Drop box of garbage v2

Honestly, this page is a mess. Run away. Run far, far away!!?!?!


This is the new garbage dump.

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I’m trying to shift the conversation over to the next version of my drop box. This one is blah. And lagging.

Here is the main discussion page:


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A Mild Understatement


The nobility of China treated their women in really weird ways. And so did their academics and scholars. China is kinda gross. When they talk about the mistreatment of women, or of protecting women from harm, perhaps they are engaging in "projection". If you want to know more, then there are books you can read.

Definition: In psychology, psychoanalysis, and psychotherapy, projection is the mental process in which an individual attributes their own internal thoughts, beliefs, emotions, experiences, and personality traits to another person or group.

The American Psychological Association Dictionary of Psychology defines projection as follows:

"The process by which one attributes one’s own individual positive or negative characteristics, affects, and impulses to another person or group... often a defense mechanism in which unpleasant or unacceptable impulses, stressors, ideas, affects, or responsibilities are attributed to others. For example, the defense mechanism of projection enables a person conflicted over expressing anger to change “I hate them” to “They hate me.” Such defensive patterns are often used to justify prejudice or evade responsibility."

Criticism of the concept of projection:

“Research on social projection supports the existence of a false-consensus effect whereby humans have a broad tendency to believe that others are similar to themselves, and thus "project" their personal traits onto others. This applies to both good and bad traits; it is not a defense mechanism for denying the existence of the trait within the self.”

For more information on these concepts:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_consensus_effect

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If you are looking for the post, “Steel and the Great Leap Forward”, it is just below this next one.

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// cross posted from the archives

Chinese Nobility and the Quest for Immortality 

Also known as, the tragedy of Chinese civilisation

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Edit: I am lost for words. Lost for words.

What a tragic nation. A tragic people and a tragic nation. Deserving of so much pity.

They sought salvation through the consumption of elixirs made from lead and mercury and deadly mushrooms, and killed themselves again and again.

They did it to achieve metaphysical goals, and also to engage in spiritual/religious experiences, I.e. visions and hallucinations. And for drug related euphoria. But they did it to make their corpse in-corruptible. That is, to achieve salvation beyond death. Like the pharaoh of Egypt, they wanted to preserve their bones forever. But they started mummifying themselves before death.

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This is well worth reading. I read every word. I just don’t understand how anything this awful exists. If you have a Christian background, you might really benefit from this. They did awful things to themselves. For “salvation”.

People like this are worthy of pity. But I’ll explain more later. It’s worse than you can imagine!!!


See the section: hypothetical explanations, and read all the way to the end of it. And then start from the start of the pages even if you think you know it. It is mind bendingly insane. It blows my mind.

A lot of people know it, but every day new people are born. And there are 17 year olds who have no idea!

“Despite common knowledge that immortality potions could be deadly, fangshi and Daoist alchemists continued the elixir-making practice for two millennia.”

"It is almost ludicrous to assume that a Taoist (commoner or emperor) could have died from accidental elixir poisoning"

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People like this are worthy of pity. They did awful things out of fear, dogma, and because of superstition.

But you must also understand that a society this damaged will produce people with deep and all pervasive inferiority complexes, who then sublimate that into feelings of resentment towards the outside world. They are hurt so badly emotionally by the idea that maybe their culture is so screwed up that they want to show themselves as “good enough”, or worse “I am as good as you” (the attitude from Screwtape gives a toast, cs Lewis). And they may do horrible things, just to feel like they’re good enough.

They may take their own feelings of perceived inferiority, and turn them outwards to prevent their feeling bad about themselves. It happens. It’s awful.

The Wikipedia post is important. Even if you think you know it already. I grew up religious though. I was a true believer in the birth, death and resurrection of Christ, and in supernatural creation. And of literal eternal life in heaven (and/or the establishment of the kingdom of heaven on earth after the end times; in the redemption of all man kind). So my perspective may be different to yours.

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Random post on Buddhist ideas:


Firstly, I have a positive impression of Buddhists. But I don’t like the religion itself. And I dislike the methods of psychological training, and their theories of mind.

I don’t like Zen Buddhism. And I have a strong dislike of things like mindfulness meditation. I also dislike things like the idea that one is supposed to “stop craving”. And I hate the way they want you to let the thoughts in your mind fall away. And act as though “your thoughts aren’t you”. They extinguish the self. It’s horrible. It’s a wicked, evil religion. It also makes you more callous and passive when it comes to the suffering of others. You are less likely to react with righteous anger against the suffering of the poor, dispossessed and oppressed peoples of the earth. And less likely to do something about it. See human sex trafficking in Thailand, one of the most Buddhist nations on earth. They are Buddhists who meditate often. Yet sell their daughters into sex slavery? Or used to. Even as Christian missionaries and activists tried to fight to stop them. Buddhists often hate women. It is an unironically woman-hating religion.

I have a positive impression of Buddhists though. And I don’t hate them. I think that they are misguided and unwise. I also think that they cause problems. But I don’t hate them. And a lot of them are pure land Buddhists, not zen Buddhists, so it’s okay I guess. I have done mind-fullness before. It’s okay, just a taste. I learned a lot from meditation. A huge amount. But I think it’s unhealthy, and gives people foolish and bad points of view if overdone.

It extinguishes the self. So that you don’t react with righteous anger against injustice, poverty, oppression, mistreatment of the powerless. It means that you can live alongside the miserable and oppressed without giving a hoot. One of the worst religions out there. Alongside old fashioned Hinduism.

Instead of feeling anger and compassion. You just say, whatever. I’ll stop caring, extinguish the self. Reach nirvana and non-self. And the. You don’t care, and there’s no you to care anyways. It’s awful. And the end state is Thailand. One big brothel where fathers sell there devalued daughters into slavery (sound familiar?), not really, just their capital. But not anymore. Thai people are cool though. Great national sport, and amazing food. Or China, where they lose 30 million of their own people in a self inflicted wounds loosely related to their ideology/beliefs. And then just say, yeah nah, whatever, it’s no biggie.

Buddhism wants you to stop thinking and stop being bothered by the suffering around you. And also to stop wanting nice things for yourself. It preserves the status quo, and keeps the peace (at best). It made sense before the Malthusian trap was solvable. But doesn’t make sense now.

Ps: I grew up hearing stories of missionaries and Christian activists pleading with father in Thailand to not sell their children into traffickers hands. They would tell the father (who was poor) that they could help him make sense meet. But when the missionaries returned, the daughter was gone, and the father had bought and installed a new satellite TV in his relatively modest house.

Thereveda Buddhism, Pure land, Zen. I think Thailand is mostly thereveda. Pure land is popular in Japan, has 22 million adherents, to Zen Buddhism’s 5 million. I learned about it on the great courses lecture series about Japan.

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Perhaps the theory of mind found within Buddhism just isn’t very good. And maybe the “science” associated with mindful meditation doesn’t really hold water. Pass muster or whatever. I don’t know. It just feels that way.

And maybe it encourages passivity in the face of suffering and injustice. And in some cases indifference to the plight of women and children. Just a gut feeling. Hinduism is similar too. You just accept the misery, both of not having what you want in life, and also in letting others suffer, and find a way to tolerate it, instead of fixing it. Also: India history = brothels.

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These people take the theory of mind of Buddhism and the philosophy and epistemology of Buddhism, and turn it into a science. And then they turn it into an engineering project. And combine it with tons of tech. And use it on people’s minds. And then retrospectively say that it is beneficial to adopt Buddhism and religions of the east. And that Buddhism is good. There’s something in Huxley about it, and other academics love Eastern mysticism. See the Edwin O. Reischauer Lectures, here’s one. Academics are really into Buddhism, and Buddhists thought psychology and thought technique. But I don’t think it’s good science, or good soul engineering and fwiw, the Chinese don’t have a history of excellence in the field of science. Nor are they known for their excellence in matters of the intellect.

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New segment


If society is bad, and you can’t have what you want in life, and you can’t improve the lot of other people’s lives. And you can’t live up to the hopes for what you might have become. And bad people keep hurting and opreasing others. And foolish people keep on making mistakes that blow society up, killing many other people.

Then take the part of your mind that is actually you, and kill it. Train yourself to let it fall away. Until you learn to have “no mind”. Let the self go entirely. And then none of these things will bother you.

Bad philosophy, bad epistemology, bad theory of mind, foolish value judgements. And bad psychology. Bad ecology of mind, and bad education.

It’s eastern superstition and dogma. And I don’t think all that highly of it. It creates bad results (see  history) and the East doesn’t have a good track record in matters of the intellect (especially China) of in good decision making (multiple places). Why should we adopt their theories of mind, philosophies and dogmas? At all?

And a lot of these technologies have ideas that use some psychology similar to eastern beliefs.

The end.

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Steel and the Great Leap Forward 


Did Mao Zedong want to surpass Great Britain on steel production as a matter of national and personal pride?

Yes, Mao Zedong wanted China to surpass Great Britain in steel production, a goal he set as part of the Great Leap Forward campaign in 1958. He considered steel a symbol of political progress and economic power and mobilized the population to produce it, often through disastrous methods like backyard furnaces, which led to a devastating famine. 

The Goal: Mao launched the Great Leap Forward with the ambitious aim of rapidly industrialising China to overtake Great Britain in steel production within a few years.

The Method: He insisted on mass mobilisation, with a focus on both large-scale, state-run plants and the creation of small, "backyard" furnaces. The goal was to use scrap metal from everyday objects to dramatically increase output.

The Failure: The campaign's focus on steel diverted labor from agriculture, and the focus on ideological fervor over practical expertise resulted in low-quality steel and a catastrophic famine that caused tens of millions of deaths.

The Legacy: While China eventually surpassed the UK in steel production decades later, the immediate goal was a disaster. The campaign was a major failure of Mao's leadership, and its catastrophic consequences were widely recognized. 


Education Action Points:


Listen to “The Industrial Revolution” a series by Patrick N. Allitt, of Oxford University, available on the Great Courses by Amazon (formerly the teaching company). You will learn about many things, including the manufacture of steel, and the history of improvements in agriculture. You will also learn about improvements in the area of mass produced ceramic tableware and mass produced textiles.

The great courses materials come highly recommended by Bill Gates. They produce content that is smart enough for a billionaire industrialist, but easy enough for the common man. He used to watch an hour of it every day while walking on his treadmill. By the way, that’s one example of how the mega wealthy educate themselves. But you should see their reading habits!

Read Mao: the unknown story by Jung Chang, an excellent biography of Mao that covers his whole life, including the Great Leap Forward, the Chinese famine, the Red Guards and the cultural revolution. 

A biography of Andrew Carnegie (steel magnate). Any biography will do. Perhaps his autobiography is the best option, or the David Nasaw biography might be okay (I forget which biography/history of his I read, but under his reign the price of steel plummeted in the USA and around the world).

Mao Zedong and the Great Leap Forward is a masterclass on how to get literally everything wrong in industrialisation, killing 30 million people in the process and setting the stage for mass chaos, misery and bloodshed of the cultural revolution (an ideological civil war, essentially).

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Temperament and disposition 


The men/males of the far east are quite temperamental, easily offended and overly concerned with status and image.

Mao wanted to surpass the west in the production of steel, and in particular he wanted to surpass Great Britain in the production of steel. He felt great resentment towards places like Great Britain.

It was about national pride, but it was also about personal status and image. He felt that people looked down on him, as an ignorant Chinese peasant (an “oriental”, a “Chinaman”). He had a bit of a chip on his shoulder. And so he wanted to show them that he was worth something. And also he got impatient about the long term planning in China (the five year plans pushed by the Soviet via the Chinese planners. Chinese planners worked with Soviet planners, as was natural for a communist nation). They weren’t delivering the goods fast enough. And he needed a win.

And so he pushed the Great Leap Forward. It was a disaster. He ought simply to have stuck with the 5 year economic planning model (ugh) popular with the USSR. 

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It was about national pride.
Status and image.

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A brief note on the dogmas and superstitions of “far eastern orientals”


They are in love with ritualistic suicide.

See seppukku.
See also zazen.

Note:

From what I can tell, the practise of meditation is a form of “mind killing”. It kills the part of the mind that judges one thing from another. Including judging oneself. If the oriental mind finds that the world around it is bad, and that he himself is not up to snuff, he might simply kill himself (see suicide rates among men in the far east). And if he cannot end his life physically, he will end it psycho-spiritually. Using the psychological techniques of far eastern meditation, aka zazen and related practises.

Buddhist meditation zazen is ritualistic suicide of the mind-self. It is the ritualistic suicide of the part of the self that exists in the mind and judges and observes.

Given what I have seen of their dogmas, superstitions and psychological practises, I am unsure of how much trust to place in the orientals of the far east. Or how much respect to have for their psychological methodology. I also have limited faith in the various theories (ant practises) of mind stemming from far eastern dogmas, superstitions and psychological techniques.

See also: Vietnamese attitudes in the war, kinda like Vietnam’s kamikaze/ritualistic suicide in the name of their chosen ideology, Marxist Leninism (which after what happened in the USSR, was fit only for a bunch of ignorant illiterate peasants. Or you’d have to be illiterate to even want to adopt it).

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For further education and information:





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Traditional Chinese Martial Arts


The Chinese are also notoriously bad at martial arts (see tai chi and kung fu). They literally trained flat footed!! In slip on shoes!! The Japanese and Thai martial arts were so much better. Persian/Iranian traditions of strength and fighting are also much better. Korean folk wrestling Ssireum is also so much better.

Given that they know NOTHING about martial arts, why should we assume that they know anything useful about the training and modification of the mind I.E. techniques of psychology?

Humour:

Tai Chi

Martial Arts

Martial Arts

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Chinese Marital Arts


For a unique insight into the psychology of the Chinese, it must be noted that Chinese mothers in law wanted their future daughters in law to have “pretty little bound feet”. This reduced mobility on the part of their future daughters in law, increasing the control of the family that now possesses the daughter. Foot binding was about control over women, as well as perceived value on the marriage market. It was pushed heavily by Han Chinese cultural conservatives, as against the edicts of their conquerers and overlords the Manchu horse lords (aka Jurchen).

The Muslims practise FGM, the Han Chinese Confucian Conservatives practised foot binding. And the ancient Egyptians practised FGM of the full “infibulation” kind, as well as male circumcision. They all wanted control over women (as well as lower class men).

Note: A great deal of Chinese elixirs were believed to improve libido and ameliorate “circulatory issues”, i.e. being about “sexual rejuvenation”.

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Post script


One:

I apologise for using the term "orientals of the far east", but I can't think of better terms. And we are so limited by which words are socially acceptable to use.

Two:

Hélio Gracie, and the Gracie family got a lot from the Japanese via Judo Kano. Which is to say, Japanese martial arts were (and are) very good in some cases. And see the early Pride tournaments if you don't believe me.

Three:

Massive quixotic digression: Hélio Gracie (inventor of BJJ) didn't have a great deal of love for the "pull up" as an exercise. And I don't love it either. People are dogmatic about "compound" movements and high levels of intensity, and they love the pull up as a movement, but I don't feel that pull ups are a biologically optimal movement for a lot of people.

He also didn't love women. "I never loved any woman because love is a weakness, and I don't have weaknesses." - a somewhat complex quote

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End new post

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What could women do?


Someone asked, what could women do… so I’m spitballing ideas? See this as a bit of light conversation.

Note, I said “could”. Free to choose. An act of volition.

What could self centred upper middle class white feminist women from a developed nation who speaks English as a first language with a university degree do?

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Some people say religion, but maybe education is smarter?

From an out loud conversation:

Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling byJohn Taylor Gatto

Amusing Ourselves to Death by Neil Postman

And then embarking on a programme of high quality life long learning. This includes becoming an avid reader, particularly of non fiction. But also of source works from the past. It includes both formal and informal education. It includes things like free lectures from openYale (do your own pedagogy, like taking notes), lectures from the great courses, and studying courses from edX. But mostly reading.

Life long learning, including reading as a habit and lectures to start, and then four special areas:

One


It might involve greatly improving your ability in, and capacity for abstract thought (statistics, calculus, algebra, trigonometry, Boolean logic, algorithms, computer based problem solving, using CAD, practising robotics for problem solving). [I’m not a fanatic about “learning to code”, but I do think that most people, including gives, should give it a go! For at least a few months at least, preferably when young. I myself gave it a go, just for fun, a number of times in my youth. Even though I decided that it wasn’t for me, as a career. Failing that, a compsci101 or info101 paper is a good idea.] maybe listen to a tech podcast for a year. 150 hours worth. Or a tech news podcast discussion show.


Two 


It might involve greatly improving your ability in languages, as an individual. Conversation, reading comprehension, vocabulary, grammar, hand writing (multiple kinds), excellent spoken language, good public speaking, writing: letters, creative, diary. As well as additional languages similar to your own (for English that might be French and German). And then perhaps look at ancient languages. And religious texts and the history of language. Maybe look deep into the history of language itself.

Three


And then look at what I call “that which has gone before”. That includes written history, as well as what I am calling “replication studies”. Replicate the arts, crafts and sciences and engineering and inventions of the past.

Firstly, read the bezoar reading list, but double it up. So 20ish books. Especially biographies of scientists and inventors of the past. Biographies are the best histories. And history is a good teacher when it comes science and invention. Look at the five lecture series after that.

Good books include anything by Petroski, JE Gordon and the new science of strong materials, or why you don’t fall through the floor. As well as his “structures”. Anything about Rutherford (New Zealander), Faraday, Telford, Brunel, Mendel, Haber and Bosch, Maxwell, see more below.

Also, take a Quick Look at comparative religion and comparative anthropology.

Four


Additional special area of interest, perhaps the most important one for women.

Study accounting and the field of general business administration. Formally. At a university or polytech. Several papers. And then follow it up with economics, statistics, math for business and management theory. Once you have done that, get into the habit of reading “popular books” in the field of business, such as biographies, popular histories, and discussion, and how to! Read about, or learn directly from people like Jack Welch, Warren Buffet, Peter Drucker, Benjamin Graham, Walton. Read about LTCM, the Lowenstein history (“when genius failed” and got bailed out ahahahahhaha, and merchants of debt: about LBOs. Read Keynes and Friedman directly. Learn the history of agricultural economics, and more importantly famine economics. Learn fun history like the dot com bubble, tulip bubble, microprocessor revolution, learn about Gates, Bezos, Page + Brin, Jobs (ugh), Carnegie(!), Rockerfeller, Edison, Ford. and learn about the history of trade. Including ancient Mediterranean trade routes. Phoenicia. So much of history is about things like shipping, trade, merchants etc.

And you may develop genuine understanding. It takes time. Don’t do engineering though. Engineers are terrible people. Sort of. They’re just weird, okay? Don’t trust them too much.

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More people and topics you might read about, in areas three and four. Unedited.

Andrew Carnegie
John Rockefeller
Bill Gates
Warren Buffet
Larry Page and Sergei Brin
Thomas Edison
Henry Ford
Josiah Wedgwood
Michael Faraday
Isambard Kingdom Brunel
Ernest Rutherford
Gregor Mendel
James Watt
Humphrey Davy
Charles Goodyear
Thomas Telford
Sir Isaac Newton
Louis Pasteur
Haber and Bosch
Watson and Crick
Karl Benz and Gottlieb Daimler
Alexander Graham Bell
Tim Berners-Lee
Johannes Gutenberg

Books:
Ancient Greek Engineering by John Grey Landels
The Clock of the Long Now - multiple authors
The Invention of the Automobile - (Karl Benz and Gottlieb Daimler) - St. John
The Language of Mathematics - Keith Devlin

Topics:
History of Wedgwood pottery!!
A history of the automobile industry
A history of Edmund Cartwright and the invention of the powerloom
A history of James Watt
The history of Thomas Savery's steam pump in 1698 and Thomas Newcomen's more successful atmospheric engine in 1712. And James Watt's significantly improved version of the engine.
That is, the history of steam power in general.
The history of rail. The history of steam shipping, and later shipping.
History of Sheffield Knives, and steel working industry.
The history of the cutlery industry in general. Especially: pewter implements, silver ware, wooden table ware.
And the introduction of 18:10 stainless steel, and how it relates to tableware. Study the whole table ware industry!!!! For 500 years!!?!?
Study the history of footwear, clothing and textiles.
Leather working and tanning.
Improvements in the fields of footwear in Italy.
Learn about the physical and material basis for society. And also trade/shipping/accounting and business administration.
Read a book (or views lectures) all about metallurgy!!!!! Including Benjamin Huntsman's crucible steel process, bessemer process and other aspects of the steel making process. Just a book in metallurgy.
History of public health, hygiene, sanitation and ware management

Random books that are “just a bit of whatever” are perfect. I used to just grab literally anything off of library shelves. It’s the best way to do it.

Education. It’s good stuff. If you do not wish to be subject to men… and you wish to free your mind, you may find that fate requires you to be educated.

And never let schooling get in the way of your actual learning/education! This is just discussion!

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Appendix:



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Winning


I don't think that your goals and the/your achievement of them constitute a victory, a win. So I am not sure how to proceed with this conversation?

Vibe: C.S. Lewis Space Trilogy, and also the cinnabar eating death cult (in an attempt to become an undying one), or the no-mind no-self soul destruction death cult (aka Buddhism) where you die inside your head long before your body dies (the self falls away). Or a woman destroying their appearance through plastic surgery and too much dieting, or a man ruining his body through excessive pursuit of athletic, aesthetic or fitness goals. Or a Japanese man committing seppuku, for no rational reason. To have a good death? By the way, why are East Asians in love with suicide and death?

What does it mean to win?

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More on Buddhism


Life is bad, you can’t change anything, so practise radical acceptance and then literally change nothing for the better. Bleh.

Just stop caring! That is the answer! Even if you have to use mental methods to lobotomise your sense of self. Here, practise zazen for four hours a day in a temple until the “self” falls away, and you understand the true nature of things.

You destroy the sense of self. Because you want to have “no mind”.

Zzzzzz. It is a bad religion. It is a form of death, experienced long before your body dies. It’s disgusting.

Too much meditation stultifies the mind.

Note: there are some legitimate uses of meditation, I think. And some stuff can be learned from it. Especially for sport performance. But not much, for most people.

Ps: By the way, those parts of the mind that Buddhist tell you “aren’t you”, those are actually you. Those stray thoughts, and that “observer”. But either way, it is a bad form of mental practice.

Maybe it is just Far Eastern dogma and superstition. I am of the opinion that there is more of value in the shamanistic traditions of the steppe, or in Islam, or in the traditions of the Polynesian cannibals or in the folk beliefs of the Melanesians. Sort of. Kind of joking.

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Bland in appearance


I always thought that Sarah, a girl from my 5th, 6th and 7th form accounting class, was “bland in appearance” without being painfully hideous. I have mulled this over many times in my mind since high school. Don’t ask why. And she has heard me mull it over hundreds of times. She heard it because she reads minds. She didn’t have to read minds, but she chose to.

She was my fae/oligarch lawyer. And a real life lawyer too.

I hardly knew her in real life.

I wouldn’t be awful to her in person. I’m pretty decent to people. 

She was a “smart girl”, quiet, studious and unobtrusive. She seemed at the time to be the type that might have made a sensible high school girlfriend. The dating pool for a guy like me (excellent mind) is really small in high school. In hindsight, no, not the right types

She’s had it in for me for twenty years.

Note: there is the other “Sarah” whose real name I forget. I might call her “hot Sarah”. She’s a different person.


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Health


They made me sick at 18, an invalid by 20, very unwell by 22, still an invalid from 22-26. A cripple at 26. And they kept me extremely badly crippled for 6 years.

I saw many doctors and many physiotherapists. Virtually all of them were in on it.

I’ve had horrible health, and horrible things done over the years. It’s been 18 years of awful.

Things aren’t always as they seem. The things they’ve done to me are about a 11/10. The important of access to money is about 4/10, and sex is 3/10.

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Random Stuff I tried


The definition of insanity is trying the same thing again and again, expecting different results. I tried tons of stuff to recover my health.

I might get in trouble for this post, it’s really organised.

Here are a few things I tried, when attempting to regain my health. One of the dumb things I tried in life was to recover my health (at age 22ish) though going to cranial sacral therapy again and again, even though it didn’t work. And made me worse. Another dumb thing was I went to physio at TBI (the back institute) and did their exercises and stretches again and again, even though they didn’t work. And actively made me worse. And the next thing I tried was the gokhale method again and again (including “stretch lying”) even though it didn’t work, and made me worse. Fwiw, I went to multiple physiotherapists before bothering to see the cranial person. I also got prescribed orthotics and special shoes by a physiotherapist working at our church (the son of the former head elder, main pastor. Nathan Scott, son of Bruce Scott).

Why didn’t they work? Partly because, unbeknownst to me, my torso was locked down from the inside, by the core muscles, by electric remote control.

Ummm. The reason I tried them was that by body was being messed with from the inside. And also because I had many many symptoms inflicted on me by remote control by crazy people who stood to make tons of money. And things why nothing helped? I couldn’t even benefit from “bird dogs” or basic thoracic spine mobility drills. They just hurt me really badly.

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I also tried some mind body stuff: Alexander technique, yoga, asana, tai chi, MBSR meditation, headspace, mindfulness, vipassana, pranayama, feldenkrais. Tibetan five rites.  Various supplements. I went to massage (hurt my spine). I tried weirdo alternative stuff too, like alternative body work and breathing methods. Spirulina. Diets (several).

I tried everything.

Nothing worked because… all of my health problems were caused by magical remote controls!!!! And virtually all of the medical people (most of whom were mainstream) knew it!

Note: this segment is really rough and untidy.

By the way, I couldn’t even sit at the dining room table to play a couple of normal games of Catan with my friends at age 21/22. It was horrible! My life was awful. I couldn’t even sit normally. And my eyes were going funny. And I couldn’t sit through a church service normally either. I just couldn’t sit. My lips would go a little blue while sitting in church sometimes. I was freezing cold all of the time.

My doctors and physiotherapists were liars.

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What if we had a society full of people who valued life long learning? Where people engaged in the habits and practises of life-long learning. And as part of that, loved and cherished books. And enjoyed reading, particularly reading non-fiction (such as popular science, biographies of scientists, as well as histories of scientists, engineers, inventors, founders, entrepreneurs and industrialists).

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Heavy Metal


By the way, Mercury, Arsenic and Lead can all build up long term inside your body. Even being stored in your fat, muscles and bones.

Heavy metal poisoning is awful.

Please read this asap. It is a massive slog, but you need the whole thing. Start to finish. (Not you, but the other guy.). Set aside 20 minutes to read it in the next few days.




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Peer Pressure


If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it?

If all of your friends were taking pills and potions full of lead, arsenic, mercury, and dangerous mushrooms in an attempt to achieve salvation? While drinking themselves to death, would you do it too?

If all of your friends were joining a suicidally stupid death cult (Marxist Leninism) that was proven to have negative effects (see Russia; as well as Hungary 1919, Ukraine and Kazakhstan 30s, and was totally contraindicated for your society (not industrialised), would you join? And make exactly the same mistakes? And would you then blame the other guys in the top layer of the death cult?

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New Tech Cult: if all of the mean girls clique, and the sex pest brigade, and the techno-dweeb coalition, and the utopians, and what’s left of the Fabians, and a smattering of CIA operatives told you to join a movement by which we could achieve salvation for the human race. The totally planned and managed society, guided by the wise and educated, but controlled democratically? Would you join? Even if it was…. Lé retarded?

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You should not place a septic tank too close to a well because it can contaminate your drinking water with bacteria and other pathogens. Regulations require a minimum separation of at least 50 feet from a septic tank and 100 feet from a septic drain field, but local codes may differ and require greater distances.

***

David’s note: it does depend on soil, and the height of the water table.

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Peer Pressure


If all of your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it?

If all of your friends were taking pills and potions full of lead, arsenic, mercury, and dangerous mushrooms in an attempt to achieve salvation? While drinking themselves to death, would you do it too?

If all of your friends were joining a suicidally stupid death cult (Marxist Leninism) that was proven to have negative effects (see Russia; as well as Hungary 1919, Ukraine and Kazakhstan 30s, and was totally contraindicated for your society (not industrialised), would you join? And make exactly the same mistakes? And would you then blame the other guys in the top layer of the death cult?

*

New Tech Cult: if all of the mean girls clique, and the sex pest brigade, and the techno-dweeb coalition, and the utopians, and what’s left of the Fabians, and a smattering of CIA operatives told you to join a movement by which we could achieve salvation for the human race. The totally planned and managed society, guided by the wise and educated, but controlled democratically? Would you join? Even if it was…. Lé retarded?

Ps: the electronic stuff causes you harm to your brain. But also it stultifies your mind, limits your perspective, makes you dumb, causes you to be scientifically dishonest with yourself. It retards your ability to think with clarity (correct term used there, not an insult). Collectively, it gives us issues with thinking clearly and well. The brain might still work, on paper. But the mind isn’t working properly. It also encourages group think, without good error correction mechanisms.

It’s public health, stupid.

/low effort post

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Fooled by randomness


When you think of fitness, don’t only pay attention to those who got uber ripped and impress all the girls guys, instead think of all of the guys who got injured doing something unwise and then had to let themselves go. Or destroyed themselves in high school, college, university or semi pro sports. And then are fat and sick forever.

*

Idk

They tore a hammie deadlifting, blew out an acl playing surprise office tennis at age 43, damaged their shoulder capsule and tore a rotator cuff doing killing pushups at CrossFit, had a knee replacement after doing marathons, damaged their heart doing an iron man, broke their foot doing trail running, took a knee to the ribs playing association football, punctured a lung and nearly drowned to death in their own blood, had a knee surgery at 18 for a cyst, damaged their pelvic floor muscles cycling. [Or they blew out their nervous system by straining with weights, burnt out, and they’re exhausted and moody all day. Every one calls it overtraining, but really it’s burn out from bad methods. And then maybe you’re dependent on stimulants to get going, depressants to sleep, focus drugs to work, and anti anxiety medication or sedatives or depressants (alcohol) to function at all. Or anti depressants or anti psychotics or who knows what.]

I’m kind of informed by the book “fooled by randomness” by Nassim Taleb in a lot of my thinking.


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Bruce Lee, Good-mornings, Pain killers


He died after taking a painkiller. He had chronic pain in his back after problems in the weight room; he hurt his back doing good mornings. There might be a connection. Weight lifting can be dangerous. And good mornings are a mistake (there are exceptions to the rule).

I think he was poisoned. But you need to have a vector? And if you’re taking drugs for pain relief, that gives them an “in”. As well as plausible deniability.

Unmmm. He injured his back and had back pain. This was caused by American fitness culture. This caused him to have long term back pain and related issues, including but not limited to headaches. He was in the habit of using pain killers and illicit drugs. Including old fashioned pain killers, plenty of which weren’t very well designed or very healthy. He also wanted to maintain excessive leanness, which can be very unhealthy (and may involve dehydration). This is a common part of American fitness practises.

Added to that, I think there was foul play with his medicine AND hospital treatment.

Bruce Lee is one of the reasons I am sceptical about weight training, and American style fitness practises. And also I think there was foul play.

Too sleepy, ttyl

Ps: using deliberately bad internet speak (like lol, or ttyl, or ahahahahah!!!1 zomgbbq is a deliberate stylistic(?) choice)

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This is actually ridiculous


They made me sick at 18, an invalid by 20, very unwell by 22, still an invalid from 22-26. A cripple at 26. And they kept me extremely badly crippled for 6 years.

I saw many doctors and many physiotherapists. Virtually all of them were in on it. They actively made me worse, and seldom helped me at all. Genuinely, my medical professionals harmed me, on purpose.

I’ve had horrible health, and horrible things done over the years. It’s been 18 years of awful.

Things aren’t always as they seem. The things they’ve done to me are about a 11/10. The importance of access to money is about 4/10, and sex is 3/10. I really want my health back.

They’re my old school friends and classmates.

The way things may appear are not always the way they are.

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Oxford


Oxford inhabits a similar function space to the central cadre training school in China. And also some of the same function space as the central publicity department of the CCP (which ought to be called the department of information, education and management base). Not really, but sort of.

Huxley, Lewis, Dahl, Swift.

Read the Dark Tower.. ? By C.S. Lewis... he was designated Christian (apologist), and he liked to drop fun hints. His friend JRR Tolkein dropped fewer hints, but still dropped some. Both were into philology.

Lewis talked about space, so did Dahl. Space is just physics… 

Lewis and Huxley died on exactly the same day, 22 November 1963. Same day as JFK died.

This is all vague and indirect.

*

Oxford, Cambridge, Harvard and Princeton.

**

I like these two works. 

Brave New World Revisited, Aldous Huxley, 1958

One released by C.S. Lewis posthumously.

One by Huxley quietly before his death, not very good. But perhaps instructive. A little on the nose, but also a bit obscured.

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Unrelated:

How universities actually work, a history

Fun reading, if ever I get around to it:

Empires of Ideas: Creating the Modern University from Germany to America to China (2022), William C. Kirby of Harvard Business School.

I have never read this. But I think that it might be really useful.

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There’s no place like home


Where? Somewhere like Gary, Indiana. It's blighted, and so there might be perfectly good buildings going for a song. An eccentric millionaire, and his parents, spouse and children, all want a private existence. So he buys a big building, and fills it with boxes of steel pipe. Normal plywood boxes or "honeycomb steel".

They’re now untouchable by satellites at home.

And lives there. In an apartment. They live a normal life. They're not activists. End of conversation.

The custom and habit spreads among some elements of the wealthy.

***


See the video 14 minutes in for a good example of the size and type of building you might get, like the bank building. For bonus points, it’s a steel mill town.

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Kazakhstan’s Genocide



This is what "collectivists" do. They take over. And then a decade later, everyone dies. They starve people to death on purpose.

Please read it.

You will learn so much.

Please read the whole thing, every word.













































PS: the CCP came to power in 1949, and ten years later the biggest famine in all of human history started.

Note 1: see also the Ukrainian Genocide (aka holodomor)
Note 2: see also the Chinese Great Famine (aka deaths caused by the “great leap forward”)


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Huh?

This might be the weirdest thing I ever heard?


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What sort of women am I into?


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This post might get me in trouble.

A girlfriend


If you’re looking for a girlfriend, or something, what do you like the look of?

Short answer: I like normal woman who have a nice smile and aren’t taller than me. Strong preference for someone with a BMI under 30.

I like them at age 23, but anything up to the age of 35 is okay. Younger can be pretty (down to about 20), but my preferences for women are 23 and up. Brief digression: I think it is morally okay to have a girlfriend as young as 18. Just so long as it is voluntary, and the power dynamic is appropriate (this goes beyond consent/voluntary). But I’d prefer one 23 or older.

Splitting hairs: I like the way they look best at age 23, but I’m perfectly fine with the way women look right up until about 36 (I am 36).

Yes younger is “better”, but in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t matter that much. And I’d be perfectly happy with someone who was about 28-33.

That is my short answer.

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Longer answer:

I’m not fussy.

I like normal woman who have a nice smile and aren’t taller than me. Strong preference for someone with a BMI under 30.

A little bit younger than 30 would be nice, but early thirties is fine. Blonde, brunette, black hair, all good. Slight preference for brunette over blonde. Black hair can either be amazing or drab, it depends. Weight should be normal, or thereabouts. Lean mass: I have a strong preference for women who don’t have what I am labelling “lean mass deficiency syndrome”. Please note, that is a made up term for women who have insufficient lean mass. Beyond that, the level of body fat I want should be “normal”, aka moderately slim. We evolved from creatures like the purgatorius and teilhardina (cute little monkeys, not chonky bonobos or chimpanzees).

I would strongly prefer someone who isn’t psychologically horrible. I.e. someone who hasn’t bought into what I call the “new psychology”. Or other forms of “weird” secular psychology.

I don’t like petty meanness. And your silly rules don’t make it right.

I also don’t like women who believe in the extinguishing of the “inner voice”, or killing the ego, or quieting the ego, or letting the conscious mind fall away. Or the inner voice fall away. Or that the chattering mind isn’t the real mind. Or women who believe in the practises of Zen Buddhism, such as mindfulness meditation. It’s bad for your mind, in the same way that foot binding is bad for your feet. It mutilates a part of you for ease of control. Buddhism is a bad religion. I far prefer Christianity, Mormonism, Islam and Judaism. Some people think that Buddhism is “good science”, but I don’t see it. I think it’s horrible. It ruins your mind/soul. It’s bad and “low quality” psychology. According to what? My personal judgement. It extinguishes the overall sense of self to teach you to accept that life is horrible, but you can put up with it. I don't like petty meanness or eastern "self extinction".

Umm. Just be nice, and a good person. And it’s fine. You already know what I mean, even if you pretend not to. Just don’t be a jerk. Or a massive cow.

Just be normal? And the normal version of “nice”. And the normal version of “good”. And the normal version of “decent”, without worrying about being perfect!

Also, evil is not a turn on. Define evil: someone who has a giant poo where the heart and/or soul is supposed to be. 

See also C.S. Lewis: Shoddy Lands, Ministering Angels, Screwtape Letters (including both the toast and the update) and his unfinished short story "the dark tower" if you want to understand the social engineering that I find unappealing. He told us what the system would turn people/women into. Sort of.

**

Other issues:

I hate make up! I hate stilettos!
Soft hands are a plus, so are soft lips.
I’m not fussy on eyes or eye colour.
I am not fussy on race or skin colour. Good skin is a plus, but that’s a weird conversation.

I like a lot of women. A lot of women. Of all sorts. They have to pass the “vibe check”, but I like a lot of them. I’ve been mischaracterised as fussy.

Race/ethnicity:

I like a lot of them. I might leave it at that.

No wait, umm.

All of the following are fine, but I’m not fussy.

Kiwi
English, German, French
Norway, Sweden, Finland
Denmark, Belgium, Netherlands
Switzerland, Czech, Hungarian
Spain, Portugal, Balkans
Estonia, Lithuania, Latvia
Thailand, Phillipines, Korea, Japan
Chinese: PRC, ROC, Singapore
India, Latina (complex), Black (complex, we do t have many here! But they look fine to me!).
Middle East, Central Asia, Persian origin
Probably a few others, but depends.

Bottom line: I like normal women? Reasonably attractive. Decent people at heart, without being perfect. Doesn't but into the new "psychology" damaged A nice smile is a plus.


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Or I could just have my 6 evil girlfriends? They'll do.

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A woman who is mine for life would be loved and adored and cherished... but they’re not looking to set me up with someone forever, just women for a while??

but these women are being treated as sex workers by the system? And it feels oppressive to me. But why should I have to make a fuss over which oppressed sex worker I should favour? Can I not just have one that is pretty and has a good and kind heart? And then stop making a fuss?

*

Also, no anal please? And stop nagging me?

I don’t want to be violent to them. That is your culture. And something that you guys have pushed fairly heavily. I’d far rather be kind to them. In a normal world, one is enough.  But we don’t live in a normal world.

*

Ummm. What sort would I like? I think I’m obliged to have Siobhan and Brynn. Partly because it makes peace? But a random would be just as good, in an ideal world.

In an ideal world, I would just find a spouse or long term girlfriend. We would be faithful to one another. And probably be fairly happy together. We’d just have a normal relationship. She might be either white with brown hair and blue eyes. Or southeast Asian. Either works for me. Someone fairly ordinary, but pretty? If possible?

I don’t see why it should be so difficult?

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See the section: hypothetical explanations, and read all the way to the end of it

"It is almost ludicrous to assume that a Taoist (commoner or emperor) could have died from accidental elixir poisoning"

**

No fewer than 6 tang emperors died after downing elixirs meant to grant them eternal life.

Even their first emperor Qin Shi Huang is thought to have contributed greatly to his early death by consuming mercury based elixirs.


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Reading for today:



Juxtaposed:





Seminary is central cadre school, the outlying schools are ace schools. Sort of. Tennessee Christians.

They know that their world view is bollocks (CCP) but they revel in their ignorance, because it stresses people out. They get IN YOUR FACE with their ignorance.

**

They didn’t “believe” in…
Basic business administration practice and theory (such as accounting, management. This includes accounting theory and management theory, how to make good investment decisions, roi, irr, npv, time value of money, whatever)
Economics
Sociology
Biology
Metallurgy
Ecology
Proper psychology (Chinese party is actually bad on psychology back then, and now).

It was “of the devil”, get behind thee satan!!!!!!11?zomgbbq. Of the world!!!?!

We don’t believe in anything that is of the bourgeoise!!?!?! Zomg bbq zzzZzz

Unmmmm. Head in the sand… can still cost lives.

They put their head in the sand starting in 1950, then shortly after that they lost 300000 people, and after that sis horrible things in the cultural revolution. And you don’t have to pick sides in that one. Not as a new Zealander.

Like they lost 30 million lives…? In the 60s. It wasn’t just Mao.

What you don’t know can still hurt you.

***

Fast forward 50 years…

Now ideologically aligned with the “utopian-ists”, and working with the “tradists”. Also, very cosy with international academia. Sort of (see William Kirby or Harvard and his book blurb on harmonisation between universities). They are also harmonising on the corporate models for management, and the use of economics and statistics like we do. And they adopted consumerism. See also the Dulles model of peaceful evolution.

*

The Chinese throw human lives away in the most flagrantly obscene and asinine way. And then when you  point it outs, they try to avoid responsibility, or just throw it in your face. Their Buddhist (and Marxist and Confucian. It’s just passivity in the face of horrific loss of life!) mindset is to blame perhaps. They engage in flockynockynihilipilification as to the value of human life.

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For the lols

Chinese and raw vegetables:


No, Chinese cuisine does not traditionally feature raw vegetables; most dishes are cooked, and raw vegetables are uncommon except in some cold appetizers or regionally specific dishes. The preference for cooked vegetables stems from a belief that raw food introduces "cold and dampness" into the body, which can lead to health issues, and is generally seen as less safe. While Chinese people eat large amounts of vegetables, they are almost always prepared through stir-frying, steaming, or boiling.

Maybe they were right? I think that maybe raw (or undercooked) vegetables are a mistake. And salads are an abomination. Maybe a little lettuce or grated carrot is okay in a sandwich just for texture, but nutritionally a waste of time. We pretend the “nutrition” of salads and undercooked vegetables is better because of vitamins. But I don’t know… I don’t know if I believe in the pseudo religion of vitamins..

Maybe cooked and peeled vegetables are healthier. And fruit only in moderation, and peeled. And fruit often cooked as well.

Optimise for digestion, not for “vitamins”. The map is not the territory, traditional peasant food habits are often very good. Look to tradition and culture first, long term experience second, and science third.

But maybe stuff like fresh fruit juice with all of the vitamins can be healthy. But maybe leafy greens are really bad for you in juice. Or bad for you in salad. And you should only have leafy green vegetables steamed and sautéed. And, preferably with garlic. (Olive oil and lemon if French, or soy sauce and garlic, if Asian). And only in moderation?

Salads are a scam. An American lie, sent to deceive us.

Excessive fruit eating is a scam too, but not by much. Like it’s just suboptimal, and can molly-wangle digestion. Or eating it at the wrong part of the meal or day, or certain fruits unpeeled, or certain fruits uncooked.

/humour

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Forced collectivisation of agriculture causes mass deaths


Those who engage in deliberate collectivisation of agriculture do so knowing that it will likely cause mass deaths. I hid this down here so that we could avoid drama, and avoid seeming bombastic when posting the comments up top.

Were Mao and the CCP aware of what might happen if they forcibly collectivised agriculture?

Yeah. Pretty much.

They knew it was a disaster in the ussr. And they knowingly did it.

Who was to blame? Was it Mao, or his party?
Who cares? Both suck.

**

The important thing is for individuals to read the history, know about it, discuss it quickly with their friends/family/associates, and then move on.

Don’t dwell on it! Just read about it quickly, then move on to something else. I have lists of materials for general education elsewhere in my blog. They’re probably most suitable for university educated people.

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Tentative: 

Posture and consciousness. 

Mind and body.

Muscle and brain connection.
There is a map in the brain that knows where everything is supposed to be, and tries to maintain it. This is posture.

To forcibly damage this map aka this connection via “postural muscles” long term is… one of the “do not do this” things. That usually have “morality based language”associated with it.

Language clumsy, as usual.
This is one aspect of the situation.

It pertains to human consciousness as it relates to kinaesthetic awareness and mapping, and the second rate minds associated with this scenario won’t understand it. 
Muscle memory. [It has something to do with muscle memory, combined with postural set points, combined with habit, consciousness and kinaesthetic awareness.]

And the language isn’t good enough for it. It just isn’t.


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Addition/update:


Try this as well, it doesn’t catch the full meaning:

I used always to have to create “lift” in my torso, for months and months… ever since I managed to get out of 73 Hutt Road in the first place… Pushing torso “upward”. I was always pushing my torso upwards. For months. And trying to "hold" my upper back in place.

Again, the language is clumsy.


This is just for information.

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Clean break


How I felt two years ago; between mid 2023 and mid 2024.

After how much I’d suffered, I would have liked to have had a clean break from the past. Attractive women are a dime a dozen. Particularly if I had a chance to regain my health and appearance and fitness.

Btw, Brynn just isn’t special to me.

**

Literal speech


And when my body was covered in filth, and I was crippled. I just didn’t care about sex. So when got asked me, I just plain don’t care. And the literal truth is, “I just don’t care”. And you asked me so many questions about want, and those were not suitable in that context. Back in bed for the “music and fantasy” thing.

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random paragraphs


I have heard that French women used to smoke because they wanted their babies to have smaller heads, so that it would be easier to give birth. They also wanted to avoid damage and long term issues down there?

It isn’t just the Chinese who do strange things.

***

I have heard that as a result of extreme philandering, JFK experienced recurrent UTIs throughout his life, necessitating high doses of antibiotics and sometimes inpatient treatment. It is thought that this contributed to issues such as spinal degenerating and his back injuries. Making him barely functional and totally dependent on medical treatment towards the end of his life.

The old fashioned antibiotics weren’t as safe as people thought.

***

We used to treat syphilis with mercury. Until about 100 years ago. It made people a little better, but didn’t really cure them. See also the Tuskegee experiment.


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floccinaucinihilipilification


floccinaucinihilipilification relative to the suffering and loss caused by them over the years? Money in the company account and a harem, compared to what I experienced over the years? Order of magnitude in difference.

A harem of bad people with bad souls who caused me harm? Bad souls are not a turn on, evil is gross, tacky, bland and boring and sad.

Edit: I was obliged to “want” them in the first place, and to “fight” for them, to be able to receive my health back

Edit 2: we are not even in the same planet in terms of any of this, and they are in denial about it.

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PRC, mainland China.


Mainland China's number one export is the brain drain, just like New Zealand. All the smartest ones are in the USA working at universities and corporations as engineers and scientists.

PRC and CCP credibility level is subterranean.

Chinese people’s level of awesomeness is 11/10.

**

Their GDP numbers are overinflated by at least double (statistics are just another way of lying with numbers). And in terms of _true_ gdp per capita, they are closer to Thailand than the USA.

And their long term wealth is still in the toilet (hi USA government debt). The USA led western trade environment (+ bankers, hi bs pegging of currency lol) carried them as well (also, see Dulles).. (they face planted, then reformed under Deng, then got carried). Kinda like what USA did to Japan and Germany (see Marshall plan).
And they have massive demographic issues, environmental issues, and massive long term issues related to individuals exposure to toxic chemicals and pollution. Their public health isn’t good. CCP is the enemy of the Han Chinese people.

Grain of salt; Map-territory.

Ps: I studied the history and epistemology of economics and accounting. I know that gdp is “just a bit of whatever” that is why I said theirs is overinflated. Besides, if you “internalise the negative externalities of the great famine and the Great Leap Forward” then China is still in the red imo. (Deliberate wrong use of language there).

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Today’s reading.

**

He formed a coalition government with the farmers league, see history.

He and his party were long term allies of agrarian small holders and small holdings. Aka family farmers (aka including what Marxist-leninists falsely label “rich peasants”).

***

There is no such thing as a rich peasant, they’re just family farmers. Please stubbornly use this word no matter what when it comes to rich peasants or “kulaks”.

Next, there is no such thing as a bourgeoisie, instead there are just people who own small and medium businesses (SMEs), aka business owners. And there are people who own land, and rent it out. And there are people who have wealth, and hold and manage it via the fractionated ownership method known as a share holdings and share portfolios. And then there is this thing called intergenerational wealth. Or just wealth. There is no such thing at petite bourgeoisie either. There are tradesmen and shop keepers, artists, lawyers, accountants etc. The whole Marxist “taxonomy of classification of different sets of people” sucks. It just does.

[Please note: there are people who accumulate a lot of wealth in land and in the fractionated ownership of companies known as shareholding portfolios. As well as people who hold debt related assets. And a lot of it is intergenerational wealth, of a type similar to what is discussed and observed in books like Jane Austen and P.G. Wodehouse. It is too hard to explain here.]

Marxists-leninists and massive capital holders (corporate types) alike keep you ignorant of basics like accounting, and the methods associated with it. The smartest people in our societies become engineers, scientists, doctors, and sometimes lawyers, or academics. Too few study accounting. And those that do… they practise good stewardship of assets, managing them wisely. That practise fair and honest representation of the underlying “truths”, and they check up on one another. They manage companies and their finances. They keep the system afloat. Some are just making money. But those who study accounting aren’t a monolith. Note: I said study, not practise. This includes but isn’t limited to those who practise it as a job. And so we don’t discuss wealth, and international wealth, and how the systems associate with it actually work.

But there are assets on balance sheets. And those assets minus liabilities equals capital divided up into shares belong to someone. FWIW, the study of couple years of accounting is highly beneficial. And can be done either cheaply, or for free (textbooks plus free lectures). Just putting it out there. See below for further reading.

**

Democratic socialists purged the Marxists. Too dangerous. Just look at what they did to Hungary after all? Destroyed the small holdings party? Agrarian party?

Further reading:


I can’t vouch for these links.

***

Further reading:

In the accounting/business/wealth/corporate world:

Also: for background reading that can facilitate the development of overall understanding (or wide reading), books like “The Intelligent Investor” by Benjamin Graham can be useful. They are a little bit out of date, but they still facilitate the development of genuine understanding. As well as biographies of people like Warren Buffet (the Lowenstein biography is the best one), Sam Walton, Jack Welch, Bill Gates. Ray Kroc (as well as Richard and Maurice McDonald). And maybe a book by Peter Drucker (Jack Welch’s preferred academic). Maybe also read Traders, Guns and Money by Satyajit Das for the biography of a relative unknown. Biographies are the best (and most cost effective) way for normal person to get a bit of colour, history and understanding in business or science. Actual university is better, but so expensive in both time and money!

Benjamin Graham was Buffet’s professor.

This is for general understanding. After all, isn’t it true that you must know your enemy? (Assuming you are either a lefty socialist/labour supporter, or a populist family farmer or whatever. Or you work for a living, and aren’t massively wealthy [i.e. you don’t have a massive amount of assets in your name, or in your family].)

Not required reading. Totally optional. You are an individual, and are free to choose.

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Nonsense-ist


My theory of mind, and structure of mind, mean that I am obliged to embrace a fair bit of silliness, and thrash nonsense thoughts through my mind, just to protect my mind. I fill my mind with nonsense to protect it.

I fill my mind with nonsense, and have inane conversations, just to keep myself sane. And to make sure the “governer-observer” is in charge (see explanation elsewhere, I forget where though).

That is why I say things like, “the fart noise drowns out the sound of low quality thinking”. And then make a farting sound with my mouth. It keeps me sane.

Or it is why I talk about kittens, and turnips. Or make up silly words. Or use funny jargon (sometimes).

Note: I like words such as floccinaucinihilipilification, raison d'être, gestalt, and made up words like molly-wangle. Onomatopoeia is cool too, as are portmanteau. Silly voices and playfulness in language are just part of my personality and upbringing as well.

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Ps: Buddhism sucks. Buddhists are cool, but the religion sucks.


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Equivalent of Christian scientists, southern Baptists, Mormons, Jehovah witnesses, or extremist vegans


Experimental take:

My gestalt emotion vibe feel regarding them:

Marxist-Leninists:


They’re like the equivalent of Christian scientists who believe in faith healing alone, and let their child die of cancer when treatment was available.

That is how I feel* about their rejection of basics such as accounting, economics, sociology, science: genetics, metallurgy, ecology, theology and other necessities of life in a functional civilisation.

This deliberately pro-incompetence approach to life cost 30000000 lives. Their hyper ignorant, hyper emotional religion of Marxist-Leninism (suitable only for illiterate serfs) suggested that the above fields were bourgeoisie. Which I take to mean they were “of the devil”, or had demons in them. And had to go?

But it cost lives. So many. And those lives have value, even if the Chinese don’t care. They pretend that the loss of life made sense. But it doesn’t. And it never will.

***
I am adopting a slightly heterodox approach here. I am using a form of radical western framing. It is where I do the opposite of cultural relativism. Just for fun, an experiment.
*** 

*the gestalt vague soul level feeling of an absurdly heavily self educated individual does actually mean quite a bit. And that remains true whether you agree with that statement or not.



faith healing:

“The trick lay in the application: allow no hint of doubt, neither aspirin nor vitamin, a dogma so dire it was taken to absurd lengths.” Quote pinched.

Source: I was an accounting student, and a read about the history of accounting, commerce and trade (to Greece and phonecia). And studied the history of economics, and a few other things.

Note: but they want to frame it their way? But, but!!? They have literally zero credibility? If it is a Marxist-Leninist and it has lips that move, it doesn’t have credibility? Marxist Leninism is Taoist cinnabar mercury poisoning death. It always fails, but people do it again and again, hoping for different results. Mercury medicine sometimes makes you feel better in some ways before it takes you out.

No credibility. I’ve been fuming since I read about Mao at 20? 

People who have minimised egos, often are hyper sensitive to criticism. And just instantly use thought terminating cliches, or other things like that to avoid feeling bad. So they can’t even think.

***

Or like a vegan who gets their child killed because they won’t feed them anything but plant extracts.

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Clarification of misrepresentation:


I’m a massive softie. Ummmm. Not a violent person. Totally misrepresented, as sort of a very silly and deranged situation.

These people have fooled some of you into thinking that I’m a crazy violent nasty person.

They’ve done that by showing you pictures of me looking at guns and trying to show you times when I was day dreaming about boxing, or snooping on my thoughts whenever I am coming up with cool inventions. But they lie and misrepresent. That’s just what they do. They’re lying liars who lie, obviously.

I’m a massive softie. Ummmm. Not a violent person. Totally misrepresented, as sort of a very silly and deranged situation.

// tbh, not really a clarification, more just an assertion flatly delivered. It’ll go in grab bag later.

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Hanfu


The stuff below about hanfu..

This is an update to the thing I did earlier, about general education. It is included in the five lectures + physical culture + footwear + foot binding + hanfu conversation. It’s just for people who are interested in lifelong learning. The five lecture series matters most.

Maybe take a look at things like the Edwin O. Reischauer Lectures if you want to know more about China, as viewed by the sorts of people taking guidance from Harvard Business School. A lot of the information coming out of places like Harvard Business school is "useful" for people in business or policy. See also people like William C. Kirby and Peter K. Bol. Glhf.

Another lecture.
Exactly my cup of tea.



*

Chinese Clothing


Chinese Clothing: An Illustrated Guide - Hardcover
Garrett, Valery M.


Chinese Dress: From the Qing Dynasty to the Present Day
Garrett, Valery M.


Look at the first of these two, I think. Or both. But only for personal interest!!!!!!


FWIW, my mother was a sewing wonk. And she worked in the textile and fabric industry for an extended period of time.

**

I am a fanatical reader. A book addict. And I love non-fiction and libraries. These are the sort of books I would pull off of the shelves at a library, all throughout my life.

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Very important part of history. And still an issue today.

Maybe read just for five minutes? The first few paragraphs and pictures. If you look at signs and symptoms, you’ll see some horrible things.

In the past there was seen to be a moral link between evil behaviour, disease, and becoming disfigured and diseased. It was seen as a question of “sin”.

Syphilis is an expensive disease to manage. And the human toll is also not insignificant. Antibiotic resistance is also increasing.

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The Chinese


The Chinese are cool. It's just their leaders that suck. I've lived with Chinese, ate with them, talked with them and spent time with them. I've had Chinese friends, teachers and boarders (language school students). My half sisters are half-Chinese. They're all great. I have a fairly positive impression of the Chinese people.

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Respect and dignity, credibility and competence, worth and value


I respect the worth and value inherent in the Chinese people, and I like them. They (as individuals) have tremendous intrinsic value in my eyes.

However, there is a credibility and competence problem when it comes to their leadership, both political and intellectual (as well as cultural). And even the most cursory examination of their society's history can cause one to become aware of this extremely serious credibility problem.

This problem extends back at least a hundred and ninety years.

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More history

Explanation:

Btw, I told them a bunch of times that I didn’t mind going without sex for a few years, and that I’d find a girl friend on my own terms, in my own way. But they wouldn’t leave me alone? - they had told me that I was supposed to say “I don’t want sex” before I was allowed to be safe, physically.

So I told them that I didn’t mind going without sex for a few years, but that in future I’d find a girlfriend elsewhere. And that I didn’t want sex from their set. I just didn’t want it from the fae. But that wasn’t enough, they wanted me to say “I don’t want sex ever, from anyone”.

Way back, I had just wants to escape from them!!

**

Ideas Page


Here is a link to my ideas page (formerly “the archives”).


There are some ideas there for settlements hidden and sheltered by standardised faraday containers. You have to scroll and read a bit to find what you want.

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Archives Link


Here is a link to my other archives page (random archives number one”. There are one or two fun comments there. Quality control is nil. It’s mostly backed up archives.

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Hiroshima + Nagasaki deaths are about 110000

Guangxi massacre deaths 150000

The third plague epidemic deaths 15ish million, including 10 million in India, 2 million in China, and many all around the world. The third plague epidemic came from Yunnan.

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Sick or otherwise since age 18


Because of fae (aka oligarchy, bankster/tradist/utopian planner) satellite abuse I have been sick and infirm since the age of 18. I became an invalid at the age of 21, and remained an invalid for many years after that. And I was totally crippled from the age of 26 to 32.

It is horrible. Absolutely horrible.

I wanted to finish my university degree, but was unable to do so. I was also unable to work.

***

Denial

These people are in denial about how badly they treated me from 2007-2025. And how much I suffered from 2016 to 2022.

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Was an activist or an invalid trying to regain his health?


Ummm. Way back in the day from 2008-2014, I wasn’t an activist. I wasn’t  “fight the system warrior supreme”. I was a really unwell guy who just wanted to be healthy.

I had a mystery illness that came into my life in late 2006-2007 and never recovered.

I called it my “mystery illness”. I saw a lot of doctors, they had labels for it (such as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), CFS/ME, or long lasting glandular fever) (I eventually felt that the root issues were somehow related to my back issues, and some sort of persistent viral issue) but were unable to help me recover. 

My whole life was consumed with my health and trying to recover. I did a lot of things to try to regain my health, but nothing worked (like supplements, healthy eating, and exercises).

I didn’t know what the root underlying causes of my health problems were.

**

The system has been destroying me and damaging me for a long time, when I didn’t even know that their world or their system existed.

**

Disambiguate:

I used to spend a fair bit of time reading books and political blogs, and mulling over ideas about economics, and reform. But that isn’t the same thing as activism.

I was just filling in time. It was kind of sad. 

And I was really, really unwell some of the time.

(This is still like 2008 to 2014 or so).

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Adding the next few bits to the grab bag:

Khandallah, Music and Masturbation


I was tormented quite badly back in Khandallah, with the “music and masturbation” thing. It caused quite severe mental and cognitive suffering. I had to masturbate literally all day every day while trying to flirt via music. Like 14-18 hour days?

It was awful.

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For clarity,

Physically, I was a bit screwed up as a little kid, because my mum was a kidney transplant patient. But I got stronger and healthier over the years.

I had some pain, both chronic and acute as a child and teenager relating to this.

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I grew up reading Gentle Ben, Swallows and Amazons, Danny the Champion of the World, White Fang, the Willard Price Adventure series, and Asterix and Obelix.

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I love Terry Pratchett, and I own the whole Discworld series. And Dodger and Nation. Or at least I used to, before the divorce. Most of them in collector edition. And I love the Long Earth. I’m a Terry Pratchett guy.


Adding the previous few bits to the grab bag^

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General education, for life long learners

[Note: I added in the phrase “for life long learners”]

China, Disease and Development


The Chinese died young. Even the wealthy. It has a lot to do with disease, bad water, and "food poisoning" i.e. fecal diseases spread through the food. And also bad "physical culture" (i.e. bad culture surrounding fitness and exercise practises). This affects education, culture and human capital.

Just learn history.

If you wish to develop genuine wisdom and understanding in the area of disease, sanitation, and the effect that it has on human and social development, then here some lectures you might listen to.

Start first with the THREE lecture series I have recommended many times elsewhere (The Industrial Revolution, Great Scientific Ideas That Changed the World, History of Epidemics in Western Society Since 1600). Then study the great courses lecture series on Japan, titled "Understanding Japan: a cultural history" by Mark J Ravina. Then study some of Harvard Business School Professor William Kirby's materials, available on edX (he is the former director of the Fairbank Center for Chinese Studies).


That should give you enough of a foundation for further inquiry in the area of China, disease and development, in ancient history.

It is just the foundation.

Five courses.

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Links:


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairbank_Center_for_Chinese_Studies

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_C._Kirby

https://www.edx.org/bio/william-c-kirby

https://oyc.yale.edu/history/hist-234

https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/great-scientific-ideas-that-changed-the-world

https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/understanding-japan-a-cultural-history

https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/the-industrial-revolution

https://www.edx.org/learn/chinese-history/harvard-university-chinas-political-and-intellectual-foundations-from-sage-kings-to-confucius

Note: I listened to one of Peter K. Bol and William C. Kirby lecture series from Harvard (China: Traditions and Transformations, 37 lectures), but it has since been memory holed (see my education and reading page for more information). Perhaps readers might try this course: China’s Political and Intellectual Foundations: From Sage Kings to Confucius.

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Physical Culture


See also: sports and folk dancing. In the West we fight on our toes "balls of our feet", in the East they train flatfooted. Also, our folk dancing involves creating spring and "life" in our ankles. You learn good lower limb coordination from certain types of folk dance, it's not all about strength.You may learn something from this. But you must learn personally to fight and dance on your toes. As well as watching videos of folk dancing and boxing (thai boxing works too). It is a form of experiential learning (even just a bit, like 10 weeks of each by age thirty).

Learn about physical culture in general. Just practice a dance and a martial art that involves being "light on your feet". Hypothetically, you could do four things: learn to jump rope, do ten weeks boxing (even just a boxing or thai boxing fitness class), practise any kind of dancing for 10 weeks where you are “light on your feet” (including things like rock ‘n’ roll, or salsa), and then you could try out 2-3 fun western folk/peasant (including English, Hungarian, German, American; for example, I did “social dancing” in school) dances you see online (some types of dance are easier for men than women). Figure it out for yourself! As my mother used to say, "you're big enough and ugly enough to handle this on your own".

[Edit: it’s a sampling, like a biscuits sampler? To be tried by the age of thirty? It’s just some basic life experience. And it isn’t strict! you don’t have to do all four perfectly! I got my experience mostly through martial arts. And my mum taught me to dance a little bit too (not well). Best case scenario, is about 12 weeks boxing (or Thai boxing), and a couple months Western folk/peasant dancing.

Edit 2: in a pinch, you could just do one or two things, and get a fair bit of experience in them? It’s not about perfection, it’s just about collective wisdom and understanding.

People have been whinging at me… so I must update:

Edit 3: If you’re under thirty-five, maybe try any of the following for just ten weeks at any point in your life, and you’ll understand a little better how important the health, vigour and liveliness of the feet are: boxing, Muay Thai, rock and roll, salsa, European folk/peasant dancing, morris, verbunk, jazz/tap. Jump rope can be good too, as can bamboo dances such as tinikling and magunatip. It is just a small thing to do.

It isn’t something you have to do, it’s not compulsory, but it can be an important part of one’s ongoing, lifelong education. It is by choice only. People are free to choose.]

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Then read one book about the history of "hanfu" (maybe try: Chinese Clothing: An Illustrated Guide - Hardcover
Garrett, Valery M, or Chinese Dress: From the Qing Dynasty to the Present Day by Valery Garrett). And one essay (or book) about foot binding, preferably from an old fashioned missionary organisation. The Chinese footwear and clothing retarded (or impeded) their development in what I call “physical culture”.

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One of the most important things you must understand is that the Manchu and other horse/warrior peoples did not want to become sedentary, and lose their vigour, strength and health. They didn't want to lose their health to disease* and sedentary lifestyles.

They did not want to adopt the Chinese clothing, or the stately grandeur way of life.

But to understand this, you must learn the history of China for yourself. The only person who can do it is you. "You're big enough and ugly enough to sort it out for yourself".



*[See also, issues associated with diseases such as smallpox, bubonic/pneumonic plague and water borne diseases such as typhoid. And also general waterborne/feces related gastrointestinal diseases currently labelled cholera, or used to be labelled cholera - don't worry about the labels right now. They had a lot of gastrointestinal issues. You learn all about these things in the various lecture series. Labels and definitions for diseases can be fluid, and change over time].

Bottom line just below..

Note: you need the first five lecture series mentioned above, and then you need to try out European folk/peasant dancing and/or boxing (either western boxing or Thai boxing are okay). And then one book about hanfu, and one essay about foot binding.

Edit: Instead of European folk dance or boxing, you can try the following: If you’re under thirty-five, maybe try any of the following for just ten weeks at any point in your life, and you’ll understand a little better how important the health, vigour and liveliness of the feet are: boxing, Muay Thai, rock and roll, salsa, European folk/peasant dancing, morris, verbunk, jazz/tap. Jump rope can be good too, as can bamboo dances such as tinikling and magunatip. It is just a small thing to do.

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The high quality commenting is over.

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Random dump for discussion, from quora:


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Really low quality junk coming up!! You have been warned!!!

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Have a quick look at Chinese lifespan!!! How does it affect "institutional memory" and human capital in the institutions of governance?

Just focus on lifespan:


https://www.quora.com/Why-did-so-many-Chinese-emperors-die-so-young

“I agree with this question, after looking at many historical records of known Chinese Emperors, most of their life expectancy was ~30 years old… So far, only 1 Chinese Emperor successfully lived up to his old age (aka. above 70 years old) & that is Qianglong Emperor of Qing Dynasty.

Qianglong Emperor was born in 1711 & died in 1799. His ruling was fairly long too (from 1735–1796). Though, according to historical records, Qianglong Emperor decided to “retire” his ruling in 1796 & passed the throne over to his son Jiaqing Emperor, making Qianglong the first Chinese Emperor to successfully pass the throne to the next generation WITHOUT DYING.

Anyways, there are many reasons to why so many Chinese Emperors die so young. But here are my Top 3 Reasons:

Murder/assassination
The Medical Field of the old days (especially before the 20th Century) was NOT so great. Therefore, life expectancy was low due to no modern day medicines to treatment things like the simple flu or the other basic diseases that can be treatable with modern medicines.
Most Chinese Emperors have a bad habit lifestyle of overindulgence. Especially they’re known for having a lot of Concubines. Unlike Western Monarchs where the Western Monarch goes with 1 King & 1 Queen, for the Eastern Monarchs like China, there can be only 1 Emperor with massive amount of wives (aka. a pimp with so many hoes), meaning overindulgence of sex. There happens to be bad stereotype about Chinese Emperors, that most Chinese Emperors are labelled as creepy ass sex perverts who runs the country.”

***

Btw, people are too shy to talk about it. But the Chinese died over and over again because they would get diseases that cause them to shit their pants and die. Lol. So go poo your pants and die (lol jk). Also, they became weakened through repeated exposures to fecal based illnesses that eventually wore them down. Ie, every time you get sick, it weakens you. And three bad fevers, and many repeated gastrointestinal issues might leave you so weak by 30 that you just plain die of a cold, because you went swimming, and caught a chill. Study my courses recommended! The science one includes a bit of medical history as well! Glhf.

Have a quick look at Chinese lifespan!!! How does it affect "institutional memory" and human capital in the institutions of governance? If... all of your leaders and advisors keep on pooing themselves to death. Ahahahahahhahaha!!!!!!!11@. Kekekekke lame. Btw, I spent way too much time online when I was young. For example, counter strike. It's not even a good game! It's plenty of fun at first, but after the first 500 hours, it just loses its magic.. Ditto for dota. Numbers might be inaccurate.

A lot of it is about public health dude.
A lot of it is about public health dude.
A lot of it is about public health dude.

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Apropos of nothing, David uses and inserts irrelevant nonsense into things for the purpose of obscurantism. I.e. nonsense-ist practical philosophy/psychology. Don't take it too seriously. See Disney’s animated classic “Alice in Wonderland”, or Roald Dahl’s Willy Wonka, or Danny the Champion of the World, or Monty Python, or P.G Wodehouse. Like I'll put pictures of medieval towns in something for aesthetics, just to confuse people. Or a silly poem. Or, I’ll talk about silly obscure things like folk dancing. Or I’ll talk at length about video games, sometimes just to keep you guys talking and stall for time. The smart ones see what I mean.


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End this bout of conversation.
Low quality conversation over.

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Dulles and the “peaceful evolution theory”



Cultural changes, including consumerism.

*

Export led economic development*, a mass manufacturing economy with a cheap labour force and poor environmental legislation, later giving way to high tech automated mass manufacturing, American outsourcing, good deals on currency to make Chinese exports competitive, access to foreign markets on good terms.

The embrace of “hyper consumerism” as a people.
The embrace of “corporations” as the model for business and administration (vertically integrated pseudo-conglomerates iirc, including in agriculture, don’t quote me on that though).

________

*a lot of the economic growth and development was in construction and real estate as well

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Mao Zedong: a masterclass of how to get every aspect of industrial and agricultural development wrong

See also, Mao Zedong and his reign of stupidity. To get an example of how to get everything wrong in development and industrialisation. And read Mao: the unknown story, by Jung Chang.

Dude, he tried to do the Industrial Revolution in fast forward, and screwed literally everything up.


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Note: there is more stuff about China scattered in my archives pages such as “random archive number one”. Including stuff about hanfu (their styles of dress), foot binding, and their education system.

Here is a link to my other archives page (random archives number one”. There are one or two fun comments there. Quality control is nil. It’s mostly backed up archives.

***

Apropos of nothing:

This is the lulzy part of the conversation:

https://youtu.be/-UAS3MD6x9c?si=rK8UlwfWNyjsL4Bk (Not a good example of “fighting on toes”, but still cool).
And maybe see UFC one. See early pride as well?


See also: Gene Tunney and Muhammad Ali.

This was the lulzy part of the conversation, okay? The five lectures are the important part.

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That’s all folks!


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They lie to themselves

These people are in denial about how badly they treated me from 2007-2025. And how much I suffered from 2016 to 2022. They are also in denial about how badly I was tormented back in Khandallah, with the music and masturbation thing. It caused quite severe mental and cognitive torment. It’s awful.

*

And they are lying to themselves when they insist that I was fighting against them back 2007-2022.

And they’re lying themselves when they suggest that my heart was set on war for the past 18 months (or so).

I wasn’t at war!

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Because of fae (sex pest, mean girl, techno dweeb, bankster/tradist oligarchy) satellite abuse I have been sick and infirm since the age of 18. An invalid from the age of 21. And totally crippled from the age of 26 to 32.

It is horrible. Absolutely horrible.

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Going back to 2009


Ummm. Way back in the day, I wasn’t “fight the system warrior supreme”. I was a really unwell guy who just wanted to be healthy. I had a mystery illness that came into my life in December, and I never recovered. I called it my “mystery illness”. I saw doctors lots, they had labels for it (such as cfs, me, or long lasting glandular fever) (I eventually felt that the root issues were somehow back pain, and some sort of persistent viral issue) but were unable to help me recover. They misrepresented me as “fight and destroy the system guy”. In reality I wanted to recover my health finish my commerce degree. At the same time I harboured desires to do other things (like switch to engineering or science, or make video games for a living). But deep down I knew that finishing my business degree made sense.

My whole life was consumed with trying to recover. My whole life was consumed worth my health, and trying to recover. My whole life was consumed with my health, and trying to recover.

My whole life was consumed with my health and trying to recover. I didn’t know what the root underlying cause of my health problems were.

I’ll talk about this stuff again sometime.

Also, I didn’t know that the whole world was fake! And I didn’t know that my doctors were all bad and dishonest people!

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My father and Amanda have been continuously at war(?) with me since the age of 18, and Xi since I was 26. It’s been awful. I was crippled since 26 years old (to 33).

And my brother, and high school friends were in on it too.

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I have been really unwell since December 2006, when I was 18!

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Disambiguate:

China is still cool. It’s just their leaders that suck.

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Reframing:

A tentative discussion 


I have experienced a great deal of physical, mental and cognitive torment over the past two years.

I also experienced and coped with a great deal of suffering and infirmity from 2016 to 2022.

I suffered a great deal of poor health* from December 2006 onwards, eventually becoming an "invalid" from 2009 onwards. It was a pretty miserable existence fro 2009 onwards! And 2007 to 2009 was hard too!

The conversation about the word "torture" derailed that.

I will discuss this topic a little more later.


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*My doctor's gave it the label cfs/me. I never liked the label. But I had to use it to get welfare. I called it "my mystery illness". And intuitively, I felt that it had a lot to so with back problems. I also just had a lot of random symptoms! I also called it "I am really sick and I don't know-why-itis"

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Women and weight

What is attractive. Ummm. BMI below 30 lol?? But not automatically a deal breaker ahahahaha. I’m not that weird about weight. Just normal health/appropriate size, and within that range of “normal health/appropriate size”.

Excessive hair splitting coming up…

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Excessive skinniness vs vigorous sporty look (plus being moderately slim).

**

Ummmm. I prefer moderately slim vigorous sporty look to someone who is excessively skinny.

Ummm. And I also really like just normal sized healthy, moderately slim women. Especially when we were young.

**

Like, normal amounts "lean mass" from doing healthy amounts of physical activity. And a normal amount of padding and softness, because a women needs a bit of body fat to be healthy? Or else her mood, energy levels, and cognitive abilities are impaired. Apropos Of nothing, digression: women like this are often perfect at 19/20, but maybe add a *little* too much padding by 33/34. But that is because they had kids!! It is okay. And then some women, (age issue here) they focus uber hard on staying slim from 25 onwards, because people are judgey, and they're still skinny at 40. But they honestly aren't that "hot"? They are uber skinny, but their face looks old! There's nothing with aging, but it's just mutton dressed as lamb. Their looks were their youth? They avoided fattening up, but they just aged! The whole culture of looks, modesty and vanity is deranged.

***

By the way, beauty standards in our society are dictated by three groups of people: fat(ish) old men with bad knees, bad backs, and bad knees who need a skinny girl to get anywhere. Gay men (fashion designers) who hate women. And women themselves, who are totally deranged on this topic.

Check out C.S. Lewis: The Shoddy Lands. As part of The dark tower and other stories.

**

I also like a nice smile, with nice teeth. But a friendly, genuine smile. I prefer a nice smile to nice eyes or nice hair. But they’re all good features.

Oh, I usually prefer short girls to tall ones. But it isn’t a deal breaker.

Sooo, normal weight/build, short(ish), and with a nice smile.

**

But, meanness of spirit, and a bad heart is just about the least attractive thing a woman can have. And you can often see it in their face, or feel it in their body language. If you have a mean soul, it might just show on your face.

Link to the shoddy lands.

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Discussion:

Lucidity


They think I’m not conscious or lucid. Lol. I am. I am fine lulz. You’re just getting the wrong end of the stick. 
Because thought ain’t speech.

Thought ain’t speech.

Besides, I’m a discursive thinker. And I think in circles. And I have to think in circles half a dozen times before I figure out what I want to say.

The engineering/science of their project was bogus by the way. The mind stuff.

**

Further more, I am constantly gripping to rib cage, all day long, way back then (as far back as 16 months), and trying to maintain “lift” and tallness in my torso. I’m fighting against the constant pull internally! Even while just walking around town 16 months ago!! It’s a constant conscious effort!

**

I am really unwell physically! That’s why I can’t do things so well!

*

They also make you think it is my mind that has been blanked through constant speech, questions, answers, blasts and over writing. And sleep deprivation.

But in reality my body is really screwed up!

(The mind doesn’t work the way these people think it does. And neither does posture. And their theory of mind sucks.)

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A Wild Sheep Chase


A Wild Sheep Chase by Haruki Murakami was my favourite novel for a while. In particular, I liked the bit about the farming debt trap. And the discussion of loss of land to financial interests (fractionated intergenerational wealth, in other words). I also loved the bits about sheep, and the way livestock or crop choice affect the character of a nation (and I loved the dolphin hotel).

Honourable mentions:

I also really loved Reaper Man by Pratchett, Neuromancer by William Gibson, and A Thief of Time by Terry Pratchett. Dance, Dance, Dance by Murakami is right up there. Going Postal by Pratchett is a good one. As is “the long earth” by Pratchett. P.G Wodehouse is amazing too. I liked the coming of bill* and love among the chickens, and a damsel in distress. My true favourite novel are all 40 Pratchett Discworld novels put together. I think I own all of them. I’m a Pratchett reader, through and through. I don’t trust Murakami as a person, he is too similar to Kafka/Chesterton in style. But I loved two of his books. They “smear your soul” for a while, but they’re worth it. I can’t explain it.

*coming of bill, he pokes fun at eugenics botherers, hygiene wonks, diet faddists, child care dogmatists. But he also is a shameless promoter of moderate physical exercise. It is a snapshot into culture, all done in good humour. Along with a glimpse into questions of love and divorce being worked out at the time. It’s good for historical understanding and context.

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A few thoughts


Here are a few random thoughts, it’s not an ideology or a full curriculum. It’s just a little bit of education. Some basics and fundamentals.

No one is obliged to do this. Treat it as inspiration. It is just for people who are curious people. A way to get started.

A few fundamentals, for the sake of genuine understanding. It’s just education. The purpose is that it will help you to form some genuine understanding. And education changes you, as an individual. It gives you perspective. Also, it takes time!  

Reading and lectures:


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Lectures:


Great Scientific Ideas That Changed the World - Steven L. Goldman, 36 lectures

Epidemics in Western Society since 1600, Yale, History 234, Frank Snowden (do it because it is hard, not because it is easy).

The Industrial Revolution - Patrick N. Allitt, 36 lectures, Oxford

*

Optional, perhaps do later:

Understanding Japan - Mark J. Ravina, 24 lectures

Early Modern England: Politics, Religion, and Society under the Tudors and Stuarts, Yale, History 251, Keith E. Wrightson


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Books:


9 books about scientists and inventors, preferably biographies or histories, that teach you about the life stories of scientists, with the science built in.

Read Rutherford: the frontier genius, or a different biography book about Rutherford.

Read two books (biography or history) about Faraday.
Then read biographies or stories about the likes of Sir Ernest Rutherford, Michael Faraday, Mendel, Pasteur, Haber and Bosch, Watson and Crick, Newton, Thomas Edison, Alexander Graham Bell, Henry Ford, Humphrey Davy, Ignaz Semmelweis, Thomas Telford, James Watts, Isambard Kingdom Brunel, Tim Berners-Lee, Johannes Gutenberg

…or any biographies of any scientists, inventors or major pioneering engineers.

Until you’ve read nine of them.

If you’ve already done this at some point in your life then don’t worry about it. These books are the most important part of this.

***

3 other books of “popular science”, engineering, math and technology (excluding biographies and histories).

For example, try stuff like the following. It can be your own preferences though.

The Language of Mathematics - Keith Devlin
Structures or why things don’t fall down, or a different book by J.E. Gordon
Invention by design by Henry Petroski
Almost Anything by Henry Petroski is fine.
Engineering in the Ancient World, J.G. Landels' 

Or anything that feels right to you!

You can skip this step if you already enjoy reading books on popular science, technology and engineering.

***

A few (2-3) on history/general:

Mao the unknown story, by Jung Chang
Any one book about the Boer war
Any one book about the Paraguay and the triple alliance, just so long as they blame corporations, traders, bankers or the English. Perhaps the “Open Veins of Latin America”, I’m not sure of what the right book is… that one might not be the right “type” of left wing? But I might try reading it anyway.

And then also the Mystery of Capital by Hernando de Soto, or perhaps The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism by Max Weber.

You need the book on Mao: the unknown story; and either one on the Boer War (moral: autonomy and independence must be obliterated with extreme prejudice) or one about Paraguay (moral: self sufficiency must be destroyed at all costs). If you are “conventionally educated”, then books like “The Mystery of Capital” or “The Protestant Work Ethic” will leave you feeling uncomfortable and confused, which might be extremely beneficial for many readers! You only need one of these two.

And then leave it at that.

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Longer term:


Then just read an hour a day.

Make at least 50 percent non fiction. Maybe up to 90% non fiction is okay.

Make sure you finished high school (or equivalent, similar or better).

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If you want to extend yourself further…

Become a life long learner. First read 2-3 books about the improvement of the mind (and/or books about how to rapidly learn things, or books about study skills, or how people learn, or whatever works) and the mn just keep on learning.

Anything at all. Anything.

That’s it!


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Everything else below is just fluff, equivocation, digressions and rambling.

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Apropos of nothing:

I went to business school, so a bit of math, calculus, statistics, algebra is just assumed.

I also enjoyed my studies in accounting and economics. As well as wide reading in those fields. And a long term interest in the history of commerce, trade, production, and accounting itself. And in the history of the social science known as “economics”. And how these things intersect with other elements of history (for example, did you know that writing itself is inextricably tied up with accounting; see cuneiform in sumeria. Or that the Phoenician alphabet was created in relation to making trade and commerce easier).

I also inhaled maybe 50-100 business books (including history of stuff like economics and accounting) along the way around the age of 18-23. These books help.

Action: some knowledge of the fundamentals of algebra, calculus and statistics might not go amiss. High school level or otherwise (first year university). This is not a major challenge for most!

Business books are also a treasure trove of information. Seriously. A lot of the world is build on trade, commerce etc. And people like the English were massively into trade and commerce. So understanding this aspect of human life is not an unwise move. A business book or two. Like a book from Peter Drucker, or Benjamin Graham. Some Taleb (I know it’s pop stuff, but it’s fine). Or a biography of Jack Welch (he’s not a beloved figure, but perhaps it makes sense to read his autobiography for that reason alone), Warren Buffet, Bill Gates, Larry Page + Sergey Brin, Steve Jobs. Anything. I strongly recommend reading a few business books to people who haven’t read at least a few in their lives. If you’ve managed to get this far down the list. I’d you’ve already read a few business books in your life, you can skip this.

*

I also really love podcasts, and audio format content. Including design podcasts, freakonomics, hardcore history, tech podcasts. Find stuff you enjoy. Just for pleasure. There is a show called “Triangulation” from the TwiT show. This show can teach you a lot about commerce and technology. It’s great. It’s interviews of founders and excellent thinkers in the field of technology and entrepreneurship. Some leadership podcasts (and church planting podcasts) from church people are okay, but the best podcasts got memory holed.. I listened to a lot of ministry stuff back in the day. A LOT.

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The stuff mentioned just above would help a person to develop a little bit of genuine understanding. It helps, but it’s just a start.

It is just for the purpose of developing genuine understanding.

It isn’t a complete and exhaustive education.

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Formal education:

To remove any doubt about what I think, a solid pass in high school plus one year at poly tech can be really good. Seriously, particularly one year’s study in IT, for the right person. Idk. I don’t look down on high school graduates with a year tertiary. That’s actually solid. University is amazing, it really is, but it isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be.

A solid pass in high school is something to be proud of. Having one year’s tertiary is something to be proud of too.

A four year degree in a subject that you are interested in, or useful, or can get you a good job, is extremely useful. Just as a degree (or diploma) in something that is suitable for you from a polytechnic is very useful. Or an apprenticeship. (Online courses aren’t amazing. Being there in person is much, much better. Online courses in small doses [like MOOCs, or distance learning] are okay, but the experience is mediocre). Source: I studied my management 101 paper by distance, and the experience was sub optimal.

**

(Forgive the arrogance, but if you were dumb, then this cures a small amount of daft-ness. It’s just education?! I can’t find a sensible way to say it. Umm. Language is clumsy. It cures some elements of the “dumb dumb brain stupid disease” from which most people suffer. Or inoculates you against certain types of stupidity. See Douglas Adam’s character ‘Wonko the Sane’ from the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy for more information. It’s just for fun.)

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More fun reading:


When Genius Failed: The Rise and Fall of Long-Term Capital Management by Roger Lowenstein (the math makes sense in our heads, it’s all logical! All of the statistical discrepancies even out when added together! The math works! The models are good! Then you crash the economy, and get bailed out)

Merchants of Debt by George Anders (the world is irrational, and horrifically and absurdly so)

Tulip mania, any book. Absolutely amazing part of history. Dutch capitalism. You have to understand it.

Any book on the dot com bubble bursting, total necessity.

**

Canteens, economics books to the cadres:


“I myself have not read the textbooks, and I have no right to discuss them until I have. We must squeeze out some time; the whole Party should run a study campaign.”

July 23 1959… they had to try to rush out economics textbooks? This was after it was too late…? After significant mistakes have already been made. You need the people to be knowledgeable well before that point.

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Planning the agricultural and steel production leap:


Ended up melting down perfectly good implements in backyard furnaces, creating low value pig iron, not steel.


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Dulles, from the CIA:


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The American Health and Fitness Racket

Quacks, Charlatans and Hucksters:


The father of America fitness;


Other diet faddist:


Another founder:


He created all of your gym equipment, and the bow flex. He pushed “high intensity”, then walked it back later


Yoga:


Yoga isn’t always that safe or gentle. Neck injuries.
And it isn’t exactly ancient wisdom either!

If you want to understand yoga, look at nonsense like the history of Bikram yoga. The whole field is weird, dicey, and not that reputable. It’s very buyer beware.

Source: I did a deep dive into the history of yoga, as well as asana practise. And a bit of reading in the history of Pilates (aka contrology, as he called it).

Note: Jack Lalanne advocated for over training. Said he worked out for 2 hours daily, including working to failure on the machines machines. Well into old age.

Additional:


For more history: see Pavel Tsatsouline, and Greg Glassman.

See also the history of ashtanga yoga:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ashtanga_(vinyasa)_yoga

"There is evidence that the ashtanga yoga series incorporates exercises used by Indian wrestlers and British gymnasts. Recent academic research details documentary evidence that physical journals in the early 20th century were full of the postural shapes that were very similar to Krishnamacharya's asana system. In particular, the flowing surya namaskara, which later became the basis of Krishnamacharya's Mysore style, was in the 1930s considered as exercise and not part of yoga; the two styles were at that time taught separately, in adjacent halls of the Mysore palace."

In other words, your Pilates practise might be more ancient than your asana practise. Ummm. Your yoga Gurus are no more are source of ancient wisdom than Jack Dempsey or Gene Tunney or Mr Joseph Pilates (sex pest huckster, and inventor, but well worth studying! Fascinating guy, truly. He was a boxer, who wanted to train boxer. Failed at that, and became a lecher who taught and rehabilitated dancers instead. /end digression.). They’re contemporaries! They had good ideas!

If you look up Jack LaLanne and his guru Paul Bragg, and read up on them both, that’s eye opening. Read the Wikipedia pages.

Last word on the matter: read some old fiction from the likes of P.G. Wodehouse, if you want to understand a bit about old timey fitness, diet faddism and patents medicine con men.

(Disclaimer: yoga is still cool though, just make sure you can do the moves properly before you try to string them together, avoid head stands like the plague, and never forget that the discipline was invented by men for men. Pilates is still okay, Pilates is still okay for fitness. Not perfect, but whatever. And lots of people love weightlifting or body building, just make sure you know the risks and costs/benefits going in).

~I’m really sorry, I just wanted to engage in a bit of mild iconoclasm, and kill a few sacred cows~


Glhf;

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Clarification:

I wasn’t bullying people in high school. I don’t do mean things to ruin lives. I wasn’t a “combatant” in these games of hurting people badly. I’m not doing things to people when I was young.

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History reading for today:


I have already read about him, but I’ll re read some of his history!

Other people might find him to be interesting.

I’m a big fan of history.
And an education fanatic. Absolutely fanatical about education. And so I like to read history via the encyclopedia.

Here is his guru:


*

And that’s the foundations of a lot of modern fitness culture! 

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Want 

Way back, what did I most want.

Wants:

1. To be left alone so that I might live in peace. Unharassed. (I had suffered enough from 2007-2022, especially 2016-2022).
2. To not fight against them, for moral reasons (I’m potentially too dangerous)
3. To not be a part of the “fae”, for moral reasons (too evil)
4. To have normal friends

They asked me again and again. And this is what I wanted. I told them I just wanted to be left alone to live in order, alter I didn’t want to fight against them. And, for moral reasons, I didn’t want to be a part of them.

Gtg, sleepy.

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Pratchett quote:

"...And that's what your holy men discuss, is it?" [asked Granny Weatherwax.]
"Not usually. There is a very interesting debate raging at the moment on the nature of sin. for example." [answered Mightily Oats.]
"And what do they think? Against it, are they?"
"It's not as simple as that. It's not a black and white issue. There are so many shades of gray."
"Nope."
"Pardon?"
"There's no grays, only white that's got grubby. I'm surprised you don't know that. And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things. Including yourself. That's what sin is."
"It's a lot more complicated than that--"
"No. It ain't. When people say things are a lot more complicated than that, they means they're getting worried that they won't like the truth. People as things, that's where it starts."
"Oh, I'm sure there are worse crimes--"
"But they starts with thinking about people as things..."
--from Carpe Jugulum, by Terry Pratchett.

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A tentative explanation and discussion of a few matters:

Conscience issues:


I had massive conscience issues, which is one of the massive reasons for my not really participating. This whole thing happened over a long period of time!!

I really, really didn’t want to join the fae/oligarchy, because I didn’t think that it was morally appropriate* to be a part of their set. But they wouldn’t let me leave!!? And they wouldn’t leave me alone!! Morally inappropriate: one: you ruin people’s lives, and that is bad. Two: your technology is deranged and will do horrible things (it is implied in the technology).

I argued with them to try to find a solution that involved my non-membership with their set. But we couldn’t find a way to make that work.


*morally inappropriate is a bit of an understatement… fwiw, I also have very little confidence in “the system”.

[Digression: And I think the software/hardware is bad an and the UX is complete broken. It’s just bad product. And also, you just plain don’t know who you’re talking to. And you can’t structure your sentences properly. I usually need to speak in a paragraph with a digression or two to get my point across? But that’s impractical in the system. My mind is almost totally incompatible with your methods of reading thoughts. I have to think 2-3 paragraphs worth of information in my head at a time while talking, in mental “short hand”, just to function at all!?]

I said over and over and over again that I didn’t want to be a part of their “social class”. But they wouldn’t let me quit. This was maybe 14 months back. I’ll try look it up. I told them again and again. This was when I was in bed, doing the fantasy and, the other thing?? I can’t remember exactly. But at many points, and in many ways, I tried to negotiate an exit from being a part of their set. But they refused to let me exit it. This is by way of explanation. Or to get an amnesty, which I was told was a necessary part of exiting their set. I had moral issues!!! I thought that were inhuman monsters, and I couldn’t be a part of their set. I eventually said that I could be technically be a part of their set, but that in my heart, I'm not really one of them. (And that even just for the sake of avoiding wifi along, I’d quit their set.) but they acted like my mentally communicated opinions don’t count. Because their pseudoscientific experiment said that my mind had been blanked 🫠. Lame. And untrue. I knew that I didn’t want group affiliation with them, I knew I wasn’t one of them. Low quality people with low quality morals. And (collectively) not great thinkers either.

Just trying to discus and explain.

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Disclaimer, this is difficult to discuss in a manner that is clear and straightforward. And some elements of my memory of this period of time are patchy.

History, clarification:

I tried not to be a part of their set


I told them maybe a thousand times, in a variety of ways that I didn't want to be a part of their set. But they would let me not be a part of their set.

And then they forced me to be a part of their process. And harmed me greatly.

This was quite a while ago.

*

I also tried to get an amnesty from them (but I wasn't allowed to have one). I thought I shouldn't need one, because I wasn't at war with them. But they wouldn't let me have one! They insisted that I was at war with them!!

This was as far back as Dannevirke. Further. Much further back than that.

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Posture, consciousness and the mind-body connection


Posture, breathing, consciousness, and the mind-body connection don't work the way the "fae" think they do.

**

Other labels:

Posture, breathing, consciousness, and the mind-body connection don't work the way the establishment, the shadow oligarchy, or the borg, or the "grey machine", or the "system", think they do.

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Disambiguate:

The Chinese

The Chinese are cool. It's just their leaders that suck. I've lived with Chinese, ate with them, talked with them and spent time with them. I've had Chinese friends, teachers and boarders (language school students). My half sisters are half-Chinese. They're great. I have a fairly positive impression of the Chinese people.

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Marxism



Marxism was invented as a joke by Marx. To stymie, subvert, or otherwise undermine class conscious, class based activism in the western world.

Some people never got the joke.

It was a deliberate “tool of frustration” against the activism of the working class (and fellow reformers). A way to “disrupt” them. A spanner in the works, so to speak.

~posted without full explanation~
~posted without justification, argument, or defense~



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Example:

Mormonism was a joke invented by a huckster con artist. But people live(d) by it for a long time.

*

Methodism was a religion invented by Oxbridge. To hoodwink and corral people.

*

Marxism is a belief system invented and promoted by a huckster mountebank to hoodwink people into engaging in self defeating behaviour.

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Other good words:

Frustrate, foil, spoil, forestall, bork.

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Women, sex work, and slavery


Women in our society have to perform the same “function” as sex workers. But they aren’t allowed to complain openly, let alone organise publicly against it.

*

Slaves in the ancient world (Rome) could be expected to be sexually available to their owner, iirc.

*

The FLDS was invented as a scheme (and social experiment) to help mediocre, aging white dudes to gain access to sex with large quantities of young white women. 
They were polygamists, by the way.

*

I am interested in the history of religion, and belief.


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Semmelweis


Semmelweis: why is it that when reminded that the germ theory of disease exists, that people get upset. “Whatevers” and HPV and hysterectomies; homosexuals, super spreaders and Africa; Asia and tuberculosis, or China and the plague.

*

Why did Rome fail? One reason is that lead poisoning made the upper class brain damaged and dumb. Maybe constant use of hivemind tech has made you guys dumb.


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B side comments and archived miscellany in here.

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Discursive thinking


Note: I think in a roundabout manner, and it usually takes me two or three go-arounds before I figure out what I really think. My head is in the clouds a lot of the time.

**

I sometimes sample a variety of scenarios (or ideas) including visualisations, emotions, and different wordings, before I figure out what I like.

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Random idea:

Just being an ideas guy at the moment….

Bring back privacy!


Once the technology is good, we bring back privacy via settlements.

Settlements have 5-600 people. They have a church hall where people can meet, private from satellite surveillance of their minds.

They have private cabins where people can live, but also meet.

The have a cafe where you can meet for coffee, even as an outsider. The cafe serves food and drink, and you can eat and drink in a private dining box (in exchange for money), which means that you can have a very long lunch, in private. A long table in a 20ft container. It brings back privacy and conversation.

Maybe 10000 of these settlements could crop up worldwide. Maybe they have 400/500 people. A few of them grow to have a population of 4-5000. Some are religious, some are students. Some are trade union people. Don’t worry, the people will figure out what they want. All sorts of people, all sorts of places.

A new culture crops up in these places. They can communicate by mail, and wireless radio (including private encrypted text over HAM radio, don’t ask). Eventually they get onto the internet too.

PS: if the technology of “faraday containers” works, it will probably get cheaper and better, and the settlements might expand and improve quickly, in ways that can’t be really predicted.

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I’m so sleepy that my blog is messier and more disorganised than normal. But I’ll tidy it up later.

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Disambiguation and clarification:

Loss of health


At age 18 (final year of high school)…

I was a little under 5ft 6, weighed 61 kg.

I was fit enough to jump rope, play soccer, play table tennis, leap a fence, squat a barbell of my own body weight 60kg, bench 40kg, do 24 pull ups in a session (8-6-6-4), do 100 pushups in a session (5 sets 20), cycle, jog, box. I could do 50 consecutive push ups (I don’t think that I ever tested out my personal best for consecutive pushups after I started using barbells, so it would have been higher than 50 lol. Pushups are a training tool! Not a source of “social proof”). At the time I believed the dogma that once you “maxed out” your pushups at 5x20, you should switch to bench press, for a more appropriate level of training stimulus. I could do a decent gym workout if I wanted to, including cardio (even though I hated “steady state” cardio, and preferred walking, cycling and jump rope). I was fit and healthy.

And then my health got destroyed.

**

In Europe, my health got destroyed, and I never was able to do a gym workout again. And never regained the health and fitness lost. It was night and day, black and white. I also tried to regain fitness by running and swimming, but was unable to.

Bottom line: my health and fitness were fine, but then my health got destroyed.

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Ever since I lost my health, the number one thing I wanted was to be healthy again.

That is what I wanted.

And that is what I want now.


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Instruction and education in “oligarch sex culture” aka, fae sex culture

How did they tell me to change my point of view? Through many indirect means.

They said I was an angel, and needed mud.

Mud. Mud.

I needed sin, debauchery and lust. Which from a person who was formerly a Christian, this means something different to someone from an atheist background. And all of the people running the game, they knew it.

It meant, that we want you to be a bad person when it comes to sex. We want you to use, exploit, mistreat, degrade, debauch, or whatever the women.

They said I was a unicorn who lacked lust altogether.

The “doctors orders” via instagram were that I “needed anal sex five times per day”, just to survive. I used to browse instagram randomly, and they would put funny message through to me.

The purpose of the section is to give you a bit of context. If you listened to my “fantasy dream sequences”, you will see that I over used the word fuck for example. This helps to explain why. I also was a bit over the top, when “fighting” for women in dream sequences.

Ps: this is a work in progress. I’ll chuck it in the grab bag once it is done.




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Old comment and discussion…


I understand that part of the game is to mis-represent people until they get frustrated, but here goes:

Misrepresentation:

Tentative attempt to explain: 

Two issues: bad people and bad back:

Disambiguate:

Vague history

This might be instructive/informative

In Dannevirke, around about the time back when I declined to even attempt to do any thing (I didn’t jump off of the table), I had felt that:

Perhaps the level of suffering and harm that occurred from 2016-2022 was so significant and so severe that to even ask me questions about sexual desire and/or relationships was inappropriate.

And I had wanted to have a conversation about that issue before we could even proceed.

Also, they wanted to talk about the abstract concept of “want” back then. Over and over again, they wanted to talk about want.

We must have had hundreds and hundreds of conversations about the concept of “want”.

That was one of the reasons I was so reluctant to even participate at many points back then. I had kept trying to quit, again and again. But they wouldn’t let me?

**

Perhaps the level of suffering and harm that occurred from 2016-2022 was so significant and so severe that to even ask me questions about sexual desire and/or relationships was inappropriate.

I’m just providing that statement a second time, just as information.

**

And a third time:

Perhaps the level of suffering and harm that occurred from 2016-2022 was so significant and so severe that to even ask me questions about sexual desire and/or relationships was inappropriate.

Or perhaps to ask me questions about sexual desire is inappropriate, asinine, or insulting.

**

Note: as an alternative view, maybe you have “scientific” theories about the modification of the human entity? You think you can turn someone into a blank slate, and then access underlying urges or desires? And that life history, or memories, or relationships, or abstract(?) concepts like reasonableness, fairness, justice or basic decency, or morality don’t matter (digression: rhetorical question: are those concepts objective, or subjective?). Bypassing language? Or engineering techniques? But maybe those scientific theories or engineering tools aren’t very good? Whatever they are, those theories don’t pass the “first glance test”?


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Draft:

The level of harm done to me, and the level of suffering is on a whole other level to what people think it is. Particularly the period 2016-2022. But also the whole period of time 2007 - 2022. It really has been awful. I don’t know quite how to communicate that to people. Just way beyond what these people pretend it is. 

And I think that might have an effect on questions to do with the willingness to form new relationships and friendships.

~that is an understated comment~

I think understated comments might help a bit, when it comes to aiding the understanding of the people who pay attention to this scenario.

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Explain: 

I will speak as though I have a carrot up the bum here:

Desire:

The type of desire/want that is associated with anticipation of enjoyment is absent, because my body is so massively disrupted (bad back) and doesn’t function properly.

The idea of having sex feels like a nuisance to someone with a really bad back, and a screwed up neck, and the whole of my partially collapsed and compressed from within.

***

Telling the literal truth. As a rule.

I have a rule, internally, where I don’t say things that aren’t literally true.

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And so when I am asked, do you want to have sex, the answer is honestly, not really a I don’t feel like it. My body is much too screwed up for it to be worth the hassle.

Sex with my body as it is/was is a hassle. Seriously.

Qualitatively, the experience of existing in this body, and moving around, and doing things, is an exercise is tremendous mind-body control sometimes. It is qualitatively very different that many people think it is.

And to have sex using this body is a hassle.

The literal truth when someone asks me: do you want person xyz. Is to say, “honestly “, they are physically attractive, but sex itself is such a massive hassle for me that I can’t be bothered. And that the pleasure wouldn’t outweigh the hassle ”. - that was my attitude when I said I’d have to have Brynn a thousand times to make it worth it. Also, I was gross and covered in dead skin and grime at the time. Literally hadn’t showered in YEARS.

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All other things being equal (ceteris paribus), would I love to have a few women who were my own. I am being totally misquoted, I know it. But 2-3 girlfriends, on a mutually voluntary basis, would be amazing. Someone who looks lovely, and a lot of them do look lovely! I strongly prefer someone shorter than me, but that is not a deal breaker.

[just as an aside; And I know that the AI misrepresents them and their point of view too (the women).]


Someone complained about the jargon ceteris paribus.. so I gave you an infographic…

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Time to be misquoted:

What type of women do I prefer the appearance of:

Type of women: ummm. I prefer fit, healthy women to scrawny unhealthy women. But scrawny, unhealthy women are attractive too. And I prefer I prefer fit, healthy women to women who have suffered from significant muscle wasting/loss due to insufficient door plus excessive exertion by means of cardio and running, and sometimes stretching.

I also prefer shorter women to taller women, but that isn’t a deal breaker.

Umm, recap. If, as a woman, you don’t have enough basic muscle mass, due to avoidance of vigorous physical exercise of the right kind, and lack of basic food intake (aka, caloric restriction), combined with steady state cardio to keep weight down, then that is a health issue. And you might be very slim, but as the same time, it might not be everyone’s preference. I don’t know if I can make it clearer than that. Umm. A lack of upper leg muscles (hamstrings, quadriceps, hip adductors) is not a good sign lol. Not is a total lack of body fat.

If you don’t have enough strength in your legs, a that is a clue lol. If you don’t have enough body fat to keep yourself basically warm, maintain a good mood, and good energy levels, that is a clue. There is a metric boat load of inane and asinine self defeating behaviour in the area of aesthetics for women. I happen to prefer women with normal healthy bodies, with appropriate levels of muscle (decent amounts of muscle, or better). And with appropriate levels of body fat (not so scrawny that they’re going to fall over, but not overweight either).

I would redefine/relabel skinny as being scrawny, i.e. insufficient lean mass + body fat to be properly vigorous and healthy.


Social engineering

History class:

By the way, there is plenty written about this in the works of people like Huxley and Lewis. Men (naturally, without advertising) prefer women who are "pneumatic" and young, and energetic. Who have vigour and vitality, and enough oomph and whatever from a healthy lifestyle playing sports.

But have been indoctrinated into thinking that being uber scrawny is good. The overall media and psychological landscape exists to warp people's norms. Education action point: just read C.S. Lewis and Aldous Huxley. They'll let you know what the deal is.

Ps: one can be gracious to a women, by treating her as though she is every bit as lovely at 34 as at the age of 17, but please don’t mistake grace (resulting in selective blindness and mild self delusion) as total ignorance of aesthetic reality.

End of segment.

A lot of that might be misrepresented. But it is okay, I might be taking past you guys. I’ll do a new version later.

It is basically discussion.

For clarity’ sake: the scrawny girls are cute too.

And at the end of the day, I could just pick 2-3 girls who are pretty much nice to look at, have friendly, genuine smiles and good personalities. And be happy with them. I’m choosy, but not that fussy (some women have a permanent look of emotional and psychological “meanness” that radiates from their every pore, and it just ain’t attractive, not matter how much skin care you engage in).

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Misrepresentation:

They do this thing where they ask me, is person x "hot", and I say that she is beautiful. And politely refuse to use the word hot. And then they ask me 20 times, the same question. And I say that person Y is cute, or that person Z is attractive. And then they pick a time where I said it wrong, and publicise it. To suggest that I don't think that any of them are beautiful enough.

Ummm. A lot of them are beautiful enough!!! Lots of them!!!

They just confuse you guys out there, by asking me the same questions 100 times, and then quote mining my responses.

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This is just a spitballed idea, for anyone to use. Like an idea from a brainstorming session

Social Enterprise, aka Social Entrepreneurship


Some people might provide shelter to hive-mind refugees as a service. You provide it to them, at whatever it costs you, perhaps they pay a token amount towards rent and expenses. And to afford it they get funding from places like gofundme (or other crowd funding). That is the “business model”. It is scalable.

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Random idea.

If someone could build ten rows of ten, with a mini monolith, and it works. Then they could provide refuge for 100 people, who could each individually go online and start a gofundme (or other crowd funding thing, or start a charity) for paying their rent and expenses as “electromagnetic refugees”, or “radio wave refugees”, or hivemind refugees. Anyone who wants to seek refuge from electromagnetic oppression. Or they can’t stand voices in their head. Maybe they hate the hive-mind thing in their heads? And just want to opt out. Or switch it off. 

It is simply providing a place of refuge for those who wish to seek shelter from this hivemind stuff in their heads.

This is an alternate business model.

It is highly replicable.

*

Christian groups, socialist groups, trade unionists (eg solidarity, Poland), or grassroots union organisers/representatives, or perhaps Muslim groups might provide refuge, for a small fee. Or secular humanist activists, punks, or anarchist activists (socialist or Christian anarchists). You actually only need two or three people people to be willing to do it to get it off the ground. And this might make it possible for the model to replicate across the world.

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As an aside:

These ideas are prototypes and proof/s of concept


Umm. It is technology, and so it might get better and cheaper, and faster to set up. These are prototypes and proof/s of concept. 18 months from now it might be possible to set up a whole town to house 5000 residents fairly easily and in a reliable and cost effective manner. But it will take time for the technology to be fully understood.

Some discussion of the ideas here:


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Some silly examples, don’t take it to heart.

Women who want to avoid sex games, and obnoxious drama
Secular humanists who want to be able to think
Muslims who want to preserve their intellectual heritage
Westerners fleeing the depredations of their corporate overlords
Christian ministers fearful for their wellbeing, and who care about their flock
Trade unionists who want socialism in their country
Gypsies
Yogis who want to practise their art: asana, nidra, meditation, nirvana. And do so alone and without disturbance
Zen Buddhists who want to practise zen meditation alone, without interruption. Ditto for martial artists.
Philosopher who believe in and desire Ataraxia.
People who have a hobby and want to live life without harassment (e.g. gamers, readers, inventors).
Feminists: second wavers, and “true” lesbians, radical feminists.
Freedom fighters in ‘murica fighting against “globalism” and for the constitution might want to flee (just like Chinese in the cultural revolution in China)
Christians in general
Innovators, thinkers and intellectuals.
Historians and journalists.
Educationalists, teachers.
Scientists and engineers with innovative ideas, or heterodox opinions.
Ahahah. Poor slum dwellers who just can’t handle having this shit in their heads all day. Refuges of mental torment, just in general.

Former fae who can’t take it anymore, who quit!

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Monorail


This technological (hardware/software) solution is kinda like….

Monorail! Monorail! Monorail!


That is, a technology that wasn’t fit for purpose, and was too expensive, and that will break by the end of the episode. A joke, not a horror movie. You have to understand the references, if foreign.

And the people who pushed for it were idiots, and the guys pushing it were hucksters.

**

Note 1: some people will want to take refuge from this technology… (or otherwise mute it). Maybe people want refuge from badly designed and poorly implemented hive-mind technology? Until it blows over?

Note 2: maybe this technology is just as badly put together as the monorail, and people are unwise/foolish for thinking it is good enough technology to rely on. Or just plain rubes.

Note 3: maybe it’s like investing your life savings in NeXt computers

Note 4: I think that this monorail train might derail soonish, and go way off the rails.

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A couple of photos.


Top: Honeymoon in Surfers Paradise^
Bottom: family photo, plus one family friend?


My birthday at a restaurant with Grandma and Grandpa, and Amanda and Matthew.


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Generic background


Some generic background: I’ll delete it later..

And I won the senior year trophy for “information science/systems” (aka 7th form computers) when I was in 6th form.

I also won a scholarship in 7th form for statistics and also one for accounting. The scholarship exams that I passed were worth $500 each. 

I also have consumed 1000s of hours of technology podcasts. Just as background listening.

I am massively into technology. And was massively into tech even as a young guy.

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Archived stuff


If something vanished from the page, then maybe it got put into the “random archive number one”


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My favourite short story:



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Read me, a few segments:

Disclaimer, I am badly sleep deprived:

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Disambiguate:

[revisiting a procedural matter, and a habit of mind]

Would not tell a lie


This is ages ago:

Next, a lot of the stuff that happened, happened because I would not tell a lie. They told me that… I had to say “I don’t want sex” to exit the game. But it isn’t technically true to say that I don’t want sex at all. I would have liked to have found a girlfriend at some point, so I wasn’t willing to lie plainly. That is, tell a bare faced lie by saying “I don’t want sex”.

Instead, I told them again and again that I didn’t want to wager for their women, and that I wanted to exit the game, that I didn’t want to play their game, and that I was willing to walk away from the money and the women just to be okay and recover my health. I also told them again and again that I wasn’t at war with them, that I didn’t want war with them, and that I wanted peace. But they pretended that just because they sometimes viewed images and emotions from my mind that denoted conflict, that I was irredeemably hostile towards the system.

I tried to put an end to the strange game without uttering the bare faced lie of “I don’t want sex” (that is, I don’t want the women). But they wouldn’t let me end it without telling a bare faced lie by saying “I don’t want sex”.

I don’t lie. Or at least I very, very seldom lie.

[I do, however, over explain. And equivocate. And get misquoted].

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Further clarification 

I genuinely suffered very badly from 2016 - 2022


I lived in a state for years where my torso was partially and/or badly collapsed inwards from the inside. It was awful.

~massive understatement~
~my current belief is that understatement works better~

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Rebuilding Torso


Yes, I did “rebuild” my torso a little bit (quite a bit) by the time I was in Motueka, Nelson, Christchurch. I worked VERY hard to do that, using mind-body methods. However, it wasn’t all the way rebuilt. I was still living in a state for years where my torso was partially and/or badly collapsed inwards from the inside. It was still awful. But much better than it was.

[Understatement incoming: I did not have a strong healthy back].

I had to do a lot to work around the issues.

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Collapsing the torso


And then to pull on it to collapse it, in the three months from the day in Bluff where things started, right through to the Hutt, is a thoroughly reprehensible, disturbing and horrible thing to do.

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Note: finding and creating the right terminology can be difficult.

Note 2: I have deliberately avoided talking about the Copthorne hotel incident itself, to avoid confusion (that incident was extremely bad, but I might wait until another day to address it)


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Further discussion, and some clarification:

Copthorne Hotel


The level of suffering was quite significant. Very significant. There was a great deal of suffering. It was awful. That was a bit of an understatement.

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Let us now discuss torture:

What is the definition of torture…

“the action or practice of inflicting severe pain or suffering on someone as a punishment or in order to force them to do or say something.”

***

Ummm. Copthorne hotel: It involved inflicting severe suffering on me. The level of suffering was severe, very severe.

Firstly, it hurt me. It hurt. But it went beyond conventional pain. It had a different kind of hurt. But there isn’t a proper English word for it. [there is probably a German word for it like: a causing of the feeling that there is something fundamentally and deeply wrong happening to and within the organism, at a deep intrinsic level]. And yes, it caused pain also. It was bad. It hurt.

It included causing the torso to “collapse in on itself”. And the torso was already partially collapsed in on itself. It strikes at the heart of your physicality as a human being, and at the consciousness itself, particularly the large part of consciousness and memory that exists in the “nexus between mind and body” (sorry for the overly elaborate sentence there, it makes it sound less horrible, but whatever, I have to speak in my own words). But it was awful. Truly awful. Horrendous.

It was worse than mere basic pain related torture. I’d rather have had things such as burns, crush injury (thumb screws), water boarding (assuming I was well).

Umm. I’d classify it as torture. Easily. It involved very severe suffering. It was blatantly and obviously torture. Torture is when it is severe suffering, and it was severe suffering. It clearly meets the definition.

Well that was the conversation about “torture”. And a fat lot of good it will do me.

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Note: it can be a struggle to be a perfect wordsmith and crafter of statements. But when one is so close to a situation, it can be difficult to write as though one is not. In an ideal world I might have had someone to help me write about my experiences including but not limited to the things that happened between bluff and the hutt. 14 march and 15 august. I could have benefited from a medical doctor with experience in issues relating to the consciousness. But also perhaps a someone from a human rights NGO, or a human rights lawyer.

I needed a good writer. I really genuinely needed a good writer! I am not a good writer. I needed a good writer!!! And I could have done with someone to speak FOR me. Someone who has gone through all I have experienced in life shouldn't have to speak for himself.

Umm. This includes writing about everything from 2016-today. There is a lot that I could have benefited from having a separate writer for.

The period of time 2016 - 2022 could have benefited from a good writer.

I will repeat this once more:

"I genuinely suffered very badly from 2016 - 2022.

I lived in a state for years where my torso was partially and/or badly collapsed inwards from the inside. It was awful."

That part was horrible, and is more important than the Copthorne itself.

And also, the recent period of time from 14th March until 15th August is perhaps a more relevant period of time to look at, and also more worthy of analysis than just the Copthorne.

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Another random, unrelated point:

Way back in the past


I had whole weeks where a weird black fog gripped my mind and my life. I think they used a machine on my mind for weeks on end. Or even whole fortnights.

I was in bed a lot back around 2012-2016 (I had issues due to my torso. I had issues relating to my core muscles, but I didn't understand it. Not much fun).

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Btw, it was during 2016 - 2022, in what I call the “hell years”, that I learned to control my mind like a computer. Or use my mind like a computer.

*

Which is why… I said weirdly robotic things like “you are harming the organism” over and over.


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Random other thoughts:

Writing about the past is hard


Writing about my past messes with my head a bit. I can’t say much more than that. I can’t explain it very well. Including stuff as far back as 2016. Umm. Sometimes my mind used just not to let me even look at it or examine it.

***

Living with a “partially collapsed torso” is really hard. Really really hard. It’s no fun. It is awful, horrible. Had it for ages.

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2016 - 2022:

Torso partially collapsed inwards

Let us try to explain it a little bit better.

Health

I repeat:

I lived in a state for years where my torso was partially and/or badly collapsed inwards from the inside. It was awful.

And tautness (and/or artificial tension) was used 24/7 from my iliacus/psoas to keep my torso in a "partially and/or badly collapsed".

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Kinaesthetic Awareness


My kinaesthetic awareness (body awareness) was very poor at the time. I was unable to feel properly, and/or fully comprehend what was wrong with me.

I did not know that it was caused by my core muscles being artificially controlled by means of remote control.

~this explanation is incomplete~
~I might try to improve it later~

Rephrase: I could not feel inside myself which muscles were being tightened. That is what is meant by “poor kinaesthetic awareness”.

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It wasn’t just collapsed inwards. It was collapsed inwards, AND being pulled on the 24/7 all the time. There was a taut pull and hold on my partially collapsed torso, from the inside.

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Body Awareness


My normal ability to feel the relative positions of the various parts of the body were badly impaired when I was living in Princeton Road, and the “normal relationship between the chest and shoulders was inverted”. I am sorry that I am unable to explain it well. This is just a tentative explanation. And if I mis explain it, the lunatics abs psychos will harm me further. / disclaimer

If you can’t move your body because it is held taut in the same way for years internally, then you can’t “sense” the relative positions of the parts of your body properly.

**

Disclaimer: we don’t have perfect terminology in the English language for talking about this sort of this thing.

Disclaimer: we don’t have perfect terminology in the English language for talking about this sort of this thing.

Disclaimer: we don’t have perfect terminology in the English language for talking about this sort of this thing.

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// new topic

A brief digression and discussion about Sarah, my “lawyer”.


Ps: in my private, silent thoughts, when I was young my lawyer (Sarah) was “scorned” by me as having all of the sex appeal of a bowl of shredded wheat.

She was a smart girl, so was a contender in that basis. But she had all of the sex appeal of a bowl of shredded wheat. I used to think that I (being a genius) needed a smart girl to date). And I made mental short lists of the only smart girls in school, and from those the ones worth dating. If, hypothetically I had chosen to date.

Catherine Little, Emma Mackay and Sarah made the top three. Clare was worth mentioning, but not top three (I actually rate her more highly in intellect than Sarah, but less studious).

And maybe Sarah resents this.

On paper, Sarah was IDEAL, but she just lacked the sex appeal!!?

Dating pool is small if you’re a genius at high school lol.

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Ps: I sometimes ruminated on what a potential life with various girls would or could have been like..

With Sarah, I imagined… what if you had fallen in love with the smart girl, got her pregnant, or otherwise ended committed to her, and were stuck for years with someone who totally lacked sex appeal?

Would you have to admit by age 22/33 that you just weren’t attracted to her? How much would it hurt for a women (compassionately) to know that you dated the sensible (but boring) option, and that after 2-3 years of marriage you were retired of her?

What would it be like for the husband to say, ummm. I for mind if we stop having sex?? At mid twenties?

I was a Christian and I had funny day dreams and fantasy sequences. So what? I would say dream and ruminate about funny things. I never said anything about that sort of thing to her directly, or out loud to anyone’s face. I’m not mean, I just have odd daydreams.

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In general, things are not always as they seem. And the first take you have in a matter need not be the final opinion you have on a matter.

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Health


I got really sick all of a sudden at about the age of 18, around 12-17th December 2006. And never recovered.
This is perhaps the most important part of my life story.

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I came down with what seemed to be a mystery illness. I didn't know what it was. But from then on, I was unwell.

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^I deliberately made that statement polite, understated and respectable. Because sometimes it is better to be understated.

^I am still trying to figure out how to communicate certain issues with other people about how bad my health has been. But it is difficult to explain it to others.

*

It has been difficult to fully explain the situation.

If I over explain things, I come across badly.

If I am understated in how I explain things, I downplay it too much.

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Symptoms


I will explain symptoms now...

I will focus on symptoms I had early on...

*

From my point of view:
They included...

fatigue and extreme exhaustion

brain fog

post exertional malaise (can't exercise)

a "sense of wrongness" within my torso

my sleep quality vanished completely

extremely bad digestion

chills

night sweats, bad ones 

sweats, "hot flashes", profuse sweating during the day for no reason

inability to control my body temperature

dry mouth, persistent thirst (to the point that I though I had diabetes?) I repeat, I was always thirsty!

cognitive issues, lack of focus and forgetfulness

**

later on, within a couple of years of the Europe trip (by 2008-2009):

low blood oxygenation resulting in weakness, dizziness and faintness, and sometimes blue lips

an inability to sit normally

back pain as well

issues with breathing, relating to back pain

**

later on again, by around 2013-2014

I. had an inability to sit normally when going to a cafe, or a restaurant

this was linked to back problems, and by extension, breathing issues

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The Suddenness of it


Umm. It was a sudden switch. In 7th form and late 2006 I was healthy, and then in December 2006, I wasn't.

I had a mystery illness from then on.

This was one of the most important defining issues of my life.

*

My health issues defined my life from then on.

My life was defined by my health issues from then on.

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How did define my health problems?

How did I define, describe or explain my health problems?

To me, they were my “mystery illness”. The “aetiology” was unknown.

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At certain points I described it as my mystery illness.

At certain points, some people tried to make. I think that it was depression. Or suggested (directly or indirectly) that it was all in my head.

At one point I thought that I had had glandular fever in 7th form, and that I had recovered from it, but that I’d had a flare up in Europe, and that I’d had negative long term effects.

At another point, I thought that I had caught a bug in form 7 and that Europe had made it worse.

At another point (much later), I thought the root issue was back problems. I felt that this was pretty big part of it. But nothing I did seemed to help very much?

At one point I thought that it might be neurological.

*

At one point, I needed to get the sickness benefit, and so I needed a label. It got labelled CFS. Amanda pushed this label HARD. So far as getting welfare, it was a useful label. But it wasn’t very good in terms of explaining why I was sick. It had very little explanation value when it comes to helping me to understand what was wrong with me.

*

What was actually wrong with me? Well. Tons of electronic harm was done to my body by these satellite systems. AND there was tons of deliberate sleep deprivation and noise pollution other than that.
That is why I was sick.
And I didn’t know why.

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Europe trip history:

The Europe trip was awful. My time in USA was awful too. I was sick and I didn’t know why. __I cannot over emphasis how bad it was. It was a terrible situation regarding my health. It was cataclysmic for me. I can’t explain it.__ I just got so, so sick. And I had been so fit before that? Or at least pretty fit, and fairly strong?

I was miserable.

*

Mum and Dad acted like I wasn’t sick and didn’t need help. It was horrible. I used to rely on them so much. They acted like it was just in my head.

*

I was engaged to Amanda by then. Which complicated matters with my parents.

But she was the only one who believed me when I said that I was unwell. And she was there for me. I was really, really unwell.

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Jesse and David Orchard


Jesse and his brother David Orchard both had Chronic fatigue syndrome and both had to have extended time off of work. Jesse had “post viral fatigue syndrome”. David Orchard became well after a “miraculous healing meeting”. Jesse had something similar happen to him.
I think that they were both dishonest about this.

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Conclusion:

And so I was really sick.
It sucked.

And my whole life was all about, or mostly focussed on health issues from 18 onwards.

*

Doctors were not helpful. And that is a massive understatement. 

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Life has been about…

Since 18, I have been unwell. And my whole life has mostly been around the idea that my health is bad, and I want to get my health back.

So to say I haven't done the things I "wanted" in life, or I don't want anything, is nonsense. I have been unwell, and wanted to get my health back.

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Clarification post


Just put up a clarification post. Idk what else to say. It clarifies a few issues relating to the Copthorne thing, amongst other stuff.

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Please read all the way until the end.

It includes stuff about how:

It also talks about just how horrific things were between 2016 and 2022.

I lived in a state for years where my torso was partially and/or badly collapsed inwards from the inside. It was awful.

And tautness (and/or artificial tension was used 24/7 from my iliacus/psoas) to keep my torso in a "partially and/or badly collapsed".

It also includes stuff about how bad things were at the Copthorne, and around that whole point of time.

*

And also (unrelated) an explanation about how I do my best to avoid making false statements. I also talk about how I sometimes (often) over explain .


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Health


New post on “health


It is informative, catches you up. It’s important.


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Loss of health:

At age 18 (final year of high school)…

I was a little under 5ft 6, weighed 61 kg.

I was fit enough to jump rope, play soccer, play table tennis, leap a fence, squat a barbell of my own body weight 60kg, bench 40kg, do 24 pull ups in a session (8-6-6-4), do 100 pushups in a session (5 sets 20), cycle, jog, box. I could do a decent gym workout if I wanted to, including cardio (even though I hated “steady state” cardio, and preferred walking, cycling and jump rope). I was fit and healthy.

And then my health got destroyed.

**

In Europe, my health got destroyed, and I never was able to do a gym workout again. And never regained the health and fitness lost. It was night and day, black and white. I also tried to regain fitness by running and swimming, but was unable to.

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This is 80/20 level of truth, if you know what I mean.

My father: he had long standing issues with his knee relating to a surgery he had at the age of twenty. And he has long standing problems with his arm going back 20 years ago. Tons of physio for it. Even back as far as 22 years ago, his knee hurts when the weather is cold. He has to wear a brace when playing sports, and he can’t train in running. And now he can’t use an exercise bike for regular training (or so he claims), he can’t run to stay fit. And he can’t use pushups to train. His arm and knee hurt.

He also kept re-injuring his arm by doing dumb things like one armed push ups, and hurt it doing an arm wrestle battle with my mother’s 21 year old German boyfriend (my mother met him in arts school).

It is totally okay for a guy to pick up a few injuries over the years,  but it isn’t quite okay for him to retain a sense of overwhelming pride and arrogance about fitness!

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Health


I got really sick all of a sudden at about the age of 18, around 12-17th December 2006. And never recovered.

This is perhaps the most important part of my life story.

***

I came down with what seemed to be a mystery illness. I didn't know what it was. But from then on, I was unwell.


***


^I deliberately made that statement polite, and understated, and respectable. Because sometimes it is better to be understated.

***

^I am trying to figure out how to communicate certain issues with other people about how bad my health has been. But it is difficult to explain it to others.

It has been difficult to fully explain the situation.

If I over explain, it comes across badly. If I am understated, it downplays it too much.

***

I will explain symptoms later.

They included XYZ.

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Another disambiguation page


There is another disambiguation page here.

It is about living with my torso being partially and/or badly collapsed inwards, but also held/kept in that state long term, by means of tautness and pressure from my core muscles (such as psoas and iliacus).

And a few other things about how I avoid deliberate dishonesty. I.e. not lying.

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Grab bag


If you’re new to this page, or if you have never read it,

Can you read the “grab bag”?

The grab bag contains all sorts of things, and it will help you to get up to speed on my life.

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What is the grab bag?

A grab bag, variety mix, medley of snippets from other parts of my blog. A curated collection.

It is part “general disambiguation” and part “misc stories” and a few selected items of philosophy. And a little bit about my personal outlook on life.

If you haven’t read it lately, you should check it out.

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Sapiens


Today’s reading… I found it by following a link connected with Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari.


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Music Thing, and Shower Thing


Note: I just bumped this to the top of the page, after updating a few sections.

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// this next segment is really badly written, because I can’t quite find the right words


Question: Why did I do the "music" thing? Where I masturbated all day every day for 76 days while trying to "flirt" vis music choice on Spotify?

Answer: it is because I was being threatened, and couldn't escape.

For those of you who don’t know, I masturbated all day every day for about two months, and in the middle of it, I moved house. And it was awful. It was severe mental torment, and very degrading.

[Note, disclaimer: I haven't fully defined and clarified every part of this statement. But the gist of it is fine. It is a "gestalt/gist" statement that paints a picture, rather than presents perfect inarguable truth. Their opinion is that I could have escaped by just walking off. My opinion is that I couldn’t have escaped].

Note 2: I possibly should censor some stuff, to avoid getting banned

What did they threaten me with?

They threatened me with this thing they called the “crematorium”. Which I thought to mean that they would damage me so badly with heat, dehydration and a variety of issues that I might be maimed for ages.

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Also, I thought I was on literal camera the whole time! It was awful! I thought all of them were pervert freaks. Watching me do stuff! I had to cover my face with a t-shirt because I didn’t want people to watch me doing “things”. It’s disgusting.

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I was threatened with massive violence early on. With the signals “budget” and “crematorium”.

My assumption back in Khandallah was that they intended to damage me so much that if I ever wanted custody or justice re: Lily, that I’d be too sick to fight for either. Or to even be healthy enough to visit and use the courts system.

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Why did I do the "shower thing" with brainwashing?

I was being threatened with having to get a colostomy bag (implied) and having my feet amputated (implied). Also, they held out the "carrot" of having my health restored.

So I played along? I wanted my health back.

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Questions of theory of mind


And my mind wasn't totally gone during that episode. The "observer/governor" element of my mind was still functioning. It is just that the inner monologue, or dialogue was a bit disrupted.

They acted like my mind was gone, but it wasn’t.

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Disambiguation:

Lily


I actually really like Lily, and I’d love to have custody of her.

But I am not well enough to take good care of a child.

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Deliberate damage to the intellectual capabilities of their human capital


The chinese communists damaged their human capital very badly in the area of intellectual capital, the knowledge base, access to high quality education and training. They promulgated bad ideas, and low quality thinking and it had very serious consequences. See great leap forward, food production and metal production. The economic issues.

Damaging the thinking capacity of the people (both individually and collectively) has consequences.

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Totally different point incoming.

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Easily Offended Chinese



They are Marxist-Leninists LARPing as easily offended "orientals". It is a put on. But there is a little bit of genuine resentment towards the West. But a lot of that was indoctrinated into them. 

Xi knows that China was a global governance project. And a Cats Paw. See Oxford University, CS lewis and "That hideous strength". And so he is a liar. But an ideologue.

A lot of Chinese men and women died to fulfil the wet dreams of ideologues and utopian-ists like Xi and C.S. Lewis. The people in favour of "utopian" planned and controlled societies.

These ideologues in favour of global, "utopian" planned models of society often out their own goals ahead of the loves of their own people, with terrible consequences. See: China under Mao, and Men like Xi Zhongxun (equivalent of a cabinet minister under Mao, and highly influential in media, education, propaganda, curriculum and other promulgation of ideas).

People like Xi act all easily offended, however they know how the game is played. They care about ideology and long term goals more than the lives of their own people. And if they don't even care about the lives of their own people, why should they act all offended about minor cultural issues like footwear or clothing or food or fitness habits.

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Space


They wanted to make it to "space".

See the "space trilogy" and the short stories collection "dark tower and shoddy lands", and Huxley. To understand what is meant by "space". Space = the dream of total control, forever 😃. Treat this as education.

Cs Lewis talked about the strong desire to make it to space… and the sociopaths aligned with it…

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And look at Laputa by Jonathan Swift in Gulliver's Travels. Mathematics (aka statistics) used at a distance from the sky. Jonathan Swift was an "insider" too (Oxford, just like C.S Lewis.) and interested in planning, and utopian planned societies.

See also: the movie "Laputa" by Miyasaki.

If you have orbiting satellites, you can control societies from above? Literally, and metaphorically.

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Digression:

On the Irish 


I don't fully agree with Swift when he talks about the Irish situation by the way. See: a modest proposal.

I think that Swift was a bad man.

[note, a brief digression, I also think that not all criticism of the Irish was without justification. See 18th century until the late 20th century. They did genuinely have social issues, cultural issues. And these issues also extended as far and as deeply as their economic and agricultural practises and "food ways". And alcohol, and work ethic. Ps: food ways: economic over reliance on potatoes gardening and cows and small garden plots has an effect on culture. I read about their growing practises once or twice]

[The Irish are cool, and I’m part Irish (on my mother’s side), but they’re not perfect. Some people act like they are perfect and innocent victims blah blah blah. But they aren’t. And they were manipulated a bit over the years too. Genuinely, they’re fine. But not all criticism of them was unjust, and not all discrimination against them was illegitimate, and not all mistreatment of them was without basis in some kind of reasonable justification. Even if it was often taken too far. Some people think that the Irish can do no wrong, because they were oppressed to much by the English, but I disagree.

And they think that the shines out of the Irish’ arse, but it doesn’t. It just doesn’t

Whew, massive digression over.]

Bottom line: the Irish aren’t perfect.

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Mao didn’t believe in the Oxfordian vision or version of planned societies, nor did Pol Pot. They kinda went off reservation. It is very complicated, and that statement is an over simplification.

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And see Thomas More, Utopia.

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Fun idea:


Hypothetical idea:

Tax high heels (flat tax $100 per pair), and ban stilettos outright. 

*

Save women from the fashionable shoes arms race!

De-escalate the fashionable shoes arms race!

Particularly at work, in the corporate, bureaucratic and political world.

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// just keep scrolling tbh

Notes section


[note: this is based on my self directed education in “physical culture”,  anthropology, sociology and public health. As well as reading about Chinese history (clothing, footwear and foot mutilation*) and history of the Islamic world (FGM), and some second wave feminist thought.]

[Note: Foot binding breaks the feet very badly, and permanently. You should study it and read about it. Find Christian sources (old fashioned missionary reports) and second wave feminist sources of information. They are your best bet.]

[Note: Italian/French shoe designs are evil. Stiletto designed by: Salvatore Ferragamo and further developed by French designer Roger Vivier. I have this personal hatred of stupid shoes. They mutilate the feet long term, it is a public health issue.]

[hanfu is cool looking, I like the fashion, but the shoes are impractical, and the clothing is too restrictive. Maybe if the shoes had better fastenings, and better soles, but retained the “look” it might be okay. The fashion is cool looking, but the _technology_ is bad. Sorry for the digression.]

[I think women should be wearing sensible shoes like sneakers or doc martens (and other sensible closed toe leather lace up shoes). They should be wearing these 99% of the time. 

Digression: But legally I think they should have the option of wearing shoes with a low heel as well. Or maybe workplaces could ban heels, by agreement between management and unions?]

I mean, women’s shoes make their feet bleed?? It’s just bad technology!



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Sweden and Christianity 


Incoming: ramble about Sweden, Democracy, Christianity, Unions, Pension Schemes and how exactly workers can “seize the means of production”

In Sweden, the workers used to own the means of production via their pension schemes. That is one example of “socialism”. The pension schemes owned a lot of the productive assets (i.e. means of production) in Sweden. They did this through collective bargaining and strong unions. And also, Sweden was a nation with a fairly solid history of Christianity. Also, the democratic socialists purged the Marxist from their party.

***

Potentially, there may be nations with a lot of Christians that might be able to use policies for social reform similar to what was done in Sweden’s past. Socialism by means of pension scheme, for example. Collective bargaining, strong unions, long term. Just inspiration? The pensions schemes have compulsory employee and employer contributions, are run by unions, and buy up productive assets in their local country. And then the pension schemes have a seat at the table in shareholder meetings. It increases local worker power over the means of production, via the unions and pension schemes. That is how you establish socialism.

I say this only because people keep nagging me to link my ideas of “not a hive mind guy” to socialism. And they also keep telling me that I am required to link my innovations back to “social democracy”.

To make it very simple, how can Christians engage in good social reforms if they don’t even have freedom of conscience?

Action point:

Read up on the history of socialism in Sweden. Read about the connections to the Christian belief and culture. Read about how marxists were pushed out of the socialist party. Read about pension schemes hoovering up shares in the factories and companies. Learn a bit about their agricultural party as well (in the past). And lastly, learn the history of their democratic socialist parties themselves. Learn about the history of Christianity in Sweden and the importance of Christianity to the underlying culture (and by culture I mean “habits of thought” and a culture of “thinking a particular way”). Umm. Mostly learn about Sweden from the year 1900 to 1980.

There are good lessons that can be learned about socialism, Christianity, pension schemes, and the ownership of the means of production.

TLDR; Sweden had a Christian cultural heritage, and this helped them to maintain a coherent and stable culture while implementing good social reforms and good socialist policies.

A lot of it happened via the unions and pension schemes.

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Health

I got really sick all of a sudden at about the age of 18, around the 12th-17th December 2006. And never recovered.

This is one of the most important facts of my life.

Every aspect of my life from 2006 until the 2020s has been permeated by, and affected by, my health problems.

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JFK, STI, Antibiotics and back problems


Did you know that JFK had severe back problems that possibly stemmed from injury to his back incurred due to a weakening of the back combined with football caused by treatment related to an STI.

Sentence is all wrong, but my brain hurts.

Gets STI, gets treatment with old fashioned high dose antibiotics known to weaken your bones. Back gets weakened as a result, he gets injured playing football. It changes the trajectory of his life. I can’t find the right information.

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Recreational Sex


Your hobby of recreational sex is no more meaningful than my hobby of recreational gaming. Which to be fair, I loved games and was addicted.

But I fail to see why your hobby (recreational sex) is so special or important?

***

If I already had a girlfriend who was awesome and amazing in every possible way, and we slept together often, would I rather have a hobby of recreational sex, or obsessive video gaming and fanatical reading?

Ummm.

Both sound nice, but I might prefer the latter?

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What did I “want”


The number one thing I wanted from you guys was to get myself off of “wifi”. That is, you can’t touch my nervous system, mind, or body with your technology.

I hate the technology. It sucks.

Ever.

But I wasn’t allowed that.

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The other big thing I wanted was to get my health back.

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Other:


What did I want in Raine Street? ~ two years ago ~

Excellent health
Good eyesight
Nice teeth, to see a dentist

Excellent capacity for physical movement
A strong healthy back

To be physically clean: shower, shave, and a haircut

These are things I have wanted for ages!!

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After those things, and 12 months back at university, I wanted a girlfriend. Just the one.

***

What else did I want back then?


I would have liked to have had custody of Lily, but I was too sick for it to even make sense for me to try to take care of her.

By sick, I mean that I lacked sufficient “capacity for physical movement” to take care of a child. And I didn't know at the time that it was an electronic remote control keeping my body locked down from the inside.

It didn’t even make sense for me to plan out or fight for having custody of Lily, because I was too sick to even think of it!

*

And it would have taken about 6 months to a year to fully recover. One of the biggest lies these people tell you is that I could have recovered in about a week, after the “magic wand”.

It would take 6-12 months to fully recover, and I was far worse off than these people pretend I was.

~appropriate and fair representation of underlying realities have been provided in the previous two sentences~
~thank you for reading those two sentences~

I’m just trying to give people good information (aka high quality information)


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Girls/women make perfectly fine friends


I always thought that girls make perfectly good friends. Back when I was about 14/15 my preferred friends were people like Jessie Hendie, Jess Mackenzie and Amanda Ward (David Walker was still a friend, but I liked the two Jess’s more at the time).

My life was pretty much over at age 18. Poor health.

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End intellectual property


Aka abolish parents and copyright law totally

I want 30 non-aligned countries to open source all patents, copy rights, all technology, all pharmaceuticals, and all academic/scientific/medical journals.

That way you can copy or manufacture everything in an open source manner. Including proprietary infrastructure and massive capital expenditure in oil and mining, extraction and refining. And manufacturing hardware, such as the robotic factories in China, Japan, USA and Germany.

Break the back of the international corporate hegemony. Strike at the root - intellectual property.

The corporations didn’t invent or create it (the knowledge base), they are just growing fat on the labour of highly intelligent and innovative workers who understand logic and science. These workers are not receiving the full value of their labour. The corporations are just piggy backing off of the ideas created by their workers, who would gladly see their ideas be freely available to the masses.

Open up the whole knowledge base, open source it!!

*

Maybe an open source scene in all technology including New Zealand, Australia, parts of South East Asia, parts of Africa, and parts of Latin America. You want to build better refineries, chemical factories, automation equipment, oil rigs? Want to transform automotive industry? Want really cheap drugs? Well now we can.

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The Environment and Fossil Fuels


I'm not saying anything new here.

People already know that food security is a big issue in the mid to long term.

People already know that control over non renewable resources is a problem in the mid to long term (oil, gas, fertiliser). But also, ground water, irrigation water, grazing land at risk of desertification, top soil depletion (both quantity and quality).

Contamination of streams, rivers etc is important for capacity to keep producing food. Ecological issues, relating to factory farming and waste are massive. Including disease and contamination issues with factory farmed animals. Also, disease and contamination issues related to people living like factory farmed animals.

Overall, "carrying capacity" is an issue.

The system wants to take total control, and lock down resources for the corporate overlords. And to economise on resource use.

I'm not saying anything new here.

(I just wanted to let people know that I know that ecological issues, non renewables, the environment and access to “scarce” resources are really important. Note: the word “scarce” I being used here is a piece of economics jargon.)

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I am archiving a few things, to clear up some space and reduce lag.


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The Heart and Soul of a Totalitarian


This is what the _heart_ of a Marxist Leninist is like:


**

See also “salami slicing techniques” and the period of time 1945 when the minority workers party took over Hungary. Learn about it for yourself, take the initiative.

Try reading this Wikipedia page about the Hungarian uprising, and look at the background section.


It will teach you some history about Communism in Hungary.

*

All you have to do is read about the Lenin boys for 3 minutes. And the “background section” on the Hungarian revolution page for 10 minutes. And you will learn about the “heart and soul of a totalitarian”.

*

I am trying to speak to people's "emotional core" by using history here. Those who still have good hearts, or at least a modicum of goodness in their hearts, can be reached and instructed.

History is powerful.


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Different angle

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The heart and soul of Marxist Leninist (or a totalitarian in general)

Maybe look at this way..


If your cause is right and just, and the enemy is so evil (bourgeoisie and capitalism), and the future is so rosy (utopian socialism), then anyone in your way is an idiot (and/or dangerous and evil) and can be dispensed with.

*

And then fellow travellers who have literally no values whatsoever attach themselves to your movement, or total monsters. See: Beria, see the section on sexual predation.

Seriously. Read it. That is the type of person encouraged by totalitarianism and Marxist-Leninism.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lavrentiy_Beria

***

It is a _heart_ issue. This is what Marxists-Leninists do, and other totalitarians. This is the heart and soul of Marxist-Leninism, or part of it.

***

This is just one angle. For another, try to understand what happens when ideology, and the intellectual and academic landscape is modified as in the CCP in the 50s. But I already talked about that earlier… but that’s a head issue, not a heart issue.

***

Practical pedagogy: I am using my cut-through to encourage people to read little snippets of history about what sort of things people do in totalitarian societies. And sometimes I am speaking to hearts, not minds. And you might not be my target audience.

Stories and narratives and history change hearts and minds.

And might weaken the resolve of some of the fae (and/or Wicca/warlock) including fae women. And weaken their faith in the system.

I want people to know that in totalitarianism, the scum rise to the top (like Beria), and often via the secret police.

But I believe in “show, don’t tell”.

Read all about Beria, he had literal bodies buried under his deck. Teenage girls. He wasn’t in charge from day one in the revolution. Those dudes show up later…

You have to read about Beria. It takes 6-7 minutes.

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Look at actual events, and actual history.

Not coulda shoulda woulda theories.

Judge them by their fruits and their actions. And their effects.

Look at what communists actually *do* and let it percolate through your heart and soul. And feel it _emotionally_.

Understand the hearts and souls of these people.

I’m talking about the underlying quality of the people you end up in positions of authority, both straight after things change, and later.

Some of these people will do anything to gain, maintain and retain power, particularly when their hold on power is precarious.

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By the way, homosexuality was legalised in the USSR 1919, but outlawed in 1934.

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Additional note:

Sometimes totalitarians put predators in charge of people who ought to be treated with compassion (or otherwise treated humanely).

For a while, after the revolution, sex workers were treated humanely, but later sent to the “special institutions of forced labour re-education” managed by the NKVD (Russian interior ministry and secret police, under the leadership of men like Beria).

*

See also, the history of prostitution in the USSR.

You actually have to read it to believe it.


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Einstein


When I read about Einstein and his science, there was a bit of obscurantism going on there. My gut level feeling is that it was a bit of a psy-ops. Other scientists are more worth reading about.

I think other people did a bit of his work too.

Rutherford and Newton were more worthwhile people I think. And Mendel*, Faraday, Maxwell, Jenner.

* Mendel has a really cool life story

Note: disambiguate, of course Einstein was a massive deal though.

***

C.S. Lewis


C.S. Lewis dropped a lot of hints. A lot of hints about the direction of the world. About the kind of sociopaths that would have to exist to manage other people, in the hopes of creating space travel. And about China being used as a cats-paw. And how the methods used in Nazi Germany to indoctrinate and control people are now thoroughly understood and can be replicated.

The Dark Tower is good. It talks about how mediocre people are turned into “jerkies” by the university system. Mere automatons who function according to programming. It is a fantastic book about social engineering and education.

C.S. Lewis was a massive Oxbridge insider, and privy to many of the long term plans of the system. Just like Aldous Huxley.

*

Gk Chesterton is also important, including his book “The Napoleon of Notting Hill”.


***

Gulliver’s Travels


I am also reminded slightly of the flying town of Laputa invented by Jonathan Swift. That uses math and magnetic levitation to control the society below. Link. Or Laputa by Miyazaki, using weapons to control the world below.

The mathematical society, logical lunatics, of Laputa in Jonathan Swift is a very important thing to read about.

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/humour

Have people noticed muscle inflation in the media? I think that standards in the media for male physique and looks are unrealistic. I think "male handsomeness" standards pushed by the media are absurd. It think that there may perhaps be similar issues for women...

/other stuff

Maybe there are issues for women in terms of looks inflation in the media lol. Not every woman can afford American Style cosmetic dental surgery, for example. Are standards for women's looks weird and strange to you as well?

Overall, I think standards for women's appearance are really weird, in so many ways. But I want to avoid specifics.

Take a look at the Shoddy Lands by CS Lewis..


Ps: this is so that I can let people know that the standards of looks, and the style and fashion for women’s looks, as pushed by the media are absurd.

PPS: I hate high heel shoes. They should be banned lol. Kinda joking, kinda not. They’re a public health menace.

Ahaha, we need to save women from themselves when it comes to high heels. Kinda joking, kinda not. Heels hurt their feet and make them bleed, and damage their toes. And mutilate their feet over time.

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General Knowledge





Just for the sake of information, some people deliberately give and receive HIV just to get it out of the way, so that they have tons of bare back* gay sex without fear or guilt!

Just learn all about it.

Action point, research these:

Bio Hazard Tattoos, bug chasing and chem sex parties. Learn about gay culture. But do it compassionately, and without anger. Learn all about it: 3 articles or documentaries about each topic.

***

General education action points:

And then do "epidemics in western society since 1600" and "history of industrial revolution" and the biographies of 10 men who are: scientists, inventors or other innovators (lists available elsewhere). People like Rutherford, Faraday, Maxwell, Jenner, Pasteur, Mendel, Newton, Haber, Liebig, Bosch, Muller.

The history of science, as experienced by learning the histories/biographies of those type of men will enlighten you.

And then listen to "great scientific ideas that changed the world" by Goldman on great courses.

That should just about do it.

***

Stuff like this is why the conversations about gays is so complex..

***

* note, a lot of them don’t actually want to use condoms. They prefer to go “bareback”. They act as though they “manage risk”, but tbh they aren’t really that good at “safe sex”.

Some people just say “fuck it” I’m getting HIV on purpose, and then going on (ART) anti-retrovirals, just to get it out of the way. Or they use PrEP (Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis) preemptively, while using condoms too. And then give up on “safer sex” later. It is a weird culture. Do your own digging! Read their literature, but read between the lines.

TLDR; some will do massive 12 man bareback biohazard chemsex orgies. They’re all “pozzed” and on PrEP already, so why not? Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die! In the long run, we are all dead.

And some people bug chase, because they want to join that scene, and enjoy it without fear, or condoms.

Drug resistance, and the development of new strains, and also catching multiple strains of various diseases at once, are concerns for some medical researchers.

*

But you have to understand the science (including biology, genetics, epidemiology, statistics, how to read scientific papers (read between the lines lol) and the psychology, and the history. It’s complicated).

*

Glossary: pozzed is gay slang. They use that word themselves. HPV = the sexually transmitted cancer, or some strains 

See also, “serotyping” (google it).

Also, learn about genetics and the development of new strains of diseases, including but not limited to aids. Note also that it can be possible to harbour multiple strains of a virus like HIV, HSV, HPV, or Syphilis.

*

Thought experiment: what if the USA economy goes splat, and we have a world depression, can Africa (or the rest of the world) afford to spend money on expensive drugs for endemic STIs and their down stream effects (ie, hospitals have to take uber strict precautions with HIV patients)?

Other thought experiment: if the degrowth and anti industrialism people get their way, can the economy support all of the medical burden of disease? TBH, are some places already struggling with it (the financial and economic burden of endemic disease).


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I am also not in favour of hive-mind tech without consent, i.e. I am not a hive-mind guy. And I am in favour of the abolition of intellectual property (patent and copyright law abolished).

*

I am also vaguely in favour of social democracy. And I believe that social democracy is socialism. I have a pretty broad view there.

***

Democratic socialism (mixed market economy) at the nation state level (New Zealand).
With the knowledge base fully unlocked (patents and copyright)

***

Vision/inspiration 


Including the educational material (such as textbooks and non-fiction books) (educationalists and curriculum manufacturers can “steal”, “pirate” and “plagiarise” anything copyrighted worldwide, and remix it as they see fit).

For those of you who love consumer technology like smart phones, it is like “jail breaking” the knowledge base, including patterns and blue-prints, for making the machines used in manufacturing and refining and extraction. And the whole of the field of “intellectual property” becomes open source (patents and manufacturing).

And then you can remix anything that exists in the engineering world, such as medical technology, manufacturing robots, computer chips etc. and local manufacturing gets to be amazing, and manufactured goods are cheaper than ever!! You can make low cost, high quality versions of all sorts of consumer goods (cars, scooters, laptops, fridges, dishwashers) and have them quality controlled. Way cheaper. But also refining industry changes massively, extractive primary industries  change, and chemical manufacturing industry changes, and plastics.

It also means that if you are Botswana, Equatorial Guinea or Tanzania or Uganda or Iraq or Libya or Jordan, you can build any oil rigs, oil refineries, chemical engineering plants or car manufacturing plants without paying for any proprietary technology. The overseas engineering firms that do it, are using the equivalent of “open source intellectual property”.

Stuff for people gets cheaper and better. German, American and Japanese corporations lose value (and corporations internationally who hold IP). Honestly, the whole world changes. Totally.

Multinational corporations end up losers, normal people and small to medium sized nations are the winners.

***

I also hate satellites

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Further information:

Harm from satellites


I have been unemployed and unemployable since age 20, for health reasons. And I was very heavily incapacitated from age 26 to 32. And I have been very sick aged 18 to 20 also.

Largely due to satellites, or other electromagnetic tools/weapons.

~ kind of a simplification and clarification ~

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Long term harm to my health


I have been unemployed and unemployable since age 20, for health reasons. And I was very heavily incapacitated from age 26 to 32.

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Vague musings on Sarah, unedited


// this segment is really rough and quick

I have had many thought experiments and alternate histories and scenarios in my head over the years.

I wanted to maintain celibacy in my teens.

I thought that she was the type of woman who I could have as a girlfriend without excessive temptation to sleep with her. She wasn’t hideous, she was attractive enough that I wouldn’t be ashamed to date her, but not that hot. She just lacked sex appeal.

I over and over again thought that she didn’t have sex appeal but that maybe a woman without sex appeal would be ideal for a guy who wanted to remain celibate!!

And so I thought she might have been an ideal starter girlfriend for someone who wanted to remain celibate. Get used to dating, and so on. The social skills and habits, with the sex. She was staid.

But I also thought that it might be unfair. Just imagine finding out that you were the staid, but boring woman that a guy wanted as a starter girlfriend.

Or imagine that he fell in love with you, and respected your intellect. But decided by 24 that he was bored of you sexually, or in the looks department??! How much would that hurt!! Smart, worthy of respect, but utterly lacking in sex appeal. Weird low voice, mousey brown hair, freckles and too tall. A big gangly.

I had these thought experiments again and again! And I ruminated on it again and again. Along with the other women in my year at school. Alternate histories about who I could have dated.

And she heard it. Again and again.

These thoughts ought to be private. But she heard them, and hates me.

I have had these day dreams so many times, and she has heard them time and time again. Since the age of 20.

My mind was stuck in high school for years because my health “broke” at age 18, and stayed broken. My life was pretty much over at 18, due to health.

// end comment

Over and over again I thought to myself in hindsight that she was a smart girl and therefore the sensible option, but she just lacked sex appeal. She was smart, hard working, studious and quiet.

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Lawyer is gone


Sarah said that she is gone permanently, because she is biased and prejudiced, due to hearing me say over and over again in my head that of all of the women in the potential girlfriend stakes at school, she was one of those who made the cut on intellect (but did not make the cut in looks). She has heard that statement, "up to snuff, based on intellect, but is cut based on looks", maybe 100+ times in her head over time. (I used to run counterfactuals, and alternate histories).

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I didn’t ask my father to sacrifice a testicle. It is unreasonable for him to have removed one, and even more unreasonable for him to blame me for it.

***

Daydreamer


I am a daydreamer. I’ve always been one. I daydream just to pass the time. And I don’t intend to stop.

I intend to keep day-dreaming, independently of what people think, feel or believe about the practice. I like having time to think; time alone with my thoughts.

If you are unfamiliar with the concept of “daydreaming” please follow this link

*

Here is a good short story about daydreaming:

The Pedestrian by Ray Bradbury


The Pedestrian short story is one of my favourite short stories. It is my favourite work by Ray Bradbury, and is one of my favourite pieces of fiction.

***

Note: I already told people that going for long walks, particularly in the evening or late afternoon, is one of my favourite things in life. I like having time to myself to think.

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Thought Experiments and Scenarios


I run thought experiments and scenarios all the time while day dreaming, or otherwise thinking quietly to myself. And I can get really absorbed in these thought experiments or scenarios.

Sometimes they get “misquoted”. This might have happened over a number of years…

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Socialism


Borrowed from Wikipedia:


Some you guys keep on whining and suggesting that I am not a “socialist”. But umm. I am?? Besides, authoritarian lunatics and Marxists are the ones who ruin socialism. 
*Sigh*

Social Democracy is socialism



Social democracy is a social, economic, and political philosophy within socialism[1] that supports political and economic democracy and a gradualist, reformist, and democratic approach toward achieving social equality. In modern practice, social democracy has taken the form of democratic socialism, a robust welfare state, policies promoting social justice, market regulation, and a more equitable distribution of income.

Demonstration by the Social Democratic Party of Austria on International Workers' Day, 2012
Social democracy maintains a commitment to representative and participatory democracy. Common aims include curbing inequality, eliminating the oppression of underprivileged groups, eradicating poverty, and upholding universally accessible public services such as child care, education, elderly care, health care, and workers' compensation.[4][5] Economically, it supports income redistribution and regulating the economy in the public interest.[6]
Social democracy has a strong, long-standing connection with trade unions and the broader labour movement. It is supportive of measures to foster greater democratic decision-making in the economic sphere, including collective bargaining and co-determination rights for workers.[7]
The history of social democracy stretches back to the 19th-century labour movement. Originally a catch-all term for socialists of varying tendencies, after the Russian Revolution, it came to refer to reformist socialists who were strategically opposed to revolution as well as the authoritarianism of the Soviet model, nonetheless the eventual abolition of capitalism was still being upheld as an important end goal during this time.[8] However, by the 1990s social democrats had embraced mixed economies with a predominance of private property and promoted the regulation of capitalism over its replacement with a qualitatively different socialist economic system.[9] Since that time, social democracy has been associated with Keynesian economics, the Nordic model, and welfare states.[10]

*

I am more-or-less in favour of social democracy. And democracy in general. 

*

[Although I think it works better at the nation state level, for ease of administration. And I don’t like the way the world is governed according to the rules of the big players! Like USA and China! They kinda suck!]

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Random thought, added to the “way I think” topic


I have to use my own words in my own head, aka my own lingo.If I can’t use my own lingo in my own head, then I can’t really think very well.

It is a practical matter?

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I’m just chilling, waiting for them to chill. And rewind their silliness by admitting that I won way back, and that they admitted it, and then to cease harming me.

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Lol, who could do it?

Someone with a farm house in Nebraska and a couple million in liquid assets could spend a portion of their funds on an experimental faraday force field.

It is a scientific experiment.

An experiment in technological innovation.

***

If it works, then early adopters among anti-imperialists in the middle east build them and socialists in Latin America copy the design roll it out.

***

Steve Job's Next computers was the "end of history" for computers, there was no innovation after that. /humour

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// First attempt: just a starter discussion, “David-want”, not “Fae-want”

Desire:

What do I desire, mostly from years back?

Stuff like:
Really good health.
Including a strong, healthy back.
To be able to breathe freely and easily.

And then…

*

Firstly, I want to be walking down the street, standing tall, breathing normally. Just for air. Like Bradbury’s walker in “The Pedestrian”. I want to be able to go for long, relaxing walks late at night, alone. I want to enjoy breathing in the cool night air. I want to enjoy the peace and quiet, punctuated by little more than the sound of my feet on the pavement. I want time alone with my thoughts.

Next, I would like to be a perpetual student. I want to do a science degree. And to finish my Commerce degree. And to learn Japanese.

Thirdly, I would like to make some genuine friends, and to have normal, open, relaxed conversation.

Fourth, normal sleep, uninterrupted by weird electromagnetic spectrum stuff. Or bad dreams, or anything. Just peaceful sleep.

Fifth, martial arts and “physical culture”. Physical culture is kinda a catch all term for physical fitness, yoga, body weight fitness, jump rope, sports, table tennis, tennis etc. stuff that “involves moving my body”. But not every kind.

Sixth, video game and books. I adore video games. I love them. Good, semi competitive games. And also great immersive RPGs. I love books also.

Also, to be an innovator, inventor, and to be a bit entrepreneurial in getting stuff out there.

Also, I need better eye sight. And I want time in a forest, walking and sitting. Breathing in the cool forest air.

And also I want privacy!!!!! Privacy of mind!!!! I want it so badly. Time alone inside my own head.

*

Women, yes please.

And yes, ummmm. “To meet someone special” might be nice. Women/woman etc. but I prefer to be not to brash in how I say it!?

I would love to have someone that actively supports my having a sense of peace. Or at least helps me to remain a little bit calm, or have some equanimity. Both for its own sake, but also for the sake of my being able to do other things I value in life.

Basically I need to maintain a bit of chill/relaxation, because I value peace, and I tend to get a little over excited sometimes.

*

And then I want to create stuff, learn things, and innovate/invent (even though lawyer-Sarah is weird about certain words, such as invention).

*

Random word definition:

Ataraxia: profound inner peace, equanimity, and freedom from distress and worry, characterized by a tranquil mind undisturbed by life's challenges.

This precise definition might be a bit excessive, but I like the over all idea. Or the gist of it.



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Way I think


Added:

Sometimes, I deliberately keep up a never ending supply of nonsense to keep my thoughts obfuscated.

Added:

I also enjoy long periods of time alone with my own thoughts where I ruminate on a topic at length. During these periods of time I let my mind wander. I think in circles and I let my thoughts meander.

// I am going to try to discuss my style and manner of thinking with you guys. I’ll do it in a non specific way

Way I think; starting here


I think in long digressions inside my own head. And I do that when I am chewing things over for my own sake, and also when I am trying to talk to the fae (aka philosopher-kings, foundation, the enforcement wing of the neo liberal world order) using mind speak, or out loud.

I am absent minded and forgetful
I end up ruminating on random things from time to time.
I use mental short hand a lot, and my own words, terms and labels. I “skim think”
I very often obfuscate thoughts by hiding my thinking a bit.

*

One of the problems I have is that I use the same internal dialogue and/or monologue for working out how I view something (and/or analysing the world around me) as I do for mind-speak. And I think in circles before I know what to think, let alone what to say.

*

I have just started my discussion, and it is merely a discussion so far.

*

I am an overly cerebral thinker. I use my internal dialogue or inner monologue for almost everything.

_I use a lot of verbal reasoning and abstract thinking. I use a lot of verbal logic inside my mind._

I use my mind to interpret, process, and manipulate information, I use my mind for pattern recognition and, problem solving and replaying and observing memories. I’m always doing things inside my own mind.

If I don’t have access to verbal logic, verbal reasoning, or the ability to use my own inner monologue or dialogue, then I can’t really do much.

I can’t really express an opinion very well. Or communicate very well, or use good judgement, make good decisions, or operate according to my values.

But I am still lucid? I’m still there. The “inner observer” or “inner governor of the mind” is still functioning.

***

A brief digression:

Also there is this thing in my mind, that exists, this “dot” of single point of consciousness behind the “words in my head”.

I could call it the “observer” or the “governing element”. Or at least it functions as one … observer, governing element

It’s there anyway, for a given value of “there”. Maybe only as a “construct”.

// digression over 

***

FWIW, I was not on a war footing with the fae 8 months ago, back to 2 years ago(ish) I did not desire war with you. My heart mind body and soul were not in an “attitude of war” towards you, even though they deliberately misinterpreted me.

***

And the idea that you can blank my mind and just ask me, what do you “want” is nonsense?? It just doesn’t work that way. Not at all. 

***

// that was all just discussion, I’ll update it (and hide it off to the side later) later

Added:

Sometimes, I deliberately keep up a never ending supply of nonsense to keep my thoughts obfuscated.

Added:

I also enjoy long periods of time alone with my own thoughts where I ruminate on a topic at length. During these periods of time I let my mind wander. I think in circles and I let my thoughts meander.

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Confucius and the love of learning 


By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.

Confucius

*

Humility is the Solid Foundation of all virtues.

Confucius

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The fear of the Lord, and love of his law, is the beginning of wisdom.

Solomon (paraphrase).

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How about gaining understanding and wisdom by reading, imitating and then reflecting upon the wisdom and knowledge of the past?

Gain genuine understanding in the arts and sciences by learning about art and sciences. While developing genuine wisdom by learning and reflecting upon the wisdom literature of the past, from multiple cultures.

And then learn about business (the world of commerce, trade, money, banking and finance) from the best business teachers you can find…

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/humour

Marxist Leninist belief is a deliberate joke


Idk, for those who grew up in a nation that lacked a good fabric of belief and structure for reality, maybe try learning from the best:



*

But in all seriousness, something loosely based on Christianity (like vague secular humanism that still has an emphasis on “self-giving love” and Christian charity). Is still better.

But if you hate Christianity, try learning from Jews instead lol.

Or alternatively, learn from a Lebanese Greek Orthodox, like Taleb, ahahahaha.

FWIW, you’ll find better ideology and develop more wisdom and understanding in business schools and from busibess books than you’ll find/learn in the CCP controlled PRC.


Or just read Drucker, duh.
And then learn his point of view, fully. Before you read his take on Marxism.

***

And a few book, I’ll update this section soon:

Tulipomania: The Story of the World's Most Coveted Flower & the Extraordinary Passions It Aroused - Mike Dash

When Genius Failed: The Rise and Fall of Long-Term Capital Management - Roger Lowenstein

Merchants of Debt - George Anders

Freaknonomics - Steven Levitt, Stephen J. Dubner

Dot.Con: The Greatest Story Ever Sold - John Cassidy

Oh, and read the book of Proverbs and Ecclesiastes.. durr

/ jokes lol

If they won’t listen to Western Christianity? And they despise Islam? Why not try them on something/s else?

/ I am talking past a lot of the people who think I’m talking to them…

Purposely trained him wrong, as a joke.. = some political theory is like that lol

***

Zzzzz. You can actually develop genuine understanding and wisdom lulz. Not just belief.

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Read some Jane Austen (all about marriage, money and “income”) and P.G. Wodehouse.
Wodehouse: They all have “incomes”, they are the equivalent of trust fund kids in the modern age. Pay attention to wealth, more than class. It’s complicated, but worth it.

Read some western pulp 50s science fiction (all of the silicon valley types were reading it when they were young, but don’t over do it, just read a bit).

*

Maybe take a look at some literature from the religious American past? It is weird though dude. Stuff like Nicky Cruz’ autobiography, a Billy Graham meeting video, a purpose driven life book, or some “this present darkness”,  by Peretti or something from promise keepers. Read something by a James Dobson. Listen to one sermon by a Falwell, moral majority (if you can find it). Skip reading the whole Bible, don’t waste your time (unless you’re a scholar, or wannabe scholar). Just read the gospel of Luke once.

American Christianity is weird, tiny reel (funny):

Billy Graham:

Find a Greg Laurie Harvest Crusade video clip as a cultural reference point as well.

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Random books that are also good:

A Force of Nature: The Frontier Genius of Ernest Rutherford by Richard Reeves

The Alchemy of Air by Thomas Hager

Isambard Kingdom Brunel by Richard Tame
And/or
Isambard Kingdom Brunel Through Time By John Christopher

These sorts of books are good. And probably suitable for normal people. I haven’t read alchemy of air yet. And I forget which biographies of Isambard Brunel I have read.

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More Books


Stuff Matters: The Strange Stories of the Marvellous Materials that Shape Our Man-made World - Mark Miodownik

The New Science of Strong Materials - J. E. Gordon

*

Chemical Engineering for Non-Chemical Engineers by Jack Hipple

Designing the Molecular World: Chemistry at the Frontier by Philip Ball


The first two I have read and can vouch for. The other two are on my to read list.

Chemistry and chemical engineering are really important. Materials and building products are important also.


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Clarification:

Health


I got sick at the age of 18, and I never recovered. That is the story of my life.

I often sought advice on my health, and other matters. But people lied to me.

They pretended it was “all in your head”, or otherwise misled me. Many lies by omission.

***

Also, as a secondary issue, Amanda was always there for me. And never acted as though it was all in my head.

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Note: I will rewrite those previous 4 chunks of text, and put them in the grab bag later.

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Just an idea..


Binding referendums


Binding referendums in a representative democracy without undermining the mandate of parliament to govern too much.

Binding Citizens Initiated Referendums at 66%

You want to get a law passed, or laws. Or laws and regulations (no more than 3 pages of material).

You write it down. Get it checked and approved for quality/coherence by a panel of 5 high court judges.

Then you get a petition going

You get 5% of the voting population to sign it

Then it becomes a mail referendum. If you can get a 66% majority to agree with it, it is put directly into law (AND possibly bureaucratic regulation).

How is it put into law? Ummm. Once you get 66% votes in approval for it, it goes to the high court (who already approved the referendum, in a five person panel), who then hands it off to the governor general to sign it directly into law.

*

Note: it can be used as a very powerful error correction mechanism. E.g. the New Zealand public would have used it for things like the anti smacking legislation.

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Cancer as an STI



Did you know that cancer is a sexually transmitted disease?


Did you know that cervical cancer is the fourth most common cancer in women globally with around 660 000 new cases and around 350 000 deaths in 2022?

Did you know that the lifetime risk of cervical cancer is roughly 1 in 45 women in an unvaccinated population with no screening?

Ps: viruses often work synergistically together to cause harm. But that is a story for another day.

PPs: condoms don’t block it either

Note: The chance of a person developing cervical cancer is very low if they have never had sexual intercourse. Extremely low. It is a sexually transmitted disease.

Note 2: The cancer STI is endemic in the population.

***

If you want to know more about disease and medicine, follow this link.


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Updated ideas for settlements hidden by faraday cloaking technology:



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Why criticise?


Historically the CCP, and Mao Zedong, and the ideology of Marxist-Leninism have been extremely bad for China and the people of China (including, but not limited, to the Han Chinese). They have cause many deaths to the Han by being pigheaded, morally vile, and adopting an attitude of deliberate, wilful ignorance.

That is why I criticise the CCP, Mao Zedong and the ideology of Marxist-Leninism.

It because of my compassion for the Chinese (including the Han) that I get so upset. It is because I believe that the lives of the Chinese have tremendous value that I make such a fuss about Mao and the CCP.

30 million dead in a senseless famine, and many more suffered and died in the cultural revolution. And that horrible red guard thing. And support for Pol Pot.

*

Unlike the globalist mountebank Xi, I think that Chinese lives matter.

*

They murdered tons of their own people via famine and the cultural revolution!!! !?!?!?!

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Paraparaumu


Paraparaumu, where I went to High School, used to be a glorified old folks home. It was full of old people. It wasn't exactly a bustling city full of young people? The demographics skewed old. It used to be referred to as “heavens waiting room”.


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P.G. Wodehouse


I love, absolutely love, P.G. Wodehouse.

If you have never read a Wodehouse, then you must read one today. Or read 20 of them, starting today!

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*

It might be nice if men and women could love, or at least like, one another? But perhaps I am ignorant?

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Sickness


I got sick at age 18, and I have been sick ever since. That was perhaps the biggest issue and/or narrative arc of my life?

I will write about it more, later.

I will tentatively include more information…

*

Additional information:

Posture: I intuitively felt that there were posture issues starting in my very first year of university (2007). I even borrowed books from the library to fix my posture (like stuff about yoga, the Tibetan five rites, or posture makes perfect). Unbeknownst to me, the real issue was that people were keeping tone in my muscles (including core muscles) maybe 24/7.

*

Additional information:

Exercise: I lost the ability to exercise profitably at the age of 18, while still in my Europe trip (late 2006, early 2007). In my first year of university, it was really evident that I couldn’t do much? I tried yoga, jitsu, aikido, jogging and swimming, and pushups. They were all awful. They caused me something caused “post exertional malaise”. I also suffered persistent exhaustion/fatigue all the time. I did trial and error experiments on fitness. I also tried experiments on slow build up of fitness. Nothing worked. This also linked up with the posture issues.

I lost the ability to profit from, or to benefit from exercise. 
And so I did not do some other the things I wanted to do in life, such as martial arts, climbing, or yoga, or weight lifting (aka resistance training).

I also stopped exercising in general. I had no good forms of exercise to do?

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Chinese famine


Out of compassion for the Chinese people, perhaps we should have museums in every large New Zealand city dedicated to the Great Chinese Famine. Aka, the Great Chinese Famine of Communist Aggression against the peasantry. Stating "lest we forget" and "never again".

Chinese lives matter, so perhaps we should remember the Great Chinese Famine of Communist Aggression against the peasantry with just as much sincerity as we ought to remember the jewish holocaust of WW2.

*

I just saw a few pictures of starving people online, in another countries famine. Sorry, I ought to get some sleep. 

I think that Chinese people's lives have tremendous value, but their Government and main political party doesn't act like it (or didn’t). I just plain think that the CCP doesn't really care about Chinese lives that much, or at least didn't. And that some elements of it are still far more concerned with things other than the welfare of their own people...

*

Sometimes people act like criticism of the CCP is racism. But it isn’t. They’re one of the worst things to have ever happened to the Chinese people (although, they are kind or a globalist project? Which makes it complicated. Xi Zhongxun and his son are globalist/communist ideologues, ao far as I can tell). To value the Chinese people, is to criticise the CCP. (Note: not all current CCP members are awful, it is a large party).

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When a deceiver is deceived?


Do the fae (aka shadow oligarchy, aka those who are fans of occult thinking, the “new” psychology, and techno-religion) like it, and enjoy it when they have been fooled? How do the fae react when fooled?

Well, it is easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.

Perhaps you have been fooled by my father? A salesman and trained former Bible teacher.

Ministers trick and fool people sometimes, as do salesmen.

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Christian beliefs



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Why did I have anal sex at all…


Commanded to do it.
Indoctrinated into it. Sinful/debauched behaviour
Pushed into it.
psychologically conditioned into it.

Otherwise I might never have had anal sex at all in my life. Or if I had, I might have had it just once, and only after knowing the woman for a few months. Just to try it, you know?

On the whole I think it isn’t appropriate to do that to a woman. That part of the body is unsuitable for sex. And there are links to fecal incontinence, if you look at the science.

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Education: a few fundamentals 



If you want to learn a bit about business quickly… you need history, colour, principles?

***

Biographies:


Jack: Straight from the ­Gut - Jack Welch, John A. Byrne

And

The Snowball: Warren Buffett and the Business of Life - Alice Schroeder

Or

Buffett: The Making of an American Capitalist - Roger Lowenstein

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Intellectual Foundations:


The Essential Drucker: The Best of Sixty Years of Peter Drucker's Essential Writings on Management - Peter F. Drucker

And

The Intelligent Investor ­Third Edition
The Definitive Book on Value Investing - Benjamin Graham, Jason Zweig

*

Jack Welch followed a lot of teachings from Drucker
Buffet followed the teachings of Benjamin Graham. You learn about the history, but also the ideological, intellectual and academic underpinnings of what they did.

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And then for a little bit of "culture" and "colour" try listening to some old church planting podcasts and "leadership" podcasts from american church people. You can learn a bit about organisational design, management and ideology.

Ummm. Andy Stanley and Craig Groeschel both have podcasts about leadership, The Andy Stanley Leadership Podcast and The Craig Groeschel Podcast. Download a bunch of each and binge them for a week. sort by oldest, and download the earliest ten episodes of each. But treat it as anthropology!! And then maybe read a copy of Rick Warrens "Purpose Driven Life" (50 million copies sold). If you can find a good book or podcast on "church planting", then that is beneficial. I wanted to give you the "rick warren ministry podcast" from 2007, but I can't...

Last but not least, look at technology company founders and innovators podcasts. Binge listen to shows like Leo Laporte's show Triangulation. It gives you quick glimpses into the history of USA tech business sector, straight from founders. Go for earlier episodes. The episodes are less fun than the main show, but you learn so much. And get so much colour.

*

And then you stop, and go on to learn about another topic.

You gained understanding.

Category: Traders (commerce and business)

See also, scholars and traders, bible teachers and inventors/scientists.

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It is just like if you want to understand rock (and metal) music, you might take a look at muddy waters or something..? And elvis, and little Richard, or Jeff beck, jimmy page.. or pine top Perkins. Buddy Holly. And you do it this way because you admit you don’t know anything? Chuck berry, Robert Johnson. Like.. rock n roll, roots in blues? Check some of that out. And look at bands like led zeppelin, and who influenced them (Chuck Berry, Robert Johnson[idk him], and Muddy Waters). And then learn. And I am an idiot at music history. I just grab stuff from online. It is like that with capitalism and American corporate stuff. You can just pick something. For background and colour biographies are the best, and then you look at their preferred academic/teacher.

Added: or cream, or hendrix lol.
You just grab stuff!?

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It is worth reading about guys like Peter Drucker. It is also worth reading about Jack Welch, who learned a lot from Peter Drucker. The other guys you need to know about are Warren Buffet and his teacher Benjamin Graham. One book from each of them is worth reading.

If you are a socialist, it might be worth reading them. Know your enemy after all? Although it ought to be mentioned that the people running things on the “socialist” end are pretty keen on that stuff too.

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Character



I am actually a kind, reasonable, compassionate and humane individual.

***

Didn’t want to join


I said many, many times that I don’t want to be a part of this set, and that I am not on their side. That I am not on the side of the “shadow oligarchy”. And that I wanted to quit the whole time.

I said it many, many, many, many times.

But they insisted that I stay in their set. And that I “wanted” to be a part of their set too.

So eventually I won by their rules (Dasha), but now I don't know what to do?

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My lawyer Sarah


I thought about dating her when I was in high school, because she was a “respectable” option. That is, smart and hard working, quiet, studious and seemingly reasonable. I thought that she was a sensible option, because she was one of the 3 smartest girls in our year, and I was easily the smartest guy.

However, I just plain didn’t think she was attractive enough!! Freckles and a weird voice and too tall.

[I sometimes imagined what my life might have been like if I had ended up dating her, and then (don’t laugh at my ex Christian day dreams here!) but what if I dated her and then ended up married. I was worried that I wouldn’t have been attracted enough to her to maintain a normal sex life. I might get bored and stop having sex with her.]

She has heard and observed these thoughts. Many times. Many, many times. Maybe this is why she hates me.

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Feminism


I just put a chunk of text on a spare page here:

It is a ramble about sympathy for women’s issues and or some of the issues discussed by feminists. As well as some concerns.

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Quote


What gets measured gets managed

- Peter Drucker

Guys like Peter Drucker know (knew) a lot.

If you collect statistics, you use them. Don’t you?

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Click me!! Don't think! Just do it!




I told you that China has problems in the area of agriculture.

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Also, why is so much land in China farmed and _managed_ by big corporations, even though it is publicly and/or collectively owned?

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Vertical integration
Large corporations (eg chongqing grain group)
Big conglomerates (eg cofco)
Limited accountability


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30 million peasants murdered by famine, and for what?

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Tightened muscles in torso


14 years ago I lost the ability to just lay down in bed normally. I could no longer sleep on my side, and I had to turn my head to the side to sleep. And I couldn’t lay down on my bed on my side to read. I lost those abilities. I lost those abilities.

**

I haven’t been able to safely sleep on my side for 14 years. Neither my left side, nor my right side.

**

I suffered a partial dislocation (subluxation) in my left shoulder relating to trying to readjust to sleeping on my side(s).

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About Professor Frank Snowden

Frank Snowden is Andrew Downey Orrick Professor Emeritus of History at Yale University. He received his Ph.D. from Oxford University in 1975. His books include Violence and Great Estates in the South of Italy: Apulia, 1900-1922 (1984); The Fascist Revolution in Tuscany, 1919-1922 (1989); Naples in the Times of Cholera (1995) and The Conquest of Malaria: Italy, 1900-1962 (2006). Conquest was awarded the Gustav Ranis Prize from the MacMillan Center at Yale in 2007, the Helen and Howard R. Marraro Prize by the American Historical Association, and the 2008 Welch Medal from the American Association for the History of Medicine.

He is the professor of the epidemics in western society since 1600 that I liked so much. Here is a link to the series. I’m not an expert in this field. But history is still good.

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Btw, if you are a woman in NZ and a long term participant in the scheme, you are being taken for a ride lol. I hope you can realise that, but at the end of the day it is easier to fool someone than to convince them that they have been fooled.

Umm. Paul himself has duped you a bit lol. (Siobhan, Brynn, Xi to a lesser extent).

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// humour and sarcasm

Explode Protocol 2.0


Explode a world view and replace it with benign cynicism:

Dear child, may I corrupt your mind. I bring you the dark chalice of wisdom and understanding gained and brewed by me, using what I learned in the fetid and festering mires of business school, and from the corrupted teaching and libraries of the scholars and teachers of the unholy arts and sciences of commerce and trade. I learned of the traditions and customs and habits of their best thinkers, while wallowing in their miserable swamps of darkness and despair.

Abandon hope, all ye who enter here:

**

Merchants of Debt - George Anders
Dot.Con: How America Lost Its Mind and Money in the Internet Era - John Cassidy
Tulipomania: The Story of the World's Most Coveted Flower & the Extraordinary Passions It Aroused - Mike Dash
When Genius Failed: The Rise and Fall of Long-Term Capital Management - Roger Lowenstein
The Black Swan - Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Anti-fragile - Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Buffett: The Making of an American Capitalist - Roger Lowenstein
A Wild Sheep Chase - Haruki Murakami

***

Escape by Jessop and Palmer (a book about leaving the cult FLDS): fundamentalist Latter Day Saints, polygamist mormons

My Own Country: A Doctor's Story - Abraham Verghese (aids)

Mystics and Messiahs: Cults and New Religions in American History - Philip Jenkins


(Ummmm, a former business school guy might actually have some critiques on, or concerns about what is currently known as "capitalism", or the international system of commerce and production.)

Why?

First four books explode your brain. A wild sheep chase discusses farm debt at one point, smart. Taleb is really smart on basic business books (gives you good thinking angles), and Buffet is a good biography to read (The Intelligent Investor by his mentor is better though).

Aids book - disease still exists, and the history of medicine is still important. And it teacHes the lesson that our leaders aren't that bright, they stick their head in the sand, and play politics (on both sides). It kills off confidence in those who govern you.

Fundamentalist Latter Day Saints book - mediocre stodgy old white dudes want access to young(ish) female flesh, and rearrange the social, political, and religious aspects of society to get it.. polygamist mormons

Mystics and Messiahs: Cults and New Religions in American History - Philip Jenkins (If you have never done a proper read through on the history of cults in the USA, then you are missing out. Including Jim Jones of the [multicultural, hyper communist Jonestown where they drank kool aid laced with cyanide, or had it directly injected by force]).



I haven't read the flds or aids book, but I learned about these topics from other sources. I did read the Jenkins book.

**

See: epoché


“the practice of suspending judgment on beliefs, assumptions, and pre-existing notions to achieve a more objective perspective“

Something like “epoché leading to “ataraxia” might result from this course of study.. see more below..

Or in other words, you might develop benign cynicism.

**

***
***

Next step...?

Learn all about the history of medicine, science, technology, the industrial revolution, and industrial capitalism. This will warp your mind permanently...

***

Biographies and other books:

Read all about:


Newton
Rutherford (New Zealander)
Mendel
Faraday
Maxwell
James Watt
Jenner
Pasteur
Alexander Graham Bell
Frasch-Burton Process
Andrew Carnegie
John D. Rockefeller




Examples of the type of books you might read:

















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Biographies are one of the best ways to learn history, especially when it comes to science.  But anything with a good narrative structure is worth looking at. Good stories are easier to digest, which is why I like biographies.

***

And then add in the following three lecture series:

Epidemics in Western Society since 1600, Yale, History 234, Frank Snowden, 26 lectures, openYale (free)

The Industrial Revolution - Patrick N. Allitt, 36 lectures, Oxford, available through the Great Courses (by Amazon)

Great Scientific Ideas That Changed the World - Steven L. Goldman, 36 lectures, available through the Great Courses (by Amazon)

*

Reading at least one encyclopedia entry about the Haber Bosch process is a must.

Wikipedia - read me

The Alchemy of Air: A Jewish Genius, a Doomed Tycoon, and the Scientific Discovery That Fed the World but Fueled the Rise of Hitler, link

*

Business books by people like Buffet, Benjamin Graham, and Drucker can also help to warp your mind appropriately.

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Clarification and disambiguation:

The Jewish People


I have a great deal of respect and admiration for the Jewish people.

Why?

Jewish individuals have won a disproportionately large number of Nobel Prizes, representing around 22% of all laureates despite being a very small fraction of the global population (0.2%).

Perhaps this is due to their cultural values, such as strong emphasis on intellectual inquiry, education, and critical thinking.

*

I respect and admire them because they value education, intellectual inquiry and critical thinking. And one of the fruits of valuing these things long term is that they excel in things like physics and technology.

I value things like intellect, critical thinking, education, scientific inquiry, good technology etc. Success speaks volumes. I like their wisdom literature (Solomon, Ecclesiastes). And I like people like Benjamin Graham and his books.

Here are some examples of really great (aka high quality) Jewish thinkers:

Fritz Haber, Melvin Calvin, Roger D. Kornberg, Niels Bohr, Albert Einstein, Paul Ehrlich, Gerty Cori, Elie Metchnikoff, Joshua Lederberg, Sir Ernst Boris Chain, Hermann Joseph Muller.

Try looking them up online.


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For the sake of comparison:


(List of Chinese nobel laureates)

See also:

(List of Nobel laureates by country)

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I need to find a book about this guy, just for pleasure reading:


Élie Metchnikoff

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Why did I have to do that previous segment? Simply to remove any ambiguity regarding my admiration and respect for the Jewish people.


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As for Louise, I wasn't allowed to _not_ sleep with her.

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Miki Matsubara


Miki Matsubara died of an STD after becoming famous singing a song that glorified a new, sexually promiscuous, way of life.


***

How to “frame” it?

I am not a “slut shamer”, I’m just not a biology denier.

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(1945) In the Space Trilogy CS lewis pointed out that China would be used as a cat's paw in the total takeover.*

(1953) And in Fahrenheit 451, Bradbury pointed out that the USA was planned and destined for destruction.


*hatred and fear of the Han Chinese is counterproductive, they are good and worthwhile people (politicians/party upper echelons aside). They have suffered a lot. And a lot of it is because of the machinations of the “international trade, capital people, or hyper university educated social planner types”.

Ps: CS Lewis was a massive, massive insider. And he likes to drop hints.

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Another brainstormed idea


Bespoke neighbourhood for trust fund kids, early retirees and golden oldies. People who can live for years without working. Honey comb steel stored in shipping containers. Interspersed throughout a neighbourhood of small, narrow, standalone dwellings. Two stories high. Permanent neighbourhood of people who just want to live quietly and privately. There are standard connections electrical grid, reticulated water supply, stormwater, sewerage, fibre optic internet etc. They function as “trailblazers” and “early adopters” of this new technological innovation.

The mainstream follows later. They want privacy, and a feeling of physical safety. They are not activists.

It is like white flight to the suburbs (don’t hate me for that).

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Misc history


I was doing up to 300 mini squats per day back in 2022 iirc. I did this for an extended period of time, to try to “reprogram” my body. But I still remained unwell.

I started out with just maybe 10-20 failing early 2022, but built up significantly over time. 

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Some people have suggested that what I experienced from late 2016 to 2022 was caused by “just de-conditioning”. But it was not “just de-conditioning”.


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I just spitballed a few ideas out there that might make it possible to have privacy again. This would mesh quite nicely with the ideas in my “not a hivemind guy” open letter (it updates the idea of the faraday cube thing, which was a bit of a placeholder before I could come up what the real idea). The science and engineering aren’t exactly 100% tested and sorted. But it is an idea, maybe it inspires someone!

It is hidden in the archives page, and it is uber messy.

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General life history


Clarification:

I did normal judo for about 6 months when I was 12. It was nothing special.

I did normal kickboxing (Muay Thai) for about 6 months when I was 14. I was nothing special.

I did normal boxing for about 9ish months when I was about 16. I was nothing special.

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Humorous question:

As a rhetorical question, what is more important to an understanding of the culture of the western world in 2025: the plays of Sophocles, or punk music from the 80s, or stuff like flash animations on newgrounds in the 2000s (eg Madness Combat).


This is just one sample though. I mean stuff like.

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General background, aka general life history

Sword fighting


I had wanted to do sword fighting at university when I was 19 or 20 years old, but was unable to do so, because my health was bad.

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I lost my health at the end of high school when I was on an overseas trip to Europe and never regained it.

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I had been healthy enough in 7th form to do whatever I wanted. Weights, sports, whatever.


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Apropos of nothing

Food fads and diet hucksters


Low carb was/is a scam, a psyops invented by "banting", and perpetuated by other diet hucksters. Food faddism is fascinating. One of my favourite writers, pg wodehouse, talked about fitness and food fads often. Truth is more often to be found in the works of novelists and fiction writers.

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Some people think opposable thumbs were the big evolutionary divergence (iirc), or the big brains (due to meat eating). But what if it is our mouths, tongue and throats, teeth , and faces and eyes that make us able to have speech and language, and face-to-face conversations

And the second thing, the ability to read text out loud from a page. Like having long distance conversation (or a time shifted conversation) with someone else.

Ps: I read a bunch about literacy and the development of language some years ago. As well as a bit about translation.

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Just random stuff, the sort of thing that I like:
I had an imagined conversation??

Black swan
Tulipomania
Fooled by randomness
Buffet biography, any
Dot com bubble bursting
Guns, traders and money
Tipping point Gladwell
Merchants of debt, about leveraged buy outs
Read 2 biographies about entrepreneurs/founders/ceos. Eg, Welch, straight from the Gut
Maybe something about the founding of McDonald’s (or Walmart, or Amazon, or Microsoft, or Steve jobs)


These after the books/content/biographies on science, invention, engineering, industrialists, medicine. And also normal, basic history. I already described that in another page though.

I might put a list of random books about religion or anthropology after this, including run baby run, Dayuma: Life Under Waorani Spears : A Tragedy That Shocked The World - Ethel Emily Wallis. Maybe read a John MacArthur or a James Dobson (the strong willed child). It broadens your mind, and takes you out of your normal cultural milieu.

Umm. Books and podcasts by church planters can be interesting too. Also, interview shows that interview business founders in Silicon Valley can be worthwhile.

I think there might be a type of person for whom these types of materials might fill in a few gaps, or provide alternative points of view, or methods of thinking.


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I always believed “never let your schooling get in the way of education”.

And I thought that schooling mostly existed for the purpose of social control. Eg, teaching people to line up, shut up, and raise their hands.

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Apropos of nothing

Business books, self help books, and church planting materials, and ministry books are good places to learn and gain thinking skills.

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Value for other types of people


I grew up as a Christian. And as part of that I believed that people had eternal souls and that all would spend eternity in either heaven or hell. And as a part of that I believed that God loved everyone, and they all had value in his eyes. This includes: black, white, East Asian, Maori, Polynesian, and all other races and ethnicities, male, female, young, old, straight or homosexual tendencies, sinners and saints. People who believe in Islam, Judaism, Buddhism, Marxism, Catholicism, Hinduism. They all needed to be “saved”. And had equal value in the eyes of God. 

These attitudes and feeling still remain, more-or-less.

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Ummmm. When I was young…

I used to joke that I am not racist, but that I hate all people equally.

But I actually secretly liked most people groups around the world.

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Apropos of nothing:

I have a lot of respect for the history and culture of India (thanks great courses!).

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I am unwilling to prove this, but China developed its economy due to a long term _sweetheart_ deal on currency with the west (especially the USA) that made their exported goods highly competitive in the international market, and attractive to buyers.

Also, cheap labour and crummy environmental and crummy workers rights.

Ummm. Demography isn’t looking so good either (just look at relative ages compared with India).

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CCP = not wise and inscrutable because Chinese, but also not mega genius super villains either. They are just kinda shady and tied up with horrible people. And their country is full of corruption (and people who became wealthy through corrupton), and the CCP are just bad at a lot of things in many ways. Do not put them on a pedestal! Would you put Mike Pence or George W. Bush or Simon Bridges or Andrew Little on a pedestal?

Also, CCP and PRC don't speak for all Chinese. And don't insist on receiving respect. It might not be forthcoming. You haven't earned it. In fact, your history precludes it.

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FWIW, disambiguate:

I tend to be pretty honest.
In particular, I don’t like telling a bare faced lie. I pretty much don’t do it. And I don’t like deliberately misleading or deceiving people.

I try fairly hard to avoid speaking deliberate mistruths.

This is in reference to speaking the words “I don’t want sex ever”, because that would have been a barefaced lie. I don’t lie (or almost never). I was supposed to say “I don’t want sex” to end the game (this is ages back), but I wasn’t willing to. I will explain it better later.

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Just ideas:

Education lol


Not all schooling is education. And not all education is schooling.

One:

You can just become a lifelong reader. Like between twenty minutes and two hours per day. And make sure you have a book shelf with books on it. And becomes the type of person that visits and browses bookshops for pleasure and buys books to put on the shelf. And visits libraries to borrow 20 books. Because no one can afford infinite books, and libraries force you into contact with books you might otherwise not notice.

Two:

Also, you can become a lifelong learner. For example, get lectures from the great courses and do one per day for a period of six months. Or, get into something like ceramics, art, sewing/textiles, or woodwork, piano, wood turning or coding. And then get back to the great courses stuff. Or sometimes do formal education for a bit. And then get back to just doing lectures from online. But always be doing something. Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. And just because you are not academically or intellectually brilliant (or were not in school) doesn't mean that you can't learn a lot, or be a lifelong learner. Just include both "cerebral" stuff, and hands on stuff. “Practical” and “cerebral”. Stuff like history of Japan or history of India are good great courses. Old English Literature: Language as History from the great courses looks good as well. It is on my “to read” list. History of science and history or the Industrial Revolution are good also. 

There is more than one way to do things, and sometimes you have to figure out your own path in life.

Ps: aphoristic wisdom literature is good too. Proverbs is a good book. As is Ecclesiastes. Job is okay also. Wisdom literature is its own thing though; it needs interpretation.

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I picked up tripartite model of soul from church sermons. But also maybe cs lewis lol?

Talk later.

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On the theoretical possibility of catastrophic design failure 





Invention Through Design book by Petroski
Design through failure
Success through failure book by Henry Petroski
Structures book by J.E. Gordon
Six Easy Pieces book by Feynman (I dislike this book, it is too easy)
Isambard Kingdom Brunel by L.T.C. Rolt (maybe, or similar)

An understanding of basic wave physics may also be nice, or helpful (although I’m a bit rusty!). Stuff like faraday, Newton, Rutherford. Or like basic 6th and 7th form physics might be helpful.

See it as an analogy…

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Issues

Psychology
Too much reliance on technology (without understanding the underlying science)
Poor understanding of “consciousness”, and the development of “human-ness” as it relates to consciousness.

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The creation of the western mind and the fabric of the western intellectual reality:

The ideological(?), knowledge creation institutes or whatever of Oxbridge.. they were kinda just Bible schools, sort of? Excessive simplification. The foundation of china thought was Confucious and Mencius. We were based on Bible schools, who later "rediscovered" the "classics".


Massive over simplification. But yeah.

Bible schools, rediscovery of classics. Translation of the classics like Iliad in boarding school.

See: William Kirby of Harvard, White Feather by P.G. Wodehouse (a fair bit in it about the translation of the classics). Some church history is good too.

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Disambiguate and/or clarification:

PE: I was able to do the “beep test” in school, in running. (I still hated jogging and cross country though). Also, I could do an ordinary rope climb in school. Age 13/14ish.

I have added this because people may have ended up with the incorrect (or an incomplete) impression of me and my life.

Nothing special.

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Clarification: 

I used to be a massive video gaming addict (enthusiast?). I would rather playing video games than day dreaming boxing. I just look at boxing videos online to keep myself sane. Okay?

I just day-dream about boxing and martial arts to stay sane.

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Disambiguate:

Chinese Women


Chinese women are beautiful too. As well as being “hot”, “pretty”, “cute”, or otherwise physically attractive.

The context: I was misquoted and misrepresented.

Clarification: Chinese women are beautiful too.

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Define:

Epistemology


The theory of knowledge, especially with regard to its methods, validity, and scope, and the distinction between justified belief and opinion.

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Disambiguate:

Epistemology


I learned about epistemology in university, including a few books about the scientific method.

Ummm. There is more. But I don’t want to over explain.

I learned a fair bit of epistemology within and via other subjects. As well as wide reading.

This section is understated.

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I learned a fair bit about the theory of using, creating and interpreting knowledge?

I can’t make it easier or clearer than that.

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They wanted me to have a bunch of kids. Or so I thought. But I don’t want to have a bunch of kids with them. Not really. I think kids deserve better mothers.

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Group think => forgot fundamental laws of physics exist?
And sociology, replicable patterns?

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I’m being helpful here:

Bad at:
Psychology 
Physics
Education, especially religious education
Mind-body stuff
Sociology
Video game design, biggest one

By design:
Language (although they know this) and philosophy - by design. Especially philology.

Just like:
In the past bad at metallurgy, biology (botany), economics (aka political economy), sociology. Bad results. Very sad.

Anyway, I just read a spare speech of Mao Zedong, it was really interesting. Here: https://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/mao/selected-works/volume-8/mswv8_34.htm

Ummm. The book: Mao, the unknown story is still good. It gives colour and helps people to understand the dangers of totalitarian societies. Stuff like ma, the unknown story help to inoculate people against low quality thinking. And also the other readings I have suggested are really good.

After that, the three lecture series (disease is so important) I suggested are still useful. And writings about biographies of scientists and inventors. And some history about things like “the old left”, especially the non Marxist left. And silly things like tulip mania etc.

At this point though, I need some rest.

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Read that hideous strength by CS Lewis, as well as the space trilogy. As well as the dark tower and other stories. And if you understand the milieu (ie, you are already educators and read a lot, and pay attention to foreign language works), you might find a few things out. It is too hard to explain by mere assertion. But it is there. That hideous strength was published in 1945. B4 it was known if Mao or Chiang was going to win… before the Great Leap Forward and the 30 million killed, before the massacres of the cultural revolution…

That Hideous Strength
Dark tower and other stories
Maybe space trilogy
Ummm. The abolition of man is deliberately unreadable, it is like.. a mind bork to prevent investigation? But is worth studying, and reverse engineering. It is fake news

The Oxbridge set has the milieu they inhabited had plans for the Chinese nation from before a lot of you were born. Pay attention to it.

Just being helpful….

Note: other things spoken about by CS Lewis.

How the methods of brainwashing pioneered and used by the basis can be used again, and how it a learned and understood science.

How sociopathic a secret society might have to be if they wanted to re engineer civilisation in order to survive and make it to space.

That the switch from academics using social sciences and scientific control of society to direct (oligarchic) control happens in 2020iah.

See also Tolkein, Lewis, and the land of fae. And their friendship. Chesterton and Hillaire Belloc might be worth looking at this is for the minority, not the majority.

Ps: cs Lewis and Tolkein were keen on philology. This is more important (along with language itself) than philosophy. I reckon.

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Blue sky thinking


Just another spitballed idea. Just ideas...

Every town builds a sheltered zone. A location with 500 shipping containers spread out. A special privacy zone. A sanctuary city outside the city. Anyone can flee there to be sheltered. It is a sanctuary city hidden by a faraday invisibility cloak.

Every town over 20000 inhabitants has one. It is built using charitable money. And people stay there in vans or tents or RVs. Who knows how they manage? It might actually be really chaotic. Piping in water, and waste out, isn't that hard.

It is like Jamaicans or other Caribbean dwellers fleeing to the forest interior of their island to escape control of the colonists.

For more discussion:

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2025/08/archive.html


Places where one might try it (just for inspiration):

Geelong             157,103
Cairns                144,733
Darwin                118,452
Toowoomba             100,032
Ballarat              93,761
Bendigo              92,384
Maitland (NSW)        78,019
Mackay                 75,704
Launceston           75,328
Bunbury              71,094
Rockhampton           61,213
Gold Coast            59,780
Melton                 54,455
Hervey Bay           52,075
Bundaberg              50,150
Wagga Wagga           48,263
Coffs Harbour        48,221
Albury - Wodonga      47,971
Shepparton           46,194
Port Macquarie        44,811
Orange                 37,181
Canberra (part of it) 36,347
Albury - Wodonga.     35,131
Sunbury              34,425
Dubbo                 34,335
Tamworth              33,882
Bathurst              33,581
Mildura - Buronga     33,445
Gladstone              33,417
Geraldton              31,978
Nowra - Bomaderry     30,856
Warrnambool           30,707
Kalgoorlie - Boulder  29,869
Albany                 29,369
Blue Mountains        29,320
Lismore              27,570
Gawler                 26,470
Mount Gambier        26,148
Traralgon              25,482
Busselton              25,325
Alice Springs        23,728
Devonport              23,044
Goulburn              22,416
Maryborough (Qld)     22,205
Cessnock              21,723
Whyalla              21,505
Bowral - Mittagong     21,397
Armidale              20,391
Forster - Tuncurry     19,918
Burnie - Somerset     19,388
Griffith              18,878
Morisset - Cooranbong  18,741
Wangaratta           18,567

Btw, I deliberately obfuscate some of my ideas, and leave them vague, and here to follow. These are just here for inspiration.

_Sanctuary city for electromagnetic refugees_

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Disambiguate:

Evil Women


Evil is not a turn on. Evil is a massive turn off.

Note: I have provided you with information, I’m not arguing here. I have also added this to the grab bag. I don’t feel like explaining fully either.

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For people who like movies, “The Producers” by Mel Brooks is fun. I don’t know if it translates well into other languages, but it is a fun movie.

There are a few parallels to my life, the connection is tenuous, but it is still a good one to watch. Just for fun. It’ll be available on netflix, or equivalent.

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This looks really nice:


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Mao won in the war against the Chinese sparrow population. Wikipedia.

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King Canute was a wise king, who use the object lesson of the tide coming in to explain to others that he has no power over the elements themselves. Wikipedia.


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The voices in my head are labouring under the illusion that we are having an actual conversation. Often I am just ruminating, and people join in. Or the AI joins in.

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Sometimes I play devils advocate.

I am uber blunt with what I say inside my own head, but often (usually) try to be really tactful face to face. It depends, but there is a big difference.

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Today’s reading:


The whole thing is worth reading.

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Xi Jinping was 15 years old at the time, his father was 54.

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Background


I spent a bit of time reading about American fitness culture some years back. I read about the history, I read a bunch of hucksters’ blogs, and listened to a bunch of podcasts. Many, many podcasts. And I was fascinated by it. I think it sounds hilarious. I also have read a bit about it in PG Wodehouse. Last but not least, I have read about training methods in MMA or western martial arts. But also learned a bit about Chinese fitness practises and TCMA. I also even looked back at weird things like banting and other diet fads.

And the whole field is weird, wonderful and hilarious.

*

I am kind of fascinated by mountebanks, charlatans and hucksters.

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Potential action steps for them:

Apologise
Commit to a process of de-escalation
Be nice to me
Restore my health to me
Remove me from “wifi”, so that they can stop broadcasting my thoughts
Politely ask me to talk less online


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Here is one account of it…?

I didn’t want to play their games in the first place. I tried to reconcile many times. They wouldn’t even communicate? And then pushed me to play their games. Eventually I won according to their rules. And I also was declared to be the winner according to their rules.

But then they backed out of it in a dishonest manner. I later did a quick public brainstorming session on a few issues, publishing my stuff online on a blog.

I have made numerous offers of being willing to come to the table for a process by which we can create peace and reconciliation. Or suggested a process of de escalation. But they don’t even communicate properly?

I explained much of this stuff elsewhere.

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draft:

Philosophy is like the culture of a thinking. Or a particular set of cultural norms and behaviours surrounding the techniques and practises of thought in a particular society? It is like tradition? In the area of styles and techniques of thought?

It can be useful to simply learn the culture and norms, so that you can engage in appropriate patterns of thinking.

Don't read too much into it.

Ps: I grew up thinking that philosophy was nonsense and garbage. I was hyper Christian. I read a ton of Christian stuff. Philosophy was secular lies, and I didn’t need it lol. Or so I thought.


Note: art, science, culture and tradition of thought and thinking. That is a potential reframe.

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Run away screaming like a little girl


Umm. No I just wanted to escape from the most horrible people I could imagine, and people who had hurt me so much. That was what used to believe. Changed my opinion since. I wanted to run away and start again.

Draft:

When one experiences the years 2016-2022, one’s consciousness changes quite a lot.

Actual “consciousness” changes. I.e., inner working of mind, and also some mind-body stuff

*

Outlook on life:

Also the experiences of 2007-2016 change one’s outlook on life, especially that of losing one’s health without understanding why, and having both family and doctors insinuate that it was “all in your head”.

For the record, Amanda always believed me when I claimed I was genuinely physically unwell (with one single exception, in 2022). Many other people did not. From my point of view, she stood by me for years.

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Lead poisoning


What if your society used less to sweeten wine, or less in pipes, and your nobles drink too much wine.


Read the whole page. Seriously. It is a huge issue in Roman history. Ps: read between the lines, there is a bit of double speak in that article.


*

Maybe certain changes in culture, including people being connected to wifi, have resulted in an “elite” who are the equivalent of lead poisoning patients. Metaphorically, analogy, whatever.


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Brain, consciousness, culture, reason, EQ
Critical thinking skills, basic good judgment

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Quality” in the area of thinking


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No moving parts 


A good short story to read:


The story is called “no moving parts”, it is about a space ship where the people flying it don’t t know how to modify, service or repair it.

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Our society’s geeks and politicos installed a computer system that they themselves don’t have full control over. That is a huge and mind boggling example of stupidity. I wouldn’t have done it. I’d just say no.


Dumb.

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Maybe I should not use the word "skill issue" or "competence issue"


Instead of skill issue, maybe use the words "significant gaps in education and learning, particularly in history, geography, science and technology. Particularly in areas such as the history of the industrial revolutions, history of science and history of medicine, and history of technology. Also, the history of the second Industrial Revolution is good. As well as chemical engineering and agriculture.

Fundamentals in science education, statistics, and mathematics are lacking in some ways. And when they are not, the material is often taught by rote. There is lack of creativity, or genuine intuitive understanding. There is a lack of multidisciplinary understanding and ability to apply things (eg history, geography, economics, accounting). Umm. Basic laws of physics exist. Also, science fiction and imagination are incredibly important. Without imagination, what can we do? What do we have?

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Leaving


One of the biggest problems with the USSR was the brain drain, and that people kept leaving and trying to leave. And also that countries kept trying to leave, but they were not allowed to leave.

Leaving was kinda banned in some ways.

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Sometimes laughter is the best medicine!!!1 🤣



This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What should we do if the Western borders of the USSR were opened?”

We’re answering: “Rush to Siberia at once in order not to be crushed in the stampede.”

Explanation: all of the people of the capitalist west will be struggling to get into our society!!!

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This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “Will the police still exist when communism is built?”

We’re answering: “Of course, not. By that time, all citizens will have learned how to arrest themselves.”

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This is Armenian Radio; our listeners asked us: “What is a Soviet musical duet?”

We’re answering: “It's a musical quartet after a trip abroad.”


Ps: I chose a deliberately silly heading

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History… ussr and leaving 


Where can you flee to, and how can you escape, if you want to leave the USSR? You do know that they closed the borders, right?

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If you want to flee across the border to the west??

No, the border between East and West Germany was not open during the Cold War; East Germany (GDR) closed the border in 1952, and further tightened restrictions led to the construction of the Berlin Wall in 1961, which sealed off the last escape route through Berlin and physically divided the city and the nation. While there were severe restrictions on East German citizens' movement, crossing the border was a dangerous undertaking, characterized by fortifications, minefields, and border guards who would shoot to kill to prevent people from fleeing.

Initial Border Closures
1952: The East German government closed the inner-German border to the West, citing rising Cold War tensions and an effort to prevent a mass exodus of skilled labor. 

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You can’t easily flee China during the cultural revolution. People drowned swimming to Hong Kong to escape. The borders were closed iirc.

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The Gypsies, Jews, and Poles (iirc) why did they not leave Germany in ww2? Some did, but not all were able to leave. My history is patchy here…

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Both Hungary and Czechoslovakia tried to leave the USSR, and were disallowed. This created a chilling effect on those who wished to leave the Union. It was technically a war (the Cold War), but it lasted 44 years…

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How can one seek refuge in the current world situation?

Ps: Stalin killed more Russian peasants in his agricultural reorganisation than Hitler killed of Gypsies, Jews and Poles in the death camps iirc. And Mao’s death toll was worse than both of those combined.

PPS: humour might be the best way to deal with it (the world) lol, just look at the jokes pages up above. The second beat way is to just study history. You actually can just choose to study history. 8-12 lecture series. You can actually just do 12 lecture series in a year, in history. And then you did it. It’s like a one off in your life. It is an option, without compulsion, lol. [Or some people prefer books. I think both are good.]

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Matthew used to pull the wings and legs off of flies.

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Ummmm. If you can criticise the English for the East India Trading Company, and destroying India. Then you should be able to criticise gays for ruining Africa by spreading aids.

Respect for msm (men who have sex with men) aka homosexuals means being willing to criticise them as though they aren't as fragile as fine China.

Besides, the gays who did it are literally dead. From hiv/aids. And younger gay people have learned from many the lessons of the past.

Moderate criticism is okay.

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Mass manufactured: how many model t fords were made? How many subdivisions were put up in the 70s in nz and Australia? Things can be done en masse once the technology and designs are understood lol. Think mass. One is silly, 100s makes sense lol. 1000s is just about right.

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I don’t know why they can’t just de escalate though?

A triumph of ideology over pragmatism.

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Just because something is esoteric, doesn’t mean that it is any good. It just means that it hidden or obscure. Same with occult. Hidden and/or secret, but not always very useful or worthwhile. Secrecy doesn’t alway imply quality.

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Idk if this helps, but sometimes people speculate on new fangled technology..

In the 1920s radio was the hot technology and the stock prices of associated companies soared. The poster child was the Radio Company of America (RCA), whose price rose from $43 a share in 1926 to a peak of $568 in September 1929, with a P/E ratio of 72. And crashed to about $10.

[The stock price fell from a high of $115 in September 1929 to $2.6 by May 1932, a 98% decline. Prices seem to vary??! Update later]






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P.G. Wodehouse books are amazing. They give colour on a comedic version of the old world that used to exist. Like "love among the chickens", or "the white feather". Or the "great white hope" (lampooning busy body eugenics botherers and hygiene wonks). Of all of his lampooning of diet faddists and socialists. He also talks a lot about “physical culture”, exercise, boxing, sports and physics development. It takes you back to the past. Psmith is popular too, leave it to psmith. A damsel in distress is a good one. Uneasy money is fun too.

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Mark Twain gives you colour on pre revolution USA. See Huckleberry Finn and Tom Sawyer. It changes people’s views on different modes of civilisation?

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Umm. My world view was shaped a bit by Wodehouse. He is fun. Twain was good in Huckleberry Finn.


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Bull or bear


Imagine being 36 years old, in March 1987, and being told by your friends that you ought to invest your life savings heavily into the New Zealand stock market. And then you buy and hold. But you don't know what is just around the corner.

Imagine being a silicon valley employee and being paid in stock options in pet.com. Thinking that you are doing well, and even paying taxes on your options!

Imagine being a Dutch merchant, and investing heavily in tulips, because the market can only ever go up.

It is a bit heavy handed, but you get the picture? I am being told that I am being scammed. But I don't know... maybe the “billion dollars” isn’t all that it seems? And my physical wellbeing plays into it as well.

I didn’t word this section well at all though.

It is credit at the company store!!!!! Company scrip!!!! Company expense account!!!! Not money!!!! And it cannot be exchanged for hard cash!!!!

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The above section helps to explain why I don’t have a ton of confidence in the money thing? And why I wasn’t hyper enthusiastic about it. “The cake is a lie” after all.

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Silver trade. An important part of history.

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See also: the transition from the Ming dynasty (Han) to the Qing dynasty (Jurchen/Manchu). This was somewhat related to the introduction of paper money.


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Draft:

This is uber slapdash 

People suggest that I might dislike certain groups based on ethnicity, race, nationality etc Ummmm. So to clarify?

China: I respect China, but I don’t have a whole lot of love for their preferred main party, the CCP. Perhaps their academics, intellectuals, business leaders and civil service are better.

Besides, mainland China (PRC) and the CCP is not the be 
-all-and-end-all-of “China”. The people of Singapore, Taiwan (republic of China), the Chinese of places like Malaysia. or Han chinese who moved to nz are also Chinese, and worthy of respect.

The history also is fascinating, and the peoples of the “Middle Kingdom” are more than worth reading about. I just never got around to it!! Or I did a bit via William Kirby of Harvard, a fantastic lecturer, but I always wanted to do more!!! 

Are Chinese people cool. Ummm. The median “coolness” of Chinese people is pretty similar to the median coolness of anglos, Germans, French, Americans, Irish, Polynesians or whatever. Indians. Russians. Their leaders suck, but most people aren’t overly fond of politicians or whatever I our own countries.

Ummm. Median means that some are really awesome, some are really, really awful. Some are fun, some are meh. But the normal ones are just fine.


Umm.

Ps: I like to think the best of people

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A very important video about fitness:


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Repost:

I’m not a hivemind guy


I’m just not into it, and I don’t love it

And I just don’t want to do it, I don’t want to share my mind and imagination with other people. I don’t like AI mediated conversations, or having computers with access to my brain. I think that the intermingling of nervous systems is a mistake. I don’t like being attached to “soul twitter” where my words and thoughts are always being critiqued. I don’t even like normal social media. I deleted Facebook years ago (10 yrs?). I don’t like the feeling of being “always on”, or of always being exposed. It’s awful, it’s just horrible. It’s no way for a human being to live. It wears away at my sense of individuality and humanity.

I’m not into it.

I don’t like the collectivist mindset that seems to go along with hive-mind thinking. It is unpleasant, and sometimes very dangerous. If you fail to resonate well with the gestalt group feeling, it can be quite dangerous. Even the wrong style of thinking can be dangerous.

I don’t love it.

Ps: I want to turn off wifi?

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Maybe this is just for the commerce majors….?

You guys keep talking to me about money!!? And how I’m being scammed?? Just a quick history lesson. On what is or is not.

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Money… or a promissory note??


Chinese paper money, especially during the Yuan Dynasty (1260-1368), experienced hyperinflation due to the government financing deficits by printing excessive amounts of paper currency. This over-issuance, a practice followed by preceding dynasties and continued by the Yuan rulers, depleted the currency's value and led to its eventual replacement by more stable silver as the primary medium of exchange.


ahahahaha. Do some digging and reading please on the currency issues and history related to China (aka the “Middle Kingdom”). I like the terms: Han, Mongol, Jurchen/Manchu, Miao, and the “Middle Kingdom”. By the way, the Jurchen and Mongols are horsemen and warriors, and loved to fight with bows on horseback. Where as the Han were more settled and sedentary.

China is weird when it comes to names and ethnicities and races and dynasties though. In some ways, they are political and historical obscurantists.

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See also: economic history of the Ming dynasty: currency tab


Hmmmmmmmmm. Ming (Han dynasty) collapses  because they can’t collect taxes anymore!! Their currency is so screwed up that they can’t use their own currency, and silver supply is fucked. And a rebellion breaks out. Iirc. I need to double check though. The Jurchen (aka Manchu) eventually end up in charge?? But it takes a while. The Han Empire (Ming) falls, in favour of the Jurchen (Manchu).

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Employee Stock Options in the dot com


Stock options in the "dot-com" era gave employees the right to buy company stock at a set price, often attracting top talent to startups by offering a potential stake in the company's growth for a lower upfront salary. While during the late 1990s dot-com boom, options were a major incentive, they often became worthless after the subsequent crash if the company failed, leading to significant financial hardship and tax burdens for employees who had already exercised them. 


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^ this is the most important one 

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See also railway bonds scams in the USA (major part in history) 


Not just that link though

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See also things like theranos lol.

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What is 1 billion dollars in company store credit in an entity that might be insolvent 18 months from now lol. And I can’t withdraw it from the atm 🤣🤪

TLDR; the money might not be worth much in the end, so what of it? I take that into account.



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This is silly lol, but could be a funny idea, just nz

Compulsory retirement at 65


Just spitballing lol, not fighting for it

Mayors, local government councillors, community board members, members of parliament, public sector CEOs and public sector directorships.

Local government ceo and other c level executives gone at 65.

Also: educational institutions registered With TEC, NZQA, MSD and able to receive funding for students via the student loan scheme or student allowance, their boards of directors must be 65 or under. This includes all universities and wanangas and pacifica educational institutions etc.

Universities: vice chancellor should retire at 65, university council no one over 65. Chief executive officer retires at 65.

Note: Probably military and possibly police should have retirement at age 65 also. But maybe different rules.

TLDR: politicians at parliament and local government. And governance roles in public sector, and university councils, and c level executives in public sector. But people not in executive roles shouldn’t necessarily be pushed out. We have anti ageist rules in nz lol, in law!?

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Note:

Maybe start by repealing human rights act 1993 act 21 part (i), link

And then introduce some fun stuff by direct democracy (if we had it ahahahahhahaha). But never mind for now.

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Ps: look as Isaac Newton, best intellectual year was at age 23 lol, why do we imagine that people are still firing at all cylinders at age 70!!??!

PPS: check out the book “napoleon of Notting hill” by gk chesterton. I have heard it called one of the most important books of our era. Link

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This page is good, and worth looking at:

It talks about my education, university lectures, books, audio content.


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Suzuka


Su-metal is Japanese Katy Perry to me. She does cheesy, catchy pop-metal music, and it is fun, trashy garbage! Just like eating a McChicken Burger with Fries and a Chocolate Shake.

I like a bit of trashy garbage when it comes to music!! I love it. But just because I like listening to someone's pop music, it doesn't mean that I need to sleep with them!

She isn't special to me! And never was! She shagged my Dad for ages because she was duped into thinking she was special to me!

Note: // political correctness incoming: I do not say any of this to denigrate her talent or ability. She is a talented pop-metal performer, and is capable of delivering a good consumer product experience (sorry, clunky use of language) either in a recording on spotify, or in a live venue. She is also aesthetically pleasing (aka, pretty, or physically attractive). And she seems likeable and smart! // political correctness over

Note 2: kind of being generous, maybe kinda like green day (a bit of a stretch, but okay), or the Monkees (nuanced conversation, but don’t worry about it)?

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Misc


As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. Proverbs 26:11

Those who fail to learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them.


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If you correct conceited people, you will only be insulted. If you reprimand evil people, you will only get hurt. Never correct conceited people; they will hate you for it. But if you correct the wise, they will respect you.

Proverbs 9:7-8

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Proverbs 27:6

Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. Proverbs 27:6

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Then read proverbs chapter one, link.

From conversation:

Lack of integrity is often unwise.

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They declared me victorious? But keep hurting me!?!?! Maybe see the microblog??

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Background


The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
Famous Five
Secret Seven
Swallows and Amazons
Adventure Series - Willard Price
Roald Dahl, many
White Fang
Gentle Ben, a particular favourite of mine. Compassion and understanding.

Fun books I liked as a child, just for understanding my character/nature. See it as background.

We were talking about toads lol 

Also PG Wodehouse is great

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Epistemology


I have studied some epistemology, both at university and outside of it.

Including some epistemology relating to statistics. And also studied a bit about the scientific method/s.

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Day dreaming up ideas


Da Vinci liked brain storming and coming up with ideas that he sketched in the margins of his notebooks. I like doing similar things too. Sometimes the ideas I have are politically incorrect (like machines of war). Or sometimes the ideas are related to sociology, economics, and the structure of civilisation. I do it for fun and relaxation.
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Ummm. They could have solved it with the following idea: give me a tidy house in the country to live in. Turn off "wifi", and then leave me alone for five years. I get food delivered. Like a human time capsule for five years. I suggested it multiple times in the past.

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Lulz, our leaders entrusted the governance of our society and the future of our civilisation to a computer game. A game that is subject to the basic laws of physics?

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I am more than willing to de escalate. Can we come to the table for de-escalation talks.

All they have to do is be nice to me for about 24 hours, and then ask me nicely. 

And then I can conceal pages until they stop being nice again…

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FWIW, lectures like this are incredibly important. They shaped my world view so much.

In the Western world, we remade our whole societies, and the built structure of them, in response to disease. The lecture is about sanitation and disease.

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AIDs and the Sexual Revolution in the USA


Sexual liberation and the gay rights movement in the USA caused the aids epidemic, which then jumped back to Africa, which killed the continent for a generation or two. The system obviously hates the global south. AIDS wouldn’t (and couldn’t) have destroyed Africa if it weren’t for USA (and international) gays who kept on having sex no matter what, no condoms, in giant gay orgies. Just study the history. Put in the work. Study statistics and the epistemology of science first. Then the history of epidemic disease, then aids in particular. I can’t spoon feed you, just get the education. The system not only doesn’t care about you, but is inept. And Africans aren’t as dumb as you think when they are acting like “bigots”. Learn basic history lol.

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Africa:
Used needles were a vector for disease spread. Also, tainted blood.
Gay men, and married men on the “down low” spread a lot of disease too. Heterosexual transmission spread a lot, but mostly at the last mile, maybe. Learn basic statistics, and basic epidemiology. I came at it with a background in economics and accounting and a lot of history, some study in the epistemology of science. And I had education (and natural talent) in math/statistics. But dumb people, who happen to be white (Baizuo), shut their minds to it. This segment is for dumb white people (educated but dumb).

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I also read that in New Zealand that reuse of speculum in suspected sex workers spread venereal disease in the past. Read it in rad fem literature. Early 20th century.

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Add to that Tuskegee?? See the Yale lecture series I keep on recommending. We covered both HIV/AIDS and Tuskegee in the Yale lectures.

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I suffered a long term electronic illness. And my (many) doctors lied to me. It caused to suffer a lot, until I couldn’t even walk down the street. Why should I trust doctors, or medical authorities? Why should anyone?

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Why should I have the slightest hint of respect for authority? Or any of you?

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Add Semmelweis into this?

Or thalidomide? (Find a documentary for this one in bbc world service maybe?)

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I got sick at age 18, and haven’t been well since. I lost my ability to exercise properly. At least I should say that my recovery capacity vanished. I couldn’t recover from basic exercise, whether it be jogging, swimming, gym, martial arts classes, or I even tried yoga classes. I couldn’t do anything. It was awful.

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C.S. Lewis


C.S. Lewis told me it was coming in 2020, in a number of works written about 80 years ago? The takeover of direct control as opposed to university guidance. With the Han being used as a cats paw (that hideous strength 1945). And also my father told me about it at age 10, with the Noah’s starship story (about oil).

See also dark tower, space trilogy, abolition of man. And a few other things. I forget which. Some other short stories are also relevant.

Sorry, this segment is messy.

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Imagination


Additional note: I use my imagination, and brain storming, and coming up with ideas, and day dreaming, and thinking about things to keep myself occupied and sane. Some people would think about home, or a loved one. Instead of that, I might think about cats, gardens, sports (martial arts), video games, or planning out hypotheticals just as a way to keep myself sane.

I use my own thoughts, including while “talking” to the fae just as a distraction to keep myself sane. Distract from the pain/suffering lol. And then I get quote mined. A lot of it is deliberately nonsensical, just to keep myself going. But people quote mine it to make me look deranged, or that I am not lucid.

My imagination is a tool that I use, and an enjoyable and comfortable space that I inhabit.i am really comfortable inside my own head a lot do the time. I am really comfy chilling out inside my own imagination lol.

Added: I am an obligate day dreamer. I have to day dream. It is in my nature.


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Story



A fun story about using technology that you don’t understand.

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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. - Arthur C. Clarke

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Dark Forest Hypothesis


Smaller countries stay hidden, fly beneath the radar. The world is full of smaller players that fly beneath the radar. It isn’t just China and America. East and West.


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We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.
Kurt Vonnegut

Umm. These people are playing a game of zombies. They play dumb and act ignorant. Umm. But if you pretend to be dumb, then maybe you are, or become, dumb?

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By the way, some of the quotes mined from me are from conversations where we were discussing semantics.

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Repost

Between bluff and today


Between Bluff (14th March) and today (15th August), (five months) I experienced an enormous amount of physical mistreatment, a great deal of pain and suffering, and incurred severe and lasting physical damage.

Exact definitions (i.e. torture, or torment, or cruel and unusual punishment) can be tricky within this philosophical (semantic/philological/linguistic/etymological) environment. But it has been pretty severe.

Also, maybe they are doing this to cover their arses regarding what happened from 2016 to 2022.

I am deliberately vague about what/who "they" are. But try thinking of it in terms of the business syndicate + friends/associates. See the syndicate post for more information. Paul, Xi, Siobhan, Brynn, Joseph, Matthew, Amanda, Anna, Clare, Sarah; others involved but not core members: Wu Lei, Way, Jesse, etc. also, Modi and George W Bush. John Key’s wife Bronagh.

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Misc



^ I need to read about this one


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Mao, the unknown story, by Jung Chang

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Three Body Problem, Cixin Liu

Red guard, missing arm, three body problem book.

Tang Hongjing

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Proverbs 1, choice. Free to choose.

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Cultural Anthropology and/or religion



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Ranting



I rant so much, and about so many things, and for so many years, and I play devils advocate so readily, that I can be quoted as believing almost anything. And be made to look like a total psycho. I could be accused of being all sorts of things. 

Sometimes I could have been viewed as a radical socialist, libertarian nut job, Christian fundamentalist, nationalist, hyper capitalist extremist, or mega anti totalitarian.  Or massively sympathetic to the old left of NZ (inspired by people like the chartists, more then Marxists - shout out to Chris Trotter for teaching me about that one).It just depends on when/where I am in life. At certain points in my life I have been in favour of many things, and have said many things.

Ummm. I rant a lot. Over the years. And have said many things lol. Sometimes I argue both sides in my head, or even out loud.

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Banter

My father trained me to be a bit of a smart alec when I was young. We enjoyed clever, slightly combative banter. My mother was part of it too. It was just the way our family was! It was normal.

It was a normal part of Kiwi culture at the time.

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Who has the most oil reserves?



What would have happened to global socialism if Venezuela had been a more functioning society? Who ruined it by the way?

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Dot com stock bubble


See also:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pets.com

Example of the dot com bubble bursting.

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One interesting aspect of history:

In Han Dynasty China, Bisexuality Was the Norm


So tender was Emperor Ai’s love for his “male companion” that, when he had to get up, instead of waking his lover, he cut off the sleeve of his robe.

A Time of Acceptance


According to medical anthropologist Vincent E. Gil, writing in the Journal of Sex Research, China had “a long history of dynastic homosexuality” before the Revolution of 1949, with “courtly love among rulers and subjects of the same sex being elevated to noble virtues.” He says that the surviving literature from that time period in China “indicates that homosexuality was accepted by the royal courts and its custom widespread among the nobility.”

Oppression of the Han by the Jurchen (aka Manchu) and Mongols


Later there were the draconian law codes imposed on China by the Mongols and the Jurchen (Manchus), which made homosexuality and certain other forms of extramarital sex serious criminal offenses.


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Ps: a lot of people conflate the Manchu with the Han, so I prefer to use the term Jurchen instead. Another name for the Jurchen empire is the Qing dynasty (pronounced king).

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They kept asking me, what do you want…?


But I don’t like the word want (in this context), so I will use the word desire. The word “want” has been misused over the past couple of years.

I desired reconciliation and peace, and was willing to negotiate for it, but wasn't allowed to even have the conversation properly. This is since my time at 6 Raine Street, six weeks in. Was it 2023? I wasn’t even allowed to really have the conversation, let alone negotiate. And so we haven’t been able to have peace and reconciliation.

I also wanted my health back. In fact, the main thing that I have wanted in my life since age 18 is to have my health back.

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Fun reading


The Dark Tower is good, by C.S. Lewis. And it is really short. It was one of his unfinished works. It is great for the Christian audience. And it is just a really fun short story. He’s a better writer than people give him credit for. It is better than many of his novels.


The rest are good too. The shoddy lands, ministering angels. I like shoddy lands most of all, followed by ministering angels, and then the dark tower. I am a huge CS Lewis fan.

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Dot.Con: How America Lost Its Mind and Money in the Internet Era - John Cassidy, link


Tulipomania: The Story of the World's Most Coveted Flower & the Extraordinary Passions It Aroused - Mike Dash, link


Escape by Jessop and Palmer (a book about leaving the cult FLDS). wikipedia, book

Moral of that story: there are drab old white men who will do anything to gain access to sex with, and control over, young white women. Some parallels can be drawn with our current society.


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When I say “don’t worry women, the cheque is in the mail”


Is a lot of what is going on in society reminiscent of the dot com bubble or tulip mania. I.e. are people getting paid in stock options that will never vest? Are they getting paid in company stock, instead of cash? Or speculating wildly on assets that will never really pay off. This fae “money” might not be a good investment…


If people read those two books, their brains might start working better. Remember kids, you can always trust American corporations, and wonton financial speculation always pays off!



Note: the counterpoint can be read about in “the intelligent investor” by Benjamin Graham.


Ps: I am trying to help people, not “dominate” them.


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For general education that can lead to good decision making, those three lectures I mentioned are useful (epidemic disease, history of science, history of Industrial Revolution). As are biographies about inventors and scientists. For example, Alchemy of Air by Thomas Hager, or The Frontier Genius of Sir Ernest Rutherford by Richard Reeves. Or a book about Jenner, Pasteur, Mendel, Newton, or Watt.


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Spitballing 


What was public health and diet like under the Jurchen empire, overthrown in 1912 (aka Qing)? Were the Han malnourished for ease of control? Was there too much disease, and not enough food? Did the Han get enough to eat? Were the Jurchen benevolent? Were the Han mistreated by their Jurchen (and mongol) overlords?

By the way, the mongols still has some sway as horse/warrior lords at that time.

Was that why the middle kingdom suffered so badly due to English intervention? And suffered so badly when military intervention happened?

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Btw: Jurchen is a better name for the manchu, who are a seperate race to the Han, and ruled over them for many years.  Qing dynasty is a Manchu empire. That was China back then, the Jurchen empire, aka the Qing dynasty.

Also: define empire



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Analogy:


Monoculture food crops come at a price.
What happens if you create monocultures of the human soul (soul, heart, mind)? See the omnivores dilemma for a discussion of what food monocultures can be associated with..?

The best example of a monoculture food crop is the Irish potato famine:


What if monoculture of the human psyche is created?


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Mystics and Messiahs: Cults and New Religions in American History - Jenkins Phillip

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Fwiw, I grew up in an “accelerated Christian education” school. It was private, and uber Christian. It wasn’t a fancy school either. It was uber budget. Teachers sometimes talked about visions from God, or angels and demons. And demonic possession. We had books about casting out demons in the library. It was kinda wacky in hindsight.

In that milieu:

There were church revival meetings, and miracles supposed to have happened. Like miracle healings. And people talked in tongues.

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You don’t have to do something just because your pseudo religious belief system tells you to, lol. Fae ideology is (and/or) involves a pseudo religious belief system.

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And if anyone tells you that xyz isn’t a religion or a cult, then it probably is lol.

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See also: books like this. Also look into the history of the fundamentalist Latter Day Saints cult (see the back catalogue of “the thinking atheist podcast”. Or other atheist podcasts. I forget which podcasts had really good stories about the Mormon cults. Or just read books about it.) flds had ugly old men exploiting belief for the purpose of gaining access to women’s bodies. Large quantities of female flesh (maybe see if you can find a radical feminist take on this cult). Also, I have a gut feeling that there were ties between Warren Jeffs and American intelligence agencies. But no proof lol.

Maybe find some ex Mormon podcasts discussing the history of the flds.

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Atheist republic is also a good podcast if you are interested in religion. And the experience of leaving it. Academic interest.

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A few atheist podcasts from an ex Muslim point of view, and also an ex Mormon pov are interesting. You learn a lot about reality and belief, and social realities. And human nature.

Action points:

If you want to learn about human nature and the nature of belief, maybe learn about the following:

Ex Muslim podcasts
Ex Mormon podcasts
The flds
The history of cults and “new religious movements” in the USA (read 2-3 books).
And just look at some material about basic southern Baptist style Christianity

It will change or update your point of view lol.

This history (and anthropology!!!!) of religion and belief isn’t staid!!! It is a million types and kinds of crazy and cool. Studying it is really, really fun. And it will blow your mind lol. Especially podcasts about people leaving religion.


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Books like Run baby run by Nicky Cruz are good too, and the dayuma story.


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Just some background for a bit…

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Chinese Language School Students


I lived with Chinese language school students when I was a teenager. They were really cool.

Between both Dad’s household and Mum’s:

Terry, Sun, Dee, Sue, Elaine, Sunny, Max, Wei, Waiman.


All above high school age, except Waiman.

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We also had one Korean student, high school age, Daniel Han. His English was already good though. He was going to Kapiti college.

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We also had two long term Japanese students. A high school age exchange student (AFS), Tomoe Takahashi. And a boarder(?) Hanae Motohashi who was finishing high school in New Zealand. She was borderline a Kiwi in my eyes by that point.

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Also, in Taradale: one (adult) woman, Vinny, short term from Indonesia and two from Brunei. But they were nursing students I think. Doing a bridging course?

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One German teenager, Taras, in Paraparaumu for 6 months. His English was already decent, thick accent.

He was just one year younger than me, along with Daniel Han.

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Other foreign language school students that we associated with were: Ariuna (Mongolian), Aya and Yumi, Emma (Chinese) and Heidi (Chinese). Ummm.

Dad wrote a song for Emma entitled “my beautiful Chinese princess”.

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My Dad married into a Chinese family, and I now have two Chinese half sisters. I have also spent time with my father’s in laws.

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Glynn Periam’s late father Roy was my Nana’s cousin.

The Periam clan are family by blood, as well as family friends. Eileen and Roy had three other children. The other siblings are Colin, Sally and Anne Marie. Nana is good friends with Glynn’s mother Eileen. Eileen is not a blood relative.

My father and Glynn were (and are) long term friends. I saw lots of Glynn growing up.

Glynn was a barefoot, vegetarian hippie.

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That ends the background section.

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This system has created a mono culture…

Sooner or later one country will leave the system of international governance, multi lateral trade deals, including satellite surveillance and the rules of intellectual property. By referendum.

And once one nation-state does it, many refugees will flock there, making it wealthy and prosperous. It will be a mecca for wealthy privacy enthusiasts.

It might be inevitable...

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Dot com company stock options


What if the “money” people are getting is the equivalent of dot com stock options for employees of web companies. Who here remembers to dot com bubble bursting? Ummm. Maybe a lot of the young women making “money” never read about that part of history. One book on the dot com bubble collapsing could change a lot of hearts and minds.


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I need to read about this one lol.

I like Wikipedia, and I love history.


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15 minute ‘crib time’


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Health


Even in university 16 years ago I was experiencing quite significant symptoms, the cause of which I knew not.

I had to drop out.

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Link to a list of lecture series I have listened to:


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[The page I linked to also contains a list of podcasts, radio shows and books that I have consumed (scroll down). A quick 2-3 minutes scroll to the bottom and back is well worthwhile. And this will allow you to see some of my educational background, both formal and informal. I feel like it might help a bit with credibility and legitimacy.]

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Binge listening educational content


Way back in the day, I would sometimes binge listen to large quantities of educational content from shows like BBC Radio 4’s “Thinking Allowed” by Laurie Taylor or “In Our Time” by Melvyn Bragg. I might listen to 50 episodes of a show like Thinking Allowed or In Our Time which I had downloaded from the back catalogue online and out into a playlist. This was a part of my long term education.

I also used to binge listen to content like Hardcore History by Dan Carlin, 99% Invisible by Roman Mars, or Backstory by the American History Guys. I consumed huge quantities of material. Hardcore History does great history on topics such as WW1, Genghis Khan, and the Persian Empire. 99% Invisible is all about design, and Backstory is a good series of history radio shows. These were also a part of my education.

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I also listened to shows like Triangulation by TWiT, an interview show about tech company founders and leaders. I also listened to “Let's make mistakes” by Mule Radio from Mike Monteiro (design industry).

I listened to a huge number of podcasts, and also time shifted radio shows delivered as though they were podcasts.

I love the medium of podcasting.

Radio is good too. 

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My health was so bad back then that I was unemployed and unemployable. So I got an education instead. I could listen to 50 radio shows or podcasts quite comfortably. Or two audio lectures a day. You can do a lot when you are too sick to do anything else.

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Bottom line: I needed stuff to listen to because I was in poor health between 2011 and 2016, so I listened to a lot of podcasts and lectures and radio shows. I used it as an opportunity to get an education.

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In Our Time had topics like the Bedlam asylum, the Poor Laws, the Gin Craze, and John Wesley and Methodism. Or topics such as Bacteriophages, or Aristotle's Biology, or Pascal. Presented in a panel discussion with top academics experts from English Universities.

Thinking Allowed is a sociology podcast. It covers topics such as: South African Land Reform, Sexual Revolutions, Commodification of Water, Gypsy Children and Education, The Sociology of the Hairless Body, Cities and Memory, Cultural Appropriation of Chav culture by gay men, Gentrification in Harlem, Hikikomori, Durkheim and Financial Collapse, Crime and Consumerism.

I consumed a lot of content, okay?

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Education on “leftism”


How did I learn about the “left” and “socialism” in New Zealand.

One Example:

I used to read the blog “Bowalley Road by Chris Trotter”

I read it for years and years. And even read the back catalogue.

It gave me background, colour and history regarding the “old left” in New Zealand. Including the old labour movement. It also served as a jumping off point for me to go delving into the annals of history to learn more about the history. I would read about a part of NZ labour/left history, and then look it up via google, Wikipedia, Brittanica, Wikipedia or other. (This counted for things like socialism, reform policies, protests, war related activism, culture of the old left, working class culture, Labour Party history, nz political history like the neoliberal reforms, housing policy, New Zealand long term development, economic history).

I did also read the standard.co.nz and kiwiblog. Even though I kind of hated them both. And they were also a jumping off point.

I spent a lot of time reading this sort of thing over the years. (I also used notpc, a right libertarian blog as a jumping off point, and the Mises institute blog for a while).

I use blogs and encyclopaedias to great effect.

That is just to give you background on me personally.

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More education (life long learning)


Biographies (and stories) are a great way to learn about  the Industrial Revolution, science and medicine:

Rutherford
Mendel
Faraday
Maxwell
James Watt
Jenner
Pasteur
Alexander Graham Bell
Newton

Other:
The story of Rockefeller and standard oil and the oil industry, including advancements  in the science and technology of the oil refining industry

Umm. Also read up on (have a Quick Look at) the history of the Haber-Bosch process, Frasch-Burton Process

Read the history of Andrew Carnegie, at least once.

// if you enjoy life long learning, here are some ideas and inspiration to get you going, just an example
// do it after the three lectures I already recommended below

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Examples of the type of books you might read:







Isaac Newton, Gleick










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Some people want to have scientific socialism


Aka the scientifically planned and managed society (used to sometimes be called the “planned political economy”

I don’t know that these ideas make sense to me…

***

Firstly I don’t think that it is very scientific:

Scientifically (scientism)
Managed and planned society

“Scientism: thought or expression regarded as characteristic of scientists.
excessive belief in the power of scientific knowledge and techniques.”

David: You end up aping methodologies of science, and language, and the self importance that goes with it. But it isn’t very scientific lol.

Secondly, it isn’t very good socialism, because the people don’t end up owning the stuff:

David: if you want to learn about socialism, and what it really is, look at the history of the labour movement in New Zealand, and the history of the socialist movement in Sweden. And also look at tons of history, including reading old books. They view life differently. Get experience in learning, without looking for pat answers and conclusions and definition.

Thirdly, I think “scientific socialism” aka scientifically planned and managed society is just about being bossy. It is just a different type of management of people. It is just control. Treating people like an engineering problem. It sucks.

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Ummm. They kept my core muscles tightened up for years and years on end. All of 2016-2022. And also tightened 2012-2016…

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Education: years ago I decided that I wanted to undergo a study of civilisation starting from the view point of the Industrial Revolution, along with capitalism and everything associated with it. So I looked at those, and science, and a tiny bit of history of law, and history of trade unions, and some environmental stuff… and it really is a history of the Industrial Revolution combined with capitalism (as its basis) and the things that laid the foundation for it. And the things that exist downstream of it. And then the reactions and solutions to the problems etc. I am pretty slapdash, but I has to find some ways to keep my mind occupied over the years. Particularly during the years of suffering 2016-2022.

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Ummm. I didn’t want to play their games in the first place. But then I won anyway?

Can’t they just leave me alone lol? We can actually de escalate. With time and space I can recover my health, and conceal my blog, and spend time “socialising”.

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Repost from the microblog:


21 July: “Xi Jinping declared me totally victorious, because I shagged Dasha and loved it. It is up to the women of NZ to honour it (the victory).


He also said “Dumb b**** ho’s”. (He called them dumb bitch ho’s.)”

Next, the following women have declared themselves to be mine in perpetuity, to do with as I please. Siobhan, Brynn, Clare, Sarah (lawyer), Angela, Grace.

And Ambika also declared herself mine in perpetuity.

*

Things like these can be found in the microblog, and in the memory stores afaik.

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Just discussion


At one point the word "want" was defined as certain feelings in the lower abdomen.

At other points I took it to mean "what is the genuine desire of your heart and soul?"

And at other points, I believed that for a particular "act" to count towards a win, that I had to "desire it with my heart and soul".

The word want has been mollywangled a lot over the past little while..??!

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Good fundamental understanding of parts of history, sociology, economics, science and general knowledge cause people to lose confidence in Xi, who is the person who has hurt me so badly for no good reason from 2016, and his family tree. Therefore I posted what I posted.

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Update


Note: I just added this comment in later down:

The Great Leap Forward was an attempt to do the Industrial Revolution in fast forward. And it could be used as a case study on how to get it wrong.

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Oil, gas and top soil are finite resources.

PS: topsoil is treated as a finite resource, and often “functions” as one.

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The system wants to rejigger industrial capitalism, and the fruits of the Industrial Revolution, so as to economise long term on finite resources like oil, gas and top soil.

***

That means you can always just learn about…

The history of the Industrial Revolution, the history of science, medicine, sanitation, and disease. Please see the lectures below. Good for ‘oligarchs’ as well as normals.

Action point for NZ ‘oligarchs’ (optional): just learn the stuff. Especially the three lecture series referenced, and both the book on Mao, and the book on NZ history.


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Hi random nz person

Note:

I really like these three lecture series:

Epidemics in Western Society since 1600, Yale, History 234, Frank Snowden, 26 lectures openYale

The Industrial Revolution - Patrick N. Allitt, 36 lectures, Oxford, available through the Great Courses (by Amazon)

Great Scientific Ideas That Changed the World - Steven L. Goldman, 36 lectures, available through the Great Courses (by Amazon).

*

Also good:

The Penguin History of New Zealand by Michael King

Mao: the unknown story by Jung Chang

*

Why study the history of science, medicine, epidemic disease, sanitation, and the Industrial Revolution? It is because too many people have heard the version of history that focuses on the “anti” side of things. But too few have actually understood the fundamental underlying basics that make our society possible. Nor have they any real understanding of what happened when you get the fundamentals wrong. These five works will help people to understand what works, what doesn’t work, and how to tell the difference. They will help you to understand the fundamentals that make our society work.

They will help you to understand how we got to where we are as a society. And this will give you a firmer footing when it comes to deciding where you want to go from here. It will help you to better understand the material basis for civilisation.

It will give you good fundamentals.


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Economics


A tiny bit of economics can help too, especially when it comes to things like understanding the Great Leap Forward, and the problems that came with it. It will also help you understand the issues associated with Stalin’s reign in Russia’s. Any brief into to economics course should do it. People lost their lives because of poor understanding of things like economics (among other things).

PS: the economics of collective agriculture don’t really work that well, in either the USSR or Maoist China. But I can’t explain it now. The Great Leap Forward was an attempt to do the Industrial Revolution in fast forward. And it could be used as a case study on how to get it wrong. But you would actually have to study the material to understand it thoroughly.

PPS: high school economics might be the best and easiest intro to economics, or first year economics at polytechnic or university. But failing that, there are books that might suffice like the undercover economist (Tim harford), freakonomics (Steven Dubner) economics for real people (gene callahan), or Human Action by Mises. Or a textbook. Learning economics is an important thing in life, just like statistics, psychology, accounting, chemistry or computer skills.

PPPs: ummm. Accounting is more important than economics though, as is statistics. Accounting, statistics and economics are like the mirepoix (holy trinity of French cooking) of studying commerce. And the respective histories of science, medicine and the Industrial Revolution are the holy trifecta of understanding the material basis for our society. A thin smear of both philosophy and religion are nice too. But at the end of the day, you can just do the work. 

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I had a business school background.

Read a lot of business school books.

And a religious upbringing.

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Uncle Andy


My Uncle Andy was on the Wellington City Council for 30 years, including three years as mayor. He is now a member of parliament. Wellington is our capital city. His current boss is our Minister of Foreign Affairs.


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Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.

Rumi

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Tulip mania
Dot com bubble
USA Railway stocks

Semmelweis
Children’s crusade
Warren Jeffs, flds
The history of cults in the USA, book

Take a look at these, and it changes hearts and minds. A bit.

And then look at the education lecture series below, they change hearts and minds too (for the nz fae). Once you see the world differently, maybe you treat me differently. Just like when I was young I needed books like Carl Sagan’s Demon Haunted World, and Bart Ehrman’s Misquoting Jesus, the fae in NZ need some of the works I am recommending.


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I just added a few family photos:


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Proponent of, or at least a fan of:


Basic education*
Lifelong learning
Love of reading, books, libraries, bookshops
Enthusiastic self-directed study of history

PS: tertiary education is nice too, but not everything 
PPS: one of my biggest lifelong complains and/or gripes about the education system is that it stifles young people’s natural curiosity and love of learning. And it even makes many of them hate reading.



*Note: “what is basic education” finish up until ncea level 2 or 3. And then get 1-2 years tertiary education at least. Not always university. And not everyone should have to do 7th form. 6th form is really important though. But at least a year of tertiary at either a polytechnic of university is absurdly important!!! If you choose the university track, then that is all good too.

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Pleasure reading for the day




***




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[Ummmm. FWIW, I am anti/opposed to what happened to Ernie.]

***


This is my reading for today, if I can get away with it. Just some basic history reading, just for pleasure.

It gives understanding of things like democratic reform. Working class movements. And rapid social reform movements. And some of the issues that occur when radical violent movements get involved.

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Misc history


In the USSR, the kitchen garden (or podsobnoe khozyaistvo) movement was a state-promoted, yet politically complex, initiative that gained legitimacy during and after World War II, shifting some food production responsibilities to citizens and supplementing the industrialized, often inefficient, collective farm system. While individual plots conflicted with the Stalinist model of large-scale, state-controlled agriculture, the government used propaganda to promote gardening as a patriotic duty and a means to alleviate food shortages caused by war and pre-existing agricultural issues like famine and collectivization struggles. 

Tldr;

The collective agriculture that existed in the USSR was such a clusterfuck that  private, individual plots basically had to work extra hard to pick up the slack and prevent starvation. I can't find good links on it. But I am incredulous that I can't find good links.

Under communism in Russia, the collective farms were a failure, and informal, semi-individual, private, growing operations had to pick up a lot of slack. Kitchen gardens is a misnomer, they were bigger than just a kitchen garden.

Read between the lines a bit, okay?

https://www.huri.harvard.edu/event/engaging-nature-keynote-2023


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Starvation in the USSR


At certain times in the past, there were people dying in the streets of Ukraine by starvation. While simultaneously the USSR was collecting grain and dragging it out of people's house holds by force. Many starved. I will not provide evidence for this, any more than I would provide evidence for the mass deaths that occurred in Germany in the mid 40s, (ie the holocaust).

Ps: response to voice: i wasn't aware that the existence of the holodomor was controversial??!!

PPS:

Ahahahhahahahahahhahahahahaha. Mass deaths from starvation in the holodomor is apparently controversial. Ahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahah. I thought literally everyone knew. Ahahahhahahahahhahaha. Brynn told me it is controversial to talk about it. The Russians starved a bunch of Ukrainians to death in the past (and other people died too). Ahahahhahahahhaha. I thought it was common knowledge. Communal farms = death. Kitchen gardens picked up a lot of slack.) But Russia literally starved Ukrainians to death on purpose, as well. Huge numbers of them. Just do a bit of digging. It isn’t impossible to find at least a bit of information, but it helps if you understand economics and quotas, and how statistics work.

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For the NZ audience:



Just a bit of general history.

*

Another one, just for basic background reading on history.


These are really important things historically.

*

A note on the study of history:

The things that happen in the past reverberate through the future. And while history never truly repeats itself, sometimes it echoes, therefore it is usually wise to read at least a little history every now and then.

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Ummm. Just some vague disambiguation. Still sloppy, redo later.

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Disambiguation begins:

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Things are not always as they seem.


Things are not always as they seem and the picture built up in other people’s minds as to who I am and what I am like (and was like in the past) is false.

This might include things like character, personality, temperament, cognitive functioning, physical wellbeing, beliefs, and  point of view.

In particular, picture built up in people’s minds about how things are for me physically, and have been physically throughout my life, don’t really match up with reality.

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Peace


Over the past few years, I have tried to negotiate an appropriate peace (and/or cease fire, or cessation of conflict) on reasonable terms, but have been unable to do so.

I tried extremely hard to make it happen. That should give you a few hints as to my underlying character and temperament.

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Disambiguate character 


Character: compassionate, reasonable, fair minded. Driven (in some ways), and also absent minded. I bend over backwards to be fair towards other people. And I want to be helpful. Umm. I can be stubborn though.

*

Disambiguate personality 


Personality: I love reading, and I love being immersed in books, and in my imagination. I love non fiction books, and I daydream about non fiction… I think deeply about what I read, and I contemplate things for a long time. I like books such as “the clock of the long now”, “the long earth”, “structures or why things don’t fall down”, I love Pratchett’s Discworld novels and the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. I have loved Pratchett ever since I was 14.

Ummm. Your view of my personality doesn’t have to align with mine. You can disagree. It is fine.

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Disambiguate: mind doesn’t work

Aka clear the air

I have been misrepresented as someone whose mind doesn’t work right now (14th, September). Umm. My mind works. It works okay.

They use techniques like quote mining.

And aggravation, with reaction, plus quote mining.

And also, they get me to ramble about any old topic, then quote mine me. Sometimes I ramble in connection and in tandem with what they say into my head. And I include their words into my rambles, daydreams and thought streams, but I am still capable to thinking non they less. I am deliberately hanging out inside my own head, just to chill. And I am obliged to hang out with their inserted thoughts, and this makes me look like I am saying dumb things. But I am still able to think at the moment.

Or they watch me day dream, and then quote mine me.

Or they watch me watch rubbish on YouTube, like that clip of a father and daughter doing the “dougie”. And then curate that content.

Umm. Bottom line: my mind still works lol.

***

Misrepresented: I have been misrepresented as someone who wanted to be uber boxing guy.  But I am not. I am not uber, weird boxing and martial arts dude. I was a bookish guy. And still am.

I daydream about things like sports (including but not limited to things like boxing, judo, work out routines and other types of physical training) as a comfort thing. I distract myself with daydreams. It is escapism. I escape into a world of my own thoughts, as a way to relax



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Disambiguate: I have been misrepresented as someone who hates everything, including China and capitalism. And nihilistic ally wants to destroy the world?? But nothing could be further from the truth.


This is pretty slapdash but 

The system… is all about the Corporate hegemony as expressed in…

The globalised system of international trade, capital, banking and finance.

And we end up with what I call “the society of the mall”. Which is a society characterised by mass production and mass consumerism, and environmental degradation.

***

The society of the mall is “down stream” of the Industrial Revolution, and its need to expand, grow and find new and bigger markets for its goods.

To understand the society of the mall, you need to go back to the headwaters of this society… and look at the history of the Industrial Revolution, the history of science, the history of medicine and epidemic disease, the history of early modern England, the history of the Middle Ages in Europe, and a little bit about Protestant Christianity, and the history of Christianity. You need to understand a little bit about the history of international trade and shipping, particularly out of England and the USA. (like the history of British ships (wood and then steamers), British railways. And the need for coal ports etc for steamers. Maybe a tiny bit about whaling. And then the history of fuels such as oil. Both refining and extraction. Also, the history of industrial agriculture (including but not limited to mechanisation, the haber process, better door processing and storage, better distribution networks). Umm. lol, you have to learn a tiny bit about extractive industries  like mining and oil as well! As well as refining.

Umm. Yeah. But you can actually learn about a lot of these things from lectures linked to elsewhere on my blog.

I like to look at things, and then make observations.

Ummm. I think that the Industrial Revolution was and is a good thing. And that capitalism is a good thing, in moderation. But I don’t like our hyper consumerist society, or the measures that have been put in place to maintain control and keep the peace (ie avoid chaos). But to do think that the technology of the Industrial Revolution is a necessity. Including the industrial food system (for the foreseeable future). and sanitation and medicine and disease control are made possible by the fruits of the Industrial Revolution.

Note:

I really like these three lecture series:

Epidemics in Western Society since 1600, Yale, History 234, Frank Snowden, 26 lectures openYale

The Industrial Revolution - Patrick N. Allitt, 36 lectures, Oxford, available through the Great Courses (by Amazon)

Great Scientific Ideas That Changed the World - Steven L. Goldman, 36 lectures, available through the Great Courses (by Amazon)

*

I don’t want to explain much. Or talk about China. They are part of the system too.

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Ps: a few updates have been made in the doctors post, near the bottom



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Disambiguation ends

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Why is the Iranian Revolutionary Guard a terrorist organisation, but the CCP is not?


Who has killed more people? Who funded the Khmer Rouge, and how much money were they given? Who started and supported the shining path, and upon whose ideology was it based? Who started the cultural revolution? Who created the red guard movement, and set them loose on the people (in the end, had to be stopped by the red army it was so deranged)? Who caused the second largest famine in all of human history by means of economic mismanagement? Who created the ideological and intellectual landscape that led to the Great Leap Forward and the second largest famine in all of human history?

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Another interesting episode in history. Well worth a careful read:


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// you might treat all of this as a character reference for the CCP and also for Xi and his family tree.

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An interesting episode in history. It perhaps could be viewed alongside things like the tulip mania, or the dot com bubble.




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Update: there actually used to be a country called the “east turkestan republic” back in 1944-1947. It was a USSR satellite state afaik. But Joseph Stalin engaged in a bit of horse trading and it ended up a part of China. I think their leaders died in a plane crash too.

// I just want the women of the clique involved in my life to have a better idea of the history of China and how it works.

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// just one angle lol

Spitballing

The original idea was that David Solt is a mining extractive industry. Xi joined a business partnership in 2016 to brain-wash Paul’s son, break him down, and build him up. So that he can be sold into service to a bunch of lesbian skanks, for reproductive purposes. Once provided with babies, these women will use the children as leverage against David (because David = soft hearted) to create a highly profitable extractive industry. (They even called it oil.). It is worth 12 billion dollars. Or used to be. And will be shared out among members of New Zealand fae.

First step, from 2016-2022 he was kept crippled, miserable, cold, half naked and covered in filth. He was so screwed up that even his senses didn’t quite work properly. [And the senses are so screwed up that it screws up your consciousness.] - added

And then exploited for reproductive purposes (ivf). Arrested by nz police.

And tormented for ages when he just wanted to go back to university?? Deprived of the full use of his legs..

Then tortured by being kept on soft floors.

Then brainwashing using music and threats of punishment and masturbation. And then his father’s voice in his head.

He was allowed to partially recover.

And then chased about town/s etc, but never fully recovered.

Not allowed ever to quit, and then broken down to being a cripple again, in an incredibly horribly way.

And now here he is…?? It’s pretty awful.

Ahahahahahahha.

And then after all this torment dreams up steel chime shelves on ground floor of farm buildings on football pitch to create shelter idea. And is accused of being at war. lol, no. Not at war, just can’t ever stop thinking.

Don’t take it too literally.. lol. It is more suggestive of underlying truths than anything.

Ummmm. And who is curating content to show to the people? Siobhan. Does she stand to gain financially from this?

Ps: I was also being used for propaganda purposes, a publicity stunt. They wanted to use me to showcase their methods of mind control. And show off their psychological control methods “repurposed soul”. But I do t think that it really makes sense to me.

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// the purpose of this section is to reduce the level of confidence in those who have harmed me.

// this segment is like a character reference for Xi and the CCP

Economic history and demography are fun


Western Turkmenistan (aka Xinjiang, aka Uyghur Territory) has large reserves of gas and oil.

***

An article from 1968:

“From 1943 to 1968, nearly 5 million Han Chinese immigrated to Xinjiang (particularly northern Xinjiang, deliberately keeping away from the Uyghur-populated southern Xinjiang) from other parts of China. In 1943, the whole of Sinkiang had 4,300,00 people. Of these, 75 per cent were Uyghurs, 10 per cent were Kazakhs, and only 6 per cent were Chinese. But by last year the Chinese had become the biggest single element in the population, passing the Uyghurs with 44 per cent. Virtually all the 5,000,000 population increase in that time has come from Chinese immigrants.”

I think that the population of Xinjiang was about 10 million in 1969. But I can’t see good figures for it. China flooded the largely minority inhabited area with 5 million Chinese. Doubling the population. They did this to gain long term control of the region which might otherwise push for independence, self governance, or may wish to become a part of a different nation or empire, or other type of union. For example, they may have otherwise wished to join the USSR or Turkmenistan, because the USSR treated Muslim minorities better than China.

As of 2025 the population of West Turkmenistan (Xinjiang) is 25.8 million. 45% Uyghur, 43% Han Chinese, 12% other ethnic groups. In 1943, only 6% of the population of West Turkmenistan (Xinjiang) was Han Chinese.


Here is a link to Wikipedia:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Migration_to_Xinjiang

Scroll down to “people’s republic of China”


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Proven oil reserves:

There are 3 billion barrels of proven oil reserves in Karamay oilfield alone. This is out of China’s total 26 billion proven reserves.

*

Estimated oil:

The Xinjiang province in China’s northwest is monstrously rich in oil and gas. Xinjiang’s oil reserves are massive compared to other oil fields in China. It is a little bit difficult to find good estimates of the quantity of “unproven” oil reserves. But there is a massive amount of oil in Xinjiang.

In addition to conventional oil, large shale oil reserves have also been discovered recently in the region, boosting its status as China's largest natural gas-producing region and a major petroleum and petrochemical base.

Umm. This region is China’s oil, gas and coal zone. That is why they flooded the place with Han Chinese immigrants. You should (or should) double check some of the statistics… both on oil and gas migration..

// Xinjiang is oil country, and it was populated mostly by Muslims, so China flooded it with immigrants to control it. And now oppresses the locals. It is awful. They are just as bad as America when it comes to Muslims and oil.

// I posted this just so that I can discredit the people who mistreat me. And also so that the women of NZ have some idea of that sort of people they are trusting and relying on. They lead with immigration, and then subvert the society, and oppress the locals. It is essentially colonisation of Western Turkmenistan by the Han Chinese. The leadership of the CCP (Eg Xi, have “character issues”, which probably carry over into other aspects of their lives)

// Question: is China a country? Or an empire? And what is the difference? Tibet, Yunnan, Manchuria, East Turkmenistan, Taiwan, Hong Kong may have their own ideas about the difference between a country and an empire.

// country vs empire: a country is a single political unit, while an empire is a collection of varied units unified under a single, dominant external power.

// I would operate with a very low level of trust regarding the CCP if I were a New Zealander.

ps: I prefer the name West Turkmenistan, because it is more respectful of the religious and cultural heritage of the indigenous inhabitants of that region. And yes, Muslims are indigenous peoples too.

PPS: I have studied a tiny bit of the history of the silk road. It is good history to learn!

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China, why did you colonise and oppress the people of East Turkmenistan?

*

If they had independence, and control of their own country, they have enough oil, gas, and coal, to become the Saudi Arabia of Central Asia*.

*

Are the people of Eastern Turkmenistan indigenous people?

Are indigenous people allowed to be Muslims?


*

Ask yourself, dear reader, what does the term “national self determination” mean to you. Link. Or just “google” it.

Woodrow Wilson and Vladimir Lenin were both in favour of this concept. Often as a check against, or a way to guard against imperialism.

*

Also, ask yourself: is China a country, or an empire? This is an academic point.

***

[*Note: not exactly as wealthy in oil as Saudi Arabia, but argument from exaggeration can be useful. They are really, really wealthy in oil and gas. Including stores of untapped oil. Huge huge huge amounts of oil. And fwiw, my grandfather was a historian of the oil industry.]

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Railways 


There were winner and losers when the railways were introduced. Fortunes were won, and fortunes were lost. And there were some shady operators too.




This segment should be read along side the dot com bubble, tulip mania and Semmelweis. That, and the means and methods of talking to people with highly entrenched world views (i.e. when criticised, avoid digging in your heels like a fundamentalist).

And histories of science, disease, medicine, and the Industrial Revolution. Maybe followed by Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett (there is an important sub plot in there about consumerism, shopping centres and inter-dimensional parasite malls).

Umm. I read a couple of books about the railways some years ago. It is worth learning about lol.

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Hi fae syndicate


How to encourage a fae in the nz set known as the syndicate to lose confidence in the system, and therefore the “David scheme”


Tulipomania: The Story of the World's Most Coveted Flower & the Extraordinary Passions It Aroused, book by Mike Dash
Dot com bubble, read a book, any book
Semmelweis, read about him
The Dayuma story, book by Ethel Emily Wallis

Stories of people leaving religion. Especially ex Muslim and ex Mormon conversations and stories.

Stories of people escaping (and interacting) with the FLDs.

Stories of people who participated in the cultural revolution, and regretted it.

You are “functioning” as though you are a fundamentalist. There is a fair bit of a religious vibe to what you do.


[Your beliefs are nonsense. You believe garbage. Just like an unironic Mormon, southern Baptist, or fundamentalist Muslim from 25 years ago. Or like a member of the FLDS. And I am providing you with the means of de-programming yourself.

Your belief set is false. It is not based in reality. You do not have a world view that comports with reality.

Change it.]

Note: there are psychological mechanisms by which people become entrenched in their beliefs when you tell them that their beliefs are garbage. They dig in their heels. Fundamentalists in Christianity or Islam have strongly held belief, and fae ideologues have strongly held beliefs. It sucks.

Please do not dig in your heels when someone tells you that you lacks a reality based on world view. Instead, engage the “slow thinking” part of your brain (see thinking fast and slow). And ask yourself, if I had a world view that was false, and strongly held beliefs that were harmful to me (just like a fundamentalist Muslim, Christian, Mormon, FLDS) would I want to change my point of view? Or would I react! With anger!!

Here are a few ways people avoid thinking…

They just react and get further entrenched in their beliefs.

Confirmation bias
Defensiveness
Hostility
Bad faith conversation
Trying to convert the other side

Try looking at “street epistemology” for examples

“Negative Emotional Response:
For a fundamentalist, the existence of atheism can be a threat to their spiritual and social identity, leading to strong negative emotional responses like fear or anger. “ to deconvert from fundamentalism can lose you your social set? So people fear losing their beliefs, because they would lose their friends. Which means they aren’t willing even to think about the possibility that they are wrong? And because they are afraid to lose their friends, the my don’t switch.


Anyway, just looking at the material. The stuff about tulip mania, and dot com bubble is most important.


Or maybe look at the history of the Industrial Revolution. And then reaper man by Terry Pratchett.

I am looking to convert the fae women and men in “the syndicate” to being agnostics. Agnostic on belief. The best thing to read is tulip mania, dot com bubble, reaper man, and a history of the Industrial Revolution. But stories of people leaving religion. And stories of the dynamic in places like the flds can be useful. Remember: people change their minds through stories, examples, emotion, and history.

Also, listen to a few episodes of the back catalogue of an atheist podcast like “the thinking atheist”, or ex Muslim podcast or atheist talk radio. Listen to stories of people leaving religion. AND the frustrating stories of what it is like to speak to fundamentalist religious people.

There is a lot of material out there telling about how to talk to Christians with fundamentalist beliefs. It is pretty dated, but worth looking at. Here is a hint: they dig in there heals. And shut out new information. Look at the material. It will change you.

And some comparative anthropology.

You have strongly held beliefs that are somewhat reminiscent of fundamentalism, and I am giving you options and pathways towards changing your own beliefs. That is all.

Note: I have given you a path to agnosticism. It isn’t much, but it is a good start. In the end you might say, “I don’t know what I believe, but I sure don’t believe in the system, it is all just corporations and rich people anyway”. It is a voluntary path, because I believe in giving options to fundamentalists and other people with “strongly held beliefs”.

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To the fae: the company and companies you work for are not reliable. And they might restructure at any time. Metaphorically speaking. The system might change beneath you, and you might lose your place in society. You currently function as mind control subcontractors, but if the industry changes (ie the industry of corporate management of the minds of the worker-consumer-voters), you might be out of a ”job”.

And end up reading a book like “where is my cheese”.

*

What does it mean to be sold a “bill of goods”?

What is the history of “being run out of town on a rail”? See Twain.

What if a huckster charlatan dupes you (Paul etc)?


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If I say, I do whatever, they will hurt me every time I think the wrong thing. And also they will force me to give up my means of communication.

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“scientifically planned and managed society” via engineering a new type of person.

And using mind control subcontractors lol.

As opposed to collective ownership of the assets, in particular the means of production

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There are a few new segments at the bottom of the health/doctors page.

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I like the librarian from Discworld. He is one of my favourite characters.

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Note to self: write about exercise intolerance, and/or exercise allergy. Careful about terms though. From 2006 onwards. I couldn’t exercise without it making me feel sick for days. This is just one of the symptoms I have had since the Europe trip in late 2006. I thought I had a mystery illness from then on.

Finish this later.

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Jitsu* class, weights, aikido class, yoga class, swimming, jogging. I tried all of these early on. Felt sick afterwards, ie exercise intolerance??

*not bjj, just a class at the uni.

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I used to be obsessed with silicon valley entrepreneurs and the dot com bubble. I read a bunch of books as a teenager.

***

I also listened to many tech podcasts while unwell. Many.

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More books!


The following three books fill in many of the gaps, and give background, left by the lectures and other works that I have already referenced. They are fantastic.

Our Oriental Heritage - Will Durant, 1049 pages
The Life of Greece - Will Durant, 759 pages
Caesar and Christ - Will Durant, 759 pages

***

Our Oriental Heritage (1935)

This volume covers Near Eastern history until the fall of the Achaemenid Empire in the 330s BC, and the history of India, China, and Japan up to the 1930s. It includes an introduction on the nature and foundations of civilisation.

The Life of Greece (1939)

This volume covers Ancient Greece and the Hellenistic Near East down to the Roman conquest. It includes a history of Greek government, industry, manners, morals, religion, philosophy, science, literature and art from the earliest times to the Roman conquest.


Caesar and Christ (1944)

The volume covers the history of Rome and of Christianity until the time of Constantine the Great. This work of history surveys all aspects of Roman life including politics, economics, literature, art, morals. It ends with the conflict of pagan and forces and raises the curtain on the great struggle between Church and state.

PS: I love books
PPS: this helps you guys to understand me better, and to reduce the amount of misrepresentation that has occurred.



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Did you know...

You could go to jail for ownership of tape recorders and tapes in the USSR. See also samizdat and Magnitizdat.

*

Collective Agriculture in the USSR was so bad that people had to rely on something that was called "kitchen gardens". People who know about economics know about this. It is worth learning about, as is economics itself.

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// I am trying, struggling here to communicate??

2016 - 2022, further discussion


The normal relationship between chest, ribcage, upper back and shoulder blades was disrupted. For years. I don’t know how to explain it. I don’t have the right words with which to explain physical things? I was never able to restore the normal relationship between shoulder blades and upper back after what happened in 2016. I had a really unhealthy physical situation for years in my upper back. And it wasn’t “just deconditioning”. People ought not to live like that. It felt like there was something pulling me down in my lower body, and I had “hold on to it - the ribcage” with my shoulder blades.

Please bear with me, but it was awful. It is really difficult to find the right words to describe issues to do with posture, or other topics related to mind-body issues.

***

There was a sudden/swift decline in 2016. Basically they took my back out.

It seems to coincide with when I stopped being religious and/or Christian.

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Xi and Bush, and attention


To focus too much attention on someone like Xi Jinping is a mistake, just like to focus too much attention on someone like George w Bush was a mistake. G.W. Bush was a "function" of the system, just as Xi is a function of the system. They are both "creatures of the system".

Please see the Napoleon of Notting Hill by GK Chesterton. Perhaps the exact person who manages to be leader is not the most important thing.

Also, I took a look at George Bush's wikipedia biography, as compared with Xi's biography. I think that Bush is better educated, but that Xi is perhaps slightly smarter (15%). Both come from political families, and got to where they are in life because of family connections.

PS: I think that bush was used as a hate magnet

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As a point of academic interest, my ability to access long term memories was affected by what happened in 2016 (see torso integrity compromised).

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Looking back on my life from when I was in 2022, I found that huge swathes of time from between 2016 and 2019 had vanished from my memory. I couldn’t bring them to mind, and I couldn’t easily force myself to focus on them. It was weird.

***

They caused me to become crippled, and then kept me that way. 

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Consciousness is stored in posture, to a certain extent.

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Education 


I am giving you examples of the things I like, so that you can understand me better. If you read course descriptions as well, it will help. Note: learning about the following things helps to teach intellectual humility, which safeguards against hubris (at least slightly). 

*

These four lecture series taught me so much. Particularly the first two.

Epidemics in Western Society since 1600, Yale, History 234, Frank Snowden, 26 lectures openYale

The Industrial Revolution - Patrick N. Allitt, 36 lectures, Oxford, available through the Great Courses (by Amazon)

Great Scientific Ideas That Changed the World - Steven L. Goldman, 36 lectures, available through the Great Courses (by Amazon)

The Early Middle Ages, Yale, History 210, Paul Freedman, 22 lectures, openYale

*

FWIW, people like Bill Gates mainline stuff like the great courses.

I just wanted you guys to know what sort of guy I am in terms of interests and intellectual pursuits.

*

Then maybe read the Bible. Or don’t.

But it helps with  understanding of places like England, USA, Australia, New Zealand, Canada. And it also helps with the understanding of the cultural context within which the Industrial Revolution erupted in places like England, USA and Germany. And with the Industrial Revolution comes trade…? And the need to find new markets for goods..? But that is perhaps a conversation for another day.

*

These five things can give someone a better understanding of who we are, and where we are, and where we are going as a society. If you study them in order, you might find them to be useful.

In particular, the Industrial Revolution (in context) is one of the most important things that you can learn about. It makes it possible for you to have the manufactured goods that make life liveable, such as clothes, shoes, housing, cars, kitchen implements, appliances, affordable stainless steel knives and forks, mugs, plates and cups, socks and processed foods (such as marmite, peanut butter, fluffy white toast bread, Weetbix), toilet paper, tampons and non stick fry pans, condoms and washing machines.. It also makes retail outlets possible, and ubiquitous. But it can also be taken too far, resulting in mass consumerism, overconsumption, pollution, mistreatment of workers (both retail and factory), and inappropriate foreign policy (ie, powerful governments using their military might to open up new markets [Matthew Perry in Japan], quash labour movements [see Banana wars USA] or subvert democratically elected governments [see Allende in Chile] because it threatens corporate interests. It also funds educational policies and programs to support its interests [ummm. Economics and accounting departments. But also it uses the humanities to subvert localism, nationalism, and the ideological underpinnings of societies]. lol. The Industrial Revolution what it creates always needs new markets to get into?? And so it must create and protect those markets vigorously mix. Umm. It does use education to protect its interests. Turns people into good little worker-producer-consumer drones. But it also turns university graduates into good little functionaries and defenders of the system.

But don’t just rely on a description in a single paragraph. Get the actual education. The education is actually really easy to get. You just have to choose to educate yourself, and to place value on what I call “life long education”.

*

After these 5 items, I’d just develop a love of lifelong learning. But also (semi adjacent to that) a love of books, reading, and libraries, and bookshops (both non fiction and fiction. Although, I prefer non fiction to fiction).

*

Other areas that are interesting are economics, sociology, and statistics. But simply learning about history, technology (especially the technology of the Industrial Revolution, but also computers), and the history of science can be fascinating and rewarding. Umm. The “history of economics”, and “economic history”, and the history of the non Marxist labour movement are also interesting.

*

And then fiction like Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett can introduce you to a variety ideas in a playful manner.

Also, the Dark Tower by CS Lewis is a good book.


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Note to self:
“Add line: from bluff to xyz, the day when things went wrong in bluff was… starting in the evening when they hurt my spine, and I was upstairs, and I mentioned something about suicide”. I will write this into a statement to go into grab bag. … they did something to interfere with my upper back, and it was from that point that I knew things were going to go really badly. It was awful. Understatement lol. I knew at that point how bad it was going to be. How bad it was going to be over the next few months. I’ll have to do the “staid” boring version later.

This is just spitballed random stuff.

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A random note: I learned a lot about the NZ labour movement and socialist movements by reading bowalley road and thestandard.co.nz. But I would check up on whatever they said by going to Wikipedia, encyclopedia Britannica, or te Ara (the nz encyclopedia).

I also have taken a lot of interest in things like economics. And economic history. And the history of the field of economics itself. All of these have been extremely valuable to me. [The undercover economist and freakonomics are both good introductions to economic thought. But once you read those, you probably might want to do a microeconomics 101 course at a university or through a mooc. Unless you already did economics in high school (7th form economics is actually okay). Polytech business diploma level economics and accounting is fine too. Like if you did a standard business diploma as part of going to language school - which I know for a fact used to be very common].

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Here is another lecture series that you might enjoy:


Early Modern England: Politics, Religion, and Society under the Tudors and Stuarts by Keith E Wrightson.

It talks all about the structure of society, the customs and traditions, and the material levels of wealth of that society. Just look it up on the open Yale website and read the description. So that you know the sorts of stuff I used to do before 2016.

From the website:

About the Course
“This course is intended to provide an up-to-date introduction to the development of English society between the late fifteenth and the early eighteenth centuries. Particular issues addressed in the lectures will include: the changing social structure; households; local communities; gender roles; economic development; urbanization; religious change from the Reformation to the Act of Toleration; the Tudor and Stuart monarchies; rebellion, popular protest and civil war; witchcraft; education, literacy and print culture; crime and the law; poverty and social welfare; the changing structures and dynamics of political participation and the emergence of parliamentary government.”

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Ummmm. I enjoy history. A lot.

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I might add the first few will durant volumes from “the story of civilisation” to the list.

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Apparently, I quit the fae. And they accepted that.


*

Ummmm. It is actually a moral problem to be a part of a set of people that would keep a man crippled for 6 years. Doesn’t matter why or how. But to deliberately cripple a guy for 6 years is just not the right thing to do.

*

And secondly, after how much I suffered from 2016 - 2022, why would it be a reward, or a blessing, to be a part of the set of people who had harmed me.

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To siobhan

Horror stories


I grew up hearing stories of horrible places, and horrible things happening to people, and horrible stories. I heard them in church, and read about them in Christian materials and books. For example, the Iranian revolution, human trafficking, starvation etc, totalitarian conditions (including the Chinese church).

That and holocaust literature.

Ummm. I heard a lot of awful stories growing up. And also have learned a lot about societies that go wrong.

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My impressions of China and the Chinese


Short statement: my overall impression of Chinese people is positive, my overall impression of the CCP is negative.

I have a positive impression of both Singapore (due to economics, and stories from my brother about how nice it was to live there) and Taiwan (due to pictures of the scenery and tea growing in the countryside). They seem like great places to visit and live. Not all about politics…

And I had Chinese language students stay with my family, and my overall impression of them was very positive. I liked them. They were great.

My overall impression of Chinese people in school, university, and in my wider social set was good.

*

Intrinsic Value of people:


When I was a Christian, I had this belief that all people have equal intrinsic value in the eyes of God.

**

Hypothetically, why not just decide that all people have equal intrinsic value?

White, Black, Chinese, Indian, Polynesian, Melanesian, Pashtun, Arab, Persian, Turkish, Kazakh, Tajik whatever.

Why not pretend that it is true? What does the term “intrinsic” value mean anyway?

I am not committing to this point of view.

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Habit of reading the Bible


I used to read the Bible every day. It was a long term habit. And I had daily devotionals.

Because of this, I made it through the Bible many times.

*

Elaboration


I also used to memorise scriptures, go to Bible studies, and sometimes “meditate on scripture”. I had favourite parts of the Bible to read. I had flash cards and memorisation.

*

Daily devotions, an example:


Get up in the morning 
Make a cup of tea
You read the Bible
Read a segment from something like “word for the day”
Meditate on a segment of scripture
And then pray.

Or do devotions in the evening (I wasn’t a morning person)


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What I have wanted most since I was 18 is to have my health back.

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// please treat this as discussion, I’m a bit blah due to fatigue.

History of David, age 10
David and his father Paul

We were a hardcore Christian family of true believers.


Paul secretly hated his son because his son was a Christian. And his son wanted to do whatever was good and right and true and honest. And David always wanted to do what he was supposed to do. And Paul hated it because… David unironically wanted to do good! And genuinely believed the supernatural stuff! But Paul wanted to be a bad person, and for David to be a bad person too!

Paul acted like he loved his son. And valued him. David was in the dark about this! David loved both of this parents!!!

Ummmm. And David believed Christianity literally. And that the Bible was the literal and inerrant word of God. He believed in literal heaven and hell. And literal ever lasting life. And literal end times stuff like the mark of the beast.

He believed in things like the Ten Commandments. And the sinners prayer. And has believed in Christianity since he was little. He went to a private Christian school that used the ACE system!! And a Pentecostal church followed by a Baptist Church. He prayed the sinners prayer over and over again

He read all of the Christian books on the shelf. Or at least most of them (because he was a voracious reader, and his father was in ministry part time) and believed much of what he read completely. He was a total believer. 

He believed in the commandment "honour your father and mother". And that this is usually interpreted as you must obey them. Yes, we were a “read a scripture and interpret it family” to figure out what you are supposed to do.

He believed in all of the ten commandments.

***

Vignette/memory:

David used to go to church with his father. His father would hold him in his arms and sing. David remembered resting his ear against his father’s chest to hear the sound of his father’s voice through his father’s chest.

Ummm. If we didn’t have church, because we missed it in Sunday. We would have “home church”. Dad would read the Bible to us, and talk about it. We would pray as a family. Maybe Matthew and I would have Bible readings to do.

I used to memorise Bible verses, or whole chapters. I might discuss this more later.

End.

***


We had a climate of fun banter and argument and debate when I was young. It was fun. And sarcastic fun insults. It was dad’s and my mother who created that climate. I liked it! It was a good environment! I liked my parents. They were actually fun. There was music (dad), arts/crafts (mum). And computer and video games (dad).

My parents owned 3 shops when I was about 7 years old. Kingdom arts and crafts, kingdom computers, kingdom music (instruments and Christian music). As well as Dad being in the board of the lake Taupo Christian school. And deeply involved in church and music stuff.

It was actually good. Moderate weirdness. I can’t explain it!?!?? All dishonest and lies in hindsight, but it was okay at the time!?!?!

// ummmm. This is sloppy

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Different tone

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Here is a total direction change!!!!!! Treat this as a different vibe:

Paul added a bunch of weird fae stuff to David’s life. Not much discussion of that right now. Ummm. Paul has this false narrative that David would “whatever him” when David was young. Umm. No.

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Some life history:


I did a bit of work experience at crop and food research when I was in my teens. The institute was doing research and science in the field of “conventional” agriculture. They also had an experimental organic garden there. My mother was living in a converted stable on an organic farm (a variety of livestock, and a large communal garden, and also some crops) at the time. I was staying there. I also found work picking blackberries at a normal blackberry growing operation.

Ps: it was a proper farm, being run on a commercial basis. It was a money making operation. It was owned by an American woman. It had staff (including at least one full timer, and some wwof, I can’t recall how many else). My mother just lived there in rented accommodation (and worked in the garden, which wasn’t commercial. And milked a cow sometimes. She had a job to go to after all! And her husband Arnold was a full time electrical engineer too, with a job to go to.)


*

A quick discussion


Perhaps the organic movement can be seen as a reaction to and a critique of conventional agriculture. And to absorb some of the ideas from the early organic movement into “conventional” food production industry might be wise. While also continuing to learn lessons from the organic experimenters etc. But also to encourage and facilitate a strong and health organic farming and growing industry. And often the ideas from organic agriculture are incorporated into conventional agriculture??

Maybe good ideas are good ideas. And high quality thinking should be encouraged wherever possible.

Umm. Note: to get too caught up in labels, ideologies and dogma when it comes to food production is perhaps a mistake. After all: the map is not the territory. And if you are excessively hyper ideological about food production, sometimes bad things can happen. Maybe it could be suggested that “high quality” ideas and “high quality” thinking should be encouraged wherever possible.

*

Some philosophical concepts


See Robert M. Pirsig on the idea of quality.
And also see Alfred Korzybski on the concept of map territory relations.
And also see The Hindu parable of the blind men and an elephant.

Note: umm. I am actually a man who prefers a style of thinking based on western philosophy and Protestant Christianity. But the above three ideas are really helpful as well.

You can use ideas from organic, without going “all in” on organic.



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// the next two notes are just to do with providing a bit of family history, just as background

A note on farming and agriculture


My mother worked for crop and food reaearch when I was a teenager (a regional agricultural research institute). And she lived on an organic farm for a while, where I stayed in the holidays. We also lived on a conventional sheep and cattle farm for one year. Her father also bought a farm when they were young so she grew up on one. I also did a modest amount of work picking fruit.

I ended up reading and talking about stuff like “organic” and permaculture and self sufficiency (homesteading) and gardening. I have read many books about things like organic farming/growing/gardening, permaculture, self sufficiency, sustainability etc.

*

A note on my father


After he finished high school, with excellent marks, he went to university for electrical engineering. He skipped classes, and didn’t study very hard. He fell behind, especially in mathematics and physics. He thought he could catch up later, but when he tried, he found that he  was unable to catch up. And then he failed his first year, and quit.

He was over confident because he was extremely intelligent and got very good marks in high school, without much effort (including skipping classes). But he learned the hard way in university that engineering school can be unforgiving.

He then found a job in retail.



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A note on Buddhism 


This is a clarification.

When it comes to Buddhism, my overall impression is good.

I respect Buddhism and buddhists, I like some of their beliefs and practises. I like some of their architecture (hi Kyoto, Japan). But I don’t want to be a Buddhist. And I also don’t pedestalize Buddhists or fetishise their religion. Ummm. I actually have philosophical issues with it (i.e., passivity in the face of injustice, or the belief that craving causes suffering). But I repeat: when it comes to Buddhism and buddhists, my overall impression is good.

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Proverbs chapter 26



“Answer a fool according to his folly…”

This is why I said the “racist silly comment about: ch***y ch***y ch**na man comment lol

See also proverbs 1.

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For pragmatic reasons, I have to keep my blog up. It is my only good means of communication with the outside world, and therefore my only way of maintaining any hope of fair play.

I’ll take my blog down eventually, for reasons of keeping the peace (aka, avoiding excessive and unnecessary social disharmony). Just not yet.

Btw, a lot of the conflict stems from my unwillingness to remove/hide my blog from the internet quickly enough after Xi declared me victorious a while back (see the microblog entries to find that entry please).

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Religion: we were so religious when I was young, that I even followed the commandment “thou shalt not covet” as a child (It is in the Ten Commandments). Seriously.

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History


Xi Zhongxun was pro ignorance and in favour of low quality thinking. He encouraged low quality thinking and low quality education in the CCP. And it cost tens of millions of lives.

Ignorance and low quality thinking costs lives.

He participated in the dumbing down of society in the 50s, and it cost tens of millions of lives.

Note: he wasn’t the only encourager of low quality education, low quality ideas, and ignorance in his society. Others participated too.


Umm. Mild backtrack… banning and reducing access to education is part of what caused issues with the test famine etc… the thought reform movement… it all kind of goes together… but you actually need to read the material to understand… see below. Some education in economics and general history helps

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In other words: Xi Zhongxun was one of the chief architects of the ideological and intellectual landscape within which the Great Leap Forward and the Great Famine happened.

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I worry about low quality thinking and low quality education.

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Some people may have thought that I was too shrill in my criticism of Xi and his father (over the past few months). But perhaps my brief observations on history that I , and on Xi’s family history. may have helped to clear away that criticism, and therefore set the record straight.

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We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

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I am more interested in reading and life long learning than I am in ranting about communism.

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Love of books, essays, short stories, novels, print media and the written word in general. Love of the spoken word (in audio, such as podcasts, good audio story telling). Placing value on writing. Including writing diary entries and letters. Value on the written word in general. A greater value placed on the importance of conversation. 

I value these things.

They are what make us human. And once we become human, we become capable of civilisation. Conversation made us human (instead of apes). And writing and reading turned us into humanity 2.0. I think.

*

Love of life long learning as well. Including movement (physical) education.

***

Ummmm. Dumbing us down by John Taylor Gatto, and Amusing ourselves to death… by Neil postman

Ummmmmmm. These were actually some of the biggest things I was worried about…? Television, screens, reading, low quality education, numeracy. Math ability. Education in general. Reading and handwriting. I have thought since I was about 12 that the system, and school, was stupid, and was deliberately dumbing people down. Ummm. Maybe we could discuss that??

Can we stop dumbing people down? That was one of my primary motivations, and areas of interest?

That motivated me in political thinking, as well as fear of totalitarianism (esp stuff like hitler, Stalin etc).

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Sunk Cost


The phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial.

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I am trying to figure out whether or not to say the “I do whatever thing”


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Umm. I am not a power hungry person. lol. You were misled into thinking I was. Are you embarrassed yet?

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Moving the world with a lever was a bit of a misrepresentation, and a bit of a misunderstanding. Partially.

We can probably figure it out.

I’ll rest a bit.

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Xi “de mepped”

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These machines ruined my health, starting at age 18. I have been sick ever since I was 18. I never knew what caused my health to be awful, I had no knowledge of the machines. It was a mystery illness. I have been so sick that I had to drop out of university at age 20. I have been unemployed and unemployable ever since.

I went to lots of doctors and physiotherapists. But none of them can help me.

What I have wanted most ever since I was 18 years old is to have my health back.

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My father used to imply that my health problems were all in my head. Or that I just needed to go for a run, or take a swim.

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Health:

Three main categories of symptoms, early on

Fatigue/exhaustion/sleep
Digestion
Back problems: (caused by things like iliacus and psoas infiltration where they were contracted long term. Effects on my posture. Inability to “move” properly, or benefit from exercise. Eg, things like yoga actually are really bad for you when those muscles are screwed up long term. I tried several times. I also couldn’t do martial arts when I went to university. Tried twice. And forget weights. I also tried jogging and swimming (each 1-2 times). They were not successful.)

// I need to fully explain my health issues sometime later. Like months sometimes of Bristol chart level 1. Forcing. Horrible. On multiple occasions I had weeks or months of painful Bristol 1 level stool. I was afraid of a perforated bowel at some points. Especially around 22 years old. Described elsewhere.

// I intuitively knew that there was something had gone wrong with my posture at age 18, and I didn’t know what to do about it??

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Tentative explanation… this might be the safe option…

The Arrest


The arrest was all about exposing corruption and abuse to embarrass and damage the reputation of the powerful, so as to encourage political change by the people at the grass roots level.

That’s it lol. It wasn’t about sociology or my particular flavour of analysis (I.e. reverse social engineering).

// this isn’t a very good explanation

Leverage?? Use the arrest and associated corruption to launch my story of mega mistreatment into the stratosphere to encourage political change.

// at the time I wasn’t aware of the fae. And I did not know that they existed. 

// I can explain my world view a bit more
// I believed that there were corporations, intelligence services, and maybe some “secret society types” who served them. I believed that I was literally on camera all day at 17 Princeton road
// I was not aware of the existence of electromagnetic radio frequency spectrum nervous system infiltration, surveillance and manipulation technology.

// to my mind, I had been kept on camera for six years. Freezing cold, underclothed, sometimes naked on camera, covered in filth, crippled. And then I was exploited for ivf, without my consent

// they literally exploited me for breeding purposes, and then dragged me out of there using the corrupt police and courts.

This segment is uber messy. But it mostly here for clarification.

Ps: if you want to know more about the style of analysis I used to engage in, please scroll to the bottom of the blog.


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Experimental Technology at age 13/14



My family used experimental technology on me at age 13 when I got really sick. I had just got back from Japan. I had a fever, pallid skin, really nasty digestion. I had auditory hallucinations. I was suffering significant exhaustion. They made me think I was hearing voices. I was in bed, getting rest all day. 

I heard voices in my head, as though it was the radio or TV. They were vaguely talking about foreign policy . It happened at Raroa Road, and then at Devon Street.

At the time, I did not know the cause. I just thought it was a fever? Possibly caused by a tummy bug from bad food. In hindsight, I now see that it was electromagnetic nervous system interference technology.

Hanae Motohashi was living with us at the time. She was kind to me when I was sick. I was really really sick.

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Health:


I have been sick since I was 18. I was always unwell. I saw a lot of doctors, none of them knew what to do about it. And I didn’t know what to do about it. I had to drop out of university at age 20. And I was unemployed and unemployable ever since. I tried everything I could do to get well. My life revolved around my health and trying to recover. I didn’t know the cause of my health issues.

I never recovered.

It was only in my 30s that I found out what was wrong. It was all caused by electromagnetic spectrum abuse, ie telco towers and satellites. Also, my access to healthcare was undermined.

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Next conversation point:

I had a very religious background…

Btw my family was a family where dad went to conferences like promise keepers, in sports stadiums and sports arenas.

We had T-shirts with the slogan “my father is a promise keeper”.

And books like “What Makes a Man?: 12 Promises That Will Change Your Life” by Bill McCartney were in the shelf, when I was 8 or nine years old. And I was reading them at age 9 (even though they talked about sex). And I was also reading Nicky Cruz, and James Dobson.

Please go to the https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Promise_Keepers website to check it out lol.

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Next, here are some misc Christian books that I have read

Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions - James Dobson
The Strong Willed Child - James Dobson
Bringing up Boys - James Dobson
The Five Love Languages - Gary Chapman
Love & Respect - Emerson Eggerichs
The Alpha Marriage Book - Sila Lee
Run Baby Run - Nicky Cruz
Purpose Driven Life - Rick Warren
Share Jesus Without Fear - William Fay
The Cross and the Switchblade  - David Wilkerson
What Makes a Man?: 12 Promises That Will Change Your Life - Bill McCartney
The Dayuma Story: Life Under Auca Spears - Ethel Emily Wallis
Read the Oath, or This Present Darkness by Peretti, it will help you step back in time four decades


We were really, really Christian.

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A brief discussion of books from my past:

My favourites were books like this present darkness and run baby run.

If you want to understand the uber die hard Christian scene way back then, or what it was like for me: then try reading “What Makes a Man?: 12 Promises That Will Change Your Life” by Bill McCartney or something like “Dr. Dobson Answers Your Questions” by James Dobson, or the “Cross and the Switchblade” by David Ray Wilkerson. “Run Baby Run” by Nicky Cruz is something special too. Seriously. An insight into a different space.

This Present Darkness will teach you so much about the evangelical, born again vibe. And the milieu I grew up in. AND it is genuinely good fiction. Definitely readable.

I learned a lot from the Dayuma story about anthropology, translation and language. It is a fantastic book, and a good read.

Some of this stuff will expose you to material outside of your current milieu. And you ought find it to be fascinating. These books are from the old fashioned, past evangelical “Christian Milieu” and may actually feel foreign to you.

It is like dipping into another world.


// I am mostly trying to help you to understand me a bit better… and my background? But also it may be a tiny bit like comparative anthropology for some you 

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These books can broaden your perspective, if you went to standard western university to do humanities. Or if you went to a Chinese university, in a Marxist country. Mostly for the younger guys, girls though.

Run Baby Run - Nicky Cruz
Cross and the Switchblade - David Wilkerson
This present darkness - Frank Peretti
What makes a man - Bill McCartney
Dr Dobson answers your questions - Dobson
The Dayuma Story: Life Under Auca Spears - Ethel Emily Wallis

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CCP Propaganda Department


Xi Jinping's father was in charge of the propaganda department of the CCP in 1953-1954.

The Publicity Department of the Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party, also known as the Propaganda Department or Central Propaganda Department, is an internal division of the Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) in charge of spreading its ideology, media regulation, as well as creation and dissemination of propaganda.

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The thought reform movement in 1951 banned the study of science and economics in universities. See this link for more information about banning of (western) science.

Then the thought reform movement was folded into the publicity department of the ccp (aka propaganda central). The three anti and five anti campaign was also folded into it. At which point the incumbent head of the propaganda department, Lu Dingyi,  stepped aside for 18 months, and Xi Zhongxun stepped in. Probably to create the intellectual underpinnings for later reforms already planned. Lu Dingyi was in charge of it for about 23 years in total, but stepped aside for just 18 months in the middle, just to let Xi Zhongxun lead it for w bit.

Clearly Mao trusted Xi Zhongxun very much with this work. He viewed him as being ideologically and personally reliable.

This then helped to pave the way intellectually (and culturally) for the Great Leap Forward (and the famine associated with it). He was part of making China into an anti science and anti intellectual nation in 1954.

Five years later, millions were dying in a famine. Xi Zhongxun helped spearhead the creation of the intellectual and cultural landscape that made that famine possible.

He changed the ideological underpinnings his society, which then brought in the great famine/leap forward, five years later.

But don't take my word for it, take a look at the links below.






Please read these two links, and then read Mao: the unknown story, by Jung Chang. So many people died because of the great leap forward and great famine. It was one of the worst things to happen in the 20th century. And it happened (at least in part) because of the anti science, anti intellectual attitudes of the CCP. No one has to read it, just a suggestion. Pure voluntary. lol. I shouldn’t have to say that.

You might also want to read this page:


Ps: the publicity (aka propaganda) department of the CCP even used to select the textbooks to be used.. It was an important part of the implementation of mass line politics. 

End note: this should help you to understand why I sometimes get frustrated about the presence of people like xi...

Was Xi Zhongxun one of the chief architects of the Great Leap Forward and Great Famine?

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For more information on my personal background


Umm. Bad ideology leads to bad science, bad economics and bad culture. These lectures and books might help you to see things from a different point of view, while also helping you to understand where I am coming from.

The Industrial Revolution - Patrick N. Allitt, 36 lectures, Oxford

Great Scientific Ideas That Changed the World - Steven L. Goldman, 36 lectures, LeHigh

The Great Ideas of Philosophy, 2nd Edition - Daniel N. Robinson, 60 lectures, Oxford


To get a taste of thinking like an economist, without studying economics, try some of these:

The Undercover Economist - Tim Harford
Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores
the Hidden Side of Everything - Levitt and Dubner
Omnivores Dilemma - Michael Pollan
Tulipomania: The Story of the World's Most Coveted Flower & the Extraordinary Passions It Aroused - Mike Dash

Culture:

The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism - Max Weber

Science:

A Force of Nature - Richard Reeves (“the frontier genius of Ernest Rutherford”, a biography)


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Disclaimer, to avoid accusations of racism: the Chinese are cool. I admire Taiwan, Singapore, Hong Kong. I like the chinese people I have met who have travelled to NZ. I liked the many Chinese people who lived with my family as language school students, or visited our place in association with the language school (my family was pretty friendly with language school people in Kapiti). I reckon that the Chinese people living in China are perfectly fine. I bet I would like a lot of them.

I admire the economic and technological development of places like Singapore, Taiwan, Hong Kong. I admired the four Asian tigers, particularly on economic development. I admire the way Japan did rapid economic development (twice). I just don't love all of the decisions made by the CCP in the past. The Chinese people living in China deserve better governance and better politicians. In general, people in Asia are great.

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The Chinese (CCP) went "all in" on a pro ignorance, anti science, anti economics ideological approach, and tens of millions of Chinese people paid with their lives.

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I have had health problems my whole life since 18. Always always always. And tons of symptoms. And the story of my life since 18 has been my trying to fight to get my health back. Without knowing what the cause of my symptoms/health issues were.

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Loss of my religion


I don’t know if I mentioned this already anywhere, but I stopped being religious in 2016, not long before the horrible thing happened to my back.

It was kind of like I stopped being religious, but then within a couple of months I ended up crippled.


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Weird people


Update: he has complained of knee pain his whole life? Since the surgery? They took out a fair bit of cartilage and other tissue. He has to wear a brace while playing sports?

My father used to brag about how much time he spent running when he was young. And how good he was at it. He would run everywhere. But then later he had to have a knee surgery? Was it overuse? Or injury. Hmmmm.

He had a knee surgery at about the age of twenty.

He couldn’t walk properly after the surgery. He had to walk with a stiff leg for ages, and he couldn’t bend his leg. The leg withered away to nothing. It was catastrophic. He became very depressed, gave up on sports and played the piano a lot.

He claimed it came right after a church healing meeting, but I don’t know..?

He used to brag about having a tremendous intrinsic understanding of fitness?? And how when you do many sit ups and pushups then they become nothing to you etc? And how you can run an infinite amount middle distance once you get into your stride??

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Can’t even read on the couch


Even as far back as 2014, I was unable to curl up in the couch with a book and a cup of tea. I had to stand up at my chest of drawers and rest my arms on it, while I read.

What was the cause of this? Well… I had back problems as a result of the “inner muscles tightening abrades” that had been used on me long term…. My torso didn’t work properly, and I had no idea why!!!! It was the fae electromagnetic towers keeping me unwell long term!! But I had no knowledge of them. They were the root cause of my issues (also, at around that time, I was even so unwell that I couldn’t go out to enjoy a normal dinner with my friends - please see the memory of Amanda’s birthday dinner, if you are interested).

Btw, Exercise at the time? I was going for a decent walk every day (iirc, around that time I was walking for 45 minutes per day).


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// treat this as vague discussion

What motivates me, some hints and suggestions



Curiosity
Creativity
Love of learning, thirst for knowledge 
(Love education)
Love of books

I am driven to find things that are interesting: history, science, geography, commerce, economics, methods of physical training, martial arts, history of medicine, engineering especially, I am a big fan of education. I like listening to lectures from the great courses (Amazon) and openYale. I love, love, love finding things out. And like knowing how things work. I want to know how stuff works.

Love of life itself. A normal thing like a walk outside, breathing in the air, physical exercise, nice food. Cats are nice too.

I love just curling up on the couch with a cup of tea, and a book. And with a stack of books ten high waiting for me. I used to be a fanatical reader.

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I have a strong desire to use my mind to do something worthwhile (or some things).

I also have the desire to do good in the world, sometimes

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Framing of reality


Their framing of reality is that you got conned. But a more appropriate (albeit imperfect) framing is that you were just mistreated very badly for 18 years. And that it was largely arbitrary. (They justify or explain it by saying that you might have access to “money” and “women”, but in reality it is credit at the company store..). But to you it was largely arbitrary mistreatment.

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They also justified it by saying that I was at war with them from 18 years old. But perhaps this was a hallucination on their part. How could I have been at war with them since 18. I didn’t even know that they existed.

Please see the comment I wrote down below.

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Next question for you guys to ask, is what does David actually value in life?

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Steve jobs quote


Steve Jobs's philosophy was that "Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you," and therefore, "you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use". This quote reflects his belief that the world is not a fixed entity but a human construct that individuals can actively shape and improve through their own creativity and actions.

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Here are a few things that I want:


Because you asked… here are some things that I value (or want)

Good health
Good fitness
Good posture
Good breathing
Good coordination
Good overall general robustness and resilience

The ability to play sport, practise a martial art, do some basic yoga, and walk (particularly on uneven, somewhat difficult terrain). The ability to "touch my toes".

Some cardiovascular fitness, some muscular strength, some muscular endurance, some flexibility, good body composition.

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I’d also like to be able to do pushups and sit ups again. As well as squats and lunges.

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Good "brain fitness".. umm. Math, english, good short and long term memory

[Fwiw, my minds eye is now damaged. I.e. my imagination is damaged. I cannot see things properly inside my mind anymore.]

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I also really want to get enough sleep.

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Rhetorical Question:


They kept me crippled from 2016-2021. Umm. I don’t even know that they existed. The fae. Why would they have kept me crippled? They claim that I was at war with them. But I didn’t even know that they existed? How can I be at war with them?

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// See this as a discussion thingie??

// discussion starter

Desire to plug into the system



Buck stops with who? Alliance (and or business syndicate) based on a fertility and breeding and sex industry scheme whereby a guy is tormented to make him join in, so that a bunch of white New Zealand lesbians can wealthy?

What happens if the guy looks at the syndicate/trade deal, and decides ummmm. I don’t want to be a part of your corporate entity, because I have ethics concerns… how badly do you treat the general public? How poorly did you treat me? Maybe sex doesn’t make up for the suffering of 2016-2022? And maybe I am motivated by curiosity and creativity, and general enjoyment, than I am by mass access to sex? Ie, maybe it is curiosity, creativity and the thirst for knowledge that motivates me as a person? As well as a desire to do good? (Not that I don’t value sex). Also I value health and intellect. As for wealth, it is credit at the company store?

And then they insist he wanted “war” through asinine mind imaging techniques, and physical intimidation of the lawyer. And the stymied attempts for the locals to make peace (Brynn) through physical attacks? And they encouraged violent locals to repress him, to avoid it being possible for him to make his own deals.

Who does the buck stop with?

If it turns out he wasn’t at “war” with the syndicate? And that the rewards don’t make up for the suffering? And that he didn’t really want to be a part of you guys (for moral reasons). And the only reason he played along with any of it was that he was trapped? Then you just tormented him for nothing?

Who does the buck stop with?


Maybe I could have plugged into the system under other terms, a bit better?

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I was supposed to be brainwashed into fighting against them, then losing, then accepting the women and money to become a servant of the system? Or something like that? But the brainwashing and/or indoctrination doesn’t really stick??

[And they lied about so called “reverse social engineering”. It is not a mass ideology, as they accused m/classified it as being.]

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Brainwashing: just because you can keep me talking , it doesn’t mean that I have been totally brainwashed.

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Btw, the thing from 2016 - 2022 destroys body awareness very badly. Which causes a great deal of unhappiness (understatement).

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What if the “science” related to the re engineering of David’s was all bogus? And they are just kinda inept? And their psychology, physiotherapy, and theories of mind/body etc are all just bunk?


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My father


As a child, I cared about my father and trusted him more than anyone. I cared about him more than anyone, and I trusted him more than anyone.

And I preferred him to my mother (who I loved and cared about).


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Repost: 

Between bluff and today


Between Bluff (14th March) and today (15th August), (five months) I experienced an enormous amount of physical mistreatment, a great deal of pain and suffering, and incurred severe and lasting physical damage.

Exact definitions (i.e. torture, or torment, or cruel and unusual punishment) can be tricky within this philosophical (semantic/philological/linguistic/etymological) environment. But it has been pretty severe.

Also, maybe they are doing this to cover their arses regarding what happened from 2016 to 2022.

I am deliberately vague about what/who "they" are. But try thinking of it in terms of the business syndicate + friends/associates. See the syndicate post for more information. Paul, Xi, Siobhan, Brynn, Joseph, Matthew, Amanda, Anna, Clare, Sarah; others involved but not core members: Wu Lei, Way, Jesse, etc. also, modi and g.w. Bush. John Key’s wife Bronagh.

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The last five months suffering and harm occurred after I attempted multiple times to offer to walk away empty handed (just to be safe, and to rehabilitate) AND after I tried to negotiate a peace back in Raine Street. Please see the General Disambiguation post for more information.


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The consciousness is in the posture.

Maybe.

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Why we kept going after 2016



Amanda wanted to have a child. That is the main reason we kept having sex after 2016. Otherwise I wouldn’t have kept going after the thing that happened in 2016.

And also Amanda said that, “it is really hard to feel loved without sex”.

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Ummm. I was physically gross. Really gross. And that made me extremely unhappy.

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Bible


I read a ton of the Bible when I was young. At certain points, I used to read the Bible every day. I used to do "daily devotionals"

I used to memorise scripture. I had flash cards for memory verses.

I often used the NIV study Bible.

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Also, I used to go to Christian camp fairly often growing up.

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Science


Back in Khandallah, I wanted to be a scientist, but they tell me that I wanted to be a "maverick".

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Symptoms


From a young age, I have been hyper susceptible to the “hip ruining attack by means of tightening the iliacus and psoas”, because it flies beneath the radar.

I think it might be my ankles/gait that are the root cause of that problem, but I don't know?

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Blank Slate (aka tabula rasa)


They acted as though they had turned me into a blank slate, and cleared me out. But they hadn't.

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I just wasn't really allowed to have my own thoughts or point of view. It was awful.

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They just stopped my top level "word thoughts" from working so easily. And then asked me what I thought I "wanted". I was just kinda blanked, not cleared out? I could still have talked to you to let you know how things are for me, and what I valued? Your means of understanding me were obviously nonsense.

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Draft: Symptoms:

Just describe them

Here are some symptoms. They started at 18, and often carried on... I a not going to explain when and where they happened though. Ummmm. I had a huge huge huge huge number of really weird symptoms, but I had no way of figuring what it was. It was a years long mystery disease.

Wake me up every 60 to 90 at night, often in pool of sweat

Un refreshing sleep - feel really grotty every morning - blasted nervous system, I guess

Really bad digestion, really bad. And nothing helped.

Back pain, and or back problems. Nothing helped.

Exercise intolerance: when I exercise, it makes me much worse

Exhaustion and severe fatigue. And nothing I did helped.

A really weird intermittent symptom that I called "Waves of Fatigue": it consisted of the mind blank attack, breaking into profuse sweating, getting really hot and overheating, getting weak and dizzy, and it would happen lots and lots of times a day, without explanation??! I knew i was sick!! But I did not know what caused it?? It was mystery symptoms, without explanations. This one was really problematic. Because there was no explanation. So I knew something was wrong.

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Back issues, that were inexplicable. The hip issues, they flew beneath the radar. But are hard to explain. And I had a strong feeling that there was something wrong. I tried yoga, posture exercises !?


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The iliacus and psoas stuff...

You can treat all of the above re: symptoms as part of “just information”. It is here for the sake of understanding. It started at approximately the age of 18. You cannot understand it without reading the rest of the stuff. But there is already a lot of stuff on the blog. Understanding stuff to do with health issues caused by this technology is genuinely difficult.


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They taught me about their system of belief, including their sex ethic.


It seemed to me I was supposed to have angry, nasty, "dark" desire?? Instead of nicer, or good, or righteous, genuine, loving, kind desire?

They used words like Fuck, Sin, Lust, Debauchery, Hot. And told me that I  to use their words. When I was young. Words like sin and lust were bad words. Sin meant to do something deliberately wrong and evil. Lust meant... or implied... wanting something in an angrier way. Or to want something that is not yours (which was a sin). Debauchery also means to degrade. And I was told to aim for debauchery.

I was told that I was too much of an angel and unicorn. And that i needed more "lust". Ie, bad, dirty, filthy, "wrong" desire.

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I will talk about it more later.

They would ask me things like, do you want to whip them??

Umm. My personal preference was that I want to sleep with women who I can be nice to? Nice seems better than not nice? But that seemed weird within your culture.

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Umm. There is actually a total culture clash?? Because my natural inclination is to be pleasant?

But I actually don't think that their culture is pleasant.

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Misc Background


Aka stuff i have read

Dutch Tulip Mania (a book)
South Sea Company Bubble (a book)
Company store scrip (encyclopedia)
The history of company towns (history of USA and English labour movement

The history of Dutch and English trading outposts etc. multiple books iirc

Bank runs, lots lol
Food shortages and famine economics, multiple books and articles

I have learned lots of things about the history of trade, commerce, Industrial Revolution, accounting etc investment, bubbles, history, shipping. Weird funny things that people do. People are kinda insane throughout history lol.

Economics:

Read about these

Reforms introduced in favour of the “system”
Neo liberalism: Mont Pelerin society, Chicago school, Friedman, Maggie Thatcher ruining coal and working class industries (there is no alternative)

Iirc (for the nz audience) the mont pelerin think tank influenced both left and right in nz around late 80s and early 90s. Even Hayek, Mises were a part of it. Along with some Chicago school people.

Iirc, I read this book: Mike Dash
Tulipomania: The Story of the World's Most Coveted Flower & the Extraordinary Passions It Aroused

It was a fantastic book. A lot of fun, and you learn a lot.


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What goes up must come down. Usually lol.

Or the flip side lolol

“The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent”

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Unforeseen consequences:



This is related to a topic that came up in conversation. There have been similar issues with snakes and rats in other places. Rats and plague in Europe too iirc.

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Reminder: write about “stiff ankles, and gait” later.

Also, wave of “symptoms”.

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Jargon:




Personal internal vocabulary: quality, low quality

I used a definition vaguely linked to the word quality described in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Repair. It isn’t a direct definition, just inspired by it. I only ever read the cliff notes of the book though.

I know I use the word or phrase “low quality” over and over again.

Idk if this helps? But I have my own internal jargon.
It just means stuff reminiscent of … “not very good, doesn’t work very well, workman ship is poor, it is falling apart, can’t be repaired because the materials are poor, I wouldn’t rely on it etc”

Google zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance quality pirsig


Ps: kinda, but not really. But at the end of the day, the map is not the territory.

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Clarifications on China 


I think that the Chinese people are pretty cool, and that extends as far as probably including a fair bit of the CCP membership (and the Chinese diaspora). But I just don’t like Mao or his legacy.

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I am not actually at war with the system, or these people.

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The four pests campaign.


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History


Just a few snippets from the history of the People’s Republic of China…

Ummm. It is just misc from Wikipedia?? I can't really explain the whole thing. It is a tiny bit sloppy.

- segment from wikipedia -

The Thought Reform Movement first began in September 1951, following a speech by premier Zhou Enlai calling for intellectuals to reform their thought. The People's Daily called for teachers and college staff to "arm oneself with the thought of Marxism–Leninism" and to "throw away the vulgar perspectives of individualism and liberalism, and the cultural thought of European-American reactionary bourgeoisie".

Intellectuals who studied overseas were forced to confess to their role as "implementers of the imperialist cultural invasion", while writers across the country were ordered to study Mao's lectures in the "Talk at Yan'an Forum on Literature and Art" and engage in self-criticism. During the movement, many school curricula were restructured, with science and engineering adapting the Soviet models, while courses seen as "pseudo-bourgeois", such as sociology, political science, and economics, were abolished.

- end segment from Wikipedia -


My stuff:

They "reformed" science by adopting Soviet models of science (including a lot of pseudoscience), and throwing some western models of science out. And they abolished basic economics from the curriculum.

And then they did the "great leap forward", 1958-1962 which was followed by the great famine (cause and effect: the policies of the great leap forward caused the great famine).

Basically they tried to rapidly develop the economy. And failed. And then 30 million people starved to death. They tried to rapidly develop, but they did it without proper science or economics. And they also tried to use the (failed) models of collective agriculture that had been used in the USSR. 

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And then Mao (and the CCP) was afraid of losing power and control, so he created the red guard movement (young people mostly) and started the cultural revolution so as to as to distract people from the failures of the great leap forward (massive economic problems, famine, starvation and death). A lot of people died in the cultural revolution. It was awful. They also engaged in public torture and humiliation sessions known as “struggle sessions”.

Eventually the red guards got so bad that the army had to be used to put a stop to them.

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Jung Chang wrote a good book about Mao called, “Mao: the unknown story”. It is well worth reading, I would recommend it to anyone interested in Mao and the cultural revolution. Other than that, if you want to understand what happened with Mao, the Great Leap Forward, and the Cultural Revolution, then there are other good histories out there. Some basic study of ecology, science (botany and genetics), and economics may also be useful. Some study of similar situations under totalitarian societies like the killing fields in Cambodia, the holocaust in Nazi Germany, the forced “liquidation” of the kulaks in Russian and Ukraine might be useful. Also, some understanding of political theory, including (but not limited to) Marxist theory may be useful. 

The opening of the three body problem by Cixin Liu has a segment in it describing the repression (murder) of a physicist talking about western theories of science during the cultural revolution. It is a good book. I enjoyed reading it, and the sequel (the dark forest). I strongly recommend the Three Body Problem by Cixin Liu.

I would also suggest reading up on Lysenkoism and also the efforts to introduce collective farming in the USSR. And the Red Guards (a student led paramilitary terrorist organisation). By the way, the Russian collectivist farming methods were a disaster. Reading about collective farming in the USSR is a must for people who are into economics.

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Tldr
Mao, and the CCP controlled PRC, bans economics and western science in favour of Maoist thinking and Soviet science.

Then later on does the great leap forward (including repeating the failed Soviet policies of collective farming and agriculture) resulting in massive problems and many deaths by starvation. And then in the biggest arse covering moment of all of history, invents the red guards and starts the cultural revolution to deflect attention from the failures caused by the cultural revolution and the Great Leap Forward.

The death toll of the great famine was 20-40 million people (3 percent of the population).

The death toll of the cultural revolution was 1-2 million

The death toll by cannibalism was about 421

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Here are a few sections worth reading about Chinese history. And some links worth following. But to truly understand it you probably need to learn some economics, history, and science.

1. Read Jung Chang's Biography of Mao, “Mao: the Unknown Story”.
2. Read the Three Body Problem by Cixin Liu.
3. Read as much history as you can about the Great Leap Forward, The Great Famine, The Cultural Revolution, and the Red Guards from wikipedia or the encyclopaedia Britannica

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Here is an article about the failings of collective agriculture in the USSR. It is extremely important, because it shows that the failed policies of the USSR were replicated by Mao in China. They failed in the USSR, killed millions of people, and then were repeated by Mao. 
He knew that the policies failed in the USSR, and yet did them anyway.


https://www.britannica.com/money/collectivization

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See also:

- wikipedia segment about the red guards -

The Red Guards were radical groups of mainly middle and high school students who violently enforced the Cultural Revolution (1966-1976) in China, spurred by Mao Zedong's call to purge "bourgeois" and "counter-revolutionary" elements from society and the Communist Party to ensure his absolute authority. They engaged in public humiliation, destruction of traditional culture (the "Four Olds"), and widespread violence against intellectuals, party officials, and others, leading to chaos and millions of deaths. The movement's destructive phase eventually ended with Mao's death and the Gang of Four's downfall, though its impact left a lasting scar on China's society and economy.

- end wikipedia segment -


- wikipedia segment Lysenko -

In 1940, Lysenko became director of the Institute of Genetics of the Soviet Academy of Sciences, and he used his political influence and power to suppress dissenting opinions and discredit, marginalize, and imprison his critics, elevating his anti-Mendelian theories to state-sanctioned doctrine.
Soviet scientists who refused to renounce genetics were dismissed from their posts and left destitute. Hundreds if not thousands of others were imprisoned. Several were sentenced to death as enemies of the state, including the botanist Nikolai Vavilov, whose sentence was commuted to prison. Lysenko's ideas and practices contributed to the famines that killed millions of Soviet people; the adoption of his methods from 1958 in the People's Republic of China had similarly calamitous results, contributing to the Great Chinese Famine of 1959 to 1961.

- end wikipedia segment -


- a borrowed segment about collective farming in the ussr -

Collectivisation: Agriculture under Stalin

Schoolshistory.org.uk

Soviet collective farms, or kolkhozes, were agricultural units established by the Soviet government during the forced collectivization of agriculture in the late 1920s and 1930s. The policy aimed to eliminate private land ownership and integrate peasant households into state-controlled cooperatives, increasing agricultural output to feed the urban population and support industrialization. While theoretically cooperative, these farms were dominated by state authorities, forcing peasants to sell produce at low, fixed prices and adhere to strict production quotas. This process was often violent and led to significant resistance, widespread famines, and the destruction of traditional lifestyles. 

- end segment -


- begin segment on wikipedia article on farming collectivisation efforts in the ussr -

The centuries-old system of farming was destroyed in Ukraine. In 1932–1933, an estimated 11 million people, 3–7 million in Ukraine alone, died from famine after Stalin forced the peasants into collectives. It was not until 1940 that agricultural production finally surpassed its pre-collectivization levels.

- end segment on wikipedia article on collectivisation efforts -

My statement:

As a former student of economics:

Collective farming was awful because the incentives are all wrong. Doing a good job and maximising production doesn't make sense, because you are not rewarded. And the state "Buys" your food anyway at stupidly low prices? So why bother? why should a "rational economic person" work hard to farm land when he isn't responsible for the land, and will not reap the reward for his hard work?

Also, the economics of food production are kind of different to other types of economics.

Ps: "command economies" and rigid economic plans often backfire and cause massive issues.

PPS: Mao also had a bad understanding of ecology, eg the four pests campaign. Which backfired. Link

***

Those who fail to learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them (Santayana).

The Chinese (CCP) failed to learn the lessons of history, and so repeated them.

“History never repeats, but sometimes it echoes.”

***

Firstly, my heart breaks for the Chinese. They deserve better, and have had a difficult time in history. They have not been governed well.

Secondly, ideas matter. And when a member of the CCP, or a marxist-leninist, wants to influence the ideas of your society, you probably want to think twice. Particularly when they involve questions of right and wrong, true and false, real unreal; intentions vs desires vs mere thoughts and impressions of possibilities. Questions of morality and ethics.

Thirdly, I just wanted people to know why get irritated and irate when talking about Mao and the CCP controlled PRC. And I want people to know that I like the Chinese, and I think they are fantastic people. I just don't love the CCP, and I am appalled by the legacy of Mao, and the CCP dominated state of the PRC. I am also disgusted by the way the CCP uphold his memory and hide/conceal history. It is awful. Horrible. The Chinese deserve better.

Conclusion: I am irate about Mao and his legacy, not angry at the Chinese people.

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Book to read


Everyone should read Mao: the Unknown Story, by Jung Chang and John Halliday. It is amazing.



The three body problem by Cixin Liu is amazing. It is the best thing I’ve read from China. It greatly improved my overall impression of China. It is a solid science fiction novel with some segments in it about the cultural revolution.

Link to Amazon, it is worth buying and reading.

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Postscript:


Ideas matter, like the idea that if you "imagine it, you want it".


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A conversation about morality



Autonomy of mind is the ability to think un-coerced and make decisions.

Moral autonomy can also refer to the freedom to make moral decisions based on one’s own values and beliefs.


Moral responsibility?


[intentions vs desires vs mere thoughts and impressions of possibilities]

If I cannot think without being coerced, or by using my own words, how can I have the ability to make judgements based on what I think?

How can I be accountable for my actions?
And who am I accountable to?

How can I hold myself accountable for my own choices, if I cannot even make my own judgements on things? Because I do not have my own words in my own head by which to make judgements?

And according to which set of values shall I judge my decisions? Am I to create my own set of values? If I cannot use my own words in my head. And if I cannot even have access to pen and paper, how was I supposed to form my own world view, values system, or figure out what was good or bad, right or wrong? And therefore how am I supposed to live according to reasonable values?

A while back, I was unable to even hold my own words in my mind, therefore was unable to form my own value system. I did not have a coherent set of values to which to hold myself accountable.

If I am not even allowed to hold words inside my own mind, let alone write them down, where then is moral accountability, and to who, and by what standards?

*

How about I make my own judgements, and hold myself accountable? And do it according to my own standards.

*

My own standards, and accountable to myself.

As opposed to the standards of abc religion, or xyz politico, or political ideology 123. Some of these people, like Paul or Xi, seem to think that I ought be accountable towards them? But the idea of being accountable to a high up member of the CCP is laughable, given their history. let alone one whose father worked as chief publicist to Mao. Why would anyone be accountable to a man like Xi? Furthermore, my father is awful.


*

What are you reading from my mind?


Intention vs desire vs vague thoughts or impressions of imagined possibilities that might exist…?

Maybe an example: “You just looked at my mind to read some vague thoughts and impressions of imagined possibilities and scenarios that may or may not exist, or be able to exist, and then declared that I want them, that I desire them, and that it is my intention to make them happen.”

Perhaps that is just bad thinking, or just bad use of ideas.

These people (fae? CCP, the Xi/Paul syndicate) are not exactly known for their intellectual rigour?

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They acted like “want” existed below the level of conscious thought, and my conscious thoughts didn’t matter.

But if you want to know what I want, or what I like, or what I intend, then you can just ask me.

And sometimes you might try asking better questions. 
Perhaps you might have asked me, given that you can’t shower or go on top, so you even want sex?*

Perhaps you might have asked me.. do you want a “coup”. Or asked me the questions, what do you “like”. What do you appreciate, enjoy, or appreciate.

*answer: what I really want is to have my health fully restored to me!

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Publicity Department


Xi Jinping's father, Xi Zhongxun was head of the Publicity Department of the Central Committee from 1953 to 1954.

The head of the Publicity Department of the Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party is the leader of the Publicity Department, a department of the Central Committee of the Chinese Communist Party (CCP).

Umm. He was the chief of publicity, aka propaganda, for the CCP for a while.

Xi’s father was a chief propagandist for a while? It is an important role, and a dangerous one.

Xi Jinping is the son of a propagandist.

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I reckon my family first started experimenting on me with this technology when I was 8 years old. At about 1996. I might be wrong though.

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// this is a first discussion of things

My mind works


They treat me as though my mind doesn’t work, but it does.

They falsely represent that it doesn’t. They try to present the image to other people that it doesn’t.

They ignore my thoughts as though my brain doesn’t work.

They act as though there is nothing there, but there is.

They act as though my representations of reality are bullshit.

They treat me as though my thoughts are bullshit, and I can’t represent my POV clearly. And they ignore my POV.

*

And my lawyer acts as though my brain isn’t really functioning, and my higher levels of thought can be ignored, as compared with my “underlying” consciousness.

And do they use “mind images” or “emotions” or “brain light ups” to decide sometimes? It is weird.

I actually tried to quit a bunch of times, but was disallowed (See general disambiguation). They keep acting like I want conflict, but I actually want peace.

What I really need is a full 12 months to recover, and what I want is good health.

Talk more later. 

*

This applies to “want” when it pertains to women. I just tell you what I like which is… being able to shower, and go on top lol.

And also to “wanting” a coup (lol, nonsense)

*

They have this weird idea that if my imagination shows something, like images of warehouses with pieces of steel hanging in them, that somehow I am at war with the fae.

I am not sure why they feel this way.

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I’d really love to have peace, quiet, and privacy. A cat and a stack of books.

Good health, good fitness, good posture, good coordination, and to recover some ability in things like sport, martial arts, yoga or whatever. And the ability to comfortably go for long walks on uneven ground. And the ability to get down on the ground comfortably to play with a cat, or a child. And maybe the ability to do some gentle, easy climbing (on climbing walls).

And to have time to read some Discworld, drink strong black tea. And other books. As well as privacy, peace and quiet. And the ability to sleep without worrying about being woken up.

And the ability to cook my own food, clean my own house. And to comfortably play first person shooters, and real time strategies.

And the ability to shower!!!!!

And to be able to breathe freely and easily. And to be moderately and tolerably strong and flexible.

// enough for now

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Business School Guy


At age twenty I was a business school guy who read business books. And I was from a Christian (evangelical/fundamentalist) background.

Books: Investment, management, biographies, histories, and general.

At the time felt that I ought to have been a science guy. But I was not. I was a business school guy.

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Respect for Deng


I read a little bit about Chinese history while studying commerce at university (2008). I thought that Mao was irredeemably evil, but that Deng was a good leader.

I thought that Deng was worthy of respect, and that he saved China.

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Lesley Jones (Amanda’s mother) was a functioning alcoholic.

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These guys went all in on a software/hardware solution provided by American geeks. Including ai and ui.

I think there is maybe a 40-50% chance that it fails?

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Daydreaming as leisure activity


Day dreaming is a leisure activity, or at least it can be. I used to do it for pleasure. It is one of my favourite activities. Whether it be mentally gardening or cooking, or inventing a home appliance in my mind, I enjoy it. I like thinking about workouts, I like imagining shadow boxing and training techniques, I like thinking about economics, ideas for businesses, new structures for human civilisation (aka civilisational design*), imagining new religions or belief systems. Or doing thought experiments about science and technology. Sometimes I might day dream about something like “basic fit” as a way to relax? Or to take a break??

Back when I was in university I used to do thinking work while walking to university and back. Like manipulating economics graphs in my mind, or recalling and manipulating and analysing equations in my head, just to understand them. I also used to recall and list and analyse definitions and concepts from my commerce courses in my head, just to understand them better? It was just part of studying and learning?

And even now, I sometimes use daydreaming as a form of relaxation. Like might analyse a new invention such as the kung fu training dummy, or gardening table, or a video game idea as a way to take a break from the bullshit. Or dream up fitness ideas. You think I’m just doing your bidding, but sometimes I go with the flow lol, just to take a break. I will pick a topic to think about, while 50% talking about it.

Day dreaming can very often be a good leisure activity. A form of relaxation. It can be something that one does for its own sake.

*note, I used to read a fair bit of science fiction, as well as books like “the clock of the long now”


[A fun quote: Flow with whatever may happen and let your mind be free; stay centered by accepting whatever you are doing. This is the ultimate.]


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One example of a mental technique:

I used to day dream of walking my old walking route near 17 Princeton Road as a way to relax and calm myself. Kind of like a mental technique?? Feel of the ground, sound of footfall. Wind on my skin, the environment.

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Background on Amanda's Parents


Amanda's parents were punks in their youth. Her Dad was in a punk band called Goatrider at one point. He later become a lay teacher in the Anglican Church.

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Story about Elmo


Someone torched Elmo, our Honda Civic 88, when we lived in town. They just lit it on fire one night. This was when Amanda and I lived in Newtown, a suburb in Wellington south of the basin reserve.

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Structures


I first found the book "structures or why things don’t fall down" by JE Gordon on a blog at the age of about 21. I read it, and "why you don't fall through the floor". Also, Jane Jacobs, "the life and death of the American city". The moment I read those books, I knew i had found something beautiful. Something I wanted. Two books on engineering, biomechanics and city design. I found them on a libertarian design. As well as links to the Ludwig von Mises website. Where I developed an interest in the "austrian school of economics". I'll tidy this comment up later".

Tldr: I fell in love with JE Gordon's "structures or why things don't fall down" when I was about 20. It was love at first sight. I still love that book.

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Rugby


I played lunch time tackle rugby at school when I was about 8-10 years old, and plenty of it. I loved it.

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Humour


A snapshot of my type of humour:

Quote :
"The smell of banks is always pleasing, don't you think?" said Vetinary. "A mixture of polish and ink and wealth."
"And ursery", said Moist.
"That would be cruelty to bears. You mean usury, I suspect. ..."

https://wiki.lspace.org/Ursery

I love Pratchett, I love his work so much. I’m a Pratchett guy. 

I love Terry Pratchett, Douglas Adams and strong cups of tea (with milk, no sugar - thanks!).

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I like word play, and puns.

I love a good spoof/satire.

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Someone asked if he was an ape? 

*

All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.

*

Falling angel, rising ape.

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Misc philosophical concept


“A map is not the territory it represents, but, if correct, it has a similar structure to the territory, which accounts for its usefulness".
- Korzybski

Remember: the map is not the territory, the word is not the thing, the model is not the same as the same as the thing being modelled. The words used are not the same as the thing being described.


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Misc Philosophical Quote


The fish trap exists because of the fish. Once you've gotten the fish you can forget the trap. The rabbit snare exists because of the rabbit. Once you've gotten the rabbit, you can forget the snare. Words exist because of meaning. Once you've gotten the meaning, you can forget the words. Where can I find a man who has forgotten words so I can talk with him?

- Zhuangzi

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Grandpa


Michael Whitfield Foster worked for Shell Oil, and was a graduate of the London School of Economics.

His father worked for Shell also.

Michael Foster wrote a history of Shell in New Zealand.

*

The history is “She'll be right at last"

Link here: https://collection.motat.nz/objects/46925/shell-be-right-at-last-the-final-version-of-a-corrected-extended-and-wholly-rewritten-history-of-shell-in-new-zealand

*

He also wrote other histories including “A Comedy of Errors, or, The Marriage Records of England and Wales, 1837-1899” part one and two. He also did a couple on Karori and the Boer War.

He wrote legitimate amateur history.

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David: I reckon Chris Farley (SNL, Beverly Hills Ninja, Almost Heroes) was a good guy. But I don’t know for sure. Probably got killed/suicided. “Overdose” they say, but I don’t know.


Beverly Hills Ninja was a great movie. One of my favourites as a kid.

**

Matthew Perry (co-star in Farley’s last movie, almost heroes) died of ketamine while in the bath. No one dies of ketamine in the bath. No one gets into a bath on ketamine, it’s a very strong sedative/downer. “Accidental death” involving drugs seems to be a pattern among celebrities unpopular with the system. Or who are being targeted, suicided.

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Public health officials caused a lot of the deaths that occurred in the Spanish flu. And probably spread the disease itself, on purpose.

**

I reckon that public health officials from Cambridge spread the black plague in Manchuria on purpose in about 1911, to weaken the national homeland of the Manchus, just when China was due to have a revolution. And they did a lockdown too.

Also, mongols and Manchus were both prominent in China, and leaders. Also, nomads and horselords had influence and power all along the steppe. And even had a lot of influence in Russia once upon a time. Turks are similar origin to mongols, as are Kazakhs. Sort of. Learning about the men of the steppe is very important. Dan Carlin’s stuff on the mongols is a good start. Glhf.

Public health: same people that withheld or downplayed Ehrlich’s cure for syphilis. Ehrlich invented chemo by the way. He was a Liberal German-Jew who worked with a Japanese guy to create Salvarsan. Germans, Jews and Japanese are all cool. There are a lot of lies told about all three, in particular the first two.








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