New text dump

New text dump:

Misc ideas that come to me:

// I just dump things in here. It’s really messy

// don’t read this page, it’s all garbage, I use it kind of like a drop box lol

// sometimes it’s just snippets for conversations

// umm, don’t take it as literal truth, just misc

// New text dump because the old one is lagging

*********

Conflict

The system believes me to be in conflict with it. But disagree. I am not in conflict with it.

I am not in conflict with Xi Jinping, and I don’t want to be?

8-9 months ago they believed me to be in conflict with it? Even though I wasn’t. And maybe they kept hurting me because they hallucinated a conflict?

****

// here are a few segments, but they aren’t amazing

Visualisation

My minds eye has gone mostly dark. The lighting levels have decreased by about 90%. I just plain can’t see properly in my mind. Everything is in shadow. I have shadowy dark images when I imagine things (And a tiny bit of spatial awareness).

And I value my mind…

****

Other, especially Christmas

Back in Khandallah, they wanted me to do Christmas. That is, they wanted me to sleep with a ton of women in a hurry. And they planned to do the ”magic wand” after the first one, so that I could recover quickly enough to enjoy Christmas?? But it wasn’t really viable. I think their ideas relating to occupational therapy, physiotherapy, and the “bat bolar” are nonsense. Let me rephrase that: I don’t think that the human body works the way that they think it works.

They think that I would recover really fast. Like in a couple of days. But I think that it would take a year to fully recover.

***

And later on, they wanted ten per day… they wanted me to win the movenpick, and then have ten women per day. Given my standard of health, I don’t think that I could enjoy ten women per day.

***

Dislocated shoulder

In the past I actually dislocated my left shoulder. I tried to rest and/or sleep on my side (both left and right). But ended up dislocating my shoulder!!? And from then I had to deliberately keep it in socket.

Given the inner muscle abrades, it has been difficult to maintain my left shoulder. It has often been loose in its joint.

****

Almost every time I had gone to doctors in the past, they had either harmed me, or actively made me worse.

****

There is always more to my story.

****

Husband and wife

Going back to about the age of twenty, Amanda was my wife. We were a married couple. We were Christians, she cared about me and I cared about her.

She converted to Christianity in her final year of high school, and was later baptised at the Coast Community Church.

But she was dishonest and unfaithful. Everyone knew, and no one told me. It was a conspiracy of silence. I was kept in the dark.

Friends, family, local church (ccc), extended family. All were in on it.

There was (and is) a lot of money in it.

More relevant: I experienced extremely poor health as a result of constant/frequent electronic “abrades”. I wasn’t doing well physically.

***

Amanda and relationship:

Amanda was my wife, we were a couple, and I loved her.

I basically enjoyed normal sex with her.

It was nice. I loved her and I cared about her. And I treated her like I loved and cared about her. I enjoyed sleeping with her. I was happy with her, at least in that way.

Why did I post this? It is because someone asked??? It is really awkward, but here it is. You can actually check back to memory clips from when I was about 20 to find more info. Ummm.

****

Not de-conditioning

From late 2016 to 2022, I was walking back and forth through the house for about one to two hours per day, cumulatively. I did a lot of walking. I did it to help with general fitness, and to “let my back settle”. It was the only exercise I could do.

I ought to have fully recovered the full use of my legs and arms and overall torso + back from walking. However, I did not.

Some people like to suggest that it was just de-conditioning. But it was not.

They were keeping my body and torso locked down long term using my own muscles. Which muscles? I think that they were using muscles like the iliacus, psoas, latissimus dorsi, and possibly the upper shoulders (like levator scapulae, or romboids).

It also wasn’t caffeine use.

***

Squats

In 2022 I started doing squats every day. I figured out how to do squats, and I built up volume until I was able to so a couple of hundred per day. I kept up this level of volume for quite some time (months?).

I had to learn to do special type squats, because of my “hip tighten abrade”. I.e. I had long term hip tightening by remote control.

The 100s of squats I did were not enough to cause me to recover. This is because the fae kept my muscles locked down. I was unaware of the remote control muscle tightening.

***

Floors in Khandallah

There was very, very thick memory foam just beneath the carpet. It was awful. My feet sank deep into the carpet, and my feet hurt. I had to hold my feet stiffly all the time. And it shifted my weight towards my heels. My ankles were stiff, and it had a flow on effect to my hips, back, neck and everything. It was horrible. It had a significant effect on my balance.

****

Rehabilitation

They think that it will take just a couple of days for me to recover once they stop controlling my muscles. But I think that it will take about a year for me to fully recover and rehabilitate.

****

Floors

I am currently walking around on floors that have memory foam beneath the vinyl. This causes me problems with my feet, ankles and hips.

Please note: I already have problems with my feet, ankles, hips and back.

****

Further information about floors

Walking on these floors damages my body awareness.

Given that I am dealing with long term “muscle abrades” , I.e. long term tightening of my iliacus and psoas and lats etc that have disabled my hips and damaged my back, these floors impair my body awareness very badly.

There is more to my story than that paragraph, but I am merely providing it for information.

***

There is a synergistic relationship between the floors (memory foam + vinyl) and the long term muscle tightening abrades.

The overall effect is really pretty horrible.

****

Question:

Could I have “used” (or enjoyed) the Movenpick to the fullest?

Answer:

It will take me ages to physically rehabilitate. This means that I wouldn’t be able to “use” or enjoy it that much. At least at first.

****

Christian bookshop

When the local Christian book shop in Taupo went out of business, my parents took over. And my mother’s craft shop was used as the local Christian bookshop. We had several shelves of Christian books for sale.

We had friends who were missionaries. They went overseas to preach in crazy places.

My parents had a lot of friends involved in ministry. Especially youth ministry. They would often come to stay.

Quite a few staff from my Dad’s Christian Music Instrument shop in Taupo went to get involved in things like the Excel Performing Arts School, a significant Christian NZ performing arts school.

This was all back when I was young (eleven and younger) and living in Taupo.

One more additional note: when I was young my father had a shelf full of ministry books at home (and other Christian books) and I read all of them. He was a youth pastor at one point.

Later on (in Hawkes Bay), I went to a Presbyterianism church. Which was a little more “liberal” in outlook. And it was actually pretty good for me. And the youth group was fun. I don’t want to waste peoples time with more description here.

****

Date night

Amanda and I used to have dates back at 17 Princeton Road. We would get either cake or burgers. We would sit and talk for a bit. I’d make us some strong tea. Maybe listen to music. It wasn’t much, but it was important that we had a date, usually once per week.

We played pass the pigs, exploding kittens, and a wooden stacking animal balancing game.

And so we used to have dates. Even between 2016 and 2022.

That was about the best I could do!!?…

***

Between 2012 and 2016, we would sometimes go out for a date. To get cake of something.

****

Day dreaming

I am a massive day dreamer, I love day dreaming. I dream up ideas and scenarios all day. People always used to tell me that I had my head in the clouds too much. For example, walking to and from school while day dreaming used to be my favourite part of day when I was a teenager.

What do I day dream about? I used to think about inventions and businesses when I was young. I was all about inventions, businesses and products. That is what I day dreamed about most. Other than video games. Of course I thought about a lot of other scenarios, like which character I might like to be in a movie, or whatever I’d do in a particular book. Or a potential relationship.

I would think about money.. and how to make it. I sometimes think about martial arts, and the strategy of boxing or something. Or I think of school work, graphs, numbers etc. I think about how to modify sums and/or numbers in my head. Or I run through definitions in my head etc.

Day dreaming is a must! I can’t do without it. I kinda need it just to be human at all.

Having people inside my head all day is horrible for me. It is so painful. I don’t have any real time alone inside my head??

Solitude is nice. I used to enjoy it. But now I can’t either??

Solitude, peace, quiet, and time to think… I love those things so much..??

I love having time alone inside my own head.

I like The Pedestrian by Ray Bradbury. It used to be my favourite book. I used to walk just to have time to think. Or just for air.

Ps: Sometimes the blanking in my head is so bad that I just can’t think at all. They hurt my brain so, so much. It is awful. They have done so much of it. So much pain to my brain. It hurts, and I cannot think.

****

They have this dumb idea that I am “fighting the system” because I have mind images to that effect. But they ignore all of my protestations to the contrary.

****

The scientific method

I was taught the basics about the scientific method in school. We learned about making observations and doing background reading, we learned about forming testable hypotheses, conducting experiments, analysing data, and drawing conclusions. And we learned about the way that conclusions can lead to more questions. And also learned a bit about the theories involved in taking measurements in physics. I studied general science up until fifth form, and physics in sixth and seventh form.

Once I got to university, I decided that I wanted to know a bit more about science, and the scientific methods. So I went to the university library to find a few books about the scientific method. I checked them out, and read them. They were general sorts of books about the scientific method and problems associated with the field of science, and they were written by proper academics.

I wanted to learn about the underlying theories, practices and philosophies of science. And so I did. I did it by reading a few basic books in the field of science from the Victoria University library when I was 20.

Later in life, I listened to the following lecture series from the great courses by the teaching company (acquired by Amazon): Great Scientific Ideas That Changed the World by Steven L. Goldman. It was 36 lectures long. Goldman was the Andrew W. Mellon Distinguished Professor in the Humanities at Lehigh University (now emeritus). He was in the philosophy department. Here is a link to his biography, it is worth a quick read.

Biography of Steven L. Goldman.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_L._Goldman

Here is a link to the course I did on great courses:

https://www.thegreatcoursesplus.com/great-scientific-ideas-that-changed-the-world

Link

****

I also listened to this series by Daniel N. Robinson:

The Great Ideas of Philosophy, 2nd Edition - Daniel N. Robinson, 60 lectures

Blurb for the course: “Explore the entire western philosophical tradition in this comprehensive introduction to the topic taught by a member of the philosophy department at Oxford.”

He was an American psychologist who was a professor of psychology at Georgetown University and later in his life became a fellow of the faculty of philosophy at Oxford University. His fields of research included philosophy of mind, philosophy of psychology, philosophy of law, history of psychology.

Link to the professor’s biography

Link to the course itself

****

Monday, 21st July 2025

Xi Jinping declared me totally victorious, because I shagged Dasha and loved it. It is up to the women of NZ to honour it (the victory).

He also said “Dumb bitch ho’s”. (He called them dumb bitch ho’s.)

****

// this is a pretty slapdash explanation

Some people frame it as: you got conned out of a billion dollars. I don’t see it that way. I see it as… I got treated really badly from 18-36, and suffered horribly from age 28-34. And I wasn’t allowed to just move on with my life. The money was a side issue for me.

And then there was the other thing to do with politics. I have explained that elsewhere. But I haven’t done a good job of explaining it. Yet. There is some stuff in the general disambiguation explaining that I wanted peace instead of conflict. And some stuff in the “new text dump” explaining what it is.

I had wanted to abandon the project/hobby ages ago?? But they kinda wouldn’t let me leave???

****

Sarah lawyer:

I'll probably keep her for about 3 months to 6 months (starting when I am ready) Although I could technically keep her in perpetuity. Or like ten years.

I'll be quote mined for the things I said in wifi.

I’m pretty kind hearted and fair minded though. And I’ll treat her well, and be pleasant etc

Tongue in cheek here: She can be my ethically sourced, fair trade, “evil girlfriend”. And she was the one who suggested that she be mine in perpetuity, so do with her as I please (similarly to the others).

****

Repost:

Between bluff and today

Between Bluff (14th March) and today (15th August), (five months) I experienced an enormous amount of physical mistreatment, a great deal of pain and suffering, and incurred severe and lasting physical damage.

Exact definitions (i.e. torture, or torment, or cruel and unusual punishment) can be tricky within this philosophical (semantic/philological/linguistic/etymological) environment. But it has been pretty severe.

Also, maybe they are doing this to cover their arses regarding what happened from 2016 to 2022.

I am deliberately vague about what/who "they" are. But try thinking of it in terms of the business syndicate + friends/associates. See the syndicate post for more information. Paul, Xi, Siobhan, Brynn, Joseph, Matthew, Amanda, Anna, Clare, Sarah; others involved but not core members: Wu Lei, Way, Jesse, etc. also, modi and g.w. Bush. John Key’s wife Bronagh.

****

The last five months suffering and harm occurred after I attempted multiple times to offer to walk away empty handed (just to be safe, and to rehabilitate) AND after I tried to negotiate a peace back in Raine Street. Please see the General Disambiguation post for more information.

****

Solution:

Siobhan, Brynn, Sarah and Clare all said that they are mine in perpetuity. To do with them as I please.

This solves a game theory situation. And gives me guilt free access to them for sex.

You can see a few more details in the microblog. Or in the history.

I am attracted to, and interested, in all four of them.

It is an excellent solution. And we have already arranged it.

Ps: they are my “four evil girl friends” which means I feel no guilt about keeping them long term.

***

I have already solved the problem. And I am not at war with the system. Or Xi. And I already slept with Dasha, and Xi already declared me victorious, based on sleeping with Dasha (see micro blog - and then look back at the “memory archives”).

****

Please see Monday 21st of July:

Here is what I put up then..?

Xi declared me totally victorious, because I shagged Dasha and loved it. It is up to the women of NZ to honour it (the victory).

He also said “Dumb b**** ho’s”

****

Deprivation of hygiene from 2016 - 2022:

Between 2016 and 2022, Paul, Joseph, Siobhan, Brynn, Amanda, Xi and their syndicate used my own muscles to deny me the use of my own arms and legs. I lacked the mobility to wash myself from 2016 to 2022. I experienced total deprivation of basic hygiene. It is a form of severe physical and mental degradation. I didn’t even really feel like a human being.

Total deprivation of hygiene is a form of significant torture. I didn’t even feel like a person. I felt like I was living like some sort of animal.

I had dead skin a millimetre thick on my back built up.. and the integrity of my skin was breaking down. I had dead skin, thick, on my legs and arms. Long toenails. And very thick dead skin on my feet. It was disgusting. I couldn’t wash my backside. Skin was breaking down a bit around that area. It was really bad. I didn’t wash my hair for 7 years. I had a very thick layer of grime on my scalp. I also couldn’t take proper care of my teeth. Or the skin on my face.

I had to have help from a woman to even wash my armpits and back. But that was challenging to cope with.

It was awful. People ought not to have to live like that.

Ps: that doesn’t even cover other issues like having to hold my body stiff, even just to walk. Or massive loss of body awareness. And inability to even sit to stand from the toilet.

****

Between bluff and today

Also, maybe they are doing this to cover their arses regarding what happened from 2016 to 2022.

I am deliberately vague about what/who "they" are. But try thinking of it in terms of the business syndicate + friends/associates. See the syndicate post for more information. Paul, Xi, Siobhan, Brynn, Joseph, Matthew, Amanda, Anna, Clare, Sarah; Wu Lei, Way, Jesse, etc. also, modi and g.w. Bush. John Key’s wife Bronagh.

****

Ummm. My time in 17 Princeton Road from 2016 to 2022 was awful for a variety of other reasons. It is explained in “torso of integrity compromised” and “how I got this way part 2”. I had to hold my body stiffly all the time, among other problems, just to hold myself up. I couldn’t “feel” my body properly. That is an inadequate explanation.. but there is other stuff I have written elsewhere.

****

// treat this as information, more than anything else, about my past life

A bit from my history:

I used to be pretty religious. Here are two verses and an explanation.

A piece from the sermon in the mount:

You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

A piece from one of Paul's letter to the Corinthians

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

I used to avoid thoughts of lust, when young. And if a lustful thought occured, i'd avoid it. It was okay to have a thought about sex go through your mind. But dwelling on it was a problem. The dwelling on it was a “sin”. So had to practice control over thoughts. I wasn’t good at it. Actually, I was pretty good at it, without being perfect. But it was part of my life, part of my fabric of existence.

I wasn’t supposed to look at a woman with lust in my heart lol. I was supposed to “take captive every thought”.

So I just wasn’t sending good reading of “desire” or “lust” to the system. Because I did not ruminate on sex much. And I did not have strong physical readings of physical desire? Which means that when young, the systems did not read my body signals well. You might have been receiving low quality signals from the machines.

I also wasn’t supposed to look at particular types of images or videos.

****

There might be a conversation to have on the idea of a “posture set point”. I’m not even sure if that is the proper term. Or made up term. But I think that the tighten muscles internally changes your posture set point?? And it is not just “deconditioning”. But we can talk later.

I already said that it might take about a year to recover and rehabilitate…

Actual discussion later…

****

I can’t wash at the moment, so I don’t want to have sex. Too dirty??

****

I actually have four promised to me, in perpetuity. They offered themselves, in perpetuity, to do with them as I please. Also, I have one available short term.

I guess they predicted that I’d treat them well? Given my underlying nature and temperament.

That might be enough for now??

****

Misc explanation:

I can explain later: even back as far as 2019 I wasn’t out to get Xi. I saw the enemy as corporate power (etc) and an international system that had become unresponsive to change by means of voting and/or democracy. Xi claims I was out to get him and his system. But I wasn’t out to get him. I didn’t see him as the enemy.

Who ran things globally: Corporations, tech companies, cia, banks, capital, fund management entities, and other entities. Also politicians. Basically unable to be controlled via democracy. And smaller countries, you can’t set terms of trade. And either politicians you can vote for nothing.

CCP in PRC also existed. But was a little bit separate.

Don’t over think it.

I wasn’t out to get him. He was out to get me!!

****

Brynn:

Question: would you like to have sex with person x

Answer: no, I do not. Reason: I am covered in dead skin, and I can’t get on top.

Question: but are they attractive?

Answer: yes, they are attractive. Yes, they are “hot” (yes, they are quote unquote “hot”). I judge them to be beautiful, desirable and attractive. She is sexually appealing, at least in terms of appearance.

Question: do you want her as a person in your life, long term?

Answer: she is too awful of a person for me to genuinely love? And care about!? Why would I want to have her as my long term girlfriend by voluntary free association? No. I don’t really want her as a girlfriend. Unsure as to other relationship status.

Umm.

Her on top…

***

Amanda why sex: after 2016

1. She wanted kids, and wanted sex frequently. Sometimes twice a day. Duty. If your wife is getting on in years, and wants kids. It is your duty to give her kids. So I did. I had delayed for years before 2016, because timing/money/health wasn’t good. And I doubted Amanda’s ability to be a decent mother.

2. We started having sex sometime after the 2016 thing happened. Because she said “it is hard to feel loved without sex”, she wanted to start back having sex. For the ask of “intimacy”. So figured out how to make it work. It was challenging at first, but we worked it out. It took ages to figure out and relearn how to have sex. After the body fell apart.

3. Why not? I’d she asked to start back up after my body fell apart, and she insists on kids. Why not enjoy a tiny bit of fleeting pressure in my horrible, horrible life.

Note: I sometimes had to force myself to get aroused before we could have sex, because she was ovulating. Also, if I was too cold during the day (I couldn’t wear clothes sometimes, remember) I might struggle.. (I sometimes couldn’t wear a shirt for - couple of days).

****

Do definitions?? I am pedantic about definitions. But actually pretty reasonable. There is sometimes a conflict

Maybe it isn’t definitions. Maybe it is just poor user interface design??

Eg. They think that receiving certain signals in their tummy that let them know that I feel it in my tummy means “arousal/desire”. The “signals” work. Technically. They do. You can get the signals through to me. And back from me. But they don’t mean anything.

Conversation space it instead:

In practice, if you want to know, who am I into? Just ask. Do you want to shag her?? Is she your cup of tea, do you want her to be your long term girlfriend???

****

Sarah:

Back in school, I kinda wanted a girl friend who was smart enough to be interesting. Clare, Emma, and Catherine Little, and Sarah were smart enough (top 4). I didn’t know Catherine. Sarah was smart enough (3rd smartest in year). But I always thought that she was too plain. Tall and plain, with freckles. And an odd voice too. And I day dreamed often about how I didn’t really want her. How I ought to, but just couldn’t really make myself feel attracted to her.

I think that she is just bitter, and I don’t want her as my lawyer.

I ran the counter factual: what if I had dated someone different in school? Instead of Amanda? ( Sarah/lawyer) was one of the few girls smart enough to be interesting to me. I ran this counterfactual many times in my head… dozens and dozens of times.

In hindsight, Sarah was a strong contender, due to her intellect and academic ability. But in looks, she was so so. I thought about this often. (There was a long conversation about this).

****

My dad and Xi worked together constructively over 9 years to get me to the point where I say “I just do whatever”. That was the whole point. I wasn’t in conflict with them. They just hounded an innocent and decent person who could have been reasoned with (you need to read a bunch of stuff, including general disambiguation before you can understand this segment). Also, I had been trying to quit multiple times.

They tormented me extremely badly. Including the 6 years of torment (2016-2022) and including the last 5 months. Just to get me to then point where I’d say it.

So I’m not giving them what they want.

****

FWIW, I am kind hearted, reasonable, compassionate, and humane. Ummm. And absent minded. Very absent minded?! And sometimes I get the wrong end of the stick. I am a bit uptight, and pedantic. Quite obsessive too.

Ummm. What if someone were to hound and attack someone who was defenseless, and unaware. And chase him down for 10 years?

****

What is a tech challenge?

Someone asked… Technology challenge is like... solve a problem using only masking tape, straws and newspaper. For example, making a tall tower using only masking tape. Or making a bridge to support a brick out of nothing but straws. Or filter gravel and rice apart using nothing but straws and masking tape. Or launch a table tennis ball into the sky using all three.

I also like entrepreneur product daydreams, where you come up with replicable product ideas.

****

My plan/hope is to…. ?

Wait a month, and then hide my blog’s main pages.

Then recover and rehabilitate for eleven months.

At that point, August 12th 2026. I will then spend time with the three evil girlfriends, if they still exist?

The blog will go stale at some point, and then I can pull it down eventually.

I am not pulling the blog down any time soon, I need it for safety.

I’ll be okay.. 👍 😁

As for Xi: don’t have a plan to harm him through abrades? And I don’t really want to either.

****

One really important thing:

You have been lied to. You have been told that it’ll take a few days (or a couple of weeks) for me to be released from the “muscle bindings”. It reality, it will take me about one year to recover and fully rehabilitate (that is an estimate).

Some of the physiotherapy and occupational therapy that they believe is pseudoscience.

****

Some general history/stories

At twenty years oldish. Around 2008.

When we were both still at university, Amanda and I lived in an apartment in 6 Hanson Street, Mount Cook, Wellington. But city life wasn’t for us. It was too noisy, and someone set our car on fire. So we moved back to Paraparaumu.

Amanda and I were both Christians when we lived at 5 Weka Road.

We went to the Coast Community Church on 57 Hinemoa Street.

It was the same church where both Amanda and I were baptised.

Jesse Orchard, Nathan Thatcher, Natalie Hymers and Ashley King all went to the same church (CCC). We were all at the same church and youth group as teenagers too.

Natalie Hymers (former flatmate) and Jesse Orchard later got married. Jenna Rowland-Skelton (former flatmate) dated Nathan Thatcher, but they split up and she married some other guy.

Jess Mackenzie, Amanda’s Nana and I were Amanda’s essays editing team in university.

Amanda was a B- student in her first year at university. By third year she was an A student. She got into the honours program in Criminology, worked extremely hard and graduated with first class honours.

Jess, general stories

Jess MacKenzie and I were in school together in 3rd and 4th form. We became friends in 4th form and remained friends even after I moved to Paraparaumu. She visited and stayed with my family in Paraparaumu, and I stayed with hers. We exchanged letters also.

****

End segment of “at about 20 years old”

****

Why did I post Rev Soc Eng. Xi asked me to post it? And so did Sarah? I had to explain it, so I did.

They wanted me to describe and explain the nature of the project/hobby/philosophy.

A brief elucidation of the principles and theories of “reverse social engineering” is integral to my life story. I’d be misrepresented if I didn’t put it in my blog..

I was mistreated horribly by Xi Jinping because of “reverse social engineering”. And so I had to explain it.

****

A note about physio/therapy:

By the way, I estimate that it will take me 12 months to physically recover, recuperate and fully rehabilitate my body from where I am today (including from the horrors of 2016-2022 etc). Some people think that it will take only a couple of weeks for me to recover. But it won’t. It will take longer.

Physical rehabilitation is very important to me.

Some of the physiotherapy and occupational therapy that they believe is pseudoscience.

They think that I can be made to recover and be released from from my current state within a few days or weeks.

I don’t think that the human body works like that. It will take longer.

They have ideas like “Bat bolar” and “Magic wand”. These ideas are nonsense. They don’t work like that.

Also, the idea of using “silver chains” until I “want it” is pseudoscience also. And extremely horrible. The idea of using “noodles” while keeping me disabled is horrible and nonsensical too.

****

All three are in

I spoke briefly with Siobhan, Brynn, and Sarah last night. All three are in. That means I have three. This way I settle among them, and it creates peace.

In Brynn’s words, settle among them.

One wants a child, Siobhan. And I have agreed to give her one.

That is me sorted for the next year or two. And solves everything non-violently.

****

A quick update:

I grew up in a very religious environment, but anyone who has read “background stories” already knows that. Everything in the segment “read in this order” is worth reading. Ummm. Not a hive-mind guy might be worth reading too.

If you want to know what I am like as a person, check out “things I like” and maybe “books I have read. You will have to do some interpretation on these, to understand for yourself.

And maybe the “separate martial arts + sports” page (umm, this will let you know that I am not a hardcore fighting or martial arts guy - I’m a book worm, economics geek, former commerce student etc, played a lot of pc video games, internet addiction etc).

****

Daydreaming:

My walk to and from school used to be my favourite part of the day when I was young. I love daydreaming. And I need time alone inside my own head. I don’t want to explain any more than this.

I do serious thinking when I go walking.

I miss just being able to walk around.

****

I used to daydream about inventions, businesses and video game ideas when I was young. And then frantically write down ideas for video games, inventions and business ideas in my “ideas book”.

[to women who want to understand me, one of the most “David” things in the world is frantically writing down ideas in an ideas book]

****

Will Durant and philosophy

Will Durant conceived of philosophy as a form of total perspective or of seeing things from the perspective of the whole. I like this idea. If you look at the whole of history, and you look at it holistically, then maybe you can call that itself a perfectly good approach to philosophy. Personally, I wouldn’t call it the only, or indeed my only approach to philosophy, but it is a good approach. And a good start.

As part of that, I might look at a primer or two on philosophy, such as Will Durant’s Story of philosophy. Or an intro course to philosophy from a university lecturer such as The Great Ideas of Philosophy, 2nd Edition - Daniel N. Robinson, 60 lectures, Oxford (both of which I did). I also got really into history itself, please see my “Books that I have read” page for more information. I love a bit of history. I listened to lecture series and/or read books on the history of France, England, America, China, Japan, India, Italy and New Zealand. I looked at the history of Rome too (of course). I also listened to some lecture series on the topics of the industrial revolution, the history of science, and the history of epidemics.

It’s not everything. But it’s a good start, you know?

Quote from Wikipedia about Will and Ariel Durant (edited slightly),

“Will Durant and his wife Ariel Durant sought to unify and humanise the great body of historical knowledge, which had grown voluminous and become fragmented into esoteric specialties, and to vitalise it for contemporary application. As a result of their success, he and his wife were jointly awarded the Pulitzer Prize for General Nonfiction in 1968 and the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1977.”

I also have read a collected works of Voltaire, The Tao te Ching, and a number of works from the Christian tradition. There is a lot more stuff to look at on the page “Books that I have read” though. And stuff that never made it to that list.

I also studied economics, accounting, and a fair bit of mathematics and statistics. These also give a person a few other lenses through which to assess reality.

Also, I read a few volumes from the Durant “story of civilisation “ collection.

****

For the scientists only: I also briefly covered “instrumentation and measurement” in 7th form Physics. The “how and why” of measurement are an important part of gaining knowledge about the physical/natural world.

****

// I cross posted this from the general disambiguation. It has been there for over a week, but I recently edited it again

I wanted to make peace

Back in Raine Street, there was a point in time where I had learned a bit more about “foundation” (aka, the fae) and how it worked. I understood the structure of society a little bit better. It is kind of distributed throughout the population. It is not a total top down billionaire + corporation + banking/finance system. I had previously thought everything was controlled top down by the wealthy (and also bureaucrats).

There are these “philosopher king”, “foundation”, “vrill”, “nail hammerers”, “fae” distributed throughout the population, like a caste, or oligarchy, kind of like the Alpha Caste in Huxley’s Brave New World, or the Inner Party in Orwell’s 1984.

I’ll call them “foundation” or “philosopher kings” gone wrong. Or “evil foundation” lol

I learned about them, and wanted to make peace. I though that it might be unethical to destabilise their system.

To make matters more complicated, foundation is trying to do a re-org of human civilisation to respond to issues like long term environmental degradation, long term resource scarcity, and over population (I.e. carrying capacity, see also: “limits to growth” and the Club of Rome*). Note: Some resources where scarcity is an issue are things like oil, natural gas, phosphorus, water suitable for irrigation, and good land with sufficient topsoil. See also: desertification, overgrazing, deforestation and other issues, ocean dead zones, ruined waterways etc.

Given that these people are an integral part of human civilisation, is it an ethical and or moral act to attempt to destroy foundation? Ummm. Is it ethical to use “reverse social engineering” to try destroy it? By it, I mean the underlying social structures. For example, if I were to have a few court victories and a good story published in the media. This might give me a way to give me a platform to release my theories of reverse social engineering to the world (so that they can then use the theories to destroy the underlying social structures of control, and ?therefore perhaps devolve power to the people?). I also thought that it was too arrogant for me to assume that I can actually destroy it, even if I tried (the system that makes the caste/oligarchic thing work).

Is it ethical to do something that would cause massive instability at such a time as a re-org in the face of massive environmental issues? To destabilise an immoral system at the wrong time may in fact be an immoral act, if it might lead to or contribute to chaos.

Then on the other hand, to join feels unethical to me, because they are so cruel to other people? They destroy people’s lives. They bully, so badly. I have (and had) conscience issues about joining.

So I didn’t really want to fight against them, and I didn’t really want to join them.

So then I wanted to parley and negotiate?

But they wouldn’t let me discuss it with them. They wouldn’t even come to the table for a discussion, let alone a negotiation for the cessation of conflict.

I wanted to make peace.

This is still a draft. I know that it was too arrogant back then to even think that I could destabilise and therefore change the system. But I’ll rewrite it later.

Ps: the idea initially was that the system (ie corporations, banks, mega rich, politicians, bureaucrats) ends up with less power, and the people have more. Don’t overthink it. There are better explanations just below.

****

* I once read a book about the Club of Rome think tank and “the limits to growth” when I was about 21. It talked about concepts like carrying capacity and overpopulation. I think that it was Beyond the Limits by Dennis Meadows, Donella Meadows, and Jørgen Randers.

****
****

Pseudoscience and Lysenko:

Apropos of nothing, pseudoscience is dangerous. And in totalitarian regimes pseudoscience and groupthink can be a bit of a problem.

Just read about Lysenko:

“Lysenko's ideas and practices contributed to the famines that killed millions of Soviet people; the adoption of his methods from 1958 in the People's Republic of China had similarly calamitous results, contributing to the Great Chinese Famine of 1959 to 1961.“

He also persecuted and had botanists declared enemies of the state, and thrown in prison. To maintain one’s belief in the theories of Gregor Johann Mendel’s theories of genetics could end your career and ruin your life.

“ In 1940, Lysenko became director of the Institute of Genetics of the Soviet Academy of Sciences, and he used his political influence and power to suppress dissenting opinions and discredit, marginalize, and imprison his critics, elevating his anti-Mendelian theories to state-sanctioned doctrine.

Soviet scientists who refused to renounce genetics were dismissed from their posts and left destitute. Hundreds if not thousands of others were imprisoned. Several were sentenced to death as enemies of the state, including the botanist Nikolai Vavilov, whose sentence was commuted to prison.”

Umm. Lysenko is worth reading about, as is Mendel. I love reading about the history of science.

****

There are sometimes issues with accountability in the areas of agriculture and environmental management in countries with a one party state.

See the Great Leap Forward and the Aral Sea.

Here is more about the Aral Sea.

****

My mum worked at New Zealand Institute for Crop and Food Research Hawke's Bay (formerly crop and food research) and has a degree in biology. Her brother is involved in conservation.

****

On the importance of loafing, idleness and thought experiments

Thought experiments and imagination are important parts of life, particularly for the great thinkers of history. But also for scientists, engineers, mathematicians, and problem solvers.

The Importance of Loafing - Lin Yutang

In Praise of Idleness - Bertrand Russell

Article: Einstein’s Thought Experiments

Article: Sir Isaac Newtons’s “annus mirabilis”

Bottom line: sometimes when smart people have time on their hands, they daydream or conduct thought experiments.

****

See also:

People daydreaming and problem solving while they walk to and from work at Bletchley Park. [There was an obscure biography about mathematicians at Bletchley who weren’t allowed to take notes home to analyse them, so had to analyse the problems only in their head…]

(Note: there was a conversation in “soul twitter”. if you are MEGA geeky, then please look up my thought experiment (and/or brainstorm) in using “spam” in Bletchley park to disrupt submarine communications). It was just an example of a thought experiment. 1:20 nzt to 1:40 nzt Tuesday. Conversational snippets as spam. They have to record them, and try to decode them, before realising that they are spam. It drives the comms officers nuts).

It is good enough for a brainstorm, but not good enough for implementation lol.

****

You guys (Sarah) requested it sooooo???

What if you…?

Study civilisation as a whole, “sub specie totius” (aka total perspective, that is a Will Durant term)

Pull it to pieces in your mind..? Put it together again?? (You need a ton of loafing, idleness, and daydreaming to do this)

And then conduct thought experiments on how to modify it? Imagine being inside and old civilisation, and ask yourself “how did it work”? How did the consciousness of these people get shaped? Environment? Customs? Class structure? Institutions? Laws? Etc. eg, look at ancient Mesopotamia or ancient Mayan civilisations history, or Ancient Rome, or ancient Judea, or whatever. What “civilisational engineering”, what sociology did they have… ? It is like “comparative sociology”. Or maybe you take a multi disciplinary approach?

Then what are you doing? What is the label for this activity?

Who is the interest group? Well… pick one?

Maybe the aristocratic, oligarchs, monarchs etc.

Or possibly “those who live on the banks of the rivers of history”?

What is the context?

Maybe the system of the neoliberal world order + nation state level democracy has become sclerotic and resistant to change? Voters collectively can't change anything because of corporate influence, too much bureaucracy, and a media and education system that brainwashes people. Also: apathy and ignorance.

What methods might you use... well... you might find the control mechanisms? And then modify them. How?? Ummm. Maybe… undermine the control mechanisms in favour of the people, as opposed to the corporations/banks/system. (The theories worked on the control mechanisms (means of control), not the power players or interest groups themselves). Note: after I got to Raine street, I basically wanted to abandon the project. Sort of. I wanted a conversation, and to make peace?? See post further above.

That is half of the fun?? Finding the control mechanisms.

Patent system (tragedy of the anticommons)

IP in general

School funding and curriculum (bulk funding + democratically local school board can select their own curriculum)

Democratise the election of persons to the board of directors for the state media apparatus (e.g. RNZ, TVNZ).

Democratise one seat on corporate boards etc

Change rules for use of em spectrum sales

Create regulated state monopolies in infrastructure and industries considered necessary national security.

Modify bills of rights in favour of the people against electronic surveillance and electromagnetic spectrum nervous system weapons. The state shall not not use electromagnetic spectrum based nervous system weapons on the people to observe and read their thoughts, nor shall they use electromagnetic spectrum weapons to on their nervous system to hurt their body, or similar.

Methods: petitions and referendums, the idea of a "mandate" for change (followed by conventional grass roots political change). Single issue parties for change. Direct democracy. Media organisations. Counterculture movements.

Inspiration: chartist movement, plebian politics in the Roman Republic, civil rights movement.

Final step: publish the ideas and the methodology online.

****

Maybe it was a hobby that kept me sane through the six years of torment?

[It’s just tons of education, and tons of imagination/thought experiments in comparative sociologies/anthropologies throughout history. You treat the past as though it is a foreign country, for the sake of analysis.]

****

For example:

Just spitballing ideas here: from point of view of the 80% in in a liberal western democracy, a sovereign nation state. Whose governance has become sclerotic due to the influence of money/corporations and bureaucracy. How do you make it democratic?

A new electromagnetic civil rights and civil liberties movement:

1. First referendum: tell the govt: You just ban sale of em spectrum to spacex or other providers of wireless internet. And also satellite internet/phone/television. And ban all sale of em spectrum to anyone in low earth orbit.

2. Second referendum: government must establish a monopoly in cell tower infrastructure, by eminent domain. (This includes high powered em spectrum devices that can send/receive with rapidity - need a proper tech dude to provide a better definition)

3. Third referendum: change the bill of rights. Govt shall not use electromagnetic spectrum based nervous system weapons on the people to observe and read their thoughts, nor shall they use electromagnetic spectrum weapons to on their nervous system to hurt their body (this counts for em spectrum - wavelength and frequency - below infrared only).

But then there are economic issues, because the global system of trade messes with you? So maybe you abolish the patent system, and reform copyright, to make it easier to manufacture cheaply and locally. Basically you have an IP free manufacturing industry in stuff like pharma and tech and medical tech to make ends meet.However, the international system goes mental if you do this, so it has to be done my means of (proper) direct democracy, and “people power”, so that it is presented to your own politicians and the international system as a “fait accompli”. And they just get used to it tbh.

Intellectual property free manufacturing helps you to be economically self supporting.

****

This feeds into some ideas from the “not a hivemind guy” open letter.

And then you can be “not a hive mind” society. Ie, it is a society where you have no ai or computers in your brain.

And maybe have a more “human shaped society”..?

See not a hivemind guy letter

****

The “I’d rather die than get a bunch of women pregnant and therefore ruin a bunch of kids lives” comment

Story I was in 73 Hutt Road, after a long period of games. I had been coerced into saying “yes” getting Brynn and Grace pregnant, and also to 1000 times unprotected sex with a few women. I had also agreed to give Brynn 4 kids, and 2 kids to Grace.

The neighbour walked past the bathroom and insinuated that I might have to get ~50 (iirc) women pregnant as a part of this science fiction breeding scheme. (It might be accessible as a part of the past records? And so I decided at that point that these people were “irresponsible behind measure” and morally reprehensible. If I get 50 women pregnant, it just isn’t fair on the kids. How do you explain it to them?

Besides, any clique who wants to get 50 women pregnant are probably unfit to be mothers. Any woman who joins a scheme to coerce (violently, by electronic nervous system blast cannon) a guy into getting them pregnant, so that they can get wealthy, is probably no good.

So I refused. I said I’d rather die than ruin a bunch of kids lives by getting their mothers pregnant.

I thought that the fae/clique were morally reprehensible and irresponsible. And the moments I figured out their mass pregnancy scheme, I completely lost all faith in them.

// comment: I am just describing how I felt at the time. And also, only a very small segment/group of the fae is responsible (the syndicate).

// hypothetically, if you are a clique of 50 women, and you want to use electronic nervous system weapons to violently coerce a man into getting you pregnant, then what word/s do you use to describe yourself? Reprehensible? Irresponsible? Morally bankrupt?

~I wrote you guys off completely

[However, if I could do it over again, I’d just suck it up and sleep with the women, fulfil the tasks required (sort of). And wait it out for a year, at which point I would renegotiate and/or renege on the pregnancy “contracts”.]

****

There is a strong link between sex and reproduction 🤔. I don’t know if you knew that??

***

Just for the sake of information: in the past…

One:

I had ethical concerns with being a part of a set of people who destroy people’s lives on purpose (See general disambiguation). (Particularly back 2 years ago, when I said no to joining, and then tried to quit)

Two:

And I had issues of “freedom of association” regarding becoming a part of the “inner party of New Zealand aka, the fae/oligarchy of nz” the same set of people who gave tacit approval to my six years of torment. Group membership was the problem.(this was after I discovered that they had used electronic crippling on me)

Three:

I was and am still physically attracted to the chicks.

Probably just go to General Disambiguation, or How did I get this way pt 2.

****

The women of the close knit part of the syndicate (2016-2022).

In theory, I could accept sleeping with them as a kluge (and choose to enjoy it). But in reality that might not be appropriate (or viable), given that they inflicted the “six years of torment on me” (2016 - 2022) in the hopes of becoming wealthy.

Practically speaking, they are by-and-large physically attractive.

Ps: The Siobhan/Brynn thing is still viable.

****

I really liked the Sheep Man in a wild sheep chase by Murakami.

The Napoleon of Notting Hill - G.K. Chesterton

****

Years and years and years of damage, harm and manipulation to my body:

***

Note, please read “how did I get this way part two first” as well as how did I get this way part one, misc stories, and background stories.

***

// draft

TLDR; they ruined my life by crippling my hips

They progressively disabled my hips over a long time by tightening my iliacus and psoas muscles. And they did this long term. The iliacus goes from the inside of the pelvis to the thigh bone. The psoas muscle goes from the spine to the thigh bone.

They did this starting before even 2012.

And this weakened and damaged my upper back over many years. I had a lot of back pain over the years. It also weakened and slowly disabled my legs over time.

Until in 2016 they ramped it up and they took my upper back out, and crippled my legs. They kept me this way for 6 years, with my iliacus and psoas held taut. I also lost proper use of my arms. They were pinned to my sides. They crippled my hips - and everything else got destroyed along what way.

They could have released me at any time just by ceasing the iliacus and psoas tightening for 6-8 weeks to let me recover. During which I would have rehabilitated.

During this period of 6 years (2012-2016), I couldn’t stand up from or sit on the toilet, dress myself, shower, or wash my backside properly and safely on a regular basis. I didn’t shower even once. I couldn’t wear normal warm clothes.

And I couldn’t lay down normally in bed, flat on my back.

I was covered in a buildup of dead skin, underdressed, freezing cold, and gross.

It was awful.

It was torment to live this way for the six years 2016-2022.

Ps: I also had a dislocated shoulder (subluxation aka partial dislocate of my left shoulder).

PPS: there were a ton of other electronic “abrades” inflicted on me from 2006 onwards. Including severe sleep/exhaustion ones. And also extremely severe digestive electronic “abrades” in around 2009-2011 (don’t quote me on those dates). Also, my iliacus and psoas started being tightened up around late 2006/2007

****

The inner party gave tacit approval to my 6 years of torment (2016-2022).

In George Orwell’s 1986, there was something called “the inner party”. I think that this is a good name or label for the oligarchy of New Zealand (long with philosopher kings gone wrong, or evil foundations).

Ummm. I was crippled very badly from 2016 to 2022. The inner party voted on whether to keep me there or not. Or at least this is what I heard. The vote was successful for keeping mr there and in that state. By failing to intervene, and voting to continue keeping me crippled, they gave it tacit approval. This inner party even included parliamentarians.

They just watched on, and did nothing.

To me, this is incomprehensible. They gave tacit approval to my 6 years of torment.

****

Ability to exercise

Ummm. I lost the ability to exercise pretty early on. For example, I couldn’t even do a bird dog (prescribed by my physio) without it hurting my back. This was once I was about 22!!? (This is in 2010ish). It hurt my back?? This is because of the psoas/iliacus being tightened. I could walk to exercise, and that was about it.

I also couldn’t do pushups. The fatigued me way too much, and hurt my back?? I used to do lots of pushups, but lost the ability?!

More of this is mentioned in Misc Stories.

// sorry that this is all a bit messy

Table tennis

During the 4 years I lived at 5 Weka Road, Raumati Beach, 2008 - 2012, I was within 30 metres of the Kapiti Uniting Parish. This is where they held the local “once a week” casual table tennis night that I used to go to sometimes with my father and brother (2004/2005/2006). I didn’t go to this club while living in Weka Road. I simply couldn’t exercise. I was sick.

Note: this is the casual night, not the inter club night..

You can see the church where the table tennis night meets from the front gate of 5 Weka Road, Raumati Beach.

~This is just to illustrate how my health was. If I could have played table tennis, I would have. I didn’t, therefore I couldn’t.

****

George Santayana:

“Those who fail to learn from the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them.”

Not really, but sort of.

More like: “history never repeats itself, but sometimes it echoes.”

****

When I was young, my father was the one I loved and valued most. I liked spending time with him more than anyone else.

He was better company than anyone else I knew.

True at age 8, 10, 12, 14, 16.

Ps: I loved my mother too, but she was a bit difficult/complicated

***

Here is yet another way to help you to understand things better.. (read everything else first lol) only for the curious

Note:

I tried to surrender back in Khandallah, by means of “NDA”. But they wouldn’t let me? This was before I found out I was kept crippled electronically via my hips.

nda: I won’t tell anyone about the lily and Amanda ivf thing, or talk about “reverse social engineering” or the 6 years at Princeton road, in exchange for my freedom and safety, and to be allowed to live my life in peace (ie, stop using hot/cold to freeze and overheat me, let me have a place to live that has normal floors [not squishy with tons of memory foam]). I just want to get on with my life.

I couldn’t find any way to negotiate a peace/surrender/escape/cessation of conflict.

You wouldn’t give me any way out that made sense to me. Or explain to me how to change the situation properly??

People can look it up if they like. There were multiple incidents of trying to surrender. It’ll take hours to look it up. This is only for the curious.

It is just one thing.

Ps: what I needed was for them to explain the procedure or means by which I might create a cessation of conflict that was appropriate…?

****

Telling someone that they must “desire” (aka want) sexual intercourse when they are incapable of showering, and haven’t showered in seven years, is an absurdity (see Khandallah).

My “emotions” can’t want sex if I haven’t showered in 6-7 years. It is just too gross for the woman.

****

People thought way back that I was “power hungry”, and that what I wanted was power. This is a plain misunderstanding of me.

***

Stuff like +stopsound and 123kittens are… just “using computer programming” on my own brain. It is self programming

****

9:30am

Xi’s guys hurt me again. I feel cold now. They did it by hurting my abdominal muscles, and my back (via inner/core) muscles such as iliacus and psoas.

********

Foreign students

I lived with (and/or socialised with) a bunch of language school students and high school exchange students and homestay students. Many were from… places like China, Japan, Korea, Germany, Indonesia, and Brunei. Many from China. My father and brother had a whole cavalcade of them stay with them before I moved from my mother’s place to live with them. So I ended up spending tons of time with foreign language students. Particularly Chinese students.

Some were twenties, some were in school.

We were involved with AFS (America fields service) because of Tomoe Takahashi. I also very nearly did an AFS intercultural exchange to Japan when I was 16ish. Because of this involvement with AFS, I met quite a few people on exchange. In other ways, I had lived a fairly sheltered existence up until that point.

Also, Sue Walker (my best friends mother, and someone I often stayed with) was closely involved with international students in Taradale via EIT and the international team. She was the homestay and accommodation coordinator at EIT. My mum and Sue were close friends.

Ummm. We had Tomoe Takahashi for a long stay, Hanae Motohashi as a long term homestay student (technically she was long term resident/student in NZ - finished high school here). We had Kenji and Koji as part of a 2 week visit and 1 week visit respectively (as part of a school exchange group). We had two middle aged nursing students from Brunei (ethnically Indian iirc) doing a certifications and skills transfer course (they had to repeat a full years training, not just the “CAP” course). And one woman from Indonesia (Muslim). My mother disliked that one. I thought she was okay. Had Sun and Deedee in Kapiti (both Chinese language school students). One Korean and one German high school student. Dad and Matthew: had max, wei, waiman, sunny, sue and Elaine (all Chinese) before I moved to Paraparaumu. They also had Gina (Korean). My dad has had tons of students ever since.

Umm. It was pretty normal for us to have foreign people living with us. I was used to it. Familiarity, I guess.

// I just wanted to let people know what sort of people I grew up around and lived with. Quite a few foreign students/boarders

***

More from the Kapiti language school:

Also, we had people like Heidi (aka Shan), Emma (both Chinese), Ariuna (Mongolian), Aya and Yumi (both Japanese) around to visit every so often.

My father sometimes talked about how he could have tried to secure Heidi or Emma as a partner? And spoke at length of who would have been better marriage material out of Tomoe, Shan, or Emma. Ariuna was a companion for swimming as well. Aya and Yumi mostly wanted to practise their English, and umm, have a free guide/transport. I think they really liked Matthew (when he was about 11/12).

My father met most of these women through the local Kapiti language school. We were in the habit of getting students from there (mostly male).

Ummm. He would go to the social events of the language school to socialise, and like dance and stuff. He was about 38/39. These students were young, but not in high school. About 20ish? I can’t recall. A variety of ages near 20. Maybe they were learning language before university.

He kinda wanted a young Asian wife from the language school. But money was tight. He ended up with Vivian (29 years old). Who wanted a family and kids.

// all of this stuff is just background

****

Brain Blank Blast:

The brain blank blast technique keeps on getting used. And it used to get used a lot back whenever I tried to have conversations. This made conversation difficult for me.

Eyesight:

My eyesight is poor which makes socialising difficult. I struggle to see facial features clearly, and low light situations make this even more challenging. Also, maintaining eye contact is a bit of a problem. It is difficult to judge attractiveness at a glance. I kind of have to look at a person for a bit, while talking, to gauge attractiveness.

For example: I couldn’t play a game of cards at a bar without craning over the cards awkwardly, I couldn’t identify the ages of the people at a glance. It takes a couple of moments upon ceasing movement sometimes to be able to refocus my eyes.

I’ve had impaired eye sight and an inability to wear glasses since 2016. I dare say it would be a lot more fun (and easier) to hang out and socialise if I could see clearly and make eye contact, and therefore have a normal conversation.

****

Willing to walk away empty handed

All along, from (roughly speaking) when I first got out of 73 Hutt Road to travel around a bit, through to Dannevirke, and the South Island (Motueka, Nelson, Blenheim, Christchurch, Ashburton). I wanted to quit.

I was willing to walk away empty handed: no women, no money (and to give up permanently the right to fight for the women and money) in order to end the game, and to be safe, and free (from electronic abuse) and to have the opportunity to rehabilitate fully.

At the time (in Dannevirke) I was also willing and to agree to remain "non-political" for two years. And to avoid conversations on the topic of politics. And this is to secure the opportunity to be safe, and free (from electronic abuse), and to have the opportunity to rehabilitate fully.

Basically I would agree to gag/silence myself for a couple of years to be allowed to walk away.

****

Electronic Weapons

Also, from the point that I realised that the long term crippling that I had experienced was from electronic weapons etc (kept crippled for 6 years)(I realised this back in 73 Hutt Road just before the “elvis music thing”), I felt that “I don’t want to be a part of this”. I had real moral qualms about being a part of a set of people that had these weapons, and were willing to use them to cause such harm to an individual for so many years!! It was incomprehensible to me. They were irresponsible and sick in the extreme. I felt that they’d escalate harm to me and others over time. Anyone who has these weapons and is willing to keep someone crippled for 6+ years is just too deranged for words. A conscience issue.

I was afraid of what the long term implications of these weapons might be. To the wider population. If the fae have these weapons, they might end up escalating the use of them to greater and greater levels.

I wanted to quit their set “I don’t want to be a part of this”. But they would not let me go.

****

Breeding scheme:

One of the reasons that I was so reluctant to participate in any of your schemes is that you guys signalled your intent to create a mass breeding scheme. And I thought that wouldn’t be fair on the kids.

That is one of the reasons that I was sooo reluctant to participate early on (eg Khandallah)

It is also one of the reasons that I judged you guys as being like… 2/10 for moral responsibility… like.. muppets in terms of moral responsibility and basic decency? Too irresponsible = massive loss of respect on my part

*****

****

Freedom of association:

I wasn’t totally sure that I wanted to be a part of a set of people (fae and/or philosopher kings and or “evil foundation”) who are deliberately cruel to other people. Ie bully people and destroy their lives. See the post at the end of “general disambiguation” re: “didn’t want to (try to) destroy, but didn’t want to join”. Conscience.

***

Note: attempts to quit

Wanted to quit in Copthorne, and wanted to end the game in Ashburton. These incidents are mentioned elsewhere.

Crosspost:

Back in Copthorne, I had really wanted to escape. Off switch for the game. This was before the bad thing was done to me physically. I kept asking, is there an off switch? How do I escape from the situation?

I asked over and over again. How do I get out??? I wanted to be safe!? You can listen back to it before the horrible thing happened.

Ashburton:

In the town of Ashburton: I tried to quit there by saying the magic words “I don’t want sex” (at least right now, maybe in six months once I’m feeling better).

That was what they told me I had to do to end the game. And I did it. But it made no difference. Nothing I say or do changes anything. I have tried to quit and/or end the game many times.

[by the way, way back in 73 Hutt Road, before even Dannevirke, I had been told that all I have to do to end the game, and give up, was to say “I don’t want it”. I was told this a long, long time prior to Ashburton]

Anyone can go to this period of time and check it out. Or view it.

Also: the Dasha thing was supposed to be an endpoint. At least in my eyes.

****

The Socratic method:

Discussion and questions.

What is terrorism?

“The unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims.” Oxford English Dictionary

Socratic method of questioning:

What is terrorism?

What is a civilian?

Was/is David a civilian back in places like Twizel, Te Anau, Bluff, Ashburton?

Did he want to be a civilian?

How do you decide who is a civilian, and who is not a civilian? What are the rules of engagement?

What is "limited warfare"?

What is "total war"?

What is "policing"?

Are the rules of international trade and finance still in play? I.e. does trade and capitalism still exist?

When David made a flippant, colloquial accusation of terrorism against Xi in Ashburton, and then Twizel, what was meant by that? Was David an "enemy combatant" or a civilian? Had he tried to deescalate the conflict?

What were his options?

Do you listen to his words to figure out his desires and wants, or simply use brain imaging?

Definitions can be a little tricky sometimes... but for someone from my background (love of books, and academic education etc) it is okay to have a discussion about definitions...

This segment leads to more questions than answers.

****

I kinda dislocated my shoulder back around 2015 or so. It happened while laying down on my side. And has had a partial dislocate on and off ever since. There is a note in my medical records about it.

****

discussion:

Here is my story, back in Dannevirke.

I wanted to cancel the game. I wanted to understand the rules, what to say, how to say it, how to operate the software, so that I could cancel it. Cancel the game, I mean.. quit the game?? I wanted peace and safety.

And I wanted to cancel/quit the game so that I could be safe. I was afraid for and concerned about my long term health and safety.

I thought that my mind, body and brain might be in danger. And that I might suffer harm. And that I might get damaged. I thought that I might be So I had wanted to cancel the game.

I asked again and again to be allowed to quit.

They wouldn’t let me quit.

***

Later on, in Christchurch…

So in the end (in Christchurch), I won in an attempt to secure my safety.

So in the end I won by ending up spending the evening with Dasha. Even though I didn’t want to compete.

***

Note: at the time, back in Danniverke, I was ready, willing and able to permanently give up all right to fight for the money and/or women in order to gain safety. And I wanted peace and safety long enough to be able to recuperate and fully rehabilitate. Which would probably be about 6 - 12 months. I really, really wanted to be safe. But you guys wouldn’t let me.

My focus was my long term safety, security, and the ability to get my health back. It was about self preservation.

I had wanted to quit over and over again since then. But I wasn’t able to find the “off switch” for the game.

But I want allowed to quit. And now here I am?

I basically asked to be allowed to walk away empty handed and alone. And permanently give up all right to fight for the money and/or women. So that I could live in peace and recover my health. It was fundamentally an offer of surrender on my part (on reasonable terms). And I was rebuffed.

I had tried to surrender and/or quit on numerous occasions before then. Perhaps I had suggested it 200-300 times. Including as far back as Khandallah.

And then I had to try to fight for a settlement? I didn’t really want to “fight” for a settlement. But I was led to believe that your bureaucracy would t let me have anything other than the opportunity to fight for a settlement.

And i still (in my heart) wanted to quit/retire/recuse afterwards, and also before. And also beforehand. Even before dannevirk and afterwards. Like I mean, walk away empty handed and alone. Giving up all chance to fight for any money and/or women. In future. But it wasn’t available.l as an option.

****

My minds eye is damaged. My capacity for visualisation is impaired. It’s gone black(ish). It is as though the brightness level on the projection screen of my mind has been turned down.

This happened by direct intervention in my brain/nervous system.

****

Sunday:

S and B said that they are mine in perpetuity. To do with them as I please.

****

Xi: dewidge, unequivocally, 27th July 4:32

****

I was lead to believe that there was something called the geas. And that I had to have sex to get rid of the geas. Like a a “debt” that had to be paid. And once I had sex, even once, my health would be returned to me: the magic wand waved, and the tightening through my torso/screwed up hips, removed.

****

12:30, they hurt my back really badly again. Feeling spaced out. My face feels fuzzy and numb.

****

Sorry, correction to something in the repurposed soul. I put in the wrong word. Epithymia is the correct Greek word, not Eros. I admit that… I got the analogy from cs Lewis, and some Christian sermons (I think it was Timothy Keller, but I can’t remember the the moment), not Phaedra itself..

Reason (Logistikon)

Spirit (Thymos)

Appetite (Epithymia)

Cs lewis used to be one of my favourite philosophers. Along with will durant and Voltaire. This was back before I quit Christianity.

****

26th June, 11:37

Inner muscles are pulling on my spine hard enough that my face and skull hurts and chest too. And my feet are cold.

25th June, 9:45

Actually getting hurt pretty badly?? Tighten through back.

***

History and/or capitalism

Do you know anything about guy de bord and the situationists? The society of the spectacle?

Debord and the culture wars

Debord and voting, and the media

What exists behind the mesmerising “Debordian spectacle”?

What about…Corporate structure, the appointment of boards of directors, including involvement by fund managers. Who actually wields the votes to elect directors? What is proxy voting? Who has power in society?

Capital on balance sheets. Debt. Equity. Currency. Financial instruments. Statistics.

What is the share market? Is it not just a seconds market for equity?

What is accounting? What is statistics? What is economics?

Is economic analysis often just the analysis of historical data drawn from accounting statements, and turned into statistics. And these statistics modified and expressed in the form of graphs and formulae, according to models and theories. Idk.

Ps: never got around to actually reading De bord, just history around it.

****

What is the Socratic method?

****

Who truly creates value in civilisation?

How about…??

engineers, scientists and doctors, and the geniuses, engineers, and “hackers” among them. Including the Industrial Revolution and semiconductor revolution people

And what do politicians do..?

****

Don’t overthink this:

I’m a bit of a fanboy for the industrial revolution, and capitalism. I also love the semi conductor revolution, and the rise of internet and information technologies.

I am also a fan of the organic movement and the slow food movement. But I like these in a non dogmatic fashion. Conservation (and rewilding) is cool too.

I like social democracy, and had/have massive sympathy for the old left of NZ. But also used to like some right libertarian, small Government, minarchist, classic liberal stuff. I used to be a massive Ayn Rand fan, but I grew out of it. I still like a bit of libertarian stuff, sometimes (e.g. abolition of the patent system, school vouchers). We also had some good (mild) economic nationalism + keynesian stimulus here in New Zealand in the past. And that stuff works well.

And I’m also aware that neoliberalism (rogernomics + ruthanasia) stole a massive amount of wealth from New Zealanders in the past.

Note: what I mean by organic is just ordinary old fashioned organic. Like, organic where you care about soil health, avoidance of synthetic fertilisers and dangerous pesticides. Where you care about biodiversity, avoidance of monocultures, animal welfare and micronutrient density of food. Like composting, crop rotation. Avoiding over tilling the land, or top soil erosion. Or depleting the land. After all we owe our existence to six inches of top soil and the fact that it rains.

Note: I think that for social democracy to work properly, you need a good manufacturing base, plenty of manufacturing workers, and a unionised work force. We no longer have those in NZ. We don’t have strong unions here. But at the same time, the idea of finding a middle ground between socialism and capitalism isn’t such a bad idea.

Note: I don’t trust international finance, global capital, I feel some concern when it comes to corporate power and influence (eg, oil industry, big tech). And America is kind of dodgy (hi military industrial complex).

Last note: Maybe I could just be a bit lazy on politics, or philosophy.

****

Xi declared me totally victorious, because I shagged D**** and loved it. It is up to the women of NZ to honour it.

He also said “Dumb b**** ho’s”

****

Snippets of history:

The eight-hour day movement is really cool. It is the sort of thing I enjoy binge reading about.

I also enjoy reading about things like the chartist movement. The various reform acts/movements are worth looking at also. The Reform Act of 1832, and the Reform Act of 1867.

I enjoy reading about history in general. Here are a couple of examples of the sorts of things I enjoyed reading about (pre 1922).

Here are a few miscellaneous examples of the history of the labour movement prior to World War One.

A part of NZ history:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1913_Great_Strike

Treat this as a vignette:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/1913_Paterson_silk_strike

I used to read snippets of history as a way to pass the time between 2016 and 2022. I’ve always loved just browsing the internet. I’ve been a massive internet addict since my teens. I always enjoyed (no one calls it this) web surfing.

Other stuff I think is interesting:

Introduction of the welfare state in the UK

Keynes

Reform Act 1832 - parliament website

Reform Act of 1832 - Wikipedia

****

When I looked at Dixon street…

The floors in the 111 Dixon street apartments were carpet on top of super thick underlay. My feet instantly sank into it.

****

I’m going to try to explain and describe a few things, to clear up a few misunderstandings..

Dasha:

I enjoyed Dasha, she was great

****

Ummm. I was told that widge is null and void with Xi. So I just chill I guess??

[[only wanted to avoid tremendous harm]]

****

Sarah (lawyer) is a bad person, and a bad lawyer. I met her when we were in high school. She was in the same accounting class as me. Chris, Joseph, Clare and Paul Mcardle, Lucy, (Joanne) were also in the same class. We were all in Mrs Feltoe’s 7th form accounting class.

****

The abolition of intellectual property is a topic that is of academic interest to me.

****

// this is an example of the sort of policy that a guy might propose in a letter

Idea:

Police can get easier and quicker warrants for forcible blood tests for methamphetamine use if someone is arrested for disturbing the peace. But only if this policy is accompanied by maximum 3 month penalties for “being on meth”. Also, possession for personal use (no greater than $100 worth) is capped at 3 months, p pipe is capped at 3 months etc. 3 month maximum and minimum penalty for just “being on P”.

***

Selling drugs for money is up to seven years (even one $100 transaction) (between 6 months to seven years).

Possession for sale (over $2000) is up to 3-4 years.

Big dealers (with big money and large quantities, and importing) are hit with 14-21 years. I don’t know about cooks though, probably 14-21 years.

Classical criminological theory (swift certain and proportionate), combined with good policing theory, and sound economics.

The key point is easy and fast warrants for blood tests when the guy gets arrested. Easy warrants every time. But only if low penalties for use, and possession for use, and possession of a pipe.

There should be a judge on duty at 2 am. You should be able to get a judge on the phone within 7 minutes. And a warrant faxed to the station within 10 minutes of picking up the phone. Warrants need to be lightening speed for this to work.

****

Disambiguation:

Some people have the idea that I am overly cavalier (or gung ho) about things like the death penalty. But I am not. And so just to set the record straight…

I read a book “Capital Punishment: the inevitability of caprice and mistake” by Charles Black when I was about twenty two. Because of that book (and others in the field of criminology), I am strongly opposed to the death penalty in almost all cases.

It kills too many innocent men who might later be exonerated. It fails to act as a good deterrent (as compared to other punishments, such as life in prison). It is used too much on poor people and ethnic minorities.

At the end of the day, life in prison is usually a better approach. And I reckon that this point of view is supported by both theory and practice.

For what it is worth, I have done a fair bit of reading in criminology and related fields (please see “books I have read” for more information).

I also completed two years of university, and studied from some free lectures online. Please see the “books I have read” page for more information.

****

Theory and philosophy

Some people have suggested that I don’t know anything about political theory, or philosophy. Ummm. I know a little bit.

Two of my favourite philosophers are Will Durant and Voltaire. But I also read a ton of Christian theology/philosophy when I was young (like C.S. Lewis). I’m not a huge fan of philosophy.

***

Explain/describe:

I am highly aware of things like the communist manifesto, and Das Capital. I am aware of class analysis, materialist view of history, “inevitability” etc. stages of history, Lenin’s imperialism etc. I have heard of five year plans and know the term “state capitalism”.

I am highly aware of writers such as Satre, Baudrillard, Deleuze and Guy Debord. But I made a tactical decision not to read them.

I have read about all of these things at the encyclopaedia level, at minimum.

See my “books I have read” page for more information. Or find one of my other posts on philosophy.

(Hegel, Ricardo, Smith, Rousseau, Max Weber) also seen/read some of these things.

Ummm. I am not that well read on political theory… but I am vaguely conversant. I have long reading lists of the stuff I have read. Durant, and Voltaire are two that I read and liked.

I covered Hegel (slightly) and Francis Bacon as a part of Durant’s book “story of philosophy”. I also covered Hegel then in an Amazon great courses lecture series. And in the encyclopedia. Also Hume: just briefly in a few ways.

****

// first draft, very poorly worded because I’m unwell

I wanted to make peace

Back in Raine Street, there was a point in time where I had learned a bit more about “foundation” and how it worked. I understood the structure better. It is kind of distributed throughout the population. It is not a total top down billionaire + corporation + banking/finance system.

There are these “philosopher king”, “foundation”, “beagle”, “vrill”, “nail hammerers” distributed throughout the population, like a caste, or oligarchy, kind of like the alpha class in Brave New World, or the Inner Party in 1984.

I’ll call them “foundation” or “philosopher kings” gone wrong. Or “evil foundation” lol

I learned about them, and wanted to make peace. Might be unethical to destabilise their system.

To make matters more complicated, foundation is trying to do a re-org of human civilisation to respond to issues like environmental degradation, long term resource scarcity, and over population (I.e. carrying capacity and other club of Rome stuff).

Given that these people are an integral part of human civilisation, is it an ethical and or moral act to attempt to destroy foundation? Ummm. Is it ethical to use “reverse social engineering” to destroy it? For example, a few court victories, a good story, published in the media, as a way to give me a platform to release my theories of reverse social engineering to the world (so that they can then use the theories to destroy it).I also think that it is too arrogant for me to assume that I can actually destroy it, even if I tried (the system that makes the caste/oligarchic thing work).

Is it ethical to do something that would cause massive instability at such a time as a re-org in the face of massive environmental issues… to destabilise an immoral system at the wrong time may in fact be an immoral act.

To join feels unethical to me, because they are cruel to other people? They bully, so badly.

But then I wanted to parley and negotiate?

But they wouldn’t let me.

That was just my first draft. It is too arrogant, I know. But I’ll rewrite it later.

I wanted to make peace

******

I’m hurting a fair bit at the moment. It’s Really nasty. Xi is hurting me a lot. Stomach muscles feel awful.

*****

Back in 2016-2022

I couldn’t read books, I couldn’t listen to podcasts. So I read the encyclopedia online (Wikipedia) a lot. That was just one of many things that I did. While also googling to find out which philosopher influenced who, and which economic theory impacted which one, and the flow of history.

******

Ummmm.

I get quote mined quite a bit.

They run hypothetical scenarios, or thought experiments. And I say random things to respond, or I get into it, and give hypothetical answers. These get quote mined. Take anything they tell you with a grain of salt (take it with a fist full of salt tbh).

****

// draft

// disclaimer: the following two sections are a little vague

Exercise and hips

Define: bork

To misconfigure, break, or damage, especially a computer or other complex device.

Iliacus + Psoas

Long term artificial tightening of the iliacus and psoas borks the hips/pelvis region.

Deactivates the glutes/quads a bit. Sort of, over time. Thus weakens your posture, and worsens your walking gait. Pelvis and ankles and feet are affected. Also it just deactivates stuff around the hips and pelvis region, in a generalised vague way.

It takes time. But it sucks. And it has a long term effect.

The back compensates a bit (becomes a tight upper back).

Exercise once hips/pelvis are borked:

You just can’t exercise.

Or, if you do, it isn’t beneficial. It is really, really hard to benefit from exercise. I’d exercise and it would make me worse. Any exercise makes you feel awful afterwards.

Exercise I tried in the past:

Examples:

Back in Kelburn + Karori 2007, I tried pushups, jogging, and swimming. I tried walking up and down hills. I tried an aikido class, jitsu and a few yoga classes. And I tried yoga from a book.

I remember trying to exercise by climbing a hill in Hathaway Avenue, Karori. I remember trying to jog back when I was in Raroa road Kelburn. None of it was any good.

All of the exercise I did made me feel worse. There were no good options for exercise. With the inner muscles (iliacus and psoas) clamped/gripped, you can’t do much. Or so it seems?

I also had back pain.

Ps: sleep and other “abrades” were a direct contributing factor, and digestion “abrade” was also an issue

Walking on flat ground was okay. But that is about it for physical activity.

***

[you compensate for hips/pelvis being borked by using your back muscles, it happens unconsciously]

[even if your iliacus and psoas are just tightened artificially, you just can’t benefit much from exercise. Everything just makes you worse]

If… later on the support of your back falls apart?? Like 2016?? If the support of your back goes… it might be kind of like {{{torso integrity compromised}}}

If… the iliacus and psoas are tightened long enough, walking gets harder and harder, and you can’t use waking to exercise

If… the iliacus and psoas are tightened long enough, and the support of the back goes, you just can’t walk properly…. And then…!!!! If the tightness is maintained, you can’t regain that ability. It’s a one way ratcheting effect

Disclaimer, don’t expect too much from the small print. It is super hard to explain stuff, and it isn’t what I call “cross examinable” statement

****

I only learned about electronic abrade technology (telco/satellite) once I got to Wellington in 2022.

********

I love books, bookshops and reading.

And used to be a video game fanatic.

I love binge reading non-fiction books.

I am a history enthusiast. I love reading pop history, and encyclopaedias, and some academic history stuff. I also like sampling works from the history of things like economics, philosophy, criminology, architecture.

********

Disambiguation, friends:

School age 15-18. Sat beside Grace, Emma, Clare each for only about a year. Brynn for 2 years. Spent only a little time with each/any of them out of class.
I hardly knew Siobhan at all. Spoke with her maybe 2-3 times.
Went to church/youth group with Leah and Helene.
Age 13-14: Taradale, Hawke’s Bay.
Jess Mackenzie and Jessie Hendie were classmates. We became friends only towards the end of my final year in Taradale high school.
University:
I tutored Ambika for a fair while, while she was a high school student. We met a handful of times, after that, once she was in university.
Thu and Liz in a study group, along with myself and Yi.
Post 20 years old (at weka road or Princeton):
I saw a little more of Brynn. She used to come around to visit Amanda, watch DVDs and stuff (they had been friends since they were 13). And I’d talk with her. We weren’t close friends, but it was always nice hanging out with her. Jenna was a flatmate. Jess visited a couple of times.

Amanda: we were sat beside one another in math, accounting and Japanese class at 15. She was the first friend I made at Paraparaumu College.

FWIW, I would mostly hang out with guys when I was in high school? Jesse, Nathan, Aaron, David Walker, Philip, etc.
Other friends, Alistair, Lizzy (sort of)

Where did I meet Amanda: 15 years old in Math class, accounting class, Japanese class. She ended up sitting beside me in all three. Assigned seating? Or she chose? I don’t remember. I had just moved from Taradale, Hawke’s Bay to Paraparaumu. Also, we sat together in economics class 7th form.

***

Disambiguate:

The best friends I had at Paraparaumu College:

Jesse Orchard, Nathan Thatcher, Aaron Oldcorn, Amanda Ward

The best friends at Taradale Highschool:

David Walker and Jess Mackenzie.

Others: Ben Jack (best friend in LTCS, when he was enrolled) and Alex Barnes (form one, Taupo) from earlier in life.

***

Also worth mentioning, though not as close: Jessie Hendie (form class and mutual friend with MacKenzie), Te Ira Davison (friend in form one), Matt van Pelt (hockey team, and in form room), John/Sam/Adam (David Walker’s set), Philip Tiller, Daniel Sanson

Note: Jesse Orchard’s father, Geoff Orchard, is the chief elder at coast community church. And has been one of the elders since I was a teenagers.

****

I'd like to talk about my paternal Grandfather Ivan.

We all called him Papa, not grandad. He was Hungarian. He was from Hungary and he spoke fluent Hungarian. I think he was part Jewish as well. His family switched their name from Spiegel to Solt when he was young.

His first wife (my Nana, Carol) is from Wales. His second wife was from Hungary. He had six children. Four from his first marriage. Two from his second.

Papa and his sister and parents all had to leave Hungary in 1956 after the failed Hungarian Uprising (see Wikipedia). He was in his early 20s at the time. They left in the night, taking nothing but what they could carry. They wore gray because it stands out less on the horizon. And they took a bunch of bottles of vodka in case they needed to bribe the border guards with it. In Hungary they were wealthy. After leaving, they were poor. I think Ivan worked as a taxi driver in NZ, or sold welding rods as a job.

Their country tried to have a revolution against the ussr (sort of), which failed, and then he has to flee. Umm. The situation was actually a lot more complicated than that. But you can read about it in Wikipedia.

He was a bit eccentric, but otherwise okay. Very smart, good at chess. Ate too much. Kind of loud. My Mum hated him.

Ivan Thomas Brody-Solt

As an adult, Aunty Monica (his daughter) made (presumably false) accusations of molestation against my Papa. I assume they are false accusations. She claimed that when she was a child he used to come into her room to do xyzabc. I don’t know that I believe it though. My father told me that there was a court case*.

There were other steps taken to discredit him as well.

At one point he ran for a local government seat on the National party affiliated citizens’ ticket. Southern ward, Wellington. Link.

*I checked online, and was unable to find a court case. I also contacted the Wellington District court via email to ask them if there was a court case. They were also unable to find any such court case.

****

// Re-posted from the old text dump:

When I was in my teens, my father thought that white women his own age weren’t attractive enough, and chased after Asian women in their twenties (or younger). I confronted him, and he responded, “Have you seen women my age” with a look of disgust!? [I confronted him at age 19/20, once I’d moved out of home. He’s dumped Tomoe Takahashi by then, and had moved onto Vivian Wei?]

He was really cosy with the Kapiti foreign language school. A lot of Asian language students (early 20s I think??) Asian fever lol.

He’d take pictures of the women he met, and obsessively show them off!? It was weird. All Asian!?

I thought it was just midlife crisis because of splitting up with Mum…?? But then tomoe moved in… ahhhhh

The language school was in the coastlands mall, Kapiti.

My parents split up at age 13. I moved to Kapiti at age 15.

***

I mentioned this in the background stories:

When Tomoe Takahashi and Paul got together, she was 18 and he was about 39/40. I was 14. They were together for about 3 years? She is four years older than me. My father was born in about 1963.

Tomoe Takahashi is from Japan. She has one brother. Her father worked in Burma (“government” connections? Idk).

She was our exchange student when she was sixteen. AFS was the organisation.

***

We used to have tons of language school students living with us. We called them homestay students. They helped financially, because Dad’s shop wasn’t that successful. Dad still has them students stay at his house sometimes, or at least used to. They were a mix of male/female. When I was 16/17 they stopped bringing in female students (because teenage guy in house?). But my father always preferred female students. He had a dislike of male students. He found them to be annoying and/or messy. Sort of.

****

Psychological projection is a defense mechanism where individuals attribute their own unacceptable thoughts, feelings, or impulses to others.

Or, accuse your enemies of what you yourself are doing?

// end of repost

***********

Editing is important. It’s a little bit like reality tv. The person who edits and curates the content controls the narrative. Sometimes I am totally misunderstood because the editing isn’t good 😅.

Quick short about editing.

****

I am a bit of a booster for basic education, and love of reading. And I kind of hate technology. Smartphones, television and other screen based technology is awful and makes you dumb, sort of.

[a brief note on ordinary education: you can actually just read books about history, of all kinds. And science, technology, art etc. And you can just go to polytechnic or university to educate yourself on law, accounting and economics. Or anything you want. And it is pretty cheap. It costs about $962 nz dollars per university paper in Wellington at the moment, which is pretty good value for money. And books are cheap too. We actually live in a pretty good era when it comes to education, including self education. I don’t know, but maybe in the future it will be considered a golden era? I don’t know.]

Umm. And without rule of law, life gets pretty awful, pretty fast. I studied the Magna Carta briefly in school for example, and a tiny bit of law. Also, totalitarianism is totally insane. If you look at the history of nazi germany, Stalinist Russia, Maoist China etc. I have read way too much about totalitarian systems and nations.

****

Some stuff has vanished from my medical notes, including important/relevant prescriptions and doctors visits 🫠.

****

What is socialism?

Is it when one class of people engages in the use of scientific management* on another class of people?

Or is it when the people have collective ownership and/or control of the means of production. (I.e. ownership of, control over, investment in, profit from, the means of production).

****

What if the people democratised the boards of directors of major companies? For example, the people of New Zealand get one seat at the table at each of the top fifteen companies in the country. They vote for a pool of fifteen directors, once every three years, who each get randomly assigned to on of the companies for three years.

The new “people’s” directors slot straight into the system. They literally have a seat at the table. They vote on the ceo, cfo, coo etc. Set corporate policy, reprimand executive level employees, and are involved in disbursement decisions.

Fonterra, Fletchers, Spark, Air New Zealand, Woolworths, Xero, Fisher and Paykel, Meridian, Infratil, Auckland Airport, Contact, Chorus, Genesis, Vector, Mainfreight, Ryman Healthcare

People could do it by means of citizens initiated referendums. People’s petition => referendum. I.e. use direct democracy.

Maybe they do it for all of the top 25 companies, or top 40 companies? Maybe do government entities like RNZ and TVNZ as well?

****

Scientific management (aka Taylorism) is when you apply scientific principles to the management of factory or workplace. But what if the same principles are applied to a society. Google: scientific management

Ps: hold your definitions lightly for this one, and treat it as inspiration, rather than gospel truth

PPS: umm. At the moment, fund management entities (such as AMP or ASB kiwi saver) collectively hold the power to elect directors, because they are often the ones who hold the shares (sort of) and therefore vote for the directors.

I’ll put this whole thing in a different page later.

****

Intellectual property:

What if one country in the world went intellectual property free? No copyright, no patents. You can manufacture any drug without paying for patents. Any computer chip. Any piece of high tech equipment. Anything. You can get around patents on automobile manufacturing. No more patent trolls.

No patents in software, biotech, or pharmaceutical industry.

Patents lead to a tragedy of the anticommons, and stifles innovation. As well as making pharmaceutical products expensive (pharmac isn’t free).

E.g. patents can slow innovation by: blocking researchers' and companies' access to basic, enabling technology through patent thickets.

This is just a “what if” though.

It might encourage massive innovation in biotech. Effectively free drugs, much easier to get cheap software.

For the geeks: just imagine what scientists/engineers/doctors/entrepreneurs in the biotechnology industry can do if there were no intellectual property? “Information wants to be free”, after all??

Intellectual property and patents stifle development, rather than incentivise it.. (in many cases)

Ps: I only posted this because I got nagged to post some stuff

PPS: could do it by means of direct democracy lol

Umm. And then the country could become an exporting and manufacturing powerhouse in pharmaceuticals. As well as using 3d printing to make their own (cheap) computer chips and replacement parts for technology. A way to get foreign currency? Increase exports?

****

Keynesian stimulus of industries that create jobs, and value add

Maybe subsidies/tariffs on stuff like paper. Anything downstream of forestry. Nz needs more value add in stuff downstream of forestry. And more jobs. Government investment in things like paper, cardboard, and woodpulp products, wood processing, wood products, building products, textiles made of food, furniture etc. forget nano materials and high tech shit. Trees literally manufacture a miracle product out of dirt, sunshine and air. Idk. Demerit tax on imported flatpack furniture. Investment in value add for raw material primary industry etc. blah. Umm. Focus on labour intensive stuff that creates jobs for people. Particularly jobs that aren’t “knowledge worker jobs”. Ordinary jobs for working class guys. Subsidies and tariffs protection for basic NZ furniture making with quality furniture; creates jobs for normal guys who don’t want to drive a computer all day. Jobs keep money circulating and keep people out of trouble.

I’m way out of practise with any economic ideas though. Basic economic stimulus and protectionism in favour of the NZ wood/pulp industries. Think about it?

There are also other things in food processing and other value add for food industry? Idk. Just ideas??

****

To the women in the New Zealand oligarchy:

You were misled by people like Siobhan, Brynn, Paul, Sarah, Emma, Matthew, Joseph etc. into being a part of an extremely horrible scheme, and into seeing me from an inaccurate point of view

Why did you guys leave me to suffer for all of those years in 17 Princeton Road? Crippled? 2016-2022

Why did you vote to keep me there?

Maybe I need answers before I can decide how I feel about you? [maybe I need answers before I can figure out how to feel about the situation?]

*******

*****

It’s important for a child/children to have a decent environment to grow up in, and an appropriate family structure to grow up in (I.e. do they have two decent parent who care about them?). Relatively speaking, it’s not that important to have dozens of women to sleep with.

And these people wanted a breeding scheme?

On a scale of 0-10, how much respect should I have for their judgement?

Are they deranged? Responsible? Insane?

If you give it a little bit of thought, this might help you to understand why I might have felt some resistance to some of their schemes. And I felt a bit unsure about these schemes from a long time ago (neighbour walking past the window talking about the scheme, or even as far back as Khandallah).

*************
*************

Try looking at it this way:

This is just one angle

Go back 9 years…

A group of people were responsible for damaging me:

Paul, Matthew, Siobhan, Brynn, Amanda, Anna, Joseph, and about 50 others associated, who could profit.

They broke my body, and kept it broken for seven years. Age 27 - 34. (2016-2023). Torso integrity is compromised”. My life was hell.

Hypothetically speaking, Why should I want to sleep with the women of that set?

I didn’t even know about “abrade technology” back then (2016–2023).

My story is written in my blog, piece meal. It is hard to put together, but a lot of it is there.

If people don’t know my story???! Why do they have a point of view!!?

*****

******

Back at 18

I used to get woken up heaps at night. By abrade.

Sometimes once every 90 minutes.

I might also get woken up in the night with night sweats. I’d soak my way through two t shirts per night. In night sweats. By abrade.

Sleep quality was poor. And it left me exhausted.

Umm. This might happen every single night. Every single night!?!?? And every day, blasted with negative health stuff. All the time!!! Until I have “abrade sickness”

I had abrade sickness from 18-21,22,23,24 etc. just long term abrade sickness. (Some exceptions, don’t take it literally)

I’d get hit with waves of fatigue, exhaustion. Overheating, and chills, during the day?? As well as tighten muscles.

(New term: abrade sickness?)

I’d get hit with abrades and stuff as far back as 18. Night sweats were around 20-22. Lots of stuff.

******

I tried socialising by going out for a meal at a restaurant for someone's birthday, but I didn't end up feeling so great. I was pretty unwell. I think it was D3 in Raumati for Amanda's birthday.

Strangely enough, I was able to walk all the way to the mall and back at the time. But I was unable to have a normal meal at a restaurant with friends.

Time period: sometime between 2012 and 2016. I can't recall. About 2014.

Someone looked at this one event themselves and observed it.

Those who are curious can do likewise.

[[it had something to do with the inner muscles of my back being tightened up]]

Btw, if you need to get up to speed, there is a table of contents.

Are people able to see the time I went to that restaurant? The last time I went out with friends? The one that celebrity viewed? Because I couldn’t even enjoy a meal out with friends??

****

Kumquats, they played at parachute back around year 2000 when I was a child. They were really good live. They played in the indoor auditorium called “the cage”. There were different tent stages at the festival. There was also the main stage etc. lads, Paul Colman trio, all star united also played at various times/events.

They had a Christian edm tent

Paul Colman trio was big in 2003 and 2004.

The big song that I liked in 2003 parachute was turn, but I also liked run. By Paul Colman trio. Hanae Motohashi was there. It was the last year we had Parachute at Matamata. Turn was big because of the world vision sponsorship thing.

2004: I went to parachute with the St Columbus (Brett walker, their youth pastor etc) crowd, but dad went also. It was there that we (dad, and I) conspired/decided that I should move from Taradale, Hawke’s Bay to Paraparaumu. Umm. He basically persuaded me, but idk how you guys want to see it??! (Mums place, to his). Headlining: Paul Colman trio, Newsboys. The lineup wasn’t great that year.

[Edit: my Dad told me that my mother was cheating on him. And that is why they split up. And that is one of the reasons I moved to live with him]

Iirc, I liked Pillar and Paul Colman trio. I kind of feel like Paul Colman trio carries the line up that year, for me? But the newsboys were the big act.

*******

*****

Design the use case for the reacher/grabber with snap-on/snap-off dishwasher-safe head.

If it’s really easy to remove head of the reacher and put it into the dishwasher. And extremely easy to put a clean head onto the reacher. Then people will automatically start using it for “mucky” tasks. They’ll use it for picking up gross things without a second thought.

Grandma can pick up the grossest, slimiest socks to have ever existed in a Mississippi summer. Or Bob with a broken hip can retrieve the half used toilet paper roll that fell into the toilet. Or Jane with a broken ankle and a moon boot can pick up a half dismembered native bird (and giblets + feathers) that the cat brought in.

And Hamish with a double knee replacement (and a bit too much weight) can pick up the half eaten cream bun that he dropped on the kitchen floor.

If the garbage bag you have on the bench falls over, and lands on the ground. What do you use to pick it up?

Construction: like “oxo good grips”, silicone over metal.

It comes with two spare heads.

*****

When I was young, I always admired inventors. Like Edison. I would read books about inventors, and invention. I even would day dream about inventions, patents and selling my inventions. I kept “ideas books” and mailed stuff to myself as a “poor man’s patent”, but knew I needed money and better tools to really do something fun. (Poor man’s patent was when I was literal child of maybe 9 years old, just child’s play)

At age 8/9 years old, I wanted to be an inventor. Who also sold and/or licensed his inventions.

This statement is indicative of my character, not a declaration of intention.

*****

I am a massive history enthusiast. And I love books.

I love history books, I love history lectures (see openyale, Harvard, Stanford), I love history podcasts and radio shows (see bbc and rnz)

I also read a bit about sociology, economics, criminology, accounting.

I studied commerce at university.

***

When my father did that thing a couple of months ago. He caused me excruciating pain again and again and again. It was one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced.

George Bush and a few others hurt me very badly.

***

Ummm. I was pretty sociable in school. I went to youth group, I hosted halo days, I sometimes held lans, I organised 20 person nights at cyber jacks (to play battlefield 1942). I went to the swimming pools early in 5th form with friends.

I went to youth group on Friday

My friends were… Jesse, Nathan, Aaron, Philip, Max, and Amanda.

It depends on what you mean by friends though!!?

Michael and Scott and Liam and a few others were just guys that were vaguely about. Friends of friends. Mostly in 5th

Siobhan was barely an acquaintance.

Brynn and I sat beside one another for two years in Japanese class. She and I were classmates. We got along okay. I never even visited her house? I thought she was good looking, but whatever. She was pleasant enough to be around.

Amanda sat beside me too.

I would hang out with Dad, Matthew, sometimes Glynn or Andrew Crawshaw (lived with us), Daniel Han, Taras, or sometimes other students.

Taras was with us only 6 months, Daniel for longer. I spent a fair bit of time hanging around them at home. But only really at home. They went to Kapiti college and were a year younger than me. We just kind of did whatever.??

We would just bullshit around doing nothing. He’d play a song on guitar. We might watch a thing on tv. We would jog a field. I’d steal the computer chair from Matthew, they’d conspire to get it back. It was all daft. But fun?? He helped me assemble my pc.

If I had wanted more friends, I could have made more friends. Brynn, and Joseph would have been strong contenders. But I already had friends?

Umm. Clare and I were classmates in accounting. But also a bit economics. We got along great. Should have been friends. Emma was also worthwhile friend material.

Also still had David, Ben, Jess.

****

FWIW, have read a little bit of the literature on sex trafficking and/or the sex industry from a variety of perspectives. I read about it from the economics, criminology, feminist, and Christian point of view. But don’t overthink it please. Some of what I read was academic, some was not.

*******

I have been in pretty poor health since 2006. This is because the system has been trying to destroy my health since 2006. They do all sorts of stuff. It’s horrible. Electronic stuff, and other meat/potatoes stuff like noise pollution.

Just bad health, straight through.

***

I became unwell at the age of 18, and stayed unwell. I saw many doctors, and they told me it was cfs over and over again, even though it was telco tower and satellite electromagnetic spectrum nervous system oligarch abuse.

****

Television

The most important thing we've learned,

So far as children are concerned,

Is never, NEVER, NEVER let

Them near your television set --

Or better still, just don't install

The idiotic thing at all.

In almost every house we've been,

We've watched them gaping at the screen.

They loll and slop and lounge about,

And stare until their eyes pop out.

(Last week in someone's place we saw

A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)

They sit and stare and stare and sit

Until they're hypnotised by it,

Until they're absolutely drunk

With all that shocking ghastly junk.

Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,

They don't climb out the window sill,

They never fight or kick or punch,

They leave you free to cook the lunch

And wash the dishes in the sink --

But did you ever stop to think,

To wonder just exactly what

This does to your beloved tot?

IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!

IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!

IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!

IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND

HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND

A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!

HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!

HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!

HE CANNOT THINK -- HE ONLY SEES!

'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,

'But if we take the set away,

What shall we do to entertain

Our darling children? Please explain!'

We'll answer this by asking you,

'What used the darling ones to do?

'How used they keep themselves contented

Before this monster was invented?'

Have you forgotten? Don't you know?

We'll say it very loud and slow:

THEY ... USED ... TO ... READ! They'd READ and READ,

AND READ and READ, and then proceed

To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!

One half their lives was reading books!

The nursery shelves held books galore!

Books cluttered up the nursery floor!

And in the bedroom, by the bed,

New text dump

New text dump:

Conflict

Visualisation

Dislocated shoulder

Husband and wife

Amanda and relationship:

Not de-conditioning

Squats

Floors in Khandallah

Rehabilitation

Floors

Further information about floors

Christian bookshop

Date night

Day dreaming

The scientific method

Sarah lawyer:

Between bluff and today

Deprivation of hygiene from 2016 - 2022:

Between bluff and today

A bit from my history:

A piece from the sermon in the mount:

A piece from one of Paul's letter to the Corinthians

Misc explanation:

What is a tech challenge?

My plan/hope is to…. ?

One really important thing:

Some general history/stories

Jess, general stories

A note about physio/therapy:

All three are in

A quick update:

Daydreaming:

Will Durant and philosophy

I wanted to make peace

Pseudoscience and Lysenko:

On the importance of loafing, idleness and thought experiments

What if you…?

A new electromagnetic civil rights and civil liberties movement:

The “I’d rather die than get a bunch of women pregnant and therefore ruin a bunch of kids lives” comment

Years and years and years of damage, harm and manipulation to my body:

The inner party gave tacit approval to my 6 years of torment (2016-2022).

Ability to exercise

Table tennis

Foreign students

More from the Kapiti language school:

// all of this stuff is just background

Brain Blank Blast:

Eyesight:

Willing to walk away empty handed

Electronic Weapons

Breeding scheme:

Freedom of association:

Note: attempts to quit

Ashburton:

The Socratic method:

What is terrorism?

Television

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Start here - Table of contents

Text Dump

Today - microblog