Random Archive Three

Random archive and b side comments

****

Saturday, 3 October, 2026

****

Table Tennis

Table tennis is one of the best sports out there. It's a lot of fun. And it's therapeutic (I.E. it's good for you). It's not dangerous, you can practise it indoors, it's a non-contact sport. It's good for your hand-eye coordination as well as the general agility and dexterity of your feet. It's good for your mind (all of the angles and spin) and it's great for your reflexes. And for all I know it probably staves off alzheimers a little bit (or a lot!).

I gave it up for Matthew's sake when I was about 17. And it reminds me of my father and brother too much. Both of them play and coach it.

But it's a good sport I think. One of the best out there. The pros greatly outweigh the cons. It's fun and it's good for you and it's fairly competitive when you want it to be. The downside is that there can be a little bit of a learning curve at some points.

I enjoyed it, and wasn't half bad either.

I played a fair bit of it growing up.

****

Friday, 2 October, 2026

The main reason I slept with any of these people. And the main reason I agreed to sleep with any of them is that... they said they would give me my health back via the magic wand.

The other reasons (earlier on) are that I wanted to be polite, or kind, or I didn't want to be seen as a prig or a bad sport.

I have told these people many, many times that I didn't want to get involved with them.

*****

What is honour?

Honour means high respect, moral integrity, or a public award.

***

Respect and Esteem: Great admiration or high public regard

Moral Integrity: Good character, honesty, and a strong sense of what is right.

Lesbians don't have honour.

They aren't worthy of admiration. They weren't held in high public regard. And they are extremely dishonest, don't have a strong sense of what is right or wrong. And they have extremely bad character (hi Janet Turnbull, Brynn Huso, Amanda Ward, Siobhan Theresa, Lesley Jones and many others).

The same is pretty much true of Communists and Chinese Confucians (not true of Japanese people, although influenced by Confucius)

****

Just a quick reminder to people that three out of our 120 members of parliament showed up as part of the cover up and silencing me. That's 1 in 40.

One in forty of our members of parliament showed up in person to intimidate me, silence me or otherwise to help me cover it up (the crime of crippling me for 6 years so that Amanda could try to get pregnant from having sex with me, and then when that failed getting IVF after fraudulently (obtaining through deception) gaining my sperm to have a child with Brynn. I.e. fraud and reproductive exploitation). And all of this after the first cover up of using a fake protection order, arrest and bogus charges of psychological abuse by failing to leave the house (family violence).

I'm still working on the basic overall story.

Chris Hipkins, Winston Peters and Andy Foster. We have 120 members of parliament.

Disclaimer: if it wasn’t Chris Hipkins, then it was a very good lookalike. And if it wasn’t Winston Peters, then he really reminded me very much of him!

****

You're just using empty signifiers. And hardly anything you say has proper meaning.

Next, I often choose to be proud and annoying. Because I am dealing with the Chinese who are reprehensible, pigheaded, stupid, proud, and cruel, but somehow don’t want to be disrespected for it (aka criticised for their appalling behaviour).

And so I choose to be silly in the way I speak.

****

Thursday, 1st October 2026

I hate having computers and inserted voices in my head. I want to get rid of them. This is some sort of hell world. Merely to have computers inside my head is horrible. I have felt this way since 2024 (?) when I first had them in my head. I want them out. As I told them back then, no amount of women in all of the world could make up for computers of this kind in my head. They're horrible. I want them out of my head and out of my nervous system too.

It's a top priority. And I guess that means that I need a place to shelter from this stuff.

****

What do I want? I want the same thing I have wanted since I was 18 years old. Which is to have my health back.

To do that I will need 6-12 months of total non interference with my nervous system and muscles so that I can rehabilitate myself.

****

Wednesday, 30th September, 2026

To the best of my knowledge, Paul molested a 10 year old Chinese girl who he was coaching in table tennis.

This is as far as I can tell.

*Half Chinese.

****

They’re bullshitting and engaging in confabulation…

They have falsely represented me as having taken oaths of silence and loyalty, as though I'm a signed up member of the Sicilian mafia in America.

I haven't.

And they keep on muttering nonsense about cosa nostra and omerta.

And it’s my father.

[And he (or possibly someone else) broke into my house to cut me lightly while I slept. Possibly violating bail.]

My point of view is that…

Their whole point of view is bullshit and that they should take all of their opinions and shove them up their arse.

****

Monday, 28th September, 2026

By the way, my father has just been convicted of child molestation.

He has another court hearing in February. I'm not sure what that one is for. I think that is for sentencing and jail time and sending him to jail itself.

I gather that he is going to prison for a while, I can't confirm that. I'm not sure for how long. He pleaded guilty to some of the things he was accused of but not all of them. And has been convicted of some of them. And he will have to “pay for them”. I think by going to prison.

He also just got his bail conditions changed too. He's allowed out of the house now.

I'm sorry that I couldn't talk more about this, but New Zealand laws might have penalised me hard for talking about it openly. Like name suppression and stuff. But I’m not sure how the laws work! And I can’t easily get legal advice at the moment!

I’m pretty sure that what I have said is true.

I don’t think he is going to prison until after February. I think it is very, very, very likely that he is going to prison.

I also suspect that Xi and the CCP interfered on his behalf, to help him reduce his charges, but I can’t prove it.

****

Thursday, 1 October, 2026

It was horrific, and a case of extreme exploitation

These people like to misrepresent things. And pretend that I was a massive pervert living at Princeton road for years from 2013 - 2022 just to have sex and stuff. Ummm. But it was actually a massively evil criminal scheme with massive exploitation. It was horrible abusive and Mengel-esque.

I was crippled in a horrifying way (not deconditioning) and it was disturbing. And then Amanda wanted to have sex all the time to get pregnant. It was very exploitative. But I didn't know why I was crippled. I had no idea. And so she had crippled me for years, while I was observed by wifi and cell towers. And tons of people monitored it. And she crippled me for years, but wanted sex again and again to get pregnant. I would have gladly skipped sex in that state! I was desperate to get healthy! I suffered horrifically. We talked often about how to restore myself to health. But she never told me the cause.

It's a much more horrifying story than they let on.

And hopefully I can write it in full someday.

****

A quick additional discussion

"Gist speak"

What did I say at the Copthorne hotel?

I am going to talk about what sort of sex I want to be having and I'm going to talk about it in my own way and in my own words and if you have a problem with it then you're only recourse is to kill me!

What did I want to say!!?

Ummm. Nice sex in a normal way. Usually missionary, but sometimes girl on top. Doggy style maybe only sometimes. Skip oral sex if they want. Make sure they are happy with kissing, because maybe it's not what they want with a total stranger (if they're new). Brunettes preferred over blondes, blue eyes a plus. Some asian also more than okay! Such as Japanese, Korean, Philippines, Thailand. Prefer not Chinese, but some of them are maybe okay (non mainland). Ummm. How vigorous? Ummmm. Not jackhammering in missionary? I don't know how to explain? Just have to get my health back and remember what to do -'d how to do it (which was actually okayish, probably, and tolerably enjoyable and pleasurable for the woman in question) and quickly improve what I can do once I have a partner who gives me feedback, and for me to have a body that works better. If you listen to my thoughts, then you will get the wrong idea. Because I prefer to fantasize about things other than that which I want to do. Because ordinary fantasies are boring. I would have asked to opt out of anal sex and face fucking, but I would opt out in my own words. I would have tried to get threesomes, but idk how easy that is to make happen. But anyway, that's the long and short of it. I also wanted to discuss some ethical issues.

****

What I might have done

What might I have wanted to do if they hadn't played silly buggers and denied me access to the documents I needed 2-3 years ago.

Criminal charges - fraud

Criminal - other, such as perjury and conspiracy to defeat justice

My criminal charges dropped

Custody of Lily!

Protection order gone

A protection order of my own banning Lesley, Amanda or Brynn having anything to do with me

A protection order against my father!!!!!

Clear my name

Tell my story

Sue everything that can be sued

Get Janet Turnbull in trouble for lying about me

Get my doctors in massive trouble

Complain about the police

Get two NZOM designations removed

I basically could have destroyed everything in sight...

And then I end up taking care of Lily, perhaps on the DPB depending on how well the court stuff goes. I probably would have loved taking care of her.

****

The only way I can be safe is to create a aluminium box to hide out. And it’s the only way to get my health back.

Also, I think that they had some plans to keep me crippled long term even if/while I slept with the women.

****

Wednesday, 30th September, 2026

Civil Wrongs (Torts)

Abuse of Process: This occurs when someone uses a legal process (like obtaining a protective order) for an improper, hidden motive rather than its intended legal purpose.

I could probably win big money on this. For example.

Also, conspiracy to defeat justice is a crime. And all of Lesley, Amanda and Brynn are guilty of that. In Amanda's application for a protection order, and many false statements in support of the narrative that I'm mentally ill and stuff. There is conspiracy. And also evidence of makeup on Lily. Soooo much stuff.

Conspiracy to defeat justice is actually a pretty big one. Just imagine what we might be able to get from places like the DIA or fertility associates if we have warrants?

Criminal contempt of courts and perjury. Also.

But more notes later. Just spitballing ideas.

• Core Action: An agreement between two or more people to obstruct, prevent, pervert, or defeat the course of justice.

• Jurisdiction: Applies to the course of justice within New Zealand or within an overseas jurisdiction.

• Nature: It is an inchoate or preparatory type of crime focused on the unlawful agreement to subvert legal processes.

Now if they conspired to tell dia to not give me information that would allow me to clear my name and avoid prosecution for abuse or to get custody. Then that is conspiracy to defeat justice.

Tons of conspiracy to defeat justice: me getting custody, or suing, or getting rid of a protection order, or having to spend money on lawyers to get rid of the criminal charges. And stuff like that.

Under Section 116 of the Crimes Act 1961, conspiring to defeat justice is an offence that carries a maximum penalty of 7 years in imprisonment.

Also, preventing me from discovering the fraud is conspiracy to defeat justice. Perhaps by making a phone call to the DIA, who owes me information. A lot of this stuff requires a lawyer to know which angle to take. There is so much criminal activity here.

Don’t forget that Amanda, Siobhan, Brynn and Lesley crippled me (with CCP support) so that Amanda could try to get pregnant, and then when that failed, so that they could get sperm for IVF. It’s horrific torture and crippling me so they can have babies.

****

When was the last time in the last 5000 years that China had good governance?

Have they ever been a good society? Which is well governed? And the people live good lives?

Or has it been a horrible place for a long, long time?

****

The greatest moral evil in the world today is chivalry. It is the most perverse and morally reprehensible form of cultural and moral subversion. If you hate chivalry, you’re on the right track.

****

What is the moral of the Monkey king:

If you are honest and brave and hate injustice. We will crush you and drive you out. You need to die inside, and we will kill your spirit and souls with Buddhism. The house wins and there is no justice.

****

Young men are badly mistreated in society. If you fought for justice and goodness and decency, then again and again you would fight on behalf of young men. Because young men burn with outrage against injustice and the mistreatment of people who don't deserve it. They bring more honour and compassion and respect for the value of life and for the value of other peoples lives than most other people.

****

The big issues are that I got crippled by this CCP backed clique/syndicate for 8.5 years and exploited for reproductive purposes. The crippling in this specific case counts as an extraordinarily severe and extreme type of state sanctioned torture. And the exploitation for reproduction could be tried under laws for fraud (the moral wrong is EXTREME), but the laws you could use are fraud: obtaining through deception.

I will keep on writing the story.

They crippled me horrifically so that Amanda could try to get pregnant naturally. And kept me that way for years. And then when she couldn't get pregnant, she and Brynn and her mother commit fraud to get Amanda pregnant by IVF. And then they engaged in a massive cover up (with CCP backing). Which involved perjury, assault, false statements to police and mental health services, misuse of police force, denying me information rightfully mine [DIA and Fertility Associates]. It also included intimidation by Chris Hipkins*, sexually perverted torture involving threats, constant masturbation, applications of excessive heat and cold, incredibly soft floors, yanking on my back muscles, attacks on my nervous system, and this sexually perverted torture was done on a badly disabled person in order to gain statements from me that I desired the women. To force me to say again and again that I wanted "wet arse pussy". And to force me to say these things again and again. Amongst other things. Which by the way, given that it resulted in long term disability, or was otherwise associated with it (I was disabled at the time) is actually punishable by death under Chinese law. And the Chinese president himself was responsible. The buck stops with him. This is a serious matter. And then further cover up involves placing me in massive danger, trying to force me through extreme applications of violence and threat of further harm to sleep with women I described as "pervert freaks". And who I said to again and again "get away from me you pervert freaks". And now I am in this space very badly hurt and crippled, half blind, unable to shower or wash. It is quite incredible. I was also coerced and threatened into sleeping with three women while I was in Christchurch. Oh, and the torture in Khandallah was not only of a sexual nature, but involved serious cognitive torture and damaged my mind. Both by trying the nerves and also by disrupting the normal habits and flow of thoughts. They wanted to blank it.

*Chris Hipkins showed up in Dannevirke to intimidate me. He showed up at a motel on a motorbike and made a big song and dance about fussing over his motorcycle while shirtless. He was staying in the room right beside mine.

I will now get back to writing.

Crippling me

Try to get pregnant naturally

Fraud to get pregnant with ivf

Cover up

Tons of torture

Still keeping me crippled

****

From my point of view (or one of my points of view, because I usually view things from many facets) people of the many peoples of the world have value and are precious. It is by choice that I see it this way. And it largely comes from a place of grace, compassion, kindness, love and mercy. As well as pity and justice*. And most of all by choice.

This is only one angle or facet.

* justice: if you're born in a bad place or with bad genes, it's not your fault. You're still a person. And I have compassion for people like that. Or with really bad weather that cooks your brain!

Some people want respect, and want respect based on power, merit, excellence, contribution or something. Or maybe on moral rectitude? Or respect based on their honour or valour. Or level of civilisation. Or in some people, their capacity for manipulation or cruelty. And some conflate capacity for manipulation or cruelty for power… They want to be seen as having value or respect because of those. But I dare say some people would be better off trying to make it on compassion, pity, kindness or mercy.

****

A lot of this could apply not just across race/ethnicity, but also when it comes to gender/sex or age? Or natural intellect? But that’s a conversation for another day.

****

And now a quote from Terry Pratchett

All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"

MY POINT EXACTLY.

Terry Pratchett

****

Does China execute people for the crime of torture?

Yes, Chinese criminal law allows for the death penalty if torture results in severe disability or death.

While the baseline punishment for crimes like "extorting a confession by torture" or "physical abuse of inmates" by law enforcement is typically up to three years of imprisonment, Chinese law applies heavier aggregating charges if the acts are severe. Under Articles 234 and 247 of the Criminal Law of the People's Republic of China, if torture or forced extortion of confessions leads to severe injury, permanent disability, or death, the crime is reclassified as intentional injury or intentional homicide. These upgraded charges carry penalties up to life imprisonment or the death penalty.

Am I essentially a prisoner?

Are you trying to force me to say things?

Are you trying to extort statements out of me?

Have I suffered severe disability?

Have I suffered severe injury?

Have I been tortured for the past 18 months by this syndicate in such a manner that I have suffered greatly and become severely disabled?

****

Can I get some sleep?

Tomorrow… I need to receive some plywood? And I need to talk to the police?

And they’re having a spaz because I told them that they should have let me opt out of anal sex ages ago. Back after I slept with Dasha and refused to do it with her.

By the way, after I went home with Dasha. The voices in my head told me to do it, and I was like… nah. It just as isn’t appeal. And their rule was “if you don’t _want_ something” it doesn’t count as a win”. And I needed a win. We slept together three times in the night, which was nice (I wasn’t feeling 100%, but looking at the bright side, there was some niceness to it! Even though I didn’t want to be out that night). And perhaps 20-30 times they told me to do anal sex in the night. They’re obsessed. But I’m not. They argued with me!

But I just needed a win so I could get my health back.

Ps: I see anal sex as probably wildly overrated. And at most probably something I’d try twice and hate anyway. Like a drug like cannabis (horrible drug, which is only worth doing to prove it’s no good). But I’ve tried to opt out of doing it with any of these women who are basically doing prostitution (sex work). And it’s a never ending conversation!! Which is disheartening for someone who actually tried many times to opt out of sex with these women altogether, in favour of just finding a normal girlfriend a few years down the track. Once I recover.

****

Tuesday, 29th September, 2026

It should actually be a pretty straight forward or clear cut criminal case.

A woman, her girlfriend/s and her mother cripple me for years. So that the woman can have sex with me to get pregnant. And then when she can't get pregnant, she gets surgery. And when she still isn't pregnant, she gets my sperm tested. And then she gets IVF without my knowledge or consent to have a baby with her girlfriend, using her womb, her girlfriend's egg and her husband's sperm. She uses sperm obtained for testing purposes only. This is fraud and exploitation.

And then these women engage in a campaign of intimidation, threats, torture, attacks, and use perjury to cover it up. And they try to extort him into having sex with his former classmates from school. And involve foreign powers, such as the CCP. And the former mayor of Wellington, Andy Foster. And Chris Hipkins shows up as part of the gang of stalkers to intimidate him when he leaves town. And they involve these people in the cover up (Andy Foster came to my home at 17 Princeton Road multiple times in 2022/2023).

And they keep on breaking into his house and stalking him as far as Auckland (up north) and Te Anau (down south).

But the question is how do I get the police involved, when if I tell them I got crippled for 8.5 years, and suffered 19 years of illness, being impaired, an invalid or totally crippled, I could get attacked by cell towers or satellites.

Tuesday, 29th September, 2026

****

Monday, 28th September, 2026

By the way, whenever I do things like get into or out of a car back in places like Christchurch. I have to do it weirdly. I can't move normally! I have to do lots of random and weird stuff just to navigate spaces.

****

I just quickly put this together...

By the way, I'm actually being stalked by people who have cut me in my sleep.

They cut me very lightly on my forehead, as an obvious form of intimidation and stalking and threatening behaviour.

They did this on the 20th/21st of August, 2026.

They have also broken my rice cooker. Cracked the lid of my rice cooker. Which happened maybe in August or early September. I can't remember when. It was a really nice rice cooker, because I love rice. They came into my house over night to do that.

(By remote control they have broken other appliances, such as 4 of my slow cookers, and my landlord's fridge, but that is a different matter).

They have in the past come into my room at 17 Princeton Road to cut underneath my eye.

Paul has attacked me in the past. Threatened me with institutionalisation. Made false statements to police. He made false statements to mental health services that I was thinking of killing myself and filed a section 8b which is what you do to get them institutionalised or in a government conservatorship.

Amanda has struck me.

She also cut me with sharp objects places in the carpet.

I think she killed my pet cat cupcake.

I have a great deal of "verbal abuse" stored on my spare phone.

She engaged in "financial abuse" against me by moving money.

She engaged in fraud and perjury.

And she and Brynn had a baby together using my sperm, Brynn's egg and Amanda's womb, before they started terrorising me to drive me out. More on this point later.

Also, Siobhan stalked me as far as Te Anau.

And I have had many incidents of Brynn or Siobhan or someone jumping the fence on the side of my house. And I know this because I have heard them.

I know it’s faint, but here it is. It’s very faint. You have to zoom in.

Rice cooker.

****

I might go to the police soon. I probably should have done it in August. Something like on the 22nd-30th of August. Because there may be security footage. And also they might be able to get the paperwork about IVF for me.

****

Writing plans for the future...

They crippled me when I stopped being a Christian (shortly afterwards). So that Amanda could keep on having sex with me. And then when she didn't get pregnant she saw doctors about it. And then when she had treatment surgery, she didn't get pregnant. They got IVF. And then discarded me, drove me out. And had massive corruption. But didn't bother to restore me to health!

This is what I want to write about! But I need to get there from 2012.

Be patient!

I'm still writing!

Please don’t argue about this paragraph… the topic is not ready yet…

****

Sunday, 27th September, 2026

****

By the way, my father has just been convicted of child molestation.

He also just got his bail conditions changed too. He's allowed out of the house now.

He has another court hearing in February. I'm not sure what that one is for.

I gather that he is going to prison for a while, I can't confirm that. I'm not sure for how long. He pleaded guilty to some of the things he was accused of but not all of them. And has been convicted of some of them. And will have to “pay for them”. I think by going to prison.

I’m pretty sure that what I have said is true.

I don’t think he is going to prison until after February.

I also suspect that Xi and the CCP interfered on his behalf, to reduce his charges, but I can’t prove it.

****

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2026/09/extra-post-about-what-i-wanted-back-few.html

****

2ish years ago..

The argument over anal sex, and also face fucking was this.

I wanted to say something like hey can I opt out of doing anal sex and fucking someone's face as a part of your system. As opposed to saying "I don't want to do anal sex or fuck someone's face".

This is because I felt that... it was more accurate and honest to say that. Because the truth is that I had the desire to do those acts (2ish years ago), but would prefer to not bother.

But we couldn't agree on terms, definitions, wording and so on.

I was like...

They say "do you want to do xyz", and I was like... I have the desire for that, but just because I have the desire for that, doesn't mean that I want to do that. Or that I have to do that. Maybe I can just set those desires aside, acknowledge them and leave it? It didn't matter to me much either way.

And I wanted to discuss the option of just making a joint or collective decision about choosing not to do acts like that.

It was all about wording.

****

Saturday, 26th September, 2026

One of the problems I have had with these people is that I wasn't allowed to opt out of anal sex with their prostitutes in my own words.

****

Friday, 26th September, 2026

Clare pushed anal sex, fairly hard. I think. This was 2.5 years ago. I can’t explain the curing or tell you about the converstion.

I must have listened to 500 - 1000 sermons by American mega church pastors, New Zealand pastors, bull Graham, back in the day. And read a bunch of stuff by dl moody, cs Lewis, Tolkein, Erwin McManus, Timothy Keller (two books), tons and tons of the Bible, Rick Warren's book, pilgrims progress (I loved that), tons of Christian ministry/leadership podcasts, and a bunch of other Christian material. I consumed a ton.

Ps: my mind is fried, and I'm exhausted, and I'm just kind of functioning based on past echoes of stuff I did in the past. I'm just muddling along.

****

The "product experience" of sex with grouchy and annoying women who have bad manners, morals, personalities and cause problems doesn't really stack up with video games and a pet cat?? But it seems that women play silly games to avoid acknowledging that truth. I'm not sure if they really believe themselves to be better or not. Maybe they fool themselves? Or maybe they believe their own lies? I'm not sure what motivates them.

But anyway, they're not delivering value for money.

But psychologically, they seem to not be able to understand that maybe the things they bring to the table or otherwise provide just aren't the main event? They're just not... in touch with reality!?

They show up with this idea that the gravity of what they bring to the table is massive, and I'm like. I'm not sure you understand that the gravity of the situation isn't what you think it is. That's the point I want to make. The gravity of the situation just isn't what it could be. The gravity or weightiness of what they’re offering just isn’t what they think it is. But they want to act like the weightiness of what they’re showing up to the table with is massive… and I’m like… I’m not sure we’re on the same page??

****

“Sexual marketplace value”

Smv. It’s not a marketplace, it’s communism of women.

This is communism of women:

Hypothetically speaking, having "rape rights" to this commonly held supply of women/wives, and the right to exploit them, it isn't a massive

"Plus" for me.

And secondly to have "status" amongst people who I look down on and despise isn't a win. It's a sad loss.

So your idea of a good smv “sexual marketplace value” giving me access to more women in this commonly held supply, it's stupid.

One of my heroes, faraday, even refused to be knighted.

Status and honours aren’t what I’m looking for in life if it means being alongside scum.

Edit: it’s “rape adjacent behaviour”. Or behaviour in the neighbourhood of rape. There is kind of some discussion there. And with some women it’s more exploitative and with some women it’s less.

****

******

****

For what it’s worth…

Crimes Amendment Act 2005

138 Sexual exploitation of person with significant impairment

Every one is liable to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 10 years who has exploitative sexual connection with a person with a significant impairment.

This counts for Amanda 2012-2022, and would count for Brynn and others now.

****

These people crippled me for 6 years, and I even had a nurse come to regularly wash my back, chest and arm pits.

And even she didn't tell me why I was sick.

These people don't count as proper people.

By the way, the term "these people" doesn't just mean the Chinese. It includes my father, mother, brother, Brynn, Siobhan, Lesley, Amanda, Uncle Andy, Anna, Grace, Ambika, Nana, Grandma, Uncle David, Aunty Wendy as well as the Chinese.

****

Thursday, 26th September, 2026

I told these women again and again that I didn't want them, because the thought of bringing a child into the world with someone as vile, malignant and retarded as them for a mother is so horrible. And the need of a child to have a good mother far outweighs my need to get and enjoy sexual pleasure. The idea of a child having a woman like any of these for a mother is such a negative thing that it outweighs the value of any sexual pleasure I might gain.

The net negatives outweigh the net positives.

And also they had a heavily implied goal of having babies with me.

And so I told them that I didn't want them.

I told them this maybe 1000 times. In different words sometimes perhaps. But that's the gist of it. Babies need good mothers. And the negative thing of a child having a mother like them outweighs my need to enjoy sexual pleasure. This is a point of view based on compassion for the children, as well as altruism and self sacrificial love in general (not that I am beholden to those values, given that I can practice moral behaviour without strict rules).

I would sometimes repeat it a bunch of times in a row. Like 5-10 times in a row.

And on this basis, I would like it if the Chinese could be pulled off of the entire thing, and all persons such as Paul, Siobhan, Brynn, Jesse and Sarah could be neutralised.

This is gist level truth, not quibble proof truth (I might have said it anywhere from 300-1500 times, maybe. Or my wording was different).

It would be such a moral evil to bring a child into the world with one of these diseased creatures as the child’s mother.

****

Chinese Language

Their language isn't even good enough for developing a mind that can think properly. Nihao.

Source: See Harvard’s courses on Chinese history. Then do some independent research.

****

Mentioning that I don’t want a woman from their set, because they all wanted babies.

And the net positive of having fun having sex with them was outweighed by the net negative of bringing a child into the world only to suffer the fate of having one of these worthless shit stains of a woman as their mother. Children need good mothers.

And also the drama associated with the child. And also cost of the child time in both time and money. I thought that they wanted to sink me in child support.

I told them that it would be a moral issue.

And so I said, I don’t want you.

Net negative of the child 5-10 million.

Net positive of having them, $50 daily for a year is 20k for five years is 100k. $300 daily for a year is 120k. For five years is 600k.

Well, chance of having a baby is about 20% if no condoms and they use birth control. And then… 0.2 times 5-10 million is equal to 1-2 million dollars.

Therefore it isn’t worthwhile.

Expected value returned, is 600k minus 1.5 million, which leaves us 900k in the red

Which is to say, they’re not a good deal. I tried to tell them this.

****

Wednesday, 15th September, 2026

I don't argue or reason with these people all that much. Logic only gets you so far. And they don't seem sensible enough for proper arguments.

Instead, I pleaded with them again and again to just leave me alone. "Leave me be", I said. "Shut up and let me go", I said.

And I pleaded with them to just give me my health back and let me live out my life in peace. On the grounds of my having suffered so much, having been crippled for 7ish years (back then it was just 7, now it is 8.5).

Again and again I pleaded with them to just give me my health back and let me live out my life in peace. On the grounds of my having suffered so much.

****

Boxing and being “spring loaded”

There is another story line that I should probably discuss.

Which is that the habits I picked up in boxing at the age of 15/16/17 has an effect on my posture and the patterns of tension in my body.

And you jump rope a lot, and bounce around a lot in stance on the balls of your feet, and this connects in with the tensions and tone in your stance. And there are a lot of push ups and sit-ups, and plenty of bag work.

And because of that, the whole body is "spring loaded".

I trained in shadow boxing and moving around in stance, so that my stance was alway spring loaded and connected in with my punches. I did more shadow boxing than bag work. Much more. And so much jump rope.

And that there may have been some significant interactions between that situation of being spring loaded and having tension in my body, and the stuff they did to attack my posture and back starting at the age of 18. There may have been some significant connections and interactions between the patterns of tone and tension put into me by boxing and boxing training and the attacks made upon my body and posture electronically, especially in Europe in 2006/2007 on the trip with my mother.

And I might need to add that to my story sometime. And I might need to point out that these people spaz when I do that.

Also, the fact that I had somewhat tight shoulders in childhood may be a worthwhile snippet of information too. That doesn’t impact upon health. But it feeds a smidge into how your posture is in my teens when I get into boxing. In normal circumstances it doesn’t matter. But for a boxer who trained his stance into himself very hard, it might matter. My stance and stance training was fundamental. And I relied on my stance, as a whole unit for my power and capacity to pinch and block. I trained my stance quite a bit! I trained stance, movement, footing (footwork) and shadow boxing altogether. And I was a big fan of jump rope. I trained a bit. So this is in fact part of my story. Even though people try to say that it is not!

But still the main issue is that my mother destroyed my health when I went over to Europe in 2006/2007. This is in my life story.

****

When I was young...

And a computer game geek (I loved computer games, they were my favourite hobby/pastime/obsession).

As a child of about 9, I once said to myself, "I like rugby at lunch times, and I like it even more than video games". I said that rugby is more fun than video games. Now this only lasted about a week. And I returned to preferring video games. But for a massive computer game player, that's pretty good going.

The point is that I was very much a video game guy who loved reading, and saw himself as more defined by his high levels of natural intelligence. But for a brief moment I was like, nah, I prefer playing rugby. I wish I could play that after school for a bit, rather than video games. I thought it would be more fun to play rugby after school than video games.

So I was definitely a video game geek and stuff like that, but I liked the other stuff too. And I liked casual games of things like rugby, hockey, bullrush and so on.

I'm putting this in here just so that it's harder for the computer system to lie about my childhood.

I might just do a better (full) childhood story later. And don’t forget… I might have had a week or two where I said “rugby is my favourite fun thing to do” but the previous 50 weeks I would have said that I like video games, books or climbing trees. And sometimes I would have said I like going swimming, or going to pools where they have good water slides. And maybe playing rugby at lunchtime was bumped down to two or three on the list. I was nine!

I liked bullrush and “fake American football” as well, along with rugby. And we even tried to come up with plays on paper that we could use. Don’t forget: we were kids of about 8-12.

****

I like Christians.

They have made a public commitment to try to be a good person. Or something like that. To repent of their life of wrongdoing, and to be loving, kind and patient. To stop sinning. And they're saying they agree with Jesus and his words in the sermon on the Mount.

Some Christians are just plainly bad people, or just pretending to be Christians (depending on how you look at it). But with that as an exception, I like Christians.

I reckon that to commit publicly to trying to be nice and good and decent is a massively good thing.

But I like Christians.

****

Repost:

Massively important stuff that got lost for a while

If you’re wondering where “the drop box of garbage went”, then it’s here.

Drop box of garbage v3

It got taken down because some of the stuff was considered to be too controversial. And so I left it down for a few months, the deleted a ton of stuff, edited a bit, and put it back up. It should be okay now.

There is some massively important stuff in there about IVF and fraud. And still yet more to come on that storyline!

****

These people crippled me for 6 years, and I even had a nurse come to regularly wash my back, chest and arm pits.

And even she didn't tell me why I was sick.

These people don't count as proper people.

****

Reason and the Chinese Orientals

They want to use reason without first embracing the social custom of having sensible conversations.

They don't even bother to try to have sensible conversations.

They aren't willing to speak in a clear headed, fair minded way. And they haven't ever built that habit.

They feel no sense of responsibility or duty to the cultural customs associated with sensible conversations, or speaking in a clear headed, fair minded way. And they never developed the manners necessary for them to develop these customs associated with conversation, communication and speech.

So what business do these foolish, oriental dunderheads have with attempting to misuse reason?

****

Monday, 14th September, 2026

I tried many times to get rid of the women lol. Don't ever forget that.

I tried to reject them.

****

Paul used to block and attack people who wanted to come to Princeton Road (and other situations) who wanted to help me!

I updated a quick snippet on my religion page.

****

Massively important stuff that got lost for a while

If you’re wondering where “the drop box of garbage went”, then it’s here.

Drop box of garbage v3

There is some massively important stuff in there about IVF and fraud. And still yet more to come on that storyline!

****

These people crippled me for 6 years, and I even had a nurse come to regularly wash my back, chest and arm pits.

And even she didn't tell me why I was sick.

These people don't count as proper people.

****

When I was young...

And a computer game geek (I loved computer games, they were my favourite hobby/pastime/obsession).

So I was definitely a video game geek and stuff like that, but I liked the other stuff too. And I liked casual games of things like rugby, hockey, bullrush and so on.

I'm putting this in here just so that it's harder for the computer system to lie about my childhood.

I liked bullrush and “fake American football” as well, along with rugby. And we even tried to come up with plays on paper that we could use. Don’t forget: we were kids of about 8-12.

****

Added:

I wanted to play rugby in a team when I was about 8/9/10/11, but I never got around to it.

Also, strangely enough as a child I always hated watching sports on TV.. I was fussy! And hated watching sports on TV. But I said that sports are for playing. Not for watching. And I wanted to play rugby, not soccer. It’s not a big story line! And it doesn’t matter!

But in the end I ended up doing martial arts and boxing. And I told myself that this is my sop to masculinity. Because I was cynical and grump about that too.

****

Sunday, 20th September, 2026

By the way, the stuff I explained in how I got this way part two only explains half how bad it is, or maybe a third.

It's actually much worse.

****

And I haven’t fully explained all of the stuff that happened from 2013 until 2017, involving being unable to rest in any safe or comfortable physical position. And having to listen to podcasts all day. Because that is quite relevant. I explained a bit.

****

There is actually a ton of injustice in this whole situation, the ivf/baby stuff and crippled me for ages. And that’s a huge part of the story. And a ton of horrible stuff to try to cover it up.

Perhaps that’s why it’s so bad?

Xi and a bunch of other people backed and supported a really nasty thing, and then it got worse, and I got crippled, and then I was crippled for years, and then Amanda had a fraudulent ivf baby, and then a ton of people did really, really illegal stuff to cover it up. And then… these people were afraid of the consequences of the basic story being told in full, and of legal justice occurring. Like Paul and Brynn and Amanda get jail time. And what if Xi backed a criminal lesbian breeding scheme masterminded by a pedophile against a genuinely good guy, a kindhearted genius, and then backed a giant cover up scheme involving police, government doctors and other medical professionals, two people with the NZOM, one MP. And the DIA. And that also involved causing him devastating and debilitating harm for 19 years, and also crippling him for 8.5 years. And an appalling coverup. And refusing to listen to his protests that he just wants to get his health back.

And what if as part of a coverup, Xi himself ordered a “brainwashing” scheme that involved and included 76 hours of forced and threatened masturbation, enforced by attacks on David’s own muscles.

It’s actually a massive injustice, a travesty that happened. And the cover up is bad too.

****

Stuff

A lot of men feel that kindness (and niceness!!!) matters more than the truth, especially when it comes to the looks of a woman, and so will over praise a woman who isn't actually very nice to look at. Or is nothing special.

Kindness > Truth

And I think that a lot of White Western men do this to the Chinese women they are obliged to sleep with, because they went to be nice (or kind).

****

Massively important stuff that got lost for a while

If you’re wondering where “the drop box of garbage went”, then it’s here.

Drop box of garbage v3

There is some massively important stuff in there about IVF and fraud. And still yet more to come on that storyline!

****

The Chinese are basically retarded. The mainlanders at least. And more the leadership than the rest. But to live in a Confucian society or mainland China is to become somewhat retarded.

****

A quick account.

When I had sex with Dasha, they then asked me to do anal sex.

It was my father's voice in my head.

I said, no thanks, I don't want to do it.

They asked me again and again to do anal sex.

I told them again and again that I didn't want to do it.

All through the night and into the morning, I was asked again and again.

But I said no again and again.

I did sleep a bit. On and off.

We had sex twice more. Once with her on top. And the third time with me on top.

But I did not do anal sex with her.

***

Then they didn't give me my health back the next day, even though I was supposed to receive it back once I had sex (one cream pie).

And having my health back was the only thing I actually wanted from them.

***

We argued for days (weeks?) on and off about anal sex. They still wanted me to do it.

I slept with another women L----. She was nice, but a little eccentric.

I don't even know why I slept with her. But I was supposed to.

But they didn't give me my health back.

Which was all I wanted.

For the "game" to end and to be left alone. And to have my health to be given back.

***

We had more discussions and arguments about anal sex.

I argued that I shouldn't be expected to do it.

Again and again, I argued that I shouldn't be expected to do it.

****

And then I slept with Robyn.

But I didn't want to be out on the town at all.

And anyways I tried anal sex, but didn't really work.

And then anyway, we didn't end the game. I didn't get my health back.

And that incident bothered some people, but actually no one got hurt.

And these people insisted that I do it.

I asked to be able to opt out. But they wouldn't let me.

I actually really needed to go and rehabilitate my health. It was actually quite urgent.

****

Saturday, 19th September, 2026

****

If you’re wondering where “the drop box of garbage went”, then it’s here.

Drop box of garbage v3

There is some massively important stuff in there about IVF and fraud. And still yet more to come on that storyline!

****

From the cutting room floor, cut from a part of my life story:

Also, back in Auckland (in 2025), I told them many times that I didn't want the women. They had told me that the way the games worked was that I was "wagering" for them.

And so then I told them that I quit the wager. And I didn't care to wager for them.

And that to associate with such horrible people (the fae) was a disgusting proposition to me. And that I was appalled by it. And I told them that I didn't want to be part of their set, because they are so morally horrible. And that to receive women and sex as compensation for all all the horrors that I have experienced and have had inflicted upon me was reprehensible and that to allow women to be exploited like that on my behalf was a horrible idea to me.

And I said again and again "I am required to wager? I wager not." I don't want to wager for these women. But they used violence again and again to cause me to be persuaded to "fight" for the women. I did not want to fight for the women.

****

Friday 18th September, 2026

I posted this in random archive 2, and I need to fold it into my writing on the Hutt road, Raine Street and Khandallah Road post. They actually forced me to masturbate day in day out for months. And attacked me and threatened me if I stopped. I will explain it better later (this is gist level truth, not quibble proof truth). But they actually did attack me whenever I stopped masturbating for a couple of hours, and ignored the “programmed cues”, in an attempt to coerce me into masturbating while scrolling through music. By the way, the programmed cues were basically implied threats. Anyways I’ll have to try to write up my story.

And it was Xi’s idea, apparently. Personally, his idea to “reprogram me” using music to “blank my mind”, and then replace my views. It’s actually just threatening you. By the way, they don’t understand the mind. They are just threatening you into thinking certain things, or stopping thoughts, or saying things, and performing actions. It’s just extreme mental torment and extreme threatening behaviour. It’s just threats of violence and actual violence. They just fried and damaged my mind and nervous system and minds eye. Not that orientals value the mind in the first place, given that most of them don’t have good ones to begin with.

All will be explained! And soon I hope. There is so much to write and explain. And even once I write it down, I’ll have to change it once the back story catches up.

****

This is the bit I wrote ages ago, and I am reposting it now. I wrote this one in tiny text and hid it.

Some of these old people are a total write off of a human.

Chivalrous behaviour in the elderly is the number one sin that can be committed in the new constitution of New Zealand.

Umm. Some people think of me as a misogynist. I am not. The real issue is that old men are a disease.

The punishment for all old men over the age of 65 sleeping with a coerced female without having married her is 40 strikes of the cane. Per woman.

Old men who fail to become monogamous and married but keep on having sex should be thrown in jail.

No sex for old men other than if they get married.

Maybe introduce another type of contract that is similar to marriage, that allows people to enter into long term monogamous relationships without it being a pledge for life. But make it highly regulated. And they can't have anyone under the age of 40. And there is a long term cooldown. If they break up. Especially for "leadership". They should actually all be celibate over the age of 65. Men. If they are unmarried.

They are what's wrong with society.

And they will do *anything* to protect this supply of coerced, trafficked sex. Including "protecting" women (harlots) from inconvenience and frustration and even mild unpleasantness. This is what chivalry. Protect harlots from blowback. Chivalry is the biggest sin and biggest failing of our society. It is the original subversion of western Christendom. It's horrible.

If some of these geriatric males were actually men, and not just worms, they would have defended me from these deranged, vile and self absorbed harlots, instead of pretending that they was defending them from people like me.

Ps: old men have worse morals than young men. And young men have better morals than women.

The age of morality is maybe 26.

And the age of wisdom is 40.

****

Next, these people are trying to mistreat me, and pretend that I am a pervert.

I’m not.

I had people cripple me for years, then later had them threaten and force me to masturbate every day all day 12-17 hours a day while telling women I desired them (I didn’t, and if I did it was a technicality). The threat was that I would be too crippled and damaged to seek custody of Lily, thus protecting Brynn and Amanda.

And the. After 75 or so days of constant masturbation, and months of crippled solitary confinement, they encouraged me to fantasize about unnecessary and gross things. Ahahaha. And they call me a pervert. And they did all of this while observing me through cell towers. At the time I thought that they were observing me through cameras. This point cannot be over emphasized. The camera bit.

I actually had 7 years without showering because I was too crippled to function.

I dismiss immediately all objections and criticisms of me and my behaviour. And I feel neither guilt nor shame.

****

I like the people of the planet krikkit in the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.

They wanted to play cricket and sing little songs.

What if the people of planet krikkit are right?

****

What if the modern equivalent of cricket is just hanging out and playing Halo or video games split screen with the guys while drinking coke and eating pizza?

Uhhh. As well as games like cricket, baseball, table tennis and basketball.

How does all of this rubbish about sex and sex games and sex pests and stuff like that and status help with society becoming more hospitable to things like that? Hospitable to a culture that consists of guys playing Halo and drinking coke and pizza? Or hospitable to the type of guys who want to have tons of time for stuff they enjoy. Whether it be casual sports, halo 2, board games in a cafe or park, or cards with their friends, or other vaguely sociable video games?

As for women, is society hospitable to the types of women who want to spend time with and love and cherish the type of men who enjoy those things (that might be a weak point).

****

I got sequestered in a multiple years long breeding scheme where they also crippled me. And I was expected and pushed to keep on having sex with this women who wanted essentially for me to breed her, even though her cronies had crippled me and I was covered in gross dead skin and filth. And then in this breeding scheme the woman was infertile and so they engaged in fertility fraud and then using corruption to get rid of me. While still keeping me crippled.

And whenever people wanted to help me, to liberate me, or save me, given that I was crippled, they prevented help from arriving to help me in the Princeton road house.

And then when I wanted to raise the alarm and get help. They claimed I had gone to war against them, and spazzed and did worse things to me. And crippled me worse, damaged me more, wasted years of my life and tortured me harder.

It's horrific.

And they faked and lied about everything.

And then they go into conniptions whenever I try to tell my story. Just stop attacking me, and let the story be told. It makes a lot more sense once I tell the whole thing. Especially the bits about seeing lots of doctors, and the harm they did me, and how useless they were. Once you understand that, then you'll understand 2016-2022 better. And why I didn't go to hospital. Furthermore, you'll understand better how I got sick.

The story needs to be told.

Ps: also, the involvement of my family and church and various pastors needs to be further discussed. I went to family members, my church and fellow Christians at church, and my church elders and pastors from the past for help. And got nowhere. This includes Stan, Geoff, Brett and Sue Walker, and Mike Hocking. I’ll explain it more another day. And also Brett and Sue Walker, I talked to their son David Walker. Who maybe talked to his parents. I told them directly that I had been crippled for years. But they weren’t any help. I told them in my own home. Face to face. Back in 2022.

Some parts of the story won’t make sense until I write the whole thing.

****

These people allowed Paul to function as "lawyer" sometimes. According to wifi

They say, “a lot of the time”.

That is a travesty..

****

Thursday, 17th September, 2026

I haven't played natural selection two. Nor have I played halo 4 and 5. And I've only played halo 3 a few times, and I wouldn't mind trying that for online play.

And here we are talking about a bunch of chicks who took me away from it all for 15+ years.

****

What is the real issue?

The real issue is America.

How then shall we solve it?

We need to deal with corruption in the American republic.

And fight corruption and restore the America republic.

How?

With the design philosophy of reverse social engineering.

Get many, many aluminium sheds out to the general American public. And then they can restore their republic. Clear out corruption. And make it good again. They can make America good again.

That's the real issue. Not these Chinese!

And if we have enough sheds out there, then many people can reclaim their sanity by just chilling out in their own backyard to have a good (private) talk. And normal conversation can resume.

How many people could be restored to sanity in a situation like that?

And also, proper politics could resume or have a new beginning and be renewed.

Maybe people have enough sheds that they can participate in policing or information security and sort that out! Or at least the experts can.

And maybe they sort out the policing and information security issues at the grassroots level, and journalism. And they can then get the telco networks under control, and AI under control. And switch it all off. And start trying the various players for "mass common assault". All sorts of courts in all sorts of jurisdictions could do it.

Let's make America work properly again and restore their republic (maybe).

And once their society is working again, and is less corrupt, maybe people in places like New Zealand or Australia can have some peace.

I’m just floating some ideas.

****

If they were cheap and ubiquitous and you could just buy them with same day online delivery, how many Americans would buy an aluminium shed?

How many would have one for the backyard, and two for the garage (the garage lets you house your kids in one and mum and dad in the other one).

****

Wednesday, 16th September, 2026

****

As I have said many, many times in the past.

I just want to have my health back. And also to stop being attacked.

I have suffered horrifically in my life. And been very badly mistreated.

But no one listens.

****

If the Chinese are allowed to have opinions, then so are you

In a world where the Chinese can have opinions and give advice, or try to tell people what to do, then I think that literally anyone can have opinions of any kind or give advice. Or suggest to other people what they should do.

I mean, just look at their history. Including modern, medieval and ancient. Great Leap Forward, cultural revolution, great famine, elixir, disease, foot binding.

They screwed up the market for steel and food back in the day.

And now they're doing a market for "sexual value" and modifying the manner in which people treat one another and also changing the manner in which people think and changing education (changing thought is changing education) and access to information.

They're daft, retarded and cruel.

And so, anyone should feel entitled to have opinions and give advice of any kind. If even Chinese Communists and Chinese people in general can have opinions, then anyone can!

Anyone with an opinion, anywhere, anytime is just as valid and worthy as a Chinese communist. If not much, much more valid and worthwhile.

****

By the way, one of the really good use cases for "swingers, polyamory, adultery and casual sex" licenses is that it lets yiu exclude that sort of people from the clergy and church leadership. You ought to know what sort of people you're dealing with, and who is being bribed or controlled with sex.

This is one of the reasons I came up with the idea.

****

Emails

This is kind of reference post, full of emails relating to my mother. It provides details to show my mother’s involvement. You probably want to read the life story 1-7 first. Before this one. And the extras. Think of this one as evidence and deeper coverage of the period of time. It shows allllll of the emails from 22/11/2006 until, 11/08/2007. I hope to include more emails. But I’m tired. It’s kind of here for reference purposes but there is a fair bit in it about the wedding and my health and doctors. Basically, my mother is out to get me. Ahahhaha. You get a lot of history.

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2023/09/emails-with-my-mother.html

I asked her for a lot of help with my health problems and I asked for a lot of health advice over the years. I intend to include this as an “extra” alongside the main story. Just so people can skim through it if they want.

****

Tuesday, 15th September, 2026

I have suffered debilitating illness and harm for 19 years and been crippled for 8.5 of those years. These people caused me to suffer debilitating harm and illness for 19 years and to be crippled for 8.5 years of that. And 6 months of those were spent being chased around the country.

There are 18 y/o adults alive today who were born after the point that these people caused me to start experiencing debilitating illness.

Define:

Debilitated means made very weak, tired, or lacking in strength, often due to an illness, injury, or lack of food.

Monday, 14th September, 2026

****

Maybe I'll turn this into a post:

Exercise and politics

If I had a coherent political ideology or plan for political change...

My recommendation for exercise would be that you find one sensible way of staying active and that you do that. This is if you don't have one already.

Something like cycling, swimming, tennis, dancing, walking/hiking, going to the gym (to exercise in moderation), using a rowing machine, playing table tennis, jogging (walk-runs are better in my opinion, jogging is lame, but that's just my opinion). Aqua-aerobics or other exercise at the swimming pools. Maybe a sport, maybe gym, maybe weights or strength training, or maybe cardio.

And then you do whatever your sensible activity is.

It is important to stay active.

But it's also important not to let exercise take over your life. In my opinion it's important not to let exercise take over your life.

And just make sensible decisions!

Later on, if you want. Add a second appropriate activity to what you currently do. Maybe you play tennis, but you start cycling as well. Or you swim, so you add weights at your local gym twice a week. Or you walk, and you add table tennis.

****

Lastly, if you have an approach that you prefer (maybe you lift, do cardio, stretch and play a sport or otherwise train in a martial art or something) then just do that approach. If it makes sense to you, then just keep doing the thing that makes sense to you.

****

Ps: As for the last point, it doesn’t have to make that much sense for you to tell yourself that it makes sense on some level. Just make decisions that seem appropriate for you.

If you choose to embrace something that seems like a form of madness to other people, then it’s okay to do that if it seems best to you. Like boxing when you’re an adult, or if you have a bizarre need inside yourself to complete an Ironman, or if you want to do CrossFit, or you get into Muay Thai and take it seriously and also lift at the gym. You’re just making your own choices, and you’re free to choose.

****

Sunday, 13th September, 2026

These people actually caused me debilitating* health problems for almost 20 years. Including 8.5 years crippled.

*for example, I haven’t had a proper gym workout since early 2007. And that wasn’t a fun workout and I felt bad after it. And my last martial arts classes were in April 2007 iirc.

****

Next random point, with my life story I have been writing. I have to write the early bits before the later bits make sense. The early bits are already important in and of themselves. But they’re doubly important if you want to make sense of the later bits.

****

Did the Chinese "elixir of life" fight against STIs and skin diseases

Yes, historically, key components of the Chinese "elixir of life" were used to treat STIs and skin diseases.However, this happened because the elixir was not a single herbal tea, but a toxic alchemical mixture heavily reliant on mercury, cinnabar (mercury sulfide), arsenic, and sulfur.

While ancient Chinese alchemists and emperors consumed these formulas seeking immortality, mainstream medical practitioners simultaneously repurposed these same exact minerals for specialized topical and systemic treatments.

⚔️ Fighting STIs (Syphilis and Gonorrhea)

When sexually transmitted infections like syphilis (often recorded historically in China as "hateful sores" or duijing chuang) spread, Chinese doctors utilized the mineral bases of alchemical elixirs to fight them:

* Mercury and Calomel: Second-century alchemists refined "quicksilver" (liquid mercury) for vitality. By the Tang and Ming dynasties, physicians discovered that mercury compounds could aggressively clear syphilitic chancres and lesions.

* The "China Root" (Tufuling): To combat both late-stage syphilis and the severe mercury poisoning caused by treating it, Chinese medicine used Smilax glabra (China Root). This plant became so famous for "sweating out" venereal toxins that it was exported to Europe in the 16th century as a miracle cure.

****

The wallowed in filth and grossness. And swapped diseases. They swapped venereal diseases, they swapped skin diseases, and they got diseases from bad water, and through diarrhoea they put disease back into the water.

And then they chugged mercury and elixirs.

It's a sad society.

Malthus:

And the commoners were so poor they couldn't eat or stay warm. And this stunted them cognitively and physically. It was a horrible society.

****

Are video games the meaning of life?

I have joked many times in my life that video games are the meaning of life. And that I was lucky enough to discover the meaning of life in my late teens.

But I can't play games! Not properly for long, long time.

And it's not 100% a joke. Games were such a big part of my life. I miss games so much.

****

Education Page

I have delisted the page with the title "education" because I felt that it was surplus to requirements.

It doesn't need to be on the table of contents.

It's still stashed away elsewhere on my website though. For the sake of completeness.

I might sometime create a page called "deleted pages" and link to all my be delisted pages there.

And I might improve my formatting and the labels in my table of contents.

And then I intend to get back to writing my page about Raine Street, Khandallah Road and Hutt Road.

****

Emails to read

Here is a page full of emails that might help you to understand some parts of my life story better:

https://howcommunicatetwo.blogspot.com/2019/06/random-page.html

It’s emails between me and my mother.

It’s a bit of a slog/read. And you need to have read previous stuff. The previous stuff matters a lot. Especially things like doctors page and misc stories, background stories and life story parts 1-7.

But some of you might have missed this one.

****

Were the Chinese just "de whatevering" the Chinese small scale farmers and peasants during the Great Leap Forward when they caused the great Chinese famine? And 40 million people died? In the greatest and largest non-war time massacre of all time?

Ps: if you behave in a hostile manner to other people, berate, attack and coerce them, and they die. Then it's your fault.

****

Ummmmmm.

Can I opt out of doing anal sex with the women, as a part of this system?

And can I do it in my own words and in my own way and by using my own mental structures of mind and thought?

My conception of the system is that we use horrible cell towers to coerce women into having sex with us, and that much of this behaviour can be described as "rape adjacent behaviour".

By the way, the whole conflict in Copthorne hotel was based on the fact that I wanted to opt out of certain acts, but I wanted do it in my own words and in my own way and by using my own mental structures of mind and thought.

Did you guys know that?

They asked me do you want to do certain acts? And I said no, not really. And they accuse me of lying. And I say, just because I desire something, it doesn't mean that I "want" it. And we went around in circles. I wanted to opt out of certain acts.

I.E. face fucking and anal.

But they wanted me to change what I visualised, instead of just asking to opt out of certain acts.

Basically, I wanted do it in my own words and in my own way and by using my own mental structures of mind and thought. But they wouldn't let me.

They wanted me to do it by means of their structures of thought and mind and stuff like that. And what was the source of the conflict.

And then we had such trouble talking that I tried to write a "menu". Of things I was opting out of, and things knows opting four of. But they got really, really, really, really upset with that too.

They're soooooooooo wedded to their ideas and theories. And intentions and structures of thought and mind. That they've just become retarded and so violent.

Also tried to create regulations. Like I’m allowed to insist on a cup of tea before I sleep with any of the women.

And a list of acceptable sex acts.

But they actually mocked me on that one, especially the “list od acceptable sex acts”. Like, stuff I wanted to do.

****

Friday, September 11, 2026

Steak at the Tinakori Bistro

The nicest steak I ever had was at the Tinakori Bistro. It was with Lesley and Shane. And Amanda.

It was a beef eye fillet (filet mignon) with béarnaise sauce.

Most of the time I am actually really happy with things like home cooked lamb chops and rice or schnitzel and mashed potatoes or golden roast potatoes and chicken. But that French cooking stuff can actually be really nice. And it does make a difference.

Tinakori Bistro is one of the better places in Wellington. Or it was one of the better French kitchens in Wellington for a long, long time.

I wouldn't mind visiting a few more places like that someday. Not too often though! It's wasteful and expensive.

I also always meant to learn to cook a good béarnaise sauce.

I could cook a perfectly nice scotch fillet (medium rare) and top it with a a nice mushroom sauce (made with nutmeg, garlic and shallots). But never got around to cooking a good béarnaise sauce.

I think that it was Char grilled beef fillet, gravy and bearnaise sauce, mashed potatoes. For $28.50 back in 2007ish.

****

This is added to the end of one of my other posts, and so I’ll put it here.

Extra addition:

Note: Amanda pretended to have been sexually impaired as a result of being molested as a child. And as a result of this struggled with things like having an orgasm and enjoying sex? She pretended to be psychologically disturbed. And kept up this charade for about 15 years. But in the end it was a total and complete lie, like everything else she ever said.

And so when we were married she said she enjoyed the things we did (go back to 2007, 2008, 2009 etc, back when I was capable of anything), but from my point of view, I tried my best, and read guides and books and stuff, but I wasn't amazing. But I worked at it and figured some stuff out, even though she claimed to not be very "responsive". I managed to find things that she said felt nice, and seemed to enjoy. With a partner who was genuine and nice and kind and good, I probably wouldn't have been half bad to be with straight away. But probably it would have taken me a few months to really figure things out and take the stuff I had learned and put it into action.

It’s an addition to this article:

Extra: my relationship with Amanda, and a little bit about my family, as part of my life story - it’s okay to read now, even though it’s in draft

When she and I were about 18, 19, 20, 21, we did nice normal stuff that she told me felt nice. And that she seemed to enjoy (although not as much as I might have hoped she would enjoy! I talk about this elsewhere). From 2017 - 2021, I was basically totally crippled. And so things were really bad. I would have preferred not to have sex at all. But we were anyway. She desperately wanted to get pregnant. It was a horrible period of time. She and I basically just did what I was capable of, which wasn’t much. I still need to write about this part of the story. It needs to be told thoroughly. It was sex while very badly disabled with a woman desperate to get pregnant. And a man who wants to recover his health, but can’t. And can’t even walk around the block.

****

Back in the day, when I went to the doctors for my physical health symptoms, they gave me psychiatric medications. And redirected me to mental health services and stuff. And the psychiatric medication sometimes made me way worse. And so I said, nah. I don’t like doctors. And I don’t trust them. They cause me tons of problems.

I intend to write about this more in the entry for 2013.

****

Philosophy

FWIW. When it comes to things like Derrida. And similar to Derrida. I might actually be more capable of tangling with those styles of ideas than people might think (the Chinese), but just choose not to play those games. And I choose not to explain myself.

****

Geraldine

I had a nurse from Geneva healthcare come to see me from late 2019ish until 2023.

She washed my back, armpits, chest and legs on a regular basis. And my feet. She cut my hair a few times and prepared my food.

She also sat to talk with me and to have a cup of tea.

She was with me for years.

I literally had a nurse in my home 4-6 days a week for years.

She knew about my health issues and the many problems I had.

Not once did she tell me about the cell towers or satellites. She could have done that so, so very easily.

She was at my place 4-6 days a week. I saw her all the time.

She was a tall, slightly older Scottish woman. Formerly worked as a nurse, and was now a carer.

So I literally had a medical professional in my home for about 4 years. I also had 2-3 physiotherapists or occupational therapists visit. And also I had Jamie the nurse manager visit twice, iirc.

[this just in: Brynn lies and tells people that I'm awful to everyone that I see. In wifi. That I say, yeah whatever I don't care to all sorts of women that I meet. Even though I'm supposed to be a "swinger". And she undermines all of many of my healthcare professionals, via wifi, including Jamie].

****

It’s not “just de-conditioning”

Back in late 2022 and early-to-mid 2023 I was doing 200-500 mini squats a day. And walking for between 45-90 minutes a day (all inside).

Sometimes I would probably have walked more than that in a day.

I also spent a lot of time resting. I mostly did this while sitting on my chair and listening to music. I usually did this in 10-20 minute stints.

I started doing mini squats back in early-ish 2022. Back then I was doing fewer of them. But that was because I was still learning how to do them. But I built up to doing more. I might have started with 10-20 mini squats per day. And I built up to doing more of them over time.

Now as for doing 500 of them in a day. That was unusual for me and is quite a bit of exercise and movement. I probably might have been doing about 200-300 a day, is more likely. I think that doing 500 was pretty unusual for me! But I did it sometimes.

But the point I wish to make is that I was working hard to recover.

If I had been suffering from "just deconditioning" and this had been the cause of my mobility issues and posture problems, then I would recovered. That level of exercise would have resolved the problem.

Given that I did not recover, then it is clear that my problem was not "just de-conditioning" as some people suggest.

There we go, I have proven it.

These people crippled me for 8.5 years. And it isn’t “just de-conditioning”. I have debunked their theory. I have proven that it wasn’t “just deconditioning”.

****

Wednesday, 10th September, 2026

Just a quick reminder: Paul Solt has been charged with multiple serious counts of child molestation. And his sister told me ages ago that she thinks he did the stuff he has been charged with.

He has been going through the legal system since last year.

[he just admitted to it over wifi, I think. Doing the stuff he was accused of and charged with. All of it. But I’m not willing to confirm that the message came from him, because I have no way to confirm identity in this system]

Wednesday, 9th September

Rejecting the women

This is history now, but I tried so hard to reject these women in the past. Again and again I told them:

I don't want sex with any of your women.

And I don't want sex with the women yuh can give me.

But they wanted me to say "I just don't want sex."

****

The wanted me to say, "I don't want sex."

I wanted to put it into my own words, which is that I don't want sex with any ___your___ women, including the women amongst the normals you can supply me with.

[this is because I didn't want the evil fae/dregvant/wiccan in my life, not really. And because I felt that the normals were trafficked and coerced into it.]

[Furthermore, I wanted to reserve the right to find a girlfriend "on my own terms, in my own time, and in my own way" at some point in the distant future, once I had fully recovered. And I told them so. In those words. Many, many times.

Also, to say "I don't want sex" would be a falsehood, given that someday I would probably want a girlfriend. But also, it's okay not to get one!!!]

And finally, I was very concerned about suffering long term damage to my body and to my mind. And so I was very, very happy to give up the women and the money. And I also really, really wanted to get my health back. And so I was very, very happy to give up the women and the money.

But we failed to reach any kind of agreement or have any type of conversation.

I actually pleaded with them again and again and again that I might be able to have a proper conversation with them. But was denied a conversation. They didn't want to have a conversation.

I said again and again and again that I wanted to have a conversation for the sake of solving problems. But was denied that opportunity.

I essentially wanted to reject the women and become safe. And so that I could avoid damage, get some rest, stop doing dangerous things, stop getting hurt and injured, not be recrippled, rebuild my mind and body, get some dental work and rebuild normal friendships and social skills.

****

Conclusion: Sarah needs to go. And the CCP should potentially opt out of supporting this scheme.

****

What is this thing called wuv!? It confuses and infuriates us!?

https://youtu.be/mFdnYPaeI3k?si=9N0ObG1iVJyWQob3

****

The real trick in life is to spend an average 6 hours a night playing the popular video game "natural selection one" over steam. Even when it's a school night. That is what life is about. If my life ever had a golden age, then that was one of them.

****

That, and watch as much of the Simpsons as possible.

****

Conversation Copthorne fight blah

I wanted to have my own thoughts and make my own decisions in my own manner.

And they had a mental case spaz over it.

***

I decided that I'm just not following instructions from satellites.

I'm going to make my own choices in my own head, and in my own words and define things in my own way. I will use my own definitions and labels as part of this. And make my own judgement calls.

And once I judge things or decide things, I'll do things downstream of that.

And of course I can discuss things. But I'll do the choosing and judging and thinking inside my own head only own words.

Xi wanted me to structure my thoughts and feelings their way. But I didn't want to do that. I think that their way is dumb.

FWIW, I wanted to make a menu of sex acts that were acceptable. And negotiate a requirement for me and the woman to have a cup of tea (or a drink) beforehand and discuss what we want to do. And make sure the act is voluntary.

I tried to put this into writing... I just wanted to note everything Ken on a piece of paper.

And they went bananas!!!!!!!

Abso-fucking-lutely bananas.

How dare I want to have conversations first!! How dare I want to create a rule book and a menu! How dare I want to write anything down.

By the way, they had had a long running policy of attacking me for the crime of writing things down. They HATE it when I write things down. They hate it! It means I get all my ducks in a row intellectually and morally and cognitively.

And I hate their mental structures. Their way of thinking and structure thoughts is most certainly not to my taste.

[And also, dzogchen, zazen, vipassana are all crappy things to do! And the conclusions drawn from those practises suck. And also the Chinese language is a third rate language and I don't respect it.]

[Furthermore, I don't agree with the overuse of the term "consciousness". It's not my cup of tea. Other than casually. I'm fine with that. Or if someone just needs a word, it's okay. I also don't put reason on a pedastal. It's just one tool in the toolkit, and so deeply engrained in me by education that I just all on it when I need it. And lastly, there is a lot that goes on with reason and education and abstract thinking and consciousness and the training of the mind and nervous system that isn't well captured by the word consciousness. And it isn't that impossible to understand or discuss either!]

All came down to using my own words in my own way inside my own mind, and also on paper, to make decisions in my own way. And to manage this thing called consciousness (or general nervous system awareness and animating factor or conscious control or self guidance or speech and word related decision making) in my own way.

Ps: just as one more thing, I would kind of prefer it if I could have an open and truthful conversation before I have sex with them. To say, “are you here because they’re threatening you into being here by cell tower or satellite”? And to say, “I’m mostly only doing this because I’m obliged to do this”… or to acknowledge when I talk to them…” you’re here because you’re obliged to be here… because you volunteered yourself “

****

*****

Tuesday, 9th September, 2026

Some more reading

Here is a new page. I cannot recommend it to you unless you have read the basic life story already.

Extra: my relationship with Amanda, and a little bit about my family, as part of my life story - it’s a draft, but it’s okay to read now, even though it’s still a draft

Work in progress:

My life story: work in progress, Raine Street, Khandallah, Hutt Road

It’s a post/segment that jumps ahead to 2023/2024 and talks about my time at 6 Raine Street, 106 Khandallah Road, and 73 Hutt Road. There is some important stuff in there, but it isn’t finished.

***

Liu Xiaobo and his opinion of China

When asked what it would take for China to realize a true historical transformation. He replied:

"[It would take] 300 years of colonialism. In 100 years of colonialism, Hong Kong has changed to what we see today. With China being so big, of course it would require 300 years as a colony for it to be able to transform into how Hong Kong is today. I have my doubts as to whether 300 years would be enough."

I feel his pain. And his sense of abject despair and horror when looking at the nature of the problem. And I do so without advocating for China to be colonised for 300 years.

He won the Nobel peace prize in 2010, he was arrested and sentenced to a decade in prison in 2009. And he died in 2017 at the age of 61 from liver cancer and associated problems after receiving inadequate care while in jail. Ps: Human rights organizations and foreign officials heavily criticized Beijing, alleging that the state delayed his cancer diagnosis and withheld adequate medical care.

****

I had a conflict with Xi Jinping about a matter of wording.

I said that I am capable of feeling a little bit of desire for something without wanting to do it.

And that I'm happy not to do these things that they claim that I "want" to do. And that just because I feel a smidge of desire for certain acts, it doesn't mean that I want to do them.

And then I wrote a list of acts that I was willing to do, and or what sort of women I was attracted to. I got very badly attacked based on my even having the nerve to write that list.

I then basically told him that if he had a problem with my use of words and of the English language, then that's his issue. And I was going to use whatever words I wanted to used in my head, and undertake any course of action I wished to take, and think and write however I wanted to think and write. And his only recourse was to murder me. I.e. "fuck you kill me". It was because I decided that I will have my own words in my own head in my own way. And I would not comply with any of their instructions. Threats of death, dismemberment, maiming, torture, crippling or disfigurement, or horrific suffering of any kind wouldn't stop me. These were the only things motivating my behaviour before. Along with the promise of returning my health to me.

That is a new and different retelling of the same events I have recounted before from auckland.

Also, shortly prior to that, in sky city, I had asked for help and protection from these lunatics. Because I didn't know that Xi was the main finder since maybe 2012. And yeah, I asked for help because they had tortured me by crippling me for 7 years. He took exception to that and attacked me very badly, because he didn't like my use of the word "torture" for my being crippled for seven years. But what does he know? He is a high school dropout who speaks Chinese as his first language. Which is a decidedly third-rate language. And he went to Peking University, which at the time was no better than any one of our polytechnics, if that.

I think that being crippled by a bunch of bad people for seven years constitutes torture. Especially the type of crippling that they did, and the tightrope it forces me to walk (see how I got this way part two).

And so I got attacked there.

I still am writing up much of my story!

****

Monday, 7th September, 2026

By the way, the most successful socialist states on planet earth were Sweden and New Zealand (once upon a time). And they were anti Marxist.

****

Sunday, 6th September, 2026

Reposted:

Archived from the negotiations page

The quality control at the moment is minimal. They’re blasting my brain all day long at the moment.

IVF, babies etc

Ummmmm.

I need to redefine this stuff.

I think that calling it a cult might not work. Or a lesbian cult.

Maybe rename it as an organisation. A business syndicate, where they wanted to make money. And have high iq babies. And where president xi Jinping of China, had oversight.

I’ll do the proper page later.

Edit: it is illegal in New Zealand to get IVF without the written consent of the husband.

Amanda used IVF and then a protection order and the police to get rid of me. The protection order was for “emotional abuse”.

Amanda and Siobhan are in a long term sexual relationship. Or were in one for 20+ years. They were friends and were engaging in sexual intercourse often. Unknown to me.

Amanda and Brynn are in a long term sexual relationship, and were in one for 24 years. Since they were 13 years old. They have been sleeping together for years. Unknown to me.

Brynn and Angela are friends, and have lived together, I think? And are sort of in a long term lesbian relationship.

These people, along with Sarah, the “lawyer” formed a lesbian sex and fertility cult. These people purpose of the cult was to make money, and get pregnant. They wanted babies and money.

They turned me into an invalid, in an attempt to control me.

And then crippled me back in 2016, possibly to stop me getting away. Some foreigner signed off on it (president Xi Jinping). Let’s talk about it later. I might make a new page called…

More stories: Amanda, Brynn, Siobhan, Lily, IVF, a profit oriented lesbian sex and fertility cult

By the way, Brynn is the egg donor for Lily.

They exploited me for reproductive purposes, using IVF. Which was a criminal act.

And then they tried to use the police to cover up their crime (I started asking questions). And they lied to and misled the courts and police along the way. They also undermined my public defender. Public defence service.

And then the DIA covered for them too.

****

Some story snippets:

They crippled me.

They then commit the crime of fraud by getting IVF without my knowledge or consent. This is a crime! They used my sperm and Brynn's egg. And had a baby using Amanda's womb.

And then used the (corrupt) family court and a protection order to have me arrested and thrown out. I was dragged out of my own home by the police. The arresting officer was Detective Niall Deehan, NZOM. He is a family harm specialist.

After I got to Wellington, I tried to find a lawyer. But no one wanted to talk to me. I eventually found a lawyer via the public defense service. But she was corrupt.

These are some of the issues that exist.

The department of internal affairs denied me information that is rightfully mine.

And the fertility clinic also denied me information that was rightfully mine.

I’m still working on writing the main story!

First I’ll write up the segments of Raine Street, Khandallah, Hutt Road. And then I’ll get back to the years 2012-2021…

****

Introduction to martial arts

If someone (under thirty) wanted to learn something about martial arts, and they didn't know anything, personally I would recommend judo and Muay Thai.

As an introduction, go to a judo class for six months and then a Muay Thai class for six months.

Take a month off in the middle.

And that's your introduction.

If you're out of shape, then get fitter or fit-ish before going.

1. Do a little cardio: jogging, cycling or walk-runs; a little goes a long way

2. Make sure you can manage some strength movements (such as pushups, sit ups, bodyweight squats) or that you do gym stuff

3. For best results, make sure you have played a normal sport in the past like soccer or basketball or hockey or volleyball or netball

4. For best results, play a little sports (casual or otherwise) in the 8-12 weeks before showing up. Even if it's just soccer on Saturdays with friends, or a table tennis night at the local church hall.

And then after your introduction, let things settle for about 6-12 months before adding anything new, or trying to push to the next level. Other than maybe buying a boxing bag.

I can tell you from personal experience that Judo and Muay Thai are worthwhile.

If I had a specific political ideology that I was pushing...

Then I wouldn't tell people to do martial arts for it!

I'd suggest to them to stay physically active in whatever way was appropriate for them. And to be sensible about it.

Unless it's their hobby, or they're passionate about it or they have other good reasons for what they're doing. In which case to make whatever or whichever choices are best in their own eyes, within reason (and hopefully with a little advice from sensible friends). I might tell people to avoid too much vanity, but that might not go down well.

I'd say though, that cycling is a good option for a lot of people. And that walking and table tennis are good too. And swimming is very popular.

****

Friday, 4th September, 2026

Uncle Andy showed up when I was signing the affidavit for my defence of my protection order. To panic me? This was at 17 Princeton Road in 2023. He was formerly the mayor of Wellington from 2019 to 2022, and previously on the council for 27 years. He is now a member of parliament for the NZ first party. And the head of the transportation select committee. He is one of our 120 members of parliament, and in the governing coalition.

I’ll chuck some extra files on my other website. The affidavit itself is on there.

****

Thursday, 3rd December, 2026

I’m anti buddhism, but I’m not anti Buddhist people. Because for a lot of them it’s the best available option if they want to be a good and decent person. And so they pick up on it and choose to be a good Buddhism.

I’m fanatical about education though, and I think Buddhism is actually bad because it encourages things that interfere with or damage or undermine education. Education > Buddhism. And Buddhism subverts education.

That’s my basis for disliking Buddhism.

Note: Buddhists who are normal (or otherwise awesome people) living in eastern countries are in a slightly different situation to Buddhists in places like New Zealand.

Because if you’re overseas, you might just default to Buddhism. Because it’s what’s there in your town. But here in nz if you want to be a good person, you might just go to a church or something growing up. But if you want to be a Buddhist, you’re just weird and trying to buck the trend or something.

****

Wednesday, 2nd September, 2026

I just cut this from my life story, because it wasn’t in context:

A digression:

Apropos of nothing, Lesley as it so happens was one of the primary drivers of wanting a baby. For years she had wanted grandchildren. And then I got crippled and was later exploited for IVF. She pushed for Amanda have one.

She also talked about it while driving me back from the Alexander technique lesson on day (I was struggling to walk that far comfortably: from Tiromoana Road to Princeton).

She is now basically raising Lily half the time. Or more.

****

For the record, I loved my mother when I was a child.

And then even as a teenager after my parent separated, and I was told that it was my mother’s fault because she committed adultery, I still loved my mother and cared about her. It just wasn’t quite the same.

Ps: my father pretended that he was a good Christian person, and I didn’t know anything about his double life at the time (age of 13/14).

I still need to write my story in plain, clear chronological order. Because these people just play silly buggers!

****

FWIW. When I was young, I loved my brother as well. But I loathe conversations about this.

And I would have loathed conversations about it back then too.

I was a Christian and so love is a given.

But I would have to say that I hate ooey gooey conversations back then.

Conversations about feelings.

Yuck.

But anyways the computer system has been lied to on this and many topics.

And people will just continue to muddy the waters and kvetch and lie.

But such is life.

But I'm not fighting a war over the corrupted memory banks of the computers, I've actually got better things to do.

Ps: if you use the search function on archive two, you can find something where I say “I loved my brother”. It’s in the small text. It’s searchable. Read that post if you want to.

I am hoping to write up the 0-16 childhood part of my life story when I get around to it.

****

Tuesday, 1st September, 2026

Fwiw, I could play something like the first two minutes of stairway to heaven.

FWIW, I used to be an unironic young earth creationist.

And was once taught that the earth was about 10000 years old (or younger).

I stopped being religious in 2017. Not long before the feminist/communist brigade crippled me altogether. I was already an invalid for at least about 4-5 years.

I hope that I can write about this period in my life soon.

It was in around 2016 and 2017 that I decided that evolution and the big bang weren’t fake. And I decided that creationism might not be a sensible take on things. I also came to realise that the Bible wasn’t the inerrant, infallible, faultless word of God. And that it wasn’t perfectly divinely inspired. I searched about found faults in the Bible. Errors! And I read some Bart Ehrman too. Also believed in biblical literalism.

Now I ask you, would a Christian who was that gung ho about his faith be likely to be sleeping around in high school, or committing adultery and chasing after other women while still married?

I was also an Ayn Rand loving libertarian from about 2007-2016 (with some quibbles).

****

There is no such thing as "de-whatevering".

There is just aggravated assault and assault with a weapon.

The reason it is aggravated assault is that it is carried out while engaging in stalking, at the very least.

It is assault with a weapon.

3 yrs for aggravated assault, or 5 years with a weapon.

And then wounding with intent.

I think that damage to someone's mind's eye that lasts more than 7 days after the attack starts, or lasts more than a few weeks in general should be considered wounding with intent.

Also, damage to someone's posture that is considered significant by the court should be considered wounding with intent. You’re wounding the “posture” with the intent to cause an injury to the person.

Wounding with intent as a crime carries with it 14 years imprisonment.

Posture is stored in nervous system, the memory and the "muscle memory". And a great deal of your personality, sensory awareness, coordination and cognitive abilities are tied up in that. And it could be considered to be an act that "wounds, maims or disfigures, or causes grievous bodily harm" to persons. Which is from the crimes act of 1961.

Posture is actually a funny thing. And it’s hard to discuss intelligently sometimes. But here we are. It’s kind of a plastic thing, but stored in the nervous system, brain, muscle memory and in your body and it’s a weird concept and term. As a pedantic (and honestly neurotic thing) I don’t like the word.

****

Some of these things could be prosecuted as crimes after all of this is done… that’s all I am saying.

****

Abstract thinking and “models”

By the way:

If you want to get better at abstract thinking in general:

Try doing the follow things:

first year accounting at university

first year statistics at university

High school level mathematics and algebra (or first year university)

Do first year economics

university level finance, just one course

And then you will learn a lot about abstract thinking, including how to do "models" and also what models are useful for.

Prerequisites:

Before that, pass school all the way through

Read plenty of books

Spend plenty of time having good interactions with others and conversations

Learn good English (or other suitable language)

Learn some grammar

Write every day (keep a diary)

Go for walks where you think every day, "thinking walks"

Learn some music, including theory. Do a couple of grades

Models aren’t platonic shapes in the sky.

Duh.

They are just representations that are useful.

***

Definition:

“A model is a simplified representation of a real-world system, object, or concept designed to help us understand, explain, or predict how something works.”

****

Monday, 31st August, 2026

I don't think that I did "whatever to whatever" with Amanda.

I think that I married a long term friend who I thought was a Christian, but who then turned out to be good for nothing. She turned out to be a fake.

****

Second tentative telling of the story:

Uhhh.

I don't think that I did "whatever to whatever" with Amanda.

I think that what happened is that a long term friend who had been a secular person for a long time chose to become a Christian (or pretended to).

And then I thought she was a Christian.

And then we dated, we "fell in love"*, I asked her to marry me, we got engaged, we got married, and then we were married for 16ish years.

But it turns out that she was a fake. She wasn't a Christian. And she wasn't a good person.

*"fell in love" is a fake concept anyway.

****

Also, I had a good relationship with my father in my life from 0-18.

Or I thought I did. It turns out he was a fake. He was a fake friend.

He pretended to be a good Christian, but he was a fake.

And he could have just told me that Amanda was no good. I actually talked to him before I really started dating her.

Anyway, I’ll tell you the full story later. Or at least a fair bit of it.

I have actually told you guys pretty much everything you really need to know. But there are more details.

Ummmm. My father tried to present my relationship with Amanda as a rebellion against him? Or that I was a runaway. But that just isn’t accurate. He could have just talked to me. Just a few sentences or a few honest words could have done it.

****

Sunday, 30th August, 2026

If you were raised in China, you are probably culturally and linguistically retarded. You have also been caused to become retarded (backwards) in manners. And you may have been caused to be cognitively impaired (Buddhism). And finally, you were miseducated. On purpose.

You were miseducated. On purpose. As something approximating a cosmic joke. A joke at your expense.

****

Xi’s Father

Xi Zhongxun served as the deputy director and Party Secretary of the Government Administration Council's Committee on Culture and Education, which oversaw educational administration in the early years of the People's Republic of China.

Xi Zhongxun served as the head of the Propaganda Department of the Chinese Communist Party (officially known as the Publicity Department) from 1952 to 1954.

Appointment: Brought to Beijing from China's northwest in September 1952, Xi took charge of the party's propaganda, culture, and education apparatus.

It's in the family.

They want to turn China and planet into miseducated idiots and fools.

****

Friday, 28th August, 2026

Buddhism is bad, meditation is bad. Don’t listen to Buddhists if they tell you how you’re supposed to think. They’re bad at it. And they’ll rob you of your cognitive edge.

The Han Chinese logographs (characters are bad). You need a better language.

The tonal language known as mandarin is bad for your throat, tongue and mouth. And it changes the way you think, and also changes the muscle memory of how you use your throat, tongue and mouth. It’s bad for you. People think kinaesthetically, and I feel that speaking mandarin is bad for your kinaesthetic thinking.

Han people aren’t defective. They’re just people. Just like the Germans weren’t all bad people during World War Two, and a lot of them don’t like it and didn’t like it. They’re not all evil people. And I’ve found that a lot of the Han people I have met are really friendly and quite likeable. It’s a sad situation.

I don’t like Buddhism though, and meditation is an mis-education and de-training of the mind. And displaces proper development. And I don’t like the characters or tonal language. But the Han people aren’t trash. They’re just people.

I need to write more about Confucianism, oriental stuff, harems, Alexander the Great and a few other topics.

****

Tentative:

The words that you exchange in conversation have to be taken in context and understood in context.

That's foundational to philosophy. Or good philosophy.

It's more important and deeper than philosophy. It's foundational to good philosophy.

The words spoken in conversation don't exist in a detached otherworldly plane. They exist or existed in context.

****

Definitions that exist in dictionaries are a different converation.

****

Perhaps a better question to ask is, "are you actually trying to understand things better, and help other people to understand you? In your opinion, is the purpose of speech to be understood?

And do you use words to help you to understand things better? Do you use words internally to help you to facilitate the development of better understanding.

****

Thursday, 27th August 2026

****

These philosophers (lovers of wisdom) often use consciousness as their starting point. They look inwards, and see their mind as a slate across which words are written. Or a table at which discussion is held.

But they forget to ask how exactly they developed the ability to use their consciousness? How they developed the capacity to think about their thoughts in the first place?

How did they develop the capacity to see their mind as a slate across which words are written? Or a table at which discussion is held?

Answer: just think about it! Sometimes they learned it at home on the carpet playing with letters blocks, sometimes they learned it by talking to their father all day, sometimes at school. They learned it inside their own mind while walking here and there, perhaps after having learned to read and write. Or perhaps before. And they just start thinking with their own thoughts, and they say, “I am thinking about my own thoughts”. And then you’re away.

****

Just ummmmmmmmm.

Learn to speak English.

Have plenty of time spent in conversations.

Learn to read and write.

And then read the "Tiffany Aching" books. And you'll learn enough about thinking to be getting on with. Unironically, these books give you better philosophy than the Greeks or Romans philosophers.

You will learn about first thoughts and second thoughts. And thinking about thinking.

The next thing you need to do is have fun with definitions.

And then play some word games, like the dictionary game.

And then do some practise debates.

And have a whole bunch of playful arguments.

Try writing an essay or five, that helps.

And get used to talking about your opinions.

And talking about your thoughts.

And go for some long walks in which you think about thinking.

Don't worry too much about it, it's easy.

For further development, try doing abstract thinking inside your head.

And you can just use a lot of educational materials available for "normal" education as part of developing your understanding.

Uhhhhh. Consciousness isn't the right starting point.

Education is, and understanding that education and the development of the kind is part of culture, and culture is a "going concern".

*****

Consciousness

The English philosopher John Locke is widely credited with introducing the modern psychological concept and definition of "consciousness" in his 1690 work, An Essay Concerning Human Understanding, defining it as "the perception of what passes in a man's own mind".

I don't love the use of consciousness as the starting point philosophically.

I have other opinions.

Usually associated with viewing human civilisation as a going concern.

But perhaps I will talk about that later.

****

If you want a good culture of the intellect, then copy the English.

What you need is a culture of manners and conversation. And you need people who read. You need an alphabet that was invented by traders, or descended from one invented by traders, not philosophers and priests.

You need a population who is literate, and who can read and write. And who practise these skills regularly.

You need a society that studies grammar, and has respect for grammar. And you need a society that studies ancient languages too (but only if the ancient languages are Latin or Greek or maybe Hebrew, Arabic or Aramaic). Because that helps with grammar and language in general.

And you want to have a culture where argument and debate can flourish in the household.

Conversation.

And then you need to walk and think.

Long periods of time where you can just engage in serious (and unserious) thought. Perhaps for an hour a day. Walking and thinking. It was an important practise for me.

You know how dancers practise dancing, or martial artists and fighters practise, or cello players practise, or religious people have a practise, well I had an important practise.

It was called walking and daydreaming. But really it was just thinking and dreaming up new solutions. Or practising using my mind in general. I enjoyed it, and actually practised. For one example of practise, I manipulated basic graphs in my head for economics. That is both "study" and general mental practice.

And it is far more beneficial to do that while walking than to do anything eastern, like meditation while sitting down.

I was always lost in thought. My mind was occupied, full of thoughts, I was always daydreaming, and my head was in the clouds. I was an absent minded genius. That was who I was. It's much better than walking around with "mindfulness".

Switch topics:

Mindfulness in daily life is just a mind full of nothing.

It's a mind where you've trained yourself to smother every thought, except those you have conscious control over. Where you practise weird control over it. And if you mediate, you often learn to bring "open awareness" into the mix. Where awareness of surrounding an and noises and sensations are trained into you to become part of your consciousness. To reduce divisions between you and the sense of the world.

And you have conditioned yourself to stop your sense of self, and indeed smother it until it withers away. That sense of self was just a habit of mind, engrained into the nervous system tissue of the brain, but it is actually a very good one.

And so if you train and condition your nervous system and brain to have open awareness of surroundings and attention on that as a huge part of your consciousness, and to smother and control your foreground thoughts and maintain an empty blanks slate of the mind that is receptive to experience around you, and you have "mindfulness" and awareness and "use your attention" and have trained your attention in that way... and you have trained yourself out of the habit of seeing things from the perspective of "I" until even the engrained sense of self is gone...

Then I pity you, and look upon your situation with abject horror.

Unless you are proud of it, in which case I might have overwhelming contempt for you.

Or you’re trying to spread it, in which case I feel disgust. I actually look upon it with pity, horror, contempt and disgust. All at once.

****

Update and addition from yesterday

Or horror. Abject horror.

It's not only contempt (or pity).

It's abject horror.

That's how I look at people who got into meditation and modified their consciousness and intellect and mind and nervous system and sense of self and sense of reality and sense of perspective and learned to over control and smother their abstract thoughts and slow and weaken their thinking.

****

Wednesday, 26th August, 2026

Oriental meditation (Indian or Chinese or Thai or Tibetan) damages your sense of perspective and your sense of self. It's bad for you. There are better ways to develop and train the mind. You are free to choose.

There are many ways to practise using your mind and to improve the way you use the landscape of your mind. There are a lot of "practises" you can engage in. If only you know how.

If you want to train yourself or condition yourself to have less of a sense of self, then you can do that. If you want to train or condition yourself to have a less active mind and a feeling of being more deeply enmeshed with the world around you (the feeling of mindfulness) then you can do that.

You are free to choose.

But if you want to condition yourself to have a stronger sense of self or to have a more active, alert, powerful mind. A better trained mind, a quicker, sharper mind. Less vapid. Then you can do that. You are free to choose. You can also learn to do stuff like practise visualisation, debate, graphing, calculus and algebra, accounting and economics, discuss and define and redefine theories in your head. And the ongoing practise of these things develops your mind. That’s just part of it. Comp sci and coding, graphics, 3d level design, cards or stats or probability. Lots of working out your mind using definitions, grammar and vocabulary. And coding and syntax. And graphing and angles and geometry. Especially while walking. That’s the best way to do it. Glhf.

Some of you need some faraday shelters. To be able to do that. Even if it's just boxes in your wardrobe. But you can choose.

I don't think highly of the goals, intentions or aims or ends of Buddhist meditetion. But it is possible for an educated person to gain a little from it, but perhaps only by strongly rejecting the conclusions given by the practise, and also by rejecting the idea that you need to keep doing it. Maybe just modulate your nervous system a little, or down regulate yourself a bit and change your attention slightly, to let the thoughts slow and relax a bit.

If you practise meditation and managing your attention like an oriental. You can end up improving perceived focus. But you might train and condition your mind wrong. Kind of like t’ai chi can change your mind body connection and awareness. But it might totally ruin your body mechanics and “de tension” your body and be really, really bad for you. And take the strength out of you. It’s horrible. But well oriental meditation might be really, really bad for your mind and condition mention it to be weak and lame like a body trained by t’ai chi.

Meditation and oriental practises, and oriental culture as a whole, are just plain bad. It's what Alexander the Great fought against. And his men warned him not to go "oriental".

***

I overwhelmingly have and feel contempt for those who are really into oriental meditation practises and totally embrace it and promote it. That stuff is actually bad for you and others. Or perhaps I ought to feel pity.

***

Contempt is a strong feeling of deep lack of respect, disdain, or disgust toward someone or something considered worthless, base, or inferior.

***

My spiritual teacher is unironically Terry Pratchett.

And half of my ideology (if I had one) is probably neoclassical economics. Or economics as a whole. Including the Austrian school of economics. Yeah, it’s economics as a whole: humans act.

“people make conscious, purposeful choices to reach specific goals.“

And here we are.

I also like a lot of judeo-Christian views. But I just plain don’t see why I shouldn’t be able to just change things. Intervene.

I also liked a lot of Rick Warren’s stuff, Erwin McManus, Timothy Keller, DL moody, and many others. I especially liked Rick Warren’s stuff and dl moody’s stuff. I loved Rick warren’s ministry podcast. About ministry work. I loved Elisha and Elijah. Moses is cool, and I like Jesus and the apostle Paul (iirc). I liked Erwin McManus’s book uprising (a revolution of the soul). I admire people like Udham Singh, Otoya Yamaguchi. And I very much admire the people who existed in nz in the 20s and 30s (mostly Christian) and prior who turned New Zealand into the best country on planet earth (for a while). The leaders didn't make New Zealand what it was, the people and the activists did it. The leaders were often weird people tied to the Fabians and Labour in the UK but the actual activists and campaigners amongst the normal people actually made it happen. Before Muldoon/Lange ruined it. Ps: Muldoon was a sex pest and a drunk.

I went to Christian school when I was young. And I unironically believed everything. And I absorbed all of the teaching totally. And all of the moral lessons and Christian books. Btw, we were eve taught young earth creation ahahahhahah. But anyway, I learned all about love, peace, joy, patience, kindness, the Ten Commandments, compassion etc.

Sorry, that is enough.

*****

Added on Wednesday, 23rd

I’ll bump it later. But I’m trying to get visibility for other stuff.

Clarification:

For economic, cultural and moral reasons, I'm okay with very easy immigration into New Zealand for islanders and am in favour of NZ investment in the islands and also for it to be really easy for the to work and live here.

Some people might say that they are fat, lazy or useless and have a bad work ethic. But they're actually Christians in large numbers. And also they embrace the culture of friendliness, especially Samoans. And both Tongans and Samoans have cultures of love, compassion and hospitality.

I am in favour of being quite welcoming towards islanders (Cook Islands, Samoan, Tongan, Niue, Kiribati) into New Zealand. We already have close ties to them. 50% of Tongans, cook islanders and Samoans are already here, or similar.

And also for economic reasons, it makes sense for them to have ties. Because economically, the situation can be quite depressing and grim in the islands. It's hard to have a strong and excellent economy in the islands. It's difficult to develop properly, for a variety of reasons.

And so I welcome having close ties with pacific islands and islanders. And economic ties and investment. And I'm happy to for us welcome them into the country. I don't feel that way about all immigration.

I'm putting this here to try to give a clearer point of view.

Note: some of them do sometimes support the "evil brigade", and support the cruel and nasty scenarios of the dregvant, and this is to be discouraged and is a sad thing. And sometimes they do it because or race/ethnicity. But it doesn't remove what was said above.

And personally I don't have super close ties to them culturally. But I'm still positive towards them.

****

Just as an aside, I think that a strong commitment culturally to love, compassion, friendliness, kindness and hospitality, and having morals (Christianity) count for more than reason, logic, perfect adherence to truth (which still matters, truth/falsity matters), perfect adherence to rationality or a puritan work ethic.

****

********

****

I had imperfect posture as a toddler, but I mostly grew out of it. For example, when I was ten I just kind of had tight shoulders (tight traps).

And fwiw, as a teenager I was strong, fit, healthy and capable.

I wasn't a cripple-gimp.

As another point, my grandfather deliberately misled people by putting derpy pictures of me into a photo book. This is part of a family conspiracy which I won't talk about now.

I have talked about this elsewhere.

30th September:

Hidden comment

If you were to judge people based on the content of their character (to quote MLK junior) then how would you judge the Chinese race?

I would judge them as being reprehensible. Holistically speaking, I would judge them as being reprehensible, on average.

Morally evil: on average, they don't police and purge the disease and cancer and rot of sin and evil from their hearts and souls. They engage in cowardice when it comes to the task of rooting out death and disease from their insides. And let it fester. They shirk the duty to police themselves. And so evil flourishes in their society.

And so is it a bad thing to profile people based on race?

Is it a bad thing to prejudge people based on race?

What if you're a person who has a lot of compassion? What if you're devastated by things like the good women of China? What if you're genuinely upset at stories like uncle toms cabin? What if you're so upset by what happens to the main character of Les Miserables (the woman) that you have to stop reading about 100 pages in after she sells her teeth? What if you're still so disturbed and appalled by the loss of life under Mao and the horrors of the great famine and cultural revolution, and that no one was allowed to leave in the cultural revolution, that you can't fathom how anyone can shake a CCP persons hand without spitting their face?

What if you’re so compassionate, and have such kind intentions, and care so deeply about the wellbeing of others, that you can’t even inhabit the same planet of thought as other people?

What if you have compassion for people, and believe in mercy… but you still pay attention to race! And you don’t believe in scientific racism (it’s a lie). But you still discriminate, judge and categorise people based on race.

What if you have as much compassion, love and kindness for other people as you can muster? And at the same time you discriminate based on race, gender, sex, religion, ethnicity and so on? To be a discriminating person isn’t a bad thing. Wait! Discrimination has a wrong meaning! Cut that one!

Ummmm. I need to find a better word.

What if you categorise people and weigh them up and make predictions based on race, as to what they’ll be like, but you actually have an internal calculus based on love, kindness, compassion, mercy and decency?

By the way, the worst way to judge me is by my internal thoughts. Or by what I say after long, severe and horrific torture.

And what if people have totally judged me incorrectly. And I’m actually the best sort of person. But some of you have been lied to about me?

What if I am kind, patient, loving, compassionate, merciful*, just, decent, reasonable, lenient, easy to persuade if I am wrong, understanding, not self seeking, considerate, not enormously prideful. What if I am characterised by self giving love. What if other people matter a lot to me? And what if you have been consistently and repeatedly lied to about me?

Hypothetically speaking.

What about the possibility that my pedophile father and monstrous ex wife have lied to you? And misled you!? And what if Siobhan and Brynn who are Amanda’s long term lesbian lovers have lied to you? And what if Lesley who separately wanted a grandchild and pushed criminal behaviour had lied to you?