Quick discussion about marriage and monogamy

 Next, I want to say.

When the Christian church arrived on the scene, a lot of free-women were kind of living in a half prostitute situation. They were prostitutes, but I think maybe not always brothel prostitutes. It wasn't nice. Also a lot relied on their Johns to keep them safe. And many became destitute once ugly. Children had prostitutes for mothers and no fathers. Mothers then died and orphans were plentiful and trafficking was rife.

And poverty was horrible, at the lower end of the scale.

It was bad.

Christianity and the church changed things. They showed up and invited so many people in. The offered people the chance to turn away from their old lives and become new again. And to get food and safety from trafficking. And there is another issue, which is that the system of law required advocates and usually a male patriarch was helpful! By that I mean it literally useful to have an adult man to represent you in court. And not every widow, former prostitute or orphan child (in danger of being trafficked into slavery) had one of those. And the church could help you there. And of course they would visit you in jail, clothe you, give you shelter, and tend to you when you were sick etc. They did so much. A note on trafficking: a Roman could just lure a child into doing work at his place, and act nice. And then ask him to work at a different location. Travel with him. And then in a new town, no one knew that the child was a freedman's child, or a citizen/freedwoman prostitute's orphan. So the Roman cooks just say, oh. He's always been a slave. Or her. Aaaannnnddd if you don't have an advocate, you can't actually prove it as a child. Or if you don't basically have community to prove it. And then the kid has limited recourse. Law and order was different back then! And the church provided shelter and advocacy for these kids.

Next, the church provided shelter for children left to be exposed to die (that was the Roman's version of abortion: let the kid be born and then left to die). They would leave them in the side of a hill to die or be picked up by someone. And the church picked up many of those kids: see also this as a counterpoint: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dying_Rooms - that is the heart and soul of CCP China right there.

And so, the church provided a refuge for many people. As well as being a virtual kingdom within a kingdom.

They gave them a new life and a new hope.

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Next topic

What then about marriage?

Well. The teaching of the church was that they skip marriage and just focus on serving the poor. Christians, both men and women were recommended to be like St Paul and not get married.

Please read all of this:

I have read it myself dozens of times. I don't remember how many times.

1 Corinthians chapter 7

Now for the matters you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 I say this as a concession, not as a command. 7 I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.

8 Now to the unmarried[a] and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife.

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

15 But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. 16 How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Concerning Change of Status

17 Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches. 18 Was a man already circumcised when he was called? He should not become uncircumcised. Was a man uncircumcised when he was called? He should not be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing. Keeping God’s commands is what counts. 20 Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

21 Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. 22 For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings. 24 Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them.

Concerning the Unmarried

25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy. 26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

29 What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

36 If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong[b] and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married. 37 But the man who has settled the matter in his own mind, who is under no compulsion but has control over his own will, and who has made up his mind not to marry the virgin—this man also does the right thing. 38 So then, he who marries the virgin does right, but he who does not marry her does better.[c]

39 A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord. 40 In my judgment, she is happier if she stays as she is—and I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

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It was better to remain unmarried.

To better serve the kingdom of heaven.

But men and women in the church and in Christendom were told that if they wanted to have sex, they were to be married.

From 1 Timothy 5

"As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. 12 Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. 13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. 14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. 15 Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.

I think that this implies that women were being busybodies and also gossiping, and perhaps sometimes they have sex and manipulate people based on that. This is inferred, but not certain.

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Anyway, women were refugees in the kingdom of heaven. They were given a place of refuge. And safety. And economic provision. And advocacy. And the husbands available were commanded to be good to their wives, faithful and reliable. And to never divorce them. And instructed to either remain single and celibate or marry. To be able to focus on what's important, such as serving the poor. Which was the biggest issue back then, besides basic oppression.

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And so, women in Christendom were refugees adopted by the church, from the horrors of Rome. Adoptees into the kingdom of heaven. Children of God, valued and loved. Invited in, given safety and refuge in this virtualised kingdom within a kingdom. And there were ground rules! Standards had to be maintained, and they were pretty clear.

And the women got a very good deal.

And so I want to make it clear that women weren't enslaved by men and turned into drudge housework and baby making machines. Rather, they were adopted, or given refuge, or given shelter. And singleness was better, if they could handle it.

Women weren't oppressed. They weren't captured and enslaved by men. It wasn't oppresssion. The feminists lied.

Also, marriage for non- upper nobility in the Middle Ages wasn't like you think it is. Plenty didn't marry. And many married late. It's not oppression. Men cared about wives and wives cares about husbands. Exceptions existed, but don't focus on them. Also, many stations of life existed in the "tree of commonwealth".

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And so the idea that women are sextastic prizes to be won!! And then controlled by mean nasty men!!! It's all lies. All of feminism is lies. And the romantic movement and chivalry also (chivalry is classist poison and anti Christian poison also). King Arthur and the round table is a disease, and I blame the French. Corrupter of English morals.

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The church offered refuge and shelter to women (and children and men). The church of course being the body of Christ on earth. The earthly manifestation of the kingdom of Heaven on earth.

And then there were ground rules, such as women get married if they want to have sex. Or better yet stay single. Please don't get married aghhhhhhhh. It's better not to.

Single and celibate or married and faithful.

And as part of the rules, there is no divorce and the woman must be obedient to her husband. And the husband must love his wife like Christ loved the church. Those are part of the rules of being given refuge in the local manifestation of the kingdom of heaven, the church or the body of Christ.

Those are the rules.

It's not oppression of a housework doing and baby production machine. Or of a prized sex object.

They weren't oppressed by monogamy.

Marriage, monogamy and lifelong fidelity weren’t oppression. Nor was the command for husbands to love their wives, nor was the command for women to obey their husbands.

Women weren’t a hyper sexy sextastic sex object to be exploited. They were a person be cared about and to be valued.

It was a place of refuge and shelter, and there were rules. And standards.

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You actually have to study stuff like history and sociology.

And don't ever forget that women are the weaker sex, and less effective at solving problems. Especially problems in construction, security and politics. And their bodies fall apart heaps. Ps: life long marriage and a husband obliged by religion to love and care for you for life is super valuable when you’re old, ugly and your lady bits stopped working and you pee yourself heaps because birth went badly on babies 3 and 4

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All of the narratives of feminism are rubbish.

But you can just choose as a group to be good to one another. Like at the community level. Or something like that.