Photos

June 05, 2025

Photos

I might be about 21 here ^ I can’t remember. These two photos were taken at my father’s wedding in the Wellington botanical gardens.

Above: I’m 23 here, at my father’s 50th birthday party.

Above: me at the age of 24

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Horrible things happened in the intervening time period. But you can read about them elsewhere in my blog, such as in misc stories, how I got this way part two and one, doctors and health, and many other pages.

Ten years have passed!

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Below: me at the age of 34, I can hardly walk properly. This is one of the only few times I have been outside in months. I have been for only one walk down the street in five years, and it didn’t go all that well. I actually just can’t walk properly or move around properly. On a visit, my father requested that we go outside to talk, because he knew I struggled with walking down the ramp on the front door, and struggled with walking on the hard uneven concrete (my feet were in really bad shape by then). He wanted to wear down my health a bit. I had been doing hundreds upon hundreds of “mini squats” every day for months. And walking for something like 60-90 consecutive minutes per day. I had to keep my shoulder braced the whole time though.

In this photo above, my father requested that I go outside with him to get a photograph for Nana. This above photo was taken maybe 3-4 months before the one above. They had kept me crippled for five years by that point^

I think this picture is in Raine Street^

just after I got out of the police van. I was arrested, spent a night in a police cell, and has two trips in a police van. Which actually harmed me a fair bit. It was taken a few months after the one beside the garden outside.

See how the shoulders are pulled back and down hard? I have to do that all day, just to survive. Because there is a strong pull on my body from the inside (muscles such as the iliacus, psoas, trapezius, throat/sternocleidomastoid). It’s horrible.

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Next… A lot of time has passed again. Something like 2 years.

I have spent a lot of time walking around outside. And they have had me jumping off of many, many objects. There has been so, so much jumping. During which all of this walking, I am consciously fighting against the “downwards pull” of the muscles (technically it might not be a downwards pull, but it certainly feels like it). I used some of my experiences to sneakily try to rehabilitate myself, using my own special flavour of mine-body techniques.

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Below: Later on in Lake Tekapo, at the age of 36, a lot of time has passed. And they have allowed me to recover some of my capacities, and I am able to walk around. I have done a lot of walking, and spent many days jumping off of objects. And onto objects. Sometimes I would walk and jump off of objects all day, or climb chain link fences. But only with high levels of conscious control and direction over my movements. I look awful in person. Ragged, and my back is kind of braced back, I walk awkwardly. And I can’t move my arms properly. But this photo makes me look a little bit more “normal”.