happened. Physically traumatic. I think that there is a massive link between posture, the body, the structure of the body, the nervous system, and your mind and memory. It’s disturbing. I couldn’t even think about it without feeling disturbed and freaked out. You can’t even observe it somehow. Your mind just skips off of it. I can look at it now, observe it. But anyway, that’s all for now.

****

First post:

Living with torso integrity compromised was hell. With my body like this.

It's horrible. You have to do so much to even navigate the house and walk around. I can't explain how bad it was for the years 2017 to 2022. And I was crippled for 7 years the first time. Now I'm like this again for a year and three months.

They're not willing to offer to return my health back to me.

Which means they have no bargaining chips.

I'm not willing to cooperate with people who use this as a tool on me. It's too horrible. They actually want to use this thing as a tool to control me. "Torso integrity compromised" with further torment and suffering using my own muscles.

This is the main issue for me.

My reasoning:

It actually causes so much suffering, and is actually so horrible that I’m just not willing to entertain the possibility of cooperation of any kind. Which is why people need to adjust their expectations.

They will probably treat it as a battle of wills. But it isn’t. Think the logic through though. If it is actually as horrible as I say it is. And they actually want to keep me this way, then why should I cooperate with anything? There’s no incentive.

I really, really want to get my health back.

****

By the way, these people want me to sleep with Brynn so that I can’t seek justice when it comes to Lily, I can’t successfully sue Fertility Associates, and I can’t get custody.

Fertility Associates could be a multi million dollar settlement. It could be big. Plus custody, plus a protection order against Amanda and Brynn, if not prison time for both of them, it’s a while new life for me.

****

I have been working on becoming more creative ever since I was about 7 years old. I heard about "ideas books" and "brainstorming" and how practising those things can help you to become become more creative and inventive.

And I have also been practising abstract thinking since I was a young child. That is, I have been thinking about thinking. And practising abstract thinking.

Abstract thinking is cure important.

****

I think that maybe 50% of the women available in this system were basically trafficked into it, many of them were groomed into as teenagers, and they were prostituted against their will.

I don't like this system.

And many of the other women do it semi-voluntarily, but not fully voluntarily. Like 30% maybe.

They sort of have political motivations. Which are horrible motivations for horrible goals that will lead to misery for everyone.

And then some do it because they love being evil. They luuuuuurve evil. And they have political goals and aims.

I don't like these ones, because they're so morally reprehensible (like a capo in a Nazi camp and I'm a Jew or a Pole haha). And I'm just not that attractive to people this horrible. Not withstanding what you "read" from my mind late in the evenings.

Anyway, I don't like trafficking of women into the sex trade!!!!!

It's an issue that I have passionate about since I was a teenager!!

I don't think that women should be forced into prostitution!!

And I think that these women are being prostituted!!

It's dressed up in other words!!

But it's forced prostitution, trafficking and it started when they are teenagers!!

It's horrible!!

https://www.ijm.org

Here is an example of the sorts of things I have been passionate about since I was young. I don't like the whole trafficking and prostitution thing.

Which is why when they ask me, "do you want the women" I very often have answered no.

And besides, the evil women are traffickers and prostitutes at the same time.

I don’t see much difference between NZ pimps and traffickers and rural pimps and traffickers in India or Thailand.

Can you not see why I kept complaining about being forced to be included in something so horrible and unethical!!!?? And this is only one of the issues I was concerned about.

****

Thursday, 30th July, 2026

Back in 2022, these people should have treated me like someone just rescued from Josef Mengele's laboratory in a concentration camp. They should have treated me as a survivor of (meritless) scientific experimentation or equivalent. They should have rescued me?! This is because of the thing I have labelled "torso integrity compromised". I have already discussed this at length in the page "how I got this way part two", just in case someone wanted more explanation (or as they sometimes call it, proof or evidence. I am of the opinion that a story told in an appropriate manner constitutes a very good form of evidence. Or that it can).

****

The trick to getting me to do things is merely to ask me nicely. After first treating me well.

For example, “please pipe down about politics”.

(In the past, they held out the carrot of restoring me to health, which is why I “fought” for the women and the “money”).

****

For about a year and four months, my only true goal has been non compliance. Non-compliance with the people who crippled me for seven years (not eight and a half). And caused me tons of harm and debilitation prior to that.

****

My throat hurts quite bit. I think they might have damaged it a bit. I also have a tendency to choke when I sleep. I can’t actually keep my airways open if I try to sleep like this. This might actually be quite serious.

****

Wednesday, 29th July, 2026

I would have preferred to opt out of having sex and remain single and celibate out of compassion for women being coerced into being a part of this system. But they rebuffed my attempts to have that conversation.

[not a commitment, because that was ages ago. And we’re in a totally different situation now, and honestly a bit of a pickle]

****

A ramble

You shouldn't threaten people into chasing you. And attack them when they stop chasing you. And if you do, you shouldn't complain about them saying random or dumb things.

Especially when they told you very plainly and clearly that they want nothing to do with any of you. When they said that they want nothing to do with you socially let alone sexually and would leave town and flee quickly to start a new life.

This is referring to the comment "raw" (ugh). And goes back a few years now, to late 2023.

I should also mention that I didn't know about the cell towers and satellites back then. I believed that I was being watched on literal hidden cameras. And I didn't know why I was sick. I was also getting hit with hot and cold rays a lot, and waking in uber soft carpet. I couldn't shower at all or wear clothes normally. And what kind of freak pervert garbage wants to coerce someone who can't even shower into having sex with them.

And I thought that they wanted babies. And that was the main part of the scheme.

Finally, I hadn't showered for 6 and a half years at that point. It's disgusting and they were all totally deranged. And still are.

I intend to come back to writing my story again some more. It's still a work in progress.

Ps: their point of view when it comes to move the world with a lever is bogus. And I already explained it before. Many times.

****

I just want to further explain a few ideas and concepts I had played with in the past.

A ramble

Observatist

Nonsensist

Education-ist

Humour-ist

Reverse social engineering

Ummm. It's mean to be a little bit silly.

***

Uhhhh.

There is line in Terry Pratchett where Lu Tze states that everyone must find his own way. And he had found his way from a washer woman in ankh morepork. Other people travel to his monastery to get wisdom. He travelled in the other direction to get it in ankh morepork (England). And you actually do. You have to create your own "way" philosophically.

And so I did.

Observe very hard. Become a generalist. Build Understanding in fields you value most (economics, criminology, engineering and the philosophy of physics/science were mine).

Then figure out what you want to do. Weigh it up very carefully! It's your responsibility to do something actively good. And measure it up against multiple ethical or moral systems. Think hard.

And then just implement it.

Observe like, Durant's point of view about history. Really observe. Without a strong ideological point of view.

Education-ist

Value education a lot. Always be educating yourself. Try to make the world better, safer and more hospitable for education. The system wants to dumb people down. Advance the interests of education. Learn about education itself. Build understanding and skills so that you can solve problems. And also educate people a little bit.

Nonsense-ist

If you've put enough stuff into yourself, and prepared hard enough, you can just do any old nonsense. Just throw whatever works at it. You have to prepare and drill yourself hard. And build so much education into yourself. This one is a joke.

The other part is to spin about in a circle acting nonsensical. To distract and confuse people. To make yourself seem like less of a target. Throw people off.

And then also you "fill the channel" with a lot of nonsense to confuse people and bork the lines of communication. Sort of. Be careful with this one! But it's more like, you need to bork it to protect your mind and psyche!! It's like a mental protection thing. For example, I talk about turnips and kittens to protect my cognitive abilities. It's a technique.

Humour-ist

Make it a joke. Make it all a funny joke. Have a sense of humour about your philosophical approach. You don't need to make it respectable. Hide the ideas and smart stuff behind humour. If it is a joke.. it's okay? Make your philosophical approach humourous, be used humour is effective. It lets you do things you can't do otherwise because it breaks the tension.

If you take it lightly, and use humour. You can make a better philosophy. Kind of like Lu tze and ms cosmopolite (don't examine that one too closely). I liked a lot of Terry Pratchett quotes, for my approach. But for me it wasn't a philosophy outside of myself. It wasn't a "way" outside of myself. I just came up with and found ideas.

Lastly, reverse social engineering is smart. It's frameworks and a design philosophy for creating toolkits for change. It's expelliarmus for human civilisation! It's about re-democratising societies that were supposed to be democratic but aren't. It's about dealing with the situation where big business corrupted or controlled civilisation, and made democracy stop working properly, and also it's got good angles on global communism. But it's about basically brainstorming. And I always said I'd have to use science to engineer something, and that's the best approach. Reverse social engineering is actually a lot of things. And it evolved over time. It's about re-engineering society.

But it's a framework for analysis and a design philosophy.

Super theory based

**********

*****

**********

What have I done? So far?

Create an invention, create policy ideas and new law ideas, push the idea of a think tank, provide some education, spin in a circle and be confusing, use other people’s resources for the R&D, use other people’s systems for communication and organisation, create a situation where I cannot be dislodged or silenced, explain the theories of reverse social engineering along the way. I think that’s most of it (revsoceng). Most of what I planned. Use social engineering. And reengineer the social landscape. Ahahaha. It’s like textbook.

****

(No one has to do this)

Physics

Write the following statement on a piece of paper 100 times:

"Mathematics isn't the language of the universe."

Maybe write it down 200 times.

Mathematics is nice, and it is very useful. I like mathematics. But I don't think that it is the language of the universe. Language is. Language is the language of the universe.

Mathematics is the language of engineering.

Next, experimental physicists are cooler and more awesome than theoretical physicists. My favourite guys in physics (as an amateur) are Faraday and Rutherford. They're amazing.

Learn about their lives, experiments and achievements by reading a biography about each, if you're interested.

You will learn a lot.

If you're really keen, then check out the faraday lectures, and consider replicating a few of his experiments.

And also just read some biographies of scientists and some histories of science and scientific thinking in general. And read some books about the history of engineering and the history of medicine and public health. And take a look at the history of inventions or technological innovations. Or listen to lectures from universities or the great courses.

That's all I have for now.

If you can't tell, my idea is that you must "always be learning". Learning needs to become a part of your way of life. For some people haha. Not everyone. Not everyone needs to become a lifelong learner. Or a hard core reader. Just like not everyone needs to become an educated person (a thoroughly educated person: through school, reading, libraries, university, the internet, book shops, conversation, and potentially other ways).

I need to do a new post. Draft, back of the envelope.

Write about Geraldine:

I had a nurse/support worker/carer.

She was actually a nurse. Like a proper registered nurse if I remember correctly. She was tall and Scottish.

She was government funded. She came funded by the dbh. And came through the agency Geneva healthcare.

She showed up most days to help out. She has to wash my back and arm pits. And my lower legs and my feet. She cut my hair once or twice. These tasks were a real struggle! Especially my back before they let some tension go in 2022. And also before I discovered “mini squats”.

She cooked food for me, because I couldn't cook things properly in the kitchen.

She helped out with other basic tasks that I couldn't manage.

And I talked with her a fair bit. Because I had no other confidantes or people I could talk to.

She was with us from I don't know how long. Maybe 2018/2019 until 2022. I have to check a few things. She was there for ages and ages.

She modified some shirts for me. And she had to help me to out them on and take the off. I was so unwell.

We talked a lot.

She made me nice food on Christmas Day, because I had no where else to go and no one else to talk to.

I talked about my health with her a lot. And we discussed things a lot. And at any point she could have told me what was wrong and what caused it.

At one point (in 2023 I think, or very late 2022) she told me that it was all in my head, or otherwise implied it. Which is a horrible thing to do.

It was a mystery illness to me. How can something like that happen!?

I was cagey when I first met her (I was a little bit afraid of mental health services). But warmed to her over time.

But she could have talked to me.

She tried fairly hard to cook better food for me. To fatten me up. Because I was too skinny!

And the shirts she modified for me were important and helpful.

But she kept me in the dark.

One conversation: "there are cell phone towers that can give you symptoms and cause long term health problems". “These cell phone towers can manipulate your muscles and nerves long term”.

One single conversation!!

I liked her and I trusted her!!!

****

Tuesday, 28th July, 2026

The whole "using this tool of nervous system manipulation" to control me is a non-starter.

I have suffered too much to be willing to let that happen.

It's a non-negotiable.

No nervous system manipulation.

And I need to recover.

The number and quality of women is totally negotiable.

One really nice and tolerably attractive woman 2-4 times a week, missionary or similar is fine. Especially if she's someone who I didn't know prior to 2023!

Being involved in engineering, technology or invention is negotiable.

Taking my blog down is negotiable (in time)

Being involved in politics is negotiable.

Engaging in political theorising is negotiable (this is about theorising in public, I'll probably day dream a bit in private).

Being able to fry people with nervous system blasts is negotiable (I don't really want to). It’s too horrible. And at the same time not lethal enough. And so I don’t like it.

Which town I live in is negotiable.

Custody is negotiable.

Criminal charges for Brynn and Amanda might be negotiable.

Civil action against Brynn and Amanda is negotiable (suing them over Lily and IVF).

Suing fertility associates is negotiable (perhaps over illegal paperwork and also covering it up - I have a paper trail)

Complaints against the DHB, PDS and NZ Police are negotiable (district health board (geriatricians and older adults rehabilitation service especially), public defence service, NZ police).

Media interviews are negotiable. I don’t have to get stuff about IVF into the newspaper.

Using the stuff on my body to maintain what I have labelled "torso integrity compromised" and to use that to further make me suffer is not negotiable. I'm not willing to put up with that. Total non compliance is my intention in that case.

Using my own terminology in my own head is something I intend to keep doing as well. And also structuring my thoughts and doing it my way is something intents to keep doing. There is a little wiggle room there. But not an infinite amount.

Why?

Ummm. The suffering of 8.5 years of "torso integrity compromised" and being crippled is so serious and severe that I'm not willing to have it be used as a too on me. It's just not acceptable to me. It's not a realistic scenario. And it's not a tolerable one otherwise. I understand that you might have had other ideas and intentions. Or you might have other feelings. But it would be for the best if you abandon them.

*************

****

*************

We should remember the 40 million Chinese people killed by Mao in the great famine with the same sadness, horror and respect as we feel for the 6 million Jews killed in the holocaust. I have felt this way since I was 20.

I have already explained why.

Ps: a lot of Polish people, gypsies (Roma), homosexuals, Jehovah's Witnesses, trade unionists and disabled people died in the holocaust too, as well as prisoners of war from Russia and other parts of the Soviet bloc.

****

Annoying conversation

If I were to have sex, I'd want to do missionary or girl on top.

But I'd also want to be able to shower first (I need about 4 showers at the moment). And also I want to be able to shower before and/or after sex really easily.

And I'd need to be comfortable having sex in missionary. Which I'm not. I couldn't do that for 10-15 minutes.

And I'm also not comfortable having sex in girl on top. I'm it stable enough and would have to brace my neck and back.

I need to get my health back!

Ps: I hate talking about sex in public!! It's horrible!!! You're all terrible and awful people.

****

What's good for the goose..

The phrase typically finishes as "is good for the gander," meaning that if a rule, behavior, or treatment applies to one person, it should equally apply to another.

Meaning and Origin

Equal Treatment: The idiom highlights fairness and stops people from using double standards. If you think an action is fine for yourself, you cannot complain if someone else does the exact same thing.

Old Roots: As noted in Wiktionary, the saying evolved from an older 17th-century proverb, "What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander" (where a "gander" is a male goose). The idea was that the same cooking sauce suited both birds equally.

Unmmmm.

Except I'm actually a good and intelligent person with good intentions and a fair bit of integrity. I am characterised by honesty. I am kind, compassionate and extremely patient.

But if you're a communist, then you're a bad person who should be dropped down a well. So there is no such justification as good for the goose and good for the gander. I therefore dismiss your point of view before even hearing it.

Why are they in need of being dropped down a well? Umm. Out of compassion for the normal people of the world. The 80%ers. Communists get people killed in stupid ways.

Ps: all of the following people are communists: satellites, ai enthusiasts, feminists, Wiccans, dregvant, scientific socialists, hyper liberal university professors and many other such people. Loosely speaking. I literally can't tell the difference.

Yes, I know I sound silly. But that is by design.

I have so far managed to avoid using too much logic, reason or rationality in my discussions with these people. Because they aren’t part of the culture that values that. Pearls before swine etc.

****

The Greens

https://www.stuff.co.nz/politics/361012471/winston-peters-calls-greens-appallingly-retarded-over-data-centre-ban

What if the greens in NZ could all have a small 3x3 room in their garage, or a faraday corner/walkthrough in their bedroom. Then they could all talk to one another and organise themselves online.

And if they set up just half a dozen rooms on one floor of an apartment building, with a permanent core of caretakers, then they could use that for in person meetings. Set it up with faraday shielding. Do it in Auckland. Consider it a second headquarters.

They could even use it to produce a newsletter or other magazine/newspaper/publication. And then email the newsletter to individual activists around the country, who then print it out and distribute it from their home faraday rooms, corners and walkthroughs.

Lastly, they could used the “second headquarters” to host a web forum. Because I know that the greens loooove forums (or used to). A web forum is just one webhosting box. It’s dirt cheap.

And then, campaign against data centres, cell towers and spectrum deals.

I voted for the greens once. And if I didn't, I think I came very, very close. I can't remember. I think that it might have been 2014 or 2017.

Also, the Maori party might be able to do something similar.

****

Monday, 27th July, 2026

****

This is how China’s economy grew:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peaceful_Evolution_theory

They were introduced to consumerism, mass production, corporate management structure, scientific management, education, education-ism, makeup, handbags, high heel shoes, fashion, fast food, travel as a leisure activity, housing driven economic growth, the international manufacturing supply chain, Keynesianism, corporate farming, shopping malls, online shopping, luxury cars, video game consoles, and many of the other trappings of western civilisation. And other countries allowed them to have bogus currency deals. And they had worse labour standards and environmental standards.

****

I was led to believe early on that I needed to have sex to win "olives". But I didn't want to sleep with anyone. I hadn't showered for six and a half years. I don't know if people realise quite how bad the thing that happened in 2017 was.

Anyway, that was one of the things that pushed me to try to have sex with these fae. A sense of obligation.

This is gist level truth, not quibble proof truth. This is because it was implied, not spoken plainly.

****

They told me that I had to say the words "I don't want sex. And/or I don't want women".

That was their end game.

On a number of different occasions I said, "I don't want any of your women". "And I don't want any women through your system". I want to be celibate for years, and then I want to find a girlfriend on my own terms and in my own way (voluntarily). I need to recover first!

I tried to opt out.

But I didn't want to say the words their way, because their wording was technically and actually incorrect.

"I don't want sex. And/or I don't want women".

But I just said it my way.

The game was supposed to end when I gave up on winning their women??? But they kept it going for ages!

I have tried to explain this many, many times.

****

If you want to call me a pervert, then why are you watching me and observing me in bed at night!?!?

You're the pervert as far as I'm concerned!!

I don't want you in my life or in my home!

If you're observing me and my mind in bed late at night, then you're a pervert and should be locked up. Voyeur. Gross.

****

Somebody asked:

From Wikipedia/google

Yes, Hungarian communists systematically harassed, arrested, tortured, and killed members of the Social Democratic Party. Using intimidation and the secret police (ÁVH), the communist leadership eliminated the Social Democrats as an independent political force through forced absorption and violent purges.

****

People I like

I like people like Udham Singh, Otoya Yamaguchi.

You don't have to ask for permission to solve problems or change the world for the better. Nor do you have ask for forgiveness for doing things that other people dislike. You do have to think it through first, very carefully. And weight it up morally. It is a serious and weighty thing to make decisions that have an effect on many people's lives. You shouldn't make decisions like that lightly. But you don't have to ask permission. But people are sometimes a little upset when problem solvers solve problems.

Full disclosure: I don’t know much about the story of Udham Singh.

****

Next, mostly unrelated.

If you are a teenaged girl involved in encouraging other girls to get into the sex games, or become dregvant skanks like you, they you're no better than the sorts of people who do trafficking and sexual exploitation and brothel prostitution fought against by people like this:

https://www.ijm.org/our-work

You are the very same sort of person. I see no true distinction between you and those bad people. And the people you service sexually are facilitating and protecting the same system.

You're no better than anyone talked about negatively in the stories on these websites.

And the same is true of all supporters of dregvantism and the sex system in New Zealand. And especially people like the people who have harmed me, and the individuals in the upper levels of the Labour Party (perhaps not all of them), but certainly the likes of Ardern or Robertson (the were prime minister and deputy prime minister while I was kept crippled, half naked, filthy and freezing cold just 45 minutes drive away from their place of work). Chris Hipkins also lives about 35 minutes drive away from my home in Raumati Beach. He is currently the leader of the Labour Party, and was prime minister for some of the period of time I was kept crippled and surveilled and under threat. The police corruption, medical corruption, judicial corruption and corruption of the public defence service all occurred under his watch. And I was actually in Karori crippled for a good chunk of his time as prime minister. I was literally a 10 minute drive away from parliament! Anyway, less about politicians.

If you support the fae, then you are no better than the people in this story: https://www.ijm.org/stories/kashi (not there because of the India thing, just there in general. Tons of stories in South East Asia and South Asia.

****

Press ganged and trafficking

Women are being press ganged en masse into having sex with random men and also to have sex with their own male friends. They are obliged to have sex with even their friends to protect them. As well as random men!!

They are basically being trafficked into being a part of a common resource reservoir of sex.

This is sexual trafficking and prostitution.

It is forced prostitution because they fill the market category of providing sex to customers.

It isn't love or romanticism or chivalry.

It's trafficking and prostitution.

Some women do it voluntarily, or semi voluntarily.

And some women are so vile and evil that they're basically ideologically wedded to being a sex worker anyway! Like the women who commit themselves to me. The only ethical way I could think of participating was to have 6 evil trash whores. And participating is (or seemed to be compulsory) for getting my health back. Or merely being able to walk around town.

And so any way.

I would have preferred to be single and celibate. I asked to be allowed to.

I offered to remain single and celibate.

I was very happy to remain single and celibate.

And work quietly and diligently to make the world. Kind of like a Jesuit priest, or augustinian monk (but unaffiliated with any order). But I was denied that opportunity and option. And I would have used science and invention to try to do it. I am not primarily motivated by sex, money or power. Nor by fame, status or recognition. Nor by romantic love.

I deny the Chinese have any right to use language and be treated as sensible people when they do it. They are banned from word-speaking, because they have destroyed their reputation for using words in coherent manner.

They have dumbed themselves dumb on purpose. They also pretend to be retarded.

But they are actually kind of retarded, in the literal scientific sense of the word. The CCP and affiliated mainlanders and communist diaspora and communist affiliated diaspora. And to pretend to be retarded when you're actually a bit retarded is mental case stuff.

Next...

It's their language, education system, culture, religious teacher, favourite philosopher, favourite political theorists, leaders and their modern theories of mind re-engineering, and their past theories of re-engineering their body and mind that make me say these things.

I'm allowed to say these things, because I have tried a thousand times over to start sensible conversations with them. And also made inquiries into whether they are smart or not. I have tried!

Ps: I also tried to have conversations with the fae in general about being single and celibate long term, or otherwise opting out. But without success.

And so I just dismiss the opinions of the CCP as being retarded. Because I dismiss the men as being retarded.

As for conversation, they never showed up to the table. And as for words, their words are worthless. But as for conversation, I tried to invite them to participate in the culture of sensible conversations. I tried again and again. But they never showed up. And empty worthless words, spoken anonymously, just won't cut the mustard with me.

I made so many attempts to start conversations.

So many attempts.

I made so many attempts to start conversations.

And I made them because I wanted to solve problems.

Problems like… can I just rehabilitate myself?

Can I be single and celibate?

Can I just be left alone?

Can I just say that these women aren’t acceptable to me in any way shape or form?

Can I just say that it’s pure obligation sex if it’s with the evil ones?

Can I just say that I don’t want to be a part of forcing normal women to do sex work as a trafficked prostitute?

And if the normal women aren’t acceptable to me because it’s coercive and trafficking, and the evil women aren’t a prize.. can I just opt out?

These are problems to be solved!

Or I could have asked… can I just pay a woman once a month to have sex with her!? It’s way more ethical than participating in this system!!

****

Sunday, 26th July, 2026

Clarification

When I said I'm a principled coward. It was a joke.

I said in the past, I'm a principled coward! I just want to run away screaming like a little girl! Ahhhhhhh! Run away? Run away!? Like the sheep man in a wild sheep chase, and I want to just hide away.

Those were meant to be taken ironically! It was irony and humour!

I do often basically want to opt out so that I can live in peace, and also rehabilitate myself physically. But that’s a different thing.

****

Saturday, 25th July, 2026

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What is reverse social engineering?

It was an intellectual exercise about re-democratising a society that is supposed to be democratic but has been made un-democratic by evil corporations.

I used it to keep myself occupied and sane during my years of being a wretched cripple.

[this is gist-level truth, not quibble proof truth]

****

https://www.ijm.org/stories/kashi

Hypothetically speaking, What sort of punishment should the sort of people who do these things get?

Next, is what the local New Zealand women do to people psychically when they’re teenagers any better? Women like Siobhan, Brynn and Sarah participate in the trafficking and pimping of women and girls and teenagers all the time (teenagers trafficking peers into it especially). They create fantasy realities to dress it a little differently, but no matter what fake works use, it’s still youths and children, it’s still sex work, it’s still trafficking, it’s still pimping and it’s still prostitution.

They cover it up with fake narratives. But their words mean nothing at all to me.

Whenever you guys say words, I just say “words, words, words”.

These people want to turn society into a hyper coerced Omni-brothel, and they want to start kids and teens off as early as possible.

Ps: the sort of people who work for IJM. They’re the good guys. And you guys in the dregs, are just dirt. A waste of time and space. People who do that sort of stuff with IJM, or people who work for places like world vision, Fred hollows foundation, mercy ships, Doctors Without Borders, Red Cross, I like those sorts of people. I also like Wilberforce (started the RSPCA), Jim Elliot and people like that. I just don’t value the things you value.

Back when I was younger, I used to daydream about doing things like the things these people do. Being like them. That was the sort of thing I used to think about, or one aspect of it.

****

Otoya Yamaguchi

What if instead of assassinating a mere politician, you could assassinate the international corporate technological imperialist* hegemony by means of a computer hack? An infinitely mix and matchable hack?

The CCP and PRC are patsies and dumb and annoying. A hate magnet. Ignore them.

***

*imperialist, economically and politically. Just google anti-imperialism and Latin America. Anti imperialist so that people like Hugo Chavez or the Iranians might win. And they have self governance and autonomy. And the ability to call their own shots. And also New Zealand too.

****

By the way, reverse social engineering is kind of like doing a computer hack. You use theories of computer systems security and hacking. Except civilisation is the system you’re hacking. Except it turns out that it’s basically a computer system that you need to hack!!

****

******

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Friday, 24th July, 2026

To feel a smidge of desire and curiosity about something isn't the same thing as to want to do something. Nor is it the same thing as to intend to do it or to choose to do it.

By the way, this was the source of much of the controversy, confusion and conflict a year and a half ago.

I tried to write down in a piece of paper all of the things that I was willing to do. But they got upset with me!! I wanted to write a list about all of the things that I “wanted” to do!?

I'll write about it properly sometime.

****

I worked on these skills and theories and frameworks just on the off chance that i might be able to use them for the good of the people of planet earth. I did this while I was sick. As a hobby ahahahhaha.

****

Without the CCP, Xi and these nz women lunatics bothering me, I could have invented stuff sooner and maybe helped and defended their allies Venezuela, Cuba, Iran, Bolivia (?), and Nicaragua (?) and maybe Zimbabwe (?).

We shield 100 hotels across Venezuela and Cuba and Iran back then. Install microwave cannons. And push fire.

Sorted.

Maybe? Ahaha.

***

But China makes a bad ally.

Anti imperialists and those who oppose the American corporate monstrosity (tech and big business and radio wave stuff) could have pushed back.

It could have been done and dusted by now.

(Maybe).

It’s just radio waves!?

Anti/imperialism and places like the above mentioned places were a big part of my ideas in the past.

More: with the blessings of Maduro, the Venezuelan militia could have done it independently.

I used to be a big fan of things like:

Anti imperialism, self governance, self ownership, democracy, your own citizens profiting from their own natural resources (Venezuelan oil and Bolivian mining). Mild socialism for many places who want it, but without the weird stuff. Like for all the people and places associated with Hugo Chavez. I was really interested in what might be done with places like Venezuela, Cuba, Bolivia, Nicaragua, Ecuador, Antigua and Barbuda, Dominica, Grenada, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines. ALBA I think it is called. Iran and Haiti have ties to it too.

Ps: the cure for Havana syndrome is a tin can fortress. And as for the satellites and cell towers, these guys all around Latin America have the capacity to sort it out. Or did. But Xi messed it up. But anyway, maybe it’s still okay. And can be sorted out.

Note: I don’t know much about all of here places. Or maybe I know a moderate amount. But I don’t like the way that America oppresses them economically and politically in the past and to this day. They should be able to govern their own societies and benefit from their own assets and resources. These guys could have perhaps liberated themselves from these satellites, cell towers and stuff by now.

****

Everything comes back to the history of industrialisation, science, engineering, public health, epidemic disease, education and economic development.

If you have done any less than 250 hours of education in these areas of history then you won't understand anything I'm on about when it comes to the Chinese.

First of all, you must understand waterborne fecal illnesses and the Chinese. And the connection between disease public health and education/intelligence globally, including in Europe. Diseases like diarrhoea, cholera, dysentery, typhoid, polio, malaria, hookworm (parasite), smallpox, bubonic plague, HIV, Tuberculosis, heavy metal poisoning, syphilis, schistosomiasis, venereal disease in general, and Chinese attitudes towards treatment of VD. And see also the effects of severe malnutrition and Malthus. And although it is Africa, see also sleeping sickness and the tsetse fly.

This is why people get angry with China!! Apoplectic in the past!! There is so much history!!

So many battles involving Pride vs hygiene!!

And in Vietnam too. That was all about toilets, Frenchmen and the plague. And the sewerage systems, re-engineering the capital, architecture and urban planning.

So much plague zomg.

And then fatalistic Confucian attitudes towards disease, and then also keeping the Chinese population freezing cold and hungry!! It was hell on earth. And the confucians want stability above all (they call it harmony) because they want to maintain the class structure. It's all about "gentlemen". It's horrible. It's purely classist. It's disgusting. Irredeemable. Throw the whole thing out!

Action points: just do education. Read stuff and listen to lectures. Study history.

Include: Science, engineering, technology and economic.

****

Thursday, 23rd July, 2026

Twenty-four years ago, Dad was sleeping with Tomoe Takahashi our 17 year old Japanese exchange student, which blew his marriage up.

And then years later he's molesting a 10 year old half Chinese girl who he's coaching in Table Tennis.

And now he is awaiting trial on multiple counts of child molestation.

Zzzz.

****

Tuesday, 21st July, 2026

****

I apologise in advance for the language. But perhaps being forthright in my use of language is a better than pussyfooting around the issue. And I might actually get in trouble for this. I am actually a little bit in danger!?

A Request

Brynn Huso is a pedo-fucker. She shags pedophiles. Unapologetically.

I'm not attracted to pedo-fuckers. I don't need to sleep with one.

And yet the Chinese Communists are trying to push us together?

Can I not just discard her?

[ps: I might be mistaken about the facts, but I don't think I am.]

****

Oh won’t anybody rid me of this baby mad Chinese funded criminal harlot?

****

This might be a dumb question, but is so called “meta cognition” considered an advanced technique these days?

https://www.instagram.com/p/DakS_ErmbrM/?img_index=8&igsh=MTBqN3A3YXk0aHE0Zg==

It’s like… basic and normal?

You should have it going by 12 at the latest?

I had it going as a very young child? It’s normal!!?!?!?!??

Just thinking about thoughts?

Thinking about your thoughts and then engaging in abstract thought is normal. Isn’t it?

Is there an east/west divide!?

The conversation being had in the clip is obviously a scam and a psychological operation to make thinking abnormal.

Ummm.

It’s not called meta cognition. It’s just called thinking.

It wasn’t invented by psychologists. And they’re not even good at it. And it wasn’t invented by neuroscientists. And Buddhists are bad at it (relatively speaking). Buddhism de-trains the mind and mis-trains the mind.

Read Terry Pratchett’s “Tiffany Aching” books. They’re suitable for young adult readers and have plenty in it to stimulate thinking habits, and what he calls “second thoughts”.

Secondly, look at faraday and how he was thinking. And his use of language. That will help you to understand thought a little bit better (it doesn’t focus on metacognition, but it will help you learn about thinking). Many of these things will help you out with abstract thinking. Which is actually better than “meta cognition” which doesn’t actually exist and is a silly use of fake made up terminology.

Thirdly, just day dream and go for walks. Hold discussions and debates in the mind. It helps. And write stuff down! Write lots.

Tldr;

What is meta cognition? I thought we might just call it thinking!!

And then another type of thinking is called abstract thought. That is important too.

***

Added:

I think that they're faking it until they make it by pretending that meta cognition isn't normal. i.e., thinking but thinking.

And then they're pretending that Buddhists invented it or that secular atheist psychologists invented it.

And pretending that you need the guidance of such people to develop basic capacity for normal human thought.

It's pretty lulzy.

****

Please don't forget that East Asians don't have the same attitudes towards orphans or children as people do in Christendom, the west, the Anglosphere or amongst those who believe in Abrahamic religions.

***

For example:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dying_Rooms

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Akiyuki_Nosaka

Sanlu

****

Now Abraham moved on from there into the region of the Negev and lived between Kadesh and Shur. For a while he stayed in Gerar, and there Abraham said of his wife Sarah, “She is my sister.” Then Abimelek king of Gerar sent for Sarah and took her.

But God came to Abimelek in a dream one night and said to him, “You are as good as dead because of the woman you have taken; she is a married woman.”

Now Abimelek had not gone near her, so he said, “Lord, will you destroy an innocent nation? Did he not say to me, ‘She is my sister,’ and didn’t she also say, ‘He is my brother’? I have done this with a clear conscience and clean hands.”

Then God said to him in the dream, “Yes, I know you did this with a clear conscience, and so I have kept you from sinning against me. That is why I did not let you touch her. Now return the man’s wife, for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you will live. But if you do not return her, you may be sure that you and all who belong to you will die.”

Early the next morning Abimelek summoned all his officials, and when he told them all that had happened, they were very much afraid. Then Abimelek called Abraham in and said, “What have you done to us? How have I wronged you that you have brought such great guilt upon me and my kingdom? You have done things to me that should never be done.” And Abimelek asked Abraham, “What was your reason for doing this?”

Abraham replied, “I said to myself, ‘There is surely no fear of God in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’ Besides, she really is my sister, the daughter of my father though not of my mother; and she became my wife. And when God had me wander from my father’s household, I said to her, ‘This is how you can show your love to me: Everywhere we go, say of me, “He is my brother.”’”

Then Abimelek brought sheep and cattle and male and female slaves and gave them to Abraham, and he returned Sarah his wife to him. And Abimelek said, “My land is before you; live wherever you like.”

To Sarah he said, “I am giving your brother a thousand shekels[a] of silver. This is to cover the offense against you before all who are with you; you are completely vindicated.”

Then Abraham prayed to God, and God healed Abimelek, his wife and his female slaves so they could have children again, for the Lord had kept all the women in Abimelek’s household from conceiving because of Abraham’s wife Sarah.

Ummmmm. Don't forget that all of those rules invented by Moses came into the world in which this sort of thing happened. People had someone they cared about and was married to, and then they feel pressure, and then lie and try to pimp their wife out to keep themselves safe. Okay? Try to understand history first, then criticise. For practical reasons, understand history first, then criticise. Actually, no. Dive straight into the conversations, but be willing to bring yourself up to speed always. Stay humble and always be learning new things.

****

What's brown and sticky and sits on a piano stool?

Beethovens's second movement.

****

Ps: I have been working on my creative powers in a dedicated manner ever since I was about 7ish years old.

****

Good education:

Learn about public health, epidemic diseases, east vs west, history of vaccines, sanitation and fresh water. And learn about architecture as it relates to diseases (see also England and spacing it out for diseases). See class and disease.

Feel briefly apoplectic about China and East Asia. Understand in your heart toe problems.

Then calm down. Then choose your attitude. It's okay to feel strong emotion when you discover epidemic disease, and the East.

It's okay to feel horror and rage and despair. But then choose your attitude. It's just history.

It's natural to say, "holy fuxking shit just build a wall and keep them in there!!! Spay and neuter each single one of them!!!!

And then understand pride. The East Asians do pride. Especially like Thai and China and I think Vietnam used to. Christendom puts pride to death. It's bedrock for Christians.

Anyway: action point, learn about public health. Start with bubonic plague. Start with Snowden's course at Yale.

I buried the lede: Chinese people gave zero fucks about plague. LITERALLY plague. They just paralyse their souls and promote the harmonious society. Accept it and live with it. They don’t modify behaviour. It’s INSANE. Same for Vietnamese. Uncommon truth: the Vietnam war was at its heat all about French people, toilets and the plague in Vietnam. The French were apoplectic about the Vietnamese attitude to plague and sanitation. The Vietnamese were offended. It was pride. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Devils advocate: And so we have to include moronic East Asians in our society, or else we can’t have public health!!!?!?!?? Because disease is globalised… so globalisation includes public health, so we include tards. It’s kind of like that. Arg. Arg. Arg. Some people don’t understand how much people work around them. They don’t understand that people with triple their intelligence are BABYSITTING them. Arg ahhhhhhhh.

But then you have to work around PRIDE. Holy fuckinf shit. Holy fuckjng shit. Holy fucking shit. East Asian pride. Ahhhhhhh. Such pain and woe. East Asian pride. Why!?!!?!!? Why be proud. To try to solve problems while working around morons. Who insist on being honoured and flattered as though they weren’t retarded and morons (aka Pride). Ahhhhhhhh. Spelling mistakes annd typos included on purpose.

But then, we have to put on our happy faces. And compassionate hearts all the same. To solve problems. In this IHC mental hospital world full of lunatics (which is actually unfair on ihc, because they didn’t choose it, unlike many of you). And then we have to treat social or political interactions with certain East Asians as a hostage situation. And their own people are hostages.

Action point: actually study public health and economics. And yes, I could give people recommendations for these.

Economics, do three years of the high school curriculum. And then read three “popular economics” books. Like the undercover economist, and the freakonomics book, and maybe a Gene Callahan. And then listen to 15 episodes of freakonomics. And then just think…

Public health, do the Yale course. Take notes. And then read 5 books about it. Local public library: one on plague, one on small pox, one on hookworm, one on nutrition, one on malaria.

And read 40+ books a year. At least 50-80% non fiction.

And read the Wikipedia entry for literally everything.

And then read about public health and how it intersects with religion. Start with Judaism. Duuuuuuuh.

*******

Mao Zedong’s river swim at the start of the Great Leap Forward is very symbolically important.

And the falling out with Khrushchev was based on personal pride. Swimming.

And the Great Leap Forward was about pride: overtaking English steel production…

*******

China, under Mao Zedong, provided an estimated $1 billion in economic and military aid to Pol Pot’s Khmer Rouge, accounting for at least 90% of the regime's total foreign funding. This critical backing, which included heavy weaponry, rice, and technical advisors, sustained the regime during its brutal rule from 1975 to 1979.

China invaded Vietnam in 1979 as a punitive strike after Vietnam ousted the Chinese-backed Khmer Rouge regime in Cambodia. Beijing also sought to counter Soviet influence in Southeast Asia, assert itself as the dominant regional power, and pressure Hanoi over its treatment of ethnic Chinese residents.

China = disappointment

Han Chinese people = disappointment

Just look up the boxer revolution if you want to know more.

Ps: not all Chinese!

***

If you have never read a history of the great famine and cultural revolution. And if you don’t understand economics, then you’re not educated. And if you’ve never read a few holocaust books, then you’re not educated. And if you’ve never read about Pol pot then you’re not educated.

****

I was an economics fanatic, a libertarian, a criminology enthusiast (I studied tons of criminology, for a layman) and fascinated by architecture. As part of criminology, you learn about policing, crime and prisons.

Back in 2009, 2010, 2011 I may have been a university drop out, but I didn't stop being an intellectual.

Uhhhh. Economists don't pull punches in their minds when talking about things ahahahhahaha. They can be really, really harsh. Like, what's the relative economic benefit or capacity of women or elderly or dimwits, or geniuses? Or children!!! As an economics nut, you don't assume that children are sacred and will always be treated as such? What if compassion is lost in society!?

Speaking of compassion.. Also, intellectually handicapped or physically impaired people. Criminals. People with learning disorders, and problems reading. People raised in bad climates. People whose parents didn't develop their minds properly in the first 3-5 years of life. What about people who come from families without three generations of literacy? What about comparing people with illiterate parent with families who have three generations of people who are literate, educated, love education, adore books and perhaps went to university? It's night and day. And what about people whose first language isn't a very "intellectual language". Or people whose parents fed them until they were obese by age 9. If you're born to obese parents and you're a ham planet by 9 years old. It's horrible.

/ramble over

I'm still writing the main story, but it's slow going sometimes.

By the way, what’s the real gold mine in the University? Answer: it is the library. And books. Books change lives. Books change your life intellectually (for example, a few books about scientific research and what the scientific methods are. And statistics. There is NO WHERE ELSE to get that knowledge, not that I knew of. How could I get it!? How to curate it!? I pulled those books, every single one off of the shelves and used my skin read techniques on them, got the knowledge I needed, at 20 years old, and it’s vital).

In the medieval world, it’s a place where you _read_ and find books. And secondly, you have conversations.

Those are still the best parts.

****

Monday, 20th July, 2026

What is the western world?

Ummm.

Perhaps it is the Mediterranean as highway?

It is trading vessels getting grain all over the place, and olive oil and wine. And other commodity goods, or high quality fine goods.

It is about trade and seafaring.

And then after that it is about accounting, clerks, bean counters, trading houses, merchants etc.

And then after that it is language. It is the language of the traders. And it is the written languages of the traders. And very often it is the written characters that were created by accountants that then became alphabets.

And then became the next language.

And then theses alphabets melded with the spoken languages.

And created cognitive benefits.

And then eventually the trade and stuff of worked it's way through and became Europe. And then we had trade on the open seas. But we still had the languages of the traders and merchants and accountants.

The other part of the west is bureaucracy. But using proper high quality languages (Greek, often). But that was like the eastern Roman Empire, so ignore for now.

Action points:

Learn about alphabets.

Learn about logographs

Learn about the history of accounting

Learn about Sumerian cuneiform, Phoenician script, Greek script, Roman letters. Etruscan alphabet.

Learn about the philosophical and Confucian and priestly caste and how they did language (hieroglyphics and logographic).

Ask yourself. Do you want the language of the priests and philosophers or the language of the accountants and traders?

That's a start.

What is the East?

It is rivers.

Full of poo.

Full of Confucius too.

Except Japan. Clean water.

Focus more on the education, and less on the conclusion.

Try to develop understanding.

Get better at using your own judgement.

Ps: you can learn this stuff and still be a bad person.

Extra note: I would recommend doing a full lecture series (or a program of dedicated reading) on each of China, India, Japan, France, England, America, Greece and Rome. If you haven’t covered them before. As well as one on the history of scientific thinking. I could probably find you a safe entry point into each of those.

As well as the other action points on language.

***

Key words: seafaring, accounting, language

****

Sunday, 19th July, 2026

Father-in-law

Here is a picture showing you where I was living and where my father in-law-Darryl was living. He is living literally a stone’s throw away from my house. Amanda and I went there a fair bit. I lived at 17 Princeton Road from 2013 to 2023. Ten years. At any point he could have just talked to me in plain clear English. He could have told me what was making me sick. He knew that I was unwell. And he knew that I was crippled from 2017.

Here are sermons from him:

https://sermoncentral.com/contributors/darryl-ward-profile-61924

^This part of it may actually be worse than you think. The sermons part of it.

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Friday, 17th July, 2026

By the way, Buddhist mindfulness is a downgrade for the mind.

It is not an upgrade.

By this I mean the changes to your mind after extensive vipassana meditation. Or dzogchen. For example, looking for the "looker" and getting it to fall away. Or the “clarity feeling” of thoughtlessness and the easy falling away of thoughts, and the phenomenon of having to _choose_ to have thoughts in mindfulness in order to have abstract thinking happen (the way you contract thinking changes).

****

"Define: opinion

An opinion is a personal belief or judgment about something. It is based on your feelings or thoughts rather than absolute proof. Opinions can change when you get new information."

lol, don’t respect mindfulness and meditation wonks. Meditation and mindfulness sucks.

****

Mostly unrelated…

An individual can simply take the time to develop genuine understanding, or even actual wisdom, on a topic or matter. Such as… atomic physics, electromagnetism, and the theories of knowledge in science. Or the history of experiment and stuff in science. Or the history of language use in certain scientific areas. Yiu can actually just develop understanding. But you don’t need to prove it. That’s the thing. And individual can just develop some genuine understanding of matters, some wisdom and cleverness in practical matters, and then use it to solve problem. Not all understanding is knowledge. And that doesn’t make it mere opinion either. I.e. understanding that has not been converted to knowledge isn’t just mere opinion.

Next, you can develop your capacity for judgement.

And you can learn about theory itself, what it is and how it works. You can learn the theory of theory. And learn about the art and science of using theory.

But anyway, maybe you need to just say to yourself “I want to develop genuine understanding and wisdom” and then work on it. That’s what I did when it came to using “engineering and other types of innovation based on physics and hard sciences to solve real world problems in the area of sociology and civilisation as a whole”. And I did it after reading Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. And I just chose to. It was just a choice.

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Wednesday, 15th July, 2026

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Monday, 13th July, 2026

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Reverse social engineering

The "system" wants us to do it "their way". We are expected to do things within their frame of reference.

So why not change the rules?

Why not change the way the frames of reference work?

But how?

Reverse social engineering was designed around the idea that you can change the "game engine" of human civilisation (I.E. society a whole).

You can modify it, and once you do things you don't have to do things according to and within their frame of reference.

You change the context. The rules of the "game" itself. The frame of reference is shifted.

But how?

Real world physics is built into the "game engine". And so you find a way to use IRL physics to modify gameplay. Or you find a physics "exploit" in the game engine.

And maybe you use this exploit to create new strategies and techniques, which then allow you to escape from their "frame of reality", where they set the tone and create the context for what happens.

And yeah...

That's it.

And I actually worked on those ideas years ago. And I worked on them a lot!! Maybe in 2018 or 2019. I poured dozens of hours of thought and analysis into the above ideas. It's part of the "project" of reverse social engineering. Or part of the "body of work" as I called it.

Reverse social engineering:

Re-democratising a democracy that has become controlled and paralysed by evil corporations (and other big players such as banks, universities and the media).

But practically, how!?

1. Physical engineering, with a focus on physics based solutions. Use physics to create physical inventions

2. Policy think tank: disruptive new policies

3. Education

4. Find ways to "deprogram" people, and then to "reprogram" them.

5. Whatever works!? So anything sensible

Usually you want to disarm and neutralise the control mechanisms (expelliarmus). And also you sometimes use a neoclassical economics and classical criminology theory to incentivise good things and disincentivise bad things. And you might use the personnel control model/approach. And also, you use community bodies to determine culture. A body other than parliament and universities decides on what culture will be. We the people decide. This last one might be an idea where you take the gist of it, but split up the functions of it.

Anyway. All of that just above was part what I used to theorise about. And none of it is new.

And funnily enough, I just typed for about 10-20 minutes. And no extra pain. But if I had been trying to cook my spinach or bok choy, there would be pain and struggle. Or if I had been trying to write my life story, there would be pain and struggle.

****

Sanlu and Infant Formula: milk powder, protein powder and melamine

They just needed to put something like this in their milk. Instead of melamine "protein" powder.

Literally, they just needed to add actual protein powder.

https://youtube.com/shorts/Q7FYO2dAdsQ?si=3xH3hhvUd9MMRDPr

Link takes you to an ordinary advert with a bland monotone speaking guy (obviously not TV trained) who uses whey protein powder.

****

Sanlu

The Sanlu milk scandal began as early as October 2007 when suppliers started adding the toxic chemical melamine to watered-down milk. The contamination continued undetected and unaddressed by the company until September 2008, when a national recall was finally launched and production was halted.

The Unfolding Crisis

* October 2007: Milk suppliers began mixing melamine into raw milk. This industrial chemical was used to fake higher protein test results.

* December 2007: Sanlu received its first complaints from sick customers but kept the issue quiet.

* March 2008: The local government and Sanlu executives continued to receive reports of sick infants but delayed notifying national authorities.

* August 2008: Sanlu's New Zealand investor (Fonterra) pushed for a full public recall. Local officials refused and tried to hide the problem during the Beijing Olympic Games.

* September 2008: Fonterra bypassed local officials and alerted the New Zealand government, who then notified Beijing. Official investigations finally exposed the crisis to the world.

The Aftermath

* Late 2008: The contamination ultimately sickened nearly 300,000 children and led to multiple deaths.

* December 2008: Sanlu was declared bankrupt.

* January 2009: The company's executives and suppliers faced severe sentences, including life in prison and the death penalty for the middlemen who produced the "protein powder".

Read more about the timeline of this crisis on the Wikipedia 2008 Chinese milk scandal timeline or explore the New York Times "despite warnings" article to see how the cover-up unfolded.

***

A note from David Solt:

Chinese people used to buy up all of the infant formula that they could whenever they came to visit NZ. They would buy it off of our shelves, and take it back to China in their suitcases. And resell it or use it. We had to place limits on how much they could buy. Because Chinese people only wanted the real deal, and they wanted it from New Zealand.

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Hypothetically:

What if the years of harm and suffering from late 2006 to 2017 and then the years of being crippled from 2017 to 2022 were actually that bad.

And what if I wasn't actually a political activist or "enemy combatant" back then.

And all of this was done to a civilian non combatant.

And what if the narrative about me being a perpetrator of "domestic violence" were all lies.

And what if my marriage to Amanda has been misrepresented?

And add to that the whole situation where I went to oodles of people to get advice over my healthy, especially my own mother...

Does it then make sense that I might have said many and many times over that I don't want these women? And that perhaps the whole "game" didn't make sense...

And basically I was forced to take an interest in them. When I actually wanted to flee from all of this and have a peaceful life where I could recover and become well.

It's just food for thought. Because I need to write the whole actual story.

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Sunday, 12th July, 2026

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It would be nice if they could turn up the volume.

It would also be nice if they could change the pacing of the conversation. They speak too quickly, and don’t leave enough gaps in conversation. I want a lot slower conversation.

It would also be nice if they could totally turn off the thing which harms my back. Just totally banned from messing with my body. That is one of the main things I want.

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I grew up hearing and believing verses such as:

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

And so that is something to take into account.

And I used to listen to stuff like dc talk and the lads too. Songs like this:

https://youtu.be/m6eeDVAadBs?si=IqVwe8H8kMheI4sY

https://youtu.be/ZgfgRfDLM3k?si=NIS4g_LOgK81U4Rw

https://youtu.be/_M_df4nO6lw?si=xiE2QItCO8ZI_Y08

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Saturday, 11th July, 2026

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Next topic

A brief discussion: very slapdash

Hypothetically, what if I am deliberately arrogant, harsh or pompous inside my own head. Because it helps with clarity of thought.

But I leave other things unsaid: hypothetically speaking, love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control. Genuine concern for the wellbeing for others. Concerns about justice and injustice. Love your neighbour as yourself, golden rule, forgiveness, mercy, beliefs about sin and guilt. Compassion. Ideas about humility, pride and vanity. Ideas about what matters in life. What it means to be a good person. Whether it is good to be a good person. Whether to care about your own safety. Beliefs about pain and martyrdom. Belief about choice. Beliefs about brain images and impressions about sinful things versus choice. Whether to dwell in bad things, and if it is meaningful (or if you should do it). The importance of being annoying. Beliefs about greed. My desires to chill out and play games (video games). My willingness to toss out the women just to have a chance to rebuild my body physically. The importance of being a peacemaker. The value of books of the Bible such as Ecclesiastes and Proverbs. The importance of the sermon on the mount, 6:19-7:6 Do not store treasures, do not worry, seek first the kingdom, pay attention to your own flaws too, don't cast pearls before swine (Hihi, that's you). See also: Dealing with fools and mockers.

The Parable of the Rich Fool

Someone in the crowd said to him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Then he said to them, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions.”

And he told them this parable: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded an abundant harvest. He thought to himself, ‘What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.’

"Then he said, ‘This is what I’ll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my surplus grain. And I’ll say to myself, “You have plenty of grain laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry.”’

"But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’

"This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.”

"Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one."

don't cast pearls before swine: arguing is losing.

I dunno, that's enough.

/hypothetical

Ps: I still want to write up my life story, but I get hampered very badly!! Whenever I write they hurt me! So it’s slow going..

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If you want to understand the world then you have to read the law of Moses ten times. I'm sorry, but those are the rules.

Class structure, economic structure, economic oppression, land tenure, public health, sin, conquest, diet including how it relates to oppression. Stuff like that. Clothes and economic oppression. So much about economic inequality and exploitation, accumulation of wealth, avoiding consumerism, status games involving clothing, so much about pimping (hi Abram and Sarai). It's all in there.

And the first five books of the Bible like half a dozen times. You probably want to read up until the end of chronicles a few times too. I will admit that some of the stuff from psalms until Malachi is brutal. And so I wouldn't blame someone if they said they had read those only once.

This is only for the cognitive 2-3 percent. Most people don't need to be super educated, or don't want to be. It's all a matter of being who you want to be. And if that's what you want, you'll pursue and chase it. And develop yourself.

Uhh. Read the New Testament at least once. But skip the last book. And reread the gospel of Matthew at least once.

My personal favourites: Proverbs and Ecclesiastes. But also like Job, sort of (perversely). And a lot of the Moses stuff. And the sermon on the Mount.

How about this? What if instead of having a prophet like Moses, we democratically set for ourselves the standards for what the standards and the pseudo-religious laws should be? And then voted on it.

Actual action point…

Uhhh. If you haven’t read the law of Moses at least 2-3 times, then you’re not educated. I just don’t care about your so called “education”.

Digression: By the way, 50 books per year is a nice appropriate baseline that you might read if you think of yourself as educated. And that’s not an upper limit! You can do 100 books a year if you feel like it, or more. 30 books minimum annually might be appropriate for a pared back “lazy version”. Assuming that these are realistic and sensible numbers, it isn’t unreasonable that you should have read the law of Moses at least a few times by the age of thirty. Reading just the five books of the Bible, and doing it a few times isn’t hard or a long read!! Disclaimer: some people might prefer to learn through conversation and university lectures or podcasts or stuff from audibles “the great courses” do stuff like that. Or newspapers and periodicals. And because of that, some people could read no more than 20 book a year and still be considered okay in my eyes.

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Low effort post about philology, law and order, justice, policing and crime

https://youtu.be/q34Qxl5HINg?si=8r7RN01E61YxcCuw

Together we form a mighty...

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Faggot

Bundle of Sticks or Twigs

Meaning: The literal definition of a "faggot" (sometimes spelled fagot) is a bundle of sticks or twigs tied together, typically used as fuel. This is the word's original meaning, dating back to the Middle Ages.

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Fascist Symbol

The fasces began in ancient Rome. Bodyguards called lictors carried it for leaders. The sticks showed strength in numbers—one stick breaks easily, but a bundle does not. The axe showed the leader had the power to punish or kill.

Modern Meaning and Usage

In the 1920s, dictator Benito Mussolini chose the fasces as the main logo for his National Fascist Party in Italy. The word "fascism" actually comes from fascis, the Latin word for bundle. Mussolini wanted to link his modern government to the power of the ancient Roman Empire.

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Magistrates

In ancient Rome, a magistrate used fasces as a symbol of their judicial and executive power, called imperium. The fasces were a bundle of wooden rods tied with a leather strap, often with an axe blade sticking out. They were carried by attendants called lictors.The fasces visually warned citizens that the magistrate had the authority to keep order and punish crimes.

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My point:

In Italy, communists started gangs and engaged in asinine and deranged acts of violence and subversion. Especially, they broke and subverted and undermined the law. They defied, undermined, subverted and broke the law. And they ruined the justice system.

And so people decided to reassert the law.

Law and order are important.

And so the people formed themselves together to cooperate with law and order so that they had a lawful, well-ordered society. Individually, they were weak, but together they formed, as Martin Prince said, "a mighty faggot" that couldn't be broken!

Conclusion: I just like the Simpsons bit. It's funny.

[disclaimer: I'm just talking out of a hole in my head]

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But seriously these fascist were reacting against something. And the same is true of right wing guys in Hungary’s history. And I think history has vindicated many of the people in Hungary. See the Lenin boys and the 1956 invasion if you want to know more. And the repression, torture and murder of many normal people and activists in Hungary from 1945 to 1956.

Anyway, what if people could use democracy to get rid of bad actors to perform the same function or solve the same problems as fascists had to solve?

Like democratic labelling and banishments?

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Friday, 10th July, 2026

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The big issue is that I got crippled by these guys for 8 years. By the China/NZ set. And I was already really sick for years before that. And I suffered a lot before that too. Umm.

I think that it might be appropriate to just restore me to health, and fully and collectively bypass all other issues and opinions on the matter.

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I can't shower. And so I'm not having sex.

Whatever they want me to do. It's a moot point. As of today, it's a moot point.

Ummmm. I'd have to be healthier. Much better health before I would think of doing anything.

And then...

The trick is to... ask me nicely! Be nice to me in general, and if you went something from me, then ask me nicely. And speak plainly, and be uncomplicated.

I would need maybe twelve months to recover (I’d say between six and twelve months) but I want to avoid confusion. It would take this long to rebuild my posture. It is actually important. I would need to do mini squats and walking to rebuild my posture. And pushups and planks and lunges and calf raises. I need to do a lot.

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Unrelated:

If they totally stopped harassing me, then how long would it take before I could play first person shooters again? Comfortably and fairly competently?

Would I ever be any good?

I've never even once played natural selection two. The sequel to the greatest game ever made. And I’ve not played Halo 3 (maybe 15 minutes), I’ve never played Skyrim.

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Thoughts aren’t statements

Thoughts that flow through my mind are not statements. They're just thoughts. Just because you can read them, it doesn't mean that they're statements.

The way to do it is that you think things through first, and then make statements out loud, or in writing on something like a text messaging app and hit send.

You use intention.

Ummmmm. I do not intend for many of the thoughts that these guys read from my mind to be used as statements. I don't place intention behind them. I don't choose them.

And so it isn't actually appropriate to use them as statements. And to attempt to make a conversation using them is quite silly. And misleading. And misrepresents me quite badly.

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General Life History

I had been a Christian for as long as I could remember, but I had never been baptised. But at about the age of 16/17ish, I finally got baptised.

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My father

My father (allegedly) sexually molested a 10 year old Chinese girl who he was coaching in table tennis.

And yet he is still supported and defended by the CCP, Xi and this set of local women.

Ps: I said Chinese, but I think that she actually is half Chinese, half New Zealand European. And I don’t 100% have confirmation about who it is. And I don’t want to talk about it online. But I’m fairly sure that she is half Chinese half NZ European. And there are multiple charges of molestation. And multiple bail violations. And multiple trials coming up.

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Wednesday, 8th July, 2026

I just updated some stuff relating to crime.

Fraud

I mean, a lot of it is just plain fraud.

In New Zealand, fraud is a crime where someone intentionally tricks another person or organization to get money, property, or other benefits. It is legally treated as a dishonesty offense and is primarily prosecuted under the Crimes Act 1961. - from google. I have sperm for testing, not for IVF.

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Crimes Act 1961

240 Obtaining by deception or causing loss by deception

(1)

Every one is guilty of obtaining by deception or causing loss by deception who, by any deception and without claim of right,—

(a)

obtains ownership or possession of, or control over, any property, or any privilege, service, pecuniary advantage, benefit, or valuable consideration, directly or indirectly; or

(d)

causes loss to any other person.

My notes,

Fraud = up to 3 years in jail.

Fraud first, then conspiring to defeat justice (up to seven years), perjury, assault, false statement to police, false statements/perjury to mental health services, false statements to DIA, stalking. Some are Amanda and Brynn, some are Paul. They would throw the book at Amanda, because she was a police educator and also used to work for the department of internal affairs (charities commission). Paul is already facing child molestation charges and multiple bail violations.

And there is a massive paper trail. So much evidence. So many things they have done to cover it up.

I might also be able to sue fertility associates. Or they might be guilty of criminal stuff.

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Criminality and stuff

Is it illegal to lie to mental health services to get someone sectioned?

Yes, lying to mental health services to get someone sectioned is highly illegal and can lead to severe criminal charges, civil lawsuits, and professional penalties. Coercive or malicious misuse of mental health legislation is treated with extreme gravity by both the justice and healthcare systems.

Criminal Consequences

Providing false information to force an involuntary psychiatric hold can trigger multiple criminal charges:

* Perjury / False Statements: Formally applying for a mental health order or warrant requires signing official legal documents. Knowingly providing false statements on these forms is a serious criminal offense.

* Fraud / Deceit: Intentionally misleading public or medical officials to deprive a citizen of their liberty can be prosecuted as a fraudulent or deceptive offense.

* Wasting Police Time: If emergency services or police officers are dispatched based on fabricated claims of a mental health crisis, the instigator can be criminally charged.

Civil Consequences (Lawsuits)

The person who was falsely targeted can pursue significant legal action in civil court against the individual who lied:

* Malicious Prosecution: Suing for damages because an individual intentionally and maliciously initiated a legal or medical process without reasonable grounds.

* False Imprisonment: Seeking heavy financial compensation because the fabrications directly caused an unlawful deprivation of their physical liberty.

* Defamation: Suing for the severe damage caused to their personal and professional reputation.

Paul made false statements to mental health services to be able to file a section 8b. And if I can get the documents relating to Lily and IVF, it might changes things quite significantly, and he might face additional charges. Because I can say that he acted like I am crazy over the Lily thing. It might actually be a pretty strong cases.

And if he faces more charges, then he can't stay out on bail. And if no bail, his chances of getting convicted increase quite a bit. It's harder to defend yourself from jail you know!

What else...

I think that Amanda and Brynn made false statements to the DIA to prevent their releasing information about Lily and parentage. Which could potentially come back to bite them in the bum. In many ways.

Furthermore,

Conspiring to Defeat Justice (Serious Offenses)

Under Section 116 of the Crimes Act 1961, it is a major crime to conspire to obstruct, prevent, pervert, or defeat the course of justice in New Zealand or overseas.

The Penalty: Anyone convicted of this offense is liable for imprisonment for a term of up to 7 years.

Real-World Examples: This includes acts like police officers ignoring evidence, bribing or intimidating jurors/witnesses, fabricating evidence, or conspiring to hide a crime.

Conspiring to hide a crime.

I think that Amanda and Brynn are conspiring to hide a crime. And merely getting one or two pieces of paperwork from the DIA might be enough for them to do many years in jail. Especially if Brynn and Amanda sent a letter to the DIA stating that David is not to be given information about Lily and parentage. Fwiw, my theory is that because I am not Lily's guardian, that I don't have the ability to get information about her IVF stuff from the HART database. And Amanda and Brynn told them NOT to give me information.

There is so much here relating to conspiring to defeat justice... and perhaps even some stalking stuff. Just a few pictures, plane ticket records or little bits of video footage. Or even just eye witness evidence placing Brynn or Siobhan near my home in Petone or Khandallah, and then I think we are really cooking with fire...

And don’t forget the “abuse” case. Because I also have evidence of financial abuse (hiding money), physical abuse (sharp objects in the carpet to hurt me) and my testimony about waking up with small cuts underneath my eye.

And also many fake images of Lily. And using makeup. And hair dye.

But at the end of the day, it’s up to the police and prosecutors to figure out which things can be used in court and which charges to lay. I’m not a lawyer and don’t have a huge amount of experience in these matters. But many, many crimes have been committed and much paperwork still exists. And a whole infant (toddler) human.

And after all of this, there is some civil stuff. I could sue multiple people. Including fertility associates and Brynn and Amanda. Possibly my father also. Fertility Associates has deep pockets. They’re a significant medical clinic and very complicit. So much could be found out in “discovery”. They could be in deep trouble.

Furthermore, the department of internal affairs could be in some trouble. For denying me access to information. And I might be able to sue my lawyer for a few things.

There is so much stuff.

As I have said so many times, it’s not primarily about my political theories or ideas about engineering, it’s far more about the criminal issues, IVF and suing for money. I would be far happier with a seven figure settlement from someone like fertility associates than with a billion dollars of fake money from these silly CCP dudes.

And I would actually like to have custody of Lily.

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Language and thought

Chinese language and culture have been characterized as impediments to abstract thinking.

They are.

Learn English, French, German, Italian, Spanish or Japanese instead.

The precise definitions and grammatical markers and grammatical rules seem to help.

Glhf

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Abstract thinking in general

If after that you want to get better at abstract thinking then you might try some of the following things...

First get into the habit of writing every day. Write by hand and don't use short hand. Write in a diary. Talk all about what you did that day. Start the entry with the words "dear diary". Try writing letters to other people, and to yourself in the future. Or to people you'll never send them to. Start writing short stories and even sometimes essays. Try writing poetry, even if it isn't very good.

Secondly, learn to play a variety of card games and board games. Get good at them. Later on, you should play at least half a dozen computer games to completion. And perhaps play a dungeons and dragons campaign all the way through. Or play a similar rpg.

Thirdly, do a few grades of piano. Do the tests for practical and theory.

Fourth, read a lot. Read a lot. Lots and lots.

Five. Study the history of science, technology and engineering. And study the history of economics (don't laugh, it's well worthwhile).

Sixth, study science, technology and economics. Learn all about engineering.

Seventh, learn math. And statistics. And Boolean algebra. Also, you should learn information science, and computer science, and introductory programming. Make a video game or two.

Eighth, fool around with electronics.

Nine, learn to draft plans for a physical project. Learn technical drawing and how to make plans.

Tenth, do a little bit of computer graphics and artwork

Eleventh, learn all about the history of mathematics.

Twelfth, read nation by Terry Pratchett.

Thirteenth, learn the techniques of quick reading and fast reading. And speed reading. And summary reading. Or basically learn to read.

Fourteen, read quickly 2-3 books about the scientific method (it's broader than you think).

Fifteen, develop a real and genuine love of language.

Sixteen, learn about language development and anthropology

Seventeen, debate and argument. It helps to sharpen the mind.

Eighteen, learn grammar. Or improve your grammar skills. There’s actually a ton of stuff in the past about it. I used to do a ton back in the ACE system.

Nineteen, look at an ancient language a smidge.

Twenty, look at the translation of the Bible.

Twenty one, really really look at some engineering history. Some materials science also. Look at the difference between the abstract, and the real. Like…. Beams! Beam theory! Difference between the abstract item and the real!! Look at physics itself, and see the difference between the abstract and the real. What is potential, gravitational and kinetic energy. Are these “real” things, or just a way of thinking about things.

Twenty two, learn about measurement theory. And the history of measurement.

Twenty three, learn another metric system. And learn about the first dictionary and the first encyclopedia.

Twenty four, And read 50 books a year for five years. Some people would tell you to read a book a day, or that they used to do that. But imo, anything more than two books a week isn’t necessary. People like Gates, Buffett, Page, Brin, Jobs, Woz, Rick Warren*, many people like this will read megatons of books. They might read 2-4 per week, or more! Reading changes you. Entrepreneurs read a lot. The truth is that I forget which thinkers, doers, leaders and entrepreneurs do this, but many of them read like they’re eating hot dogs at a hot dog eating contest.

Twenty five, learn about the theory behind statistics. How it works is what I mean. And learn a bit about how referencing works. Like apa or Chicago style. Learn about police investigations too. And a little bit about law. Learn about the theory/practise of how you make tables all about tensile strengths and toughness of materials. Learn about valuation in commerce and accounting.

Twenty six, learn about the difference between the image and the reality. Especially learn about photography. But also learn about microscopes and telescopes. And learn about radio telescopes and electron microscopes.

Twenty seven, learn about Rutherford and the gold foil experiments. And exactly how it worked. And also learn about Maurice Wilkins and the equipment used to measure stuff.

That'll do for now.

*Rick Warren: He is a pastor and writer. He is now retired. He used to be the pastor of the biggest church in California (I don’t like the term mega church). His best selling work the purpose driven life is often referred to as the most widely-purchased non-fiction book after the Bible. Mao’s little red book may have had more copies made and distributed, but to be fair the CCP had a captive audience… Rick Warren is quite unwell, and I think that it’s due to satellites. I included his name in that list, because he was a _fanatical_ reader which I found out because I used to listen to his ministry podcast, since memory holed.

Why get better at abstract thinking?

Answer: it helps with problem solving. It’s another tool in the tool kit!

Later on… visualisation! And imagination.

Then creativity, and brainstorming.

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Intelligence: English vs Chinese

Did Lee Kuan Yew speak English as his first language?

Yes, English was Lee Kuan Yew's first language. He grew up in an English-speaking household and was given the English name "Harry". He learned Mandarin, Malay, and Hokkien much later in life as an adult to connect with his electorate and heritage.

Here are a few quick facts about his language journey:

Early Education: He attended British-run colonial schools, including Raffles Institution.

University: He studied law at the University of Cambridge in the UK.

Bilingualism Policy: He later made English the official working and educational language of Singapore, while pushing citizens to learn their "mother tongue" to preserve their cultural identity.

The smartest and most competent Chinese leader the world has ever seen (so far) spoke English as his first language. The English language makes you smarter, and having Mandarin Chinese as your first language makes you dimmer and less competent.

I will stop shy of saying the only worthwhile leader that the Chinese ethnic group has ever produced spoke English as their first language, because perhaps there are other competent and worthwhile leaders amongst the Chinese that I've never heard of. Such as in Taiwan perhaps.

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Tuesday, 7th July, 2026

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Full text of the wedding service, if you haven’t seen it. Including vows

https://www.webador.com/v2/website/6530479/editor/page/36368207

There is a pdf with the full text, and images also with the full text. I know that a lot of people don’t click links to open or download pdfs. You lose something like 80% of people sometimes when there are a couple of links and a download.

Minister was Mike Hocking, long term family friend. Amanda’s father Darryl did a reading from 1 Corinthians 13. He was a minister at the local Anglican Church for years.

Uncle Andy, Uncle Jonathan, both of my parents, Uncle David, Aunty Wendy, Matthew, Darryl, Nana, Grandma and Grandpa, not Papa, Jenna, Ben Jack, Nathan, Shane, Lesley, Aaron, Phillip, Jesse, Megan Jones, Allison Jones, Simon Jones, Terry Shubkin, Natalie Bowles, Ken Bowles, Ben and Andrew brewer. Tim and Monica, one infant. Uncle David's girlfriend. Vivian, Scott Thompson, Arnold.

We had about 50 guests. But I forget exactly who was there.

Jess Mackenzie and David Walker were invited but didn't come.

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Sanlu and Melamine

Did you know that the Chinese used to add melamine to their milk to trick the testing process and regulatory regime into thinking that their milk had higher levels of protein than it did?

They could literally have done the same thing by just adding whey protein. And killed no one. And injured zero children’s kidneys for life.

Literally the whole Sanlu kidney damage and death thing was all about protein powder. Do they add protein powder to their infant’s formula, to bring it up to standard? Or do they add melamine to it to trick the tests? As it so happens, they fractionated out the protein to sell to western body builders and gym enthusiasts and then fed their infants literal poison.

Poison by the truck load.

Instead of whey protein powder.

By the way, this is melamine:

We use it in furniture and kitchen cabinetry.

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Education (opinion):

Mathematics isn't the language of the universe.

Language is.

Get better at language. First.

And then get into abstract thinking. Just get better at abstract thinking.

Work at it! Do lots and lots of stuff to get better at it. And there are many ways to do this. There is more than one way to skin a cat!

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Ahahahhahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahhaahahahahhahahahhahahahahhahah.

So the Chinese actually think that mathematics is the important bit!?!

The bit that makes science happen?

Ahahahaha

Did they actually believe it when people said that “mathematics is the language of nature” 😅

🥲🥲🥲

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Monday, 6th July, 2026

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Creatine and protein powder

A brief note on creatine and protein powder

My mother suffered from kidney failure when she was young. Maybe 16ish, and has a kidney transplant when she was 19. She was on dialysis for quite a while.

She is a kidney patient.

Umm.

My belief and understanding is that creatine and protein powder can be bad for the kidneys. They put too much load on the kidneys. Something like that.

The "party line" on fitness is that it's all good. And nothing wrong with those supplements. But I don't know.

And on the whole I just don't love it.

I also think that people perhaps overall devote too much of themselves and sacrifice too much and push too hard with exercise just often for aesthetic reasons. And I'm not sure that's the best way to live. Vanity, along with pride and vainglory used to considered a sin.

Just as an aside, I do think that regular workouts at the gym, especially for weights or resistance training are really good. For example, going to the gym three times per week to lift weights and use machines and do some bodyweight exercises. And I think that it's a personal decision as to how intense that these workouts should be*.

*I think light-moderate weights/resistance training can probably be epic and ideal for a lot of people though, and not every workout has to be "lift heavy" and "high intensity" and "progressive overload". Second personal opinion, is that you can do just fine as a normal person in terms of weights/resistance training with pretty light-moderate stuff at home, especially when this is paired with a bit of light cardio such as cycling and walking, and maybe some super light sports like table tennis, badminton, tennis or cricket. Not everything in life has to be high intensity. A modest approach to fitness is awesome.

Random note: I know someone who broke her foot and had two hip replacements and a spinal surgery. All of which seem to have been related to excessive "trail running" and other fitness activities. She was a very driven person. These things take their toll.

I also know someone (an uncle) who took a knee to the ribs in an association football match, broke a rib, punctured a lung and started to drown on his own blood.

I know people who have destroyed their knees running (although they wouldn't admit it).

Sports and fitness can sometimes have downsides! As well as massive, massive upsides!

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Personally, I liked pushing myself with fitness.

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Some History

Presidential Instruction No. 14/1967 (Inpres No. 14/1967), enacted during Indonesia's New Order regime, enforced the cultural assimilation of Chinese Indonesians. It banned Chinese religious festivals, beliefs, and traditions in public. All religious practices and cultural expressions were strictly restricted to private, indoor, or household settings. Additionally, the legislation effectively prohibited the display of Chinese characters.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legislation_on_Chinese_Indonesians

This Wikipedia page is interesting, and worth reading, especially for New Zealanders and Australians.

Presidential Instruction No. 14/1967 (Inpress No. 14/1967) on Chinese Religion, Beliefs, and Traditions effectively banned any Chinese literature and cultures in Indonesia, including the prohibition of Chinese characters.

As part of 1967's 'Basic Policy for the Solution of the Chinese Problem' and other measures, only one Chinese-language newspaper was allowed to continue, all Chinese religious expressions had to be confined to their homes, Chinese-language schools were phased out, Chinese script in public places was banned, and Chinese were pushed to take on Indonesian-sounding names. These laws lasted for 31 years.

These are just some examples of how Asian peoples interact with one another.

Also, don't forget that the communist party of Indonesia was once very large and very significant. And then they tried to have a revolution by attacking and killing multiple generals. The revolution, which was supposed to be a decentralised uprising triggered by this attack on the generals, never occurred.

Also:

On 10 December 1959, Peking Radio announced a campaign for ethnic Chinese to return to "The Warmth of Motherland". The Chinese embassy soon listed thousands Chinese citizens interested in returning to China. About 199,000 applied, but only 102,000 managed to be placed in a ship sent by the PRC government.

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Speaking of want, I wanted to study science…

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Imagine being you. And crippling a civilian non combatant. For 8 years.

And then being offended and upset when he “disrespects” you by pointing out that you're a dunderhead and a bit of an idiot from a nation of fellow silly people (not all of them!).

(And at the same time, he uses his hobby of being an ideas guy and passion for amateur engineering/invention/science to scare you a little bit by inventing something to defend and help your favourite victims.)

Offended by his words, yet you crippled him for years.

****

I need to sort out some forms for welfare. I need to sort out some forms for getting more medical notes. I then hope to write up more of my life story. I am quite unwell at the moment. I am also thinking about doing a proper “basic fit” (lol), but I am not sure if I have the energy or capacity. What else? I hope to redo general disambiguation sometime.

I should write up a history of how they dragged, pushed or pulled me into sex games.

What else?

Maybe I should write a history of sky city as well. And how I said that Xi should avoid associating with these lunatic New Zealanders who crippled me for 7 years (at the time I didn't know that Xi and the CCP were behind it since early on, and has supported crippling me). I also said that crippling someone for 7 years constituted a very serious form of torture. Especially given that I was unable to read, socialise, wash or go for walks. Also, my arms were pinioned to my sides for years. He then took exception to my describing this as torture (the 7 years), and attacked me. Damaging me fairly badly. Again, I didn't know that his set were jointly responsible for what had happened to me. I don't remember exactly which day I was in sky city. This was when I had just got to Auckland.

Also, the things they do ruin the connection between my rib cage and my shoulders and also collar bones. And the connection between my legs and torso. It's hard to explain. So many things are ruined by the things they do.

****

Anal Sex

By the way, they all but told me that I was obliged to do anal sex.

When it came to Dasha, I said nah.

But they kept on pushing it.

I skipped it with Louisa.

I just didn't feel like doing it!

And then things with Robyn were suboptimal. I guess. And it was a bit of a mishap. But I don't think she suffered any real harm.

Also, I was very drunk at the time. I might have had about 12 drinks that day. Tequila and pints of lager mostly. And while I was mentally lucid inside my mind, I was perhaps a bit impaired overall.

I had been drinking a lot every day. It was the only time these people would leave me alone. It was the only time incident 10-20 minutes alone.

There were three women that I slept with.

Note: I should probably write a blow by blow account of things. I need to write up a blow-by-blow account of Dasha, Louisa and Robyn. And an explanation. And another page about anal sex (it doesn’t sound like my cup of tea to be honest!). And lastly I should probably write up a blow-by-blow account of the “music thing”, which is where they coerced me in Khandallah and then in Hutt road into expressing an interest in these women, and in chasing them.

Ps: gist level truth above, not quibble truth. And I’m painting broad brush strokes sort of.

Just added: Anal sex seems like the type of thing to me which I would try 2-3 times and probably never do it again. I actually don't really see it as being all that important of an issue.

***

Added on Tuesday

Back about 2ish years ago, they kept on telling me via hints and indirect speech that I needed to have anal sex. They said that I needed mud. (Remember that this is “gist-level-truth” not “quibble-proof-level-truth”).

And also back maybe 2 years ago, or a little less, I was told that in order to win (and therefore have the women, money and “magic wand”) that I would have to do something more than normal sex. I had been telling them that I just wanted to do “girl on top”… normal sex? And they had got sick of hearing it so much that they insisted that it had to be anal or a burger to get a “win”. Ummmmm. I just wanted a token amount of sex with someone nice, so that I could make a full recovery.

I forget exactly when certain things were, but I think that it was back about 2 and a half years ago for the first one, and maybe two years ago for the second one.

****

Humour

Do you understand the New Zealand sense of humour?

There is a lot of irony and sarcasm.

The irony is often delivered deadpan.

There is also a fair bit of self deprecating humour.

New Zealander also like to playfully "take the Mickey" out of people who take themselves too seriously.

Kiwis love downplaying situations. For example, if you are caught in a massive flood, a local might simply greet you by saying, "Bit wet out there, isn't it?". This aspect of our sense of humour might be delivered in an understated manner, and dead pan.

Hunt for the Wilderpeople (by Taika Waititi) or a series like Flight of the Conchords might help. But then again, maybe not. You might also try just learning about the English sense of humour as well.

****

Self Esteem

Some people had this idea that I had low self esteem. I'm not sure where this idea came from.

As a child and in my teens, I knew I was a genius. And could probably do great things in terms of science, inventions or engineering or business. Or video game design.

I knew from a young age that I had higher than normal capacity for cognitive and intellectual work.

And so I was fairly confident that I could do some interesting things and do them well.

I know I was a genius.

And I felt quite strongly that if I applied myself to some sort of field, that I could probably succeed. I also felt that even as a part time hobby I could be a successful inventor. Even largely self taught.

I had a lot of belief in my own ability and potential.

I'm not even sure that the idea of self esteem makes sense. Just like I'm not sure that the idea of the "ego" makes sense. I dislike both of those ideas and concepts in general.

***

I also had a lot of Christian ideas like, "whatever you do, so it all to the glory of God."

I wanted to try to do good things in the world.

I imagined myself as a person who invented things and started businesses. And succeeded at both. And I knew I needed skills in both invention (science and engineering) as well as business.

***

I'm just not sure how to get across to people that I had a high level of confidence in my own abilities, excellence and potential. I was a genius.

I didn't just think I could do great and good things with my mind. But I knew that I could do great and excellent things with my mind.

I need to find a way to express that without sacrificing all humility.

****

Perspective

A lot of you get the wrong impression of me, because you hear the inside of my mind. The inside of my mind is a harsh place. But my actual wants and intentions are not so harsh.

Also, I structure my inner world differently to other people.

Some people talk of the heart. I would rather talk of decisions. For examples, does kindness or compassion come solely from the heart? No. It comes from choosing to believe that those things matter. Choice.

Choosing to do good in the world, that's a choice. And analysing it and then doing it, you just do it. You just say, I want to do good. And then figure out how to do it intellectually.

Also, the inside of my mind is sarcastic in tone. Or there is a lot of deadpan irony.

****

Christianity and humility

I adopted a lot of ideas of humility.

I believed in humility. In a round about way. If you analyse it too hard, your brain will explode. But I did. This is gist-level truth, not quibble proof truth.

I also felt that to have a "gift" of intelligence. Or to be "gifted" intellectually was to just give you the ability to serve others. Your duty was to use it for other people.

****

Conclusion:

And so the idea that I had low self esteem is probably rubbish and should be thrown out.

I just wanted to clear up some issues or matters on the topic of self esteem. That's all.

Other people have said or asserted lame things which I think are rubbish.

****

Sunday, 5th July, 2026

****

From Wikipedia:

In 1987, Abdus Salam declared that "Dirac was undoubtedly one of the greatest physicists of this or any century ... No man except Einstein has had such a decisive influence, in so short a time, on the course of physics in this century." In 1995, Stephen Hawking stated that "Dirac has done more than anyone this century, with the exception of Einstein, to advance physics and change our picture of the universe." Antonino Zichichi asserted that Dirac had a greater impact on modern physics than Einstein while Stanley Deser remarked that "We all stand on Dirac's shoulders."

Nahhhhhhhhhhh. Rutherford was better.

Ahahahhahahhahaha. They want to downplay the achievements of the New Zealander and best physicist of the 20th century.

Also from Wikipedia:

Dirac repeatedly emphasized the role of mathematical beauty in physics. For Dirac, mathematical beauty was both a quality of nature and a useful methodological guide for the physicist. When trying to mathematically formulate a law of nature, he thought that physicists should aim for beauty. When evaluating whether a theory should be accepted, he thought that mathematical beauty could and did play a role. For example, in a 1939 lecture, he argued that the mathematically beautiful statement of the general theory of relativity was one of the reasons it was accepted.

Ahahhahahahhahahahhaha. Lame. Lame. Lame. Look at the life story of Rutherford, and Faraday. And look at measurement theory, and look at experiments. And look at how advancements in the technology to measure and analyse things affects advancements in discovery, which then results in new models and theories.

Like... new tech for analysing and imagine what came to be known as DNA. Or better chronometers. Or more precise engineering of instruments in general. Like.. engineering precise equipment helps to make discovery! And also just look at the history of science and engineering in general. And the history of invention.

****

I trained myself from 2017 to 2021 to remain calm. Especially relative to health issues. Like, don’t get stressed out or over excited or it causes symptoms and makes me unwell.

I actually probably trained myself from like.. 2013-2017 too?

Don't ask why/how.

****

How many people with Down Syndrome learn to read? What proportion?

While there is no official U.S. census tracking this exact statistic, educational researchers and advocacy groups estimate that a substantial majority (typically 70% to 80%) of individuals with Down syndrome in the United States acquire functional literacy skills to varying degrees.

***

How many people in China knew how to read in the 1930s? What proportion?

In the 1930s, the overall literacy rate in China was estimated to be only about 20% to 25%. The vast majority of the population—particularly in rural areas where roughly 80% of the people lived—remained illiterate, as formal education was typically a privilege reserved for wealthy elites and the urban gentry.

***

Uhhhhh.

Education...

I guess it changes things? And I guess the world has changed!?!?!?

So much is possible!?!?!?? It's not this group vs that group!?!?! So many things are open to change and improvement on planet earth!?!?!

Butttt

Did you know that the system is dumbing you down on purpose?

****

I don't want a society of brothels! Like India used to be!

In ancient India, particularly during the Mauryan Empire, the sex trade was a state-regulated institution and a vital source of tax revenue. Brothels were legally controlled by a government official called the Ganikadhyaksha (Superintendent of Prostitutes), who maintained a strict system of registration, taxation, and price controls.

The ancient Indian approach to government-regulated brothels is best documented in statecraft and social treatises. Key characteristics of the system include:

1. Kautilya’s Arthashastra (c. 3rd Century BCE)

The Mauryan state took an aggressively bureaucratic approach to sex work, viewing courtesans (Ganikas) and public women (Rupajivas) as necessary for court life, state income, and intelligence gathering.

* State Licensing & Revenue: Brothels were registered, and operators had to pay specific taxes (often a designated portion of their earnings).

* The Superintendent: The Ganikadhyaksha recorded the names, residential addresses, and earnings of all prostitutes and bawds. This official also dictated legal fees, enforced rules of conduct, and arbitrated disputes between courtesans and their clients.

* State Employment: Highly accomplished courtesans (ganikas) were appointed to royal courts and earned a government salary, which included allowances for clothing, jewelry, and their retinues. [

* Spies: Brothels were routinely utilized by the state as intelligence networks. Female spies and informants were employed by the government to extract secrets from wealthy visitors and foreign officials.

2. The Hierarchy of Sex Workers

Ancient texts, including the Kamasutra and legal commentaries, divided sex work into distinct classes:

* Ganikas: The highest-ranking, elite courtesans. They were highly educated in the 64 classical arts (Chausath Kala) and enjoyed high societal status, sometimes even acting as esteemed "City Brides" (Nagarvadhu).

* Vesyas & Rupajivas: Lower and middle-tier women who functioned as independent sex workers or brothel workers without the elite artistic training.

3. State Protections and Strict Discipline

The government provided protections to licensed sex workers, imposing heavy fines on clients who assaulted them or refused to pay for services. Conversely, the state placed strict demands upon them. If a courtesan became too old or unable to work, she was often employed by the state in service capacities—such as working in royal storehouses or as spinners in state-run textile factories.

Detailed discussions on how these establishments were managed can be explored in the Kautilya Arthashastra - Chapter 27 and through analyses provided by World History Encyclopedia.

I don't want a society where women are forced either to become controlled wives or prostitutes. No offence meant to India, that's not what this above thing is about. But I just don't want that kind of society. There used to be so many prostitutes in India. It's awful. Just awful.

And I don't want a society like Edo Japan (exploited prostitutes everywhere). I also dislike the Buddhist idea of the "sorrowful, fleeting world" where you just have to scoop up as much pleasure as possible while you're here. Anyway, exploitative societies full of prostitutes. I don't love it.

And also, these societies are very, very repressive towards the poor and are extraordinarily classist. They are soooooooo awful to the poor and lower class.

That's what Christianity came into the world to rescue people from. And I think perhaps Islam. But anyway. Here we are.

I don't like the idea of turning the world into an exploitative open air brothel where women are treated like commodities and classism runs rampant and the poor are oppressed and badly mistreated. Stuff like that.

/low effort post over

/gist-level-truth used, not quibble proof..

****

What if women could pledge to stay single and celibate, but also chose to be moral and do some good works. And then in return received significant housing subsidies and tax breaks. Maybe even subsidies for things like clothes, shoes or food. That way they don’t need men to help them pay the bills or make ends meet. But they can still lead decent lives?

And maybe push their normal working week to 32.5 hours per week? And maybe (don’t hate me for this) recognise that a day off when they have their period isn’t a stupid idea (a lot of Indians and maybe Indonesians do this in NZ, I can’t remember who exactly though!!). And don’t hate me for this either, but I think that the laws requiring equal pay for men and women might go away some day. But I think subsidies for women and tax breaks too, those are good ideas.

Being offensive: As a former economics student (virtually an economics major, and I was an economics FANATIC) I feel that it’s important to say the thing that causes the offence. And in the whole, I feel that women just aren’t as effective or useful as men in many cases. Especially in trades, engineering, military roles, policing roles, scientific problem solving and other similar areas. They’re also more prone to causing drama. And they’re much less effective as parents. But maybe if the world changes, we need to find a way to top them up in terms of resources. By the way, male dominated jobs are underpaid. Very, very badly underpaid compared to unisex or women’s work, if you believed in the idea that people should be paid what their labour is truly “worth”, which I don’t. But if you measured it in money, they’re very, very undervalued. Male tradesmen are way, way, way more useful than women service workers and take more damage. And also more useful than women professionals.

****

I can't even just relax by pacing back and forth through my house while listening to music. And I can't just sit and listen to music.

This is ridiculous and absurd.

****

Low effort post

By the way, the boxer revolution was all about killing Christians. Which is why when relief efforts in the form of an 8 nation army were sent to relieve the siege (and restore order and restore peace) they were required to pay such significant fees.

What else? The exorbitant fees crippled the Manchu empire, which then fell (Cambridge public health officials also released the black plague into Manchuria and did lockdowns, to create a diversion as well).

But then later the Chinese Republic had a lot of the debts (not all) written off. Some of the debts they reneged on.

Some of the debts were written off only on the condition that the money be spent on education.

****

Education?

Sooooo. Who runs the world?? The answer is... educationalists. Sort of. But not really. Maybe it's universities, educationalists, public health and those who deal in abstraction and abstract thinking and teach people and "manufacture knowledge". And then use technology and science to try to make sure that they maintain a monopoly on.. on what? Perhaps the training of the human mind and nervous system? Maintain a monopoly on education? Or similar? They want to shape generation after generation??

A society of school masters. Ugh. Ugh, ack, arg. And they're dumbing everyone down. It's disgusting. What if you're an inventive, creative person and the educationalists want to somehow slow you down. Ack. Arrrrgggggg.

Relax, I’m just spitballing ideas.

****

Also, I always used to say, “never let your schooling get in the way of your education”.

Ideas for education:

“Read, read, read”

And go to the library.

Buy books on Amazon

Free university lectures

Great courses Amazon.

Podcasts

Argue and debate

Read wikipedia

Schools are good too

****

I might actually know a lot about thinking. And quite a bit about using abstractions when I think, and abstract thinking, and reasoning things out using abstract thought. And the limitations and uses of many of these sorts of things.

****

Don't forget this, that the Chinese people are people who would blow a dam and kill half a million of their own people (and displace millions more) just to achieve brief tactical advantage.

They don't even value the lives of their own people. Why should they value yours?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1938_Yellow_River_flood

****

Saturday, 4th July, 2026

I have been interested in engineering and science, especially physics and materials science, for a long time. It was a significant area of interest for me over many years. I used to read books, listen to lectures, read encyclopedia entries and work hard to understand these things. I worked to improve my understanding and abilities in these areas.

****

Life Story: notes

I’m just writing my life story at the moment. It’s slow going because I keep on getting interrupted!! But here is one of the notes that I plan to include.

Notes: I loved my father. Here is a clip of us together when I was young (about 14). It gives a good example of what we were like together and what our relationship was like and how close we were. Note: I was acting silly because we had a video camera and because I was young and because digital video cameras were new! Or new to me! Or something like that! I know that this reaches way back into the past, but I wanted to put it somewhere.

https://youtu.be/otgRKVXKrnU?si=a9RVkLZ1DK6m1d3F

The image quality clears up 20 seconds in.

****

Throw Brynn and Siobhan away like trash

Paul Solt has been charged with child molestation and I think that he did it. Siobhan and Brynn were sleeping with him even when they knew he was guilty. And I think that this is highly unappealing and highly unattractive. I think they still might be involved with him. I think that they are still sleeping with him and supplying him with women. I feel that this is gross and disgusting.

And they were covering for him and supporting him. I think that they still are.

He is currently out on bail waiting for his trial. As one of his bail conditions, he is required to remain living at his mother’s house. He is confined to his mother’s place.

I don't want to have Brynn and Siobhan in my life. They're too gross. Sleeping with a known child molester is not exactly a turn on! Can I toss them out like trash!?

My belief is that the girl he molested was ten years old and Asian.

He was coaching her in table tennis at the time.

This is the type of man the Chinese Communist Party uses as a “subcontractor”. They should be ashamed of themselves.

Brynn and Siobhan are unacceptable to me. I have rejected them.

This is not the first time that I have said this.

****

Thursday, 2nd July, 2026

The biggest issue

The biggest issue is still that they crippled me from the year 2017 to 2024. Seven years.

I have also now been crippled again for about another 14 months.

****

Voluntary Exit

Uhhhh. Can the Chinese just voluntarily just exit my life?

Seriously, just quit my life totally.

And totally quit the lives of Siobhan, Brynn, Paul, Matthew, Tedge, Amanda, Anna, Sarah, Jesse, Angela, Grace, Ambika, and ban Grant Robertson from conversation of any kind with Chinese communists for 3 months.

And forget any nonsense about being a knight in shining armour and helping these women. You’re not Lancelot or Galahad. Besides, I despise chivalry, romanticism (the movement itself, which was just reactionary nonsense against the Industrial Revolution) and the story of King Arthur and the knights of Camelot. All of that rot is nonsense. It’s just rubbish.

****

Wednesday, 1st July, 2026

****

Ernest Rutherford

If you love science, then you should read all about Sir Ernest Rutherford. He is amazing. He is better than Einstein. In fact, Einstein related propaganda was used to steal attention away from men like Rutherford.

If you love science, then you should read a biography about Sir Ernest Rutherford. Buy one and read one straight away. He is quite possibly the best physicist of the 20th century.

https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/039305750X?ref_=mr_referred_us_au_nz

***

Sir Ernest Rutherford

Ernest Rutherford (1871–1937) was a pioneering New Zealand-born physicist widely regarded as the "father of nuclear physics". His most monumental contributions to science transformed our understanding of atomic structure and radioactivity.

His groundbreaking discoveries are detailed below:

1. The Atomic Nucleus (1911)

Rutherford's most famous achievement was discovering the atomic nucleus. Through his iconic Gold Foil Experiment (conducted with assistants Hans Geiger and Ernest Marsden), he fired alpha particles at a thin sheet of gold foil.

* The Discovery: While most alpha particles passed straight through, a tiny fraction deflected at extreme angles or bounced straight back.

* The Conclusion: He deduced that the atom is mostly empty space. Nearly all of the atom's mass and its positive charge are concentrated in a tiny, dense core—which he named the nucleus. This replaced the previously accepted "plum pudding" model.

2. Discovery of the Proton (1917–1919)

While experimenting with nitrogen gas, Rutherford observed that hydrogen nuclei were being knocked out of the nitrogen atoms by alpha particles.

* The Conclusion: He correctly identified these ejected particles as fundamental building blocks of the nucleus and named them protons. This marked the first successful artificial splitting of the atom.

3. Classification of Radiation (1899)

While investigating uranium, Rutherford discovered that radioactive emissions are complex and contain multiple types of rays. He identified and named:

* Alpha particles: Positively charged particles, which he and Thomas Royds later proved were actually helium nuclei.

* Beta particles: Lightweight, negatively charged particles. (He later identified gamma rays as high-energy electromagnetic waves).

4. Radioactive Decay Theory (1902)

Working alongside chemist Frederick Soddy, Rutherford advanced the groundbreaking theory that radioactivity is the disintegration of atoms.

* The Concept: They discovered that radioactive elements decay into other elements over time and introduced the concept of the radioactive half-life.

Legacy

Rutherford's profound work in nuclear physics and his conceptualization of the Rutherford Model of the atom earned him the 1908 Nobel Prize in Chemistry. You can explore his life, academic awards, and legacy further on NZHistory.

****

Sarah (my fae-dregvant “lawyer”)

I actually said many times inside my own head that even if Sarah (lawyer) and I were married, faithful, evangelical fundamentalist Christians (and divorce was not an option) that I would tire quite quickly of having sex with her. And then end up just having sex with her out of duty so that she wouldn't feel unloved and unwanted.

I had this thought experiment inside my head many times, and it was long before I knew that they could read my thoughts.

She was a perfectly normal looking chick, but she had this “smart girl” vibe to her that made her a little bit unattractive to me. She was tall and slim with brown hair. She had freckles, which weren’t a big deal. And a slightly annoying voice. She was quiet and (I thought) studious. She was one of the best academic performers in our year and I had often wondered if my life would have been different if I had picked one of them to date in high school (Sarah, Emma, Catherine).

And so she is out to get me.

Added later: she just wasn’t appealing. And I couldn’t figure out why.

****

Monday, 29th June, 2026

One of the biggest issues is that these people can't admit that they crippled me for seven years using science fiction technology so that they could torture me and control me so that I would give them babies (or give their associates babies). And they also can't admit that there was also tons of money involved, and that they did it for the money.

As for the Chinese part of the set, they can't admit that they funded it and that they are co-responsible for the situation.

Both parts of the set can't admit that it was effectively medical experimentation for the sake of torture, using high tech science fiction weapons.

And so conversations broke down a long time ago.

****

By the way, I tried to have this conversation with Xi back in sky city (this was before the Copthorne hotel thing). I told him that this set of New Zealanders were totally insane, and that he shouldn't get mixed up with them, and that it would ruin his career. I also told him that they had tortured me for six years by crippling me. And he took exception to the use of the word "torture", and attacked me. I responded by calling him a "piece of shit rat bastard". And told him that attacking me could quite possibly result in his total destruction. Which I later took back. We also went through a thought experiment where I mentioned that the sort of approach a guy like me takes is that he tries to make peace, and tries to create a just outcome, but if the other person doesn't want to be sensible, he might allow harm and wrongdoing occur, and use that wrongdoing to totally destroy the other person. Or to otherwise push towards other goals and aims.

But anyway.

He got really angry and attacked me for pointing out that to cripple someone for 6 years using hyper high tech weapons is a form of torture. He got really upset about my word choice!?!?!?? What a weirdo!!

^ this has been a quick off the cuff statement.

Now I have to get back to writing my life story.

Glhf

****

A favourite quote of mine by Terry Pratchett:

All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.

Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

This whole book, and the series actually analyses and discusses a lot of moral theory and philosophy quite nicely. The book is Hogfather, and it is from the Discworld series.

You'll learn more from guys like Sir Terry Pratchett than you might think. I also learned a ton about science and the theory of knowledge from his stuff.

****

Sunday, 28th June, 2026

A discussion on class, sex work and oppression in Rome, and the role of Christianity relative to this

I can't prove this, but I think that in Rome lower class women basically had to service the men of the household. They did involuntary sex work.

And then low-ish class women probably had to service local men, in exchange for enough "gifts", clout, protection and other resources to function. But also they were semi coerced into it by the patronage system.

The class system of Rome, and the level of concentration of wealth was obscene and absurd.

And women had a raw deal in Rome. A lot has been forgotten or edited out.

Which is why Christianity was so popular among women in the Roman Empire. It gave them a new way of life. Christianity is so pro-women and so popular with women that in the second century it was derided as a woman's religion. Same is true in England and America.

****

From Google:

Christianity was first mocked as a religion of women, children, and the lower classes in the second-century Roman Empire by pagan critics like the philosopher Celsus. Celsus criticized the faith as a "woman's religion" because its message of compassion and equality widely appealed to marginalized Greco-Roman women.

Key Historical Details:

* The Critic: The second-century pagan philosopher Celsus wrote a polemic titled The True Word around AD 170–180. In it, he mocked Christians for primarily converting the uneducated, slaves, women, and children.

* Another Critic: Similarly, the Roman orator Marcus Cornelius Fronto (whose writings were preserved by the apologist Minucius Felix) derided Christians for gathering "gullible women" and "the ignorant dregs of society".

* The Reason: Early Christianity directly challenged Roman patriarchal norms. Because early churches frequently met in private households—a domain where Greco-Roman women held domestic authority—women often took on leadership roles like patronage, teaching, and the deaconate.

* The Demographic: Sociological research, such as the estimates by Rodney Stark, suggests that up to two-thirds of the Christian community in the second century was composed of women, directly contradicting the demographic makeup of the broader Roman world.

****

Meditation

I learned about Dzogchen meditation, aka the "great perfection" from the Sam Harris podcast. And also tried Vipassana meditation using the headspace application for 7 weeks. Which was actually quite fun.

****

From Google:

Sam Harris approaches Dzogchen (the "Great Perfection") as a direct, secular path to self-transcendence. Rather than viewing it as a religious Tibetan tradition requiring belief in rebirth, he teaches it as a neurological shortcut to recognizing the selfless, empty, and luminous nature of consciousness.

The Core Philosophy

* Primordial Awakening: Unlike traditional Vipassana (insight) meditation, which often focuses on years of disciplined effort to calm the mind, Dzogchen asserts that the ultimate nature of your mind is already perfect. You do not need to manufacture enlightenment; you simply need to recognize what is already there.

* Looking for the Looker: Harris frequently emphasizes the "headlessness" exercise popularized by Douglas Harding. By trying to "look" for the entity that is doing the observing, you realize there is no localized "self" behind your eyes—only an open space where the world and your experiences appear.

Vipassana vs. Dzogchen

Harris contrasts the two using an analogy of a mountain lake.

* Vipassana is like sitting on a dock, peering through the clear water to study the fish, rocks, and moss below. You become absorbed in the contents of your mind.

* Dzogchen is simply looking at your own reflection perfectly mirrored on the surface of the water, rather than looking through it.

Harris's Methodology & App

* Pointing Out Instructions: In his guided meditations, Harris acts as a modern-day guide, offering "pointing out" instructions meant to instantly snap the meditator out of the illusion of the ego.

* Waking Up App: He has codified this framework into his Waking Up platform, which strips away mystical baggage and offers daily lessons focused on the realization of non-duality.

Traditional Criticisms

While Harris makes this esoteric practice accessible, traditional Dzogchen practitioners express mixed opinions. Critics point out that he lacks a formal Tibetan lineage, de-emphasizes the traditional roles of a guru, and strips away the ethical and cosmological frameworks (like karma) that many consider integral to Buddhism.

Would you like to explore:

* How Harris's "pointing out" instructions differ from traditional seated meditation?

* Specific guided exercises from his app to help recognize non-dual awareness?

* Or the differences between Dzogchen and Mahamudra? Let me know how you'd like to proceed!

End the bit from Google.

****

I tried Vipassana, but ultimately decided against taking it further. I learned about the experience of taking "mindfulness" with me into everyday life. But I felt that to do that would ruin my ability to be an ideas guy. It would kill off the best part of me. It would destroy my capacity to engage in problem solving and make me less inventive. The constant thinking, and the "looker" behind it are important to me! And I felt that the long term goals of meditation regarding consciousness weren't really sensible for me. Not did I think that they were a worthwhile project for anyone.

I also learned about the looking for the looker thing that Sam Harris was on about, and the idea of primordial awakening. And I didn't think very highly of it. In my opinion, the "looker" is useful. The observer/judge/manager/guider is extraordinarily useful. He said, if you look carefully, there is no mini human in the mind. No inner observer or watcher. It doesn't exist. But I don't think that the experience of looking for the looker and finding nothing is useful or enormously meaningful.

Without the observer/judge/manager/guider I wouldn't have a conscience. I wouldn't feel all that bad if I did something wrong. I wouldn't feel a sense of injustice on behalf of others. I would have as much drive to achieve useful things. I wouldn't be half as inventive, and I wouldn't be half as creative, and I wouldn't be half as adept at micromanaging my own kind. I would be vapid!! I couldn't do half of the stuff with abstract thinking I used to do. And I couldn't do half of the stuff relating to patience or mental fortitude that I do. I wouldn't have the drive or willpower that I do. It would take so much from me, and give me very little.

I trained myself to become very skilled in abstract thinking over the years. I also worked to become very skilled in theory, and the theory of theory.

And then went to the roots of abstract thinking and their roots in language. And the roots of language in face to face communication and empathetic resonance. And I figured out how a lot of it worked.

And I figured out the connections between the observer/judge/manager/presider, and the other parts of the mind/self and how to manage and guide and control it. And that was interesting.

Ps: I like calling the observer, judge and manager the "single point of consciousness".

I also trained and disciplined my mind in a number of ways.

I'm not sure that I could have done that if I had ruined it with meditation in the first place. I just don't think that the project of meditation is worthwhile in the first place. The changes it makes to consciousness aren't very beneficial. They're daft.

Next, what is this observer, judge, manager, the "single point of consciousness". The answer is... habit. Or something like it. It emerges over time. An emergent property of people who engage in the use of language and talk to one another, look at the world around them. And just get used to having this perspective. Or maybe that's what it is. An emergent property of the human being. And then it gets stronger and stronger over time. It's a good thing! And it is something that's experienced, through both thought and feeling. It can be examined and understood and observed. And felt. And it's functional and extremely useful. I wouldn't want to damage it.

That's not my final and ultimate take on the matter. Just an attempt.

Glhf.

****

Vague musing:

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/06/egalitarianism.html

I especially like the idea of a cultural constitution. For New Zealand. By democratic referendum on a point by point basis.

****

Saturday, 27th June, 2026

FYI, I studied a bit of policing and criminology. I used to read Amanda’s text books and notes. I think that I also read the materials associated with when she tutored the police. Her first post graduation job was as an educator for the police (detectives). Any then I raised the victoria University library for some stuff about policing and security.

I also invent jokey ideas for solving problems.

I like using classical criminology combined with classical economics for coming up with ideas.

****

What do I really want to do?

I want to write my story up in full. I’m working on it, but I get hurt whenever I write. The work in progress is in the page life story: notes and planning.

****

Names: the tin can life raft

Names: the tin can garage life raft

Names: the tin can bed sled - it’s just furniture

The wifi firewall, for your bed!

Other idea: make the home deliverable unit more modular. Make the base delivered in three pieces, and the sides delivered in two pieces each, and make the lids only half screwed on. And then assemble them on site, perhaps in your lounge. And then fill them with cans. And then decorate and finished them however you please.

But anyway, I really need to get back to writing my story.

****

Friday, 26 June, 2026

Were the 40 million who died in the Chinese great famine as a part of the Great Leap Forward an example of mass murder (aka genocide) or not?

If not, why not?

If you create the conditions for mass death, using the same (or similar) business and administration decisions as were used to create mass death in multiple other locations (aka Stalinist policies), and refuse help from wiser and more competent people (Khrushchev), while creating chaos, engaging in weaponised incompetence, and engaging in an official policy of feigned and weaponised ignorance, while pretending you don't know what's going wrong, and tons of people die, is that just not murder with extra steps?

See also: collectivist agriculture in Ukraine, collectivisation etc in Kazakhstan, deaths in Tatarstan, and other issues in Russia.

My view

If you create conditions for the "bad things" to happens, knowing that the "bad things" will happen. While pretending that you don't intend for the "bad things" to happen, and then the "bad things" happen, and then you pretend you don't know why they happened, but you also had bad intentions in your heart towards the people you were mistreating, the you're still responsible for the "bad things" that happened, even if you pretend inside your own head and hearts that you are not to blame.

On the whole, I am not very impressed by Chinese people (orientals) who cause massive amounts of harm to other people and then try to pretend that they aren't to blame.

See also: Sanlu, Sudan, Cambodia, and invading Vietnam.

They also just harm everyone and everything around them, and tend to be very destructive people (mercury supplements, damaging feet with foot binding, and damaging and stultifying minds with meditation).

***

If you have bad intentions towards someone, and you intend to cause them to experience and suffer debilitating harm, and then you harm them a bunch, and then they do suffer debilitating harm as a consequence of your actions, then you actually are the ones to blame for what happened.

In my case, they crippled me for 7 years (now 8). And they keep on trying to evade or avoid taking responsibility or just avoid just plain trying to admit it. They avoid trying to take the blame.

****

Wednesday, 24th of June, 2026

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Just an info dump.

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/06/general-colour-and-background.html

It really is a bit of an info dump. But there are some notes down the bottom of the page. Those might make it into my life story.

****

I really, really would like it if I could sit and relax, and listen to music for a fair bit of the day. But I can't. I would like to listen to things like Mozart or Chopin, perhaps.

I also would really, really like it if I could just stand around and read a book (such as a Pratchett or Grisham). I stand to read, by the way. I stand at a set of low shelves and rest my both my hands and the book itself on the shelf.

But I can't. I get "punished" or otherwise harmed or messed with whenever I just try to read or listen to music. I can't even get ten minutes to myself. It has been this way for many months.

****

Emails between my mother and I, from the past

Link to a page of emails and stuff

For general background reading. And there is a chunk of stuff in there waaaaayyyy down that includes a fair bit of health advice.

I just wanted to give you a sample of correspondence between my mother and I. Including a little bit of stuff relating to my health. Please do remember that this is a sample, not the whole lot. And that we were also talking on the phone too. And that she visited me multiple times and I visited her multiple times from the age of 18 to 27 (by visited, I mean she stayed with me or I stayed with her). We talked about my health a fair bit, and she gave me advice a fair bit.

****

I was pretty into physical activities when I was young.

I had boxed and done judo and kickboxing, and I was lifting weights. I wanted to keep lifting weights and developing myself in that way. I had also wanted to take up sword fighting, horse riding, do a little more Muay Thai, take up rock (wall) climbing and perhaps downhill mountain biking. Other things I wanted to do (if only for a while) were yoga, tennis and wushu (performance kung fu, especially with weapons).

****

Monday, 22nd June, 2026

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I would like it if I could just read a bit more often. I can’t even read books. They harm me by yanking on the muscles of my torso when I try to read.

I want to be able to read again.

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Non compliance is a pretty important concept to me…

Some people think that non-cooperation with evil is as much a duty as is cooperation with good.

****

Imagine if we could find technology and create inventions to non violently and unilaterally shelter people from harm. And give them time and space to think, and be alone inside their own minds. And space to talk to their friends while being alone.

****

The quote:

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Silence is indeed an implicit form of communication—often famously attributed as a quote by Ernesto "Che" Guevara. By withholding a response, you still send a message, leaving the listener to infer your stance.

Whether intentional or not, silence functions as an argument in a few specific ways:

Strategic Dismissal: Sometimes, refusing to engage in a fruitless debate is a choice. It acts as a non-verbal argument that the opposing viewpoint or the conversation itself isn't worth your time or emotional energy.

I cut the rest of the examples.

I often just tell people that they have yet to have said anything of value. That they are a dunderhead (a blockhead). And then I don't bother to argue. I also suggest to them that we take the conversations offline, and suggest that we're not having proper conversations anyway.

****

By the way, I care about the environment too (carrying capacity), but I feel that there is not much that can be done until we can have at least a small patch of ground where we can sit and talk, and sit and think.

****

Did you know that Grant Robertson (former deputy PM) has been attacking and harming the nephew of a member of parliament?

****

I am 37 and I have been sick (or worse, such as an invalid or totally crippled) for 19 years.

****

Quick link to provide a bit of colour, emails and stuff.

I asked Uncle Andy for help finding a good lawyer. But he denied me help. Even though I had been crippled for 6 and a half years at the time, and been a badly debilitated invalid for five years before that, and much of that caused by cell towers and satellites, or deliberately bad advice. This was a couple of years ago.

He did not help me to find a lawyer, or explain things to me. He didn’t even tell me why I had been so unwell, crippled or debilitated for years. One conversation was all I needed.

Also, when my grandmother died she left 100k to me and 100k to Lily, he gave my inheritance and Lily’s inheritance to my mother, 100k times two. And 100k went to me from my mother, but she refused to give the other half to me for safe keeping for Lily, and instead gave it (100k) to Amanda (the criminal). My mother did that because I failed to start a PIE (portfolio investment entity) in Lily’s name (I couldn’t make it to the bank for an appointment with a birth certificate, being crippled at the time, and my mother felt that merely starting an account labelled with Lily’s name was unacceptable). I was occupied during probate, and being badly hampered and impaired and ordered about. I was travelling for a fair bit of it, I think. And completely tied up at home here at 73 Hutt road being forced to do inappropriate and bizarre things when my grandmother just died.

Furthermore, Uncle Andy knew that I was sick for years, and debilitated due to attacked from cell towers and satellites. He knew that I had CFS, and what caused it. And never ever talked to me about it. Even when I visited for Christmas in 2009 (technically Boxing Day, I think?).

He is furthest on the left, and I am two heads across just beside my brother. We were all playing croquet. Location: my grandparents house, 30 Campbell Street, Karori.

Ps: I do not recognise “a whatever to whatever” as a valid piece of terminology.

Quick link to provide a bit of colour, emails and stuff.

The emails are mostly just about Boxing Day with my grandma. They show that we still were seeing one another, and still family, even though I was very unwell.

****

I joke about everything in my head. I make light of things in my own mind. I joke to myself. It helps to keep me sane.

****

I visited a GP at the Coastal Medical Rooms clinic in early 2007. I saw Dr Meaburn Staniland. I went there on the 14th of February, 2007. I told him what was wrong and that I was feeling unwell. He ordered some basic blood tests. And also checked my blood pressure and stuff like that. The blood tests came back normal. He was unable to diagnose me with anything and he was unable to help me with anything. I can’t quite recall this appointment or doctor’s visit very well. The doctor’s clinic at Coastal Medical Rooms is a fairly normal New Zealand doctor’s clinic.

[[When I first posted this part of my story online, I didn’t have all of my medical notes and I still don’t have all of them. But I now have more of them than I used to have, and I now have some the relevant notes from that clinic. I have all of the notes that relate to Dr Staniland for example. But I’m still missing some of the notes from that clinic relating to 1-2 other visits that occurred in 2006. Those seem to have been “memory holed”, or perhaps were never recorded in the first place. Those visits were with a different GP at the same clinic. I have included some of my medical notes at the bottom of this page.]]

I added this to my main story, now that I have my medical notes, or at least some more do them.

****

Apropos of nothing:

Gandhi

From Google search:

Mahatma Gandhi’s lifelong dedication to truth was the cornerstone of his philosophy. He famously declared "Truth is God" and viewed the determined pursuit of truth—Satyagraha—as the ultimate purpose of life. For Gandhi, truth went beyond words; it required absolute harmony in thought, speech, and action.

****

From Google search:

Satyagraha is a philosophy and method of nonviolent resistance developed by Mahatma Gandhi. Literally translating to "truth force" or "soul force" in Sanskrit, it combines satya (truth) and agraha (holding fast/insistence). Rather than coercing an opponent, it seeks to convert them to the truth through peace, love, and voluntary self-suffering.

****

My note:

I like Ghandi, but I don't claim to have a great deal of depth or breadth of knowledge about who he is or how he lived or what he taught. I'm not an expert on his life. And I don't hero worship him. But overall I do like him.

I'm sorry that I have to hedge my bets so much when I talk about things like this. But if I say too much more, then I will be obliged to defend my point of view. Or otherwise I will be criticised in a very annoying and silly way.

All the same, I like Ghandi. I think he's great.

****

I almost cut this one altogether, and maybe I should.

My second note:

If you hold fast to what is true, then you might end up living a life where you are despised, mistreated, kicked, beaten, laughed at, harmed and deprived of resources.

This may perhaps be incompatible with certain ways of life or certain ways of being. For example, if you want to be strong and a man who is dedicated to truth, then someone will damage you physically so that you aren't strong any more. Or if you're beautiful as a woman, and dedicated to truth, someone might mar your looks. Or you'll get damaged heaps! I can't explain it. But people will come after you. Bad people who do bad things and then use violence, dominance, nastiness, humiliation and lies and persistent harm to cover it up will come after you if you are publicly dedicated to truth. Because they have to keep from getting harmed. It's like Plato (who is not much more than a trumped up school teacher) said, "no one is hated more than he who speaks the truth". Well, Plato and his followers push a dishonest way of life. Sort of.

If you’re dedicated to truth, maybe you end up weak and despised. Instead of strong and powerful and respected. Or perhaps it is someone who already weak and despised who dedicates themselves to truth and decides, if I live or if I die. I still dedicate my life to this. If I suffer, I still love truth. Or perhaps someone with resources and a little bit of respect and status embraces it, and along with that they embrace a humble modest existence, and so lives that way. Sorry for grammar. They lower themselves in life somehow.

Slight change of direction coming:

Well, at the end of the day, why not just create an engineering solution to a technical problem. And then we have space in which we can believe truth, speak it, and hear it. And love it, and embrace it? It's just an idea, and I'm kind of a bit of an ideas guy.

****

End.

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Next topic

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I told them many times that I didn't want to fight for the women. And that I didn't want to sleep with any of their _women_. I also told them that someday, a few years down the track, I would find a girlfriend my own way, and on my own terms, and not from amongst their set.

I also told them that I would need a year to rebuild and "reprogram" my posture. Before I was healthy enough. Although, probably would want longer!

But they disregard my statements and the things that I say.

****

Friday, 19th June, 2026

A dunderhead is a slightly old-fashioned, informal term used to describe a foolish or stupid person. It typically points to someone making a silly mistake or behaving in a dense, clumsy way, and is often used in an irritated but somewhat amused or affectionate manner rather than as deeply offensive slang.

Related Information

Origin: The term likely emerged in the 17th century, combining the Dutch word donder (meaning "thunder") with the English word "head," suggesting someone walking around with a loud, cloudy, or confused mind.

Synonyms: Similar informal and critical words include dunce, blockhead, numskull, nincompoop, and knucklehead.

Usage: It can also act as an adjective—dunderheaded—to describe a particularly foolish, poorly thought-out decision or mistake.

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Tuesday, 16th June, 2026

****

Just a reminder:

Xi declared me victorious, based on my sleeping with Dasha (even though when I slept with her I flatly refused to follow the order to do anal sex with her, which was originally used to deny me the "victory"). This happened ages ago.

And then Siobhan, Brynn, Clare, Sarah, Ambika, Grace and Angela all said they were mine in perpetuity, to do with them as I pleased.

Note: Ambika didn't say the "do with them as I pleased" bit. But she said she would be mine in perpetuity.

I also had Hanae say that she would be mine for an extended period of time. And Alice said that "she was in", and possibly long term.

And for ages they have been trying to crush me, harm me and shut me down.

I didn't even want to play their games in the first place. But they pushed me into it. And in the end I won, and was declared victorious. Xi said I was victorious. And the women promised themselves to me voluntarily (because I felt that the whole thing was massively unethical).

And now they're trying to continue to harm me, and especially Sarah my lawyer and Brynn the crazy person. They're trying to harm me.

Are they just sore losers? Or trying to fail to follow through on their commitments? Or shirk? They lost a contest that I didn't want to enter. And they _volunteered_.

Also, was supposed to receive the "magic wand" which was supposed to bring about the return of my health to me. I just wanted to be healthy.

And since then I have done a bit of inventing/innovation.

But anyway, I don't seem to be getting anywhere.

I need to finish writing my story....

All of this stuff can be referred to in the updates page, with dates attached.

Are they trying to shirk their duty to provide me with unlimited sex (as a service) by attacking me violently until I give up or get destroyed? And is the CCP part of the set in support of this plan? And don’t forget that I didn’t want to fight for them in the first place. And also they volunteered!!!

* their economic function (and occupation) is that of a prostitute. Which is legal in NZ, and has a slightly different social status in our country.

****

Monday, 15th June, 2026

Lesbians and feminists..

Ask for a "quick primer" on "early Christianity"

What would I do?

Read the Bible

Study 20-30 hours of Roman history

Study 20-30 hours of Greek history

Will Durant has some good stuff. And he is even a socialist. And if not a feminist, fairly pro woman. I think a lot of feminist/lesbians could cope with his stuff without tearing their own throats out...

Donald Kagan has a good chunk of stuff on Greek history.

For everything else, there is the local library.

And you have to read 1-3 books on Alexander the Great's conquests.

And maybe look at some military stuff (see Dan Carlin: Death Throes of the Republic)

Then...

Read the purpose driven life by Rick Warren

Then listen to ten sermons by Bill Hybels, Five Sermons by Rick Warren, 10 sermons by Erwin McManus, and a few by Timothy Keller. Listen, don't read.

Then listen/watch to 3 sermons by Billy Graham.

Then read some D.L. Moody (inspiration for Billy Graham).

And then... then!

Start doing some focussed reading about the early church, that is the first few centuries before it became mainstream. Read about it or listen to sermons about it. Before Constantine painted the chi-rho on the shields.

It is important.

You need to understand the sociology and economics of the situation.

And then read a textbook on:

Sociology

Economics

Psychology

Basic theology

And then you're coming along nicely!

Kind of joking, kind of not.

Note: oh, and read 3-4 books about the history of the early church.

And get into the habit of reading 30-40 books per year, and 2-3 full length lecture series per year. Just as table stakes for being and educated human.

This is all a throwaway chunk of text. You would understand early Christianity, and be able to compare and contrast it with more recent practices.

And then you should also look at Kieth e Wrightsons lectures on early modern England (hist 245). From open Yale. Oh, actually there is an Old Testament course and New Testament course on there too. Study those as well. Religious studies 152, 145.

https://oyc.yale.edu/courses

Did you known that all of this is free!?!?!?!!??!?&@&$& zomgbbq!?!??! The Yale stuff is available at no charge to the end user!?!?

Opinions and judgements

At no point have these people suggested to me that they intend to speak in a way that is sensible. Nor do they seem to have any desire to speak in a way that is sensible.

Define Sensible:

One

based on or acting on good judgment and practical ideas or understanding

Two

Sensible is an adjective that describes something or someone that is reasonable, practical, and shows good judgment. It typically means making choices based on logic and sound reasoning rather than emotion or impulse.

And so, I have rejected the idea that their points of view, opinions, judgement calls or ideas are sensible.

I have made a counter offer, and suggested that they send a representative who is happy to have a conversation over a cup of tea, and perhaps is willing to speak plainly, and in a sensible manner. I have also cheekily said that it might cost them a cup of tea and a couple of biscuits before I can treat them as though they are sensible and mentally competent adults. This holds true of the CCP half of the set, and the NZ Feminist/Lesbian/wiccan/communist part of the set.

****

Scientific Realism and Instrumentalism

I'm team instrumentalism. Massively.

Google Scientific Realism vs Instrumentalism

Lulz. What if you use instrumentalism to figure out stuff. And you just use it to create models, _visualisations_ and _thought experiments_.

And then you create predictions based on these three things.

And with these predictions, you come up with things worth testing.

Once you test those things you create tests to find proofs of concept for engineering projects.

And then once you have proofs of concept, then you create applications.

Once you have successful applications in the wild. Then you productise them.

And then once you have good products, then you scale them up and push them out there. It's engineering and stuff.

Note: and one more thing, I like using old timey language. Like aether. But not everything has to be done mathematically! Reading biographies helps.

This is perhaps a little unclear. I don't stand by my statements lol.

****

I’m not feeling so great. I need rest.

****

Thursday, 11th June, 2026

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What if…?

What happens if you can easily convert a building of fifteen apartments, three stories high, into five faraday shielded apartments? And we have proof of concept?

Or what happens if we can easily convert a hotel 10 stories high into a faraday shielded building just by filling 50% of the rooms with clean, loose, crushed cans?

And then, what if your local city council member takes up residence inside this building, and is pushing to convert a significant proportion of your city's public housing stock into faraday shielded buildings? And then other members of the council agree. And then it happens.

This is only for suitable building types. And only for towns or cities where the local council controls the housing stock and has an adequate budget.

Even one town is a big deal.

But what if it spreads like wildfire? All over the world?

So many people could seek refuge. And find a place of peace, quiet and mental solitude.

Like their own personal, individual version of Yeat’s “The Lake Isle of Innisfree”.

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43281/the-lake-isle-of-innisfree

Where we can all go to be nobodies:

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/1647321/im-nobody-who-are-you

****

https://youtu.be/hoRMOg0N8pk?si=Iv87Mqy0pAuX_Vyl

I like this story. Or, rather I actually dislike it. But I still like it, if you know what I mean. It has motivated some of my thinking, sort of.

It’s actually a very evil story, and Ray Bradbury was a bad person. A horrible man. But it’s an interesting story. I like short stories.

****

Wednesday, 10th June, 2026

Quick ramble on philosophy

Christian metaphysics and philosophy: Old Testament and New Testament, and large quantities of Christian material. Christian stuff stands head, shoulders, chest and nipples above secular or pagan stuff.

But non Christian (or secular or pagan) stuff:

Voltaire: the collected works

John Stewart Mill

Ludwig von Mises

Hayek

Bastiat

Ayn Rand

Introduction to philosophy by Durant

The Great Ideas of Philosophy, 2nd Edition: Taught by Dr. Daniel N. Robinson, 60 lectures.

Taught by Dr. Daniel N. Robinson, this monumental course (often split into multiple parts) covers 3,000 years of Western intellectual history, tracing the evolution of thought from the ancient Greeks to modern thinkers.Best for: Those who want a deep, university-level, chronological history of philosophy.

And Terry Pratchett.

And 3 books from the library about the scientific method at university. Excerpts.

Books about "how to use statistics"

Stuff about how to use accounting numbers and what they mean (a fair bit of philosophical stuff).

Books about how to use information in the social sciences

Information about how to use journals

Information about how referencing works

Doing stuff with accounting statements

Lots and lots of history.

Lots and lots of Wikipedia.

And criminological theory.

And theory until it comes out of my ears in tons of areas.

I forget what else.

Uhh. Rick Warren, Erwin McManus and other pastors are better philosophers than most. D.L. Moody is great also.

And lots and lots of history.

You can just learn stuff and understand stuff. Don't over think it. Just read some of the stuff that has gone before. And think it over. Uhhh. This approach isn't for everyone.

You can tread the same tracks that other people have tread in the past. And mull it over. And try it on for size. And then set it aside. It works fine. And then over time you develop genuine understanding. And then that is enough. That's what we call education. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If that is the path you choose, and you deem yourself to be capable as a thinker, then just plough ahead. Don't let the idiots and the numpties tell you otherwise.

****

Here are some of the courses I did when I was sick, between the years of 2013 and 2017. I just listened to them, I didn’t take notes while listening or do the readings. They’re pretty good. You can actually learn a lot from things like this. And they’re all free and available on open Yale courses, which can be found at https://oyc.yale.edu/

HIST 116: The American Revolution by Joanne Freeman

HIST 119: The Civil War and Reconstruction Era, 1845-1877 by David W. Blight

HIST 210: The Early Middle Ages, 284–1000 by Paul Freedman

HIST 202: European Civilization, 1648-1945 by John Merriman

HIST 234: Epidemics in Western Society Since 1600 by Frank Snowden

HIST 251: Early Modern England: Politics, Religion, and Society under the Tudors and Stuarts by Keith E. Wrightson

HIST 276: France Since 1871 by John Merriman

CLCV 205: Introduction to Ancient Greek History by Donald Kagan

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Tuesday, 9th June, 2026

Who is more important? And more worthwhile? ASEAN or China?

It's just because people look at the one number of China's population or GDP that people look at China as being a big player.

But I think that ASEAN is much more interesting and worthwhile. And the nations that make it up, and are part of it. And the people of those nations.

China is overrated (PRC CCP). The Chinese are okay people though.

The Association of Southeast Asian Nations (ASEAN) is an inter-governmental international organization, comprised of Indonesia, Vietnam, Laos, Brunei, Thailand, Myanmar, the Philippines, Cambodia, Singapore, Malaysia and Timor Leste.

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Monday, 8th June, 2026

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There was once a small city with only a few people in it. And a powerful king came against it, surrounded it and built huge siege works against it. Now there lived in that city a man poor but wise, and he saved the city by his wisdom. But nobody remembered that poor man. So I said, “Wisdom is better than strength.” But the poor man’s wisdom is despised, and his words are no longer heeded. The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools. Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good.

Ecclesiastes 9:14-18

But also read the stuff before and after it.

Why train my mind as heavily as I did? Just in case there is a “city to save”.

Learning to do something good for the future. And the hope that I could use my abilities for good, and the fantasy (delusion?) that I could do good. It kept me going.

You have to read the whole book. Twice over.

“All is meaningless”, embrace the message of pure and overwhelming pessimism. Drink it in and swallow it down.

And then decide to be the person who can save the city, from horrible people, and then be forgotten. Even if forgotten and despised. Do it anyway.

Why?

There is no why. You can just choose. Once you embrace pessimism, you can just choose. It doesn’t have to be logical. And it’s not even out of duty.

Sometimes these books can have an effect that counts for more than the message they’re trying to communicate. You just have to wallow in it, and read it 2-3 times over to see if it speaks to you. And maybe it does or doesn’t. But it wouldn’t be everyone’s cup of tea.

Anyway, Ecclesiastes, Job and Proverbs are some of my favourite books. I also liked exodus. And I like Moses and Elisha. Also like Corinthians.

****

In Mao, the unknown story: I remember reading about farmers being told by food collectors to give them more grain, and that the grain quota demanded more grain, and that the farmers were lying, and had more food. (The farmers were inexperienced, having recently taken over the land looted from landlords, and so had failed to grow more food). And the CCP officials insisted that the farmers had more food to give, even attacking the farmers for it. And accusing them of lying.

And again and again, the Chinese would accuse men doomed to die of starvation of dishonesty. Again and again the Chinese accuse honest people of lying.

This was during the great famine.

The injustice of it.

And it stuck with me ever since I was 20.

****

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lenin_Boys

Some fun reading^

****

Sunday, 7th June, 2026

I had wanted justice:

Amanda, Brynn and Paul in Jail

To sue fertility associates and Amanda

Custody of Lily

And I had wanted my health back.

But was denied the opportunity to have a good lawyer.

And I was denied access to the information and evidence I needed by the DIA.

And I was denied access to the information and evidence I needed by fertility associates.

And also I was attacked by my father, and the police sided with him. He was even given a key to get into my house the following day, and brought the police in to arrest me.

The police told me to go with my father, to avoid arrest. Even though he had attacked me.

After a night in jail (and charges of psychological abuse against Amanda for failing to leave the house when asked to do so while a protection order was in force against me) the police put me into his Paul's car to take me to his mother's house.

So anyway, I thought that I would just wait it out. See if I could find some way to do anything. Maintain my "mental and emotional centre of gravity" and see if anything can be done. Any opportunities. Given that there is no justice.

I didn't count on the remote control cell tower thing though. Keeping me crippled.

****

Friday, 5th June 2026

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A brief post about “directing”, or “the primary control”. It is a fairly important part of my life story.

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/06/primary-control.html

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Just a couple of links:

https://www.howcommunicate.com/extra-uploads-wedding-text-draft

https://www.howcommunicate.com/extra-uploads-david-in-japan-at-14-video

****

Why does Brynn assume that she should be a part of my life?

Why is she so self important as to assume that she needs to have any part to play in my life, sexually?

What does she matter to me, as a sex object?

****

You guys didn’t “scam me”. That is the wrong narrative.

Instead, you hurt a good person very badly for ten years (he was quite badly debilitated for some of those years), and then crippled him for 6 years, and then participated in a cover up.

You also wanted to get pregnant with me.

You also wanted to get wealthy by having sex with me in exchange for Chinese money.

You also engaged in fertility fraud, and actually had a child.

****

Analogy

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/06/analogy-post.html

****

Two ideas I had in the past:

Observatist Philosopher

Nonsensist Philosopher

Observatist just observes things, and describes them. He isn't coming up with a system of belief or virtue or religion for people to follow. He just observes and describes. The hope is that this can be used to solve problems.

Nonsensist

Just do any old nonsense to get it done. But also fill your mind and actions with enough nonsense to shield yourself. Fill the front chamber of the minds, the words part, with enough random stuff that you/they can't read it properly. But keep the observer/judge/manager part of it "alive". And you still have "abstract thought sense" even if you don't think it in words or pictures.

You can keep enough nonsense in your mind to protect the parts of the mind you want to protect.

But you can keep on perspective, and judging, and managing affairs. It's crazy.

Things are not as they seem.

I will delete this above post.

And I don't stand by it. I won’t argue to defend it.

Also, reverse social engineering: The best idea I figured would be to sort out a technology.

****

I am somewhat pro-Muslim.

As a former Christian, I look at Muslims and I can see that they have a value system that means sometime to them. They have a fabric of moral and cultural reality that makes sense. And a coherent way of being, and ideas about psychology and human development that aren't rubbish. And so I am somewhat pro-Muslim and pro-Islam (but I don't want to join).

Pro Islam as opposed to what? Uhhhh. The idolatrous beliefs of the Indians, especially yoga enthusiasts, or the Marxist-Leninist beliefs and Confucian culture of the Chinese, and the secular beliefs of the western satellitists and so called "intellectuals" of the University systems. I also dislike Buddhism. I think that it is the worst religion on planet earth. I don't like Buddhism whether it is practised in California, Texas, Australia, Japan, China or Tibet. Thelema sucks, and is asinine. And a lot of the occult looks retarded.

I do still prefer Christianity and Judaism though. And I like Sikhism. I like the ideas of Zoroastrianism too, but I think that it is mostly defunct.

****

I’ll cut this later (maybe):

Note: neoclassical economics is an ideology and brings with it a fabric of reality. And it is related to judeo-Christian points of view, especially “puritan” stuff. I’ll prove nothing. Now… neo classical economics vs thelema: law is love… move towards what you love. No.

Name your price. If you’re a sex worker, tell me your price, and I’ll tell you if the price is acceptable. And either you have sale and a customer or you don’t. That is why the ideology/beliefs of neoclassical economics are better than thelema. Don’t pretend that your offering of sex worker is more sacred than it is. If your body was ever a temple or holy, then it isn’t any more. It’s common. And a mere productive economic asset.

You’re not profaning these women by shagging them, because they’re not sacred. They’re common, not sacred. They’re about as sacred as the linesmen, plumbers or delivery men of our society. You get a quote, hire them, pay them, thank them and move on. They perform a service.

****

I am trying to help the Chinese dudes, and possibly some of the NZ women part of the set understand me a bit better.

Tentatively…

There are some people who are going to do whatever they think is appropriate according to the values that they hold, independently of what you might think about it, and independently of what might be done to them. Their own survival is not their primary concern. Survival and comfort are “nice to have” but not the be all and end all

Archbishop Óscar Romero

Father Rutilio Grande

Jim Elliot

Rick Warren

William Wilberforce (abolished slavery AND started the RSPCA - one of the founders)

They aren't worried about the same things that you worry about, and might not value the same things that you value.

I’m not sure who the Chinese communists or NZ lesbians/women look up to. But I might have different people who I find to be interesting.

The other type of people I look up to:

Sir Isaac Newton

Sir Ernest Rutherford

Michael Faraday

Gregor Mendel

J.E. Gordon

Thomas Telford

Isambard Kingdom Brunel

Alexander Graham Bell

Steve Wozniak

Guglielmo Marconi

Jack Welch

Benjamin Graham

Leo Laporte

A few others:

D.L. Moody

Billy Graham

****

A few brief notes about the story after parts four and five:

Please treat this as “off the cuff” remarks

Next part of the story, is that I have chronic fatigue syndrome.

And I am running about asking for help solving that problem.

"I have chronic fatigue syndrome".

I talk to my family, I ask for their advice. And I talk about it with them. And also they give me unsolicited advice.

I talk to my in laws, I talk to my wife. I get their ideas and potential solutions, and advice.

I talk to multiple doctors. I talk to my GP Amanda Clarke. She refers to "some friends she knew from university". Including dr David Waite, and dr Roberts. She also sent me to a physio, TBI.

I had already talked to multiple doctors before her. Such as one at coastal medical rooms (twice). And three (or four) at Victoria University.

I tried physio, and I just got me hurt.

I talked to my friends, including Jesse and Nathan. They knew I had "chronic fatigue syndrome". Jesse had a diagnosis of post viral fatigue. His elder brother had had cfs as well, and was very sick. Their father Geoff (now chief elder, aka pastor, at the ccc) also talked with me. Multiple times. I also attended their early morning pastors meeting to have them pray for me. And he also gave me a book to read and "pray through" all about how evil Freemasonry is. Which I did.

I also attended prayer and "healing" meetings at odd Pentecostal churches. Because David Orchard had been healed at one of those. Furthermore, I went to weird sessions at places like... okay. There was a "healing rooms" session at southwards car museum (they have spare rooms) where an oddball dude prayed for me.

I went back to university in 2010, but had to drop out. I was still sick.

My social life? I went to church, and some of the same friends as in high school. And we had lunch together after church.

By the start of 2011, I was still unwell.

I didn't get healthy again!

I didn't know what was wrong or what to do about it!

I will work on writing up more stuff.

Parts 7 and 8

2011 and 2012, and into early 2013

I had really bad back problems and digestive problems. But still had the chronic fatigue syndrome. It was horrible.

I kept on seeing people to ask them for help. My grand parents drove me to the hospital for one or two of my doctor's appointments. By the way, dr Roberts, dr Waite, and dr Alistair were at the hospital in Wellington.

My grandparents also put me in the prayer list for their church, asking that I be healed of chronic fatigue syndrome. I also had my name put in our church newsletter, suggesting that people pray for me that I be healed of cfs.

I actually got worse in this period of time. Quite a lot worse.

Part 9: 2013

I got way, way worse. Bad digestion, bad sleep, bad back, pain. Saw multiple physios. Could no longer lay in bed to read, could no longer curl up on the couch to read. I even had to cut down on frequency with which I showered.

I couldn't read any more!!

The era of listening to podcasts began, and I literally had NO WAY to find a comfortable position in which to rest. There was no way to chill. It was cataclysmic.

And then I had to move house. We got kicked out. I was actually struggling to function at the time. My back was borked and I didn't know why. Hint: cell towers did it.

Part 10: mum comes to visit, stresses me out in purpose (I was barely functioning beforehand). She pushes me to see a doctor, and the doctor gives me drugs that make me worse (was a family friend). And that plus cell tower attacks and long standing health issues cause a "mental health event". And then life is bad. Will explain more later. Nortryptaline and then quetapel. And they push me to be involved in mental health services. But I don't want to be. Because my issues are back problems, cfs and digestion. Amongst other symptoms.

So anyway, I can't really sleep in bed like a normal person. I have to lay weird to rest at all. But idk why. Also, my relationship with my mother is toast (again). I also end up taking long term supplements my mother gave me (xtend life multivitamins). I am actually not explaining well.

And that gets us to maybe 2014.

There is so, so, so much to explain.

Like I couldn't lay in bed to rest in a normal way on my back or side. If I tried, I would get my spine. I just couldn't rest on my back. They had changed my torso so much long term. Also, laying on my side didn't work either. I actually dislocated my shoulder (mild dislocate) laying on my side. It's awful.

I also did a lot of Alexander technique.

Part 11: 2014 onwards

Umm. I then also build up a lot of walking. Somehow by forcing it, I could do walking every day. And I built up. Eventually to an hour a day. Every day, even if just two minute, I forced myself to walk. And built up, lamp post by lamp post. Until I could do up to 60-70 minutes. I was feeling so much improved. And then something changed?? And then incident walk anymore. And I was limping. And I couldn't solve it. And then I ended up not walking. I couldn't manage! The delicate balance was disrupted by cell towers. And talking was finished.

Also, sometimes I had entire weeks, or up to a fortnight, vanished in black fog. I think that it was cell towers.

By the way, I could often force myself to lay down and rest, while listening to podcasts. It was the only way to control the situation enough to rest. I will explain later.

Oh and my father also used to tell me that it was basically psychosomatic, and that I just needed to do the “lightening process”. Which is a psychological method to get rid of psychological problems. He reckoned that it might be “just depression”. That happened a bunch of times.

He very, very, very strongly pushed this thing called the lightening process. Look it up.

He even gave me a copy of the book “oh the places you will go” by Doctor Seuss, with a brief note in it suggesting that I should do the lightening process. And offered to pay money for it. Amanda’s grandparents and also my aunty Wendy pushed it as well. The course costs $500+ dollars.

There is plenty more writing to do.

****

These people are bores.

If you have to beat me with an electronic stick, confine me to my home, and speak directly to my mind to get me to speak, then you might just be a bore.

Such a sex pest that you have become a bore.

****

Just a random comment

Marriage

Don't forget that the leaders of the early Christian church were fighting an ongoing, heavily persecuted*, non violent, communitarian revolution against the Roman Empire.

They were focused on getting the message out there, feeding the hungry, working to support the poor financially, visiting those unjustly imprisoned, tending to the sick, rescuing children trafficked into slavery, or preventing children being trafficked into slavery or servitude in the first place, rescuing children left to die of exposure, rescuing and redeeming women stuck in the sex industry.

And they won. They defeated Rome.

By my reckoning, they conquered it in 312 AD when Constantine had his soldier paint his shields with the symbol of Christianity, the chi-rho at the battle of the Milvian Bridge. People often tell the story wrong when they say that he painted the cross on the shield, it was the Chi Rho. But it's close enough.

They oversaw one of the biggest improvements in the status of women in all of human history. Women went from being mere property to being coequals, co-heirs of the kingdom of heaven. Before that, they were appliances that had sex. Or prostitutes. It's a little complicated. Class has a lot to do with it. But a lot of women basically just had to have sex with their master and his servants. A female servant or slave was often a sex worker on the side.

And so it was into this context that the apostles (which just means messengers) taught the people all about how Christian marriage should work. And their advice was... stay single and don't have sex! Just like us! (The leaders were largely celibate). So we can serve the poor better!!! It saves on so much hassle. The active mission, the biggest task was to minister to the poor, because under the class structure of Rome, and with the way the rich owned all of the land... the poor were really poor! And not all of the poor were Roman citizens! Don't forget, there were many people less well off than Roman pleb citizens. They needed to serve the poor, and so why not skip marriage. But then, the leaders said.. if you can't handle being single like us, because you would "burn with lust" (aka the guys are too cute, or the girls are too hot). Then just get married and be faithful. And the men must always love and care for their wives. There are rules: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." It was a call to engage in sacrificial, selfless, and unconditional love towards your spouse. The love was to be charitable, an act of charity from husband to wife.

And all of this was during an active, ongoing, non-violent revolution to take down the Roman system and the Roman way of life.

*The Christians were getting killed, left, right and centre. Martyrdom was a fact of life.

[And a huge amount of the situation had to do with things like class, money, access to food and resources. The social status and class thing was massive. Don't ignore the class issues!]

Note: I wrote this while sleep deprived and pretty fried. So it isn't perfect.

Probably if the apostles were giving advice and writing letters in the modern day and age, they might have different ideas. The issues are a little different: we have tons of food, tons of housing stock, contraception, abortion, antibiotics and post birth surgeries exist. Education is light years ahead of where it was (general education). And we live in a hyper abundant, hyper vain Pilates and matcha shakes and creatine protein shake weight lifting world. And drugs, music and alcohol exist like never before. And we have violent retarded sadists inside our minds. And quantum physics in our nervous system. And they’re experimenting in the total destruction of private “free market” intelligent analytical, abstract thinking. In favour of hive mind nonsense.

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/05/marriage-in-christianity.html

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Sexy stuff or the destruction of the elderly?

What matters more..

What is a more important topic of conversation?

1. Polyamory? Swinging?

2. Or electromagnetic violence against the elderly? Driving the elderly to suicide? Or other forms of elder abuse? Giving elderly people dementia or brain damage? Rendering them incapable of speech? Causing them serious long term pain and incapacity? Crippling them entirely, or just plain killing them outright by means of electronic abuse?

****

Being criticised by the CCP is like being criticised by a meth head mother who beats her kids over the issue of serving your child cold cooked broccoli from a plastic container that might contain xenoestrogens.

****

My fridge

They have destroyed two of my fridges now.

And about four slow cookers.

And so I can’t cook and eat normal food.

I wouldn’t take a thousand doses of sex from one of their most attractive prostitutes over having a working fridge.. I just wouldn’t…

Women as people and as friends and as fellow citizens are valuable.

But as sex objects, trafficked into sex work, packaged and sold, won and lost, traded and used. They aren’t that valuable to me.

A woman who wants to voluntarily have sex with me, in a voluntary relationship. Now that is valuable.

But actually, it’s just ugly old men with extremely bad morals and horrible teeth who pretend that the standard is you have to have women abused until they are docile and compliant, and then traffic them into sex work. And that they can then be “dominated” into sex work. But that is because those men are morally reprehensible. And otherwise basically unfuckable. Without power to harm others, and economic clout, they just aren’t getting laid. Or at least not often.

These men modify society into a space where you’re expected to dominate and control women into sex with you. But dominated and controlled women, threatened and groomed into sex work, delivered to me on a silver platter. This is not a prize to me!!

****

Please just give me my health back.

I was supposed to get my health back once I had sex with someone. That was what was communicated to me (I refuse to prove it).

And I should never have had to ask for back it in the first place.

These people crippled me for 6 years with science fiction weapons. It is a “politically serious” act. Like putting someone in Joseph Mengle’s experiments. It is the sort of thing that lands someone in trials in The Hague, Belgium such as men like Ratko Mladić, Radovan Karadžić ended up. Medical experimentation where you modify the body to cause it to become crippled, and keep it that way for 6 (now 8) years is a very serious thing.

They deny that they have crippled me, and pretend that it is “just deconditioning”, but that is to deliberately misunderstand science and physiology. They are just playing silly buggers with definitions and words.

In the meantime, I can just keep on doing skunk works.

Ps: 2+ years ago they told me that I had to have lots of women, or else I wouldn’t even be allowed to go outside. I don’t want any of this.

Extra note: you can take the narrative that this situation is about women, money or political activism and shove it up your arse.

****

These devices and structures that I am working on and designing might help to shelter people from the sorts of horrors I have experienced. It might mean that people like me can recover without having to negotiate with lunatics.

Or it might shelter people from being trafficked into semi-voluntary sex work, including a lot of youth. It might also shelter the elderly.

Furthermore, it might trigger a mass exodus. Kind of like a Moses/exodus/biblical level thing. Everyone being harmed or bothered might hide out. For years.

****

These people crippled me using science fiction weapons. It took them ten years to do it. It took ten years to take me from healthy and fit and fairly strong to the point that they were able to cripple me altogether.

And then they kept me crippled for 7 years, using science fiction weapons. I suffered very badly.

Note: bad doctors and bad advice were part of it. And yes, I did visit the hospital and see doctors (duh).

I am hoping to write up my story properly. And I'll work on it asap.

Who is responsible? A bunch of New Zealanders are responsible for it. Also, they were backed by some Chinese dudes and money. Here are some names: Paul Solt, Tedge Solt, Matthew Solt, Amanda Ward, Brynn Huso, Siobhan, Sarah, Dr Amanda Clarke, Carolyn Jamison, Craig Dawick, Theresa Neches and a few others are some of the most responsible. But perhaps I will be able to tell the story better later. Also, some physiotherapists and doctors. A bunch of them. Jacinda Ardern and Grant Robertson were in power. My uncle Andy was mayor of Wellington while I was crippled and housebound in Princeton Road. Geraldine (the support worker) was present and aware of how bad it was.

****

Music

FWIW, when your body is borked like this it's hard to just chill out and enjoy music. Ditto for back at Khandallah. Which is one of the reasons I listen to rubbish music a lot of the time. Rubbish music is fine. Sometimes it's exactly "what the doctor ordered".

But I prefer music with really good singers, or good melodies, or technically excellent musicians, or the right tone and vibe.

When I was a teenager I used to think to myself that I needed to do "good works" because I am a Christian. But thought that doing basic good works using my time, energy and meagre funds was a little inefficient (I did try a little bit, such as trying to help out with youth group).

But I thought that if I educated myself with the intention of making inventions that were for the benefit of society, or would make enough money to give charitably to society. Then that would be smarter. Or that I could social entrepreneurship. And so I thought of that, and I wanted to developed myself.

But that means investing in myself and my education and abilities so that in the long run I can do something good.

Disclaimer: please don't nitpick, it's close enough to true.

****

But I prefer music with really good singers, or good melodies, or technically excellent musicians, or the right tone and vibe, or people with fantastic voices.

I love Freddie Mercury, Brian May, Michael Jackson, Elton John, Robbie Williams, Supertramp, Pink Floyd, All Star United (Ian Eskelin - unironically a good singer, see his 97 album), Paul Colman of the Paul Colman Trio, I like the Eagles (Hotel California, Lyin Eyes, New Kid in Town), the Beatles, Yngwie Malmsteen, Cheryl Crow (only her first album), Billy Joel, Deep Purple (for the guitar), I like dream theatre (maybe not quite good enough; technically excellent, but lacking soul. Joe Satriani is similar), Jimi Hendrix was ground breaking, and lastly I like some of the harmonies from Simon and Garfunkel.

And Chopin, Mozart, Beethoven and Rammstein.

*Michael Jackson was a great singer and musician, but he’s not a great guy, so I just don’t want to listen to him, I don’t like him. I have decided that it’s a morally bad thing to do to listen to him (for me). But I have to mention him anyway. We all liked him in my family growing up (the guys: me, Matthew and Dad).

****

By the way, I hate the word hot. And I can be a little pedantic about things like which word to use.

****

Hypothetically, what if I happen to know a thing or two about meta cognition. And what if Christians and former Christians are actually better at it than Buddhists (lol). Or die hard occultists.

And hypothetically, what if once you can manage meta cognition, you can reshape your mind. And do a good job of it. Engage in the landscaping of the mind. Firstly you take the single point of consciousness that exists behind the words, and you strengthen it (you don’t dissolve it). And secondly, you take the flow of words, and you identity with it strongly (you don’t let it fade away or melt).

And what happens if you try out Buddhist meditation, and enjoy it. But choose not to agree with the conclusions of it, and carry the sensation or experience of “mindfulness” with you into day to day life. Because it would kill the “ideas machine” in your head, and damage your capacity for abstract thinking.

I dunno. There might be an awful lot of stuff going on, that some people don’t understand.

And you shape that single point of consciousness. It isn’t “real” some people might say. Or should be melted, or smothered. But you say it is an emergent property, that becomes real. So you train it, and develop it. And identify with it very strongly. It becomes that which observes, that which guides the mind, that which manages the theatre of the mind, or manages the workshop of the mind, or observes and judges the debate chamber or discussion table of the mind. There are a lot of metaphors. But the mind can be trained, and greatly improved (depending on what you mean my improving). And you try to retain (and maintain) fluidity and truth side by side. And perhaps create resilience and patience. And self control. What else? The mind-body stuff? I once read a book “the conscious constructive control of the individual, and the use of the self”. The books weren’t great, but the titles are. And I reverse engineered some stuff. There might be stuff that some people can’t understand. And also the connection between posture, mind, body, brain, movement, speech, memory. And also visualisation, and spatial awareness. And how abstract thinking builds upon other things. And how once you can build abstract thinking, you can just keep on using it.

And then also, there is another thing… you might be able to discover something adjacent and inside abstract thinking. And use the _essence_ of it to think, even if people smash the words out of your head, and smash the visualisation capacity, and the subvocalisation capacity, and smash the posture so hard you can’t use the posture to think (properly). And then you have to use this essence of abstract thinking, even though the pure abstract thought part has stopped working the same way, badly damaged, and it’s like you’re using the memory/essence of abstract thought, guided by the “single point of consciousness”, which is (of course) you. And still you guide, observe and push your self to solving problems. But also manage your body consciously. Even though the building blocks (language, and other stuff) have been smashed, disrupted or inhibited. It’s hard to even explain.

Quantum physics and engineering… and perseverance.

****

Once a week

Hypothetically speaking what would have happened if I had said that I wanted to sleep with just one member of the fae, once per week. By that I mean what if I said that I wanted to have just one woman from the fae, and sleep with her no more than once per week.

What if I said that I feel that their society tells me that I am obliged to have a woman in my life (to avoid getting harmed, and to have my health back)? And then said that I want to do the bare minimum.

And that I thought that the bare minimum might be no more than once per week.

And what if I said that I had actually tried this a while back... and asked to be required to have sex with one of their women no more than once a week?

****

I rewrote my life story, part one:

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/05/life-story-part-one.html

It’s pretty much a finished article now.

It is ready to read.

It has changed a bit, and so it might be worth rereading since last time.

****

Over the past few years.

I told these women that I reject them. I said it many times.

I told them that I didn’t want them.

And I also told them on other occasions that I didn’t want sex with “their women” at all.

They just didn’t listen!

***

They just kept on wanting me to make the blanket statement that “I don’t want sex”. But instead I would say that I don’t want you guys, or that I don’t want sex with _your_ women (but that someday I would find a girlfriend of my own, in the distant future).

***

I TRIED SO HARD TO REJECT THE WOMEN

But I couldn’t manage it. They wouldn’t listen.

***

I think that it might be because I said that I just want to get my health back, and that I don’t want the women. They pretended that I “had my health back”. And they pretended that once I “had the magic wand” that I would just chase women anyway. And maybe I needed to word the rejection differently. Without referring to my health. Make the rejection about them, but ignore the health issues, because they pretended that I already had my health back.

But the bottom line is….

I TRIED SO HARD TO REJECT THE WOMEN!

****

Respect:

to feel or show admiration for someone or something that you believe has good ideas or qualities

I don't respect their ideas or qualities. How can I respect them for their qualities? Am I to respect them for their wisdom or competence? Just look at their history. And look at what they’re doing in the present day.

No, of course not.

As for their ideas? Their ideas are stupid.

I have observed and judged them. I have formed opinions of them, and I do not hold them in high regard. I do not admire them. I feel that they are lacking in the qualities that could make me admire them.

So I don't know why they talk to me of disrespecting them. That is the language of an Italian mobster in the movies, but not the language of a wise and competent set of political leaders (CCP). And as for Italian mobsters, I never saw the Godfather and I don't care for movies about the mafia.

****

A very serious matter

By the way, the enormity of what has been done to me (crippling me for 8 years with science fiction weapons, including for 6 years before I knew the fae/dreg or these weapons existed) should not be overlooked.

Ps: they harmed me very badly with these weapons for 10 years before they crippled me altogether. And used healthcare workers to add to the harm and make things worse. And also they commit fertility fraud against me after crippling me for five years, and harming me for 10, so that they could have a genius baby, and then used corrupt police and courts to cover it up. And then corrupted the DIA and subverted the fertility associates clinic to cover up the cover up. They also subverted and corrupted the lawyer from the public defence service.

****

The Bare Minimum

These people should have been talking about the minimum amounts of sex I should be having with these women.

What do I mean by that?

Here is what I mean, if they had asked me, I would have said that I wanted to have sex with one of their women no more than once per week.

And that only as a means to an end.

If that is the price of my being physically safe, having the right to walk around town freely and under my own steam, and of being allowed to have my health back. Then I was willing to tolerate it.

We should have been talking about the minimum amount of sex that I am _required_ to have. We should have been talking about how little sex I could get away with.

Perhaps I should have said that I want “a generic brunette between the age of 25-40”. And to see her once a week. And for her to be someone that I am attracted to.

History:

At one point, I actually told Siobhan that I was willing to sleep with her once per week, merely as a way to get my health back, and so that I could be allowed to (and able to) roam around town on my own two feet, and come and go as I pleased.

She was just a means to an end, I told her so. She was very offended (apparently). This was just before I got tripped and then fell off of the stack of pallets 15ish months ago and nearly got badly injured (just a very sore/hurt knee, but I recovered).

The "game" at the point was that I was fighting for a "settlement" that included sex once a week with Siobhan.

I actually didn't want these women in my life! I wanted to get back to university!

***

To word it better, I was willing to acquiesce to having sex with these women in order to get my health back, and to secure my freedom* and physical safety.

And I tried suggesting that once per week was more than enough.

*by freedom, I mean the freedom to walk around town, the freedom to roam freely, the ability to come and go from my house as I please, the freedom to go to the supermarket to get groceries so that I could cook dinner, the freedom to go to a shop to buy a packet of gum, the freedom to just sit and read a book, the freedom to have a cup of tea and listen to music, the freedom to sort out basic problems in my life such as getting a cheaper place to live. Or sorting out going to the dentist. Or sorting out normal things like buying clothes, socialising, playing cards or board games. Or just the freedom to go to the beach or library. I also need to sort out my eyesight! I can’t even take care of a cat.

****

History:

Do I really want the women?

Do I want them to be mine as sex objects?

The answer to that question is NO!

As for claiming that I had won because I slept with Dasha and enjoyed it, that was a way of getting my health back. I thought that if I claimed the victory, they would give me my health back. And so I claimed it. And then half a dozen women said that they were mine in perpetuity and that I could do anythjng I wanted with them in perpetuity.

And I expected then that I would have my health back. But then I didn't get it back.

I don't actually want to have the women. I think the system sucks. It's nonsense. And also the language these people use, and the means of communication, sucks.

But I was obliged to say that I wanted them to try to get my health back (the magic wand). And then more recently (9ish months ago) I had to say that I had won and claim them to try to "win" my health back.

And then recently I keep on saying that they are "whiny crybaby bratty sore losers" because they keep on attacking me after declaring me victorious.

My goals and intentions and what I want are not the same as what they pretend they are!

I don't have the goals they want me to have.

I want to be well again!!

***

Ps: a lot of the women are pretty! A lot of them!

Extra note: I really, really hate the word hot!!

****

A quick discussion

There are some women who seem to want to have sex with me.

But I don't really want to have sex with them, because I am not well enough. I am not in good health.

Here are two examples of my not being well enough.

I can't shower.

I can't do star jumps.

And even if I could do those things, I might still not be interested.

Those are just examples anyway.

***

When will I be well enough?

I'm not well enough until I say that I am well enough. And that's good enough for me.

End.

I could have made statements like this (or similar) over the past 2-3 years. And in fact I DID make these statements. But they fell on deaf ears.

Link to page:

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/05/why-should-i-want-to-in-first-place.html

****

The main thing I want to do is to get my health back.

I want to physically recover.

To do that, I need a full year without any harm to my body or any interference with my body by electronic means.

And then I will be able to fix the problems with my body. I think. I will rebuild it. That is what I want.

I want to totally sort out the “torso integrity compromised problem”, or what I am labelling the “torso integrity compromised problem” (it isn’t a perfect label). I have ways of doing it. But I’ll need a year.

Link

****

Epistemology is philosophy.

I learned about the epistemology of science and also of physics over the years, and how it relates to experimentation, language and visualisation. And also how it relates to abstract thinking.

I used epistemology to do quantum physics.

And I did quantum physics to come up with innovative new ideas that can help people.

It was philosophy that helped me to do it.

Ps: the scientific method/s involves epistemology…

****

Additional note: I visited Sir Ernest Rutherford’s old laboratory in the basement of the old Christchurch University building, now converted to being a museum. And I stayed in the Rutherford Hotel in his hometown of Nelson for a bit when I was able to walk around in the world. I had 7-8 months outside.

****

A lot of it is actually radio wave physics, statistics, mathematics, computer science, atomic physics, materials science etc. and the concept of wave-particle duality, Schrödinger dead/alive resolution. What is an electron? Inference vs is. Experimentation vs models. Love of experimental physics over theoretical physics, love of Rutherford’s work, and liking him as a person. Strong dislike for Albert Einstein and his cult of personality.

And a fairly strong dislike for Plato and his work that I hope you don’t copy. A love for Faraday and his Puritanism and his belief in the primacy of experimentation. And directly learning from Faraday’s language and experiments as described in Wikipedia. And the idea (his idea?) that physical reality must be driven by empirical observation rather than strict, mathematical assumptions.

And also I liked Cixin Liu and his series the three body problem, the concept of a sophon and the idea of being a “wall facer”. Technically his series is called something else. But I like the sophon idea.

And I love abstract thinking!! Just use things to represent other things. And figure it out like that. And then create visualisations, and experiments. And then you see what the results are, and then create potential product solutions; prototypes.

And then you come up with scalable, marketable products that people want to buy within the bounds of consumer oriented capitalism, and which could be produced using the tools of industrial capitalism, and then also financed using the tools of financial capitalism.

****

If you are someone with a mind worth protecting from these neo-oriental, crypto Buddhists who want to turn you into a dunderhead, then maybe a faraday sheltered environment is just what the doctor ordered. Maybe a woman who believes in women’s autonomy: celibacy, morality, autonomy, education and being free to make your own choices; to use your own judgement. Maybe a man who just wants to relax and play games. Or maybe a monk. Or who knows what?

Even 5-10 years from now, maybe you will still be seeking shelter, and we will be building these. It might be a totally different world. We may have many people over many years becoming faraday hermits so that they can shelter their minds from harm and avoid becoming a dunderhead, or a victim of the hivemind experiment, suffering because of it. Not everyone wants to become part of a hivemind.

Even years in the future…

****

I want to write up my life story, parts five and six.

But any time I try to write anything, I get physically attacked and harmed. And my brain gets smashed. Sometimes every sentence is a struggle.

****

From a conversation:

People are free to choose what sort of people they are working on becoming: intellectually and morally?

Are the developing themselves morally?

Are they disciplining their intellects?

They can choose to become a more worthwhile person.

And if they live amongst worthless people who drag them down. Then many of them are free to choose to find a new bunch of people (like a Chinese person quitting the CCP and leaving the PRC to go to the USA and become a Chinese-Christian).

They can also join a bunch of people who are also working to become more worthwhile people, such as a church (or in the interests of full inclusion, perhaps a mosque, synagogue, Zoroastrian group, stoic group, secular humanist group). And ideally this place will have a code of conduct and system of belief that will help them to become more excellent.

The people around you matter.

Education:

Schools and libraries are also good. And there are many opportunities for education everywhere you can find them.

I like golden rule people, I like love your neighbour as yourself people. I like fruits of the spirit people. I like people who read books like proverbs and develop wisdom, I like people who read psalms and say to themselves, "I love the law of Moses, just like King David". I like people who choose to adopt high quality moral standards and live up to them.

Who are you choosing to be, and choosing to become on a daily basis?

****

FWIW, I didn’t have a very good family or good friends.

****

The only reason/s I was trying to sleep with these women was to secure my physical safety, and to have my physical health and functionality returned to me. These two things are inextricably linked.

****

I just finished writing my life story part three and four.

My life story part one

My life story part two

My life story part three and four

^ this last one is the one I just finished writing. Part one and two actually need a lot of work. Especially part one. Part three and four is ready. It is as ready as I think it is going to get. But don’t forget, there is a lot more left to write! It only gets you up to the start of 2009. After that, I stay sick. And also get worse. And plenty of years pass before the thing they did in late 2017. Lots of things happen along the way.

****

Quick Blurb

****

What I want most is to have the use of this violent technology on my body and brain banned. I really don’t care about women or money compared to that.

In exchange for that I would _probably_ be quite happy to give up access to the women and the money. I would be happy to give up posting to my website/s. And I would be okay with not doing the ideology that isn't an ideology, "reverse social engineering". Or posting political theories online.

And I need the use of this technology on my body and brain banned so that I can rehabilitate myself physically. Without interference.

However, I kind of don't have a great deal of faith or confidence in the idea that we can make such a deal or otherwise sort it out? It's too hard to negotiate.

****

My father, Paul Solt, is an ITTF certified professional table tennis coach. He specialised in coaching women’s table tennis and youth table tennis. He is currently awaiting trial on charges of child molestation. He likes kissing little girls and touching them in between the legs (allegedly). There are multiple very serious charges against him. He is out on bail, but only on the condition that he is confined to his mother’s house in Karori. He is basically under house arrest.

The girl in question is thought to be half Chinese and half NZ European. She was about 11 years old at the time.

He has violated bail at least twice. Once by going to a prohibited location (the local swimming pool, he is banned from there). And once for coaching another little girl in table tennis (he is banned from coaching table tennis). He has been rearrested twice. And he spent several weeks in prison over the Christmas break.

More information:

He used to be the vice president of table tennis New Zealand.

And he was the president of Wellington table tennis. His Facebook page said that he was president there for 12 years. He was also a prominent coach at Wellington table tennis for many years.

He accompanied the woman’s NZ team to Zagreb international tournament.

His son Matthew had a paid job with the ITTF.

Paul also has/had a business selling table tennis equipment. This was a significant source of income to him.

He was chairman of the board at Lake Taupo Christian School. He owns and has run an explicitly Christian business (Kingdom Music) for many years. His brother-in-law Andy Foster used to be his closest friend. Andy Foster used to be mayor of Wellington and is now a member of parliament.

My father attacked me at my home three years ago. And tried to break in by kicking the door down. And then lied to the police about it. He also tried to have me institutionalised (filed a section 8b). I am actually in danger.

****

Restatement:

Amanda and Brynn engaged in fertility fraud against someone that they had crippled for 5 ish years using science fiction weapons, and had previously harmed him very badly using these same science fiction weapons.

Since then, they (and their Chinese counterparts in what I am calling the China-Kiwi Partnership) have crippled him for an additional 3 years in an attempt to cover it up. It is actually a very serious crime. And they have also used corrupt doctors and police officers, as well as a corrupt lawyer from the public defence service to cover it up. And encouraged corruption at the department of internal affairs to help to cover it up. His father assaulted him, as part of a cover up. His father also filed a section 8b to get him institutionalised or controlled by mental health services. He did this as part of a cover up. And Brynn and Siobhan have been stalking and harassing him, hanging around his property again and again.

The Chinese have supported this operation for years. As full partners.

I would very much like to have a bit of peace and quiet where I can write up my story comfortably.

****

I used to engage in a bit of amateur political theorising as a way to keep my mind alert and active. It was a pastime, and a bit of a passion project. It found it to be interesting. It was a hobby.

What else? I used to educate myself long term so that one day I could become an inventor (aka ideas guy + engineer). Even when I was sick, I was still training my mind with the end goal in mind of becoming an inventor. And I was still educating myself to that end.

I wasn’t a hardcore political activist. I was a cripple who was crippled by the “Kiwi/China Partnership”.

Note: one aspect of my theorising was called “reverse social engineering”. It was a big topic, but not the only one. Perhaps it is better to not focus entirely on “labels” or “categories”.

****

If you pick on a hobbyist inventor, he might just invent something! A hobbyist engineer from an English (And New Zealander) background might just invent something super useful, when pressed!

****

The Chinese and Kiwi partnership crippled me for seven years, that is from late 2017 to late 2024.

They then crippled me for one year from approximately April 2025 to April 2026.

This means that they have crippled me for 8 years.

Prior to that, they harmed me very badly for many years. Which I would like to write about sometime soon. This includes a number of years (2012-2017) as an invalid. Although exactly how you account for the years 2010 - 2012 is a good question. I would say that I was an invalid, and incapable of working a job, or studying, as well.

They tell lies and mislead people about this. And “play silly buggers” when I try to set the record straight.

****

I used to engage in a bit of amateur political theorising as a way to keep my mind alert and active. It was a pastime, and a bit of a passion project. It found it to be interesting.

I wasn’t a hardcore political activist. I was a cripple who was crippled by the “Kiwi/China Partnership”.

****

Some History and Backstory

I tried to opt out of this system (and the fae in general) on ethical grounds.

I thought that it was unethical (immoral) to join it, because it is cruel to others.

I thought that it might be unethical to try to fight against the system. That is, to engineer some "solutions" that might "disrupt" the system enough to bring it down in favour of a true and genuine democracy. The reason I felt that it might be unethical is that there was perhaps a 20-30% chance that I might actually be too good at it, and actually take it down, causing mass civil wars and associated carnage. This is because I thought that my political theories and skill as an inventor (innovator, ideas guy, technologist, generalist and engineer) might be too strong for them.

And so I tried to opt out of fighting against the system.

Furthermore, I tried to opt out of having a harem, because I thought that it was inherently coercive.

I told them that in theory I wouldn’t mind a voluntary “libertarian” harem, where women offered to sleep with me indefinitely. Because they wanted to. But that their “models” for a harem seemed silly and horrible. And were inherently coercive, and so I didn’t want them.

Lastly, I have many times requested a face to face conversation with someone sensible so that I might discuss these issues with them.

****

My life story part one

My life story part two

My life story part three and four

^It is still a work in progress. But it’s very useful and well worth reading.

****

By the way, if I get the information that I want from the DIA. Brynn and Amanda would probably end up going to jail. Paul will probably have his assault case reopened, and perhaps be charged with a crime for making a false report to the police and then having a health professional file a section 8b. An 8b is when you try to get someone committed. Furthermore, the DIA, NZ police and the DHB will all end up very embarrassed. And "Fertility Associates" (our country’s biggest fertility clinic) may also end up with bad publicity. Perhaps also experience civil consequences or criminal charges. Or job losses, or loss of honours (two of them were members of the NZOM). And the local free youth clinic might look really, really bad. Also, I would probably end up with custody! Although, she might have a foster family until I can physically function…

So the incentives are that they should double down...

AND my uncle was mayor too, while I was crippled and in that place. And is currently in parliament is Chairperson of the Transport & Infrastructure Select Committee, as well as other roles. He is in our nationalist party.

Ps: I tried multiple times to get information from the dia and fertility associates . But they denied me access to information that is rightfully mine, again and again. They did this because Brynn (or someone similar) was whispering in their ear. Furthermore, Amanda used to work for The Charities Commission, as part of the DIA.

Janet Turnbull (NZOM) works/worked for the DBH and the ORA. She made a false report. A very, very false report. In writing. In an attempt to sanitise this situation. She is a very prominent doctor and a lesbian.

Added: it is also fairly likely that I would be able to sue both Amanda and Brynn, as well as fertility associates, for quite a bit of money. And also reopen the question of spousal maintenance and/or child support and/or divorce settlement. Basically, it could involve quite a bit of money. So I guess that it is no surprise that Brynn is so “anti” me… And so desperately wants control. Ditto for the Chinese.

****

The negatives of having to talk inside my own head to interact with their systems probably are about equal to the positives of having access to easy, guilt free sex with intelligent attractive women who don't have diseases and don't want to get pregnant.

I don't want to use the inner apparatus of my mind to interact with their computer systems or social structures. That is a misuse of the human mind. In many ways, I have a good mind, and I just don't like these “psychic” conversations.

****

To the Chinese part of the set.

Can you "burn" the whole operation:

Pull all support from Brynn, Siobhan, Grace, Amanda, Sarah (lawyer)

Also from Paul, Matthew, Joseph Chapman, Jesse

Maybe Andrew London, unsure if still involved.

The main ones are Brynn, Siobhan, Amanda, Sarah (lawyer) and Paul.

****

By the way

I have a ton of my story written down on paper, but I haven’t got it put together yet.

****

Abundance

If you want to know how we came to have such an abundant society, please listen to this lecture series.

The Industrial Revolution by Patrick N. Allitt of Emory University.

It’s very good!

Note: for some of you, this is old news. You’ve already learned a lot of it. And you can skip it. But even a lot of you who are educated and have read a lot of books could enjoy a lecture series like this one.

****

Brynn Huso is the genetic mother of Lily, who was conceived by means of IVF. This was done without my knowledge or consent. This is a criminal matter, and could land both Brynn and Amanda in jail. And put Lily in foster care (or in my custody! If I were well enough and free!!). She is the one who has been speaking into everyone’s ears. By wifi.

Note: pictures of Brynn and Lily and Amanda are available on my other website. Alongside DNA test results. This constitutes evidence as far as I am concerned.

Ps: I am still working on my life story. That is my main goal.

****

Ps: back when running around for those 6-7 months... I was led to believe that I might be crippled if I so much as stopped following instructions, let alone started speaking up. And I thought I might be kept crippled for months or years. And I knew given that I hadn't fixed my torso, it would be easy to re-cripple me. And so I didn't speak up.

Second unrelated issue:

I was led to believe that to "win" the overall prize, that I was required to do something gross or pervey. However, I was also led to believe (or believed) that merely engaging in sex in general should be enough to win me "the magic wand", and with it my health back. But as it so happened, it was not enough..:

The pervey acts: anal or "a burger".

The act to get my health back "one cream pie", is what I was led to believe would have been sufficient...

Both of these paragraphs are unedited ^ and quickly written.

It is very important that I communicate this.

****

Multiple words to describe the same thing

丑女 / 醜女 (chǒu nǚ): Used in both modern and traditional contexts.

丑陋的女人 (chǒu lòu de nǚ rén): More descriptive, meaning "an ugly woman".

媸 (chī): A formal or literary character specifically denoting an ugly woman.

醜女 (traditional) or 丑女 (simplified) are often used for describing an ugly woman, according to and.

丑女人 (chǒu nǚ rén): A more colloquial and often insulting way to refer to an ugly woman.

母夜叉 (mǔ yè chā): A term for a fierce, malicious, or ugly woman.

Can a woman be described as a mǔ yè chā or chǒu nǚ? Or does exactly only one of them get to be true?

If you make a banana cake, can you be cooking, baking, or preparing. Three terms.

****

English Culture: an unhinged and disorganised rant

William Wordsworth, Samuel Taylor Coleridge, John Keats, Lord Byron, Percy Bysshe Shelley, and William Blake, Jane Austen, Bronte, Edgar Allen Poe, (Goethe)

^I don't like these people. They don't represent us.

We are the people of the electromagnet, electricity, electric motors, the steam engine, the telegraph, the power loom, wool industry, coal mine, boot manufacturing and shoe industry, tableware manufacturing and silverware manufacturing industry. Faraday, Rutherford, Alexander Graeme Bell, Brunel, Telford. We are more to do with engineering and the royal society.

Who? The UK and colonies such as Australia, New Zealand and Canada. As well as the New England colonies and the Scottish and English that settled there.

If you want to know what English culture is, then take a class on electromagnetism. Wind a magnet, read about faraday, visit Rutherford's old lab in Christchurch, read J.E. Gordon. Go sailing, get drunk on rum while at sea. And have a gin and tonic. Pour gallons of terrible tea down your throat. Practise chemistry, read about Humphrey Davies. Marvel, absolutely marvel at the beauty and wonder of British shoe design, boot design, leather working and industrial weaving technology. Chop up your dinner with a Sheffield knife and drink something out of a Wedgwood mug. We are more to do with wool, textiles, tableware, knife ware, cutlery, boats and shipbuilding, alcohol, tea, BOOTS, Dunlop leather shoes and associated technologies, than poems about love, shrubs, hedges and flowers.

^ off the cuff and unedited

Also, we are not defined by King Arthur, camelot, chivalry, lord of the rings or any of that, or as I said above, the romantic movement. The romantic movement was a reaction against who and what we actually were. We are the people who made good and affordable consumer goods available and ubiquitous. Shoes on every foot, blankets on every bed, furniture in every home, coats on every back, and hats in every head. Books on every shelf and pens in every hand. We made the material realities of life possible. And we have one of the oldest living intellectual traditions in the world, and two of the best and oldest educational institutions ever in existence (like Cambridge and Oxford). Our intellectual scene is amazing (even though a decent thwack of evil is to be found in there).

And it isn't the Spanish, French, Swedes or Norwegians, or the Polish or Latvians or Italians or Portuguese. I'm not talking about them. It's the British, the English, the Scottish. And associated colonies and former empire. Ps: the Germans do tons too.

If you want to know more, then please look at this lecture series. It's very good, and not too tough, not even for ESL people or the poorly educated (ymmv).

https://shop.thegreatcourses.com/the-industrial-revolution

Bottom line: the romantic movement sucks. Magnets, electricity and mass manufacturing are better.

****

The British invented chocolate bars. See also: fry’s.

****

I would very much like to have Brynn expelled from my life, she is a bad egg. I would like to bypass all other questions, conversations and discussions on the matter, and merely to have her expelled.

****

I engaged in amateur political theorising as a hobby. I would theorise in the area of democratic reformism, social engineering and total civilisation redesign. I did this for many years. I would come up with ideas, create theories and frameworks. I would engage in study and research. I would create sample policies. And at one point I created a design philosophy called reverse social engineering.

I also have spent years of my life wanting to become an inventor/scientist. And to that end I have read a lot of books, learned a lot of things, and educated myself quite a bit. I have practised some of the techniques associated with creativity and problem solving. These include things such as brainstorming, keeping an ideas book, "daydreaming and ideas walks", wide reading in a number of topics, extensive reading. And also I tried to learn a variety of skills that might later synergise with inventiveness and innovation (such as computer programming, design, 3d graphics, woodwork, metalwork, working with magnets etc). I also went to university to study business.

I used to engage in my hobby of political theorising to keep my mind active and healthy. And to pass the time. While I was very unwell and/or crippled.

****

These inventions could be used to stymie the sex trafficking and sex slavery of women. With these inventions actually in place all across the world, women could seek refuge and decide for themselves if they want to keep on being sex workers. If they choose to exit sex work, they could find a way to _physically_ make it happen. They would also have time and space in their own minds where they could think it through, and at the end of the day they would be _free to choose_ for themselves how to live.

Don’t forget, many of these women were trafficked in childhood too.

With any luck, there might be a mass exodus.

See also: Exodus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Exodus

****

Ever since I was 8ish years old. I have wanted to be an inventor. But more importantly, I have worked on the skills associated. Like keeping ideas books, improving my brainstorming skills, dreaming up and developing ideas while walking (I loved walking, because it gives me time to think), learning new skills and reading many books, reading to improve my general and specific knowledge to help me to become an inventor.

****

Jim Elliot was one of the sorts of person I looked up to when I was young.

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They used science fiction weapons to cripple me for seven years.

I just don’t think that’s right.

****

I got heaps of blood tests, as a part of trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I need to get back to writing my story. I even got weird tests too. Like allergy tests, GTT (glucose tolerance, 2 hr test), over night sleep studies and lots of stuff. They tested a lot of things.

****

Yes, the Chinese government has significantly embraced and revived Confucianism in recent decades, shifting from strict rejection under Mao Zedong to adopting it as a tool for promoting social stability, cultural identity, and ideological alignment with socialist goals. Under Xi Jinping, the party encourages Confucian values like hierarchy, social responsibility, and filial duty to bolster social order and bolster national identity.

And they still use Han Chinese characters. Which are almost inextricably tied in with Confucius and his Analects, which is the reference work for the Chinese characters themselves (see also the field of philology).

****

I did amateur hobbyist political theory between 2017 and 2022. I did it to keep myself sane and to keep my mind active. I was very unwell after all. I was totally crippled! But I wasn’t a political activist. Not in any real or meaningful sense.

I used to also invent political theories for fun as far back as 2009? But that was mostly related to economics.

I also have always enjoyed creating ideas for things like video games, inventions and housing developments. And used to have a hobby of studying and learning about things like architecture, criminology, history and the social sciences.

****

Did Brynn have ivf babies up her sleeve? Like, pre fertilised eggs ready to go. So it would be easy to get herself pregnant, and fast. And right DNA.

****

I was a civilian, and a non combatant. And they made me sick for four years, an invalid for five, and crippled for seven. During those years, I used to come up with political ideas. Including a set of ideas loosely called "reverse social engineering. It wasn't an ideology, but if it was, it was one that hoped to make society into a "genuine democracy". But I was just coming up with ideas as a hobby to keep myself sane. My life was horrible.

After I got out of that situation, and found out how bad things were, and that I had been crippled (electronically) on purpose, and kept that way for years. I wanted to be apolitical, throw the money and the women away, and then be left alone to live out my life in peace.

After how much I had suffered, I just wanted to be left alone to live my life in peace. That's how bad those 7 years were (and the previous 5 weren't so great either!).

(As for the ideas: It was also supposed to destroy "control mechanisms", put the power to do actual social engineering into the hands of the people, place power over the culture into the hands of the people, instead of the UN or universities and stuff. We would let the people themselves be cultural architects (architects of their own culture, by democratic means). And give people the capacity for self governance, self ownership etc at the nation state level. And control mechanisms, I saw education and the media as control mechanisms. And so I wanted to do something about those too.

Furthermore, I always felt that reverse social engineering would have to be done by means of a physical invention, or intervention, and that mere policies would be insufficient. And it was “a hobby of an inventor”. Or the hobby of a man who wanted to be an inventor. So it is natural that given that the main thing I wanted to do would supply the goods for the other thing unwanted to do. The invention would have to be scalable. And once the invention was created, then the policies would work).

Please restore me to health, but more importantly, please ban the use of the tools that were used on me to cripple me, and also has been used to execute my grandfather (yes, he was already old and had other problems, but they did take him out in the end, using these same tools, and it took ages).

Ps: I always wanted to be an inventor

****

I want the use of this technology on my body to be banned completely. That is, no messing with my muscles or my brain.

They used it to make me into an invalid for five years and a cripple for seven. They also have made me a cripple for a further ten months. It’s too horrible.

They crippled me for seven years, and because of that I want the use of this technology banned on my body. I don’t want to have it tightening up my neck muscles, psoas, iliacus, shoulders or chest. I also don’t want to have it affecting my brain.

I suffered so much in those seven years that the moment I found out (in mid 2024 iirc) that my being crippled was caused electronically, I just wanted to be allowed to have my health back, and to be left alone forever. I wanted nothing to do with these people called the fae. I just wanted to be able to live out my life in peace. I wanted to spend my time reading, drinking tea, and to have a cat.

The women violently forced me to participate in games where they tried to force me to desire them. Ahahaha. Is there anything more pathetic than a middle aged woman who is desperate to have men be crazy about her (Or women).

I just wanted to be left alone to live my life in peace.

****

Topic:

I want to be healthy

I wanna be able to do star jumps, jump rope, bush walks, squats, planks and pushups before I get involved with women, or otherwise consider myself healthy. Also, I can't even shower! And I very much want to get some dental work done. By the way, a filling cracked and fell out the other day.

Ps: I am contented with push ups from my knees, but the squats should be good squats.

Being healthy again is much, much more important to me than women. I also would like to spend time going for walks and reading.

****

Topic:

Amanda and Brynn

Amanda and Brynn have been a couple since high school. I didn’t know about this. At least not until I found out in 2022.

They are a serious couple. Also, Brynn and Lesley get along and are fairly close. Lesley is kind of like Brynn’s mother in law. The used to go camping and tramping together, along with Amanda. They are like family. Basically they are family. Lesley is Amanda’s mother, and used to be my mother in law. Amanda and I are now legally divorced by the way.

Amanda and Brynn had a baby together. Using my sperm and Amanda's egg. Using IVF. They did so without my consent or knowledge. This is very, very illegal. They then tried to cover it up using the (corrupt) New Zealand police and the (corrupt) New Zealand courts and the (corrupt) public defence service of New Zealand. And they crippled me for seven years as part of bringing this about. I have also been sick and/or an invalid for years because of people like this.

They wanted my babies. This is partly because they wanted a baby with high iq, I guess. But also because they wanted to damage my life.

And now Brynn wants to become my long term "partner". And at one point she wanted to have 4 babies with me. She violently threatened me and coerced me into agreeing to have 4 babies with her. And two with another friend and associate of hers (Grace).

I don’t want to have children with Brynn!

I also don’t want to have children with Grace!

I don't want Brynn. And I don't like her. By the way, she and I used to be friends! We were friends before all of this happened.

We were friends many years ago, before all of this happened. And long before I discovered that Amanda was living a double life.

I would like to discontinue my association with Brynn Huso. She is a bad person.

****

They commit fertility fraud. It is a serious crime. And they did it to a cripple/invalid. And they have been harassing and stalking me for years in an attempt to cover it up. They have been engaging in intimidation and stalking. This is actually a very serious criminal matter.

They also recruited friends to help. Including Siobhan, who was stalking me. Her friend Siobhan showed up in Christchurch, Auckland and Te Anau (I think she showed up in Te Anau).

****

Next topic…

The Partnership: China and New Zealand

There is a partnership that has existed for many years. I call it the China/Kiwi Partnership. And they…

They made me sick for four years, an invalid for five years, and crippled for seven years. This happened alongside being sold out by my family; and lied to by my family, friends, in-laws, doctors, physiotherapists and church, and viewed for years on a metaphorical camera for years. Given that this happened, reality basically has ceased to exist (emotionally and psychologically, sort of). Even parliamentarians sat back and watched it happen, and our prime minster (Ardern) said that my treatment was state sanctioned. And my Uncle was Mayor of Wellington during three years of it.

They crippled me for seven years. And they did so in a manner that was thoroughly disgusting and disturbing. Because of that, I am unwilling to follow instructions from them.

For a while, I was willing to follow instructions, because they pretended that they were going to give me my health back if I "won" their game. But I now know that they were dishonest about that.

They crippled from 2017 to 2024. They also made me an invalid from 2012 to 2017 and sick from December 2006 until 2012*.

*There are a few minor exceptions to that last point.

The experience of living like I lived from

2017-2024, living crippled like that, is a source of genuine and extreme horror to me. And now they have crippled me in much the same way again.

Genuine and extreme horror: You don’t have to believe me for it to be true.

****

I am hoping that I can get a bit of rest, and then write a bit more. My back hurts.

I have some basic housekeeping, and blog updates to do as well. Normal house stuff to do.

Ummm. I would like to wind this whole situation up. Or I would have like to have already done it! But the other guys don’t know how to negotiate 😅. It’s crazy tbh!
What else, oh. I know. I reckon that these people wanted to use “silver chains” on me. Which is that they use the techniques and tools on my body to control me, and torment and harm me, that were already used to cripple me for seven years, and were actually used to kill my grandfather.

To modify my body, as they have, and then to use these tools to further harm me, or make me suffer, or to torment me… is a non-starter. And to think that they wanted to combine it with sexual relations with women? Carrot and the stick. It is clearly a non-starter. They are just being backwards.

Also, they were supposed to restore me to health already. Just for landing Dasha.

Ps: China is just “backwards” and bad at categorisation. As well as being sub par when it comes to abstract thinking.

FWIW, I think that their language (and grammar) is to blame. But maybe that is a conversation for another day.
Extra note: I spoke with the Chinese earlier, and they seem to be somewhat dismissive of higher level abstract thinking in general.

The Chinese want me to prove to them that I was crippled for seven years. By the Chinese/Kiwi set. And to explain to them why and how it happened.

…

And they keep putting it all in categories such as “de-conditioning” or something.

Or they try to suggest that if I made it for a walk to the end of the street once, with great difficulty I might add!, then it counts as that I wasn’t too crippled to walk down the street. But this is just to misuse abstract thinking.

They don’t use categories properly.

Also, just to reiterate:

They made me sick for four years, and an invalid for 5 years and then crippled for 7 years. Then had a bit of time outside to roam, and now I have been crippled for about 10 months.

The time I had outside to roam was weird, and I was still fairly limited in my ability to move properly.

To modify my body, as they have, and then to use these tools to further harm me, or make me suffer, or to torment me… is a non-starter.

^The prospect of this would be a source of horror for me…

*****

This following update was added already to my life story parts three and four.

Amanda and religion

Amanda became a Christian back in high school. I met her when we were fifteen. I had just moved from one town to another. And I didn’t know anyone. We up ended sitting together in mathematics (they put me in mainstream math, ugh, I had done very badly in the streaming test for reasons I have explained elsewhere). She and I were also in Accounting and Japanese together. We quickly became friends.

She was a troubled girl with a less than ideal upbringing. When I first met her, she had claimed that she was molested by her step father (her mother’s husband). She also told me that her father was an alcoholic and exposed her to drug use. She had a lot of stories about her father, who she really didn’t seem to like.

She was vaguely associated with the same set of people who also went to the Coast Community Church, without being one of them. She had gone, on occasion to church events or evenings, but it wasn’t her cup of tea. I was an attendee of the Coast Community Church. It was my “home church”.

When she was about 17/18, she became a Christian. Partly I think it was because her Nana Kath suggested it and gave her some religious literature, and partly because I invited her along to church.

We believed in things like salvation and the forgiveness of sins. And of being a new person. She came along to church with us. She was baptised. The idea is that you are saved, forgiven, and that your sins are washed away, and that you have “become a new person in Christ”. She did a pre baptism course with the Cotton family, who were a respected family at our church. She was baptised by Stan Rolston, one of the longterm elders of the church. Later on we volunteered with the youth group a bit, in our early twenties.

Jesse Orchard was a mutual friend, his father, Geoff Orchard, was (and is) an elder. I think that he may have been merely a deacon back then? But I cannot recall. Nathan Thatcher was also a mutual friend. Nathan and Jesse were both school friends and church friends. Ditto for Ashley King. John and Lauren Cosgrove were church friends of ours also. A lot of mutual friends and acquaintances visited our church, or attended it. If even for just a couple services, or a few youth group events. It was fairly popular back when I was 15/16, and Andrew Crawshaw was still running it. Rachael Burston came along a bit as well. She was Amanda’s closest friend in High School.

Amanda and I were the sort of couple who talked about religion or belief often, and would pray before bed. I used to read and study the Bible often.

More information about Amanda’s parents and drug use.

Amanda used to say that her dad passed out drunk a few times in front of her. And on one occasion she thought he was dead. And then she had to climb out of the window, to go home. And that after that she didn’t see him for ages. She said that when she stayed with him as a child, the house was always cold, dirty and horrible. They didn’t have enough blankets etc. Her father was a punk, and had actually joined or started a band. He was that type. The band was called “Goat Rider”, and on stage he used to ride a rocking horse with a goat’s skull on it while breathing fire. And on one occasion, his hair caught fire. They even showed me the video one day. He had since quit drinking and become a lay teacher in the Anglican Church (He was a member of St. Mark in Raumati Beach). He later got a masters degree in theology. His job was a copy editor, or editor, or in charge of layouts for magazines or something. He worked on the magazine for the nursing council of NZ (which is a respected Government entity).

Her mother was an alcoholic also. But according to Amanda, “never used to drink around Amanda” when Amanda was growing up. Lesley drank way too much all her life, and she still does, as far as I know. She also was a neglectful mother who didn’t feed Amanda proper food. And used to feed her too much sweet stuff. Amanda ate too much junk food when she was young. And even had to have baby teeth removed!! And this led to her adult teeth growing in wrong and crooked. Which is disturbing!?

Amanda also engaged in self harm back in high school, and used to cut herself with pieces of glass. And at one point had cuts on her arms. All over her arms. It’s horrific. I don’t understand why teenage girls are like this!

Her Nana Kath was a good influence on Amanda. And encouraged Amanda to become a Christian.

What else…??

The Orchard family

The Orchard family consisted of Geoff and Christine Orchard, Jesse Orchard, David Orchard, Karl Orchard and Annalise Orchard.

I spent plenty of time with them both as a teenager and afterwards. When I first moved to Kapiti, my father was a member of the CCC (before switching to the Meadows Pentecostal Church). Dad encouraged me to be a part of their life.

Jesse Orchard later married Natalie Hymers. I used to work alongside Natalie Hymers as a cleaner. We both went to Paraparaumu College. And we both went to the CCC youth group. She was a flatmate of ours, and very difficult, filthy and messy. We worked to basically “house train” her. She was a friend. Her mother and step father were meth addicts who abused and neglected their children.

Geoff ran a joinery, the orchard joinery. It was the family business. Christine worked in the joinery a little bit too. But was mostly an office worker and home maker. Their family was briefly over in Papua New Guinea as missionaries. Also, Jesse used to attend the local Christian school which used to have the ACE system. The local Christian school was located on Tutanekai street, which is exactly right beside KYS, the local free youth medical clinic.

David Orchard married Emma (I forget her maiden name), who had previously dated Andrew Crawshaw. Andrew Crawshaw was the youth pastor for a while at the CCC. And baptised me. Andrew Crawshaw later boarded at our house, and has also worked for my father. He is a musician, and also ran a music shop for a while in Kapiti. David Orchard became a youth pastor. He and his wife worked at “Kapiti Impact Church”. And then worked at the Zeal Youth Development Centre. For all I know, he might still be there.

What else?

Both David Orchard and Jesse Orchard faked having “chronic fatigue syndrome” and/or “post viral fatigue syndrome”.

David Orchard faked having cfs back when I was about 17-19. He had months and months of it. He had to quit his job, and it was horrible. People acted as though he was dying, or that he was experiencing something like terminal decline. He just slept all day, and couldn’t do anything. He was married, and his wife Emma had to support the both of them. They moved as a couple up north to Auckland, because they wanted to work in ministry. And then while he was up north, a pastor prayed for him, and he was miraculously healed. It was at a healing meeting at a pentecostal/charismatic church. He was healed just in an instant. He actually gave a talk up front in the CCC to tell us all about his miraculous healing. It was a big deal. He went from sick and feeling awful, to being out-and-about and exercising again. Just straight away he was doing stuff like kayaking and getting fit. He actually did have problems for years, and eventually had a shoulder surgery. But I’m not sure if this was related to the cfs.

I also stayed with David and Emma for about 3-4 days when I was 18. He just slept all day. How it happened is that my father went away for a week, and needed a space for me to stay, because he didn’t trust me to stay home alone without him for a week (!!!). I was put into Jesse Orchard’s house for that week. My father and Jesse’s father arranged it. They had known one another for a fair while. But then Jesse’s grandfather died and they needed more space at the Orchard’s house for visiting relatives. And so I ended up staying a few nights with David and Emma Orchard, at the house where they were house sitting. It was a fairly nice house, with a nice pet dog. And only 5 minutes walk away from my usual place of residence at Linwood Drive. Anyway, he had “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome” and was very unwell. I say faking, but I think he actually had symptoms. And that his symptoms were electronically induced. He looked unwell. He looked awful, dreadful, or whatever adjective you prefer.

Jesse faked having CFS when I was about 19-21 (I can’t fully recall exactly when he “had” it). But anyway, he became sick. Natalie and he had just become a couple. She was his girlfriend. And then he got sick. And he had about 18 months as a sick person. I forget exactly how long. But I was sick at the same time. We were friends and both sick. He played a lot of World of Warcraft. He rode on his exercise bike (graded exercise therapy), to prevent de conditioning, and he took Powerade which he made from powder to maintain electrolytes. He went to many, many doctor’s appointments. And he got a lot of blood tests. His brother used to drive him to appointments. He was as sick as a dog. He did balance table therapy as well (which just made him unwell). He lived at home with his parents. He probably had electronically induced symptoms.

As part of his story, he claimed that he was healed through prayer. But then he later changed his story to say that it was just counselling and quitting world of warcraft. He also said that playing world of Warcraft gave him a “fake sense of achievement”. What else? He had later stints of poor health in his life, and he never really did much in life. He did a diploma in IT in his late twenties. He was a high school graduate. He and I were friends. He was my best friend in high school. Which is complicated thing, okay? Because it was like.. by default? Because who else would fill that slot? Aaron? Amanda? Max? I felt like we weren’t hugely close, and I didn’t know him perfectly well. But who else? I definitely wasn’t his best friend, that seemed to be Chips (aka Jono), or “tall Daniel”, or Chris Westwood. But he was mine. Probably I felt like my closest “friends” were my family.

Chips was one of Jesse’s friends. He liked footman frenzy, and other Warcraft Three: Frozen Throne based games. He had a car, and used to drive people places. His real name was Jonathan East. He went flatting for a bit with Jesse and (tall) Daniel up in Palmerston North, which was a bit of a debacle. He tried to do an OE in the UK, which was a disaster. And then worked as a call centre operator for WINZ for a number of years.

****

Christianity

I was a Christian, and quite religious. It’s difficult to explain that now. Because I’m on the outside of that whole thing, looking back in on it. I’m on the outside looking in, if that makes sense. And some of it is good, and some of it still makes sense to me. But some of it seems odd. And I have also have had a thoroughly horrible life in some ways.

So anyway, I was the type of person to do daily devotionals, read the Bible every day. I had Bible reading plans. I went to church and youth group. I kept attending church as an adult. I read Christian books, and borrowed books from the church library. What else? I went to pastors and elders for advice. David Walker and Jesse Orchard were both pastors kids. Mike McHocking was a pastor, and a family friend. And their family was important to ours. I didn’t trust non Christians, and I mistrusted liberal Christians. I went to Bible studies (such as the one ran by Jared and Amanda Doncliff), and even invited Jenna and Natalie along to it. Jenna briefly became a Christian, but that fizzled out. I was often to be found lying down in the middle of the lounge floor in 5 Weka Road, in front of the fireplace, reading the Bible. Accompanied by one or more cats. Later in my life I would listen to Christian podcasts and recorded sermons as a way to pass the time. I listened to an audio Bible recording, I listened to sermons, and I listened to ministry podcasts. I also grew up going to the parachute music festival. And I memorised scripture. I even had flash cards. And had a prayer journal, at one point.

Amanda and I were the sort of couple who talked about religion or belief often, and would pray before bed. I used to read and study the Bible often.

****

John Jennings

I used to believe that it was important to have good people to talk to. Good Christians who you can trust. And there was this guy at church, John Jennings. And he had been friendly and kind to me on a number of occasions. For example, I had shown up at church on a couple of occasions too late for “youth lunch” when I was a teenager. And he offered to have me around to he and his wife’s house for lunch instead. Which I thought was very kind. He was also a greeter at church. As an adult, I got to know him a little bit. He had Amanda and I over to his place for dinner once (and he came to my place once also). And it was this idea I had, that you’re supposed to have good people able to speak into your life. To offer you advice and guidance. So we put ourselves out there. Anyways, he was the guy in our church who ran an ersatz Christian book shop. At dinner, Amanda and I told him the story of how we got married, and also how my health had fallen apart. That I had been diagnosed with “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome” by my doctor. And that I was now a university drop out, chronically ill and unable to work. He also showed me his shelf of Christian books for sale. He happened to have a copy of “Where is God When it Hurts” by Philip Yancey. Which I purchased. He also lent me a copy of “Exploring Church History: 20 Years of Christ’s People”. Which I later returned to him. In hindsight, nothing about anything he said or did was real. All fake. It’s sad.

****

The Alexander Technique

Stuff from Google/Wikipedia

The Alexander Technique is an educational, mind-body approach that improves posture, movement, and coordination by helping individuals recognize and release chronic tension and harmful habits. Developed by F.M. Alexander in the 1890s, it focuses on freeing the relationship between the head, neck, and back to reduce pain and enhance ease of movement in daily activities.

***

The Alexander technique is most commonly taught in a series of private lessons which may last from 30 minutes to an hour. The number of lessons varies widely, depending on the student's needs and level of interest. Students are often performers, such as actors, dancers, musicians, athletes and public speakers, people who work on computers, or those who are in frequent pain for other reasons. Instructors observe their students, and provide both verbal and gentle manual guidance to help students learn how to move with better poise and less strain. Sessions include chair work – often in front of a mirror – during which the instructor will guide the student while the student stands, sits and walks, learning to move efficiently while maintaining a comfortable relationship between the head, neck, and spine, and table work or physical manipulation.

In the United Kingdom, there is no regulation for who can offer Alexander technique services. Professional organisations do exist, however, typically offering three-year courses to people becoming instructors.

***

David's Section:

It can help to relieve tension and alleviate symptoms.

It's kind of like a type of bodywork. Or some parts of it are like that. It's hard to explain. Just watch a video on YouTube if you're interested. It's not actually that useful. You're probably better off just walking, cycling and doing a short stint of tai chi (a whole bunch of tai chi). Although you shouldn't keep doing tai chi long term, it weakens you and ruins your posture. Even though it relieves tension.

The Alexander technique is a form of bodywork as well as education, and it helps to relieve tension. I think that charlatans also use it to mess with people.

***

When I went to these lessons, I had already had my body messed with a lot by remote control. And my neck, back, chest, shoulders and inner hips had all been tightened up chronically. The whole thing was tightened up long term. And when I went to these lessons, and the moment they placed their hands on me, the remote control tightening ceased, and they released the hold that the computer had had on me. And so I enjoyed the tension releasing and tension dissolving benefits of the technique itself, as well as the feeling of having the cell tower remote control tightening released at the same time.

It was like magic. My whole body felt totally different. At the time, I believed it to be extremely beneficial. But it was at least 60% that they just ceased tightening up my body by means of remote control and the use of muscles!!

But just one lesson, and I felt like a whole new person. I felt human again, I could breathe again.

****

Another note:

We (Amanda and I) spent weekends in Kapiti, often with Amanda’s family.

I rapidly became part of Amanda’s family.

I went to Christmas with them.

****

Kapiti Coast, or Paraparaumu, and the lay of the land in general, a map.

****

I saw a physio in my second year at university.

I had moved house. And Shane had hurled a set of drawers to me while moving house, I caught it awkwardly, and my shoulder clicked weirdly. It hurt for a while. And then when it didn’t feel right I went to the physio for some treatment, because it still hurt a bit. It was janky. He gave me some exercises etc. they didn’t help.

In fact, they made me feel blah. This is because my torso was locked down. My neck was tight, inner hip, and back and so on. And so the exercises made me feel bad.

The shoulder pain (right shoulder) went away when I had an Alexander technique lesson. The first lesson.

****

In parts five and six, I intend to write about the times I went to the elders for prayer and advice, especially regarding my worsening health problems. Including going to the Elder Geoff who has had two sons with CFS.

In part seven (or later, which might cover from 2011 all the way until 2014), I might write about the time I reached out to Stan Rolston. I needed advice and guidance. I was very unwell, an invalid, and getting worse.

***

Yes, the development of solid chocolate by J.S. Fry & Sons in the mid-19th century was heavily motivated by the desire to create a wholesome, non-alcoholic alternative to alcohol.

As devout Quakers and leaders in the temperance movement, the Fry family sought to offer an affordable, nutritious, and enjoyable product that could curb the consumption of alcohol, which was causing widespread societal issues at the time.

Key Aspects of Fry's

Contribution:The Temperance Movement: The Fry family (along with competitors like Cadbury and Rowntree) believed that providing a nourishing substitute could improve the lives of the working class, seeing their business as a way to serve a higher purpose.

The Invention (1847): In 1847, Joseph Storrs Fry, a grandson of the founder, created the first mass-produced solid chocolate bar by mixing cocoa powder, sugar, and melted cocoa butter, producing a paste that could be molded.

Marketed as a Substitute: The product was not only a technical innovation but a moral one; chocolate was promoted as a healthy, warming, and stimulating treat that could replace a visit to the pub.While solid chocolate existed in rudimentary forms earlier, Fry's invention in 1847—marketed as "Chocolat Delicieux a Manger" (Delicious Chocolate to Eat)—is recognized as the first commercially successful molded chocolate bar.

****

7 July 2026, Tuesday.

It’s exciting!!

This might be one of the biggest computer systems hacking jobs ever.

It’s exciting!! But so uncertain!

It could help so many people too!!

Sunday 2nd August

Respect?

How about love? As demonstrated in believing and behaving as though other people's wellbeing is just as important as your own. And that they are just as important as you.

What about love your neighbour as yourself?

What about do unto others as you would have them do unto you? What about behave well towards others, in such a manner that if other people chose the same attitude and approach that they would treat others well too. I can't recall a better way to word it.

And what about actively creating a world that is better for the common people. To steal from Zoroastrian religion: for the cattle of society (Zarathustra waxed lyrical about the loveliness of cows). Or from Christianity, the meek, broken hearted, the poor in spirit, those who are gentle and kind though mistreated, those who want to whatever is right, even if they suffer for it. Those who show care and pity for others, whose who want to be good and long for a world where other people are good. Those who are pure in heart and peacemakers. And those who are persecuted for doing good.

And what about creating a work where the righteous and those who do justice flourish and thrive. Justice? What's that? Those who look at the world and set things right by creating law codes and appointing judges and establishing courts and hiring police and then punish people deserving of it. Who deter crime and punish it. People who do that fight for justice. And they support the creation of a world where higher standards of behaviour are created and maintained.

But if it's none of those, and just respect, and the pseudoscientific management of society, the mass planned and managed society... then you have to rely on respect. Which is sad.

And then people worry about respect, instead of love (for example, defined as acting with genuine concern and care for the wellbeing of other people, as though they’re are just as important as you).

Yayyyyy, respect. It’s lame.

Wednesday, 5th August, 2026

This might be one of the most significant “computer systems hack” in all of human history. We won’t know until it plays out. Fingers crossed that it does a lot of good! That it helps and rescues and shelters a lot of the good and innocent people* of the world from the wicked and the worthless.

We couldn’t use nuclear weapons, or tanks and guns and warships. So we had to use sociology and computer systems hacking.

For who? People like this. The next tranche of them. The set who were going to be executed or slaughtered in 2031 for being “recalcitrant” https://www.gettyimages.co.nz/photos/s21-tuol-sleng-prison. People like the farmers Stalin sent to the gulag for being “recalcitrant” when they were ordered to engage in collective agriculture. And who then died.

17th August

Preferred Definition of Love

C.S. Lewis defined genuine love not as a fleeting emotion, but as an active, steadfast commitment: "Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained."

Core Ideas on Love and Concern

An Act of Will: Lewis maintained that genuine love is a state of the will rather than a matter of warm feelings. You can choose to seek someone's well-being even when you do not naturally like them.

Seeking Ultimate Good: True concern means looking past short-term comfort or mere agreeableness. It aims for the highest moral and spiritual welfare of the other person.

Sterner Than Kindness: Lewis noted in The Problem of Pain that love is "something more stern and splendid than mere kindness," because kindness alone can sometimes tolerate destructive paths just to keep things pleasant.

I know that CS Lewis is shady. But I like his definitions.

I use stuff like this to help me to figure out what I think. And also stuff from Pratchett a lot.

But if I focus on defining and explaining things. Or on what I think in general. Then it'll ruin it. And constant observation and attention on it will ruin it.

And so I ask myself, what does "Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained." mean when it is applied to thing "love your neighbour as yourself"

And I figure things out from there. But the less said the better. Because the less fuss and observation the better.

I’m just vaguely floating ideas.

Love is not an affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.

And so that’s just some thoughts.

To feel a fair bit of care and concern for the wellbeing of other people is to feel a sense of loathing and disgust for the CCP. Because they killed 40 million Han Chinese in the great leap forward for no reason. And so if you value the lives of decent normal people, you can’t “love” the CCP. Compassion and integrity preclude it. Can you love tuberculosis if it’s killing someone or something you love?

But anyway: genuine care and concern for the wellbeing of other people. Love your neighbour as yourself. Filtered through Terry Pratchett a bit (sorry, naff I know). And primarily lead from my mind. It’s a choice, made inside my head. Not from my heart. Not ooey goey. Something to think about.

And I don’t want to talk about it, because it’s awkward.

****

New topic:

Reverse social engineering was designed to be an altruistic project. And for the good of the people of planet earth.

It was compassion oriented.

I designed it thinking of it being good for normal people (but also super bright and inventive people, because we’re sunk without them, imo). My term for the normal people of the world was the 80%ers.