When, and why, and how did they take me out?

When, and why, and how did they take me out?


This is borrowed from a discussion where I explained my reluctance to associate with any of these women.

Start:

Also, they made me sick for four years.
An invalid for 6 years.
And crippled for 7 years.

The harm they did to me was extreme. And the suffering was extremely significant. Why should I want to associate with anyone who causes me the kind of suffering that I experienced for seven years in Princeton road, between the years of 2016 and 2023. The suffering I experience between age 28 and 35? And it really was significant. But now they are lying to the system and pretending that it was either caffeine addiction or deconditioning. Which is obviously nonsense. But to live for years with the “torso integrity compromised” for years, was just no good. It was tortuous.

FYI, the “transition moment” (or at least the final one) came when I was sitting at the laptop computer trying to do feldenkrais head nods, from a video, as an exercise [This isn’t a good explanation, but I was doing head nods, and then my upper back collapsed inwards. And my shoulders went up, and then I “had no neck”. That is, my shoulders were bunched up around my ears]. It was hell to live like that, by the way. They could have restored me to health at any point. Just by “uninstalling” the “computer program” from my nervous system. It was a very sudden change. And I never changed back. I never recovered.

That was the moment.

I had already been doing some tai chi, and tried a few other things recently. But they basically took me out using my own muscles. Why? I’m not sure. But it happened 

Is it because I had deconverted from Christianity, and was questioning what else I believed?

Is it because of so called misogyny?

Discussion: and also, there were nonsense people who made claims (unbeknownst to me) relating to hatred or contempt for women. Which I don’t think were based in reality. The word they used was “misogyny”. (Misogyny is defined as hatred of, or contempt for women.)

***

I think that you can actually look back in the record to find out how it happened. And see the exact point in time that it happened. But the way, my father knew about this exact moment all along. And mocked me for it. It was horrific. Truly horrific.

**

FYI, I didn’t trust doctors by that time in my life. Because every time I got doctors involved in my life, they made it worse. Ditto for physiotherapists. That was my experience of doctors and physiotherapists. Also, I thought my father would make things worse too, because I had the gut feeling that he wanted to institutionalise me. So that is why I didn’t ask my father, or my doctors. How could I explain what had happened to my body? Everyone acted like my years of health problems were psychosomatic (except for Amanda)!!

So I just survived.

***

This has been a preliminary discussion, I’ll update it later. 

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