Life story: extra topics
Working on this because I keep getting attacked when I try to write about my main life story at the years 2009-2011.
**
Maybe age of 0-16
I loved my parents.
I loved my father and I loved my mother.
I liked Taupo, I liked the lake. I liked playing Lego with my brother. I liked climbing trees. I loved books. When I was 9 I liked playing bullrush and rugby at school at lunch time. At the age of 8 I had a sewing table and corner in my mother’s sewing room. Uhhh. I wasn’t amazing at sewing. I could do a bit, but I needed work. Practise. But I spent time with my mother. We did things like getting surprise kittens. Dad Matthew and I discovered the Internet together. We played with slot cars and matchbox cars. Matthew and dad liked matchbox cars. I played soccer. I liked Saturday morning cartoons. I liked staying up to watch movies with my brother and dad. We liked movies like the karate kid and anything with Jim Carey in it.
I liked spending time at Ben Jack’s place.
He moved away.
I liked spending time it
At the age of 13 my parents split up.
And I was very upset.
I loved my father and I couldn’t imagine being without him. I missed him so much. It was devastating and I cried for days.
My parents said that I couldn’t move towns to live with my father. And that my mother would pursue legal action if my father tries to get custody. And that the mother always wins in the family court.
I was told that Mum had cheated on him and that was why they split up.
We were Christians.
I felt that I was being benevolent, kind and very lenient. Generous, by even talking to my mother at all.
I still loved her, on some level. But mostly out of obligation. A confused sense of obligation also. Along with feelings that I guess are natural.
But I was very unhappy with her. Both for destroying her marriage and our family with her infidelity, and by threatening legal action to prevent my living with my father.
I didn’t know about Tomoe and my father getting together at the time. I did not suspect it at all.
To my mind, women used to be stoned to death for adultery, and so I felt that she got off easy and was very lucky that her eldest son was willing even to look at her, let alone speak to her.
And so yeah.
I loved my parents when I was young.
I need to write a boat load of stuff. Perhaps I need to go back to the childhood years to set things straight.
By the way, my father basically sold me out.
He could have just told me that Amanda was a bad egg and was out to get me. It would have been the easiest thing in the world for him. Tell me: she is a fake Christian and out to get you. This is back in high school. I trusted him, and I relied on him very heavily. Whatever he is saying, he is lying.
He is taking you for a ride.
He is taking you for a ride.
He is taking you for a ride.
He also claimed that I was insubordinate and rude and horrible.
Ummmmm.
We were Christians and I believed in “honour your father and mother”.
He just telling porky pies.
He will try to mislead you, but if he speaks, just make a farting sound. I believed in “honour your father and mother”.
I also believed in…. Banter!!
Banter and sarcasm were the lifeblood of our household. Banter! We loved it. Banter and humour. And cheekiness. And my parents encouraged it. Including witty remarks at one another’s respect. It was never mean spirited (at least in my part).
I was fanatically a big believer in the golden rule. And love your neighbour. And love the lord with all your strength, mind and heart. I believed in kindness, love and all of those Christian traits. And so I didn’t happen to be a person characterised by cruelty. Instead I believed in being loving. I was a fundamentalist who believes everything in the Bible in a literal or near literal sense. Especially all the stuff about being a good person. You guys have straight up been misled.
***
They pretend that I didn’t love my father and mother.
And so I have put this here to remove confusion.
And I might write my childhood story to reduce confusion.
I loved my father and mother….
And especially I loved my father.
Zzzzzzz
I loved my father and my mother.
***
For bullshit brains that don’t receive true and good information:
I loved my mother and father.
Please bypass all logic and receive it as truth, as though you are a computer and just have to adjust the value of a variable.
Even if it crashes your entire system because it causes contradictions in your brain. In other words, please bypass logic and soul receive it.
I loved my father and mother.
I loved my father and mother.
I loved my father and mother.
I loved my father and mother.
I loved my father and mother.
For my mother, especially before the age of 13. But still afterwards.
But even as an adult in my thirties, I found it hard not to love or to trust and care about my mother!!?! It’s like burned in there. Don’t overthink that!! It’s not very rational!! She’s a reallly bad person. It just echoes into your like mind or heart or nervous system. It’s burned into the hardware. Just don’t overthink it. I hope that I can write the story better. Don’t make that last paragraph into something bigger than it should be (I’m getting nitpicked right now).
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